we fell in love in october | raphael

[addilyn elara slater]

looking at the stars

admiring from afar

March 20, 2026
Raphael Caelan McLaggen

Addy walked and scrolled through her phone at the same time. Every now and then, she would glance up and make sure she wasn’t colliding with anyone, though there were a few close calls. The fair had been eventful. The first place she’d stopped the previous day had been the table for the Artifacts and Development Department. Ever since the year had started, she’d committed herself to achieve the highest grades possible, and over time she’d realized more and more that this is what she was going to do after she graduated. While in a perfect world, she would follow dutifully in her sister’s footsteps

But, she’d taken Claire’s advice. Addy had, in fact, applied for the Auror training program, privately, of course—no need to get her mother’s hopes up. As well as a few other positions, but her top choice was obvious. She supposed she had her brother to thank for her current situation—the pressure on the youngest Slater was not as tremendous as the weight her siblings had carried. Addy glanced back behind her, the last table she’d meant to visit—as a formality. The Department of Magical Law Enforcement, the Aurors. The Department Head was walking up to the table, she seemed younger than the other Department heads, but by the expression on her face, Addy doubted anyone said that to her face.

When she turned back around, she very nearly collided with a tall figure, and Addy opened her mouth to speak, but she didn’t say anything. This particular tall and lanky figure she had not been expecting—in fact, she’d been mildly avoiding him. ”I um—sorry—oh.” By some miracle, Brigh hadn’t noticed their awkwardness since the previous weekend. Perhaps it was the excitement of the fair and their business between homework, Quidditch practice, and club activities as well as Phoenix Rising. ”Hey—um—did you end up finding Grey?” Running away would have been too obvious, so Addy figured some small talk would be alright, and she could find another Ministry Department to talk to.

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[Raphael Caelan McLaggen]

20 March 2026

For the first time in months…Raphael finally felt more secure about his future. He still didn’t have all the answers, nowhere near that, but the burning ball of stress he carried around in his chest had shrunk – first after his conversation with Yas over winter break, and then after discussing what it was like to work at the Daily Prophet with Grey yesterday. It was beginning to look like a legitimate career path for Rafe, which was a relief because until approximately 24 hours ago he hadn’t been able to imagine what his life after Hogwarts would look like. It was almost enough to make him want to find Jimmie and thank her for forcing him to join the school paper earlier this school year…except he wasn’t that desperate. Jimmie never needed to know that she’d done him such a big favor, because then she might be tempted to boss him around more often. Merlin knows he didn’t need any more of that. But maybe some thank-you cookies – he could recruit Penelope later.

His success yesterday took the edge off day two of the career fair, and Rafe walked curiously around the different booths. He stopped for a few minutes to chat with a potioneer from Slug and Jigger’s Apothecary – her smile didn’t falter when Rafe had accidentally let slip in the first sixty seconds that he found Potions boring, and the rest of their conversation had still been polite after that. A few questions about his seventh year at Hogwarts, one brief exchange over the usefulness of mint in healing potions (he’d take her word for it), and then she’d been distracted by the other potioneer at her booth and Rafe had slipped away. He only stopped one more time to ask a few questions to the pro Quidditch players milling around on one side of the room. He wasn’t interested in going pro at all, but he figured his dad would kill him if he didn’t at least ask about it.

Rafe was just wondering what to do next as he walked away from a Beater showing off their weathered bat when he nearly collided with another student. He didn’t get the chance to apologize since she immediately began to, and he stared at Addy in disbelief. It was incredibly unusual for her to sound so unsure – really, it sounded like his words coming out of her mouth – and Rafe said something intelligent in response like, “Erm…yeah.” He didn’t know what to say to her after this last week of radio silence. They’d been doing so well at this whole ‘friends’ thing the last couple months – finding their old dynamic (or something close to it), learning how to be casual around each other again. And then they’d gone and ruined it last week! Although in complete honesty, Rafe couldn’t be upset that it had happened. He’d stopped denying this pesky crush on Addy months ago, and he’d already admitted to Brígh that he wanted more. But Addy had been avoiding him since then, and that upset him. They needed to talk about it, clearly, and Addy was avoiding the subject, clearly. So if she was playing his usual role, he supposed he would have to try something new too. “Yeah, I did. Thanks for the idea, it was really helpful.” Before she could interrupt with more small talk, Rafe steeled his nerves and asked, “Um, can we talk, please? Like, really talk?”

