run our mouths [addy]

[JOHN ELLIOT CLARK]

Mid-October 2027

Jack leaned against the bar, nursing a whisky as he watched the performer before him finish up his song. He was decent, sure, but he only played covers. Jack had to stop himself from rolling his eyes when the performer concluded a stirring rendition of Wonderwall. Wasn't an open mic night meant to showcase your skills? Not that Wonderwall wasn't a decent choice, it was just the obvious one. Jack was slightly nervous about selecting a song he'd written, but Mal had encouraged him. As usual. His brother had seen a note for this open mic night after work one day, and insisted that Jack, a sickly looking music freak, would be the perfect person for this. He would hear no arguments.

That was how Jack found himself in this exact position - clutching the neck of his guitar, leaning against the bar, and trying not to curse Mal who had disappeared into a dark corner with a pretty girl. It was nothing unusual or new. Jack knew he was an excellent musician, but he also knew he was taking a chance by playing a song of his own. He'd written it only two weeks ago, unable to get it out of his mind.

Jack hadn't spoken to Addy in the past two weeks - and she hadn't sought him out either. Ordinarily, Jack wouldn't worry about this sort of thing. But he had grown rather fond of Addy. Not in a romantic way of course, despite how unbelievably good looking the lass was. He worried about her and having told her so had cracked their arrangement. Jack knew that her heart had belonged to someone else, but he'd worshipped her body in the way that she had deserved.

After a lukewarm round of applause, Jack was called to the makeshift stage. Really, it was a stool with a mic propped in front of it. Jack slid through the crowd, perching himself on the edge of the seat. "I'm Jack," said Jack, rather unnecessarily having been introduced already. "I'm going to play a song I wrote." He strummed his guitar, checking that he had tuned it right. Of course he had. "It's about a girl," he added, a half smile hitching the corner of his lip. He took a few moments to collect himself, swallowing before crooning the opening lines into the mic. "You know I'll be down here waiting. I take you to see your man. When you are done, we'll go driving. Catch the coast in the evening light..."

The words and chords flowed from Jack effortlessly, the emotion behind the song evident in each note. As his song wound down, Jack repeated the chorus. "I love it when you call me lover, ooh lover, ooh lover, ooh lover." And with the final chord struck, he looked out at the audience. There was a beat of silence before tumultuous applause, much more than the previous performer. Jack's cheeks flushed, though he was chuffed all the same. "Cheers," he said, scanning the crowd for his brother. But he found something he hadn't expected. The subject of his song. Addy Slater stared back at him, and her gaze pierced him like a knife.

addilyn elara slater

[addilyn elara slater]

you make my world spin,

placebo feelings

Mid-October 2027
JOHN ELLIOT CLARK

Two weeks had felt like an eternity. It’d been a while since time had slowed down for Addy like that. But after the fifth time of Brígh literally snapping her fingers in Addy’s face because she’d been speaking, and Addy had stared at the cabinet but was lost in her thoughts—Brígh had quite literally pushed her out of their shared flat and told her to go find a nice boy or even a girl to get her out of her head. Addy had insisted she was fine, but Brígh had responded even quicker, informing Addy she was more wound up than the millennia-old spring-based traps in the Valley of the Kings.

It wasn’t something Addy could deny. She hadn’t seen Jack since that little spat, and she hadn’t snuck her way into Puff Palace nor found a way to get her ex-boyfriend in her room again. In her mind, Addy was still adamant that she was not lingering in the past. It would be unlike her to do so. She needed to keep steaming forward, or her goals would escape her grasp. She apparated and found herself outside the Violet Hound--Horizont Alley. So very close to where Cheese was, naturally. With a sigh to herself she walked in, craving something sugary but alcoholic.

