The parting of the ways [Parvati]

[Casimir Elias Karkaroff]

22 May 2026

How should one feel at the end of a story? There was no other way to describe it, one week after Hogwarts had succumbed to the flames and the Purifiers with it. The Order had been fighting the Purifier threat for so long, struggling against an invisible enemy that had seemed undefeatable and loomed larger-than-life. And they’d even fought within themselves, the split into Ouroboros and Heliopath that had occurred after Harry’s disappearance, and the Chosen One’s direct leadership and intervention to bring them together again. But Cas didn’t believe, couldn’t believe in this idea of ‘together.’ He wasn’t one of the angels, a good man fighting for a good cause. No, he had always been gray at best – operating in the space between right and wrong, doing bad things for a marginally more hopeful future.

There were still so many in the Order who doubted his intentions. He knew that, could feel the distance between them even after months and years together. Maybe he should be happy – the Purifiers were gone, weren’t they? Elaine was dead, and the Ministry was rounding up the last of her followers now. But he couldn’t feel any satisfaction at the public arrests and trials of those he knew – purebloods he had grown up with, gone to school and worked together and even called his friends. It brought too many disturbing memories to the front of his mind, memories he had fought to suppress for years of his father being dragged away by the Aurors and the public humiliation and disgrace that had followed. But he had joined the Order to fight against blood purists, and they had accomplished that. He couldn’t be sorry that his work had resulted in something meaningful – even if nobody would ever know the part he had played. Even if the price of his safety was living and dying in obscurity.

Above all, he couldn’t shake the feeling that this was the end. Cas had been torn and pulled in two directions for so long – tortured by the thought that his family relied on him, but that he could count some members of the Order as people he respected and even admired. Could even call his friends. Where did he belong, what kind of man was he? The kind to betray his family and community? The kind with no loyalty to the people he had worked with for years, held their lives in his hands and given them his own? Those worlds were fundamentally opposed to each other, would always be at odds with each other, and Cas needed some distance from it all. To decide once and for all where he belonged, if it was even anywhere at all. He dreaded that conversation with the people he had grown to trust – Harry, Claire, Cade -- and the purebloods he had helped recruit into the Order – Jasper, Ariadne, Ana.

And Parvati. Their connection was odd, two people so fundamentally different that it couldn’t make sense. But they’d worked together for years – first in the Order, and then as squad leaders in Ouroboros – and he trusted her more than he could put into words. She’d seen him at his most uncertain, and would understand the most why he had to leave. Why he simply couldn’t stay and pretend that nothing had changed. Cas had visited her Hogsmeade home so many times that he didn’t hesitate to knock and let himself in now. But something was wrong. Parvati was always the perfect host, with a comfortable home and a tea tray ready at a moment’s notice (even if he personally despised the English drink). But the house was dark now, and he stepped cautiously into the living room to find her huddled on the couch. The place looked unkempt, and she did too. It was the first he’d seen of her since the Order had first received forewarning that Elaine was planning her final stand. “Parvati?” His voice echoed in the dim quiet of the room.

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

TW/CW: Loss of a child, bereavement

May 22, 2026

Her daughter, her cat, and the possessions she had had with her at Hogwarts were all gone, and it seemed as though her job might be, too. Never had Parvati been more grateful for her decision to rent a flat in Hogsmeade, because it meant that she hadn't lost everything, even if it felt like she had. She hadn't been the only one to lose her child that day, but seeing Shreya's smiling face across the room, immortalized in a photograph that had been draped with a garland of marigolds, was a constant reminder of her loss.

It was Ernie's loss, too, although Parvati hadn't been about to entertain her ex-husband at her parents' home, nor had she wanted to spend a minute longer with him than she'd had to. She was already blaming herself enough for Shreya's death that Ernie's visiting hadn't helped much. They kept things civil, but there were too many things that they still had to work through, too many questions that weren't going to get solved overnight. It was emotionally draining, and it didn't help that she'd barely eaten in the days since the attack.

Once Ernie had left, Parvati got up and angled Shreya's photograph away from her so that she didn't have to see it. Looking at her smiling as though she were still alive, like she could reach through the frame and hold her in her arms, was more than she could bear at that moment. She was supposed to be able to hold herself together; she had the rest of her family to think about. There she was, without any makeup on and dressed all in funereal white, knowing she no doubt looked like a ghost herself.

She hadn't been expecting Cas to stop by at all. It wasn't because she thought that he didn't care; she knew that he had other things to worry about. She'd been oscillating between crying and fighting off flashbacks most of the time, angry with herself for all that she had and hadn't done. Children weren't supposed to die before their parents, and she had been so naïve as to think that it wouldn't happen to her. The potions that she was meant to be taking anyway seemed to do little for her, and Parvati wasn't someone who did well with keeping things bottled up under the best of circumstances. She could feel herself becoming teary-eyed again as Cas spoke her name, and she straightened herself up from her position on the sofa.

