don’t dream it’s over | juniper

[rhys alexander greyback]

there's a battle ahead

many battles are lost

June 8, 2024
juniper minerva mcgonagall

Rhys stared at the wall, but he wasn’t looking at it. Every so often, he had to remind himself to blink or even breathe. The faster his mind raced, the more his body seemed determined to remain as idle as possible—even his lungs. And all around him, an invisible fog lingered. Day by day, that fog began to intrude in his space. Rhys had started to feel confined long ago. Ironic, considering the type of life working at the museum granted him. Flexibility with his schedule, reasonable hours, and extra time on his hands.

One day, Rhys couldn’t bear it further. Not to mention, his vulture colleagues had begun to corner him any chance they could, whether to share their private thoughts with him through gritted teeth or to make him feel small. And to think it worked, despite Rhys’ height. So, who could blame Rhys for up and quitting one day? Something about the constant monotony did nothing to calm Rhys’s need always to feel the need to be prepared for whatever lay around the corner. And someone constantly shoving the fact that Rhys was indirectly responsible for people’s deaths didn’t help either. The people who tried to help Rhys after Fenrir killed his mother—the night Rhys was turned.

He wanted to chalk up Juniper’s reaction to stress. Two weeks before the last Triwizard task and the end of a very long and eventful Tournament were not the best times to mention it. In fact, Rhys had considered waiting, but no doubt Ioan would tell Marina, who would inform the whole Ministry before the sun rose the following day. So, what choice did he have? However, the turning point of that conversation was the question—what would he do now? The way his mind quickly jumped to visuals of faraway places gave him his answer. The one deep down he felt was right, but he couldn’t even respond. Not that Juniper ever struggled to read him in those moments.

There wasn’t anything quite like the pain of a forgotten and unhealed wound reopening—for both, it seemed. Saffron was brought up, causing Rhys to anger quickly at the memory of his dead best friend thrown in his face. The guilt of which he had never resolved. And Rhys angrily admitted he’d never quit the bank, and his reinstatement letter had arrived months ago. A strange tension lingered for quite some time, existing where just barely visible. Their only moments of relief came at the start of May. The end of the Tournament and time spent with his family and Juniper, at least until the other shoe dropped again.

When told of Elias’ death, Rhys thought the recurring nightmares of his father had finally been replaced with some far more terrifying ones. But that wasn’t the case. The Ministry scrambled in their response, not that he noted the passage of time in that state. At some point, he’d gone walking around, returning soaked to his skin from a sudden rainstorm that lasted the day. The fact of how many died that day made it heavier, although Rhys only cared about Elias. At least since then, the topic of employment and the future remained to the side. But it took days of mulling over the facts for Rhys to feel anything finally. And all at once, it kicked him square in the chest.

He'd tried to visit Max in the meantime but gave his younger sister space to process it all. She was just shy of fifteen, dealing with all this. And Juniper? Well, she had stepped in to try and help Rhys. Just like they helped one another cope the previous year after Saffron, although Rhys was just about useless in any supportive capacity now. Everything felt wrong, and he couldn’t figure out why, but his instincts told him there was only one thing to do. So, he dropped his backpack by the door of Juniper’s flat. He'd left the various clothes and such over the better part of the year. He wanted to do one last check for anything forgotten, but he stopped after walking a few yards when he heard the door open.

Earlier in the week, he’d stood in his flat, staring at the hidden Gringotts letter and ring box in his drawer—a fork in the road to his future. Turning in place, he waited for Juniper to enter. ”Hey…” He offered, surprised he wasn’t particularly nervous, nor were his hands trembling as they did from time to time. Reminding himself of the path he was now committed to.

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[juniper minerva mcgonagall]

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A few weeks had passed since the attack on the Durmstrang and Beaxbatons students had occurred. The push and pull of everything around her had really amped up the need to get out of the Ministry. To find something new that was more accommodating and didn't make her want to rip her hair out whenever a colleague approached her to ask for assistance. Somehow, she was the most efficient worker in the department. Wherever she went next, she was not going to make that same mistake. People needed to learn how to do their own jobs.

On top of that, Rhys had left the museum. To say she wasn't impressed was an understatement. Initially, she had been beyond frustrated, the nagging worry that things were about to slip right back to the way they were the first time really fueling her anger over it. But the longer she thought about it, she realized that it wasn't her choice to make. A little voice in the back of her head told her that he was going to go back to Cursebreaking again eventually. She could see now that there were plenty of times where he was hiding the fact that he disliked working at the museum from her. Juniper liked to think she wasn't some monster that wouldn't be with him just because he wanted to go back to the bank. It worried her because it been a year already since the accident and losing Saffron...anyone would feel apprehension over it if their loved one decided to jump right back into the job that killed their best friend.