Her mind drifted back to him, but also to Jack. They were both so different and Addy felt differently about them. Addy missed the physical presence, and the memories of how his hands felt on her skin were very much still there. Part of her felt bad she'd ghosted him during this time but the other half reminded her why. Walking inside, she heard someone speaking through a microphone as they introduced a song about a girl. The picking of guitar strings immediately followed, and a voice was singing. Much to her surprise, she saw him on the stage. Jack, his guitar, and a microphone though he acted like he was alone in the room. Unfocused on the crowd.

Slowly, she moved toward the bar as the song progressed—leaning against it as she focused on him and the lyrics she caught. As much as Addy had wanted to turn around leave. Run away and hide…she couldn’t take her eyes off him when the song was over, and the applause roared around her. And those piercing blue eyes of his stared back. If Mal was there, Addy hadn’t noticed him. But she waited for Jack to walk off stage before finally looking away. Guitar still in hand, Jack was suddenly near her, and Addy worked up the nerve to look back up at him.

”That was a lovely song.” Addy spoke without the normal sarcasm and bite of her words. The melody and the lyrics…that was the type of song that got under your skin. That was a talent to have that effect using only words and notes strung together. Or maybe the words had hit her for a different reason unless all the songs he wrote happened to be so relatable.

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[JOHN ELLIOT CLARK]

As Jack sang, his focus narrowed to just him and his guitar. The days of stage fright had long since passed, and he crooned the song he'd penned, never expecting to see Addy in this very place. But when he thanked the crowd, pleased at the raucous applause he'd received, he looked up. There she was. His eyes were drawn to her like magnets, blue piercing blue, and he couldn't look away. She was leaning casually against the bar as if nothing was off in the world, as if they hadn't ceased their arrangement on a sour note. Without hesitation, Jack rose from the stool and drifted over to Addy, still in disbelief at her appearance before him.

When Addy spoke at last, it was like the trance was broken. Jack's cheeks flushed once more at the compliment. "And a lovely subject," he murmured, more to himself than anything. "I'm glad you liked it," he added, this time clearly replying to her. Did she know it had been about her? About how he knew she was in love, but the looks she gave him, the electricity between them, it kept him coming back? That despite the fact that neither of them wanted a relationship or any sort of labelled intimacy, she was almost like a drug to him? "Do you want a drink?" Jack stuttered at last, turning his attention to the bar. Two glasses of prosecco were already prepared and waiting, and Jack wasn't about to turn down a free drink. He supposed it had something to do with his performance. Probably the second glass was meant for Mal, but Jack didn't bother casting his gaze around for him. He was certain Mal was preoccupied.

Thus, he handed the flute to Addy, and inclined his head to her. "I didn't expect to see you here tonight," Jack admitted, his face open and honest for once. No games. No catches. "Or at all. Not after last time..." he trailed off, knowing he didn't need to explain.

addilyn elara slater

[addilyn elara slater]

you make my world spin,

placebo feelings

Mid-October 2027
JOHN ELLIOT CLARK

Addy didn’t want to presume anything about the song’s subject. But how the words had hit her despite her walls made her wonder. But she wouldn’t ask. If one never asked the question, there was no possibility of hearing an answer one didn’t want to hear. Avoidance was much easier, Addy found. In hindsight, avoidance had been a recurring theme the past few years, especially concerning her last relationship. After the fire and graduation, she had come to terms with something profound about her feelings toward Cheese.

After making it back to the village covered in soot, exhausted, and full of adrenaline, her eyes finally landed on him, and she’d just about fallen over as relief washed over her. That weight she carried finally fell off. Addy had told him she loved him, and perhaps she always had. That connection without all the typical physical things, without the awkwardness it brought. And if that were true, how did one move on from something part of your foundation? Addy nodded at the offer of a drink. It didn’t feel awkward, but it didn’t stop the feeling of something. As he mentioned, their last encounter had less than a happy ending.