"Cas…" Parvati smiled as much as she could manage to, trying in vain to make herself look more presentable even though she knew her voice must have sounded strained. There was relief in seeing him, and she blinked at the moisture in her eyes. She stood and adjusted her dupatta, wishing there were a way to dab at her eyes without calling attention to it, before walking over to meet him. She shook her head slightly and pulled Cas into a hug, not saying anything initially before she could hear herself heaving a sob.

Casimir Elias Karkaroff

[Casimir Elias Karkaroff]

It felt like he was reliving history, combining all his worst memories of the Death Eaters being rounded up with his last days as a cursebreaker. There was a sense of finality to everything, like a chapter was being shut and it could never be revisited again. He hated that feeling, because it was only a reminder that in some areas he could never have full control. And being helpless? Cas had been there, and he'd resolved not to revisit it. But he couldn't help the flood of memories that came. Listening to the radio for updates on his father’s trial was still a vivid memory in his mind (because the Karkaroffs did not rely on tainted Muggle technology any more than they had to, certainly not enough to get a TV), and he couldn’t forget his final day at Gringotts either. The deep sense of loss he’d carried with him at the stark reminder that his happiness would always rank below the family’s needs. Cas had grown so accustomed to the freedom and adventure of cursebreaking that the adjustment to Knockturn Alley had been…a dark time for him. He’d taken a long while to adjust to the realities of what sacrifice and duty truly meant in the pureblood community.

But this time needed to be different. Cas had spent so much of his life becoming what others around him needed. He’d been a pseudo-parent to his younger siblings, instructing and watching where his unfit parents simply couldn’t. And he played many personas in Borgin and Burke’s, donning whatever mask would best suit what the customer needed while advancing his own shadow agenda for the Order. And to make the sale, of course. That had always been Cas’s bottom line, even if galleons interested him less than the reputation of the position. But leaving the Order? He knew he would be letting down Harry, who had placed a great responsibility on his shoulders even against the advice of so many other Order members who warned against trusting a Karkaroff. And he knew Claire wouldn’t be pleased – not that she often was around him, but he dreaded that conversation almost as much as his inevitable trip to Godric’s Hollow. With both of them, he'd started out to skeptical...and over the years began to care more than he would ever admit out-loud. Merlin, Claire knew that at least. But this was for him, for once. He needed to reevaluate what his life meant for himself, not just in the service of others. Cas knew ultimately he would do what he needed to for his family, but for a while…he could pretend that what he wanted mattered too. His greatest desire, more than the reputation and prestige of Borgin and Burke's, more than being recognized as the foremost expert in his industry...his greatest desire was freedom. And he wanted a taste of it, just for a while.

He quietly entered the living room, eyes gliding over the darkened room and the unkempt feeling that surrounded the whole area. Cas remembered what the mood had been in Ouroboros after Hermione Granger’s death – grim, remorseful, and with tempers running high and revealing the cracks in the organization, more than usual. He could only imagine the amplified effect that Hogwarts’ destruction would inevitably have, the mourning that many British members would find themselves struggling to cope with. Parvati looked wrung out, like somebody had scooped out everything inside her and left only a shell of her behind. Cas lingered uncertainly by the door, feeling like he had intruded on a private moment and almost unwilling to cross the threshold and enter it. It was a symptom of his selfish nature – he’d come here to consult Parvati on his tortured decisions. He’d never thought of the pain she must be passing through too.

Physical affection had never been common in the Karkaroff family, and Cas froze when Parvati enveloped him in a hug. The warm gesture, one meant to provide comfort for both seeking it…that was unfamiliar to him. He stiffened slightly, pausing to consider his options before slowly bringing his arms around Parvati. He wasn’t a warm person, and no one would dare to call him affectionate or caring. But he respected Parvati as a coworker, and he’d even grown to like her. A secret he would never share -- it hurt him to see her so destroyed. Cas allowed the hug to continue another moment or two before pulling away, guiding Parvati back to the couch before her knees could give out. The aftermath of Hogwarts had left her looking fragile, and he pretended not to notice the tears running down her cheeks. Instead, he brought out his wand and waved it subtly, watching a tea tray float into the room and onto the coffee table. Merlin, he hated tea. It was a weak drink, and he’d never understood the English fascination for it. But now he silently poured a cup for Parvati, pushing it gently into her hands. Parvati needed more from him right now than what he could usually give. But he would struggle to provide it anyway.

