fireflies [selene]

[LUNA LACHESIS TRELAWNEY]

Midnight, 30th April 2027

Luna Trelawney had been slowly but surely sucking the poison out of her life. The first had come months ago, her reunion with Simon and their subsequent love affair that had blossomed into possibly the proudest Luna had ever been. Then, there was her scuffle with Evy, with both girls acting foolishly over a pair of boys. They had been friends for years, and what sort of nonsense was it to let Simon and Nate come between them? Though Luna knew Evy's approval of her boyfriend was tenuous at best, they had repaired their relations for now at least.

Last and perhaps the largest source of discomfort in Luna's life was to heal the bond with Selene. The Trelawney family made a ritual of attending Walpurgis night each year, and despite Selene's newly reclusive behaviour, Luna knew that she would be here. It was a matter of getting Selene to listen to her apology. For nearly a year, she had been proud and stubborn, refusing to face the truth before her. That her fear had gotten the best of her and she had bottle it up and lashed out at Selene. Seventeen years of growing resentment, culminating in one traumatising evening. Luna didn't even know where to begin.

Since their showdown, Luna's visions had become increasingly frightening. There worst of it had been the vision of the blood magic on Halloween, a memory that Luna tried her best to shut down. Luna could only hope that upon begging Selene's forgiveness, she'd be able to gain some level of control over her visions. Either way, she had to try.

Luna left Simon with some other Quidditch players, with Chazz at the heart of it all, being the riotous harbinger of tom-foolery that he was. Almost like a sixth sense, Luna was able to find Selene, who was not so much enjoying the celebrations as surveying them with a sour face. Luna froze, her mouth going dry. She had done this. She had broken her sister. The soft and understanding and sometimes too clever for her own good Selene, now a husk of the bright girl she had once been. Luna swallowed thickly, forcing herself forward. "Selene," said Luna slowly. "Please, wait. Can we speak?"

@selene

[Deleted]

Selene had never wanted to attend the usual Walpurgisnacht celebrations. She'd wanted to stay at school and study for the upcoming exams but between a guilt trip from her parents and her not wanting to let down Phoebe, she'd eventually and reluctantly decided to go. She hadn't wanted it and had brought one of her books along, planning to use the time to study. There was little point to doing anything but study, was there? Still, there was that creeping feeling that something very unpleasant was about to happen. That feeling that had once upon a time served as a pleasant reminder that her sisters were close. Not it was nothing but a nuissance, since she could all but guess which sister she was currently picking up on. Of course she couldn't hide from Luna. Her delightfully picture perfect middle sister would only have an easier time finding her now that they were no longer separated by a comfortably large distance between them. Selene could almost feel the impending doom of potential visions of the future. A fate she'd barely suffered since Luna had decided to no longer have her around. For the better, obviously.

Knowing by either power or instinct that her sister was coming for her, Selene put her book away, awaiting the arrival of her sister with much dismay. She didn't want the girl around any more than vice versa and she hoped it was a mistake that Luna was heading this way. She looked at her sister with nothing but cold disdain as she approached. She wanted to talk? To speak? Selene scoffed for a moment and deliberately crossed her arms as if that'd be enough to ward against the very existance of her sister. "Sort of hexing your tongue to the top of your mouth I don't think you're planning to give me the option not to speak." Selene noted rather dryly, her eyes cold as she looked upon her sister. "So just spit it out and get it over with. What do you want? If you plan to gloat a little more, I will hex you. I thought Durmstrang would be far enough away for you, but if her royal highness needs more space to distinguish herself I'm sure I can move to Australia after graduation. That should be plenty of distance." She spat at her sister. She wasn't really in the mood to be civil, or even kind. She'd been patient more than long enough. Years and years of trying to help both her sisters and to make Luna see her visions were not any less important just because they happened in real time. Years of wasted time and breath.