Addy paused before answering, sipping from the flute. ”Well…friends are supposed to forgive each other, right?” Addy wouldn’t admit if she was in the wrong. She certainly didn’t feel like it. He’d brought it up, but it’d given her something to think about. Not that she was anywhere near a solution. While her goals were clearly in sight and attainable, Addy still felt disoriented and off-course. ”Does it help?” She suddenly asked before clarifying quickly. ”Writing songs.” An outlet. Addy was not the creative type preferring logic or anything physical. It's why her current career suited her, or she supposed Quidditch had been an option, but that internal Slater voice had discouraged her. That holiday and running into Jack had been an outlet despite how she’d felt the morning after. Or maybe she’d simply felt guilty that he’d made her feel so alive.

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[JOHN ELLIOT CLARK]

A tentative smile hitched the corner of Jack's lip up. "Aye, suppose they are," said Jack, scanning Addy's face for any hint of regret. There was none there, only a surprisingly relaxed countenance as she gazed evenly back at him. Jack took a drink from his flute, breaking her gaze and glancing around the bar. Groups of people were clamouring about, more than just a few throwing him questioning glances as another one of the open mic acts finished up. It was strange, the attention. Strange because it was for his talent, and not for the way he looked or being Mal's brother.

Jack considered asking Addy if she'd made up her mind about the grinning boy in the photograph. But he bit his tongue, thinking better of it. She was being amicable now - he wasn't keen to change that for the moment. As much as he loathed to admit it, he'd missed Addy's bite. Her constant challenging and the smug look she got when she knew she'd bested him. Which was often. Her interesting stories and takes on the world had Jack itching for a quill and parchment, if only as an outlet for the creative energy that spewed from within. And when Addy asked if it helped him to write songs, he answered simply and honestly. "Aye."

The pair settled into a comfortable silence, sipping their champagne and watching the next act when a towering form lunged towards him from the shadows. Jack raised a questionable brow at Mal, who looked distinctly ruffled. His brother looked between the two of them, inclining his head marginally towards Addy. "Slater," said Mal, by way of greeting, before returning his attention to Jack. "They want another song," explained the taller brother, his eyes glinting with triumph. Jack's hand jumped to his hair as he considered. "I haven't prepared another song..." said Jack weakly, but his rebuttal fell on deaf ears as Mal was already gone again.

With a sigh, Jack flashed through the catalogue of songs he felt comfortable performing. He turned to Addy, and opened his mouth to speak. But he was saved the trouble when feedback drew their attention to the mic, where someone was announcing that Jack was up with another song. Grimacing, Jack looked back to Addy. "Wait for me?" he asked in a voice that was only for her, before crossing the room with his guitar.

Looking out at the crowd, Jack felt marginally less nervous than the first time around. It was definitely more full now, and all their faces were turned expectantly towards him. He cleared his throat and leaned into the mic. "Well, this is nice," said Jack, a smirk playing at his lips. "Look, I could perform another shit version of Wonderwall, but I think we're good for the night," he added, glancing towards the other guitarist who had done just that. Jack gave him a sarcastic wave, before returning his attention to his guitar. He struck the opening chord, then opened his soul to sing.

"Wild grey ocean buried in my eyes. The coast town muscles through weekdays and nine to fives. I finish work and compartmentalise. With the wild grey ocean buried in my eyes..."His gaze rose, catching Addy's from across the room as he moved into the chorus, then the second verse. Jack couldn't tear his eyes away, captured by her attention. There was something so intimate despite the packed room. "And I wonder where you are and if you have settled down? Haven't felt my heart make a single sound since that moment you cried like a little girl. And behind you, the wild grey ocean swept away my world."

addilyn elara slater
[mal bits with permission of dez]

[addilyn elara slater]

you make my world spin,

placebo feelings

Mid-October 2027
JOHN ELLIOT CLARK

Was this her outlet? Some boy who’d charmed her with a smile, compliments, and tequila? She wasn’t, nor had she ever been the dreamer. That had been Brigh and Cheese. Viewing the world from a perspective Addy never understood because she focused on what was in front of her and tangible. A failure to see the big picture. A failure of her imagination. A failure to let herself dream. Jack had a gift to express what was in his head, an outlet. Addy expected him to ask about Cheese, or the ex since she had not shared his name or other details. And she hardly expected him to remember the little Hufflepuff boy that followed Addy and Brigh around while he was so busy fawning over the older girls in her house.

