hold out [rhys]

[EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK]

July 2027

In a whirl of distress and anger, Rob apparated to the familiar alleyway besides Rhys' home. His argument with Lyra weighed on him - not for the contents itself, but more for the fact that it had become an argument in the first place. Rob still questioned where he went wrong, and how he was asking too much of her. At what point had confidence become cold hearted detatchment? Thoughts whirled around his head as he took the stairs up to Rhys' door two at a time and knocked.

Rob was let in almost at once, and there was a flurry of motion as Rob passed through the threshold. "Fuck, Rhys, I'm so confused," said Rob as he made his way to the liquor cabinet and helped himself. He poured two glasses with two measures, then on second thought added extra to one. He downed the contents and repoured before heavily replacing the whisky in the cabinet. "Rhys, I'm absolutely, totally and completely fucked," he admitted, his tired gaze shifting to catch that of one of his closest friend.

There was no way Rob could seek the advice of his best friend - she had been part of the reason Rob had doubted his relationship with Lyra. Were there parts of Sienna that Rob wished for in Lyra? He couldn't see where he had gone wrong with his mate, especially since they were meant to understand each other without even speaking. But that had been so far from the case, and Rob's head was an absolute mess. "It's Lyra. And me. We're not right, Rhys... why the fuck are we mated if we're not right?"

rhys alexander greyback

[rhys alexander greyback]

all i've ever done is hide

from our times

July 2027
EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK

Rhys had been one of the most intelligent students in his year at Hogwarts. Achieving all the OWLs and NEWTs that nobody had expected when they observed the small first-year boy sitting on that stool during the sorting ceremony. And he’d successfully trained as a Cursebreaker and had learned so much more since then. But, something Rhys had never mastered was timing. Between run-ins with people and the words that left his mouth, there was always a reason to stuff his foot back in it. So while his mind was already preoccupied with how much time had passed and his daughter’s upcoming birthday—another chance encounter had thrown him off balance.

And during all that time, he was studying furiously and focusing on training the common variable had been her. The same one he ran into the day before while dropping by the Apothecary. Somehow he’d found a day where both Sienna nor Rob were there, and it was just the part-time staff holding down the fort for an hour. And what a place to run into someone. But the conversation had been short. Rhys was already late meeting Maria somewhere and with the one person who could pull his heart away from anywhere—his daughter. So many things stuffed away and compartmentalized came back, shaking off that layer of dust and simply weighing on him.

But as Rhys opened the door at someone knocking, the figure that whirled past him brought him back to the present. Rob. This wasn’t a strange thing to occur. One or the other typically had a reason to drink. If not, they found one. Before Rhys could ask for clarification, Rob explained, and then Rhys understood. Walking over to retrieve the second glass, he also consumed it quickly. The bottle Rob had put away Rhys retrieved and placed on the coffee table. Since when did he only have one? ”Not gonna lie, this whole mate thing is still new to me.” Rhys was with Vasilia and happy. With Maria, he was co-parenting without any real issues.

But before drinking from his glass again, he absent-mindedly chewed on the inside of his mouth as the previous day’s encounter still created a slight flutter in his chest. ”What happened?” Fights were normal in relationships—Rhys did not like them since they ended up triggering something more intense in him than he expected, which always led to more issues. ”I mean…” Rhys walked with his glass to sit in one of the living room chairs. ”How do you know if someone isn’t the one anyway?” Rhys had asked himself this at the risk of great internal anxiety. But didn’t they all ask themselves this?

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[EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK]

Rob was like a deranged animal. His thoughts weren't making sense, spinning in circles, finding no end. Nothing made sense, and yet everything spiralled as it led to Lyra. No more, though. Not after that disaster. Even now, something inside him tugged his heartstrings, the separation from his mate already carving away at him. Rob knocked back the first glass of whisky before pouring a second. His friendship with Si had never caused him much trouble before - but perhaps that was because Gus had always been in the picture. Not only that, but there had never been anyone else to capture Rob's interest, to make him question everything. Nobody, in short, had been Lyra.

