Break Me Down [Asher]

[Hazel Rosalie Burke]

11 March 2028

“So then I told her she was never allowed to see him again under, like, any circumstance. Like…brown belt, black shoes. Do I even need to explain, he was def a serial killer in disguise,” Hazel said with a disgusted eye-roll. She’d been chattering Asher’s ear off for the last quarter hour, having decided to grossly misunderstand his question and see how far she could push his patience. But all was fair in love and war, and Asher had definitely declared war first by making her come into the club on a Saturday morning to discuss business. She’d been woefully hungover all morning – at least until she’d convinced Ivy to brew up her famous hangover cure – and Asher had barely waited thirty seconds for her to sit down before he’d asked for a status update.

He'd probably (no, definitely) wanted to hear about the club, but Hazel had chosen to willfully ignore that and regale him with her vibrant social life until he chose to cut her off or jump out the window. And Hazel was almost desperate to keep the vibe normal because…something was wrong with Asher. Not in the usual sense, like the time he’d tried a velvet suit or the fact that he’d been listening to Hazel’s gossip for a full fifteen minutes. No, he’d been off ever since Azkaban. It seemed alright at first to see how antsy he was – he’d been isolated from human contact for months, living in vastly different conditions from the pampered pureblood lifestyle, and there’d been no guarantee if he’d walk free or spend the rest of his life in the wizard prison. But it was almost two years since the Hogwarts fire…and he seemed to be slipping. Driven by some inner obsession (for status? Notoriety? Revenge?) and it only seemed to get worse.

Sometimes he seemed normal, but there were other times when Hazel could just see the danger lurking under the surface. Hazel leaned back in her chair and thought back on the rest of her week. “So anyway, Friday. I had that appointment with the tailor, you know, the gala you always skive off for…oh, what’s the cause again? Doxied children? Baby doxies? No, some sort of illness…” Hazel took a moment to consider it, but shrugged it off a moment later. “Anyway, you’ll never guess who I saw there. What was that girl’s name again? The one we used to play with, her dad got like banished and we never saw them again after that. And Mum says I’m a drama queen. Anyway, yeah she was totes there too for a fitting. I had the worst time picking out a design, they tried to sell me on cutouts which are so last season, a banshee wouldn’t be caught dead with that. Oh right! That’s the charity of the gala, some banshees overtook a village somewhere East and they need someone to clear it out…” Hazel continued her idle gossip without missing a beat.

asher rowan burke

[asher rowan burke]

You're as free as a bird now

I carry the burden for you

March 11, 2028
Hazel Rosalie Burke

Asher wished the dueling rings were in full swing this early. Then, he could easily throw himself in the path of a wayward curse or hex and hope that physical pain overtook the pain in his head from his sister’s incessant chatter. Hazel was nothing if not consistent in her continuous journey to drive Asher to madness. Rivera should’ve stuck Hazel in that cell with Asher rather than left him alone. But Asher said nothing. The thought of bickering banter did not appeal to him, nor did he have the energy. As much as he hated it, Ivy still crept into his mind. At first, it was only here and there, but it was more frequent as the days wore on.

Naturally, he hadn’t mentioned any of this to Hazel. Merlin knew what kind of response she would have to such a confession. Eventually, he might realize that he missed his younger sister. Their conversations and discussions, and her intellect when he needed a sounding board. Asher slowly sipped from his glass as he waited for Hazel to pause. Surely, she had to breathe at some point. At this point, he couldn’t even remember what that gala was for. Asher found that little details like that had started to escape him, like stopping midsentence because he forgot the word that should’ve been there.

But then his brain came to a sudden halt. Fortunately, Hazel hadn’t been looking at him as she rambled away. But not even Asher could completely control this reaction. A strange sensation passed through his chest, and he looked off to the side as if he was searching for some answer in the air. But he forced himself to composure, raising his glass again. ”Carrow.” Asher finally spoke but paused a moment. ”Ava Carrow.” He finished the contents of his glass, though very quickly, a new one was brought to him. Hearing the name out loud in his voice made that memory real again, but he still felt so disconnected from it. Asher hadn't thought of her in years but slowly she'd resurfaced as he still tried to piece himself back together. Her father had been one of their father’s most trusted. And his children were raised alongside them, including Ava, who shared a father with her half-siblings but not their mother. Hazel kept speaking as Asher sorted through the questions in his mind. ”When is this gala?” Asher ask flatly. He was terribly bored of her gossip, but he also felt antsy. They had business to attend to, but his mind felt taken over.