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

TW/CW: Loss of a child, bereavement

May 22, 2026

In spite of it all, Cas was being far kinder to her than Parvati felt she deserved. He wrapped his arms around her to hug her back, and she clung to him more tightly than she might have—even though she was the one doing most of the hugging. He pulled away from the hug then, guiding her back over to the sofa. Parvati knew that she was probably better off there, if only because the tears in her eyes would have made it difficult for her to see where she was going without that assistance.

She sat back down and continued to cry, but she could feel herself becoming more at ease in knowing that Cas wasn't there to judge her. For Merlin's sake, she had hardly blinked before a tea tray had materialized on the table in front of her. It was Cas's doing, obviously, and he moved the cup into her hands without her having time to think about it.

Steadying the cup with both hands so that it didn't fall, Parvati nodded to acknowledge Cas's gesture. She was a wreck. Even Ernie had cried, though she could tell that he'd tried not to seem like it. "I-I know it's selfish of me," she told Cas quietly once she had enough certainty that she could speak without only sobbing, "but I—I don't know how I'm meant to go on like this… There's so much happening, and I…" She'd failed Shreya, hadn't she?

Casimir Elias Karkaroff

[Casimir Elias Karkaroff]

Cas sat stiffly on the couch while Parvati cried, unwilling to be the one to speak first. He and Parvati had worked together a long time, years really, and he knew that silence didn’t always have to be feared. There was a certain peace to being able to sit with someone without worrying about the flow of words between them – and sometimes, the deepest thoughts were the ones that didn’t need to be verbalized at all. He had never been in the habit of wasting words, and Parvati had long since grown accustomed to his style. She had never been suspicious of him and his motivations, or at least she trusted Harry enough to know that Cas had some reason to be in the Order and that Harry must know what he was doing. Because of that, he’d worked much more closely with Parvati in the past than with most other Order members. Reviewing the double set of ledgers he kept for dangerous artifacts that could fall into Purifier hands, discussing the future of the organization and where they needed to be and what needed to be done to fight their common enemy. They had compatible working styles, but more than he’d learned to grow more comfortable around her in a way he couldn't with most of the non-pureblood world.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t new territory for them. Cas had been in a severe emotional turmoil after the death of his father, and he’d been shaky since the Azkaban breakout. And Parvati, well…Hermione’s death had deeply affected her, and the explosions at the Quidditch final had forced them to review Ouroboros’s strategy and conclude…that it just wasn’t working anymore. In a sense, that had been the first domino to fall in the slow progression back towards a unified Order. It had been a short-term victory for Elaine, the successful murder of such a powerful Minister of Magic, but ultimately…well, would they have gotten here at all without the Order? It was a strange and twisting thought, that this end state they found themselves in was the desired one. But it was, wasn’t it? Elaine was gone, the Purifiers were crumbling, and the Order of the Phoenix wasn’t needed anymore.

But it had come at a high price, and Cas pushed the tea into Parvati’s hands as he contemplated how she was paying it. Her hands shook as she accepted the cup, but her voice wasn’t choked with tears as she wondered how she was meant to go on. Cas shook his head. “Don’t make yourself a martyr, Parvati,” he said, the words coming out rough -- his usual tendency to criticize what he saw as less than acceptable behavior. He didn’t know how to be warm or caring, had never been that way with his own siblings, and he couldn’t find any gentler way to chide Parvati now for falling into the same habits she always did. Her children had never hesitated to make her the villain, but it was made all the worse by Parvati’s acceptance of it. Even her tendency to do it to herself. He continued in a quiet voice. “What good are you to the Order if you won’t take care of yourself?” Cas’s face was solemn and his tone was heavy with reflection as he considered his own situation. “It's over, done. But haven't we learned by now, everything comes with a cost?”

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

TW/CW: Loss of a child, bereavement

May 22, 2026

"Don’t make yourself a martyr, Parvati," Cas told her almost scoldingly as she expressed how incredibly useless she felt, and then he softened his voice in a way that was quite unexpected to her. "What good are you to the Order if you won't take care of yourself?" he asked. Parvati didn't want to think about the Order, and she didn't know how she was supposed to continue with that, either. "It's over, done," said Cas. "But haven't we learned by now, everything comes with a cost?"

There were always going to be Dark witches and wizards around, no matter what they did. If not Elaine, it would only be a matter of time before someone else would come to take her place as a primary target. The cost, however, felt far too great. If not her children, their friends. If not her, her friends. Her grandchildren would find themselves in the same position someday, yet Parvati already felt too old and too tired to do much more. She knew that she had to keep living for her family that remained, but it was so hard.