Rhys, more calmly than Rob would have expected, asked what happened, and Rob didn't quite know how to put it. "She was... I dunno. Just being cagey. Like she needed my permission. And it upset me because she's not this weak little thing, she's headstrong and decisive and... I don't know! I felt like she was retreating into herself. And the meekness. I don't know, it just made me feel sick and I lost it," said Rob, scrubbing his face with his hands. "I told her I couldn't be her crutch. That she couldn't always defer to me. That she needs to stand on her own before we can stand together," Rob added, groaning. "Makes me sound like a prick, doesn't it," he muttered, more to himself than anything.

"With the duelling and shit, I thought that was who she was. Someone who went after what she wanted. Not questioning. It was such a weird shift," said Rob, glancing up at Rhys before draining the next glass of whisky. "And fuck if I don't already miss her. It's like... this weird knot here." He pointed to his sternum. "I've never really felt such a strong need to be with someone. But is that the mate bond? Is it possible to reject? Is it worth it? I don't know!"

rhys alexander greyback

[rhys alexander greyback]

all i've ever done is hide

from our times

July 2027
EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK

As Rhys shook himself out of his own head and thoughts, he watched his friend. Anxiety was clear in his movements, agitation in his eyes. The further one traveled down that spiral, sped up with whiskey, the more control left your grasp. And Rhys did try and keep track of what Rob was saying or trying to explain, but some context was missing. But it was also evident it was a clash of sorts. Different than a fight, Rhys had learned. Fighting stemmed from passion, while clashing was trying to force magnets together by the wrong ends. Eventually, that built-up energy needed to go somewhere.

Rhys half shrugged as he walked over to a cabinet and retrieved a brand new bottle of whiskey, the one Rob was currently chugging down was almost empty, and at this point, it seemed he needed it more than Rhys did. "Vas would probably say so." Rhys was the wrong person to ask about saying the right thing at the right time. And perhaps a short temper was just a werewolf thing. Rhys refilled his own glass. The urge to drink had been strong lately and unavoidable. But something did hit him, as Rob described that pain. Rhys knew that pain well, and he'd sworn to himself he never wanted to feel that again, yet he was lining himself up to fail.

"No, that's not the bond." Rhys didn't understand that, and the idea of being tied down in such a way was frightening. But Rob’s description of that pain was very familiar to Rhys, and it had been such an intense pain. "Sit down before you wear a hole in my floor." Rhys lazily gestured to his couch and chairs as he sat down, putting the brand-new bottle on the coffee table. "The mate thing… it's not permanent, is it?" Rhys had a few thoughts but was trying his hand at not simply speaking the first thing that came to mind. And he hadn’t spent nearly as much time with Lyra as he had Rob, but there was always something guarded with her. Like any other presence was some kind of intrusion. ”Do you love her?” Rhys stared ahead, not out of avoidance but merely lost in his thoughts. It was like that need in the pit of his stomach when he’d met Maria, but that had certainly not been love, and yet he couldn’t stop himself. And yet the one he loved was the one he seemed at odds with the most.

Rhys tilted his head back and let the contents of his glass all flow down. He was still a little confused. ”I don’t know, Rob…just start over. What was she being cagey about?” Rhys refilled his glass. It was never a good sign when one was cagey. ”I don’t know her like you, obviously. She’s always been distant with me, but I’m not you.” It was silly to compare others to Vasilia’s level of extrovertness, but Rhys didn’t really know what to think.

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[EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK]

The words flowed from Rob without direction. It was a stream of consciousness that flowed from him, and yet he couldn't stop or make sense of what he was saying. It would be a miracle if Rhys could. The whisky started to settle his spiralling mind, and Rob stopped pacing at Rhys' direction and sat on the armchair closest to him. "I don't know if it's permanent. I thought it was - but then again, what do I know? There was so little research into it before, and everything we've found out since has mostly been through our own experimentation," Rob explained, his tired eyes fluttering around the room as he spoke.

Rhys' question drew Rob up short. Rob chewed over his response. "How do I even know what love is?" asked Rob in a quiet voice. The only thing he could think of was how he felt around Sienna. Always at ease, could talk to her about anything and everything, and he felt like she brought out the best in him. Like Awarewolf - they were better working together than apart. When he considered his relationship with Lyra, the feelings were very similar. Yet Rob couldn't shake the feeling that their pieces didn't fall into place quite right. "I do love her," he decided at last, as if there was a decision to be made. "I want to tell her about the most mundane parts of my day, I want to snog her senseless, I want to hold her hand and I want her when I'm transformed and even after," he added after a moment.

