whispers in the dark [Parvati]

[Casimir Elias Karkaroff]

15 April 2029

Cas had first started drinking at the Leaky Cauldron because he needed somewhere discreet to speak with other Order members – a place where they could feasibly run into each other without raising any red flags. There wasn’t any need for the secrecy anymore (of that flavor, at least, because Cas always had half a dozen ventures that required the utmost secrecy), but he’d never broken the habit. There wasn’t anything special about the place, not that he could see, but it was a revolving door of travelers and businessmen and there were all kinds of interesting conversations to cautiously eavesdrop on.

He wasn’t paying much attention to whatever was in his glass, since his attention was mostly directed towards the goblins sitting at a nearby table. Cas kept his head down, gaze focused on his drink while he quietly listened. He’d worked with goblins for years at Gringotts and gotten used to the hushed tones of their conversations around wizard places. He couldn’t say he liked them much, but business was business and both sides understood the value of that. Cas didn’t have to like his clients or his business partners as long as they both got what they wanted at the end of the day – and to that end, it meant he didn’t much care who he dealt with. Just so long as they were speaking the same language (if not galleons, then at least something equally valuable).

As always, he momentarily diverted his attention whenever he heard someone come through the door (because he liked to know exactly who was in the room with him, just in case). He glanced towards the door, only to stop in a moment of shock at the sight of Parvati. A moment later, he unfroze so he could take another sip of his drink. Cas supposed it wasn’t strange for anyone to pass through here, so it wasn’t strange for Parvati to show up. There had once been a time when they’d spoken on a weekly basis, and even more during particularly tense times for the Order or Ouroboros – but Cas hadn’t seen her since he’d gone to say goodbye after the fire at Hogwarts. It had seemed unnecessary to risk exposing his secret by maintaining the friendship after he’d stayed under the radar for years…but it had still been a bitter choice to make. He figured she would spot him at any moment, but he was still undecided about what should happen next. He sipped his drink, although he’d completely lost interest in the goblins.

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

April 15, 2029

It was a Thursday, and Parvati was returning to Diagon Alley via the Leaky Cauldron after running an errand in Muggle London. She stepped back into the pub with the intention of going through the establishment and continuing on with the rest of her shopping from there, taking the opportunity before her schedule ramped up again. She shut the door after herself and then looked back in the direction in which she needed to walk, only to be met with a face she hadn't seen in almost three years: Casimir Karkaroff.

The last time they had seen one another had been a tearful goodbye at her flat amidst her profound grief following Shreya's death. His work for the Order done, they had both understood the danger of making their association known outside of that context. Parvati knew that he wasn't that far away—just as far as Knockturn Alley—and had still met with his sister, Anastasia, since then, but Cas had his reasons to protect himself that Parvati didn't want to breach. He still crossed her mind, however, particularly because of his kindnesses to her.

Cas was seated at a table, where he had a drink. Parvati's gaze locked on him, and she moved the edges of her mouth the slightest bit upwards in recognition of his being there. She didn't know what he had been up to and didn't know if he was there alone or planning to meet someone, so she acted with restraint and hoped that he would perceive her gratitude, if nothing else. She had come out the other side of one of the darkest times in her life, and she had him, among others, to thank for that.

Casimir Elias Karkaroff

[Casimir Elias Karkaroff]

The disbandment of the Order sometimes felt like it had happened much longer ago – a distant memory that preyed on the edges of Cas’s mind, but never seemed to occupy center stage anymore. It seemed to have happened in another life, to another Cas, in those distant days when he’d grappled with his own morality and why he constantly put himself in danger (for personal gain? For a cause? The uncertainty of his answer had haunted him). But all that time disappeared in a flash at the shock of seeing Parvati. It suddenly felt like they’d only said goodbye yesterday, the emotions of that day overwhelmingly difficult to ignore. They should have been happy, in a sense – the defeat of the Purifiers had been their goal for years – but they’d both been grappling with grief. Parvati had lost her daughter, and Cas? He’d lost his connection to the only thing that had ever given him a chance at redemption.

He’d been living these last few years for himself. There was a family reputation to protect, there was gold to be made – but he knew how selfish he was being. But Parvati had always been consistent, one of the only ones that’d actually seemed to believe in him. To trust in his motivations lining up with hers. As they made eye contact, Parvati smiled slightly in the slightest hint of acknowledgement. Cas raised his glass slightly, a silent toast, and vaguely gestured at the chair in front of him. They could have easily gone their own separate ways after that brief moment of recognition, but in all reality – he didn’t want to. She’d been a confidant, once, and he’d missed those fleeting opportunities to be honest with someone.