addilyn elara slater

[addilyn elara slater]

looking at the stars

admiring from afar

March 20, 2026
Raphael Caelan McLaggen

It took Addy a moment, though a very long moment, to gather herself. And she straightened up, standing as tall as her small frame would allow. This was not the place to appear unsure and indecisive. Important decisions were being made at this career fair—and those were more important than any other thoughts she couldn’t stop from crossing her mind. Despite all the time they’d spent together over the previous year in relatively close proximity, she somehow still hadn’t adjusted to Cheese’s height. He was about a full foot taller than here, where at one point, she hadn’t had to crane her neck so much to look at him. Cheese responded that he had been able to talk to Grey, and Addy made a mental note to speak to her brother soon, wanting to ensure whatever advice given was good.

Not that she didn’t trust her brother, she did even if they approached life in different ways, but she was also curious of his impression of one of her best friends. ”Good. I hope he was helpful and answered your questions.” At least that’s what they were supposed to be. Addy managed to suppress the blush that threatened to appear on her face at the thought of that last time and very recent time. If she wanted to be utterly unfocused on what was going around them, she could let her mind wander to that memory. But she heard his voice again as he spoke, but a strong and serious tone. One that seemed to be appearing more often these days. Instinctively and even a little defensively, she crossed her arms. ”You want to talk now?” She asked, slightly glancing around at the crowd of students and professionals around them. She could’ve asked about what, but playing dumb was not her style.

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[Raphael Caelan McLaggen]

Talking about Grey was safe, even if it wasn’t the topic Rafe had been waiting to somehow bring up to Addy. He resisted the urge to shove his hands into his pockets and slouch, since that would ruin any aura of calmness or authority that Raphael had slowly been gathering. And, well, the ship had long since sailed on the idea of Addy thinking he was cool, but he could still put himself together when he needed to. For something important. It was all about passion, after all, and while Rafe had a hard time investing in boring things like homework or classes, he could still muster together an authoritative demeanor when it came to something he cared about. Like photography, or finding the perfect shot. And Addy too – she was one of the things he cared most about in his life, and the feeling that they’d reached an important crossroads was enough to prevent him from being the coward he usually was.

“Yeah,” he echoed again as Addy politely answered that she hoped Grey had been helpful. It wasn’t much of a conversation-starter, but Rafe really didn’t want to talk about Grey. He knew Addy was using her brother as an excuse to keep the conversation simple, and she’d probably slink off if he gave her an opening. Besides that, their brief exchange sounded polite and forced, the kind of conversation you’d hear between strangers who didn’t have much to say to the other. He finally gave into the impulse to stuff his hands into the pockets of his robes at that chilling thought, and didn’t flinch as Addy crossed her arms and questioned his desire to talk now. She was shifting into stubborn mode, the immovable force of will that had given her the nickname ‘Mt Addy’ between him and Brígh, so he knew he had to act fast. And really, he was too genuine to be cunning, so his only strategy here would be to tell the truth.

“Now, yeah,” Rafe confirmed, his eyes lowering to the floor before he forced himself to raise them and look straight at Addy again. “I saw you talking to someone yesterday from Artifacts and Development, which is your number one choice, isn’t it?” he reasoned, flushing slightly at the admission that he’d been watching her yesterday. He continued hastily before she could interrupt, “And you were at the Law Enforcement table earlier. Erm, you know, the one with the scary-looking Department Head. You don't really want to be an Auror like Claire, so you must have finished your rounds then.” At this point, Rafe was thinking out-loud, relying more on his knowledge of Addy rather than his poor observation skills. Finally, he took out his final card, in a strategy he hoped Dicky or another Ravenclaw might approve of. “They have butterbeer at the drinks table,” he tempted, unable to stop himself from smiling at his rather obvious move.

addilyn elara slater

[addilyn elara slater]

looking at the stars

admiring from afar

March 20, 2026
Raphael Caelan McLaggen

This conversation felt more awkward than even their first interaction in their first year. Why? Well, Addy knew why but naturally, she was having trouble admitting that to herself, and really this was all she could do to maintain the careful composure she’d always worked so hard to keep up. Talking about her older brother was an easy way to not talk about how’d they’d ended up in the Quidditch locker rooms again—like they used to the previous year. Still, Cheese’s shift in his own composure and physical stance was easy for her to pick up. She always noticed these things about him—even when she wasn’t trying to.