The show went on, but Addy wasn’t particularly listening. Jack’s gaze was intense as always. Paired with that magnetic pull it was no wonder Addy kept finding him unintentionally…and intentionally. But she was beginning to wonder if he’d snaked into her life to serve as some sort of anchor to the present. So Addy could simply be. Whatever it was, this wasn’t some fairytale or the dreams of a hopeless romantic. Addy knew what love felt like, she knew how wonderful and painful it felt to be in love and this was not that.

She was envious that Jack could simply write what he felt. Express his thoughts in a song and perhaps relieve whatever weight he carried on his shoulders. Addy could only wish she had a way to translate the thoughts that swirled in her mind. She finished her drink and they were interrupted. And Addy kept her face even as much as she wanted to grimace Mal’s presence. ”Clarke.” There wasn’t much warmth in her response, Addy didn’t and would likely never like Mal Clarke. Perhaps there was a chance if he let all that hot air escape his skull but then what would he do with an empty head?

Apparently, Jack’s presence on the stage was requested once more. Addy looked at him curiously but saw just a glimpse of insecurity that she’d never seen before. She nodded, agreeing to wait for him. What kind of song would he perform without preparation. Maybe he had a few that he felt comfortable performing and could at a moment’s notice? And so he began, Addy’s eyes transfixed on his hand and how they moved to create the chords in the song but then she looked up and saw his eyes. Part of her felt as if Jack was singing to her and her alone.

Naturally, her brain tried to analyze his words. Certain phrases returning more emotion than others. But in its entirety, it was so simple. She was envious again that complex thoughts and emotions could easily be translated so simply but Addy didn’t know how. Regardless, she didn’t look away until the moment was interrupted by a voice. Looking to the side a tall and dark-haired man asked if he could buy her a drink and tried to strike a conversation. Addy responded she was actually here with someone and wasn’t hiding her disinterest, hopefully he was the type that handled a polite rejection gracefully. And it seems he was. Addy had barely looked back in front of when she spotted Jack walking back.

Addy had missed the very last bits of the song and a thought, in Brigh’s voice, had popped into her head about Addy and tall dark-haired boys but she pushed it away. ”I like that one.” She grinned a little. Quite possibly she liked it more than the first one he’d sung. Even if she’d missed the last few lines and the end she’d heard the majority. ”You didn’t say what your inspiration behind it was.”

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[JOHN ELLIOT CLARK]

As Jack finished his song, the world came rushing back to him. For three minutes, it had just been himself and Addy. No one and nothing else. But as the hum of chatter and the roar of applause overwhelmed him, Jack smiled sheepishly. He thanked the crowd, then beelined for Addy. A man was trying something on with her and Jack opened his mouth to retort, but was saved from doing so by Addy rebuking him gently. The man shrugged and retreated, and Addy turned her attention to Jack.

Jack's eyes roved Addy's face hungrily, looking for her reaction to that song. Two more glasses of prosecco were delivered by the bar, and Jack wished it was a pint. Something to clutch, something to ground him. Because perhaps it was just his imagination, but the world seemed tilted. Jack cleared his throat, mustering up his usual bravado. "A genius never shares his secrets," said Jack with a smirk, but his words were hollow. With a sigh, Jack took a massive gulp of his drink and grimaced. "Sometimes I don't have anything in mind when I write. It's just about how I'm feeling at that moment. And at that point... I felt a bit lost. And I wondered..." he trailed off, not wanting to continue.

