Writhing In The Facade Of Time [Rhys]

[rhys alexander greyback]

they say don't open old wounds

but I want to

November 12, 2028
juniper minerva mcgonagall

Rhys focused on his breathing. It was all he could do until this passed. There was always this lingering lightheaded feeling, and if the attack was bad enough, he even felt nauseous by the end. Immediately, he felt her hand on his shoulder, a reminder she was here with him. It was a process, but at least he could hear what Juniper was saying over the voices flying around in his mind. While he listened to her words—he didn’t immediately acknowledge. Reaching across his chest, his hand gently grabbed hers as he focused on anchoring himself to the present.

The irony of work—this could be immensely helpful if he knew how to utilize it properly. But the physical cost wasn’t worth it in the field. ”I already have…” He didn’t have the energy to fight or find a way to become defensive. Finally, he lifted his head and opened his eyes. ”Your necklace—did I…?” He didn’t recall if he’d gotten the clasp secured or maybe he dropped it. The last thing he really recalled was feeling the metal against his fingers. So much for casual. This wasn’t all that different from years ago.

Over the past eight months, they had rebuilt part of a connection they had once shared. Setting boundaries eventually failed, although they avoided that final plunge due to their previous experiences and memories of heartbreak. Eight months ago, Rhys would have been decidedly tight-lipped on this whole thing, but now? Clearing his throat, Rhys began. ”I—uh—right before Amelia was born, I had this…accident.” It wasn’t anything like when Saffron died, but still eventful nonetheless. ”Just a concussion…but I couldn’t remember what happened.” As his body continued to calm, Rhys felt his heart still beating quickly, but exhaustion began to creep in.

Pausing, he ran his hand over his face again. Rhys’ brain was doing that thing where he’d space out and forget his thoughts. Part of him wanted to stop with the explanation, but the idea of moving from this spot on the floor felt impossible. ”I’d found a photograph of my mum…and I—uh—” Swallowing hard, Rhys clenched his jaw to keep himself steady. ”And then I saw…a memory.” Again he leaned his head back, opting to stare at the ceiling. ”Like…like she was here.” He’d lost count of how many healers had told him that it was all some kind of flashback from all he’d been through in his life. But Rhys knew better. Flashbacks he’d been familiar with, but not this. Even saying it out loud felt insane. Rhys sounded crazy and felt crazy, too. ”But it wasn’t mine…”

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Her necklace...? Juniper raised her hand to touch where it had been only moments before Rhys's fit, not finding it around her neck where it should have been. He must not have managed to clasp it shut before whatever this was, happened. In her own panic over the situation, Juniper had barely had time to realize it once again fell from her, and it now sat on the floor a couple of feet away from them. She could get it later. For now, her focus was all on Rhys and whatever was going on with him. "Its alright," she shook her head to confirm that he hadn't managed to put it on her. Having it fall on the ground was the least of her worries. It had been through worse, protected by the various charms Saff had managed to imbue into it all those years ago. In all likelihood, it would probably outlast her lifespan as well. Her friend had done an impressive job on it.

Juniper wasn't expecting to actually get an answer. So much of their past together had been spent glossing over situations like this, right up until it imploded in their faces. She supposed the honesty and willingness could have been because they weren't dating. Or maybe this time it actually came across that she was significantly concerned about what had just occurred. Her body became tense as Rhys explained that a few years prior, he'd had another accident. A concussion this time. She could feel her eyebrows start to furrow as he went on to describe having memories suddenly introduced to him, that supposedly weren't his, when he'd picked up an old photograph. Her first question would have been 'was the object charmed or cursed?', but considering it was a personal belonging of his, that seemed impossible.

"Has this happened since then?" Juniper asked. It didn't take much to put it all together that he'd just had a similar experience, and it happened when he'd touched her necklace. That would explain why he was muttering about Saffron. The problem she had with it was that it didn't make a lot of sense. A person couldn't get a concussion and then suddenly become, what? Able to see the past? "Maybe during that accident you touched a cursed object or something? One that could cause flashbacks?" Receiving visions of people long dead wasn't normal at all. Sure, there were magical objects that could do that. But that revolved around memory spells and unbelievably rare items like a Pensieve. Even with magic, logically it didn't make much sense.