Besides, his table was isolated. His only nearby neighbors were the goblins, and they weren’t paying any attention to the wizards around them (their conversation had become steadily more hushed, and they looked distinctly unhappy). Cas didn’t see the harm in a conversation of a few minutes. Or rather – he saw all the potential avenues for this to end in disaster, but he missed his friend more than he feared the consequences. The world had changed drastically three years ago, but there were some few things he wished could have stayed the same. And maybe for a few minutes, he could at least remember what it felt like back then.

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

April 15, 2029

Just then, Cas lifted his glass in a way that wasn't purely by chance and motioned to the chair opposite him. Parvati, who had anticipated the delay of needing to get a message to him through his sister, was a bit taken aback that he would be so open. Then again, it had been years, and he had been a Curse-Breaker once. On that basis, it wasn't as though his only contacts were people engaged in potentially illicit activities.

While she hadn't wanted to put him on edge or cause him to resent his involvement in the Order, Parvati also trusted that Cas could decide those things for himself. Quietly, she came over to his table and sat down across from him. She waited another moment before saying anything, however, and looked him over. He looked well, she noted.

Attempting to catch up on the years of life following the most recent formation of the Order would be too difficult there. At least, the Cas she'd known wouldn't be so forthcoming. Starting off their conversation so that he didn't have to, Parvati addressed him. "How have you been?" she asked, hoping to sound casual but knowing that she probably sounded as though she were in a counseling session instead.

Casimir Elias Karkaroff

[Casimir Elias Karkaroff]

Parvati sitting across the table struck a note of familiarity, since it was once a scene that had played out a million times before. The Order’s safe houses were isolated, and there wasn’t much reason to visit unless you’d coordinated a meeting or needed time to yourself. So once upon a time, Cas and Parvati would regularly meet to strategize, debate, exchange information. He would bring his ledgers to review suspicious purchases, and she would supplement his knowledge with stories from the past and a first-hand understanding of how the other side liked to work (strangely enough, history always seemed to repeat itself). Occasionally, they’d even come together to silently grieve, each in their own way. They’d certainly faced enough tragedy over the years, both personal and professional.

Still, he was confronted with the fact that he didn’t truly know Parvati anymore. It had been three years, three long and formative years that could deeply change a person. He remembered her as she’d been, but Cas didn’t know what the years might have done to her since. Losing family could change a lot of things – who knew better than him? He shrugged a little at her question. It was incredibly classic of her, as she’d always been one of the only people he knew who’d asked him about things like his emotions or how he’d been. Most people didn’t bother with that sort of small talk.

“Busy,” he said succinctly, weighing how to expand on his answer while still maintaining a sense of ambiguity to anyone who might be listening in, “The fire triggered a lot of changes in the dynamics between families. We’ve done well.” It was true – the Karkaroffs had emerged fairly unscathed from the whole ordeal, since they’d backed the right side this time. While a lot of pureblood families had gone into a downward spiral, losing prestige and assets, the Karkaroff family had been taking advantage and reaping the benefits. They were an oddly united island of stability amongst all the chaos. “And you?” he asked as he took another sip of his drink. “I wasn’t sure you would return to Hogwarts.” Nobody would’ve blamed her if she hadn’t. After the school had finished its rebuilding and restructuring process, there’d been a lot of questions about which professors would return and which parents would allow their children to attend as students.

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

April 15, 2029

"Busy," Cas answered her initially. "The fire triggered a lot of changes in the dynamics between families. We've done well."

Parvati nodded, understanding what he meant without his needing to elaborate. The Karkaroffs' dynamics were more likely to change because of everything that had gone on, given their views. Though she and Ernie were both from pure-blood families themselves, it wasn't anything to do with purity that had affected them. Losing Shreya, however, had.

"And you? I wasn’t sure you would return to Hogwarts."

There were times when Parvati hadn't been sure of that herself, particularly right after the fire. Cas had last seen her during that stage. "I had to keep myself distracted," she admitted. If she hadn't had something to do—working for the Department of Magical Education as part of the Hogwarts Rebuilding Efforts Council and then returning to the school as the counselor and Head of Gryffindor House—she wasn't sure what she would have done. "It still hurts," she added softly. There were always reminders of the past. "There's a memorial at MAGIC, with the names of everyone who's died at Hogwarts…" Plenty of them were people she had known, between the work of Lord Voldemort in her youth and Elaine Dupree years later. "It still destroys me to see Shreya's name there."