The bartender came round to collect glasses and Jack requested a pint. He ruffled his hair, before returning his attention to Addy. "How have you been?" asked Jack at last, his eyes landing on Addy's composed face. She looked the same as always - beautiful, but with a secret. Something moved within her eyes, a burden she refused to share with him. "It's been a while," he admitted after a thoughtful moment. An almost phrase lingered - that he had missed their time together. But Jack refused to allow his weakness for Addy Slater a voice. "I haven't seen you knocking about the ministry lately. Then again... coursework has been shite," he added with a laugh.

addilyn elara slater

[addilyn elara slater]

you make my world spin,

placebo feelings

Mid-October 2027
JOHN ELLIOT CLARK

Addy paused momentarily at his response. She wanted to know where the song came from. Part of it was Addy’s need to understand how things worked and what components it was comprised of. But on that beach, she discovered a man of many whirling thoughts behind that mask of overconfidence and charm. ”I suppose that’ll be a problem if I ever meet one.” Casually, she grabbed the new glass, looking away as she did so but with a satisfied smirk on her face. She supposed this translation from thoughts to songs was a moment of genius. Like a lightbulb going on, and it all clicked and made sense.

Lyrics lingered in her mind, and her brain tried to find the logic in its plain meaning. But that wouldn’t work here, but it had touched some nerve, but she didn’t know why. And pushing him to reveal those secrets was tempting, but Addy remembered how he’d pushed her the last time they were together. Their shared impatience led to quick reactions and sharp words. Merlin knew Brígh called her out immediately when she reacted as such. She finished her drink, and the bartender came back around, and Addy was craving something strong tonight. Her thoughts needed calming. But then Jack shifted the conversation.

”I’ve been alright.” These past weeks had been unremarkable, or perhaps Addy had just floated right through them like some ghost. Unable to feel what everybody else felt. ”They have us working more hours to cover a few employees that left the department.” Addy explained. ”If you’d looked under a mountain of scrolls and half-built phones, you might’ve caught a glimpse of me.” She responded flatly. They were up to their neck in work. The only benefit was Addy was allowed to observe and assist more with tasks that did not involve data entry. She even had several chances to observe Cursebreakers called in. The Black Market had been flooded with magical electronic devices and most to disastrous effects.

But that didn’t really sum it all up. ”How’s the training coming along?” Addy knew the gist of what it amounted to but not all the details, unfortunately. If she had gone into Law Enforcement, it would have been to the Auror department with Claire. That box with that photograph of Cheese was still in her room. The idea of removing it was uncomfortable, like taking a step toward something permanent. And the recurring theme of feeling adrift lingered. She’d done everything she was supposed to, but Addy never considered after. Drinking a large amount of firewhiskey, Addy spoke again. ”Do you have other songs you’ve written? I wouldn’t mind hearing them sometime.” A peek into the mind of Jack Clarke. The intriguing part was while she liked to see Jack, her heart didn’t do that skip-a-beat thing. It annoyed her that she couldn’t find a word to describe it, but her interest in his music was genuine.

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[JOHN ELLIOT CLARK]

Jack's mouth popped open at Addy's retort, but a smirk quickly replaced his surprise. "Cheeky," he chided, bumping her with his shoulder. "No more songs for you with that attitude, Slater," he added in jest. Addy looked like she wanted to ask more, but he was relieved that she didn't push the subject, and he switched topics. Perhaps it wasn't the most interesting, but it wasn't like he could just do what he wanted - drag her off into the handicapped loos and shag her senseless. Jack didn't think the pub would let him back in if he did so. Instead, Jack satisfied himself by taking a long drink of his pint.

"Feels like we're ships passing in the night," said Jack with a smirk. In reality, he hadn't really looked for Addy. He didn't like being in the ministry. He despised himself for putting himself through this hit wizard course, but it was the highest paying role feasible to him. He was an alright duellist, and with this extra training, he'd be even better. He'd be able to support his mums, to support his real passion. And it wasn't like being a hit wizard was his dream, not like some of the other people on his course. It was a means to an end. "To be honest, I kind of hate it," Jack replied in a moment of honesty. With Addy, he didn't have to suffer through. "I don't like... being a cog in the machine. Never thought I'd stoop so low," he added. "But money talks, aye? Even if you lose a bit of your soul every time you clock in," he added, scratching the back of his neck as he did so.