While his towering height made it obvious when he was slouching or sulking, Addy had a tendency to hide behind her crossed arms. It was a way of keeping a distance and something in between them—because apparently, it was an issue to stay apart. But, she couldn't help but let her mind wander to that previous weekend and that she’d actually enjoyed it. She’d had fun. But, also, she hadn’t realized how much she’d missed that side of things, not just because it was physically fun but being that close to him despite the new normalcy of friendship they had tried. When he began to speak, she was brought back to the present. Daydreaming had never been something she made time for, but it tended to happen more and more these days.

She nodded, ”Yes, I’ve applied there as well as a few other departments.” She admitted. Just as her sister had advised her, though she’d actually hesitated to apply for the Auror training program in case her mother caught wind. Cheese may have been many things, but subtle was not one of them—nor had it ever been. It was like Brigh trying to tip-toe anywhere and not make a single noise or knock something over. A part of her wanted to indulge him, but most of her did not. ”I saw when we arrived yesterday.” A simple observation, yet she kept her arms crossed and a wall up. She had to stop thinking about Raphael McLaggen in that way—the less than innocent way and push away what feelings she’d admitted to Brigh she had.

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[Raphael Caelan McLaggen]

So while Rafe liked Addy no matter what she did, there were definitely some forms of her he liked more than others. Like when they were sitting in class, and she was always one of the first with her hand up to deliver a succinct and articulate answer. Or when she absolutely demolished somebody in Wizard chess, face furrowed in intense concentration as she directed her troops in a march towards decisive victory. But especially when she allowed herself to relax and enjoy the moment – whether that was sipping butterbeer by the fire together at the Three Broomsticks, or enjoying the warm weather by the lake in the spring and autumn (with a few textbooks, of course, because this was still Addy they were talking about). Or in the Quidditch locker rooms, but if Rafe lingered on that thought for too long then his face would turn bright red and she would know exactly what he was thinking about.

He wasn’t the biggest fan of being faced down by an Addy with a firm look on her face and arms crossed decisively, because it meant she’d already made up her mind. In this case, he probably wouldn’t like it. But Raphael was not going to accept defeat! Not when it came to something this important, and not when it felt like they were so close to making a real breakthrough. Once again, Addy deflected and brought up the Ministry departments she’d applied to – Artifacts and Development, Law Enforcement, and a few others by the sound of it. Unsurprising, because a Ministry career had always been in the cards for her. The real question was whether she would submit to her parents’ pressure and join Claire in the Auror program, or if she’d pursue her true passion.

Naturally, Rafe had thoughts about the issue, but he wasn’t going to let her get away with changing the subject. If he did, she’d launch into a detailed examination of each department – everything from potential promotions to healthcare benefits – and he would never be able to escape that nightmare. So when she stonily responded that she had noticed the drinks table yesterday, Rafe nodded. “Of course you did, you’re so observant,” he said, eyes crinkling in amusement. Addy was terrible at taking compliments, and he was hoping it might throw her off a little bit. He continued quickly before she could interrupt, “Let’s go get some butterbeers. It’ll give you an opportunity to circle the room again and make sure you didn’t miss anything.” It was unfortunate how much of an influence she’d been these seven years of friendship – he was starting to think about Charms homework during baking sessions and being sensible about career fairs. Yikes. But Rafe gently placed a hand on her lower back – that could still be seen as professional and polite, right? – because he wasn’t sure she would move otherwise. He dropped his hand after a second, mostly to save himself the embarrassment of watching her shrug it off, and walked in silence until they reached the drinks table. Again, because he wasn’t sure she would move on her own, he poured some butterbeer into a cup for her and another for himself, sliding it over. Rafe glanced over at Addy, then decided not to beat around the bush anymore. “You’ve been avoiding me,” he said in an undertone, fiddling with his cup. “I thought we said we wouldn’t do that anymore?”

addilyn elara slater

[addilyn elara slater]

looking at the stars

admiring from afar

March 20, 2026
Raphael Caelan McLaggen

Addy didn’t like to feel awkward or not in some kind of control. Not that every little thing had to go her way or every detail coordinated, but she was a planner, and walking into such unknown territory was not what she had in mind. The longer this thing with Cheese went on, the less in control she felt. Her heart would beat faster in her chest, her stomach would do flips, and sometimes he’d look at her in such a way that just made her freeze. It was her hope that the crowd around them, even if they weren’t paying attention, would discourage him from mentioning the previous weekend. It was just another slip-up, right? That’s all it had been.