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[rhys alexander greyback]

they say don't open old wounds

but I want to

November 12, 2028
juniper minerva mcgonagall

Rhys followed Juniper’s eyes as she checked for the necklace. It wasn’t far, but Rhys couldn’t clasp it after all. Merlin—he couldn’t even do that right, could he? Maybe he shouldn’t have touched it after his defenses had already gone down by the previous memory. It was remarkable, however, that it had occurred in such a fashion. Then again, once Rhys ‘saw’ something, he rarely made another attempt so soon. Like the Cursebreaker he was, Rhys made a mental note of the fact. There wasn’t anyone to explain how this worked to him, and there were no books either. So, like a lot of things in his life, Rhys had to figure it out on his own.

And yet, through his broken explanation, Juni had not run for the hills. At a minimum, Rhys expected her to break physical contact. In the past, fights and breakups were always small actions that would hurt Rhys more than words could. But she didn’t move. Juni didn’t owe Rhys anything. Their casual obligations to one another were limited to other activities. Had he looked at Juni right now, Rhys would’ve been staring in surprise. The flashback had knocked Rhys down to a state where he didn’t have the energy to defend himself, so to speak. In the past, Rhys wouldn’t have bothered to explain.

Nodding in the affirmative, Rhys thought of the items he’d experimented with. The initial incident with his mother’s photograph had knocked him down quite similarly, so working with fewer personal items had been easiest. ”I don’t know…” Rhys mumbled, shaking his head again. ”I can’t remember what happened.” Unfortunately, this was a growing trend with accidents. This time, he suspected a curse, but the last time, Rhys wondered if he and Archer had been obliviated. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a way to tell. Rhys inhaled deeply and exhaled, feeling physically a little calmer but mentally still wired.

”I’m sorry you had to deal with this.” It wasn’t her problem. Even if they had remained together, Rhys considered it something for him to deal with. Burdening anyone with something so greatly unknown felt like a curse in itself. And he’d managed this long with it mostly on his own. What was the rest of his life? But Merlin, if it hadn’t been good to hear Saffron’s voice again. Sage never sounded like her. The sound was similar, but the pitch and other idiosyncrasies were hers. He remained quiet, thoughts lingering on what he’d seen. Juniper had been so upset after that fight, and so had Rhys. But he recalled leaving and not returning until the following morning, still drunk. The other memory, however, had hurt worse because the moment had felt so candid and…normal. ”Bloody snare traps…” Rhys muttered, mostly to himself.

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So it was a reoccurring problem then. She hated to think that these ‘visions’ could suddenly occur at any given moment. How terrifying that had to be. Especially if he had Amelia with him. How was he supposed to explain a sudden attack like this? She didn’t even know if it was right to call it that, because it looked to her like a strange combination of a seizure and anxiety attack, where he drifted off for a moment or two. Rhys continued and explained that he didn’t know what had actually transpired when he received his concussion. Which meant that it could have been almost anything. It sounded to her like he had accidentally put his hand somewhere where it didn’t belong and was now receiving these freaky flashbacks in return. Unfortunately, there was nothing she could do to help. Without knowing what it was specifically, no one really could. She just hoped he had told the healers everything during his follow-ups for the concussion. Knowing the way he was when it came to getting help from others though…

”You don’t have to apologize,” Juniper gave him a weak smile before moving her hand up to his face reassuringly. ”Whatever this is, it’s not something you can control, right?” What she really wanted to say was that he needed to see a curse specialist. Juniper knew what would happen if she pushed him too much though. He’d fight back against it. Nothing would come of it until something drastic occurred, potentially harming him or someone else. Did she wish he had said something prior to now, especially since they were sort of seeing one another more often? Yeah, she did. There was never anything wrong with their trust, just that their lives had diverged too much due to work.

From how Rhys had reacted just now, and the way he’d said Saffron’s name, it sounded like whatever he’d witnessed was about their friend. For a sliver of a moment, she wished that she could have the same experience. One more time was all she had ever wanted. ”I hope it was a good memory,” Juniper said wistfully as she moved fully onto the floor next to him and did her best to pull him closer.

rhys alexander greyback ● 376

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[rhys alexander greyback]

they say don't open old wounds

but I want to

November 12, 2028
juniper minerva mcgonagall

Rhys looked at her when he felt her hand on his face. Nothing about this was casual. Somewhere in the back of his mind he probably knew casual was impossible for them. Short of a strong memory charm, nothing would take away all they’d been through together. Whatever occurred that day only muddled what little Rhys knew of this curse or whatever it was. Never had he ‘seen’ something accidentally. While he wanted to try to explain everything he had learned so far, Rhys didn’t. Maybe another time when he wasn’t as tired or when the information wasn’t as new. But he did have one request.