But she was done now. She no longered cared and had enjoyed almost a full year free of the burden of the future. Why on earth would she want to go back to the way things had been? The past couldn't be undone, but there was clearly not much of a future without the present, and Selene liked it that way. No pesky little emotions or care to stop her own personal development. No concern for her family beyond Phoebe to hold her back. Not feeling? Liberating.

LUNA LACHESIS TRELAWNEY

[LUNA LACHESIS TRELAWNEY]

Predictably, Selene had sensed Luna's presence. The triplets, despite their growing differences, could always sense one another when in somewhat close proximity. While the dread built up in Luna's belly, she was certain it was nothing compared to the ice she was sure had coated her sister's soul. The Selene she had grown so resentful of would have forgiven her immediately, intent on holding together the heca-three and weathering any storm. The lack of response from Selene spoke volumes to Luna, who knew that she had broken something within her. She could only hope that it was possible to be repaired.

When Luna found Selene, she begged her sister to stay, to listen. Selene bit back with words dripping in venom, carrying on with a tirade before Luna even got the chance to speak. Every nasty thing Luna had thought of herself after blaming Selene for so much bubbled up to the surface, and Luna cursed the prickling at the back of her eyes as Selene cycled through exactly what she thought of the middle sister. "I hear Australia is quite nice, actually. If you ignore the massive bugs," she noted, then cringed. Absolutely the wrong thing to say.

"No Selene I... I wanted to apologise. For driving you away. For blaming you for everything," said Luna, reaching out to grab Selene's hand, then thinking better of it and letting her hand drop limply to her side. "I was afraid and stupid. And I took it out on you, wrongly so. I always felt so... unimportant. And insecure. Like nothing I could do would let me be Luna, and I was stuck as one of the weird triplets. I'm so sorry, Selene. I know it's not enough but... I hope it can be a start?" asked Luna hesitantly, searching Selene's deadened glare for the girl she hoped was still in there somewhere.

@selene

[Deleted]

Broken? Perhaps, although Selene felt shattered to be a better descriptor. She'd completely lost her faith, in the world and in her family. A part of her had been naive enough to believe that her sisters would never turn on her, no matter how rough things got. That they understood just how much of a burden their gifts could be. Then Luna had gone and turned on her and Selene still didn't know how to cope with it. Her sister had questioned her abilities before, which hurt. But this time she'd both questioned her ability and at the same time blamed her for an event that was traumatising and catastrophic. The awareness had hit her like a freight train. Her sister didn't understand after all. Phoebe was too innocent and naive and nobody questioned her. The events she saw had long since happened and there was no point to question the truth in it. Luna saw things as they happened, as they were set in stone. Yet the future could change and there was little to no way to find out when an event would take place without the vision including a very clear date. Months of vague dreams about fire before the event had hit, and she'd been too worried nobody would believe her. She'd been proven right not to trust anybody, not even her sisters.

Luna hadn't changed one bit it seemed. Australia being quite nice. A very cold and humourless smile spread across the face of the eldest sister. So it was more distance then? Done, although she wasn't sure if Australia was a big enough country to hide from her family. It was worth a shot, she supposed. At the very least it had the chance of render her curse utterly useless. It was so much weaker without either of her sisters around, but Selene liked it that way. She no longer desired to be seen as part of a unit any more than Luna did. "I managed to ignore you for half a year. I'm sure the bugs there prove less tenacious." She said in a cold tone, but her eyes sparked vaguely with malice. Luna was only here to ensure that Selene wouldn't return, wasn't she? Easy peasy.

But then Luna decided to do a 360 and claim she wanted to apologise. For just a single moment Selene was dumbfounded by the mere idea of Luna managing to utter anything remotely resembling an apology. But of course it wasn't much of an apology. It was more of an explanation behind her actions disguised as an apology and it really wasn't good enough. Selene took a physical step back in disgust at the very motion of her sister attempting to reach out. "And now?" She asked in an almost amused little tone. "Going through an identity crisis and needing to make amends so you can keep seeing yourself as the little angel you want to believe you are? I'm no longer her to help you battle your supposed insecurities. You always knew better anyway so I don't see why I wasted so much time trying. No Luna, you have nothing to worry about. You can be Luna, the quidditch star. And I can be the memory so vague and weak that you need Phoebe to bring it back to the surface. Let's both just hope that Australia is far enough away that neither of us needs to remember what we once used to be."