And then, of course, there was Elias's death. Suddenly she could care less about the job problems. They didn't matter anymore, and it reminded her that Rhys being happy was more worth it than fighting over a job she didn't care for. That also meant her own exit was prolonged by quite a bit, but she was fine with that. She could deal with Marina for another month or so.

There was a lot on her mind lately, especially with keeping the peace with Rhys, so she didn't anticipate seeing him in her flat as she got home from work. "Hey," she answered in return. "What're you-?" There was a backpack sitting next to the door, and she looked between it and Rhys. Juniper wanted to believe it was just him rotating out his things with new ones, but she also knew what this meant. She'd done it once before as well. Clearing her throat, she opened her mouth but couldn't find the words she wanted. Maybe it was better to listen to his reasoning first...

rhys alexander greyback ● 444 ● Song by Artist

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[rhys alexander greyback]

there's a battle ahead

many battles are lost

June 8, 2024
juniper minerva mcgonagall

It wasn’t anxiety or unease. Rhys felt himself bracing instead. Like knowing a punch or some other type of violent blow was coming. He kept telling himself that he’d made up his mind. Everything he wanted to say was on the tip of his tongue, but it felt like too many people were trying to exit through the same small door. Clearly, he was exhausted. Bags under his eyes that no longer appeared as bright, and his pale complexion matched his mood. For a long time, Rhys chalked it up to lack of sleep and stress. But the strain of symbolically holding onto this cliff by his fingertips took its toll.

”I was just getting my things…” He swallowed, throat suddenly dry as he paused. He had considered leaving a letter or a note behind, unsure how Juniper would respond. Would she acquiesce? Would she ask him to stay? Would she fight with him or for them? Leaving a letter meant safety in never knowing that answer, but that opportunity had passed. And he had enough sense to know that in her shoes, a letter would have devastated him. He took a few steps forward to bridge the gap between them. ”Juni…I’m leaving.” His tone remained calm, though mostly not by choice. He had no energy for anything else.

With disorganized thoughts, Rhys opened his mouth to speak again. “I just—I um—I don’t know what to do anymore.” How could someone so attuned to their surroundings feel lost? It wasn’t right. The sacrifices needed to be with Juni. Obviously, he wanted to stay but mentally didn’t know how to exist. “I tried.” Merlin he had tried to make it all work. The nine-to-five, home on weekends, “normal” sort of life people wanted, but he was like a graphorn in a china shop in this life. He paused once more for the sudden lump in his throat while the rest of him further tensed up.

”I love you. More than you know.” Rhys’ tone shifted to something less calm. The truth was Rhys would probably implode if he stuck around further. And like some sinkhole, take whatever was in proximity with him. Not that he wanted an audience. And he hoped she knew that this wasn’t her fault. Not even their disagreements on his career and safety. Rhys had loved her since that night in the Astronomy Tower before he’d finally blurted it out the following spring and even when she’d left him before. How about that? Rhys felt so messed up that he’d leave the one person who ever made him feel at home. Nell suggested he talk about the deaths of his brother and best friend, but Rhys didn’t see the point. Did that ever help? It felt like a ridiculous suggestion. ”But I can’t be here right now.”

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[juniper minerva mcgonagall]

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He was…getting his things. It didn’t take much time for him to say it aloud either. Her head was buzzing because of it. So this was what it felt like to watch the person you loved pack up their belongings and walk out. The real reason she wanted to know was why. Why now? Was it going to be for a short time, while he gathered his thoughts about Elias? Or because he actually was going back to the bank and knew she didn’t want that. But this was all so abrupt. There hadn’t been any conversations about it, no fights, no nothing. Sure, she had been upset when he left the museum, but it was more out of concern than anything else. The same way she had been worried about his injuries and long trips while he was a cursebreaker. The real issue was always communication, and this already had the feeling of going the same way. No talks about what was really wrong at hand, leading to one of them imploding and leaving. Last time it was her, now it was his turn apparently.

Juniper really wanted to respond but she didn’t know what to say. His mind was already made up, and he seemed to have accepted the defeat of their relationship again all on his own. She knew what that was like, sort of. This felt more like he was running away though. Had she been that blind to things being bad again? It didn’t seem like it to her, aside from the occasional squabble.

The somewhat mixed signals didn’t help either. If he loved her, then why wasn’t he trying anymore and deciding to leave? All she could do was blink at him because it wasn’t making much sense. Such a unilateral decision being made without her input was confusing. ”Did I do something?” she asked quietly. ”We can…we can talk about it, Rhys,” Juniper added, reaching out for his arm. Did it matter though? He was already packed to leave. If she hadn’t gotten home when she did, he would have left all on his own. Talk about horrible timing. At least she knew this way.

rhys alexander greyback ● 362 ● Song by Artist

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[rhys alexander greyback]

there's a battle ahead

many battles are lost

June 8, 2024
juniper minerva mcgonagall

Rhys could see Juniper trying to process everything he said. And Rhys felt he made it worse every time he opened his mouth. How did he express what he was feeling, and why he was doing this? Words didn’t seem to do it justice. Internally, Rhys had already begun the process of resurrecting those walls and shields. His words, however, were true. He still loved her, but he couldn’t stay. He wanted to distance himself for a moment and not let Juni touch him because he knew it would make it more difficult, but the genuine confusion kept him from doing so.

