When All Seems Lost, I'm Here [Ilija]

[Deleted]

April 15, 2026
@ilija

Eeva had been a little surprised when she heard from Ilija, asking if he could stop by her place. It wasn't that it was a strange request to visit another person's home, it was simply the first time Ilija had made such a request. And from the friendship they'd formed over the past few months Eeva knew that such a request was incredibly uncharacteristic of him. That wasn't the memories of Hannah either, that was something she'd come to learn herself. While the memories made things... awkward at times it had thankfully gotten easier. Ilija was different then Hannah's memories, so while something she knew from the memories she'd gotten to know him normally as well. 

Either way, Eeva hadn't refused his offer. It would be his first time seeing her "home", as unorthodox as it was. Eeva, someone who really didn't like confined spaces, had built a home in a cave. Not exactly something people would expect from her. She was free spirited and a cave seemed quite... permanent. But Ilija knew about her second problem. She'd been "curse" on Yrisle more then once. It wasn't just Hannah's memories. She also heard the thought of creatures, even the tiniest of insects, when they were near. The cave gave her control over her surroundings so that she could, when needed, retreat to a quiet space where she wasn't plagued by the thoughts of creatures. Thankfully, she'd been growing a little more comfortable with the space, and was finally starting to consider it home.

Finding it, of course, would be the challenge. So, Eeva had told Ilija to meet her at the village not to far from the cave. She'd leaned up against a tree, her eyes cast upward as she watched a pair of birds, silently listening to their thoughts. IT was still difficult, as she'd already had a strong affinity for creatures before, unusually strong even for a Druid, but now... AS much as it could be considered a curse it also felt like a blessing at times. She'd long since accepted the affliction. Now... it was just trying to make the most of it. That was when the birds were startled by someone approaching and flew off. Eeva's eyes slowly trailed downward until they came to rest on the one that had startled the winged creatures. Ilija. "Glad you found it," she greeted casually with a "not a care in the world" tone she was known for. "Are you sure you want to visit my place? Your technology won't be much use," Being in a cave meant if he did have a phone the signal would be absolute trash, plus she didn't actually have any sort of power in the place.... Though she'd already warned him, she felt it necessary to double check. 

[Deleted]

Everything was quite a lot to take in. Still Ilija knew he had to find a way to deal with the situation this time. He'd warned his siblings that he'd be out and he'd also texted Carmen he was off for the weekend and wouldn't be easily available, except in emergencies. He'd been glad to leave his phone behind, even more so since he hadn't even had one before he'd moved back to the UK. The peace and quiet of the village that Eeva had told him to visit was already a great start in clearning his mind but it was only a start. He'd brought a bunch of paperwork in his bags and had comfort in knowing that Rhys was keeping an eye on Vasilia. At least he wouldn't allow her to work herself to death. Felix had their mother and Ilija needed time off. He'd rarely truly been alone or simply in a quiet place since moving back and part of him wondered if he ought to find himself his own place after... well after he'd handled the bureaucracy around his fathers death.

He smiled slightly as he laid eyes on Eeva. Where most people saw the striking similarities between her and Hannah, he'd come to know and love the differences. The ways her eyes sparkled, especially when she saw snow. The more stern lines of her face that betrayed just how different from Hannah she truly was. It was so strange for him to be around her. It was like he saw the most beautiful woman on the planet and the memory of the young girl he'd once fallen in love with was like a glamour over her face that made her seem like an untouchable goddess. It confused him, as she wasn't Hannah and he was worried his feelings for her were based more on how much she looked like his long since lost love than any genuine emotion towards her as a person. Yet they'd still gotten to be close friends and Ilija was glad for that. So he'd asked if he could stay with her for a little while, just a few days to take a break. Luckily, she'd agreed.

She warned him that his technology wouldn't have much use and he chuckled. "I left my phone behind. It's not much of an escape when the thing has been going off constantly lately." He sighed a deep and weary sigh. The newspapers had caught wind of his relationship with Camila and he found too many people were interested in him and his story. He hadn't even been willing to share the full story with Carmen herself. He'd shared it with Eeva, up to some point, though he told himself that was because she looked so similar to Hannah that it was hard to believe Hannah actually passed, which made it easier to talk about. Or maybe he just felt like he owed Eeva an explanation for why everybody kept getting the wrong impression, especially when they were hanging out together. He gave her a quick hug. "Thanks for letting me stay over a bit. It means a lot." He assured her, finding himself to already be far more relaxed than he'd been before.

@eeva

[Deleted]

April 15, 2026
@ilija

Eeva pushed away from the tree as Ilija approached. Immediately she noticed how.... unwell he seemed to be. Dark shadows under his eyes, pale skin. He looked like a man that had had far to many sleepless nights. No wonder he wanted to come spend some time at her place. He must need to get away from something. She could understand those feelings quite well. At least he was just running away to her cave and not another country. "That's why I don't bother with one, too much noise and distraction." Okay, it might be a slight druid trait to not use technology unless necessary. But it was true. phones were just bothersome in her mind. She offered a warm smile as he moved for a hug, which she returned, before pulling away. "Please, I should be thanking you. I could use some human company for a change. At least you don't know nearly as many insults as my Jarvey." She teased with a wink. Though it was her own fault the creature knew so many insults in the first place...