As Addy ordered something strong, something stirred in Jack's belly. He joined her, requesting a firewhisky as well. He cast an eye around the crowd, noting that Mal had once again disappeared. Well, not like he had to worry about his standing with the pub anyways. "I'd like to show you, but you'd have to come round mine then," said Jack, his gaze falling on Addy. There was such an intensity to her, something that drew him in. Jack liked her - a lot. Even if she was a part of the problem. The firewhisky was delivered, and Jack held up his glass to Addy before draining it in one. He grimaced as the alcohol raced down his throat, lighting flames in its wake. "Addy, have you ever like... wanted to let go?" asked Jack after a long silence.

addilyn elara slater

[addilyn elara slater]

you make my world spin,

placebo feelings

Mid-October 2027
JOHN ELLIOT CLARK

Addy let herself grin, eyes on the bar as she casually leaned on it. Already her shoulders had relaxed, and she forgot the tension she’d been carrying. Jack seemed genuinely surprised at her remark. Eyebrow raised slightly, she looked to the side. But she didn’t respond. The satisfaction that she’d gotten a word in was enough. People didn’t expect that from Addy, and that’s what was expected from her. But all the Slater children had the infinite need for the last word or at least a sharp one. For Addy, it was usually not out of spite like her brother or anger like her sister.

A cog in the machine. That was one way to put it. Her parents had always pushed them to be the machine and control it. But they’d risen to no more than mere cogs who distinguished themselves from time to time until they didn’t. Addy liked her work. It let her flex all those parts of her brain where she truly shined. But she remembered other goals she used to have. Things her mother said were silly and a waste of time. Even Brigh had seen it. ”I’m sure it's more exciting than a desk job.” Or so she assumed. Were Hit Wizards forced to sit and write reports? ”My parents wanted me to follow Claire into the Auror department.” Addy had the NEWTs, the knowledge, and the dueling ability, but the idea never excited her. She still internally cringed at the memory of telling her mother she wanted to play Quidditch. That shrill and mocking laugh still rang through her head.

A wave of unease and apprehension came and went. Like her brain was programmed to respond with nerves at anything not part of the ‘plan’. But with every day that passed, Addy realized she had no idea what the plan was. Only some goal was at the end, not even Claire had reached. It was all unwarranted. Jack had been in Addy’s room plenty of times, and she could blush thinking of their time together. Surely going to his place was nothing in comparison. Besides, Addy seriously doubted his brother warded their place as her roommates did their flat.

”Can you apparate? Or did your brother ward the place?” Either way, it was better for them both. Addy wouldn’t have to sneak out like Jack did. Avoiding the three other girls that lived there, especially Brígh. Addy didn’t know why she still hadn’t told her about this. She had been the one to encourage her to go out and have fun and move on from Cheese. And Brígh didn’t know that Cheese had become an expert at sneaking out of the warded flat. Jack’s question caught her off-guard as her thoughts wandered in the brief silence. Blinking a few times, she looked at him and then back to her glass. ”Let go?” It was an odd question because it was so vague. For a girl like Addy, that could be one of many things. Hadn’t she already? She still struggled with the dual emotions of thrill and guilt. Guilt she’d always felt, though she didn’t know why.

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[JOHN ELLIOT CLARK]

Jack wasn't the sort of person to mince words. He didn't care about offense, and he thought highly of his own opinion. Therefore, it was easy for him to share exactly what he thought of the ministry with Addy. He didn't want to join it - he didn't want to lose his sense of self for the sake of money. But he'd been desperate, and he knew it was a temporary measure. He hadn't considered the extra training he'd require, but the idea of a fat paycheck at the end of each month to pass along to his mums was ultimately what closed the deal. He offered a noncommittal shrug. "I suppose. But still. I feel like it's in my bones to rally against the establishment, rather than get myself caught up in it."

