Loud and clear [Fae]

[Aidan Evander Ó Cuinn]

3 February 2029

Aidan hated fighting. It’d always been his habit to flinch away from raised voices, or flee into the escapism of the Wildwood whenever it looked like someone was about to start a fight in the family tree. It was one of many reasons he’d always avoided druid town halls. They were boring, for the most part, with different members of the community complaining about issues only they cared about or long-winded descriptions of how they attempted to navigate the bureaucracy of Hy-Brasil’s and its many, many traditions. But every now and then, someone would start shouting and it would devolve into a free-for-all (where everybody would suddenly develop an opinion and the burning need to tell everyone else about it).

He was quite good at making excuses to skip town halls, and his parents usually let him get away with it. That had been especially true for all the years Aidan had spent on the mainland, since he’d found a natural excuse for why he couldn’t go home every time one of these meetings got scheduled. But lately his great-grandmother had been terribly insistent about full family attendance. Abria Ó Cuinn had retired ages ago, but made a dramatic comeback to the Council last summer along with quite a few elders from her generation. She was solidly traditional and deeply distrustful of outsiders and their customs. It’d caused a scandal, years and years ago, when his grandpa had married a mainlander who’d converted to the druid way of life. When his grandma had disappeared, some people said she’d simply gone back home. Others said Abria had taken care of her son’s ‘problem.’ Ever since then, she’d been suspicious of anything that came from outside and threatened their way of life. Aidan had been painfully careful to only share certain parts of his time abroad with her and constantly reassure the family that he’d come home soon. His insides wriggled with guilt, but this town hall…it really only proved him right.

Aidan had been terribly late and found a place to skulk on the edges of the massive meadow they used as a gathering space. By the time he’d stepped out of the tree line and into the light, the shouting had already started and he winced every few moments at the constant stream of complaints. Town halls were supposed to be an opportunity for the community, the Council, and the High Druid to all speak with each other. But an argument had long since devolved into a shouting match between members of the Council about all the problems the island faced from their tenuous relationship with the mainland – which everybody knew Fae was in charge of. Aidan tuned it all out and stared out into the near-darkness at a bowtruckle tree to watch them build a nest for ages until he noticed people rising from logs or blankets they’d tossed over the grass.

Once he was sure the meeting had ended, he began to slowly push his way to the center, gently nudging people aside and sidestepping all sorts of random animals as druids used their Animagus forms to more quickly escape the crowd. He gingerly stepped over a hare and finally caught sight of Fae, sandwiched between two angry druids that apparently hadn’t unloaded all their complaints yet. He sidled up to them and cleared his throat. “I need Fae’s help,” he said, interrupting one of the Council members in the middle of a particularly heated rant. “One of the griffins is all freaked out,” he clarified a moment later. The lie seemed kind of flimsy to him, but most people never seemed to notice whether he’d been present or not and Aidan had a reputation (even among druids) for being nuts about magical creatures. So neither druid said anything while they watched with narrowed eyes as he pulled on Fae’s sleeve and wound his way out of the gathering space.

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[Italics = Brasilic]

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The town halls were starting to become cumbersome and repetitive. Fae had lost the backing of the majority of the druid elders over the last few months, their belief systems coming into constant contention with one another. In their words, they had ‘give her a chance’ to bring things under control between Hy-Brasil and the mainland. They didn’t seem to understand that what the mainland did was never a directive caused by her actions; it was from the way they clutched their acorn necklaces and looked down on now generally accepted practices of their modernized counterparts. Hy-Brasil was so far behind in the world because of their chosen seclusion. How they couldn’t see that frustrated her so much. There was a reason she was chosen as the High Druid, and not any of them. Someone young to lead the island towards unprecedented times seemed like the most obvious direction that they needed to take, and yet the elders pretended that wasn’t the case.