There was something in the way he approached. That gentle calmness she’d grown so accustomed to that was so different from herself or Brigh and his persistence when she’d so quickly put her walls up. Sometimes she was secretly envious of her friends’ abilities to just ‘go with the flow’. Even one footstep outside of her intended path could cause anxiety. The small talk was awkward and short, and she shouldn’t have been surprised that he was still standing in front of her. When he responded with a compliment, her eyes glanced up at him and his easy-going expression. But, she was too distracted by the flutter in her chest to respond quickly enough before he began to shepherd her to the table.

Addy didn’t fight it. She’d missed being close to him and had pushed through this past week by focusing on filling out her applications perfectly. Dotting every ‘i’ and crossing every ‘t’ and then completing her homework a week ahead of time while she was at it. She’d needed to make time to plan for the final Quidditch matches coming up, which meant that her Magical Theory assignment needed to be finished quickly. Though Professor Burke knew her well enough by now to know that Addy would never turn an assignment in late. Very quickly, however, she felt his hand drop from the small of her back, and she glanced up quickly back up at him to make sure he was still there. While it wasn’t uncommon for Addy to remain silent at times, biding her time and planning her next move, she really wasn’t sure what to say at this point. Not just the month before, Brigh had guided her mostly out of her denial about her true feelings, and the flip her stomach kept doing only seemed to confirm it.

”Thanks.” She responded, picking up the cup he had just poured. Butterbeer. Her favorite, not that it was a secret to anyone that knew her. But, she paused—taking a slow and deep breath from her spot but not looking back at him yet. Cheese was right. They’d talked about this in January—but she hated being in the wrong. ”I wasn’t avoiding you.” Yes, she was. ”I was finishing assignments for both Professor Burkes and preparing for Quidditch Practice this weekend.” It was true. She had the Pitch booked that Sunday, though early, so the team could still go to the village if they wished. She placed her full cup back on the table. Fortunately, they weren’t blocking anyone at the moment. ”Cheese, what do you want me to say?” She gave him a pleading look. Addy didn’t really know where he stood aside from Brigh’s assumptions despite all their talks and promises this past year. What she did know was that she didn’t want to deal with this while she had other priorities.

”You want to talk? Fine.” Addy crossed her arms again loosely, looking at her friend impatiently. ”Last weekend happened, and I don’t know what to think about it.” She kept her tone as calm as possible despite what she felt, they were in public after all, and she wasn’t intending on making a scene. In fact, she glanced around and noted that while the majority of the crowd was here, there was a hallway that led to other offices that was empty and ignored. ”Wait—let's go over there. I’m not doing this in the middle of a crowd.” She spoke before he could respond. At least it would give her a few extra moments to compose herself.

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[Raphael Caelan McLaggen]

His eyes lingered on her back as they slowly maneuvered through the crowd of people. This back-and-forth with Addy all year had been the most intense test of discipline he had ever faced, because Rafe found that all he wanted was to stay close to her. It was like this magnetic tendency that he barely noticed most days – his camera drifting towards her whenever he started recording, his gaze slipping past the professor to stare at the back of her blonde curls in the few classes they still shared together. It wasn’t even a habit, it was just a way of being at this point. But it proved problematic when he needed to be respectful and keep his distance, or when she was clearly uncomfortable and avoiding his company. It meant he felt her absence more clearly, whether it was a gnawing at his heart or the impulse to glance sideways and share an inside joke – only to realize that she wasn’t there.