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[Hazel Rosalie Burke]

Hazel wrinkled her nose at the thought of banshees and this year’s charity gala. She quite enjoyed parties, but not for the empty gestures or the vague sense of charity and righteousness like they were actually doing something. No, these parties were the best time for purebloods to show off for each other. They outdid each other with the newest fashions, sporting expensive jewelry and rare artifacts, not to mention the amount of business that was done at these balls. You could seal the deal of the century in the middle of the dance or in a whispered exchange by the tower of champagne. Oh yes, Hazel always thrived in this kind of social situation. “But the real charity would be to give these banshees a makeover. Like, at least a haircut and a manicure…it’s the humane thing to do, really.” She would have kept going, but something vaguely registered in her mind that Asher had said something.

And that was unusual, because he’d chosen to let her talk for fifteen minutes and Hazel would have noticed if he’d said something more forceful like ‘stop’ or ‘avada kedavra.’ So she shot him a puzzled expression and tried to read the stony look on his face. His face seemed carefully neutral as always, but there was a strange look in his eyes. There always was these days, and it bothered Hazel that she couldn’t read what it was. “Oh yeah, Ava.” She fell into a thoughtful silence at the reminder of their old playmate, even if Hazel could honestly say she hadn’t thought about the girl in years. It was just somebody else who’d been in her life for a while and then wasn’t anymore. Hazel had bothered her parents about it for a week or so, but then she’d gotten bored with the topic and moved on.

Hazel stared at Asher like he’d grown a second head – because why in Morgana’s sake would he care when the gala was? He hadn’t gone in years and it was common knowledge in the Burke mansion that Asher didn’t go to parties unless forced to (or unless Hazel would be struck down by some deadly disease and the only cure could be found in the hors d'oeuvres). “You are Asher, right? Or did you take a Babbling Beverage this morning?” Polyjuice or some other nefarious potion seemed like a more natural answer than Asher suddenly wanting to go to a party, and Hazel’s suspicions suddenly shot up to a hundred. “Or wait, is this some sort of reverse psychology to make me not want to go? Unless you knew I would reach that conclusion, and you do want me to go but as a form of rebellion…” Hazel murmured to herself, trying to find the hidden clue here. It could all be an elaborate ruse in a sort of lame attempt to matchmake. Asher had been pushy about it in the past, so he might have turned to subtler tactics…

asher rowan burke

[asher rowan burke]

You're as free as a bird now

I carry the burden for you

March 11, 2028
Hazel Rosalie Burke

Hazel kept talking. Asher felt a slight pressure build behind his eyes as his sister challenged how many words she could speak without taking a breath. It was worse that the topic was a charity gala. These were the sort of things they’d always been dragged to as children. The only fortunate part was the crowd. The rumors never stopped, and neither did the whispers. But the hours Asher had begun to put in the dueling ring, accepting any challengers or striking down those who spoke out of turn, only served to help his image—their image. So, at least now he could send some gold to help those banshees or whoever, and it wouldn’t get sent back. In their world, gold was just as important as the name.

The name rang through Asher’s skull as Hazel repeated it nonchalantly. Merlin, how many years had it been? There was an irony to Asher’s sudden recollection. Their father was a retired Obliviator, but he’d let Asher sit with his memories as some kind of lesson. Slowly, small pieces reassembled themselves. It was uncomfortable because he’d compartmentalized everything, including his feelings on that topic. Since his release that winter, something gnawed at him, leaving his skin tingling like it didn’t fight right. And the more steps he took down this new and unknown path, the worse it became. And at the same time, he felt a control that didn’t exist before his arrest. And now that name. Ava Carrow.

Asher’s eyes moved to Hazel as she questioned him. With an annoyed sigh, he put his glass down and adjusted one of his cufflinks. ”We need new connections.” It was true. They’d worked tirelessly to rebuild, and Asher wouldn’t mind a few more allies, perhaps new ones. There was no better place. ”It’s better if we both attend.” Asher began, picking up his glass again. ”I’m not interested in existing on the outskirts of society. We aren’t the Karkaroffs.” He added plainly. While Casimir and his siblings were still part of society, their name hardly held the same power as others. Naturally, Asher mentally began to line up several agendas in his mind for this event. Pausing, he took a drink, trying to quell the fact that it felt turned upside down. Now Asher remembered why he’d put this aside to the corner of his mind with careful occlumency training. How else was he supposed to forget the last time he was truly happy?