"Come on, it's this way." She motioned with her head in the direction and started to lead the way. She lead him down a worn game trail. Soon what few sounds of civilization there had been from the sleepy village disappeared, swallowed by the forest. It wasn't necessarily a long walk, but long enough to avoid anyone accidentally stumbling upon it while taking a leisure stroll. "I only have one rule, don't let any insects into the cave. They can be frustrating to find if they get inside and they'll keep me up for hours." she explained as they walked. Of course, Ilija knew why. Though they hadn't talked about it recently he knew that ever since Yrisle she'd been able to hear the thoughts of creatures, including insects.

[Deleted]

Being with Eeva was easy, simple almost. She knew everything there was to know about the guy he'd once been and didn't press him for details about who he'd become after the tragedy she remembered from what had to be a far more painful point of view than his own. To know all they'd lost and endured and have felt the pain of Hannah's death, only to see how badly he coped with it? That couldn't be easy. He smiled at her at the mention of noise and distractions. "Definitively. Sometimes I consider just throwing it away and never picking it up again. It's never quite that simple, it seems." He said with a weary sigh. There were some difficult things for him to deal with, but his heart felt just a little lighter. Around Eeva it felt like he didn't have to explain or deal with everything alone.

She mentioned her Jarvey and he chuckled. "I'll be on my best behaviour then so I don't teach him more bad behaviour." Ilija said with a smile and a slight bow. He followed her easily as she led the way towards the cave, feeling like the footsteps behind him already left a far heavier imprint than before, even if very little changed. He nodded as she mentioned not letting insects into the cave. He had no idea how exactly she expected him to do so but he'd at the very least try. There had to be a lot of spells and wards on the house to keep insects from squeezing in through every nook and cranny available. As a curse breaker it intrigued him a lot. "I feel I should mention... but my father passed recently. I've been dealing with paperwork mostly but all the sympathy and compassion is just... draining me. Never been that good with pity." He muttered, knowing she full well would be able to remember that from Hannah's past. Even if it made sense, he prefered to look at things from a more positive and cheerful disposition, although that habit had long since faded. "How have you been? With ... everything going on?"

@eeva

[Deleted]

April 15, 2026
@ilija

Ilija was at quite the disadvantage when it came to his friendship with Eeva. She knew far more about him then he knew about her. Though, at least what she did know she'd learned herself or it was from many years ago and he'd changed a great deal in that time. After the initial shock of receiving Hannah's memories she'd thankfully found a way to separate her own memories from Hannah's, though some days it was difficult. Today wasn't one of them, thankfully. Eeva knew, at least a part of her, t hat she should open up to Ilija about her own past to make the playing field more even. But she didn't feel it was the right time. She smiled at his answer. "Life can be that simple, if you desired it to truly be so," she answered in her usual aloof tone. His feelings were merely momentary. He felt that way now, but eventually they would change and he would want to have the phone once again.

"Unfortunately I think it's too late," she started to answer with an exaggerated sigh. "He's spent too much time around circus performers. They found it fun to teach him every insult or curse they could think of." Thankfully she'd at least broken the creature's habit of swearing every other word.

There was a small silence as they walked. Just as they reached the clearing before the cave, where she housed her horses and did some gardening, he spoke again. Only this time it caused her to stop midstep to look back at him. Her eyes had softened at his words. She had never met Ilija's father, but Hannah had and by having Hannah's memories she could recall those meetings. The man who owned the ice cream shop. Those memories made her think that Ilija had been close with his father. She didn't respond immediately with the words he was probably expecting. Because his words had made her realize the typical response to loss was inappropriate. "You're welcome to stay as long as you need," she finally answered. AS long as he needed to cope with his loss, she meant. She knew what it was like to lose a parent. Her loss and his were quite different, but they were also similar.

She stepped to the side, and motioned him forward, so that he could step off the narrow trail and into the small clearing which she considered her "front yard". "I'm learning," she answered. Those that knew her.... afflictions found them quite intense. While others had found ways to remove afflictions from the island Eeva never had. Hadn't even bothered. Despite how difficult her afflictions were, she'd rather learn to live with and accept them then get rid of them.

[Deleted]

He shook his head slightly as she claimed life could truly be that simple. "If I were able to actually cast a patronus it would make things a lot easier to start off with...." He mused for a moment as he considered his answer. "But even then my sister couldn't send one back with an answer or learn to do so and if I can't be there for her in a heartbeat in case of trouble I don't think I'd forgive myself. Up to some point my desire to own a phone comes from the need to be connected to those that matter most. I can't throw that away, although I'd easily lie to people in claiming I don't have a number I guess. I prefer it to be for emergencies. All this texting stuff is just... beyond me. Oldfashioned owls are fine and they do require one to put a lot more thought into their messages." Ilija said with a shrug. "But at least I know my sister is currently in good hands so I can disappear off the grit for a little while. If my brother needs me I think he'll manage to get a message through somehow. Should something unexpected happen, I expect that I'll hear about it at least." He said, knowing Rhys could always get a message to him if Vas needed his help.

