Standing in Each Other's Shoes [Ilija]

[Rozalina Antonina Nightshade]

Summer 2026
@ilija

Rose hadn't been to Antahasoa in a long time. Back when she was 18, and deciding to study healing, she'd traveling to the small Wizarding village in Madagascar a number of times. It had one of the best healing programs in the world, and as a Nightshade her family never settled for second best. She hadn't done all her training here, of course, but she'd say roughly half of her 2 year training was done here. 

Even after her training, when she'd decided to work back in Russia for a time, she'd still come back to Antahasoa often enough. At least, until 2024. When the few good things in her life ended. Since then, she hadn't been back since. This was a place where she felt like she'd actually made friends and been... normal. Not too many people had known the Nightshade name out here, so she hadn't faced nearly as much fear from those she met. But despite the bonds she'd formed... she'd dropped off the face of the planet even from them. She hadn't kept in contact since 2024, instead preferring to let the memories fade away, because it was better for it to just fade from her memories then be destroyed by her family or life. 

Alas, here she was. Being here, surprisingly made her feel angry. Angry at how simple and happy life had been when she'd been training here. Away from her family, away from the blood thirsty drama, away from the constant threat of death hanging over her head. She felt angry about how she could never have any of that again. 

Rose was here for a purpose though. She needed a very rare potion ingredient that she knew even her most reliable suppliers couldn't get. Why? Because it was only grown here in Antahasoa. She'd never send a black market dealer to get it for her, as they'd likely cause problems for the locals. But for Rose? Well, at least she knew the people and could obtain it legally. Though it still wouldn't be easy. She had an appointment with the head healer at the hospital the next day. Hopefully it went well.

But that meant now she had to wait. The sun was beginning to set, casting a warm glow across the sky, as Rose made her way back towards the small inn she was staying at. As she approached though, she saw someone that... She'd never thought she'd ever see again.

"Ilija?" She couldn't help but speak up, a slight hint of surprise in her voice. Why was she surprised though? He'd lived here after all. But well... she'd put most of her time here behind her after all. It'd been years since she'd seen him. 

[Deleted]

Ilija hadn't been able to sleep all that well ever since returning to the place he still felt was most like home. No matter his stay in London, he didn't feel at home there and his love for his siblings was the only one that had kept him grounded. Hannah had always loved the warmth and he could deal with any weather. Eeva loved the cold, but it was odd to think about her, here more than anywhere else. Two find two people that looked so alike but were so different... It seemed almost impossible. Still, it happened. He'd told Felix he was going out for a stroll and had made his way around the town, briefly stopping by the graves of his fiancee and child. He'd been on his way back towards his friends house when he spotted a familiar face he hadn't expected to ever see again.

She seemed to recognise him, which made sense. She'd been there all those years ago when he'd lost everything. His future wife, his child, and his leg. At least he still had his parents and siblings. It was the only thing that had kept him going. "Roza?" He said, a small smile on his face as he approached her. He couldn't help himself as he hugged her for a moment and found himself pulling back, looking her in the eyes.

There was something off there. Something wasn't quite right as he looked in her eyes. He'd known her to be like himself before his accident. A happy young woman, passionate and motivated. As he looked in her eyes it was almost like looking in the mirror. That same empty void he'd only recently come to terms with. Years, that was how long he'd taken to come to grips with the face he'd lost Hannah and Floyd. He was finally moving forward, but it was impossible not to recognise that look. "Roza?" He repeated, a little more hesitantly now. "What happened?" He felt a hint of steel slip into his last syllable. He knew her family was horrible. He could only imagine what it took to break somebody so utterly that their entire personality changed, he'd been through it. For him there had been nobody to blame, but he wouldn't be surprised if it was different for her.

Rozalina Antonina Nightshade

[Rozalina Antonina Nightshade]

Summer 2026
@ilija

Rose has only begun her training when she met Ilija and Hannah Fortescue. They were curse breakers working in the area. She hasn’t known Hannah for long though, as only a few months after her arrival there was the accident that had killed Hannah and severely injured Ilija. She’d seen how it had broken him. To be honest though? She’d known the shell of a man far longer then she’d known the happy version of Ilija. She remembered helping with his treatment and recovery.

Ilija seemed a bit… different though. He didn’t look quite as empty as when she’d last seen him. That isn’t to say he seemed totally different. Just a little less empty. Or maybe it was because she’d fallen into the void herself since she’d last seen him. Ilija knew bits and pieces about her, more then most people did now a days. He knew she was a Nightshade and some of the more public… abominations her family was known for.