Exhausted was the only way she could truly describe herself currently. Her hair had become perpetually drab, a dull grey that only gained its spark back whenever she left the island. She had started to field concerns from her parents about the building stress this was causing, but she merely waved off everything. This was clearly a test of her position as High Druid. All she had to do was merely last until the other members on the Council were changed again, and outlive all of their sycophants, and all would be well. But it was extremely clear that things were not going well on the island. The final discussion – which was a horrible word to use for the almost always one-sided arguments brought up by her supposed equals – was about cutting the importing of butterbeer to the island. A petty jab at Fae’s own personal tastes, if nothing else. Her counterpoint was that becoming to secluded again and removing ties with mainland traders would lead to them doing the same with their own goods. She was positive that the Wormwood family would not want to lose their business contacts on the other side.

And then it abruptly ended, and half of the council disappeared in the blink of an eye in their animagus forms. As if to flaunt what she lacked. To them, she was the unlucky one. A High Druid born in the wrong month and who was relaxed on traditions. If it didn’t go against every moral code of their people, she would have feared being overthrown. Instead, they were doing their best to wall her in and prevent her from doing her job.

From across the field, Fae caught the sympathetic smiles of her parents before they disappeared into the woods, headed back home. She needed time to think about everything that had happened during today’s meeting. And then once she had her thoughts organized again, it was back to the mainland and the Ministry to try and negotiate the more important bits that the Council wanted. Assuming she agreed with them. She barely had time to think about this though, as two locals got in her way and started to complain again. Something about an Auror that accidentally trampled a singular flower that had been planted three springs prior. Even though she was listening, she had started to lean heavily onto Merlin’s staff, her only support in all of this currently. A dead warlock’s magic stick was more of a friend to her now than the majority of her brethren. How silly was that?

She blinked back to reality as she heard her name spoken and saw that Aidan had appeared before her small group. He was asking for her assistance with the griffins. ”If you’ll excuse me,” she said to the two men, who scoffed at her escape. The herd had been fine this morning when she checked on them, so she was curious to hear what had developed since then. Upon her ascension to High Druid, she had to re-delegate her old job as island tour guide. She did not give up her care of the griffins though. Members of the Cloudbreakers had always worked with the herd.

Allowing Aidan to lead her away from her dissenters, her concern only grew slightly. They were smart creatures and were usually fine on their own in most situations. ”Is everything fine?” Fae decided to ask first, as a way to gauge the seriousness of the situation.

Aidan Evander Ó Cuinn ● 744

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[Aidan Evander Ó Cuinn]

Sometimes it was hard to see how much had changed until he was suddenly confronted by it all at once. For starters, Aidan gave a little jolt of shock as he glanced at Fae while they wound their way out of the crowd of lingering druids who hadn’t left yet. He hadn’t even realized how long it’d been since their last conversation until the light threw the dark shadows under her eyes into stark relief and painted her hair in a muted gray color. It hadn’t been that long since his last visit to Hy-Brasil, but he supposed after a moment of reflection that he truly hadn’t seen Fae in ages. And she looked pale and exhausted, even worse than those first few weeks after the fall of the barrier.

He'd changed since then too, although that was harder to notice than Fae’s spontaneous hair color changes. Aidan would’ve never dreamed of leaving Hy-Brasil to live on the mainland, or staying past his apprenticeship to work as a full-fledged vet, or dating a non-druid. And yet here they were. Aidan let go of Fae’s sleeve after a moment, once the two druids left the meadow and watched it fade into the distance behind them. He wouldn’t have grabbed her princess dress at all, since he’d long since given up on cleaning out the dirt from under his fingernails, but he honestly hadn’t been sure whether the others would’ve let Fae go without Aidan being insistent. His feet found a path naturally as they walked. The moon was still mostly full and there was enough moonlight to see Fae somewhat clearly, even though all the color seemed to drain out around them to be replaced by silver.