It seemed to be too late for the Jarvey, from what Eeva told him. It seemed circus performers had foul mouths when they wanted so the creature had an entire library available to him. Not that Ilija minded. Insults were not exactly something that bothered him all too much when they came from a source that was known for them. Not to mention that it seemed that Jarveys considered them a very normal form of communication, so who was he to judge their language and in a roundabout way, their culture? If they actually have a culture of sorts. Not that he intended to focus too much on the interactions of Jarveys with their own kind or others.

She said he was welcome to stay as long as he needed, which he appreciated a lot. He merely nodded to let her know he heard, as there wasn't much to add outside of that. She knew he wasn't a man of any words, or at least not these days. The old version of him hadn't exactly been chatty but he'd certainly talked a lot more back then. She said she was learning in terms of her afflictions and he once again found himself nodding ever so slightly. "It's a lot to take in. I still don't really understand what is going on with me and I guess that isn't too extreme." Well, not compared to her. He'd mostly noticed that his grief had resurfaced again, but it wasn't all that strange considering the fact she had the memories of the woman he'd once been so deeply in love with. "Though I'll admit that the more I feel like I'm trying to move on, the more the memories seem to haunt me. It's almost like I don't believe I deserve to move on yet, like it's too soon. Pretty sure that is about a stone's throw from crazy though." He admitted with a shrug. At times it was hard to say what was crazy and what was some sort of normal due to his peculiar circumstances. It all blended together far too much.

@eeva

[Deleted]

April 15, 2026
@ilija

Eeva thought as he mentioned being able to cast a patronus. While not a common form of communication, skilled casters of the patronus could use it to communicate if desired. Though the spell itself wasn't easy to begin with. It wasn't that it was a difficult spell because it was complex. It was a rather simple spell, actually. What made it complicated was the fact that it required an intensely powerful happy memory and it was often trial and error to find the right memory. Finally Eeva just shrugged. "I can't cast one either." she stated simply. She'd never told Ilija much about her past besides being a druid from finland. But she'd never t ried to pretend her past was a happy one, he'd just simply never asked. As he mentioned his sister though she tilted her head, once again drawing on the memories of Hannah. Sister... ah, right. Ilija had a younger sister that was a squib.

Though Ilija didn't stop there, going on to elaborate his need to be able to contact those important to him, and stay connected. It was strange to hear, as Hannah's memories of Ilija was of a man who had no trouble staying connected with those closest to him. But Eeva's own memories of Ilija were a man who hid himself. She knew the events that must have led to this extreme shift in his personality, but it was still unusual to see but also pleasant. Because it meant the Ilija before her wasn't the Ilija of Hannah's memories, and she could still get to know him without knowing everything already. She tilted her head, an amused smile touching her lips as he explained his dislike for texting, then went on to explain his sister and brother. "I have a sneaking suspicion you didn't tell either of them where you were going," she answered, sounding just as mildly amused as she looked. Not that it was necessarily a bad thing. She'd met his brother once, but not the sister.

Everyone coped with loss differently, but in this moment? Eeva could see a bit of herself in Ilija. That need to get away from the pain, to get away from the mourning of others. To get away from the pity and apologies. Their method of coping must be quite similar. And as he nodded her eyes half closed, a soft understanding in those warm brown eyes of hers.. Before she looked away and towards her humble home in the rocks.

She clasped her hands behind her back as she took several steps into the clearing, the sun peaking through to cast a warm glow. She listened as he explained. Being haunted by memories, not deserving to move on. She tilted her head up and closed her eyes, letting the sun warm her face for a moment. "Perhaps the memories are not haunting you, but you are haunting them," she finally spoke softly. She lowered her head and opened her eyes, turning to peer over her shoulder at him. "If you don't believe you deserve something, then you will never get it. While 'moving on' is a difficult and long path, if you choose to believe you can't move on then you never will." She mused thoughtfully, pausing as she turned her head away from him to eye the small garden patch in front of her home. "But who's to say what moving on even means. No one's ever been able to answer me that, as everyone seemed to believe it means something different." There was a sadness in her words that pleaded for the answer to her own questions but with a resignation that it would never come. "What does moving on mean to you, Ilija?" She was curious what answer he might give. A man who'd experienced such trauma and despair. And yet still standing, broken but not gone.

She unclasped her hands and turned back to face Ilija motioning him forward. "The shed over there is where my animals stay." She motioned with her head to the structure to the side of the cave with barn doors. The doors were open and movement and sounds could be heard from within, but none of the animals seemed keen on coming out. "Come, let me show you inside." She reached for the door of the cave, opening it and motion him inside first. The lights of the cave were, obviously, not electric but their enchantments made them flicker on as they detected movement in the cave.

[Deleted]

Ilija had tried to cast a patronus in the past. He'd tried and with Hannah, he'd been able to get a bit of a faux-patronus. Never a full body and well, he'd never really needed one. These days he knew that he could most certainly use one, but was completely unable to muster enough happiness to get even the faintest bit of light to sprout from his wand if he tried. She mentioned she couldn't conjure one either and he certainly wasn't going to question her on it. It could be simply that she had never learned but it could just as easily mean that she hadn't found the right memories or that the stories in her past brought her as much pain as his own did to him. It wasn't something he'd ask her to share, even if he'd be very open to hearing if she wanted to share.

