so far away | one shot

[evelyn rhea oliveira]

Place and time always on my mind

I have so much to say
but you're so far away

December 22, 2024

It's never a serious thought in one’s mind. The foundation of your life is whatever you want it to be, or whatever just keeps you afloat. For Evy, it was her family more than anything. Dakoda, Sarah, Callisto, and Mina forming bricks in the foundation for the youngest child. One gets used to the idea that the bricks will always be there—they would never disappear on purpose. Evy blinked a few times, her mother and father observing her from their positions a the table. Ever since she’d arrived home from school, the mood had been somber and cold. She’d noted it immediately from her father the moment she stepped through the door. As if the doorway was an entrance into a world that was gray and without color.

Evy’s gray eyes fixed on an old family picture on a table near the front door. The five of them were all pushing each other playfully, a giant grin on Dakoda’s face and Mina almost toppling over Evy’s small frame. She must have been eight going on nine years—which meant her brother would have just graduated from Hogwarts. While he’d focused on his own life and things like a girlfriend after that, it never meant he left a letter unanswered from Evy or that he didn’t give her a big friendly grin when he saw her. But now it made sense. Dakoda had stopped responding to her letters, and she hadn’t been surprised when she hadn’t heard from Sarah—she was the most distant of them all, but Evy was always asking about Sebastian. Confusion had been apparent on her face when she’d walked through the door and seen him.

It hadn’t taken her mother long to put him down for a nap, and then they’d sat her down, their faces grim. She might have been barely sixteen, but Evelyn knew what it looked like when someone had been crying. Something bad had happened, and her teenage mind raced with options. Her heartbeat furiously in her chest, and she knew her dad was saying something, but Evy didn’t hear it. All she could hear was ringing and the sound her heart made as it beat against her chest, but the sound of it breaking was the loudest of all. Evy blinked a few more times as her vision began to blur, tears had begun to well up in her eyes, and she took in a shuddering breath finally as she returned back to the moment. Looking down, she saw her mother had grabbed her hands. They were cold.

”I don’t—“ Evy tried to speak, but the lump in her throat was stopping her. Her arms were covered in goosebumps, and a lone tear fell down her face. It couldn’t be. There had to be some mistake, right? ”But he just wrote to me…” That was a lie. It had been months and no letter, no communication. Not even his usual ’I’ll see you at Christmas!’ How was this supposed to be a family Christmas without Dakoda? It was like her mind couldn’t comprehend the loss of one of those foundational bricks. And as much as she tried t push away the feeling of inevitability, it was too much. ”But he can’t be…” Evy looked at her mother and father with pleading eyes, and she could see her mother had started crying again as she squeezed Evy’s hands.

Evy felt her nose begin to run, and she continued to fight the tears welling up in her eyes and the lump in her throat, and she pulled back a hand to wipe her nose with her jacket sleeve. She didn’t care that it was messy. ”Wh-what happened to him?” Her mom and dad looked at each other. ”Just tell me what happened to my brother.” Again, a pause as she asked insistently. Was he sick? What was she missing? Her father cleared his throat ’Ev, sweetie…there was an accident. We didn’t tell you because you were still at school and…” Deran shook his head, speechless as he was clearly holding his own tears back. Evy’s lip quivered. She felt a wave of anger surge through her.

”You should have told me.” She said sternly. She felt so helpless, and now she was clearly the last to know about her own damn brother. Pulling her hands back, she wrapped her arms around her tried to look at anything else in the room that wasn’t her mother and father. But this was their family home, Dakoda’s home. Everything she looked at reminded her of him. Family pictures of the whole family, or one with Dakoda and Sarah when Evy was born. The first thought that came to mind was maybe it was something with the full moon. Had he not taken his wolfsbane? She didn’t want to think about it, but her mind raced with thoughts. ”You should have told me. I wrote to him, and he didn’t write back. I thought—“ She didn’t know what she thought, but Evy was crying now, her voice more congested now.

Stella was now fully crying as well. Evy had lost a brother, her only brother, but Stella had lost a son and her oldest. She had this urge to go find her sisters. She needed to see them make sure they were physically okay. Seeing them would give that permanence. ”And…do the rest know?” She asked quietly. Where were they? Stella nodded, but Deran spoke. ’Yes—Callisto and Mina know…but—‘ Her father stopped short as if his next words would pain him. ’We don’t know where Sarah is, which is why Sebastian is here with us.’ It was another kick in the chest. Evy’s mouth hung open for a few seconds as she stared at her parents. Where the hell was Sarah? Was she dead too in some accident, and they just didn’t know yet. It was like her breath caught in her chest, and she didn’t know how to exhale.

Again her eyes found that photograph she’d fixated on earlier. Sarah hadn’t looked happy in it, a typically annoyed expression and arms crossed as they waited for their father to take the picture. Why did she miss someone who was hardly there? She just wanted it all to be a mistake. Dakoda would walk through that door any minute now and with Sarah behind him. They could celebrate Christmas together, even if they weren’t a picture-perfect family where everybody got along. Mina would drink, Sarah would be annoyed, Callisto would judge anyone that was past two drinks for the night, and Evy would watch quietly, as she always did. She shook her head again as her face contorted in an attempt to not cry, and then her father stood up and wrapped his arms around his youngest daughter, and Evy just sobbed.

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