After several moments of walking in silence, Aidan was torn out of his silent observations of the Wildwood by Fae’s question. He laughed sheepishly as he admitted, “Oh, everything's fine. I lied.” Aidan generally tried to be honest, but he didn’t mind lying when it suited him. And just like when his ma demanded to know who’d finished the last of the cider, lying suited him in this case. Call it a rescue mission, or just a way to end the arguments. “Adair O’Cleary is the worst,” Aidan declared, shaking his head at the thought of one of the druids who’d been lecturing Fae. “He used to yell at me for not paying attention in class.” His old teacher had been one of the many reasons Aidan had hated classes, even the druid version of it. Aidan idly reached for his pocket and grabbed a handful of sunflower seeds – one of the many habits he’d picked up from spending most of his time around animals. He cracked one open, tossed it into his mouth, and snuck a glance at Fae. It was hard to read her expression in the moonlight. “Are you okay?”

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Being led around by others was basically how the last few months had gone for her. There had been very little room for her own thoughts and conversations these days, outside of with a select few people. Her parents were busy with their own work, and as much as she wished she could curl up into a ball in her old room and forget about being the High Druid for a moment, she literally couldn’t. Then there was James, of course, and finding opportunities to meet up with him had become even slimmer as well. Even utilizing her metamorphmagus abilities had become difficult, as her security had recently changed, and they were now following the directions of the Council more than her previous guards had. At least she knew those ones were still on her side, and just being held back on the island for the time being.

But she let Aidan lead her away from the meeting, and all she could think about was what sort of mess the griffins had gotten themselves into this time. Usually it came down to hierarchy issues, and they’d aggressively pluck the feathers out of any that they deemed ‘inadequate’ as their leader. Which was sort of how she currently felt. Ironically enough, her hair color absolutely matched that of some of the speckled gray griffins. At least they stopped once they had selected a new leader. Eating themselves alive like the current Council was trying to do to her was far more animalistic in her opinion.

Fae blinked a few times as her confused brain processed what Aidan was saying. He lied? ”The griffins are fine then?” she asked, trying to clarify what he meant. While she did agree that Adair O’Cleary had always been of the stern sort, she could never call another druid bad. Unless they broke the laws and were kicked off the island. Being needlessly aggressive in his campaign against her though? That she could definitely get behind. ”Yes, well, I don’t think I should have expected anything less from him then…” Fae sighed. Adair had been like that for as long as she could remember, and always been a bit outspoken about her being High Druid. She always assumed that he disliked the way she approached combining druid education with that of the mainland and decided to take it out on her. Never mind the fact that a lot of the children looked forward to their time going to Hogwarts for exams. He must have had a particularly bad experience there himself.

”Honestly? No,” she admitted. Another long, drawn-out sigh escaped her. That had been happening a lot. The worst ones were when she had just woken up and hadn’t even gotten out of bed yet. ”I can’t figure out what all of this means. What my purpose in all of this is supposed to be. The Council was chosen this way for a reason, but so was I. And we are very clearly at a head right now.”

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[Aidan Evander Ó Cuinn]

Aidan took a moment to dreamily consider the griffin herd – the Cloudbreakers were their official caretakers, but Fae’s parents occasionally let him study the griffins and spend time with them. They occasionally got into fights, and once or twice Aidan had loaned out his best healing paste whenever one of the younger griffins got tangled up in poison ivy. The herd was one of his favorite parts of visiting Hy-Brasil, and occasionally a convenient excuse for getting out of chores. “Happy and healthy,” he reported with confidence, chewing on another sunflower seed as they walked along the path.

Unlike the griffin herd, though, Fae didn’t look either happy or healthy. His eyes lingered on her with concern, and Aidan found himself grappling with a sense of uselessness he didn’t know what to do with. Something was wrong. Clearly. But he was a little out of his depth here. He knew his animal friends at the reserve very well, and it wasn’t much of a chore to diagnose them. Sometimes they needed medicine, but a good part of their treatment was psychological – playing with them, lathering them with attention, just spending time quietly together. He was less certain what to do with Fae. She wasn’t exactly a porlock or niffler, and offering her some seeds felt like the wrong approach to take.

