late night feelings | nate

[evelyn rhea oliveira]

You take the sane in me

and tear it like a page

August 18, 2026
Nathaniel David Forrester

The summer had flown by, and it was a couple weeks before she’d be off to France for her final year of schooling. Evelyn felt strange about it, especially since it was a brand new environment and brand new students—she might as well have been a first year. Luna was playing in the league now, though she couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow that Simon, of all people, was on her team. Still, Evy trusted Luna to tell her this time rather than hold out for two months like the previous Spring. The summer was filled with trips to Quidditch Matches, spending time with her sisters (separately), and seeing other friends. There were faces she realized she’d missed seeing mainly because she had seen them so often at school, but she would adjust just as she’d been forced to do time and time again.

The world still felt like a lonelier place without her brother, and her family could hardly even gather properly to mourn him in any way. It still stung more than she’d cared to admit, and then with the addition that her closest friend would not be with her at school, she just felt a bit off. Evy stuffed her hands in her pockets, walking down the familiar cobblestone paths of the village she’d visited time and time again. Evy had visited Diagon Alley to finish gathering the rest of her school supplies and visit Mina while at work. Still, she wasn’t sure when she’d get to Hogsmeade again and not having access to Honeydukes and Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum.

Her bag had a simple supply of sweets that should last her before she had to write home or wait to visit during the holiday break, but as she paused on her walk, she glanced up at the gloomy sky. The type of gloomy clouds that weren’t for rain but just to hang low and make you miss the sun, and anything happy really. The weather seemed determined to remind Evelyn of that uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach that was a combination of hunger and loneliness. But, as she looked forward again, she saw a flashing and over-the-top sign for pizza. Well, that didn’t seem like a bad idea after all, but she knew it was late—they might be closing. Still, it was worth a shot. Plus, in her mind, Jimmie owed her for conscripting her into the school’s newspaper.

Pushing the door open, she didn’t hear many voices, just people lingering until the very minutes before closing time and very bored employees behind the counter. However, her eyebrow raised up as she recognized the furrowed brow and annoyed expression of one employee who had a bit of red sauce splashed on his apron. Evy approached the counter slowly. ”Well, Forrester. I see you’ve traded chess for pizza.” Evy could admit to herself she missed bothering him when he clearly wanted to be left alone in the Common Room and their conversations, among other things.

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[Nathaniel David Forrester]

now you see me.

HOGWARTS HAD EXPLODED AND RUINED NATE'S graduation. He was bitterly indebted to the school that had taught him refinement and power, but that didn't mean he would forgive the complete lack of coordination that the Ministry had displayed in its attempt to save all the students, but allowed the school fall. And yet, he had still accepted his internship within the Accidents and Catastrophe's department - which he found utterly ironic given the circumstances. It was a poor paid position, and Nate was already infuriated at all the paper pushing and 'observations' he was doing. He also couldn't pay his rent.

The clouds hung low and fat over Hogsmeade, Nate's neck still chafed from the second-hand tie he'd worn at the Ministry. Every weekday he awoke with the first streaks of sunlight and in the evening he cashed out spotty, greasy teenagers stuffing their faces with Blishwick's famous lovesick pizza. Though it wore him down to the bone, it meant that Nate could eat, pay the rent on his tiny little flat above the pizzeria, and squirrel away just a few sickles every month to put towards a proper place to live. He was miserable, but he was too stubborn to give in.

"It's four knut for a bottomless refill," Nate drawled dully, the magicked register pinging happily when he dropped the bronze pieces into the drawer and it slammed shut on its own with a whistling sing-song. Mr. Blishwick had a flair for the dramatics. If he heard one more rendition of What's New Pussycat, he was going to throw the jukebox out of the window. Luckily, the day was just miserable enough that few ventured into the Emporium as his shift wore to a close.

On the counter just below the register, Nate was noting down Risk Assessment Observations when he heard the door jingle open, though he refused to acknowledge the new customer before he was vocally summoned. One thing he'd learned from the Emporium was that people really took choosing a single tomato pasted bread product very seriously. However, rather than the demand for a disgustingly named slice, it was a voice Nate hadn't heard in quite some time. His pen stuttered to a stop, the nib pressing to deeply into the paper that it bled ink as he blinked and slowly lifted his head, refraining from appearing too shocked.