She was hurt, but Luna had made it abundantly clear what she wanted in life. First after the fire, and now once again. She didn't want to be a part of three. She wanted to be singular and have the light shine on her alone. She only had to hang in until graduation and then upon the night of the first new moon Luna would find herself as close as she could be to a single-born without shoving Phoebe out of her life too. Surely she'd be able to bear being a twin? If not, Selene could write Phoebe. Still running seemed rather pointless right now. Even if she walked out she had a suspicion that Luna would opt to follow her around to supposedly make amends. If the girl got too irritating she could always lie, right? At least that'd get her off her back.

LUNA LACHESIS TRELAWNEY

[LUNA LACHESIS TRELAWNEY]

The cold smile that spread across Selene's lips was uncharacteristic of the eldest triplet. It seemed that she had changed more than Luna had expected, had morphed into a creature of her own undoing. Luna managed to sputter out an apology, and there was a flicker of relief when she saw Selene's surprised face. Had she really sunk so low so that her sister wouldn't expect her to apologise? Luna knew she was difficult at best, and a terror at worst, but not so bad that her sister had lost all faith in her.

In the split second it took for Luna to finish speaking, she caught herself wondering. What was it that made her the way that she was? Resentment had been steadfast in her life, the uneasy feeling of being less than either of her sisters. Both Selene and Phoebe had tried to console her, to explain that they were all equal, but that had made it even worse. Luna had wanted to be different/ Not equal. Her ambition had driven a wedge between the two people she had wrongly assumed would always be there for her.

"I'm no angel," Luna replied, her brow furrowing as her temper bubbled to the surface. She tried to think of calming things, long rides on her broom, lazy mornings with Simon... "But I don't have to be an angel to admit I was wrong. I should never have blamed you. And I am so, so sorry," said Luna, something softening within her grey eyes. "I don't want you to go to Australia either, but it's not really about what I want anymore, is it?" she added, her tone even. "If you decide that's what's best, then fine. I won't fight you. But I want you in my life," she trailed off, wondering if Selene would simply storm off and leave Luna ruminating on all the things she had done wrong.

@selene

[Deleted]

Selene felt very uneasy about this entire thing. She wasn't fully sure what she wanted, except perhaps revenge of some kind. Some sort of justice to balance out the years of abuse that she and Phoebe had put up with at the hands of Luna. Just something to even out the board. Or was what she truly wanted to be separated from her sister in such a way that nobody would ever make the mistake of thinking they were the same person? Something that truly made her unable to be considered one third of the triplets. Or did she feel that burden ought to fall on the one that had always wanted to be a singularity rather than a part of three?

But Luna with her eternal need to compare all to otherworldly beings instantly got on her nerves. "Saints and Angels.." She muttered in annoyance, shaking her head slightly. "Lucifer was an angel once, you know. Before his rebellion." Selene noted rather dryly. He'd rebelled against his family and in return they'd demonised him and cast him from their home. Maybe she really ought to consider changing her name and going down a similar path. Selene caught the change in the eyes of her sister. So she was really sorry? Really trying? Too bad.

A slow and villainous smile spread over the face of the eldest. "You want me in your life?" She asked, thick and venomous amusement coating her voice. "And what exactly are you willing to do to prove your words, little angel? No worries, I don't want you to fall from the heavens or clip your wings." She said as she slowly began to pace in circles around her little sister. "I merely hope for some small token to prove you're serious and not merely seeking a one sided benefit for as long as you can stand the idea you're absorbed into a trinity again." Selene mused, her voice still off in that same tone that was so unlike the girl that had grown up as part of a trinity. A seemingly unbreakable unit. How little there was left of that all. "So what token do you plan to extend as apology and to prove you mean what you say?" She asked, her eyes narrowed at her sister as she considered the option her sister might actually be sincere.