Eeva was very right in his not having shared where he was going with his siblings and he simply shrugged. "It didn't seem to relevant. They probably presume me to be with Carmen, which hopefully means they'll leave me alone." He said with the ghost of a smile pushing onto his lips. It was almost funny how much his family seemed to be investing in him having a new relationship, even more so than he himself was. It was in part that which he hoped to escape. The fame had started showing some downsides as questions slowly started to filter in about who he was and what his business was in dating a superstar. It certainly wasn't for the money as he really could not care less. He had far more than he spent from living with barely any expenses for quite a while and selling his house without having bought a new place to live. He knew he needed to change that, but for now he was more than satisfied crashin on Teddy's couch. What on earth did he need a bed for when he couldn't even manage to sleep in one?

She suggested that he was haunting the memories rather than the other way around and he fell into quiet introspection for a moment, the rest of her words hardly registering to his mind as he contemplated the idea. Maybe he was holding on to the memories so strongly because it felt like they were all he had left of Hannah. Yet rather than fondness he treated them as if they were sharp and hot and out to hurt them. Like carelessly plunging his arms into shards of glass when it was easy enough to avoid the sharp parts if one just treated them gently and looked at the smooth surfaces rather than the edges. His hands twitched for a moment as he vaguely imagined reaching into that dark depth and pulling out a glass shard ever so carefully, turning it around in his mind. As the eye of his mind fell on his imaginary shard he saw it was a broken coffee mug. One with so many memories, as Hannah had always used that specific mug for hot chocolate on bad days. Rather than clench his fist around the memories and running it red with the blood and pain, he kept it loosely in his grip, turning it over slowly and seeing the faint stain the countless uses had left on the porcelain. Maybe she was right, and he was the one that didn't allow himself to move in. In his heart, he knew Hannah would hate that he isolated himself. It had been six years, by now she'd chide him ever so gently for not picking up the shards and putting them away in a memory box but choosing to walk in that room bare feet every single day. Her question came in as the smile on Hannah's face faded from his mind, giving way to her face. The exact same face, despite the subtle differences to them.

What moving on meant? He blinked a few times and looked down for a moment and then around him before he let out a nearly confused breath. "Building a life, rather than just existing. Building a new life, I guess, but not on a foundation of guilt for the fact I am capable of doing so to begin with. I don't think that Hannah would have wanted me to be miserable forever since she loved me. I just wish she could have reassured me that there was nothing I could have done to save her. It hurts me every day to think that she died and I lived. I wouldn't wish my fate on anybody, least of all her, but it feels like she was stronger and would have dealt with it much better." He'd always depended on her, without admitting it. Her laughter brought him joy and no matter how tough the day got, it always had felt worth it when she smiled at him and kissed him. Holding her in his arms had been a dream that had never felt quite real. He hadn't been able to quite believe that somebody like her would choose a boy like him but she'd never given him any reason to believe or think her love wasn't as deep as his own. He saw his feelings for her mirrored in her eyes, but for him. It was a very hard thing to let go of. But if he never did, he'd never find anything remotely like it again. A true and genuine love that he felt without guilt and one he was capable of returning. More than fondness and caring and enjoying the company of another.

She then led him to the door and invited him in. He quickly glanced at his arms to check if he spotted any bugs on himself before quickly stepping in. He looked around and was stunned at the sight. It felt oddly exotic and homely, but he liked that. She had a very clear style of decorating and it brought an instant smile to his face. "It looks really good." He said calmly as his eyes slid past the various surfaces. It was interesting to see how she'd made such a peculiar place into a home. Unexpected, but all in a good way. "Did it take long to build?" He asked curiously.

@eeva

[Deleted]

April 15, 2026
@ilija

Eeva personally didn't understand why so many witches and wizards thought the ability to cast a patrons somehow proved if you were, or weren't a powerful caster. There were many powerful witches and wizards that couldn't cast one. Even more so, in current times the patronus wasn't exactly a common spell to ever need. It had a very specific use that held little value in times of peace. Eeva didn't even know anyone that had used the patronus charm for it's actual purpose in the last several years. Though, as Ilija had mentioned it's ability to be used for communication (though that was most definitely not it's purpose), she supposed it still had some use in the modern era....

Ilija mentioned that he hadn't told his family where he was going, and then something about "Carmen". Did Eeva know a Carmen? She thought for a moment, unsure if Ilija had ever mentioned the name to her before. Finally though, she came to the decision that this Carmen must be someone he spent a bit of time with, considering his family would assume he was with them. "Well, running away to a cave in a forest happens to be a very good way to be left alone," she answered with a shadow of a smile. He'd chosen right in reaching out to her if he wanted to be "left alone". Eeva was a rather solitary person by nature, but she'd come to learn that she didn't mind Ilija's company. Simply coexisting in the same space as him didn't seem bad, in fact she might appreciate the human company a little. Likewise, he could seek as much solitude as he wanted with the option of conversation should he ever want it.

It seemed her words had struck a cord and Ilija was silent for a long moment, mulling over her words. She could practically see the wheels turning as he processed it. Then, he seemed to come to his decision, and she could see in his eyes how he seemed to return to reality, as if he hadn't even seen her until that moment. As he breathed she smirked, amused by the sound. He went on to explain and that look didn't fade. Mild amusement as he explained what moving on meant to him. His words seemed to hit close to home. They truly were quite similar in their grief, it seemed. Both of them seemed to be stuck in the "just existing" portion of that description.