”Juni, I—uh—you’re the only person I’ve told aside from Dahlia and Max.” Rhys felt sure she wouldn’t gossip about this. Aside from how insane it sounded, he didn’t need the bank to find a reason to retire him yet. She sat next to him, and he found it comforting. One of those memories had been good, he supposed. If not, it’s bittersweet. Now that it had passed, Rhys felt like seeing Saffron comforting a very upset Juniper was like intruding on a private moment. However, he regretted seeing it because it reminded him of when he wasn’t at his best.

”It doesn’t usually happen like that…” He let his hand rest on the inside of her leg, his thumb lightly grazing near her knee. It wasn’t some suggestive move, but merely Rhys finding that comforting physical connection. ”But Saff was on my mind.” It was an accident, but it wasn’t. With Saffron on his mind, Rhys created some sort of intention without realizing it. Memories were fickle because even the best ones left mixed emotions. ”I think she was deciding what traps to let me walk into.” Saffron would’ve never let Rhys seriously injure himself or worse, but enough to annoy him and amuse her. Looking ahead, Rhys smiled wistfully. ”She always liked you more than me.” It was a fact, but not one that had ever bothered Rhys.

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Drifting back into the role as a secret-keeper of sorts hadn't been how she'd imagined the day after birthday to go, but here they were once again. Some things never changed between them despite space and time. This amount of vulnerability, and blanket honesty about how he was feeling, had always been hard to get out of him. Having it fall into her lap like this was strange and new, though she supposed the situation sort of required it to be. Whatever magic - be it a curse or some other sinister malady - had taken over Rhys, he needed the support. It was good to hear that his sisters already knew too. Knowing the way Dahlia was, she was probably now wishing her own concussion had caused a similar occurrence.

"Of course she did," Juniper smiled, trying to hide a laugh. "Because you and Archer were associated with work. And I was the reprieve from it." Strangely, Juniper had been the same way for him too. Unintentionally, of course. But she was the one who stayed home for all of them to come back to. "I know I've said it before, but I wish that I had been friends with her in school. It's always felt like we missed out on so much time together..." Mostly because of her work schedule. Saffron hadn't been nearly as diligent with going on new jobs as Rhys had been those first few years. Six years of friendship wasn't enough though. The fact that it could have been double that had they been friendly at Hogwarts was a tough pill to swallow. And she knew that it was all on her back then. Purposely rejecting friendships and focusing on schoolwork. It was a miracle she managed to snag Rhys during that time.

She moved her hand down to the one he had placed on her leg, and laced her fingers through his. The comfort was necessary right now. "Moving forward..." Juniper began, wondering herself where she was going with this train of thought. "If this happens again, I'll be here for you. Whether you need to talk about it or vent, or just need the company." There was no reason for Rhys to have to suffer through it alone anymore.

rhys alexander greyback ● 376

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[rhys alexander greyback]

they say don't open old wounds

but I want to

November 12, 2028
juniper minerva mcgonagall

Rhys still waited for the inevitable moment when Juniper politely excused herself and left Rhys to deal with his stuff. And honestly, he wouldn’t blame her. Who would want to deal with Rhys and his life? He barely wanted to deal with parts of it at times. Leaving for work and heading to another part of the world was his main means of escape because he focused entirely on the task at hand and surviving. And he was in his element in those times. While others would have broken under the stress and pressure, Rhys remained calm and decisive. But outside of that state—it wasn’t the same.

Hearing Juni’s words was like twisting a dagger in his chest. The time one had with a person never felt long enough. Rhys wondered how many times he would sit on the memory of dead family and friends. His mother, his brother, and his best friend. But he wasn’t sure if he agreed with Juni. They were different people at that age, and even the smallest changes affected everything. Would he have befriended Saffron or Sage during those years? Flossie and Claire were the only other Gryffindors he’d befriended at the time, but they were never on the same energy level as Saffron.

His eyes moved to where her hand met his. It was a tender gesture but a comforting one, nonetheless. The last time he’d felt this sentimental was probably after the accident. She’d stuck by him without him asking, and all because she was still on his paperwork. Lightly, he squeezed her leg to acknowledge. All this was far too many emotions at once and far more than he was used to. ”Thank you.” The last thing he wanted to do was collapse into some blubbering mess, so he did his best to hold it together. ”I’m sorry you and Saff never made it to Greece.” He had debated bringing it up. In Rhys’s testing, the ‘visions’ had been limited to his personal items or random items. Seeing the memories today…it felt incredibly intrusive because it was Juniper. Until now, he hadn’t thought about it that way.

