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last online Mar 7, 2024 7:11:22 GMT -7
WIZARDING ADULT
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Sept 13, 2021 19:10:38 GMT -7
Post by camila calderón on Sept 13, 2021 19:10:38 GMT -7
May 24, 2026 It could not have been worse timing that Auguste had been hospitalized right as Ilija was dealing with his father's death and all of the arrangements that had to be made after it, but Camila knew that neither of them had any control over it. Between all of that and the end of her tour, April had been quite the month. Although Camila knew that things could have been worse, it had hurt her, too, that she couldn't just toss every last bit of her work aside to support them both as much as she could.
With Auguste, it had been harder because she hadn't been able to see him in person since he had been admitted to St. Mungo's, though she knew that that was probably also beneficial to him. Even once he was home, though she had wanted to see him immediately to make sure that he was doing well, Camila knew that she needed to give him a little time to readjust to being out of the hospital.
It felt different to approach the palatial home in which Auguste lived that time, even though she had already sent him a text message to let him know that she would be there via Portkey. That way, thought Camila, she wouldn't be dropping by unannounced, and it wouldn't be as stressful for him. When she thought about it, that marked essentially the second year in a row that he had been at St. Mungo's. She knew that hadn't been his plan, but she still felt bad about it. She knew how difficult it had been to be there with Hag's Fever, and she couldn't imagine what it would be like to be staying on the psychiatric ward there.
Wanting to make sure that Auguste knew that she was there, Camila sent off another text message to him to let him know that she had arrived—with an added smiley face—and stood at the door, waiting and toying with the strap on her purse. She hoped that he would be doing better and that his time in the hospital hadn't been for nothing.
@auguste
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last online Mar 28, 2024 10:24:02 GMT -7
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Sept 14, 2021 5:52:45 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2021 5:52:45 GMT -7
Gus knew perfectly well that his mental health breakdown had come at a truly horrible time for Camila. It hadn't been possible to delay or plan that, but it had haunted him more than one day as he sat in the ward in the hospital, simply staring out his window. He had listened as various therapists tried to connect to him. He'd listened as the most useful one had either sat in silence or quietly spoken words of wisdom and anecdotal stories. During those sessions he listened more than he thought and he looked in silence at the man that had spoken. The fact he showed any sort of reaction was perceived as a good sign, so the man had kept coming and shared the silence as much as the tales. It had been a peculiar process of healing, but healing nonetheless. It had been slow but steady, until the final few days when things sped up at lightning speed. He was due to meet his chosen therapists in a few days, but first he was given time to settle down in his own home again. Coming home to Phillipe had been the best thing. His pet tiger had looked perfectly content in terms of being well fed and looking healthy but he'd jumped his owner in greeting and Gus had found his face licked quite enthusiastically by Phil. It was fantastic, even though it did smell rather horrible. Well, tigers didn't have to wash their teeth, he supposed. Over the next few days he'd had regular visits to check up on him, which he didn't mind for a change. It was good to see that people cared and he'd kept a fridge stocked with all sorts of treats for his guests by now, announced and otherwise. His cook was both in utter despair and joy at his return. The joy got the upper hand the moment Gus had declared open experimentation with unlimited budget. There had been a few very odd and exotic dishes as the cook used this peculiar opportunity to practise. Today, after an elaborate swim in the pool in the morning he'd completely disregarded the fact that he still didn't replace the phone he'd destroyed before being admitted. He didn't really miss it, after all. Technology was hardly his thing and the peace and quiet that came without a phone were a shape of bliss to him. So he didn't get or read any of his texts as they had no device to arrive on. He'd gotten ready, make up and everything, before going into his home studio to work on some more of his music. He'd been quietly strumming his guitar and writing some music while Phillipe had been around the house, thankfully. His tiger had noticed Camila come up the steps, unlike Gus, and he'd gotten the cook to open the door. By now he was no doubt attempting to show Camila to the door as Gus was rounding up some last notes to the song he'd been working on with a very content smile on his face. He heard Phil outside the door as soon as the notes died off and instantly walked over to open the door for his pet. "Oh hi Camila!" He said surprised but enthusiastic. "I didn't know you were coming! Would you like to sit in the living room or in here? Cook probably has some sort of pastries if you're interested." He said cheerfully as he gave her a hug to greet her, a smile on his face. "I've been working like crazy since I got home. It's like there's a thousand songs trying to worm their way out of my fingers at the same time. Though Cook and the others have been keeping an eye out to ensure I stick to a schedule. I have forced relaxation. Opted for swimming this morning." Gus said as he cleaned up some of the paper cheerfully to make space in case she wanted to sit in that room. Though honestly? Coffee and some pastries sounded rather good in that moment to him. camila calderón
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last online Mar 7, 2024 7:11:22 GMT -7
WIZARDING ADULT
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Sept 15, 2021 14:35:04 GMT -7
Post by camila calderón on Sept 15, 2021 14:35:04 GMT -7
May 24, 2026 When he answered the door, Auguste seemed surprised to see her there, but he looked better than she expected he would. Looking at him, it was hard to believe that he had been in the hospital for so long, although he mentioned that he hadn't known that she was coming. That was strange, she thought, but she didn't comment on it immediately. She was glad to see him revitalized, even if he was talking almost too quickly for her to keep up with what he was saying, and hugged him tightly, giving him an air kiss on the right cheek.