Raphael mirrored her movements and picked up his cup after she tentatively grabbed hers. It was a strange look on Addy – she was usually so certain of herself, and she did everything with a high level of confidence and grace. Writing her essays with only the occasional pause to dip her quill back into the inkwell, demolishing someone in an argument while barely stopping to catch her breath…so it was strange to see her look timid. Like she knew he was right, but didn’t know what to do about it. It was moments like these that made Rafe wonder if he wasn’t the only one tangled up in his feelings. He knew how to read Addy so well after seven years of friendship, but not about this! He knew when she was anxious about homework, or angry at another Slytherin for raising their hand in class before her. But he had no clue if she felt the same way as him about...them. Her words said no, that this was only a hookup that had slipped a little out of their control. Then again, sometimes he caught her watching him, an unreadable expression on her face, and he would wonder…

He resisted the urge to say ‘I know’ when Addy explained she had been busy with homework this week, as if he and Brígh hadn’t just been sympathizing with each other about what a beast Addy became when she was stressed about Magical Theory. Instead he stuffed his hands in his pockets and raised an eyebrow at her. “Why would you be preparing for Quidditch practice? I thought we agreed Hufflepuff was taking the Pitch this weekend.” In reality, they hadn’t really agreed to anything of the sort – Rafe had gone down to the changing rooms to confront Addy about it, they had gotten sidetracked…but with everything that had happened, she hadn’t actually said no. And Raphael was determined to book the Pitch at an optimal time at least once this season if Hufflepuff stood any chance of beating Gryffindor in their upcoming match. He’d been determined not to get off-topic with Addy, but if there was anything that could sidetrack him, it was the unresolved issue of booking the Pitch. And since he was being all insistent they talk, Rafe added in a measured voice, “You can show up to watch, if you want. But we’ll be there bright and early to practice.”

For someone who claimed not to know what to say – Addy definitely had a lot of commentary. At her question, Rafe opened his mouth to answer, but was quickly cut-off by her own admission that she didn’t know what to think about what happened. “I know what I think,” he said evenly, but once again he was interrupted by Addy deciding that this wasn’t the proper place to talk about it. He let her pull on his sleeve until they reached a hallway, an offshoot of the main room. He could still hear the others milling around, but couldn’t see them anymore. He sighed slightly and tried again, struggling to decide how he wanted to say it. “I don’t want to be friends anymore!” he blurted out, before wincing at his own moronic stupidity. He scrambled to fix his mistake. “No, that’s not what I mean. I don’t want to be just friends anymore,” Rafe corrected, blushing deeply as he avoided eye contact with Addy. He’d been nursing this crush since fifth year, and even though he’d daydreamed a thousand different ways to tell Addy about his feelings…now that the moment was here, he forgot all of it. After another beat, he finally dragged his gaze away from his shoes to lock with Addy’s beautiful blue eyes. “But you have to know that already, right? Brígh says I’m awful at hiding it.”

addilyn elara slater

[addilyn elara slater]

looking at the stars

admiring from afar

March 20, 2026
Raphael Caelan McLaggen

Oh, Merlin, they’d never actually finished that conversation—or argument, whatever that was. True to her ways, Addy had doubled down on her stance, and in what felt like a rare and magical moment, Cheese had stood up to her. He’d dug his feet more than her, and she’d been caught off guard by the action but also because damn if that hadn’t been just attractive. Maybe it was the heat of the moment and that their guards had been down after so many months of pretending they could coexist platonically. ”We didn’t agree on anything.” Addy said matter-of-factly. And yet, here he was, putting his foot down again. ”Hm. Shame it's still booked for Slytherin’s team.”

Cheese spoke again, and Addy didn’t acknowledge the words while they moved to somewhere they could speak privately but wasn’t so far out of the way. Even if he’d never said it, she knew what he thought. Brigh had told her as much when they’d had that conversation on Hy-Brasil the previous month. And his next small outburst was only confirmation of that. Addy didn’t respond right away as he corrected himself. And then she did what she always did. She tried to think it through. It wasn’t clear in Addy’s mind when the boy in front of her had gone from her best friend Cheese to Raphael—the boy who’d left her almost speechless the entire year. When did she start noticing how he’d shyly grin and how his eyes would light up when he’d gotten the perfect picture.

Well, if you asked Addy, he had done a perfectly good job of it at the beginning of the year and even at their little get-together for New Year’s. And despite her confusion about everything, his words had discouraged her more than she wanted to admit. ”You said…it was a mistake.” Addy spoke, remembering that entire conversation in the hot tub. ”And I wanted it to be.” It wasn’t supposed to happen, and it certainly wasn’t to continue. Last summer…it had just taken one moment, one pause for them to cross into new territory. They locked eyes, and Addy lingered a moment before looking away. He wanted them to be more. The question was—did she?