Though, soon his words turned to Hannah. An awkward subject between them, considering Hannah's memories her buried in her own mind. She couldn't know Hannah's thoughts that were never vocalized, but that didn't mean Eeva didn't know how Hannah had felt. memories were a powerful tool in conveying emotions, she'd come to understand. "There was nothing you could have done, Ilija," she answered softly. She wasn't Hannah, but it was probably the closest he'd ever get to a reassurance. But past that... she didn't try to comfort or reassure him. Despite having Hannah's memories and looking eerily similar, that was where the similarities ended. She could never give Ilija all the answered he wanted. But the warm look in her eyes and soft smile seemed to tell him that if he ever did had any questions she'd try to answer them. If he ever felt ready to ask the questions, that is. He'd never asked her about Hannah's memories past what was needed to understand the situation.

Eeva didn't feel like she really had a style in terms of decorating. She'd just gotten anything she'd liked the look of and made it work in the space. Though she had tried to find brighter colors, since caves could be quite dark. "Not especially, only a few weeks. It was a naturally formed cave, all I had to do was hollow it out a bit more." She hadn't been in any rush to finish it, either. She motioned to a folded up cot she'd slid behind the couch, a few folded blankets and pillows stacked next to it. "For you, or if you prefer the couch, that's an option." She closed the door behind them, and started the "tour". She motioned with her hand to the left, the archway that led to her own room. "That's my room back there. To the right is the kitchen. It might be a bit different to what you used to, but hopefully it works. then down the chamber is a bathroom. There's a stairwell that leads to a natural spring." In general the cave was quite... druidic. No power, the running water being from a natural spring. It lacked all modern amenities, but it stilled functioned for comfortable living. "Make yourself at home. You're welcome to use anything you want, you don't need to ask." Eeva paused, trying to think if she was missing anything. "It can get quite cold, especially in the evenings, so you're welcome to have a fire going whenever you'd like."

[Deleted]

Ilija knew that his family probably wouldn't actually bother him while he was away for the weekend, but he was in such a desperate need for a break and an escape that he couldn't take the risk. There was so much going on in his life that made no sense at all that he needed this moment of peace to let his mind settle before he dove right back into all the chaos again. He needed a reprieve and despite how confused his mind got around Eeva, he couldn't imagine a better way to just forget about all his worries for a moment. Something about her was simply soothing to him, and the only conflicting thing about that was that he couldn't tell if it was her or the fact she looked like Hannah and had her memories. At least they were both extremely confused about that part, which meant they managed a mutual understanding. They would acknowlodge it if needed but they were both fine leaving it be until they were both ready to actually explore that mess.

She said that running away to a cave in a forest was a really good way to be left alone and he had the feeling she was right. He couldn't imagine people being able to find this place, let alone bother them for meaningless things. He deemed it highly unlikely she'd ever had to deal with any sort of door to door salesperson ever. Wizarding or muggle, he didn't think any of them would manage to find their way here. At least she didn't have to worry about the postman as owls were a lot smarter than people were on that point. It made the mail delivery in the magical world a whole lot easier. They always managed to find you or your house. Plus he'd never heard of mail getting lost, except if people needed it to get lost. Owl interceptions.

He'd always imagined that he'd have to live out the rest of his life in doubt about Hannah's final moments. To know she had the memories was like a splinter in his eye, but as long as he left it alone he could ignore it. The moment he started paying attention it was sore and became the center of his field of vision in a messed up way. It blinded him to the rest of the world as he was torn between asking her all sorts of questions and leaving the no doubt horribly painful memories alone. He couldn't ask her to relive those moments for his sake, as he himself couldn't even manage to deal with them. How she coped was beyond him. He bit his lip a moment as she answered the question he had never meant to actually ask her. It only made him appreciate the fact she'd answered him more. He looked at her, the pain coarsing through his veins like the fire that had consumed her. "I think I knew, but thank you for telling me." He told her, gently taking her hands in his own as a sign of gratitude. He'd never be able to properly repay her for that tiny bit of information. No matter what he did, he owed her his peace of mind now. The best and worst part of that was that he had the feeling she'd never ask for anything in return.

The interior of the cave was decorated in a very interesting and peculiar style. Or maybe it wasn't so much a style in terms of conscious choices as a very odd way that showed everything she liked without it being matched for the sake of looking ideal. This was her home and it wasn't there to show off, which he kind of liked. It had something rather cute to it and very personal. He smiled as he took in the room around him as she told him about the work she'd put into it. A natural cave she'd hollowed out a little more. It sounded like a very beautiful way to take something that was there and make it suited to living for her. For some reason, he thought it sounded very druidish to him. She offered him the choice between the couch and the cot next and for some reason he felt insanely relieved. "I'll take the couch. I haven't really slept in a bed in years, except by a rare few exceptions." He admitted. Christmas eve with Carmen had been one of those very rare situations and it hadn't been too horrible but well, he had a feeling it had to do with other things as well. Things that most certainly were not going to happen here. For starters, he was dating Carmen now and as if that alone wasn't enough, he didn't want to complicate things between him and Eeva even more by adding... those activities to their history.