"The cost… I-It wasn't—It wasn't supposed to be my daughter," Parvati spoke through renewed tears, looking down so that Cas didn't have to see her like that for any longer than he had to. They were supposed to have achieved peace back in 1998 with Lord Voldemort gone. It was supposed to have happened then, before even Cas himself would have been old enough to grasp what had been going on. He was just as caught up in it all as Shreya, as Sav, as Raleigh, as every single person in her generation and the one that had followed it had been recruited into a fight for their lives without understanding how much it would take from them if not their lives themselves.

She was tired and angry with herself and with everyone and everything else that hadn't done enough to stop someone like Elaine Dupree from becoming who she had become. She hated that the Dark Arts had continued to come with an allure—not for Parvati herself, of course, but for anyone, anywhere, ever—in a world in which she and the other members of Dumbledore's Army had continued to be treated as heroes by the magical public, decades on from their adolescence.

Moving the cup slowly so that she wouldn't spill the liquid within it, Parvati took a sip of the tea that Cas had prepared. It seemed to demand almost too much dexterity of her, and she felt more relieved upon setting the cup back down again without dropping it. The tea at least reduced the choking feeling in her throat, though she had expected it to taste saltier on account of her crying. "I… I'm so sorry, Cas…" she spoke sadly, looking back up at him. He had been put through no shortage of pain because of the Order and Ouroboros, Parvati knew, even if he wasn't the one crying to her. She should have done more to protect him, too, especially against the distrust that too many people showed against him from their own side. "I'm so sorry," she repeated, trembling enough that she had to strengthen her hold on the teacup all of a sudden. "I haven't done enough…" And there was so much more that she could have done.

At least, that was all in hindsight. As Cas said, it was over. There had been a price to pay, and Parvati had paid it; she just didn't want to keep getting taxed again and again and again over it. She motioned for Cas to sit, nodding to the space on the sofa beside her. She hated that she wasn't in the right frame of mind to have a proper conversation with him in the way in which she would have liked to have one, but she hoped he understood.

Casimir Elias Karkaroff

[Casimir Elias Karkaroff]

Costs. Cas was a businessman, and he knew better than anybody that every deal came with a cost. Sometimes it was easy to see – stacks of galleons neatly lined up, an artifact tidily wrapped in packaging paper to hide whatever magic had been woven into its jewels or silk. But those were the easy bargains, the ones where you knew exactly what you would be getting. Life wasn’t neat or tidy, and the cost was rarely only skin-deep. No, it often ran much deeper, sometimes demanding more than what you could pay – and more, and more, until it drowned you completely. Cas had always known from day one to never strike a deal he couldn’t keep, a deal that he couldn’t pay for. There were the obvious prices to his actions of the last few years. The risk he had taken by joining the Order. The paranoia that came with lying to everyone in his life. And of course, the title. Blood traitor. The words echoed in his head. He had never considered it of himself before – that fate was only for the purebloods who had turned their back on their community. But…hadn’t he too?

“There are some things you can’t come back from.” His voice was empty of emotion, and he tried desperately not think about his father. About how ruined he had been after hearing the news of the Azkaban breakout, and the perpetual fear that had followed. Or after the events of last Halloween, and how deeply it had shaken Cas to his core. Instead he thought about what he knew best – cold, hard business. It was easier to focus on that than to allow himself to feel anything. “But you’ve made the deal. You’ve paid the price. Someday you’ll be able to see what you got for it.” Cas wasn’t under any illusions… this evil had been defeated, but it was only inevitable that Elaine would eventually be replaced by something darker. More sinister, more deadly. But for now? They’d bought some quiet. Weeks, months, years even if they had any luck at all. It had come at a heavy cost, but those kinds of deals – high risk, high reward – they were the only kind that Cas ever bothered with anymore. The only ones worth his time.

It was easier to tell Parvati that than to remember that Shreya was more than just the cost of doing business. It was heartless, it was cold, but that was Cas. He had grown up in a hard, remorseless world, and he had raised his siblings in the same shade of gray that his own upbringing had been. There was no space for color, or ‘happy’ or ‘peace’ for the Karkaroffs – and it was a hard truth to swallow, but life had become easier after he’d started to accept it. Sitting next to Parvati, he was reminded that there were some brief moments where things had been…better. But they amounted to very little in the grand scheme of things. Cas had been examining the flower patterns on the cup when Parvati began to apologize, and he turned his head slightly to examine her profile and the tears that streamed down her face. “What does ‘enough’ mean?” he asked in an undertone. He exhaled slowly through his nose. “When would it have been enough? When you’re cold and buried and unable to feel anything anymore?” He turned his gaze down to watch his fingers twist his wand in his hands, an old habit of his that he had long since stopped trying to break. “You were a fighter. But have you decided to stop trying?”