”I keep thinking about last summer.” Addy began, gathering her thoughts. She’d had time to think about this and naturally with the encouragement of her best friend, who had been nothing but insistent that Addy had feelings for Cheese. ”Did you know then?” That he wanted more. Addy remembered how it had felt. Brigh was gone, and suddenly, it was Addy and Raphael as some duo as she and Brigh usually were. And then Addy thought about herself—if just anyone had spontaneously kissed her like that, she would have smacked them with the force of a hex, but she hadn’t. She looked back at him, his face still pink from his earlier confession. ”I’ve had a lot of time to think, with some encouragement.” Brigh and a heavy textbook. ”I now know that we can’t ever go back to being ‘just friends’.” Addy admitted. She knew it was why her stomach did a flip when she smelled his soap or he stood just a bit too close to her and why avoiding him made her miserable.

”Obviously, NEWTs are my first priority and my duties as Captain, as well as Chess Club. Plus, Merlin knows you need help in History of Magic and Eggy in Potions and Brigh in sitting still.” Addy rattled off. Next, she probably should have paused to let him speak, but there was so much on her mind.

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[Raphael Caelan McLaggen]

Addy always had this habit of crossing her arms whenever she was about to dig her heels in and stubbornly cling to her argument, and Rafe had always wondered if it was instinct or if she did it on purpose as a confidence-booster. Either way, he mirrored her stance and crossed his arms, since this was one argument he was quite determined to win. His lips turned down in displeasure, although Rafe had always hated that he didn’t look threatening at all. His dad or Mickey? Yeah, the two of them cut an imposing figure when they exploded with anger. Raphael just looked like an angry puppy. “No, it’s not,” he countered, using his height advantage to hope he towered over Addy and looked even a fraction like his dad during one of their long training sessions. “Hufflepuff is taking the Pitch this weekend. Period.” He wasn’t clairvoyant, but Rafe could still see a batch of apology cookies in his future. Merlin, Addy was going to kill him. Or the rest of the Slytherin team, maybe.

He gulped nervously at the reminder of their New Year’s hangout, because Rafe regretted how that evening had gone so much. The boy just wasn’t good at thinking on his feet? Brígh had caught on to their secret quickly and surprised him with the mortifying fact that Addy had apparently written to her about their summer fling. And then he’d just lost control of his mouth for the rest of the evening. Rafe scuffed his foot on the floor as he considered what had happened, before just deciding to tell the truth. “Addy, I was lying. You’d already said it wouldn’t happen again, and Brígh was so upset and I’ve never been good with conflict so…” he trailed off, cheeks blazing red as he finished, “So I just told you two what you wanted to hear. Or what I thought you wanted to hear.”

It was an embarrassing admission, mostly because Rafe had never had any trouble reading the girls before. They’d been friends for so long that it was easy to predict how they would react or what they wanted. But when it came to these topics…love and dating and sex, he was just useless. Addy asked him if he’d known during the summer, and he scanned her face, trying to guess where she was going with the question. “Do you remember the Triwizard Tournament, in our fifth year? And the Yule Ball?” he finally said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his robes. He clutched a forgotten pack of Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum as his mind wandered into the memory. “It seemed like the perfect opportunity to finally ask and see if something would happen, but...Brígh was upset about Albus Potter, remember, and suggested we all go together, so we just did that. And then, this summer, I thought…it could be a second chance, maybe? But then you never seemed interested in anything more.”

Merlin, that was even more embarrassing to admit, and Rafe wished the ground would just open up and swallow him whole. The only thing that steadied his nerves was that Addy looked nervous too, and she began to ramble in a decidedly non-Addy way. NEWTs and Quidditch and chess and classes, all the usual factors that kept her busy. And no doubt after graduation it would be work and bills and everything that kept adults occupied all the time. Rafe didn’t want to interrupt, but it seemed necessary given that she seemed ready to ramble until it was time to graduate. So he stepped closer and gently took her hand in his. His voice was low when he spoke again, like he was afraid of turning the words into reality but had to try anyway. “And…do you think there’d be room for us in the middle of all that?” He gave a weak laugh. “Especially since we seem to agree it’s impossible to go backwards. So maybe it’s time to try going forward?”

addilyn elara slater

[addilyn elara slater]

looking at the stars

admiring from afar

March 20, 2026
Raphael Caelan McLaggen

Addy wasn’t unfamiliar with experience different moods and anxiety, and uncertainties. But it was always about Quidditch or something academic. Never about a boy. It was silly, and her mother had always warned them to focus on their goals, on the top prize, and not get distracted by anything, let alone a boy. Brigh had told Addy that Cheese had been lying, but hearing him confirm it out loud was what she’d needed to push away that doubt. They’d both had Brigh’s feelings in mind that night and ended up hurting one another in the process. ”I didn’t think what was happening was serious.” She paused, choosing to correct herself. ”Well, I didn’t know how to feel about it yet.” Addy wasn’t a stranger to thriving when being put on the spot, but not for this.