When Addy revealed that her parents had once pushed her to join the auror department, Jack arched a brow. A smirk slithered across his lips as he fought back a shout of laughter, instead drowning it with a long sip of his pint "You? Following orders? I'd pay to see that," said Jack. He simply couldn't imagine Addy patiently waiting for an assignment, then doing exactly as her superiors told her. Similar to himself, he supposed. He'd chosen the wrong career path - good thing he never planned on seeing it through. And to top it off - to do exactly as Addy's parents had instructed? Jack knew that she was a woman with her own mind.

Jack offered to show Addy more songs, but put in a stipulation of his own. They'd need privacy. And Jack knew Mal had found himself a distraction that would likely take the whole night. Not that it mattered much - the brothers were respectful of one another at least. Jack smirked. "Aye, can apparate. Got a license and everything," he replied, pressing his lips together. He offered her a hand, but spoke just once more before leading her outside. He didn't know what had made him say it. "Just... let go. Fuck everything and everyone else, all the demands and questions and requirements, and just be you?" he added by way of clarity, though he wondered how much his phrase offered. Then, he led her to the door and they disappeared into the night in a swirl of dark material.

addilyn elara slater

[addilyn elara slater]

you make my world spin,

placebo feelings

Mid-October 2027
JOHN ELLIOT CLARK

Jack didn’t appear completely satisfied with his career choice. Although Addy noted he wasn’t exactly hiding the fact. As a fellow cog in said machine, Addy enjoyed her job but sometimes felt something was missing. She wasn’t so naïve to think that following every little step in her parents' plan would make her happy. That’s why she’d sought out Quidditch and other clubs during school, plus her close-knit circle of friends. Well, formerly close. Her heart skipped when she thought of him, but maybe Brigh was right. She just needed time—they both did. Addy raised an eyebrow at Jack’s response. It was no surprise to her that he was a rebel. It was written all over him. “Then why do it?”

She asked the same question she hated answering. Mostly because she didn’t have a concrete and cohesive answer that she could say with the utmost confidence. Addy rolled her eyes at his smirk, looking away for a moment. It was a busy night, and when Addy looked back, she looked straight at him. “I can follow orders.” She didn’t have an issue listening to him. And she let him think of that in whatever context he liked. She raised her glass to take a sip casually, then placing empty glass down. But in terms of life and other people, he was absolutely correct. Her friends knew better than to order her around, although Brigh had some luck at times.

But they were leaving the pub now and for his place instead of hers. Which was appropriate since they were going to listen to his songs. She imagined it more comfortable for him than in Addy’s room in a shared flat. Again she rolled her eyes. That wasn’t what she meant. “I’m surprised your brother does….” Addy found herself muttering. Honestly, how that boy managed the OWLs and NEWTs for Cursebreaking was beyond her, let alone passing the test for the license. Then again, she doubted he bothered with warding where he lived.

Addy took his hand, which was beginning to feel more natural. Then again, so was his presence in her life. A new friend that couldn’t read her like a book they'd read a hundred times. It was…refreshing. She was about to say that she had “let go” when she met him on that holiday. But Addy needed a lot of tequila and whatever else Brigh had given her. So maybe it didn’t count. Even her rendezvous with Cheese during their last school year felt more like slip-ups rather than true freedom. Before Addy could respond, she felt that pull, and suddenly, they weren’t in London anymore. She looked around but hadn’t forgotten the question. She knew she was herself. But the rest? “No…I guess not.”

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[JOHN ELLIOT CLARK]

When Addy voiced the question he'd been asking himself for months, Jack couldn't muster up an appropriate response. Why did he choose hit wizarding? Sure, he could have done something else, but what could promise the gold that working in the ministry did? A steady income was exactly what he'd been looking for, and he'd found it at the ministry. Even if the cost had been everything he believed in. After all, it was a temporary fix. Something to tide the Clark family over whilst Jack made himself famous.