She described where the rest of the rooms and utilities were located and he nodded, attempting to memorise them in case he needed any of them later on. He mostly nodded mutely as he tried to memorise the layout. It wasn't extremely difficult for him, as he did it more often when he was navigating a tomb but well, this was a far more pleasant place to memorise. He certainly hoped he'd be able to return here more often, as the atmosphere of the place itself already was relaxing and the natural spring? Well that sounded very appealing. He looked at her with a slight smile as she mentioned that. "You should have warned me about that in advance. I'd have taken my swimming trunks and we could have sat in there together for a while." He said with a slight chuckle. He was a modest enough guy after all, even if that wasn't needed around Eeva due to her heritage. He still wanted to be respectful of her and whatever boundaries she might have. Not to mention he would feel just a tiny bit awkward being naked around her. Then again....

His face went red as he realised that Hannah's memories meant she'd most certainly seen him without all of his clothes in there before if she'd accidentally peeked at any of those memories. How had that realisation never hit him before? He shook his head and nodded quickly at a mention of fire. "I am currenly quite warm enough." He said with a bit of an awkward laugh. "I'm so sorry, I just realised with Hannah's memories... You know..." He didn't really want to say it out loud. "I'll go unpack." He said abruptly and tossed his duffle on the sofa, pulling out some clothes to put them on a nearby shelf so he had easy access to them. While they hadn't had this in mind as a very long trip, he had wanted to make sure he came prepared.

@eeva

[Deleted]

April 15, 2026
@ilija

It wasn't that Eeva necessarily hated people. She just... disliked most of them (though she didn't treat people differently or come off and standoffish to others). She found the presence of creatures far more enjoyable then humanity. Living in a cave in a forest seemed ideal for exactly that mindset. People could get here, should she invite them. But it wasn't easy to find on your own. That and if she truly wanted to ensure no human disturbance she could very easily enchant the forest to confuse trespassers and turn them around. It was an easy enough spell, once you got the hang of it. It was also a very common one for druids to use, as it held significance to her heritage. Druids had been heavily persecuted, adn they'd used the spell, and others like it, to protect themselves from unwanted attention.

Eeva wasn't sure how she'd expected Ilija to react to her words. She could see the emotions in his eyes. The pain he was feeling but also... a level of relief. He took her hands as he spoke, admitting that he had known and thanking her. Eeva smiled and squeezed his hands just a little. "It's easier to accept things you already know when you hear it from someone else," she answered simply. She didn't need his thanks or gratitude for something like that. All she'd done was nudged him in the right direction, so to speak.

There wasn't much to the "home tour" the cave wasn't large or glamourous after all. Only a few rooms, enough to suit her needs. Ilija was the first person she'd even agreed to let stay here, as she'd never considered allowing overnight guests before. But yet, it'd felt right. She'd just had a feeling, when he asked, that she should say yes. She didn't regret the decision. In fact, she was quite interested to see how Ilija might entertain himself during his stay. As he focused on the spring she smiled. She'd been quite happy with the find as well. It was why she'd chosen this cave for the base of her home. When you found a natural water source you should take advantage of it. Though, his mentioning it being a shame he hadn't brought swimming trunk made her cock her head to the side, almost like a bird. Her expression was very easy to read. She did not understand how that posed a problem. "It's a spring, not a pool. Why would you need those?" she asked simply. Being from Finland, a very (VERY) popular sauna destination... Well, it wasn't exactly uncommon to not wear anything in a sauna.

Her confusion only seemed to mount as his cheeks turned rosy. Her eyebrows raised. Her memories, or rather Hannah's, told her that he was definitely feeling embarrassed about something. It was an expression she recognized immediately. Which only seemed to confuse Eeva even more. Still in utter confusion, she nodded as he spoke. "Well, it won't remain so. Caves maintain temperature very well. So once the sun sets it will get very cold, and stay cold. So, if you need anything, you can let me know." She had plenty of warm, fur blankets after all. Though, when Ilija spoke again, suddenly his embarrassment became clear.

Ilija came across as someone very confident. Standoffish, at times, but confident. So realizing how bashful he was feeling about the fact that she had Hannah's memories, and thus had memories of him, was... well adorable. Eeva started to smile. It was a genuine one, the one you could see in a person's eyes. "You really are quite shy, aren't you?" she asked, a hint of amusement in her voice. Though she supposed he did have a reason to feel a bit... embarrassed. Though she tried not to think about it, having Hannah's memories meant she had all of Hannah's memories. Including extremely intimate ones. Ilija seemed determined to change the subject though and Eeva chuckled, still highly amused by his bashfulness. She chose to leave it at that though, unless he wanted to keep discussing the fact that she had memories of him and his wife's intimate moments. "I'll leave you to it," she answered, moving to leave the cave. "I'll be just outside in the garden if you need me," she added, before stepping through the door way. Not to far from the cave entrance was a small garden patch. IT wasn't anything fancy but it suited her needs. Just a few vegetables and herbs growing for her use.

(Want to time jump us? later that day, or next morning where she can give him that seed!)