Her eyebrows raised slightly in response to his admission. Here she was wondering where her own feelings had come from, but they’d certainly been dragged out of her—unlocked last summer when they’d gone from best friends to much more over a bit of unbroken eye contact. ”Yes, I remember.” Fifth Year. That was even before Brigh had gone back home to her family. She didn’t respond right away, wondering how things might have been different or how she would have responded then. Still, she shook her head slightly in a small moment of realization. ”I thought you were moping around because we’d bored you with Albus talk.” Addy admitted. There had been a look in his eye and everyone down to his posture and everything she’d noticed.

There was a lot of information coming out into the open, and Addy wanted to retreat and stick her head in a book or go speak to the Aurors again, but she didn’t. And why? Because that wasn’t who Addy was. Backing down from a situation or a challenge? That was where she would shine, and she’d spent this year avoiding this because she felt a little uncomfortable—it was shamefully unlike her. ”Che—Rafe last summer…was new for me. I didn’t know what to think.” The coded words were not new. She’d hardly spent the last six years at Hogwarts worrying about seriously dating, and while she was still a teenager, nothing had ever gone so far. ”I wrote Brigh about it because I needed to talk to my best friend, and then we came back to school.” Addy didn’t feel she needed to explain the rest. It was a confusing time for her, to say the least. Thinking of such a thing as something she could control, but she’d quickly realized she couldn’t control how drawn she felt to him.

Addy blinked at him a few times, only looking away for a moment to look at her hand in his own. Had he not been listening? ”Rafe—that was me saying yes.” She almost wanted to roll her eyes, but she settled for a small, almost shy grin instead. ”This doesn’t mean you can have the Pitch this weekend, though.”

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[Raphael Caelan McLaggen]

Raphael smiled grudgingly at the memory of the Yule Ball. Fifth year had been an exciting and anxious time – with the Triwizard Tournament, and the delegations from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang, and all that happening on top of the usual excitement at Hogwarts and around teen hormones… “Well, there was a little bit of that too,” he admitted as Addy mentioned the ridiculous amount of boy talk there’d been about Albus Potter that year. Merlin, when Brígh was committed, she was committed and she’d hardly stopped talking about the boy. Given that Cheese and Albus had practically grown up together, and he’d seen the middle Potter child sulk at plenty of barbeques and only adequately play Quidditch, Cheese didn’t really get all the hype. He’d said that exactly one time to Brígh, and getting whacked over the head with a Gobstones set had shut him up for the rest of the year.

The sound of his real name coming from Addy still sent a shiver down his spine, and he couldn’t quite decide if it was apprehension from the unusual occurrence or a thrill of pleasure. Either way, she wasn’t scolding him like Brígh usually did when she decided to imitate his mum and use his full name, so Rafe didn’t comment. Instead, he shoved his hands further into his pockets as Addy used the same language he’d been hearing all year, every time they’d had one of their slip-ups after Quidditch practice. The thought was a little depressing, and it made him worry that this conversation was going to end the same way. The thought devastated him after he’d spilled his guts on exactly how long he’d been having the world’s most embarrassing crush. In an attempt to lighten the mood, Cheese suggested, “I think I deserve to see these letters. What was that phrase Brígh used on New Year’s, again?” He was still too embarrassed to repeat Brígh’s shameless description, because it was clearly her words and not Addy’s, but he still raised a challenging eyebrow at Addy, daring her to say it out-loud.