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[Hazel Rosalie Burke]

An awkward silence settled between the two as Hazel worked out silently what Asher’s game was with this sudden change of heart and Asher seemed to be stuck in his own thoughts. It was strange to see Hazel quiet for any extended period of time, but she felt like she was close to reaching a realization if she could just focus for a moment. So Asher continued to day-drink (an admirable trait, truly) and Hazel silently pondered her brother and the distant look in his eyes. His face was strangely blank, like he was forcing it to be that way, although he shifted uncomfortably like he couldn’t banish whatever thought troubled him. It came to Hazel in a flash, and she straightened in the uncomfortably stiff chair as she groaned. “Oh Merlin, you’re having an emotion, aren’t you? Don’t panic, you’ll make it through. Deep breaths.”

Which emotion currently had her brother looking like an acromantula had just crawled into his office – well, she couldn’t say. But the moment was quickly gone and when Asher moved to adjust his cufflinks and glance back up at her…he was all business again. Just her stupidly dull brother grasping at one of his mad ideas and how to get her involved to his benefit. She rolled her eyes and sighed loudly as Asher began to drone on about connections and the family’s wellbeing, which was one of his favorite topics and something he had monologed about for ages in the past. He mentioned the Karkaroffs and Hazel smirked crookedly as she admired her nails and saw another opportunity to tease her brother. “IDK Ash, I wouldn’t mind having a lil Karkaroff in me. Everyone's got a happy place, hey?”

Besides, Asher could scoff at them all he liked but the truth was that they were better off than the Burkes at the moment. Their family name wasn’t social suicide, and if they chose to stay on the outskirts of the pureblood community – well, it seemed to be more by choice than necessity. But then again, how would Asher know? He’d spent the months after Hogwarts on his little staycation and far away from the critical eye of the public. Hazel had struggled through Asher’s arrest and Ivy’s disappearance alone – doing everything she could to keep the club afloat, being denied access to the sorts of perks and privileges she’d had her whole life while watching the vultures descending on the Burke family name and assets. It was unusual for Hazel to be angry, not when she’d always been untouchable, but yeah…maybe she was, a little bit. Still, she kept her posture exactly as it was and didn’t look up from her elaborate nail art. If he insisted on coming, then he’d finally get to see it for himself. She clapped her hands together to try and force the tension out of her body. “Ooooh, does that mean I get to dress you? This'll be fun.”

asher rowan burke

[asher rowan burke]

You're as free as a bird now

I carry the burden for you

March 11, 2028
Hazel Rosalie Burke

Merlin—sometimes Asher wished he had a brother. That way, that sibling could put up with Hazel on these days, and Asher could find some peace and quiet in Azkaban. It only made it much more apparent how much Ivy had been a buffer between the pair. Despite their loyalty and unity, there wasn’t much about their individual personalities that ‘vibed’ as Hazel might put it. It was bad enough her vocabulary was slowly seeping into his brain. Normally, this was the type of thing Asher merely ignored, but his nerves hadn’t been the same since he’d been released. ”Contrary to what you might think, I’m not a Dementor or anything of the sort.” Asher’s jaw clenched and unclenched several times, and his answer was perhaps sharper than he’d intended. Mostly.

Not that his younger sister would agree with his statement. And Asher knew very well she delighted in finding these hidden open doors to push his buttons. ”Bold of you to assume any of them would acknowledge you at this point.” To say their family name had lost standing was putting it mildly and wildly underrepresenting the damage that had been done. In fact, Asher figured the entire scandal had done favors to families such as the Karkaroffs, who had lingered at the bottom of the food chain for so long. Asher was not accustomed, nor did he like having to crane his head to look up at the others, which is why it was his goal to find his way back to the top.

But he couldn’t strategize at the moment. Hazel’s previous revelation left him unbalanced. Which is why he’d snapped so quickly earlier, or so he figured. Emotionless. Just as their father wanted him to be because, for Caradoc Burke, emotions were for the weak. And Asher followed that viewpoint until Ava Carrow made him realize it wasn’t true. For now, he ignored her comment. She’d done quite enough to his wardrobe, as it were. ”Who else is attending?” He could easily ask his henchmen to find out, but Hazel was far more up-to-date on the social happenings. And it was all he could do to not pry simply about Ava.

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[Hazel Rosalie Burke]

Asher’s sharp retort was truly a sign that he was rattled, and Hazel glanced up from her nail art in surprise. He was so talented at keeping his emotions hidden that it was somewhat natural to assume he didn’t have any. After all, he’d always just been…Asher. Her stoic older brother, the perfect pureblood heir and pride of the family. It wasn’t like that for either of the other siblings – because of the circumstances of her birth, Ivy had always had to work hard to prove her accomplishments and her place in the family. And Hazel? She was the baby, the spoiled angel who could get away with her little tantrums and rebellions so long as she remembered who called the shots in the end. So to see Asher snap at her, show a little of what was lurking under the surface…

…well, maybe it was a sign of how much things had changed. With Ivy, and Azkaban, and whatever it was about this gala that had Asher so uncomfortable. A more mature sibling might have let Asher’s little remarks go, but Hazel was not that girl and she rolled her eyes at his obvious attempt to return fire. As if the Karkaroffs could afford to ignore her. “Oh boo-hoo, why so salty? Did Cas Karkaroff forget to send you a get-well card after you got out of Azkaban?” She couldn’t help but add, “You prob, no definitely, don’t wanna know exactly how much of them I see.” Or where, for that matter, considering how often Damian stopped by the Ivory Room and where exactly they went to see more of each other. See how thoughtful she was, avoiding giving Asher a heart attack?