LUNA LACHESIS TRELAWNEY

[LUNA LACHESIS TRELAWNEY]

Luna ignored Selene's jibe about saints and angels. She had to fight down a smile at Selene's further comments about Lucifer - trust Selene to give her a history lesson while she goaded her. It gave Luna a glimmer of hope that her sister was still in there, somewhere. Encased deep, deep in an iron box or something like that. Luna clenched her teeth and took a breath.

Selene's provocations had the desired effect on Luna, but she managed to stifle the emotions that rose to the surface. Words bubbled immediately to her lips - comments on how she didn't need wings to fly and there were charms to make falls painless. Like a lion circling their prey, Selene prowled around Luna. She certainly knew how to put the middle triplet on edge. What would she give to have her sisters back? Almost anything.

"It's not about being absorbed. It's about complementing one another. You know our powers are stronger together, and we are stronger together. I was wrong to question that," Luna admitted, her eyes tracking Selene. What would she give? There was a manic glint in Selene's eye, and Luna wondered if she would carve out her own grey eyes, stealing from her normal vision and trapping her in the world of Sight. Fear coated her tongue, drying out her mouth as realisation watched over Luna. Nothing would be enough to get Selene's forgiveness. There was no part of her that she could give to repair the bridge that she'd broken. But brick by brick, she could build a new one.

Luna's hand jumped to the plait that hung between her shoulder blades. She removed her wand and took a deep breath. It had taken her years to grow her hair to this length - a further differentiation to her sisters, more beautiful, more personal, more herself. Stubborn tears pricked Luna's eyes as she wordlessly severed the braid from her back. Shame heated her cheeks as wetness tracked down her face, and Luna refused to look at the limp braid in her hand as she offered it silently to Selene. "I mean what I say, Selene. We're better together. And I am sorry." Selene would either take it or leave it - but Luna had lost something more than just her hair today. She'd sacrificed her pride.

@selene

[Deleted]

TRIGGER WARNING: temporary insanity, blood, mutilation

Luna mentioned their powers being stronger together and Selene almost felt as if she'd spontaneously catch fire at the mere mention of that. She stopped her prowl and froze completely for a moment as she fought in a statue like motionlessness against the waves of anger washing over her. Then she spoke, but her words were soft, bordering on whispers of prophecy nobody wanted to hear. "I used to believe that too." And she really had.

Then she slowly pushed herself back into motion as she continued, her steps different as their predatory gait had given way to a more slow and contemplative motion. Then she paused as she pursed her lips, tapping them for a moment before she spoke as she chose her words ever so carefully. "Maybe not. I thought we'd be stronger together, I confess. I was a fool, obviously. It wasn't until you broke us apart that I realised what I'd been missing out on. I never got a chance to be myself, to be normal. And yet I found myself capable, no longer blinded by the need to save anybody from the future that awaits them. Our curse is strongest when we are together....." She looked at her sister, but the malice had cooled and dwindled ever so slightly. "And I've been glad to be rid of it. Yet I imagine it might have advantages... when used wisely." Though in her mind the only wisdom in using the gift of foresight had to be for personal gain. Nobody else was going to look out for her, after all. Phoebe was to naive, Luna didn't care enough, and the rest of the family? Too blinded by their belief that Saint Selene would foresee any trouble before she'd run into it.