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While Juniper knew that she wasn’t currently in the same role that she once was, it didn’t change anything about what she had just told him. Over the years, she had learned that she wasn’t required to be with him to still worry and care. The accident had proved that, and while there had been a large span of time in between then and now, she had never actively stopped caring about him. It was a different type of emotion than what it had begun as, and she was still trying to figure it out now. Even if what they were doing now never made it past this stage, she had decided that her life was better when Rhys was in it.

Giving him a nod of acknowledgement at his thanks, she was surprised by his next comment. Greece? That had been discussed briefly, years ago, before Saff had passed. She couldn’t even recall now at what point in time that actually was, in regard to her and Rhys being together or not. ”I…I had forgotten about that,” she said slowly. Was this what he had seen just now? She felt horrible that she could have misplaced such a memory. It was coming back now, of course, and she remembered how much Saff had been excited to go on a vacation that wasn’t work-related. The two of them had never managed to get up and escape at the same time. Juniper’s own schedule at the Ministry had always conflicted with when Saffron was back.

She took a deep breath to even herself out as more memories rushed back to her. Getting caught up in all of this was really starting to do a number on her. Going from surprise and fear about Rhys’s condition, to taking a deep trip down memory lane was not easy. ”You know, she would have been the best aunt ever too. That was the first thing I thought of when I found out Sage was pregnant.” Before she knew Rhys was the father, too. They had probably all thought about that at one point or another by now. Here they were, half a decade later, still talking about her. Still the annoying, energized Gryffindor even in memory. Which was exactly how she would have wanted it too. Saffron was never going to be truly gone.

rhys alexander greyback ● 390

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[rhys alexander greyback]

they say don't open old wounds

but I want to

November 12, 2028
juniper minerva mcgonagall

Rhys had never told Vasilia about this. Why? Well, he didn’t have an answer to that question. He supposed the same fears lingered—that she would decide he wasn’t worth the trouble. But considering how easily she navigated his prickly personality and accepted that he would be a new father, the fear was probably unfounded. Still, Rhys thought of how she’d left him earlier that year. The experience had hurt despite the months of bracing himself for something to happen. Sometimes, he wondered if that drunken library tryst would have happened one way or another. And it wasn’t a matter if Rhys would cross that line but if Juniper would have crossed it with him. How many years had gone by, and Rhys couldn’t stay away from her? If Vasilia had known the truth, Rhys would’ve been kicked to the curb long ago.

The moment Rhys had witnessed was probably a very old memory for Juni, locked away behind whatever was in the forefront these days. He knew her well enough to know how her train of thought might go. As a silence passed, Rhys could feel the energy radiating from her. Maybe he should not have brought it up. ”Between her and Dahlia, Amelia would know how to swear in multiple languages.” Rhys smiled. Somehow, he just saw Saffron getting on well with his sister, even if she was more on the prickly side as he was. ”You know, once she got over the fact that I knocked up her sister...” Rhys didn’t need Saffron standing in front of him to know that she’d find it personally offensive that Rhys slept with her identical twin sister. They were identical, but for Rhys, they were still easy to tell apart.

Rhys tried to picture Saffron interacting with Amelia, immediately bringing a lump to his throat. He took a deep breath to ground himself. Saffron would have adored Amelia as everyone seemed to, and it was also his and Sage’s luck that she didn’t birth twins, as apparently there was some hereditary factor. Struggling to ground himself again, Rhys closed his eyes and leaned his head back, sniffing slightly. Merlin, when was the last time his eyes watered? And not just because sand was irritating them. But clearly, thinking of Saffron and his daughter in the same breadth was a tad too much. Anytime Rhys saw his daughter and how different her childhood already was from his—it always hit him. With his free hand, he pinched the bridge of his nose for a little bit.

For all the years they spent together, Rhys recalled conversations where a family or children were mentioned, but he didn’t remember ever going further than that. Since it was all ideological discussions, it lacked the seriousness to scare him. But the truth was, Rhys had feared fatherhood nearly as much as he feared his own father. Amelia had almost everything Rhys never had, and that was his goal in the end. Rhys exhaled deeply again. ”Merlin—I’m exhausted.” He mumbled. These episodes always took such a toll on him in so many ways.

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Juniper was sort of surprised that Dahlia hadn't already attempted to teach the little girl vulgarities. She had what? Two? Three languages under her belt? There had been a passing comment about being able to read hieroglyphics at one point too, which Juniper had always assumed counted as a language too, despite it being from a dead spoken one. This train of thought disappeared as Rhys continued to talk, and she sort of agreed with him that the shock from Amelia being conceived would have been interesting to witness. She personally didn't think Saffron would have been weird about it. Even though the twins were virtually identical, everything else about them wasn't. There couldn't have been a larger difference in their personalities either. "She probably would have punched you as a congratulations," Juniper commented. She could envision it too.