[Deleted]

She made a good point as she said that it made a lot easier to accept things if you already knew they were true. It just took another person to say them to you in order for you mind to be able to fully wrap around them. He'd have trusted Hannah in seconds if she'd been able to tell him but she hadn't been. Yet it was her view, more than that of anybody else, that he had wanted to know all these years. While it wasn't quite the same as it would have been if Hannah had given him that piece of mind he was certain that Eeva would have given her honest and objective opinion on the situations she'd seen from Hannah's eyes. Considering they were in this mess together up to some point it was good to know that she at least didn't hold his past against him. It was very good to be able to be around her and not be burdened to need to share his past, because she already knew everything she needed to know. That darkness that spanned the time between Hannah's death and his return to the UK was not something that he imagined ever wanting to talk about or share. That was irrelevant, as he didn't quite see it as part of his life. It was just part of his existance.

As he mentioned swimming trunks and the spring her words made him feel even more self conscious. Why would he need them? Because decency? It was yet another one of those things that highlighted that no matter how much Eeva looked like Hannah, they were not at all the same person. Hannah might even have blushed at the idea of going in completely without clothes and on the other hand there was Eeva, wondering why anybody would need a swimsuit to dip into the spring. He opened his mouth to reply but closed it just as quickly, realising that there wasn't much point. The only reason you needed them in a pool was for decency anyway. If they just didn't go together there surely wouldn't be any sort of problem. He would have enjoyed sharing that spring with her but well, it wouldn't be proper or decent to do so, even if there wasn't really anything that was truly..... impossible about it. It just didn't sit right with him to just expose himself to her like that. He was raised a decent and proper gentleman. Not really ashamed of his body but well, not the type to show it off either, even less so with the leg.

At first she didn't seem to catch on at all, which almost was a relief, except for the tiny little detail that it made him feel more awkward about the fact he'd bothered to mention it. Maybe if he'd kept his mouth shut it all would have been fine, he'd just have been a bit red. Now he felt awkward and quite a bit overheated and exposed, despite having all his clothes on his body. He felt as though he might as well not have had them, as she'd seen everything under them that was fully organic at least once, or had access to the imagery if nothing else. He'd never before considered just how incredibly awkward that part of her having those memories would be. He didn't want to dwell on it but it was incredibly difficult to focus his mind on anything else at the moment. Luckily she wasn't a legilimens or this would have been even worse. He might have died of embarressment in that case. If he kept feeling this awkward there was no amount of cold that could make him feel less heated though. He hadn't really thought much about those activities until it sort of accidentally happened with Carmen and now Eeva was bringing back his memories of Hannah in ways that really flustered him.

Naturally she figured it out. The fact he called her shy only made him want to bury himself and never come back up again more. He was normally very relaxed and rarely cared much about the perception other people had of him. It was mostly because he already knew what it was most likely to be and that easily included things like pity, while he didn't feel he needed that. He'd discarded the concern for what other people thought after the accident and had never cared that deeply before anyway. It could easily have him come across as arrogant or aloof but due to his more humble state of mind people usually presumed him confident. They probably were not really wrong. "About this stuff? A bit...." He admitted in a slightly pained voice. Her amusment at his suffering was... quite something. It was probably better not to pay too much attention to how it made him feel, as that couldn't be healthy.

She left not long after and he was left to his own devices for a while to unpack, which helped him calm down to the point he no longer felt like every inch of his skin was on fire and melting. It was something to be able to calm down. She was out in the garden for at least a while so he got his things up in shelves and prepared the sofa to the point he knew he could fall asleep on it if needed. At that point Eeva hadn't come back yet, but that was fine by him. She had her own stuff to do, so he went down to check out the spring she'd mentioned.

He only peeked his head outside to inform her he was going to be in the spring so she wouldn't accidentally walk in on him bathing, which would make his embarrassment far worse. The soak did him well, even if he took his leg off in order to fully relax. Reattaching it was a pain but well, sometimes it was much nicer to just be himself and accept his losses for what they were. That included the loss of his leg, no matter how painful and uncomfortable that was to face at times. He got around an still managed to do his job, which was really all that mattered. He got up after a while and dried off, attached his leg, got dressed and went back up again. He poked his head through the door again. "I'm back out again. Would you like me to start with dinner or help out?" He obviously wasn't much of a chef and more of a 'throw food into a pan and hot is good enough' type of cook but he wanted to unburden Eeva while she was doing him the favour of letting him hide out in her home for a while. It was the least he could do in his mind. "Maybe after dinner we do something together? Although I don't have a lot of suggestions currently." He said, wanting to get to know her better. Hopefully this would be a good opportunity.

@eeva

[Deleted]

April 15, 2026
@ilija

Ilija didn't respond to her confusion of why you'd need swim trunks. It looked like he might, his mouth opening before closing. Eeva still didn't understand his point, as he hadn't really... explained it. She raised an eyebrow. After a moment though, realization struck. Oh! When she realized what he must be getting at, it seemed quite silly. Eeva softly chuckled. "Ilija, I'm from Finland," she explained, hoping he'd understand her meaning. But just to be sure... "There are many saunas. Where clothing is optional." In a nuttshell? Public bathhouses (she included saunas in that group) were a space were nudity was extremely common and no one thought it strange. It was very normal. There wasn't anything sexual about it.