"Pays better," Nate replied slowly, his brows furrowed in an expression that would look suspicious if Evy Oliveira didn't already Nate well enough. She looked almost cheerful, her windswept hair decorating her face and tickling her slender neck. She looked the same, he thought, no different after being displaced from Hogwarts. He'd heard all the expected students after the summer were being spread across the globe at various magical schools. Though his graduation had been ruined, he was glad not to suffer such an unpredictable fate.

"What're you doing here?" Nate asked, his nose scrunching as he closed his notebook and tucked it away in the front flap of his tomato sauce stained apron. "Hot date?" He teased, his eyes casting across her face and to the empty space behind her. "We have the Love Bird Special." He commented, smirking thinly as he busied his hands by arranging the row of condiment baskets located near a stack of menus. She looked good, he noted with a bitter draw of breath. For some reason, that bothered him. 

evelyn rhea oliveira

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[evelyn rhea oliveira]

You take the sane in me

and tear it like a page

August 18, 2026
Nathaniel David Forrester

Nate seemed to pause as she announced her presence. She couldn’t help but smile a little at his familiar face. It was good to see him. The way their school year had ended left everything feeling so disjointed for Evy. She didn’t get to say a proper goodbye to her friends as they graduated their Seventh Year and even her other friends who would either end up in the United States, France, or wherever Durmstrang was. Nate was one of those people that she had connected with, surprisingly. She wouldn’t admit out loud that she missed his smug face.

”I was passing through.” Evy admitted, approaching the counter to lean on it casually with her forearms, her head tilting curiously. Nate inquired on whether she was here alone, and she didn’t answer right away. Instead keeping her eyes trained on him. ”And if I am?” It wasn’t an answer, but it was curious that he would jump straight to that. But, it felt natural to fall into this cycle of questions and answers and just overall engagement with him. She stood up straight again, turning so she could lean on the counter. The place was hardly full, not like she used to see it during the school year. There were just a handful of people here this late. ”No date for me tonight, I’m afraid.” Evy finally answered his question.

Turning back around, she looked at him again. He looked the same, slightly different haircut—she noted but the same. It was nice to feel something familiar in these times. ”How have you been, Nathaniel?” Evy finally asked, genuinely but just enough that she still used his full name.

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[Nathaniel David Forrester]

now you see me.

NATE WAS SURE OF VERY FEW THINGS IN HIS pathetic life in recent days. There was one thing he was sure of in that moment - Evy was not just 'passing through' the Pizza Emporium. Nobody in their right mind passed through the campy, theatrical establishment by chance. So he tilted his chin up in an unconvinced nod, tongue in cheek, but he said no more on it as he tucked his notebook away and busied his hands like a good, incompetent worker. His eyes flashed over her face, looking for honesty as she shrugged off his accusation.

"Well... I'd say I hope he likes his slice with a side of phlegm." He muttered teasingly, turning towards Evy fully and leaning against the register, his hands flattening on the polished vinyl top as he tilted forward to get a better look at her. "Good," He replied with finality, his eyes shifting slightly to look for another worker, anybody who could take his place so he didn't have to talk to Evy behind a ridiculous restaurant counter, like some kind of pleb.  She looked as refined as ever, cut in expensive lines with a soft pink to her cheeks and a bitten colour to her lips. He'd missed that, he realised with a sharp, shameful twist of his gut, the easy existence of someone tolerable who actually sought out his company.

"Fine." Nate replied sharply, the perfunctory reply that revealed no weakness. He was eating fine, he was feeling fine, he was working fine. It wasn't quite as simple as that, but the simplistic reply was better than the miserable truth. "I mean," He gestured to the neon sign of a love heart pizza slive hanging above his head with both hands. "I'm in pizza paradise," He drawled in a dull, sarcastic voice, blinking lazily as he gave her a long and unimpressed look. "What about you?" He asked after beat, tucking his hands into his checkered work trousers. "I mean, can't be better than me, right?" He smiled thinly, adopting a cocky posture. 

evelyn rhea oliveira

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[evelyn rhea oliveira]

You take the sane in me

and tear it like a page

August 18, 2026
Nathaniel David Forrester

Evy gave Nate an unsurprised look. She supposed she could have countered with the fact that her hot date could have also been a ‘she’, but lingering on the topic of her love life only reminded her only of the lack of a love life. Living at home, preparing for the next school year, was hardly the same as interacting with her peers at Hogwarts. And even when she visited Luna in Belfast for a day or two, that time was limited. But his approval at her lone arrival made her raise an eyebrow. ”Good?” She questioned, continuing to lean on the counter though tilting her head slightly with curiosity. ”Why?” She questioned simply, her eyes never leaving him for a few more moments. ”If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were jealous for a moment, Forrester.” Evy smirked playfully.