He spoke, smiling and moving to give her a hug. That was… surprising. Rose couldn’t remember the last time she’d hugged someone. She hesitated a moment before lightly returning the gesture, though it was more out of courtesy. It wasn’t that she was unhappy to see Ilija. She just wasn’t a physical contact person now a days. She didn’t push him away though.

When he pulled back and asked what happened she stared. Her usually harsh icy gaze was softened just a touch but she knew it still must be colder then he was used to. ”What do you mean?” she asked, though also knowing what he meant.

Rose didn’t want to talk about everything that had happened. So, instead, she changed the subject. ”I heard about your father. I’m sorry,” she’d been in the UK in April. While she’d been worrying about her own thing then she liked staying up on news and saw the article in the paper.

[Deleted]

As she asked what he meant, he couldn't help but simply raise an eyebrow, as if that was enough to convey that he wouldn't buy a half hearted explanation meant to placate him rather than actually inform him. He was quite aware of how utterly terrible her family was, so naturally he considered them first as potential culprit for having her look so... broken. Not quite in the same way as he had been, because she appeared full of resolve, as if her motivation was the only thing that kept her going. Like a ghost with unfinished business.

"I think we both know perfectly well what I mean." He said in his rather calm 'older brother' tone of voice. He didn't really use it a lot, least of all after falling out of touch with his family. His sister and brother were old enough by now that it wouldn't make sense for him to pull the big brother card, except in a few very rare circumstances. Like whenever Vas was overworking herself or when Felix was jumping to a few conclusions much faster than he ought to.

Then she mentioned his father and he shrugged. "It was time. I'm blessed I got as much time as I did to say my goodbyes and make sure everything that we needed to talk about was sorted out." On that point, Ilija had become almost overtly practical. He'd done his crying a long time ago, shortly after the diagnosis. After that he'd needed to clear things in his mind to assure that the knowledge he would lose his father one day wouldn't break him, or rather the last bit of him that could still be broken. He realised how lucky he was for what he'd gotten to share with his father, an how much more that was worth when they could speak so freely, knowing their time together was so limited.

Rozalina Antonina Nightshade

[Rozalina Antonina Nightshade]

Summer 2026
@ilija

Rose knew that Ilija was not easily fooled. A broken person could easily spot another broken individual. But had she ever.. not been broken? She wasn't sure. Her upbringing made her question what it even meant to be whole. Her entire life had been one of chaos, betrayal, and death. She just finally hit the point of no return. As Ilija gave her that knowing look she stared back with little expression. She'd never say she was a particularly happy person before, but she'd never been this expressionless. His stern response got a sigh out of her though as she ran a hand through her hair, looking away as she thought. Finally though she looked back at her old friend, an almost sympathetic look on her face. "Do you really want to discuss such a heavy topic after such a long time?" She asked. She wasn't refusing to answer exactly, but it seemed a bit sudden to blurt out how chaotic her life had been since she'd left the small village after her healing training.

Ilija's reaction about his father was curious. It really did seem like he'd made his peace, and had no regrets regarding it. She wondering how that might feel. "I'm glad," she answer slowly. Glad that he was able to say his goodbyes. Still, why was he here? She was sure she'd heard that he'd left. It wasn't a big community after all. "Are you back to work or just visiting?"

[Deleted]

Did he want to discuss such a topic? Interesting question, as he'd never really wanted to talk about his own pain and loss. He'd avoided it for year and years, but that was kind of how he knew one thing for sure. It didn't work. Everybody needed somebody to talk to. It didn't have to be a grand person, but it needed to be somebody. "I'm fairly certain neither of us feels like entertaining small talk, so we might as well discuss something useful." He stated almost dryly. Not quite a sense of humor, but more that sense of irony in two people that both know exactly that they'd never quite feel right sitting in a silence that they would prefer over the conversation ahead. Bothersome as it was, it would do both of them well.

"Visiting, unfortunately. I moved back to the UK, but I can already feel myself getting restless. That place was never my home after we left. I'm showing my brother Hannah's...." He paused, taking a deep regretful breath that he let out in a reluctant sigh. "...grave." He finally concluded. It was the first time he'd openly used any words that acknowledged the impossibility of Hannah's return around her. He'd clearly processed it somewhat, even if the pain of it all was still very fresh. It was better, now that he didn't feel quite so alone. "I hope it'll help him process the news. I fear I waited far too long in telling it." She'd know exactly what he meant, as he'd evaded the truth even during his recovery. It had been rather unhealthy, but it had helped him rehabilitate his body. Now, it was the turn for his mind. "Would you like to sit down for yours?" He asked, raising a brow at her slightly. Depending on how bad it got, sitting down could make things easier.