As the alcohol warmed his blood, Rob felt himself relax a modicum. "She took me to this very swish bar at the top of the Shard. I felt uncomfortable because it was really nice and felt like we totally didn't belong there. And then she kept asking me what I felt about the place and I was honest, I told her it didn't really fit me... and then it turned out she'd put forward a proposal to buy the place, but wanted my approval. I said to her she didn't need my approval or anything - this would be her project if she wanted to turn it into something else. And then it just kind of... went off from there," said Rob, draining his glass of whisky, placing the empty glass on the table and dropping his head into his hands. He didn't know what to say. Lyra had wanted a partnership - one that Rob seemingly wasn't keen to give away.

rhys alexander greyback

[rhys alexander greyback]

all i've ever done is hide

from our times

July 2027
EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK

Rhys remembered how Rob had pushed through whatever pain he was in to celebrate with Sienna upon receiving their Order of Merlin. But Rhys hadn’t asked at the time. When he’d been in a similar rut years before, after Juniper, the last thing he wanted was people asking if he was alright because clearly, he was not. But that’s why Rhys’ response was immediate. You didn’t need some magical bond to feel pain. You just needed a heart. Rhys had conflicted feelings about such a permanent bond, but only due to the lack of choice. He shook his head lightly. ”You sure you didn’t get yourself in some kind of Unbreakable Vow?”

Others might have been shocked by his response, but Rhys was not. The pair of wolves were similar in many ways and very different in others. So, Rhys could understand a few things. He opened his mouth to answer but found he didn’t have one. Or at least he didn’t have the right words. But Rob answered his own question before Rhys could speak. And it made sense. He leaned back and sighed. ”And you hate yourself when you upset them…” There weren’t words to describe it, only how he reacted. Like how Rhys’ mind was calmed of his worst troubled thoughts when near her. Or how he liked hearing about everything that happened while he was gone working. Rob sure hit the nail on the head on that one.

But Rhys was also a werewolf, and he once had something in his life that felt permanent. And over those years, he let down wall after wall until none were left. He was sure this was it—she was it. Rhys clenched his jaw at the memories and refilled his glass, sipping before setting it down. But now he loved Vasilia. And neither she nor Juniper had been because of some bond. He thought through the scenario Rob shared. ”And she’s upset because she didn’t get your…approval?” His brow furrowed. It seemed like a bit of an overreaction on her part if he understood it all correctly. Imagine Vasilia asking Rhys about changes to the Violet Hound—it was ridiculous. That was her business, her thing as much as certain things were his. He was glad to have his own life and a shared one. At that, Rhys took a drink, waiting to see if Rob explained more.

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[EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK]

Rob sighed, scrubbing his face and trying to maintain some semblance of sobriety, even if it was just for a moment. Unfortunately for him, he was unsuccessful. ”Not sure at all,” he replied with a groan, squeezing his eyes shut. He needed another drink. No, another ten drinks. ”It just feels so complicated, you know? Like, there’s no doubt that I love Lyra, bond or not. But… why does she have to make it so difficult?” A young woman carrying shots passed and Rob took four, intent on drowning himself and desiccating his liver.

Trying to explain the situation to Rhys was like catching smoke with his bare hands. Close to impossible. Rhys’ sceptical tone made Rob doubt everything even more than he already had. With a groan, he snatched up one of the shots and downed it in one. ”I dunno, mate. That’s what it felt like. But I was fine with it, like it sounds cool and I want her to have like, legitimate business. But the fact that I wasn’t over the moon about it totally messed her up,” Rob continued, before downing the second shot. He could barely taste the bitter liquor anymore.

”Maybe I should just lock myself away. Move to Nepal. Become a monk.” Rob chuckled darkly, sipping his pint. ”Would be less painful, I imagine,” he added after a moment. The pair lapsed into silence, before Rob spoke up again. ”I’m bloody sick of being made to feel guilty about everything I do. Are you going any interesting places soon? May have to just run away,” said Rob with a frown.

rhys alexander greyback