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

TW/CW: Loss of a child, bereavement

May 22, 2026

Cas reminded her that there were things that she couldn't come back from. Parvati simply wanted to remind him that she had hardly had a real say in any of it. She'd joined the DA before she was ever an adult, and joining the reformed Order had seemed so natural. They had won the Second Wizarding War and come out alive; who was to say that they couldn't do it twice? And they had gotten what they had wanted anyway. They had won, but she had lost. She had watched her marriage fall apart; she'd changed careers, tried to find some meaning in all of it, ended up in a relationship with someone else whom she never should have given the time of day, never mind cried over his death… Now, the icing on the cake was that she had lost her own child.

After Cas had sat down beside her, he asked her what "enough" would have been. "When you're cold and buried and unable to feel anything anymore?"

"I don't know," Parvati shook her head, choking up again. She didn't know, but she knew that she didn't want her family to see her as distraught as she was. Sav, especially, didn't need to lose her, too. "I-I don't know…" She felt ashamed that those thoughts had crossed her mind, because she knew that it wouldn't have solved anything for anyone but herself. Her son had children of his own to raise, and she wanted to be around to watch them grow up. That getting to watch them grow wasn't guaranteed, though, made her wonder what it was all worth. Shreya had been ripped away from her so easily, and her grandchildren were still infants…

Maybe that was why it stung so much, Parvati thought, taking in a shallow breath as she tried to keep from crying so hard again. All she had done to prevent everything that had happened hadn't been enough. Going above and beyond her best and feeling absolutely trapped at times… Everything that she had had to hide from her children and the relief she had felt upon seeing Sav in the crowd as the Order reformed. She'd been so stupid.

Parvati continued to look down at her cup. "I-It just hurts…" she emphasized, a heavy sob following her words. "I can't… I can't look at my… my own grandchildren without breaking down," she admitted. Ollie and Minnie reminded her too much of her own children on occasion that it was just too much to bear. It hadn't been that long since Sav and Shreya had been that little, and she hardly knew how to comfort Sav with the loss of his twin when she was sure that he must have felt that his aunt Padma and his own twins' remaining alive was a mockery of his grief. She had her sister, and she was alive and well. How could she tell him anything to sympathize with how broken he must have been feeling?

"I've… been back and forth from my parents'," she added quietly. (And I've lost my damned mind, she wanted to tell Cas.) "I… felt it'd be easier to meet Ernie here," and it probably had been, insofar as minimizing the potential for drama. They didn't need any more. "I hadn't… hadn't seen him cry in years," she said, shaking her head again. How it had to be for her ex-husband to cry wasn't something that Parvati wanted to think about much, all the times when she wished he could have shown more remorse for what he'd done. That hurt her, too, more than she wanted to say, but she had begun to cry again herself.

Casimir Elias Karkaroff

[Casimir Elias Karkaroff]

It was hard to remember that Parvati came from a pureblood family too, because they had always been worlds apart in what they had experienced and grown up with. Parvati had always been one of the angels. A classmate of Harry Potter’s, the classic Gryffindor who hadn’t hesitated to join the resistance against Voldemort in order to defend her friends and values. After the Second Wizarding War, her name had become almost as well-known as those of the core group, one of those brave witches and wizards that had risked everything to defeat the worst Dark wizard in recent history and restore peace to the wizarding world. It was a nice story, even if Cas had always grown up hearing the other end of it. But, even though her blood was pure and as steeped in magical history as his, they weren’t similar at all. She didn't know what it truly meant to be a pureblood, all the expectations that came with it, because her parents and her community had never forced her to learn.

Cas had grown up in a much darker world, one that had been on the losing side of the last war and which had left the consequences to be faced by the next generation. He’d been living under his father's and uncle’s shadows his whole life, and faced with the heavy burden of being the head of the family from a young age. He was the oldest of the new generation of Karkaroffs, and that gave him a responsibility that most non-purebloods couldn’t even fathom. Non-purebloods had always been taught that what they wanted, mattered. That they should strive to find their own happiness, and take care of themselves before going to take care of others. That wasn't so for Cas or his kind. Cas had learned what sacrifice meant from a young age, and that he should freely give everything if it meant protecting his family and advancing its interests. His parents had taught him, in their own twisted ways, that his happiness didn’t matter. It was about the family, always the family. So Cas didn’t balk when it came to paying a heavy price, not if he knew what he was getting for it. That wasn’t a sacrifice anymore, it was just the business of being who he was. He'd found his small forms of resistance, but at the end of the day...he'd been taught too well. He would never truly turn against his family, because it would mean turning his back on everything he was too.