While she would have liked to say it didn’t matter if he was jealous or not, the thought was enticing. It felt good. It meant she was able to get a reaction from him. But the dismissive way he answered her question didn’t give her confidence. Nate’s walls might as well have been Mt. Everest as Evy recalled the glimpses she had seen behind them during their previous school year. Her eyes looked above her at the sign above them. It was bright, flashy, and ridiculous in true Blishwick fashion. Seeing that reminded Evy to give Jimmie a pass on being so intense when this was her life. ”I don’t know. Being shipped off to school in France where I know about three people is hardly paradise.” Evy’s face grew a bit more serious as she leaned back onto the counter. Part of her wished she had gone with her mother’s plan to homeschool her. At least she’d be somewhere familiar.

For a mere moment, that collected exterior that Evy so relied on fell as she stared off to the side at the stack of menus that Nate had just fixed, but she only let it last a moment. It still felt strange, and she hadn’t admitted to anyone that she was afraid to go where she didn’t know anyone. Luna wasn’t there to talk to. Nate wasn’t there to annoy when she needed a distraction. Her other friends weren’t there because they’d graduated or were going to the States. She wasn’t even in France, and she already felt lonely, and that void left behind by her brother and the way her sisters hardly had time for her. The void that liked to remind Evy that it had never left. ”So. How long are you trapped here? Maybe we can catch up for old time’s sake?” She raised an eyebrow and softened her expression as she looked at him.

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[Nathaniel David Forrester]

now you see me.

NATE DID NOT DO JEALOUSLY. HE DIDN'T EVEN like to think of himself in such a mood. It played havoc with his ego, because though he was prone to it as naturally as he breathed, it was just something he never appreciated being called. Then again, Evy had a way of saying things that eased the blow. She wasn't taunting him, she was testing him. Those big, earnest eyes flickering all over his face, as if she were looking for something honest. He would only disappoint her.

"Think highly of yourself, eh?" He teased her back, brows lifted as he turned to one side and broke the contact. Her stare was intense, even from a distance. There were a dozen unanswered questions between them, like half finished pieces of artwork. Hogwarts had burned up, and neither of them had ever gotten any satisfaction. He leaned on the counter, arms straight and posture hunched as he watched her situated herself in front of him. Nate felt his hackles rise gently as she bemoaned her brand new fate. He had forgotten, of course, given that it was a topic that no longer concerned him. Hogwarts had been destroyed, the remaining students needed to go somewhere.

"France..." He drawled, leaning across the counter and in to her personal space. "Where everybody is hot, drink wine, and speak like they fuck?" He clicked his tongue shamelessly, not a shred of sympathy to spare. "I think you'll be fine, Evy." He pushed off the counter, cuffing two of his fingers under her chin gently as he turned and untied his apron. He was leaving the pizza place, whether there was cover or not. Nate was not quite ready to say goodbye to her just yet.

In reality, as he'd turned, Nate had seen the doubt in Evy's eyes. She was actually afraid, and he hated her a little bit for it. Nate was stuck in a boring internship, slinging pizza just to pay his rent. He'd switch places with her in a moment. He had figured, in the moment, that if he didn't press upon Evy's new wound, she might forget it was ever there. Let her think about the beauty of France instead, it was far more palatable.

Then, she spoke up and Nate hesitated, the apron halfway up and over his head. "Two minutes," He said, turning and disappearing into the back. He wound his way to the office, apron in hand before he stuffed it messily into his locker. After that, he slinked along to the office, where he poked his head in with a frown. "I have to go- family emergency." He shrugged, trying to look pensive as the acting line manager looked up, sighed and fired off the same four questions. Nate didn't listen, just reiterating that he needed to go. The manager stood, but Nate was already gone. He'd only had about a half hour before his shift was over. It was a mess he'd make up for later.