”No…it's not you.” Not intentionally. How long until they ended up like before? Juni is upset with Rhys over something, and Rhys is halfway down a bottle of whiskey before they deal with it. And true to form, she offered up a solution but not one Rhys thought would help. ”I’m going back to work for the bank.” He sort of spoke abruptly. ”I just…I can’t—“ He stepped back, that claustrophobic feeling returning while his thoughts slipped away from him. ”I just can’t be here right now. I need to go.”

It all felt like too much, and so much was asked of Rhys, and he had nothing to give. ”You were always miserable when I worked with the bank. So it's probably for the best.” Rhys offered up the logical explanation. Not to mention increased anxiety about his safety now that they’d already lost one good friend. Aside from that, Rhys didn’t know what else to say. He really wondered what Juni would say. If she fought him on this, it would make it more difficult. However, on that same note, if she didn’t…Rhys wouldn’t know how to perceive that.

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[juniper minerva mcgonagall]

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She could hear the rising desperation in her voice as she weakly pled. Juniper knew his mind was already made up and there was no turning back. She’d put him in the same position just two years earlier, except then they’d at least had problems. This though…it seemed like Rhys was trying to get out before any of that even had a chance to happen again. In the moment, it simultaneously scared and frustrated her. She liked to think she had grown in the time since their first go at this, learning how to be more patient and tactful with expressing her thoughts. Not to mention that she had spoken to others who were still in similar positions in their relationships, where their significant other was off galivanting the world on a dangerous job and still managing to make it work. Suffice to say, she knew that she had been controlling near the end of it. Out of extreme worry, of course. The worst had come to pass after all, with Saff suffering the ultimate fate.

Hearing him actually say he was going back to the bank was the end of it though. Juniper could not comprehend what was so alluring about the job. They’d lost a friend to it. Merlin, Rhys had almost died too! Why would any sane person want to go back to that. If it was just to work for Gringotts, there were other jobs available. He could work as a trainer – help the new recruits learn the best ways to avoid the same fate that befell him and Saffron. Try to prevent future deaths and serious injury. But she knew that wasn’t what he meant by saying he was going back. He wanted to travel and explore and crawl into abandoned tombs to try and find long forgotten cursed treasures. And he was exorcising their relationship before it came to a head again instead.

She wanted to tell him that she could deal with it this time, but they both knew that wasn’t true. Not so soon after Saffron. Or maybe ever. She felt helpless standing in the entrance to her apartment. She had zero say in any of this, and while that was probably for the best, like Rhys was saying, it frustrated her. He didn’t really know how she had felt for all those years on her own while he was working. The weeks of no contact and the rumors of other cursebreaking teams in the same area being injured or killed. The never knowing if she’d see him again. She knew what that was like now, and really did not want to attend another funeral. Especially not for him.

Looking away from him while he talked, she finally dropped her own bag and started to move out of the way. What could she even say at this point? His mind was made up. Everything that she wanted to say would fall on deaf ears and it would only push her into a state that she really didn’t want to be in in front of him. ”When should…should I come get my things?” she asked, feeling a lump starting to form in her throat. Now she just wanted him gone, to spare him seeing the mess she was going to turn into.

rhys alexander greyback ● 549 ● Song by Artist

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[rhys alexander greyback]

there's a battle ahead

many battles are lost

June 8, 2024
juniper minerva mcgonagall

As Rhys suspected, Juniper seemed to stop after he told her his intentions. Life as a cursebreaker once more, despite a near-fatal incident the year before. Rhys and Archer had reconnected earlier in the year as his frustrations with the museum grew. It would not be the same team dynamic as once existed without Saffron—but Rhys needed somewhere familiar to regain his footing. And what better distraction from all the compartmentalized pain continuously brought into his life—not including the pain he was creating right now.

Defeat was in her voice. Rhys had stood in her shoes before as the panic in his core turned into an icy bitterness. At least she didn’t seem angry. He wished Juniper was angry rather than the obvious hurt emanating from her. Since Rhys had already placed his spare key to her flat on the coffee table, there wasn’t anything else left to do there. He was pretty sure everything he wished to take was in his bag. He didn’t immediately answer her question. Stepping forward, he slung his bag over his shoulder, turning to Juniper a last time. ”You can come by anytime, I’ll be away for a few weeks.” In fact he left that night. And there it was, the feelings beginning to crawl out from their hiding spot. ”I’m sorry…” He said quietly before leaving.

[ end rhys ]

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