But Parvati had never faced that hard choice before, and he studied her distraught face as she was finally starting to learn what it meant to give such an essential part of yourself for a cause bigger than yourself. What ‘for the greater good’ really meant. Cas couldn’t bear to see the pain written so clearly on her face, so he turned his head and went back to examining the warm cup in his hands. He took comfort from the burning heat he felt in his palms, even as he had no intention of ever raising it to his lips. He nodded slightly as Parvati admitted that she couldn’t see her own grandchildren without bursting into tears, and acknowledged all the pain she felt inside. “It doesn’t matter what you do to cope in private,” he said quietly, speaking an old pureblood truth he had grown up with, “As long as nobody else sees it. Eventually, the act you show everybody else will become real.”

Perception matters. Perception was the only true reality. They were old lessons, hard-won lessons that anybody who had grown up in the traditional style would have learned. At some point, the masks you wore for the other purebloods became your true face, and anything else you thought you were or could be just faded away completely. Cas had fought to hold on to some semblance of his own identity, and he knew Ana did too. That was where her rebellions came from – becoming friends with Muggleborns and other unsavory types, taking on increasingly more bold and dangerous work for the Order, and even doing so independently from her older brother. They were attempts to hold on to her identity outside of being a Karkaroff, of trying to be more than just a pawn for the family game. It was an admirable effort, but Cas knew – eventually she would lose, and he would too. These rebellions were temporary. The family always won. He had enjoyed working with the Order, he could admit it now. There was something thrilling about the danger, about finding a cause that wasn't solely about the family interests. But he couldn't continue along that path now, nor could he just return to what he'd always known. He wanted to find a new path, maybe one that didn't exist, and that thought...it planted seeds of doubt and fear inside him. "I don't know what to do either," he admitted quietly, staring hard at the cup in his hands. "The Order, and our mission...it's over now. But it's impossible to go back to who I was before the Order. Or to become what Harry wanted for me."

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

TW/CW: Loss of a child, bereavement

May 22, 2026

Parvati hated that she was at a loss for what to do from there. What was worse than having her world shattered and put back together again as a teenager was growing up and finding out that it never really ended. They would start to pick up the pieces of what was left, as they had all the way back in 1998, but a war and whatever they wanted to call what the past few years had been—a resurgence in violence, at the least—was more than enough. She didn't want to keep doing the same thing every twenty or thirty years until her luck ran out. She couldn't; she was tired.

As Cas reminded her that it didn't matter what she did in private as long as nobody saw it, she shook her head. Even that could only last for so long. For Merlin's sake, that was how her marriage to Ernie had been… for years. If she could just grin and bear it, what he was doing behind closed doors didn't exist to her or to anyone else. Parvati knew that she had been able to keep up that façade for longer than she should have, but she hadn't wanted to ruin her reputation or her children's lives. Staying together for the sake of Sav and Shreya and pretending to be happy had taken its toll on her emotionally, yet somehow the blame kept shifting to her. She had a son and a daughter and a thriving career, and nothing was wrong until it was, until she had gotten out and only then discovered that the affair had gone beyond intimacy to another set of twins born before her own.

She knew how hard it was. It might not have been the same as in the families like his that were more inclined towards the Dark Arts, but she knew. Cas's voice began to lose its harshness, however, and Parvati glanced over at him as he spoke to see that he was looking down as he admitted to her that he didn't know what to do. "The Order, and our mission… it's over now," he said. "But it's impossible to go back to who I was before the Order. Or to become what Harry wanted for me."

"Cas…" Parvati's voice matched his in its quietness, and she set her tea on the coffee table so that it wouldn't spill. She reached out and touched his shoulder lightly, knowing that he probably didn't want to be hugged again. He was a good person, even though he didn't always seem to think of himself that way. That hadn't changed just because it seemed like the need for the Order of the Phoenix was coming to an end. "I-It's okay," she told him shakily. It began to hit her that he wouldn't have as much involvement with the sorts of people who made up most of the Order anymore, at least not as regularly. While it was safer for him that way, certainly, because of what he did for a living, Parvati would have been lying if she were to claim that her heart wasn't breaking a little for him.

"Cas," she repeated, "i-it's okay." He obviously needed some consolation of his own. "You've done… You've done more than enough." Cas had gone far beyond many others in terms of the role that he'd played, and Parvati didn't want to see that diminished. "I'm not going to talk like you're dying," she promised him then, her voice breaking slightly as she massaged her thumb against his shoulder. It was important that he remained careful, of course, but he had a whole network of people to whom he could turn if he needed them. She then brought her voice back down. "Please, just… Take care of yourself, darling." That was all she could ask of him, to stay cautious. "I know you know that," she added. He didn't need her to mother him, and she wasn't at all trying to suggest that he couldn't handle himself.