Back in the front of the pizzeria, Nate noted Evy still standing there before he braced one hand on the front counter and leapt over it, his jacket threaded through one arm as he did - half in, half out. He slid the other through after landing, nodding his head once at Evy with a slight grin. "C'mon," He declared, motioning her forward with a tilt of his head. "Let's give you a proper send off then." He poked her once in the side because he knew she was ticklish, in an effort to rush her out of the door before his manager seen them. 

evelyn rhea oliveira

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[evelyn rhea oliveira]

You take the sane in me

and tear it like a page

August 18, 2026
Nathaniel David Forrester

Evy gave him a slight smirk before he looked away. Satisfied enough that she got a bit of a reaction from him, though not a full confession. Still, it would be asking a lot of Nate to keep his eyes focused in one direction—she’d learned that much from their time at school. But this interaction? Well it felt normal—it felt good. Like a reminder of times that were simpler and much more fun. All those times, the simple actions of sitting far too close to him as a simple reminder of what he couldn’t have. Or the one time she’d let him get a bit farther, only to ‘suddenly’ remember she had to run to class—another less than gentle reminder that he would go as far as she let him. ”No, but I think you do.” She expected a denial, but she would respond, nonetheless.

But, the end of the school year had been abrupt, and this was the first time she’d seen him since. Everybody had gone on with their lives. As Evy spoke about her education future and its uncertainty, Nate leaned in far too close to her. Evy didn’t move out of the way, and Nate was hardly sympathetic. She should have expected that, though she realized some small part of her wished otherwise from him. While his fingers grazed her chin and he began to remove his apron, Evy chanced a question. Truthfully she doubted she’d have a chance to come back to the village before she left for the beginning of the school year, though Nate could easily just say ‘no’.

She hoped he wouldn’t. The idea of leaving her home for a foreign place left her uneasy, and she wanted to be distracted. It couldn’t have been just chance that she’d run into someone that had never ignored her before, right? But, he responded—though quickly running to the back. Her eyebrows raised in some surprise. Thankfully he didn’t see that, so she pushed away from the countertop and turned to look at the interior of the Pizza parlor while she waited. She heard footsteps quickly approaching, and as she turned, Nate lept over the counter, rather gracefully she might add, and with that trademark grin of his.

Evy followed him out, walking by him though flinching when his fingers dug into her side. It was an involuntary response, of course. It was unfortunate for Evy that Nate was aware of just how damn ticklish she was, and she had no doubt he would use that to his advantage if he wanted to. ”Hey!” She protested, grabbing his hand as they exited the Parlor. ”So, where to now Forrester?” She asked, eyebrow raised but still holding onto his hand and still standing as close to him outside was was needed for them to fit through the door. This all felt very familiar, so very familiar.

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[Nathaniel David Forrester]

now you see me.

WITH A LIFT OF HIS BROWS, NATE ALMOST answered Evy with a similar quip. "Of you?" He said instead, tongue in cheek. And then, just because he could, he did not confirm or deny the claim. Turned his back and looked busy instead. Truly, Nate thought highly of himself. Even when he was at rock bottom, he still felt as if he were above it all. As for Evy, well that was a conversation for another time. Not a topic he felt particularly interested in expanding upon.

After that it was almost like Nate was being timed. As if, should he leave it too long, the moment would pass and whatever it was between him and Evy, it would dissipate into the wind. There was a certain freedom for Nate, knowing she was leaving for France soon. Like he could say, or do anything and it wouldn't matter, because she would not be close enough to second guess it. Plus, he'd missed her in his own twisted way. Missed her sharp tongue, and her endless teasing. Miserable in his current situation, Evy represented a familiar reprieve.

Coat slung over his shoulders, Nate led them both outside of the pizzeria. The streets hustling with the last of the rush. It was just before Nate would finish, though he could never escape the tangy smell of tomatoes and cheese. Tugging on Evy's hand, he took her little ways down the street, passing the front of the pizzeria and ducking his head to avoid his managers searching stare. Turning the corner, he swiftly changed course and headed down an alley at the side of the building. At the bottom was a loosely chained fence that Nate just pulled half of and ducked to slide between the gap. He let go of Evy's hand briefly, beckoning her forward impatiently. "C'mon, it's not illegal, I just can't be arsed getting my key." He explained with a shrug, holding the gap for her to slip through.