Eeva was enjoying his reaction to realizing she had those memories. Ilija wasn't one that got riled up easily, she'd come to understand. He was quite stoic and composed. Seeing that he could get embarrased was.. well cute. There were a few reasons why she wasn't really embarrassed herself about it. But in major part? The Ilija in front of her was very different from the Ilija of those memories. He'd changed, grown, matured. While she knew he was the same man, she didn't know that side of him. She only knew the version of Ilija in front of her. The one in the memories was "Hannah's Ilija". But also... again, the human body wasn't really something that embarrassing for her. Though, considering how much she was squirming she knew she shouldn't push him too hard. So, she just smiled some more as he admitted it, before deciding to let the topic die so he could compose himself.

Eeva gave him a nodd as he told her he'd go to the spring, acknowling his comment before getting to work on her garden. It was still barely budding, the plants only a few inches in height, at most. But it made her happy to have some place more permanent to grow something like this. She'd been very nomadic since leaving Finland, after all. Just going where the wind (or circus) took her without any care. But now? Well, it was... nice. A place her own. A place to always come back to. A place where she could grow her own little garden.

Though, due to it's current size, there wasn't much work to do. She didn't feel like going in yet though. After all, whiel the cave was technically her house she considered the whole area as her home. She lay down under a tree, closing her eyes and just enjoying the spring afternoon. As she lay there her jarvey came bounding over, chirping happily. She smiled, listening to the creature as it played with her hair.

She must have dozed for a few minutes. Soon, she heard Ilija's voice, asking about dinner. "Hmmm... It's that time, isn't it?" she mused thoughtfully, still laying on the grass with her eyes closed. The Jarvey had also settled down on her stomach, sleeping himself. "Anything you don't like?" she asked curiously. She tried not to rely on Hannah's memories for things like this, preferring to learn them herself. though, as to what htey could do... Eeva opened her eyes, thinking. "What do you like to do in your down time?" Perhaps that might give them some ideas of what they could do.

[Deleted]

Eeva reminded him that she was from Finland, the land were Saunas were very common and clothing was optional. To him the idea was strange and quite intimidating but well, cultural differences. He didn't really mind much, as it made him understand that even if she were to see his body it didn't have to be drawn out of context immediately. His embarressment would probably take care of that at some point as he didn't want to accidentally glimpse at her while undressed. He was pretty sure he'd never be able to forget that visual. He wasn't exactly experiences as his current experience spanned a total of two woman. Hannah and Carmen. He hadn't seen anyone else without clothes that he could remember. Or if he did they'd been men and he hadn't actually looked.

He'd called out to Eeva for dinner, his hair still slightly damp from his brief visit to the spring. He patiently waited, stepping outside the door in order to close it so creatures could accidentally creap in. He shrugged as she asked if there was anything he didn't like. "I think I got cursed in one of the tombs because I have no sense of taste. I'm good as long as it's nutricious." It was only half a lie, as he was pretty sure he wasn't actually cursed but the result was the same. It felt kind of relieving to admit it to somebody. He didn't really want to take the joy out of cooking for other people so he usually kept quiet and let people do their thing. He didn't know why, but so far Eeva did so many things differently from anybody he knew that he felt that she was quite a bit more adaptable than most to his various quirks.

Then she asked what he liked to do in his down time and he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck a moment. "I don't really have many hobbies. I usually work most of the day and when the work is done I force some food down my throat. Sometimes I read a bit or do some exercizes and then I go to sleep." He said with a shrug. He'd spent a lot of time just sitting and watching time float by, but recently he'd been taking better care of himself, so he'd taken up excersize to stay fit. Not to mention it got his siblings to get a lot more quiet as it had improved his physique quite significantly. The downside was that it drew attention. Ilija wasn't particularly comfortable being flirted with. "What do you like to do?" He asked curiously, as he figured that the care of her creatures took some time, but not quite so much that she didn't have time left to herself. Maybe they could do something she enjoyed and see if he liked it too....

@eeva

[Deleted]

April 15, 2026
@ilija

Eeva wasn't really a foodie. She didn't think she ate poorly though, or that she was a bad cook. It just wasn't a high priority to her. Especially of late where. Ever since the she started to hear the thoughts of creatures she'd found it quite... difficult to eat meat or fish. Hearing the dying thoughts of creatures would change anyone's mind about eating them, after all. Eeva sat up just a little, still mostly laying down but at least propped up a bit on her elbows so she could look in Ilija's direction. "You don't mind something vegetarian, do you?" she asked. No doubt he'd understand why quickly, since he knew her affinity with creatures well enough. She knew she had everything needed for a simple vegetable soup, and she'd baked a loaf of bread early that morning. Perhaps that'd be the best option.

Eeva smiled as he sheepishly explained his lack of hobbies. A part of her wasn't surprise. Though that didn't help decide on what to do after dinner. "Well, I have plenty of books if that's what you'd prefer," she offered. Though, she had another idea in mind when he asked about what she liked to do. "Have you ever ridden a magical horse before?" She personally owned three, after all. There were the two Abraxan troublemakers (while young, they were big enough to ride), and then her Granian. The weather was also ideal for some flying. If he was interested.