Casimir Elias Karkaroff

[Casimir Elias Karkaroff]

After so many years of watching the Karkaroff family decline into oblivion, it was strange to see the successes of this generation. But there was an undeniable sense of accomplishment in watching the family’s fortunes change and know that he’d been largely responsible for it (while also acknowledging Ana’s achievements in the Ministry and even Damian’s success in not being tossed out of the Prophet nose first). His father had taunted and endlessly tortured his two oldest sons, so Cas took a savage satisfaction in knowing that the Karkaroff patriarch’s disastrous legacy was gone and his own will had proven stronger in the end. He couldn’t communicate any of this openly to Parvati, but he thought she understood. She knew some of the basic history.

He saw the familiar grief in her eyes as she remembered her daughter. Cas nodded slightly at the mention of open wounds, bringing the glass to his lips to disguise the hardness that entered his face. Even with this undeniable victory over his father, Cas could never quite shake the grip the man still had on him – even in death. It was different for Parvati…the bonds that kept her tied to her daughter were made of love, but in the end, love wasn’t so very different from hate. The intensity of either emotion could always overwhelm everything else.

“She’ll be remembered right, for the hero she was,” Cas said quietly. Not like his uncle had been, branded a coward by his death, or the Purifiers who’d been killed or arrested by the Ministry and the Order. Those were complicated emotions too. Cas had worked against the Purifiers for years, in complete and utter secrecy, but they were still his peers. People he’d known and grown up with, ultimately. Cas hadn’t gone to Hogwarts when the call had gone out to Order members – showing his face there would’ve done more damage than good. It would’ve betrayed his true loyalties to the purebloods who’d recognize him, and there might’ve even been Order members who would’ve made the wrong assumption. But he imagined the trauma of that ordeal would stay with people forever. “It seems like so long ago, but the effects still haven't faded away,” Cas observed, shaking his head a little. The pureblood community, at least, was still feeling the aftershocks. The families hadn’t finished tearing into each other yet to determine the new power structure.

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

April 15, 2029

Cas assured her that Shreya's memory would live on. "She'll be remembered right," he said, "for the hero she was."

Parvati smiled a little at that, in the same way that she had when she had first made eye contact with him upon entering the pub. She had never wanted her children to have to grow up to be heroes, but if she had to lose a child, she was glad that she would be remembered for her bravery. It meant that she had done something right as a parent, despite the many times she had felt like she had failed as a mother.

"It seems like so long ago, but the effects still haven't faded away."

"They never do, really," Parvati told him with a surer voice. She didn't want to be the bearer of bad news, but the effects never would fade. They would always be there. What had happened because of Elaine Dupree and the Purifiers or Lord Voldemort and the Death Eaters couldn't be undone. There would always be losses that those who had survived would continue to mourn and versions of the future that would never occur, simply because they couldn't. "I'm alright, though, these days," she promised, and she really hoped that she looked it. She had had time to process the past few years. "I went to India a year after it happened. It felt like something I needed to do for myself, you know? To accept Shreya's death. And not living at Hogwarts has been good for me, I think." She liked having more of a separation between her personal life and her work. "It's a beautiful campus. It really is, but I don't know that I could live there again."

Casimir Elias Karkaroff

[Casimir Elias Karkaroff]

Parvati did have a point – the scars that the Purifiers had left would always stay behind and be present in magical society. As time went by, new stories caught the public’s attention and people forgot about the tragedies in their day-to-day lives. But you could always count on a memory to resurface at the worst and most painful times, and of course…everybody had needed to adjust to the new reality. There was no going back to an ideal after a scene like the Hogwarts fire, no way to flip the Time-Turner and just start again. Cas couldn’t say he’d gone unchanged after everything he had seen and done in the Order, and all the adjustments he’d had to make afterwards.