The fence closed off the supply route at the back of the pizzeria, and three other establishments on Hogsmeade's main street. The exit sign gleaming menacingly above the restaurants sign, overshadowing the side door just a little to the left of it. Nate did take out his wand for this, casting a quick spell to undo the lock and hopping a suspicious looking puddle to climb the steps. He reached behind him for Evy's hand, ignoring any prying questions as he led them up a very narrow staircase, the hum of the pizza ovens rumbling through the thin plasterboard until they turned a right corner to walk above it, where a small level was set in a three wall alcove. In the centre wall, a carved wooden attic door.

It was not a particularly homey set up, but Nate couldn't complain too much. It was cheap, and it was his own space. He unlocked the door with an old brass key from his trouser pocket, wand tucked away once again as he flattened himself in the short hallway to let Evy passed. This time, he spoke, "You've reached your destination." Closing the door behind them with a self conscious shuffle. It was not much, the small hallway opening into a single open space with a kitchen crowded into one corner, a bed and living space into the other, by the high, round windows at the front of the building. A separate bathroom could be found in the back corner, but that was new. Courtesy of Blishwick Enterprises, Nate reckoned. "Please, take your time touring the estate." He told her dryly, shrugging out of his coat and hanging it on a solitary hook by the cramped front door. 

evelyn rhea oliveira

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[evelyn rhea oliveira]

You take the sane in me

and tear it like a page

August 18, 2026
Nathaniel David Forrester

It almost felt like she was back at school. Like she wasn’t going to be shipped off to another country shortly away from her best friends and family and anything else that was remotely familiar. And it felt good like things were normal. It had been what Evy had craved all along, a sense of normal and familiarity, and somehow Nathaniel Forrester met those requirements. Evy was always someone who relied so heavily on stability that when something changed—it tended to leave her a bit lost. Like when her brother died, she’d felt like a ghost until she didn’t, and now the familiar Hogwarts was gone.

But with her hand in Nate’s it reminded her of all the times she would interrupt his chess games or ask what he was drawing. The times he happened to be the only one also in the Common Room at some odd hour in the night. Not that Evy would admit aloud that she missed him. While it was fun to see him, it was less fun if it all went to his head. After they left the pizzeria, it felt like a maze as they turned a corner and down an alley and paused in front of a fence. She gave him a side-eye and then carefully went through the gap. Just like breaking into empty classrooms in the dungeons, the alley felt similar.

Evy had never been in these alleyways before, she’d never thought to look either, so while they walked a bit, she glanced around at her new surroundings before looking forward and seeing his outstretched hand. Without hesitation, she took it and watched her step as she walked up the steps. ”Where are we?” She asked, still glancing around, but Nate didn’t answer. Finally—the end of the maze. And they reached their destination. Evy wasn’t sure what she’d expected when initially following him. As Nate moved to let her pass, she slid by, probably a little too close despite the narrow hallway, and she looked around. It was small, but really, she couldn’t help but grin. What she would have given for a small place of her own.

It had felt that her whole life had been spent in a shared bedroom of sorts, only getting some space when her siblings were off at school. ”I like it.” She spoke genuinely. Evy took further steps forward. It was a lot neater than she imagined it might be. Then again, her only example for a boy’s living space had been the mess her older brother used to keep in his room. And her sisters varied, with Callisto being the neatest. Near the small living space, she spotted something else familiar—the chess set. Evy paused and looked back. ”Still playing, I see?”

She turned back around, and she slipped out of her coat, placing it on the sole chair she found but then she paused. Evy saw sheets of paper covered with various charcoal sketches scattered haphazardly on the small table next to her. Her fingers touched them lightly, so she wouldn’t get charcoal all over her hands, but while the first page on top looked like scenery, the one sticking out from behind caught her attention. Gently Evy pushed the one on top to the side to expose the one underneath, and the one behind it looked similar too. Her face was curious, and she tilted her head to see it better before turning to ultimately face the table. It was a rough sketch, but of a girl, and she looked focused on something. And moving that second page to the side a bit, she could see the third better—again a girl, but looking like she was in thought. Were the features familiar? Perhaps. Evy kept inspecting them but spoke. ”Someone on your mind?”

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[Nathaniel David Forrester]

now you see me.

HOVERING BY THE SHORT HALLWAY, NATE'S EYES followed Evy as she slowly entered his space. He felt restless at the way her head moved as she slowly took in the meagre space. It wasn't a penthouse, or a manor of any kind. Just a tiny little piece of shit flat that stunk of garlic and pizza sauce, no matter how often Nate spelled the room free of it. He scratched at the back of his neck, the only outward display of nerves as he shifted his weight.