It was highly interesting to see what Luna considered to be a worthy sacrifice. Something she was willing to give up to restore a bridge far beyond repair. The shadows and the demons that danced around the bonfire on which her sanity had been burned for months now seemed to pause their frenzied choreography for a moment to watch as a deafening silence took over her brain for the first time in almost a year. She took the braid from her sister, watching the tears that stained the face of the middle sister as the silence in her mind provided enough clarity for her to realise that her sister was sincere. To realise that Luna really did want to mend bridges and recover what had been lost. Selene was silent, as for a brief moment her compassion returned. She walked over to the back and put the separated lock of hair back where it once had been. Then she grabbed her wand, reattaching the locks back to where they had been moments earlier. This was an empty lesson.

Looking at the braid she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and releasing it in a sigh. "I'm sorry Luna." She said, and there was a deep sadness to her voice. "But this means nothing. Hair is dead and with time or the right magic words it'll grow right back...." She felt the anger flare up again as the madness fought to regain a hold of her mind again. "And I refuse to be just that. I can see this meant a lot to you." She said, her voice still soft with the gentle tone of the past. She stepped back and softly stroked her sisters face for a moment. Such a perfectly put together picture they seemed to be. Pretty girls. Then she closed her eyes and stepped back as if she'd been burned, stumbling slightly. No. She couldn't just forgive her sister! It wasn't acceptable after everything that had happened. She opened her eyes and she could feel the insanity rush over her. Every single emotion she'd been supressing because she couldn't fall apart. Because she refused to acknoledge just how much this had affected her. A year of studying dark and terrible magic in the hopes of finding anything that hurt her deeper and made her feel more disgusted than the memory of the blame her sister had assigned her and still falling short...

It simply was too much. "I will never be mistaken for you again." She yelled at her sister and she grabbed a small knife from her robes, cutting a large gash in her own face. "Your arrogance, your perfection, your need to be an individual almost destroyed me. Not that I can blame you for that. I never should have trusted you! And I never want to look in a mirror and see your face again!" She yelled in what was quite clearly a severe mental breakdown. "That is the condition under which we shall build these bridges anew, Luna. We will never pretend we are in any way alike again. You can be perfect, and I can stay myself." Then she laughed, or perhaps cackled would be a more accurate description. With a smile she took a very deep breath to calm herself, finally feeling like a weight had lifted off her shoulders. Trembling, she felt the blade slip from her fingers into the grass. She hadn't felt this librated in a long time. After all this time.... there was finally a silent peace within her mind again.

LUNA LACHESIS TRELAWNEY
(I'm sooo sorry bout her bout of madness >.< but at least she's no longer angry with Luna?)

[LUNA LACHESIS TRELAWNEY]

No matter what Selene said, no matter how much Selene denied it, Luna was completely certain that they were stronger together. She'd never felt so helpless and weak as she had without her sisters, tormented by gruesome visions after the three had separated. She would be the first to admit that she missed her sisters company, something she had always taken for granted. Even with the storybook life that had played out since. She laid her pride out bare before her sister, slicing through her long braid that had taken ages to grow, and offering it to Selene.

Luna wasn't sure whether to laugh or scream as Selene essentially denied the meaning behind the gift. Sure, hair would grow back - she could do it herself. But it was the underlying understanding of sacrifice, the pain of losing something that she held dear. It was shoved back in her face as if it had meant nothing, as if the hot tears sliding down onto her neck were part of some immaculate show. Her jaw tightened but there was a deep sadness to Selene's tone. And then, a shift. Selene closed herself off from Luna, from the person she used to be and the glimpse that Luna had caught of her. Selene trembled and Luna opened her mouth to ask if her sister was okay when whatever shackles she had on herself shattered.

Stepping back in shock, Luna stared wide eyed at Selene. They had talked about this before, and Luna knew she had been horrible and wrong. An awful sound rose from Selene's throat and she realised it was supposed to be a laugh. "Selene," Luna managed, getting over her surprise and taking a step closer to her sister. But it was too late. With a flash of silver, the eldest triplet sliced open a deep gash on her lovely face, one that Luna looked into the mirror and saw her reflection in the morning. "Selene, no!" she gasped, rushing forward to Selene but the damage was done. The blade dropped to the grass and emitted a soft hiss. Luna whipped out her wand, trying to remember the minimal healing magic they'd learned in school. Selene was trembling in her arms as Luna tried to support her and heal her at the same time.