Yes. The one word was enough to cause a smile to slowly grow on Rafe’s face, lighting up his whole expression. She was saying…yes? “Y-yes?” he repeated weakly, wanting to confirm that he hadn’t accidentally floated off into one of his daydreams. Then he groaned. “Merlin, the one day I don’t bring my camera. Hold on one second.” He slipped his phone out of his pocket, pulled up the camera app, and quickly started recording. “Okay, say it again. Yes Cheese, I’m madly in love with you and you can have the Pitch for the rest of the season,” he coached, unable to keep a grin off his face or let go of Addy’s hand. This couldn’t be real, could it? After almost a year of indecision, and uncertainty, and going back and forth…it couldn’t just be the end of that chapter, and the start of something new…right?

addilyn elara slater

[addilyn elara slater]

looking at the stars

admiring from afar

March 20, 2026
Raphael Caelan McLaggen

The confession that apparently his feelings had been lingering since about fifth year was still a bit of a shock to Addy. How had she not noticed? Then again, their summer dalliance had seemingly come from nowhere. One moment they were just hanging out as friends, and the next, they had crossed a line that there was no turning back from. But it had been the both of them, and she’d spent all those months since the summer in denial and trying to understand it all, but it wasn’t something to study like Charms or Potions.

The thing was—when they’d crossed that line together, it had sparked something. The reason Addy couldn’t stay away from him was that she simply didn’t want to. They were long-time best friends, but Addy knew it was more than that, she truly felt something deeper for him, but all this time, she’d assumed it was just their friendship. Naturally, she’d written to Brigh but at the time had not disclosed who it was that she had slept with—but she just needed her friend to help her through her confusion. When Cheese mentioned the letters, Addy felt her face warm, and her eyes widened slightly. But then she rolled her eyes, Addy had never actually said that exact phrase in her letters, but it had been close enough. ”It was—I don’t remember.” Again, she blushed a little more as she tightened her arms across her chest.

Addy couldn’t help but smile at his response, his disbelief, and excitement. But she rolled her eyes when he pulled out his phone. Was that really necessary? ”Cheese—don’t make me change my mind.” She looked at him seriously, but not entirely seriously, as her eyebrow was raised up slightly. She was not giving on the point about the Quidditch Pitch. While one hand was in his, her other hand grabbed his phone to stop the recording. Even Addy knew that not everything needed to be captured. Remember a moment often left on without the original experience of it. She moved closer to him, looking up at his tall frame. ”I can’t just give it to you. I’m a team Captain. You’ll have to trade for something.” She challenged him. Aside from her own personal stubbornness, she couldn’t just bend just because of her feelings, she had duties to her team, and she didn’t want to appear to be a pushover.

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[Raphael Caelan McLaggen]

Raphael felt like he had just swallowed a Decoy Detonator – he was almost vibrating with excitement and he might actually explode at any moment. Part of him was a little nervous because, well…Addy was one of his best friends in the world, and that whole dynamic had shifted sideways into something new. And it was amazing, and exciting, but he worried about what would happen if he ruined it. They’d agreed to try and save the friendship back in January, and there were almost times when it felt like nothing had changed at all (which usually involved him procrastinating on homework and an exasperated eye roll from Addy). But what if this all went wrong? Would they be able to do it again? Would either of them survive Hurricane Brígh when she found out? Doubtful.

But no, this was not the time to let his insecurities eat him up inside. Addy was raising an eyebrow at him – that was familiar at least – but the smile on her face made his heart pound as he returned it. “Nuh-uh, no takebacks. You knew what you were getting into when you pursued this friendship,” Cheese challenged in quick defense of his tendency to record all the important moments in his life. His face lit up as he realized and corrected himself with a goofy smile, “This relationship.” Still, he let Addy grab his phone, because there were way more interesting things to think about and blush over. Like the fact that they were holding hands, and she had just moved closer to him, and that he could just lean down a bit and maybe close that distance a little more…

“Oh. I guess we have a problem, then.” Addy’s answer about the Quidditch Pitch was unsurprising, even if it was a softer rejection than all the other times he’d tried to convince her to give the other teams a chance to practice. And he couldn’t even imagine how Ravenclaw and Gryffindor might have taken the news – the Gryffindor captain at least must have thrown a fit. Cheese brought his free hand up to brush some of Addy’s hair out of her face, letting his hand linger. “We’ll have to negotiate. Maybe in the changing rooms?” He wouldn’t have dared to say it if they weren’t completely alone and out of eyesight of everyone else, but Addy had a talent for pulling flirty comments out of him. Only one of the many reasons it’d been hard to stay platonic with her this year. But he felt his face flush a little as a thought suddenly occurred to him and an expression of fear crossed his face. “So…who’s telling Brígh?”

addilyn elara slater
[End post Cheese!]