Evy broke the spell by mentioning Nate's chess set. He cleared his throat, coming back to reality and looking over to where she was inevitably drawn. "You've got a one track mind," He teased her, pushing off of the wall to follow her across the room. It was unrolled on the ground, right by very small wrought-iron table near his bed. The piece had come with the flat, but Nate had been sure it was some kind of old, ornate garden furniture. He hadn't questioned it. A single chair was sat by it, a humiliating display of Nate's bitter loneliness.

On the table lay Nate's drawing utensils, haphazardly rolled charcoal, an iron sharpener and leaves of paper, used and unused muddled together. Toeing out of his boots, Nate watched her take off her coat with a kind of comfort he hadn't expected. Making herself at home as her head bent and she carefully began to inspect the various half-finished sketches. Nate didn't think much of it, he was still eyeing the game of chess left rolled upon the floor. He'd won, of course, but the unfortunate reality of playing himself meant he also lost as well.

Lifting his head, Nate was drawn to Evy's side slowly. A tentative shuffle that brought them shoulder to shoulder. He peered down at his sketches and felt a well of horrified realisation come upon him. The sketches she was looking at, of eyes and noses and the sharp jut of a stubborn jaw. They were all of her. 

Nate reached out and snatched a drawing out from under her, smearing the delicate charcoal where it lay under her prying thumb. They were all of Evy, somewhere between lockpicking and Simon Svendsen's mushy little nose under his closed fist, Nate had become fascinated by Evy's face. By depicting it with great detail, but that had become difficult after graduation as he'd had no real reason to see it and his memory had offered a poor rendition. Too sharp where she was soft, too soft where she was razor sharp. "Are you being coy?" He asked her through gritted teeth, carefully turning the pile on itself, only to reveal more drawings on the reverse sides of the papers. He huffed in frustration. "Or, maybe I'm just not very good." He muttered, shifting his gaze from the papers to Evy's curious expression. 

evelyn rhea oliveira

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[evelyn rhea oliveira]

You take the sane in me

and tear it like a page

August 18, 2026
Nathaniel David Forrester

Evy noted Nate’s presence next to her as she looked down at the drawings. Her fighters only lightly touched them since charcoal smudged. She noted the faint black stains on Nate’s fingers as he played chess in the Common Room—at least when his knuckles weren’t still healing from whatever fight he’d gotten himself into. The flat wasn’t much, but Evy had grown up always sharing a room and sharing her things, and the idea of having a space all to oneself was the epitome of luxury in her mind. Once again, she’d be in a dorm full of girls but in France and where she only knew a few faces rather than the ones she’d met at eleven at Hogwarts.

She twisted her head to look at the sketch from a different angle. Her brain jumped to a face and a name but was it likely? She must have imagined it, and asking for confirmation only seemed like a fast way to embarrass herself. Evelyn Oliveira wasn’t a girl that ended up on anyone’s mind. Not even her own family’s. Always lost in the shuffle of five children where at least one was always in a crisis that required everyone’s attention. Before Evy could work up the nerve to ask, Nate’s hand reached down and moved the papers, charcoal smearing under her thumb, and she retracted her hand. Nate’s reaction told her that these weren’t meant to be on display.

There was the wall he so often put up with her. Like that time in the dungeons where she’d asked about his hands. The way he so quickly could distance himself from anyone in one moment and then get far too close the next. It was frustrating in more ways than one. Evy would grow angry or annoyed at his barbs to keep her away, but he’d no sooner be behind her defenses again. She looked at him. All sense of any teasing or control had dropped from her expression. There was a wonder in those normally cold gray eyes, and she opened her mouth slightly to speak, but nothing came out. ”No—I—“ She what? Evy didn’t stammer, especially not when around Nathaniel Forrester. Finally, his eyes moved back up to meet her own.

”Nate…” Evy slowly reached down and gently placed her hand on his, pausing for a moment before moving it aside, and she picked up one of the drawings. A face at a slight angle, eyes looking off to the side but at nothing in particular, light hitting her jaw in such a way to appear as angled as ever. The true gift an artist had, Evy decided, was the ability to share how they saw you in such an ordinarily impossible way. Nate wasn’t one for many words, but he had art. ”Nobody has ever...” She admitted in a soft voice though trailing off. This feeling was strange—Evy felt vulnerable seeing her likeness in charcoal and knowing she was on his mind. All that time, Evy had carefully kept him at a distance so as to not be discarded. Looking back, Evy didn’t judge. She didn’t jeer. Evy simply spoke honestly. ”These are really good.” Even if they hadn’t been of her, he was talented all the same. And the knowledge that one person thought about her made Evy forget all about that loneliness she’d been carrying.