He didn’t say no, so Hazel accepted the small victory for what it was and hummed to herself under her breath as she brainstormed outfit ideas. Asher still had a little rebellion in him, so he’d absolutely reject anything that had an undue amount of gemstones or other shiny attachments. But Hazel could probably still find him something more elegant than his usual dragon leather jackets (like who did he think he was, a rough-and-tough cursebreaker storming the temple?). She raised an eyebrow at his question – an invitation for her to keep talking, instead of the usual plea/demand for silence – so she smiled crookedly at him and stretched luxuriously in her chair. “Oh, I dunno big bro, there’re so many names. And it’s so early. How could I remember everything?” Hazel waved her wand lazily until the bottle he’d been pouring drinks from was in her hands. Another flick and she had a glass of her own too. She took a long sip and watched delightedly at how the light reflected off the amber liquid.

asher rowan burke

[asher rowan burke]

You're as free as a bird now

I carry the burden for you

March 11, 2028
Hazel Rosalie Burke

This was certainly turning into an interesting day for the siblings. Asher felt upside down and out of control, and not even Hazel could keep her usual composure. And they only seemed to make it worse for the other. It was yet another thing to blame on his past imprisonment. And losing control of his composure felt worse for Asher than if he’d lost his business empire entirely. And yet—that familiar cloud of déjà vu lingered. Asher and Hazel’s age gap meant his sister was unlikely to remember what her brother was like as a teenager or younger. Despite Ivy having only a year on Hazel, she’d always had a better memory for such details.

Life was far more simple then. And yet, an adolescent Asher would not recognize the man sitting there today. He let a heavy and frustrated sigh through his nose. Asher was done discussing the Karkaroffs and, especially these insinuations. ”Mother would settle for one of them at this point.” Asher responded dryly, now deciding he was done with the topic. If Hazel was so keen on the youngest brother, Asher wasn’t interested in intervening. There was too much on his plate and on his mind already.

And yet, the topic of the Gala wasn’t a comfortable one either. The thought of Ava left a strange fluttering in his chest. And his eyes settled to a spot across the room as his mind ventured into the dark corner of his mind—to a painful past. A past where Asher Burke was perhaps as serious and stoic as always but still capable of great feeling. ”The usual, no doubt.” The names and faces Asher knew would attend even without his attendance. The rest he wasn’t nearly aware of. ”Do the Carrows typically attend these things?” Unfortunately for Asher, Hazel had far more knowledge and experience in this area of society than he did.

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[Hazel Rosalie Burke]

Oh boo, Asher always knew how to ruin everything. And the best way to ruin a rebellion was to accept it, since that automatically made it ten times less interesting. He seemed to dismiss the subject of the Karkaroffs, like he had better things to think about, and Hazel narrowed her eyes at him. It annoyed her so much to share anything in common with her brother, which was part of the reason she never let herself look at him for too long, and in true Hazel fashion she quickly turned away in a huff and studied the gaudy decorations of the office. Definitely not something Asher had chosen for himself, probably something dear old dad had insisted on. “Oh well, if Mother insists. Really Asher, who gives a flying f-fig what she thinks.” Hazel stumbled on the word since she’d been about to say something else, but she wasn’t really in the mood for another Asher lecture on ladylike habits so early in the morning.

So instead she breezed by the moment and daintily adjusted the neat folds of her satin robes. Whatever had Asher rattled, he either hadn’t noticed her little mistake or he’d chosen to ignore it. Both strange scenarios, but their dynamic had slowly started to change since his imprisonment and whatever Hazel was…she didn’t want to rattle the cage too much. Lest the beast begin to wake up. So she considered his question for a moment and answered seriously. “They always send someone. Not her, usually, but she’s started to crop up. Seems to me like they’re hoping to marry her off soon. Can’t imagine what took them so long.” She shrugged lightly and began to fiddle with her earrings, a work of art she’d only recently finished enchanting. The little snakes curled around the gemstone leisurely.