Auguste explained, too, that he had been "working like crazy" since he had been home, not that he had been home very long at all. It was good that he was enjoying himself; Camila had no problem with that, though she did worry that he might burn himself out again. She smiled a little as he mentioned even having "forced relaxation" time, though she took him gently by the arm as he started to clean things up.
"It's okay," she told him. Though he hadn't gotten word that she was going to drop by to visit him, Camila didn't want Auguste to go to the trouble of cleaning up. It wasn't a problem. Really, it was just about the least of her worries. "I tried to send you a text message," she explained; she hadn't been trying to show up unannounced, but she couldn't change the fact that that was what had happened. "Please," she reassured Auguste, "don't worry about this."
@auguste
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last online Mar 28, 2024 10:24:02 GMT -7
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Jan 6, 2022 6:26:44 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jan 6, 2022 6:26:44 GMT -7
It seemed that she was worried about him, or at least in the sense that she seemed to be trying to stop him from tidying a room that looked a little like a paper storm had raged right in the middle of it. He had too many ideas and thoughts he needed to put on paper and separating the various songs and lyrics that roamed around in his head felt almost impossible. Still, having music back in his life had made him feel more revitalised than ever before. Even if life hadn't actively changed, it felt like his perception of it had. It he wanted something, he'd need to work to get it. Though for him, that mostly was for his life goals, as working hard for his music had never taken him all that much effort to begin with. He loved his job adn he was rather fearless in it. It had never felt like he had anything to lose there and finding out he could lose his inspiration had hit him like a freight train. Now it was back he had time to focus properly on his dreams for the future. Finding a significant other so that he could possibly start a family of his own one day. Maybe he was a total mess and maybe there was a risk that he'd end up being like his mother but he felt that the idea alone brought him such energy that he ought to take that risk. He certainly wasn't happier longing for something he didn't have. She mentioned sending a text and he paused and looked at her almost blankly as he processed that information. "Oh right..." he said and laughed sheepishly as he ran a hand through his hair. "I threw it off the balcony way back when." He said totally off-handedly. "It irritated me." That was all the explanation he felt it needed. camila calderón
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last online Mar 7, 2024 7:11:22 GMT -7
WIZARDING ADULT
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Jan 16, 2022 20:28:03 GMT -7
Post by camila calderón on Jan 16, 2022 20:28:03 GMT -7
May 24, 2026 It took a moment before what she had been talking about appeared to register with Auguste. When he realized that she had brought up his phone, he mentioned very casually that he had thrown it off of the balcony because it had been irritating him. That answered that, at least, thought Camila, though it wouldn't be difficult for him to go and buy another one if the old one that he'd literally thrown away couldn't be found or repaired. She made a note to herself to communicate with him via owl until he had a replacement phone—if he even decided to purchase one. He didn't seem to be in a terrible hurry for a replacement.
While obviously distracted by having regained some sort of a creative spark, it was probably better that he had been detached from the world, Camila considered. He'd needed a break, and hearing about Hogwarts straight away—because Camila assumed that he didn't yet know—would only frustrate him. Instead, she stepped farther into the room and awkwardly sat down where he had cleared some space. "How do you feel now?" she asked him with a soft smile, not really minding the clutter. "Better?" She hoped that his excitement wasn't just a façade and that he was genuinely doing better than the last time she'd seen him. Auguste, as wild as he could be sometimes, deserved to feel comfortable with himself and where he was in life.