“I’m glad to hear that,” he said, and the sincerity of the words caught him by surprise. But he’d always valued his strange friendship with Parvati, and the stabilizing influence she’d had on him. It was an unexpected byproduct of their partnership, but he’d come to view her as a friend. One of his only genuine friends, really. “Everybody needed some distance,” he nodded as she mentioned India, “I did some traveling, too. A callback to my cursebreaker days, I suppose.” In hindsight, Cas wondered if he’d just been looking for that thrill again as he visited so many of the places he’d once visited for Gringotts. He'd gone all over the Middle East and Asia, shaking off the monotone grey of the United Kingdom as he calculated the correct moves for his family and what to do with his life now. “Not being around the kids must be relaxing,” he noted dryly. Archie had reached out to him about his cursebreaking classes, and Cas had been loaning him his artifacts expertise to train the next generation. It only reaffirmed once again, after handling trainees and rookies in the old days, that Cas was a grumpy teacher.

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

April 15, 2029

Even though Cas hadn't said outright that he was doing well, he seemed to be. He told her that he was glad to hear that she was alright and said that everyone had needed some distance. That was what she had assumed at first about Surya's leaving, too, Parvati thought, not that she wanted to try to have that conversation with Cas in public. He probably didn't know anything about it, and it wasn't something that she wanted the whole of the Leaky Cauldron to know, either.

"I did some traveling, too," Cas added, though he didn't specify where he had gone. "A callback to my Curse-Breaker days, I suppose."

Instead of expanding upon his travels, however, Cas went on to state, "Not being around the kids must be relaxing."

"A bit," Parvati agreed with a nod. Maybe she would have felt differently about it if she were teaching, but it wasn't too bad most of the time. "The fifth-years at MAGIC, the students in their OWL year, are"—Parvati had to pause for a moment to think of the right word to use—"misbehaved. I'll put it that way." More accurately, some of those kids probably put Peeves the poltergeist to shame. She was fairly certain that some of the students in that year had been in detention or the Hospital Wing more than they had been in their lessons, but there was always one year group that stood out for some reason. Parvati supposed her year at Hogwarts had been the same way and laughed a little to herself.

Casimir Elias Karkaroff

[Casimir Elias Karkaroff]

It was one of the usual characteristics of their conversations – because of the sensitivity that came with being seen together, Cas and Parvati had mastered the art of saying a lot with actually very few words. He remembered the deep grief she’d settled into after Shreya’s death, and he could see signs of the struggle she’d gone through even as she didn’t dive too deep into explaining them. And on his part? Cas had done what he’d needed to so he could keep the Karkaroff name out of the papers while the entire pureblood community reeled from the shock of the Purifiers’ defeat. And he’d taken the distance he’d needed to reevaluate what the weeks and months and years after should look like. He didn’t need to explain all that to her – she seemed to have gotten some hint of it and didn’t ask any further questions.

Instead they started to discuss Hogwarts, and Cas shook his head slightly at the strangeness of accepting Archie’s request and offering some lessons on artifacts. He’d had a rather different experience at Durmstrang, and the professors had been much tougher on the students (one might even say cruel, but that was a word that implied weakness on the receiving end, and Cas would never call himself weak). There’d certainly never been a counselor to speak with, and on behalf of, the students. “I’ll keep an eye out,” Cas said dryly, avoiding the urge to consider how an unruly student would have been punished at Durmstrang. But his words prompted another strange thought – if Archie asked, would he really come back next year to continue advising the new NEWT students? He was inclined to think not, but the natural inclination to assume there’d be a next year was another strange new development.

It only occurred to him now that he had a legitimate reason to spend more time around the new Hogwarts campus. Of course, there’d always be wizards and witches that were suspicious of purebloods and their intentions, especially one who spent so much time in Knockturn Alley like Cas did. But either way, it all boiled down to the same conclusion. If he had a reason to visit Hogwarts, it wouldn’t be so strange to have occasional conversations with Parvati. Here and there, nothing too extreme of course. “I visit Hogwarts sometimes,” Cas finally said, “whenever Archie brings in cursebreakers to offer their expertise. I might find a few minutes to stop by your office.” He left it at that, shrugged a little as he took another sip of his drink. Truthfully, he missed talking with Parvati. And it’d been long enough that he felt they didn’t know each other so well anymore – at least, not these new versions of themselves that they’d become.

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

April 15, 2029

Cas replied that he would keep an eye out for the misbehaving fifth-years, though Parvati knew that he probably didn't have much reason to in reality. Unless some of those kids found themselves in Knockturn Alley to look for something for a prank—which Parvati hoped they wouldn't, because that was all Hogwarts needed—then he wasn't very likely to run into any of them.