Casimir Elias Karkaroff

[Casimir Elias Karkaroff]

Change seemed impossible. Cas had grown up in a world that had stayed the same for hundreds of years, even thousands, and survived all manners of impossible obstacles. He’d been taught that change was dangerous, that it led young purebloods astray and diluted the power of their blood. For a long time he had believed it too, that the idea of becoming someone different, of learning new things – it was the same as throwing your identity away completely. How could one person know better than the teachings of hundreds who had come before him? He had allowed the thought to consume him for so long – but Cas was a cursebreaker too, and that had shown him a completely different world. He’d seen the remnants of lost civilizations, empires that had risen and fallen and become forgotten. He had learned that change was not only possible, but an inevitable fact of life.

And those witches and wizards that had resisted the change, that hadn’t learned how to follow the pull of the universe into a different future? Cas had excavated their tombs and temples, those last broken reminders of a way of life that had been left behind and forgotten. He was determined to know better, to do better than they had – and that made him a radically different kind of pureblood than the world he’d grown up in. He’d soon found that he didn’t belong to that world, even if he had gotten quite talented at pretending otherwise. His mask was flawless, his performance was constant. But he had found the Order of the Phoenix, and that had changed him too in a deeply indescribable way. Cas didn’t know what kind of man he was. But…sitting with Harry and strategizing over a pint, or gazing into Claire’s eyes in the dim light of a safe house, or even these contemplative talks with Parvati…Merlin, he’d started to see a different world these last few years. And some small part of him, the piece that had been untouched by the harsh realities of a pureblood’s life – well, it mourned the possibility of a world that would always be just out of reach for him.

You’ve done more than enough. Cas had never heard those words before. He had been the head of the family for so long, a sort of parent to his younger siblings even as he filled the vacuum that had been left by his father’s absence and his mother’s slow withdrawal into the insanity of her own mind. Cas had never had a real parent, or a mentor, or someone to guide him. His family demanded so much of him, all of him, and he had never been told that he was enough for anyone. Cas gave a shaky exhale, and forced himself to turn away from the remorse he felt deep inside. It was hard to accept that the Order was gone now, and with it the only part of Cas’s life that had given him meaning since he’d left cursebreaking. All that was left, all that would ever be left in his life, was the family. The responsibility. He laughed dryly and shook his head. “We’re surrounded by death, and still both here. Doesn’t that say something about my ability to take care of myself?” he murmured, setting the cooling cup of tea down and glancing over at Parvati. His tone turned contemplative, and a little distant. “I suppose we’ll see each other soon enough, at any rate. Whenever the next enemy reveals itself.”

parvati patil macmillan
(I am so so sorry that you've had to wait so long!)

[parvati patil macmillan]

TW/CW: Loss of a child, bereavement

May 22, 2026

It took Parvati a moment to fully recognize that the sound she had heard was Cas's breath and not her own. He didn't shed a tear, though, and shook his head. "We're surrounded by death," he observed, "and still both here. Doesn't that say something about my ability to take care of myself?"

Parvati wanted to concede that maybe it did… but maybe it didn't. Shreya hadn't been helpless; any young witch who went straight into training to become a Mediwitch upon leaving school could hardly be described as "helpless". She hadn't raised her daughter to be helpless. Shreya had been capable of taking care of herself—maybe too capable at times. It was all down to… something. Karma or luck or Merlin knew whatever else dictated who lived and who died when; whatever it was, it didn't feel right.

"I suppose we'll see each other soon enough, at any rate. Whenever the next enemy reveals itself."

Merlin, don't say that. It was difficult not to want to shake Cas a little, and Parvati found herself gripping his shoulder firmly but nowhere near hard enough to leave a mark. "You're always welcome here, Cas." She didn't care if he felt compelled to have to transform himself using Polyjuice Potion beforehand. Whatever the case and however far he felt the need to slip into the shadows, her door was open to him. "I-In case something happens"—and Parvati wanted to touch wood just to avoid tempting fate, but she couldn't keep herself from tearing up—"I-I want you to know… how very grateful I am." She hated the thought that they might never speak again, yet she knew that not speaking was better for Cas. He had risked his life enough for ten people.

Casimir Elias Karkaroff

[Casimir Elias Karkaroff]

This conversation felt so final – and in a way, it really was the end of this long chapter Cas and Parvati had been writing for years. The unspoken accomplishment of the Order, and the brief time they’d split into opposing factions, was its ability to bring together witches and wizards of such different backgrounds. People that never would have met or worked together under any other circumstance. Cas wasn’t the sentimental type, but it didn’t take a softened view of the world to know that he’d made friends in the Order. Unlikely friends, ones he didn’t see often and who certainly didn’t share his complete perspective of the world…but friends nonetheless. And now this period was coming to an end, and they were starting a new and uncertain chapter. Of peace, if the Ministry was to be trusted (which Cas, like any good pureblood, absolutely didn’t).