"I don't know," he finally admitted, staring at the ground. It was a weak willed response, but the only one he could give. "I could have chosen something not in the ministry, sure. But I needed something... stable. Reliable. No matter what it costs me," said Jack slowly, frowning at his shoes.

The mood lightened considerably when Jack considered the idea of Addy following orders. "Aye? We'll test that then," he said, a smirk lifting the corner of his lip. They drained their drinks, and with a buzz that spread from his chest to his fingertips, Jack led Addy outside. "Me too," he agreed, wondering how on Earth Mal managed to focus for long enough to disappear from one place and appear in another. Addy's lack of response to his question was nearly forgotten in the dark swirl of their cloaks as they disapparated, reappearing on the front step of the flat he shared with his brother. He unlocked the door, and paused. Jack turned to Addy, and at last she replied. "Well, let this be the start then," he said, his breath fogging in the crisp, Scottish air. He led her up the creaking stairs and unlocked the door, opening it for her to step into first. "What do you want, more than anything, right at this very moment?" asked Jack, closing the door with a snick behind him.

addilyn elara slater

[addilyn elara slater]

you make my world spin,

placebo feelings

Mid-October 2027
JOHN ELLIOT CLARK

Addy didn’t see doubt from Jack very often, if at all. His confidence was generally unwavering, which was terribly annoying at the start when she’d finally sobered up. Those moments of vulnerability at the beach had shown Addy that he was at least human and not simply like the airhead Auror trainees she bumped into at the Ministry at times. Addy looked at the man before her, looking for that sense of stability anyone would crave. Everyone did so at some personal cost. Jack seemed to know his. Addy had yet to figure out what price she’d paid. All she could do was nod in understanding.

For once, they agreed on something regarding his brother Mal. Addy found herself smiling slightly with amusement. Though she wouldn’t admit the strange and excited momentary flutter she felt at his challenge. Addy knew she liked control and to have things her way because her way would work. But there were those times with Jack when he would lock eyes with her and get close, issuing some small order, or maybe he muttered in a low tone in her ear. She would never admit to the chill he sent up her spine or that she reminded herself to breathe when feeling his breath on her skin.

But it was easy to push those thoughts aside when answering his question. Addy didn’t like questions she wasn’t prepared for, and this was certainly one of those. They entered his place, walking up stairs that creaked loudly in the silence, and then she walked through the open door before him. Addy looked around habitually, considering his question as she stopped herself from turning around. What did she want? And right now? The bit of alcohol she’d consumed made her brain a little foggy, but it did slow it down. Still, she paused for a few moments as she fidgeted with her bracelet.

”I guess…I just want to do something fun.” That was very vague, but at a high level encapsulated what she wanted in that moment. To feel good from fun and nothing to do with work or things she had to do. It was so rare these days Addy had those moments from her school days where they’d sit and laugh and eventually she’d steer them back to their homework. She craved that pure free and relaxed feeling.

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[JOHN ELLIOT CLARK]

Never one to muse for long on his thoughts, Jack scrutinised Addy as she mulled over her response. He led the way into his flat, the beginning strains of a song starting to piece itself together. He watched Addy carefully, his eyes trailing over her full lips, the slight curl at the end of her blonde hair. The focused glint in her eye that was never completely missing. His stomach flipped rather uncomfortably as he considered what his days would consist of if he hadn't met her more formally on holiday. If they hadn't thrown caution to the wind and explored one another.

Jack opened his mouth to prompt a response from Addy - he was getting rather impatient - when she finally responded. Jack frowned. All that build up and anticipation? "Not a chance," said Jack, sweeping a lock of hair behind her ears. "Not what you think you should want. Not what you think I want to hear," said Jack, lowering his voice to a near purr. He could have listed a whole host of examples. To scream at the top of his lungs that he was worthy. To write the most incredible, heartfelt record in modern history. To kiss Addy and for her not to think about forgetting someone else. But Jack said nothing, letting her think deeper. To come up with the truth. "What is it that you want more than anything right now?" asked Jack again, keeping his intense gaze trained on her.

addilyn elara slater