@auguste
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last online Mar 28, 2024 10:24:02 GMT -7
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Jan 22, 2022 4:12:37 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jan 22, 2022 4:12:37 GMT -7
There were always questions that would give even the most dumb and thickheaded people pause. Considering that Gus was neither dumb nor particularly thickheaded when it came to this particular subject, he found himself quite literally pausing as he considered her question. How did he feel? Easy, a lot better. But the thing that gave him pause was that it was about the now, compared to the before. That really shouldn't have been a question. So as he stood still for a moment with some papers in hand a small smile crept on his face, a twinkle in his eyes as he turned to his friend. "You'd expect that to be a simple question, wouldn't you?" He asked her deviously. Then he laughed and shook his head slightly. "I am a lot better, although it's quite impossible not to be. When one has felt the peculiar erosion of nothingness on their lives. Even as you watch it slowly consume every corner of your life you can't seem to feel anything, even as it begins to chew on things you once cared about deeply. It's a peculiar kind of existance as you feel like what you made a person ceased existing and you just sit by and watch the world without the ability to participate." He frowned a second and shrugged. "Anything is an improvment to that." He then put some more music away, smiling as he looked at some of the sheets. "Oddly inspiring when that spark of life comes back though." He said with a chuckle as he sat himself down. "Right, would you like something to drink? Or eat?" camila calderón
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last online Mar 7, 2024 7:11:22 GMT -7
WIZARDING ADULT
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Jan 22, 2022 11:41:09 GMT -7
Post by camila calderón on Jan 22, 2022 11:41:09 GMT -7
May 24, 2026 Auguste gave her a perfectly thorough explanation; Camila knew that, but he lost her midway through it. She got the general idea of what he was saying, though, and that was what mattered. He was doing better than he had been, and he had inspiration again. He also offered her something to eat or drink, at which Camila shook her head politely.
"No, no. It's okay," she assured him, smiling. "I am very happy that you feel better." It had been hard for her to know that he was struggling, especially because she knew that there was little that she could really do to help. "In Paris, in February"—Camila knew that her pronunciation of "February" was slightly off, but she wasn't focused on that—"I know that you had a lot of pain, but you helped me in that interview." She was grateful for everything that Auguste had done to remain supportive of her. "You are like family for me. Always." That wasn't anything that he didn't already know, of course, but Camila wanted to make sure that he heard it from her again. He had been so selfless, and she doubted that he got enough credit for that—not to mention that he probably had been too distracted by work and everything else to understand just how much it meant to her. And it meant even more in hindsight. "If I can do anything… to help you," she offered Auguste slowly but sincerely, "with the media or…" Whatever she had some control over, she would try—not that journalists couldn't take what they wanted to and spin it however they wanted. "I know that you have employees," she acknowledged, "but it is different if I speak in public…" Their world was dictated by all sorts of rules that didn't apply in "normal" life. People who weren't famous didn't have to worry as much about everything they did or said, and that also worked in reverse. If Auguste and his team wanted to put out a particular message for his sake, Camila had no problem going along with that.
@auguste
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last online Mar 28, 2024 10:24:02 GMT -7
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May 24, 2022 5:13:37 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 24, 2022 5:13:37 GMT -7
Camila was dear and precious and Gus had a feeling she was unaware of just how precious and important she was. She had an innocense to her that he admired and he hoped that it would stay with her for a very long time to come. Yet it wasn't impossible to think that perhaps it'd fade in due time. That it might end up destroyed. He felt so much better himself, and he knew she had a part in that. It was knowing there were people out there that'd understand at least some of everything going on that helped him, although it was only in hindsight that he had slowly come to realise that. "You're also like family to me." He admitted with a warm smile. "I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you back then." Not that he thought there was anything more that might have been possible, except for creating a drama that'd overshadow their actual work and well, he hadn't been willing to do that. Nor did he believe she would have wanted that. Some relationships were simply not meant to be. He'd found that out first hand, but that didn't meant that he liked it. Maybe it was better, but that didn't mean he couldn't miss what he'd once had. "I've made some choices. I'm not fully certain yet, but I've started writing some songs and music. I'm still thinking it over, but if it does leak, I don't really want to lie anymore. I've struggled for such a long time and so much of it has been hidden or covered up. Maybe it's time to show some honesty to those long term fans. To confess that I have struggled, now that I'm finally beginning to believe I might just be on the mend. I don't know why, but it feels different this time." He shrugged. He hoped it wasn't just as fools hope that everything would be better soon. He hoped it was something within himself that had shifted. If it had, everything was going to be okay, right? camila calderón
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last online Mar 7, 2024 7:11:22 GMT -7
WIZARDING ADULT
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May 26, 2022 3:58:51 GMT -7
Post by camila calderón on May 26, 2022 3:58:51 GMT -7
May 24, 2026 Auguste told her that she was also like family to him, and he apologized to her for not having been able to do more to help her during that terrible interview in Paris. Camila, though, wasn't sure what either of them could have done. Their interviewer didn't seem to have come to work with the intention of giving them a fair chance to say what they wanted to say to promote their work without dragging some additional drama into it. There were other ways of putting together something that their fans would want to read, Camila thought, but she also wasn't a journalist.