Rozalina Antonina Nightshade

[Rozalina Antonina Nightshade]

Summer 2026
@ilija

Useful? Rose had to think about that. When had talking ever been useful to her other then as a tool to manipulate? That’s all it really was to her, especially over the past few years. When she was younger she might have deluded herself into believing differently. Rose’s head cocked slightly to the side, eyeing her old friend. Facing people that had known her somewhat well before her world burned was difficult. Everyone knew she was different. Everyone wanted answers. But would she give it to them? ”The past isn’t useful to me,” she slowly answered. Though it still wasn’t a refusal to answer.

Rose looked away. Thinking again. It wasn’t really a secret. Ilija knew at least a fraction of the atrocities her family had done, from the rumors and from when she was still in training. But that didn’t mean he knew just how horrific her family was. She’d withheld most of the truly dark history, though she’d never denied it’s existence. Finally Rose looked back at Ilija. ”Are you certain you want to know?”

Well. That was a first. Ilija hadn't spoken about Hannah’s death to her, never really seemed to want to admit aloud she was dead. Though there was also a bit more confusion in the mention of a brother. Was she remembering Ilija’s siblings wrong? She’d thought he’d only had sisters. Though that point seemed irrelevant right now, considering everything else Ilija said. ”At least you finally told them,” she answered. She didn’t know how long it’s taken him, since they’d been out of contact. But his words made it seems like it had been quite a while.

It seemed he still wanted to hear her own news and she ran a hand through her hair. Well, if he wanted to hear it that bad… ”I’d rather have a drink while I tell you,” she answered honestly. She might not look like it but she drank a lot and it wasn’t just because she was Russian. But since that might not be the best option, she let out a sigh and looked around for a place for them to sit. She spotted a bench and headed towards it, motioning over her shoulder for him to follow. As she sat down she pulled out her wand and silent cast a sound muffling spell, so no one might over hear.

(Almost forgot that rose wouldn’t know that Felix transitioned)

[Deleted]

The past wasn't useful to her? Well perhaps not, but it was certainly impacting her a lot more than she was outwardly admitting. She wasn't the same person he'd grown to know and care for over the time they'd shared in Madagaskar. She'd helped him in his recovery, although his body had been far ahead of his mind. By so many years even. "Perhaps not, but it takes something big to change a person as much as you have." He said, though his sharp remark was softened a lot by the gentle tone of his voice. He knew what loss felt like, even if he didn't really know how hers had shaped up. Guilt and loss and anger, they could all be wrapped in some convoluted web that seemed rather inescapable. He knew he'd never change back to the young man he'd once been, but he was finally ready to pick up the pieces he'd once been unable to imagine bringing back into his life. Like his deep desire to have a family. It hadn't died, as the bracelet he wore with his sons name engraved on it proved. But he was far too young to give up on that dream.

Rose certainly had gotten more quiet and pensive than he remembered her to be. She asked if he was certain he wanted to know and he didn't need to consider. As a cursebreaker he'd seen some of the darker and most disturbing things that people were willing to do to each other. Sometimes for nothing but petty greed or reasons beyond his comprehension. History left more remnants of human cruelty than their kindness in it's wake. "Yes." He said softly, with a nod as added confirmation. She didn't need to face this entirely alone. He'd never seek out her family with what he did know of them and he didn't think they'd bother turning him into a target. If they did, well his job was generally dangerous enough that a fear of death was only functional to keep him alive. It kept him on his toes more than it limited him. It was supposedly not very common.

He nodded as she mentioned he'd finally told them. "Vasilia felt the same, though of course she was hurt I didn't open up sooner. Sharing the burden and all of that. I think she was mostly mad I took it all on myself. Two peas in a pod I guess. Felix, did I tell you my younger brothers new name? Well, he was more angry. Felt I'd been keeping secrets. I really wish it'd been different. That I could have been there for him as he rediscovered his place in the world. I doubt I'd have been much help though, all things considered." It was hard to consider how he could have helped when he was barely managing to survive himself. Maybe he'd have lost whatever remained of himself in trying to help others. He saw it in his sister, for a part.

Ilija walked with her, the limp in his gait still not fully gone after five years. It was one of those things he accepted by now, just like the panthom pain that he still experienced, and the various nightmares. Some things were unlikely to ever be different, but as he sat down beside Rose on the bench he felt an odd sense of normality. Like this was one of the few moments where it almost felt for just the shortest of second that both their lives hadn't changed so dramatically. Naturally he motioned for her to start, fully aware that any sense of things being normal was likely to be blown out of the window any second now.

Rozalina Antonina Nightshade