Or that was, at least, what Parvati had assumed. Cas brought up that he visited Hogwarts "sometimes". The revelation took Parvati by surprise, since she hadn't seen him there or heard that he was there. Then again, only the other Order members would have known that they knew each other. There was a reason for Cas's being there, and it also cleared up why Parvati hadn't realized it despite being part of the High Council; Archie Vector had had him as a guest lecturer or something in Curse-Breaking.

"I might find a few minutes to stop by your office," Cas informed her.

Parvati didn't have a problem with that, and she was glad that Cas had been the one to bring it up. "It's in the MAGIC building," she answered him. "Archie can show you where it is."

Casimir Elias Karkaroff

[Casimir Elias Karkaroff]

Cas had never liked change, but he’d been forcefully subjected to it so many times over his life. When his father had been arrested in the wider sweep for Death Eaters and their supporters, when he’d had to quit cursebreaking to take up new family responsibilities, when he’d had to carefully navigate this new post-Purifier world and what it would mean for him and his siblings. He liked to study the past if only because it proved to be much more stable, easily controlled to suit his whims. Things had started to settle down again, and the British magical community hadn’t been rocked by any major scandals for some time. But speaking with Parvati only served to dredge up the past and remind him of all the things that had changed. All the things that had been lost.

He nodded at Parvati to show that he’d understood her instructions, and considered that maybe in her office they’d have a chance to talk more freely. Most professors had extra enchantments to prevent eavesdroppers, thieves, or pranksters from having free rein over their offices. He and Archie had needed to carefully discuss how to carefully modify certain protective enchantments to allow dangerous artifacts to operate freely, so that cursebreaker students would be able to practice disarming the actual curses instead of weaker placeholders. “Are you in touch with anyone else?” he asked carefully, keeping the question vague. He’d kept a careful distance from most former Order members (besides the purebloods, of course) but Parvati had more reasons to stay in open contact. The question was bordering on reminiscence, but Cas thought he could indulge himself for a moment. After one of them left, the likelihood was that he wouldn’t speak about these things out-loud for a long time again.

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

April 15, 2029

Parvati understood Cas's desire not to speak of the Order itself, though he remained more candid than she expected him to be. He asked her if she was in touch with anyone else, to which she nodded. "I am," she replied. It helped that the Order's membership overlapped with a lot of people she knew regardless, and many of the others were people to whom it wouldn't be difficult for the general public to connect her via, say, Dumbledore's Army, Witch Weekly, or Hogwarts. "I could make some introductions for you, if you'd like," Parvati continued.

Though she was making an effort to obscure what they were discussing, she wanted to give Cas more of an opportunity to engage with the other former members of the Order in a way that would be safer for him. Parvati knew that she was fortunate that she hadn't had to hide her involvement in the Order from nearly everyone in her life. It was still hush-hush outside of certain spaces; that was just how it was, but it was nowhere near as isolating for her as she imagined it must have been for him.

Casimir Elias Karkaroff

[Casimir Elias Karkaroff]

There were only a few former Order members that Cas had stayed in touch with over the years, and there were usually very specific reasons for it. Besides his sister, the other members he’d worked regularly with had some sort of contact with him in their daily life – and so of course, those business relationships continued in some way or another. He did still occasionally talk to Harry as well, although that channel was much more limited and Cas was reluctant to do so too often and risk the chance of being caught. He saw Claire, of course, although they were apparently incapable of having a conversation without it turning into a spat (or more, but he carefully avoided that topic even in his own mind). “It…might’ve been long enough,” Cas said, acknowledging that there might be some value in trying to reach out again. He’d considered it for a long time, although this random encounter with Parvati hadn’t been planned (unlike everything else in his life).

He tapped his fingers on the table and considered the notion. It was difficult to explain that he’d always been alone by choice, since only other purebloods could really understand it. Isolation was the surest way to stay safe, really, especially with the risky choices Cas had made in the past. But relationships were the lifeblood of his business, since he relied on old contacts and word-of-mouth to establish his reputation and keep sales coming. So his life was a careful balance of contradictions, as always. Cas polished off his drink and set the glass back on the table. “I suppose I should be grateful for the quiet,” he said, picking up his thought from earlier. There really hadn’t been too many disruptions in Britain since the fall of the Purifiers. “But…it’s unsettling.” He shrugged a little at the thought. Maybe he was just used to the thought that quiet didn’t signal peace. Just a sign that you couldn’t see whatever was happening under the surface.

parvati patil macmillan