"I've made some choices," Auguste continued. Camila waited for him to say more, though, because she didn't know what he meant by that. "I'm not fully certain yet, but I've started writing some songs and music." Getting back into songwriting—as was evident from all the papers he had cleaned up just so they could sit down to talk—was good for him. "I'm still thinking it over, but if it does leak, I don't really want to lie anymore." He had been creating songs about his more recent experiences, Camila realized as he mentioned that he had struggled for a long time and that he wanted to be honest with his long-term fans.
"I don't know why, but it feels different this time," he said.
Camila nodded. "It is different for you, for your music," she replied to Auguste. The glamorized public persona that he had wasn't really one of honesty. It was what people wanted to hear; it was what they imagined his life to be like. Either changing his image somewhat or finding a way to fit the new material in with how he had been presenting himself to the world would be challenging. "But I think that it is very good. For you and for your fans," Camila explained. "I am not an expert, but I think that it will be good for your health also." He wouldn't have to think as much about maintaining an image that was different from who he really was. That would hopefully be less stressful for him, and then he wouldn't feel as compelled to do things that might be dangerous. "You can be who you are," she encouraged him. "And I think that your fans will appreciate it." It might help other people to be more honest with themselves, too, thought Camila. "Do you want to share some of the music? Or not now?"
@auguste
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last online Mar 28, 2024 10:24:02 GMT -7
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May 26, 2022 5:02:02 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 26, 2022 5:02:02 GMT -7
She was right of course. It was different. It mostly was different because it felt different, not because he felt that he behaved differently. It just felt like this time, he felt more hopeful than before, which was quite uncommon for him. He wasn't quite used to the feeling. Hope had always felt like a stranger to him. He'd never been able to find a strong enough happy memory to cast a patronus. Happy memories always had been hidden under the shadow of events that took place after them. It was so hard for him to remember all the good memories he had of his mother without also remembering how she'd taken herself away from him. Now, it felt like he could actually separate them, and it made all the difference. He smiled a bit at her words. "I've been writing songs like that for years, but I rarely ever share them with anybody. They always felt so personal." Like he had to hide it in order to hide his responsibility and his guilt from the rest of the world. Now that he was starting to finally put that behind himself and fully accept that his mother hadn't acted because of him but rather despite his best efforts, he came to realise that his grief and sorrow were not subjects of shame, but rather very human experiences. Maybe this time it'd be different. Maybe this time they'd be a way for the world to see that even he carried problems with him. He actually laughed a bit generously at her comment that he could be who he was. "Oh my dear Camila, I always have been. I love and adore the stage and all the attention that comes with it. I like wearing outlandish outfits and showing up to my concerts in a flying chariot pulled by pegasi. I'm by nature flamboyant and dramatic, but it suits me rather well. I just feel it's time to share the more vulnerable side too. I've never pretended to be flawless and it's more than just common knowledge that I have more vices than virtues, but I suspect more people such as myself struggle with some unspoken pain in their past. It's time it becomes acceptable to talk about it." She asked if he wanted to share and his eyes almost twinkled in the excitement of actually sharing one of his most recent pieces with somebody. He went through some of the papers like a small thunderstorm untill he found the sheet he'd been looking for and grabbed his aucoustic guitar. "I haven't really put it to more than guitar, so it's very... different." He felt a need to warn her that it wasn't at all like the usual rock music yet, more like a gentle balad. He started playing the simple but very calm melody. Soft, and soothing. With an almost dreamy smile on his face he began singing, not trying to make the rough edge in his voice disappear. It was one of the things that sold, after all. "I've been staring out this window since the day that I arrived I've been smoking all my problems but I don't know what to write A letter here, a song, a verse, Put them together, make it worse..."camila calderónOOC: If she lets him he'll sing the entire thing, which I posted on his song lyrics page.