"What was in that thing? Why isn't it closing?" Luna asked, real panic in her voice now. She tried again to cast a charm to work on the slice but nothing. Selene was growing limp, whatever having overtaken her leaving her to suffer in its wake. "Selene, please, let me help you," Luna begged, looking around wildly. Without thinking, she tore off her own top, pressing down hard on the cut to try to stop the bleeding the muggle way - if magic wouldn't work, maybe this was.

@selene
so much drama

[Deleted]

Had Selene fully lost her mind? Well, yes! What else would have prompted her to take such drastic actions that were, at best, ill informed. She aimed to separate herself from her twin sisters, Luna above all. She cared about Phoebe but she had to admit that even that seemed to be clouded by the knowledge they all shared a face with Luna. She was going absolutely mad with what she considered to be a betrayal of the highest order. Add to that that it seemed like Luna had her perfect storybook fairytale life and Selene felt betrayed. She'd received letters from their parents, saying she should come home and leave the past behind them. Asking whatever could be serious enough to break the bond they shared as sisters. Clearly they didn't understand. The isolation in her experience had added to her slipping sanity. Phoebe was too kind and naive to be able to understand. Her parents didn't want to break the family and she'd never really confided in her brothers. She'd always placed her entire trust in her sisters. She'd believed them to be her past, present, and future. With that believed shattered to dust she'd scrambled for sanity, and found it in unhealthy practises and places.

The utter shock on the face of her triplet should probably have brought it to her mind that she was losing it, but it felt like a strange kind of vindication that her sister seemed to finally realise just what her choices had shaped. She'd wanted a life without her sisters, or had made it seem that way. There was no easy backtracking away from that. Phoebe would forgive because she was the kindest of the triplets. Selene had allowed the resentment to isolate her as it ate away at her mind and sanity and it was finally bursting free, like the water held back by the dam for a very long time. The floodgates opened and now she couldn't hold it back any more. She'd just forgotten some of the curses she'd practised on her little pocket knife. She glanced down as Luna started fussing and raised an eyebrow at her own work. "Guess it worked." Not that her voice was much more than a whisper. Having a sanity breakdown took energy after all.

Selene shrugged rather calmly as Luna was panicking. Little drama queen. "I hexed it. Practise for Dark Arts. Worked better than expected." She said in a rather analytical tone, as if she'd conjured daisies for charms rather than caused a rather bad injury for herself. Selene grumbled in irritation a little as Luna was pressing cloth to her face. "Oh stop fussing." She said irritably and she pushed at her sister. She was far weaker, that was obvious. "You're just going to get it infected." She muttered irritably. "All I did was make sure nobody makes the mistake of confusing us for each other. Phoebe never had that. She was always easier to recognise and harder to resent." Selene was quite aware of that. It was hard to be mad at somebody that was so pure and innocent. Like Phoebe always had retained a precious part of their childhood that the other two had lost along the way. It was beautiful but it made her so easy to distinguish. "I didn't see anything this last year. You have no idea how much of a relief it was. I didn't know any doom hanging over people while I could count on them blaming me when it happened while they just as easily refused to believe a word I said beforehand. No endless assault on my self esteem, no worries for a future I didn't know how to prevent. For a while I was just a normal girl. I got to fit in, you got to stand out. Why on earth would you wish to change that? After years and years of acting like this last year was the best possible future you could hope for? I just can't comprehend what on earth could make you think that you need us all of a sudden." It was clear Selene wasn't just confused, she resented the inconsistant part. She didn't want to know the future. She didn't long to understand the past. She didn't know if she even cared to figure out the present. She wanted to step out of time and exist in all three at the same time.

No more confusion, no more messes, no more depending on others. Was that too much to ask? Probably.

LUNA LACHESIS TRELAWNEY