But he couldn’t admit to himself that he was drawing out the conversation because he didn’t want it to end. Parvati had been the contact he’d worked with most in all his time with underground movements, a constant partner in Ouroboros and the Order. They’d established safe houses together, strategized over ways and means and ends…but at some point they’d become friends too. She’d never doubted his intentions for being there or why Harry had chosen to recruit a Karkaroff, even when others had actively voiced their doubts and accused Cas of spying and everything else. He’d forced himself to drink English tea while they chatted at her Hogsmeade place about non-work subjects, just like they were doing now, and even sat in contemplative silence after deeply impactful events like Hermione’s death.

And he couldn’t find it in himself to admit that he was going to miss her company and her gentle influence on his world view. He gave a slow exhale at Parvati’s words and took a sip of his cooling tea. “There’s nothing to be grateful for,” he said, but that alone sounded too nostalgic. Too personal. So he added resolutely, “It was just business.” That was something everyone would expect him to say – ever the cold and impersonal businessman. It was well-known in Knockturn Alley and even beyond that Casimir, like the rest of the Karkaroffs, didn’t have a heart. Merlin, maybe he did need some distance from the events of the last several years. He had thought that he was donating his time and expertise to the Order, but Cas was starting to realize that it had changed him in ways he hadn’t even discovered yet. Cas sighed slightly. “Have you spoken to Harry yet?” Cas hadn’t found the nerve yet, although he knew Parvati and Harry went way back. Maybe she had heard from their leader – some guidance, some idea of what came next.

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

TW/CW: Loss of a child, bereavement

May 22, 2026

Cas replied by saying that there was nothing to be grateful for, but Parvati—in spite of her overwhelming grief—knew that wasn't true. "It was just business." But it wasn't, and Parvati knew that even Cas didn't really think that way. She knew it in the way he was closer to tears than she had ever seen him.

In an obvious attempt at changing the subject, he sighed and then asked her if she had spoken to Harry yet. It was a valid question, though, given his importance to the Order… and to most of the people in it on a personal level.

"No, I… haven't done," Parvati told Cas honestly, though she felt terrible that she hadn't spoken to Harry. He was probably struggling, too, like most everyone else. "I know I need to write him or… something," she agreed, though it was hard enough to get her words out verbally. Going to the effort of writing a letter felt like more than she could handle. "…Have you heard from him, Cas?" She knew that she needed news from Harry, good or bad.

Casimir Elias Karkaroff

[Casimir Elias Karkaroff]

It didn’t surprise Cas to hear that there hadn’t been any communication among the senior members of the Order. That was never something the organization had been good at – in times of tragedy and grief, everybody tended to collapse into themselves. The same thing had happened after Hermione’s death and it had taken Ouroboros months to get back into working order, and even longer to realize that reconciliation with Heliopath was the best path forward. The fire at Hogwarts had come as a shock, and the abrupt death of Elaine Dupree even more so. The Ministry had to clean up the Purifiers’ mess now, and the Order had suddenly found itself without a clear purpose. So it didn’t shock the Karkaroff to hear that everybody had been left in enough of a listless state that the chain of command had fallen apart.

“Not yet,” he admitted in response to Parvati’s question, “But I plan on stopping by Godric’s Hollow soon. I do…owe him an explanation.” Debt was a strange topic for Cas, one that he saw differently than most people. He’d never been much interested in simple galleons when there were much more interesting forms of currency out there – secrets, favors. He was aware enough of that world to know that it was dangerous to be in someone’s debt, and he had worked hard over the years to always find himself with a clean slate. If he didn’t owe anyone, then it left him free to do his business and grow his influence. But he couldn’t deny that he owed Harry for bringing him into the Order. It was a dangerous assignment, and the chances of death had been high all these years…but it had brought more light into Cas’s life than the dark he was always surrounded by.

Parvati seemed to be more or less on the same page – she knew she needed to write him, but couldn’t seem to find herself to move. Cas sighed and moved to set his cup down on the coffee table. It couldn’t quite be considered quitting, since the Order had no purpose anymore, but it would be hard to explain to Harry that he needed to take a step away. The fall of the Purifiers meant drastic changes were coming, and the odds were naturally against Cas and his way of life. He needed to retreat into himself for a while, tend to the family business, keep his head down until the wind started to turn in a new direction. And that meant cutting ties, at least for now. “I might be abroad for a while. It’ll be hard to reach me,” Cas said distantly, although he didn’t add any more details. For the first time in a long while, he didn’t have a clear plan. Just wait…and hope for the best.

parvati patil macmillan