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last online Mar 7, 2024 7:11:22 GMT -7
WIZARDING ADULT
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May 26, 2022 10:39:56 GMT -7
Post by camila calderón on May 26, 2022 10:39:56 GMT -7
May 24, 2026 "I've been writing songs like that for years," Auguste clarified, "but I rarely ever share them with anybody. They always felt so personal."
Despite that, though, he laughed and corrected her, saying that he had always been himself; he just hadn't felt comfortable sharing the vulnerable side of himself with the public. That was what Camila had meant, more than anything. He could still keep some of it to himself if that was what he preferred to do. He didn't have to strip everything away. As he mentioned, too, dealing with certain problems shouldn't have to come with stigma attached.
Hearing Auguste speak that way instead of drinking as a coping mechanism was nice, Camila thought. She didn't want to send him into a downward spiral by mentioning that there were probably even more of his fans who could relate to the side of himself that he wanted to bring out into the open, but she knew that the timing—as terrible as it was to think of it in a business sense—would be appropriate.
Camila knew that she probably should have expected another flurry of papers when she brought up Auguste's new music to him, but she waited patiently as he uncovered whatever he had been looking for, plus an acoustic guitar.
"I haven't really put it to more than guitar, so it's very… different," he added, though Camila didn't think that that was a bad thing. Not every song needed to be produced as heavily as had become typical. If Camila had it her way, her own songs wouldn't be.
Auguste began to sing the song that he had written, and Camila listened intently. He was right; it was very different, but it was really good.
@auguste
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last online Mar 28, 2024 10:24:02 GMT -7
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Jun 5, 2022 15:36:17 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2022 15:36:17 GMT -7
Pooring his heart and voice into his music was very common to him. This song? It encompassed a full journey to him. The difficulties he'd experiences in dealing with the loss of his mother. How it had easily taken him a decade to forgive himself. To realise that her choices were her own, and she wouldn't have allowed him to influence her to the point that she'd kept going, otherwise she would have. She hadn't gotten the help she'd needed, but that had never been his own personal responsibility. He'd finally arrived at the point where he could grieve his mother without a feeling of guilt, only loss. He remembered the best parts of her fondly, but he also knew they were not the only parts. But when it came to music? He poured all the love he'd felt for her into his song and sung it as if his heart was still bleeding as much as the first day. It carried weight with it that way. Considering the fact that Camila didn't bother to interrupt him during the song he easily kept going. He'd practised the song endlessly already, wanting to make sure that he could play it perfectly in case he decided that he wanted to perform it. So he finished the entire song, heartfelt and with a faint smile on his face as he played the final notes and looked up to Camila again. "I think she'd have loved it. She wasn't much into rock music, although she could appreciate almost every genre. She loved classical music most, which is why she taught me to play guitar. Whenever I miss her, I just play one of her favourite pieces and it's almost like she's sitting on the stool with me, just enjoying her favourite music." He always loved that about her, how intensely she could feel and enjoy the simple sound of a piano or guitar. Like for just that brief moment, nothing else in the world mattered. And that was all that mattered. "I know the world will always see an image of us, and not who we truly are. While I kind of prefer it that way, I am starting to realise just how much we all need somebody to look up to. Somebody we can sort of turn to with our problems, even if they are out of reach in some way. When you're famous, that list grows a bit thin in terms of living people. They become more normal, no longer those distant heroes you'll probably never get to meet, especially in your own field. My wasn't exactly unreachable then, but she is now. It gives a certain power to confiding secrets to this person, because you can always tell yourself that this star hasn't read your letter. That they didn't see the blood you poured out in front of them. It's countless secrets between us and our fans that we might never even be aware of. It's beautiful." He said with an almost wistful smile playing on his lips. "I just can't believe I was so blind that I never saw it before." camila calderón
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