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[Nathaniel David Forrester]

now you see me.

IT WAS MORTIFYING TO HAVE EVY FIND HER drawings and not even recognise her own face. Though he could not be sure how serious she was about her confusion, Nate still found it irritated his ego. They were like that, the both of them; knocking the feet out from one and other at every chance. However, a fate worse than being deemed untalented was being considered obsessed. The array of different compositions, all of the same face, gave the impression of fixation. Nate wasn't obsessed, he wasn't fawning over her. He just liked her face. Unfortunately, he couldn't convey that in a simple, cool sentence, so he didn't say anything of it at all. Luckily, she seemed no more collected than he was.

Recognition filled Evy's cheeks with a soft, pink blush and he stared at the slightly darker spot on the apple of her left cheekbone. His name was spoken softly, affectionately, as her hand lay gently atop his own. His fingers had inadvertently began to crinkle and fist the delicate paper. He froze in his destruction the minute her small hand touched his. Warmer than the cold skin at the back of his knuckles, so it seared him through to the bone. "Ever what..?" He drawled, his voice purposefully devoid of any real emotion. He had stopped looking at her, very deliberately removing his hand from under hers to gather the loose pieces of paper into some kind of organised stack.

The compliment came too late, on the back of her stuttered nerves and Nate paused for a minute. The stack of papers clutched between both hands before he laid it very carefully in the middle of the rusty table. "Okay..." He replied, clearing his throat and rolling the charcoal into his cotton wrap before tying it hastily. "It's not like it's serious, or anything." He told her with a sniff. "They're just drawings, helps clear my head." He shrugged, the words insinuating that he wanted to be clear of her.

Stepping away from the table, Nate walked himself the meagre few feet backwards to his rickety bed. He fell on the mattress with a dull squeak, propping his upper body up with hands curled against the carefully made up blankets. "So, is this how the French do it?" He asked her with a tilt of his head, eager to move on from his pitiful little hobby. He leaned forward, pulling a small tin from under his bed and prying the lid open. Inside was a very small collection of rollies and joints. He took one of the latter out and propped it between pursed lips. 

evelyn rhea oliveira

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[evelyn rhea oliveira]

You take the sane in me

and tear it like a page

August 18, 2026
Nathaniel David Forrester

Nate reverted to his usual tone, his usual expression. The Nathaniel Forrester the world knew and what he wanted them to recognize. It was a subtle switch to the wide-eyed boy holding his drawings, looking almost guilty. The thing was, Evy had seen glimpses of that Nate whether he realized it or not. But just tiny glimpses for a split second. And this was the longest she’d ever seen that side of him. Evy felt a little off balance. Nobody had ever done that before, and certainly not for her. Nobody remembered Evy enough by the time they sat down and picked up a pencil. But Nate did. And not even just in passing. The drawings she had glimpsed were mostly of her profile. What the world saw when she wasn’t aware or looking, but he was.

But Evy held back her words as well. They had stuck in her throat. How did you admit that you felt forgotten? It was such a stupid thing to admit and feel. And as a few had reminded her, she had a family. Three older sisters and two parents, how did you feel alone with all that? But she had grown frustrated with how they saw her, as the youngest, as if she hadn’t just watched her school burn to the ground. Nathaniel Forrester was rude, full of himself, and even dismissive. But Merlin, if that cold, intense stare from those green eyes didn’t stop Evy in her tracks sometimes—not that she’d let him have the benefit of knowing that. He abandoned his drawings, switching back to that confident swagger and moving to his bed.

Evy had to bring herself back as well, her eyebrow raised curiously as he posed himself and retrieved a tin. She walked over slowly. “I suppose I’ll learn soon enough”. She responded, dragging back whatever resolve she had left. Beauxbatons was an entirely different world in a different country. She casually sat on the bed, and it wasn’t so large that they could avoid being so close together. ”These help you clear your head too?” Her eyes lingered on the joint between his lips before moving back up to his eyes. There was always a line to tiptoe with Nate, maybe just part of their game. Much like the way either could easily control the situation for one moment and then lose it the next. Although Evy somehow had the resolve to take the step back at a point, she wondered if she had that at all anymore.