They both dipped into silence, and Juniper waited to see what he wanted to do next. What had just happened seemed to have drained him mentally, but with the way he was slouched on the floor, it looked to have gotten to him physically as well. She continued to stay where she was, occasionally giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. She imagined it was like coming down from a panic attack, just one that also happened to apparently give visions of the past and of dead loved ones. It was terrifying.

Eventually, Rhys stated that he was exhausted and she nodded at him. "I think I could go for a few more hours of sleep," she lied, throwing in a fake yawn for good measure. He'd go back to bed if it was suggested this way. But not if she tried to force him. Getting to her feet, she held out a hand to help him up. Not that she had any sort of leverage based on her size, but it was the thought that mattered. Behind her, her necklace still lay on the floor where it had dropped. She eyed it briefly, before turning back to Rhys, "How about it?"

rhys alexander greyback ● 340

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[rhys alexander greyback]

they say don't open old wounds

but I want to

November 12, 2028
juniper minerva mcgonagall

Rhys smiled in agreement. That was true. Saffron was always fiery in every way, and while the punch would have angered Rhys, he also knew it was her strange way of showing that she cared. ”That’s true.” IN a sense, had Saffron not expressed herself that way—Rhys would have been worried. As if he stopped mattering or she didn’t care enough to react. Seeing her in memories of that day brought Rhys back to those days, healing from the accident. It could’ve just been the physical exhaustion, but Rhys didn’t feel like five and a half years had passed. That wound felt open again.

Hearing her voice again was…something. But everything came at a cost. As they sat silently, Rhys tried to find a word for how he felt. But he’d never been good at that. For sure, though, he felt sad. And bringing it up this way, Rhys figured Juniper probably felt it, too. She expressed how she was also tired; the search for the necklace and dealing with him seemed to take their energy. Taking her hand, he pushed himself up; otherwise, he would have just brought her back to the floor with him. It's not like he hadn’t fallen asleep on his floor before—well, they both had at some point.

”Yea.” He also spotted the locket. Something inside didn’t want him to move, and he knew what could happen if he didn’t focus when touching the object. But he took a few steps forward and grabbed it. The metal was cold in his fingers, and he waited for that cold chill, but it never appeared. Walking back to Juni, he held one end and the claps between his hands. Rhys didn’t ask her to turn, but standing close to her, he could see what he was doing. At least he got the clasp done this time. Now, the locket was firmly where it belonged. ”There.”

Looking at Juni, Rhys felt something he hadn’t felt in a while—hope, despite the sorrow that hovered. Years ago, when Rhys ran into Juni at the pub, he wondered if there would ever be a day when she wasn’t so angry with him for how he left. Maybe he was just feeling sentimental, or these feelings were real. Softly, he touched the side of her face while remaining close. ”Thank you for staying with me.”

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Juniper could convince herself all she wanted that she had helped Rhys get back up, but they both knew she was only there for moral support and a potential cushion in case he tipped forward onto her. She could haul stacks of books around the Witch TV office all day yet knew Rhys was too much to keep standing on her own. Thankfully, he seemed to have recovered enough to stay up. Visually, he still looked awful. With the way everything had been explained to her, she could see why. Suddenly being bombarded with audiovisual memories from other people wasn't exactly something one could casually shake off.

For a brief second, she thought he was about to collapse again, as he leaned forward and started towards the ground. Instead, he had grabbed the necklace off of the floor. She had intended to let it stay there until he was back in bed, not wanting to tempt fate by having it brush up against him and cause another vision. Juniper felt her breath catch slightly, assuming the same would happen as before, but Rhys managed to walk back to her and finally clasp it around her neck. The cold metal returning to its rightful place. But she felt different about it now. Was she going to have to be careful with it around Rhys? And what about her other sentimental possessions? Juniper knew it was neither of their faults here, but the creeping guilt of it being her necklace that caused the problem today was going to be hard to shake.

As Rhys placed his hand on her face, she could already tell that he was going to do his usual and try to brush all of this aside. They'd been together far too long for her to not see it in his eyes. She nodded her head at his thanks, took hold of his free hand. "You'll figure out whatever this is," she said. Affirmation had always helped him. For now, they needed to sleep more.

[The End]

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