Asher seemed lost in thought, and Hazel arched an eyebrow curiously at him. In her view, she’d been extremely patient in indulging his strange line of questioning…but come on. She was dying to know what had him so interested in a little ball. Ivy was a lot of things, but she wasn't a tease. She'd always been extremely honest and forthcoming with Hazel, even if there were things she didn't want to hear. It was a wildly different approach from secretive Asher, who'd rather die than share silly things like his thoughts and feelings with his siblings. Hazel crossed her legs, tapped her fingers on the rigid arm of her chair, and stared at Asher with that look. That ‘tell me everything before I start to say more annoying things’ look. “Spill it, Ash. Before I turn all your cufflinks to lead.”

asher rowan burke

[asher rowan burke]

You're as free as a bird now

I carry the burden for you

March 11, 2028
Hazel Rosalie Burke

Asher had never felt particularly close to their mother. Most of his time was spent away at school or acting as his father’s shadow while he worked and discussed business and other things. That wasn’t to say he didn’t care, but she was much like a broken record. Not to mention Asher had yet to visit home since his release. She wrote, and Asher responded like the dutiful son he was, plus she refused to incorporate technology into her life. Immediately, Asher saw the benefit of such technology despite its muggle roots. The success of the family far surpassed limiting one’s self that way.

Now, more than ever, the topic of marriage and connections felt like an urgent matter, at least to their mother. Their father had not said anything directly, but reading between the lines of his letters made it perfectly clear. Hazel was best positioned to help this family’s reputation. He supposed this entire conversation was ironic as Asher had been referred to as “damaged goods” once before—because of Ava Carrow. ”What she thinks is in the best interest of this family.” Asher snapped in return. ”Maybe one day you’ll realize as much.” She was testing him on a day when his patience had already worn thin.

Distractions. It was all distractions. With Ava Carrow back in his mind, Asher felt off, like he’d just spun in place. ”The rumors…” Asher mumbled. There had always been rumors of Ava’s blood status as she was an illegitimate child. Of course, the other Carrow children were pureblood, but Ava’s origins were a bit more dubious. But Asher didn’t continue. Mentally he was twenty years in the past to a different time. But, like always, his sister’s voice infiltrated his memories, and his icy eyes connected with Hazel’s immediately. ”I have business to attend to.” Asher announced, standing up and still holding his glass. After another brief moment of thought. ”May I suggest you focus on the task at hand and not business that does not concern you.” He eyed his sister intently, finishing his glass before buttoning his jacket and leaving.

[ end asher ]

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[Hazel Rosalie Burke]

Hazel huffed in irritation. Asher was usually so boring and it caused Hazel actual physical pain to have to indulge his vanilla habits. Like, his straight-laced Ministry robes that screamed ‘repressed pureblood childhood’ and his little business ventures and the way he followed their parents around like his nose was attached to their father’s ass with a Permanent Sticking Charm. Hazel was usually quite content to let Asher be while she and Ivy went off on their extravagant vacays and planning kooky lesson plans that barely followed the curriculum. But for once in his life Asher was actually being interesting and breaking from the mold, so naturally he clammed up and refused to answer any of Hazel’s questions the way she deserved to be answered.

Her fingers twitched towards her wand for one moment, as if she could annoy Asher into telling her with a Tickling Jinx, but she abandoned the thought and crossed her arms stubbornly instead. “Sure, dad,” Hazel said in an annoyed tone as Asher repeated the classic pureblood mantra like it was the first time he’d ever given her this lecture. Have the best interests of this family in mind, do what the family needs from you. Be a good pureblood girl and marry a dreadfully dull and likely soon-to-be-bald pureblood guy so you can carry on the bloodline. She was so bored of hearing those soundbites. And anyway, it was hard to differentiate between the family and Asher sometimes. Hazel was sure their mum would be just as happy to marry Asher off, more so because he was the oldest.

She waited expectantly for him to finish the thought (because any sentence that started with the word ‘rumors’ was sure to be a good one), but he only trailed off and got lost in his thoughts again. Then he finally snapped to attention and said literally the blandest thing he could’ve. I have business to attend to. Hazel fumed for a moment, then stood up from her chair suddenly and stamped her foot in frustration. Just like the tantrums she’d thrown as a child, except back then Asher had been less of a prick. “Fine, send me away so you can avoid awkward questions. Just don’t forget that all of this became my business the second you left me to handle it alone. You don’t get to have secrets from me. Not if you want to keep using me like everyone else does.” Asher had already turned to leave, so Hazel waited an excruciating twenty seconds until she was sure he’d left before stomping towards the door too. She needed a pitcher of margaritas ASAP.

asher rowan burke
[End post Hazel!]