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[Nathaniel David Forrester]

now you see me.

THE APPEALING THING ABOUT EVELYN WAS THAT she rarely demanded anything from Nate. She stood in his shitty, tiny flat and did not ask why he lived as he did. She knew the drawings were of her and did not demand to know why he insisted on drawing her over and over. She just... looked at him. The bustle of Hogsmeade below apparent through the thin walls, the hum of the parlour ovens giving everything a hazy heat that refused to dissipate.

Nate felt the tension very gradually leak from his shoulders, slouched on his tiny bed frame and watching her through a furrowed brow. She looked regal in her French mystique, all long flowing coats and soft rouged cheeks. He doubted she felt misplaced at Beauxbatons. Just as he doubted Nessa fit anywhere but in the snake pit. The joint stuck to the dry skin of his bottom lip as he perched it between them. Fishing the lighter from his makeshift nightstand, what had once been his Hogwarts trunk. In the meantime, Evy seemed to carefully pick her way across the room to settle in the meagre space beside him. He sighed through his nose, a mixture of defeat and relief.

"No," He scoffed, Nate's eyes hooded as he turned his head to look at Evy as he sparked the end and drew in a sharp inhale. His chest ached with the intrusion, but he held it until the burn ebbed and his head felt miraculously light. "Makes me forget..." He exhaled, the smoke dusting across that rosy-cheeked face until she was all but unrecognisable. "... why I need to clear my head in the first place."

Feeling merry all of a sudden, Nate let his mouth curl into a smile around the joint as he reached up and gently cuffed his knuckle under Evy's pointed chin. Letting it drag against the soft skin, his thumb catching across her chin and very briefly pulling at her pouted bottom lip. "What're you doin' here, Evy?" He asked her lazily, as if he hadn't invited her up. Nate slowly leaned back against the wall his bed lay against, his shirt rucking up so that a strip of skin lay exposed at the waistband of his work trousers. He looked dishevelled, but relaxed, something that rarely went hand in hand with a boy like Nate. 

evelyn rhea oliveira

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[evelyn rhea oliveira]

You take the sane in me

and tear it like a page

August 18, 2026
Nathaniel David Forrester

Despite that cliché ‘something missing’ from her life, Evy always did her best to hide it. Why did she seek the attention of someone like Nate when there were other boys in her class or even in the year above? Not that Evy was picky, as she’d learned in her last couple of years at Hogwarts. But she hadn’t yet met another boy, or even a girl, who could send the same intense chill up her spine just by standing too close. Like some implicit understanding, the topic of the drawings was dropped. Not that Evy would forget. She had it in her mind that perhaps she’d ask about them one day, and maybe she might get an answer.

Evy closed her eyes for a moment as smoke spread and slowly disappeared into the room's space. But what a gift that was—to simply forget. To merely exist without one’s troubles. She leaned slightly against the wall rather than sit on the edge with Nate behind her. But she paused, feeling his hand on her face. Her eyes darted up to meet his. One might have thought a joint would glaze them over, but she found them fixed instead.

And there it was again, how he quickly hooked her in. But in how she was accustomed to, not how she’d felt when realizing those drawings were of her. Like the smoke he’d exhaled, the question effortlessly floated toward Evy. She raised an eyebrow just slightly. He’d invited her up, hadn’t he? It wasn’t as if she’d roamed the empty streets of Hogsmeade looking for him with this goal in mind. Maybe not consciously. Her mind existed in a strange state of apprehension she was desperate to get rid of.

Feeling a little bold, Evy carefully grabbed the joint from between his lips. She sat a bit turned, her legs underneath her. Her arm’s reach forced her to lean in. ”Why’d you bring me up here, Nate.” She mirrored his question. It felt almost reminiscent of one too many conversations in empty Potion’s classrooms where they would try to get the other to blink first. She inhaled, although not quite as deep as he had. And after a moment, she sent the smoke, that burn in her chest lingered. In those days, she would have locked eyes with him in some challenging stare, and even though she would never tire of trying to make him speak his intentions aloud, Evy didn’t look at him yet. ”Or did you forget already?” Maybe the smoke had replaced the space in his skull where his mind once lived, or maybe she just needed to remind him.

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