“The ancestors work in mysterious ways,” Aidan offered, rubbing his neck self-consciously at being unable to give a better piece of insight. His da said that a lot, always taking a laidback approach to whatever problem seemed to be confronting the family or the farm. Maybe he meant it to be metaphorical – like saying that life just happened – but every druid knew that the previous generations were a real and solid presence on the island. They were felt most strongly in January, when the druids observed all of their most somber traditions, but really they touched every aspect of their lives. Aidan tilted his head, like he might do as a dog, and deeply considered the problem. He steadily worked through the fistful of the seeds as he did, leaving the empty shells in a trail behind them.

Fae’s sigh was long and weary, and Aidan briefly glanced at her before craning his head up to look at how the rays of moonlight broke through the canopy. “It’s too bad they can’t see what we see,” he continued, his imagination having already pulled him out of his earlier deep concentration. He knew Fae was mostly based on Hy-Brasil, but she visited the mainland a good bit. And Aidan, despite being a good boy that (mostly) did as his family said, still hadn’t come back to Hy-Brasil. He’d chosen to stay longer on the mainland, for reasons that were beyond his ability to articulate. But it meant that he’d gotten the chance to love the mainland for himself, instead of whatever he’d imagined it to be while growing up. He shrugged and put his hands into his pockets. A question occurred to him, and he glanced at Fae inquisitively. “Are things as bad as they say?” he asked, a little self-conscious that he hadn’t been around lately to judge for himself. But as he looked around the peace and quiet of the Wildwood, he didn’t see whatever fears and dangers clearly plagued the minds of the Council.

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Having the sudden headache of checking in on the griffins disappear in an instant made her head spin slightly. She was currently prone to what she had dubbed ‘flash anxiety’. Fae had little to no idea what the actual muggle term for it was, but at her heightened state these last few months, she had become incredibly vulnerable to bursts of anxiousness over the tiniest details. Every single thing that was added onto the mental pile of things to deal with brought her further and further down. That was why she had completely lost her luster. The unfortunate part about all of it was that she was stuck doing this for the rest of her life. There was no way for a High Druid to take a sick day, as the mainlanders called it, or move on to other things. This was her burden to carry, and as of right now, it felt like it was hers alone.

Fae didn’t like to scoff. It was unbecoming of her. Especially concerning the ancestors. She had been chosen as their representative after all. And yet here she was, at a loss on what they expected from her. The prevailing theory she had come to was that they were letting her walk her own path. A very noble concept for them to bestow upon her. Fae knew she was going to have to learn and grow on her own at some point or another as the High Druid. The only problem was that she thought that was what she had been doing all this time. One hurdle after another had been thrown her way over the last decade. Having read the logs kept by her predecessors of their own experiences during their formative years, she certainly was leading an exciting life by most of their standards. Luckily, she hadn’t encountered any crop failures or plagues, as most of those were easily thwarted by potions and magic now. Loss of the barrier (which hadn’t always existed) and the large portion of the island’s magical creatures though? That was one for the ages.

Keeping her mouth shut tightly, as she always did when it concerned the ancestors, Fae forced her frustration towards them into another deep sigh. The real problem was the Council. Aidan was right. They didn’t truly understand what was best for Hy-Brasil. They were stuck in the old ways, afraid to leave the island and see the world that existed out there. Fae could testify to it herself: everything off the island was absolutely terrifying and overwhelming. But being afraid of the unknown was just as bad too.

”I encourage you to stay through the next meeting, if you really want an answer to that.” She didn’t mean to be so abrupt with him, but anyone could see how it was just from looking at her. Tensions were unbelievably high, and it felt like she was battling for the sake of Hy-Brasil’s future. The sad reality was she could do whatever she wanted at the end of the day. Ruling with an iron fist was not who she was as a druid, nor as a person. The Council seemed to understand that, and that was exactly why they were at odds with one another currently.

”Do you enjoy the mainland? Could you live here, on the island, for the rest of your life knowing what you now know, blissfully ignorant of the rest of the world?” Fae asked abruptly. ”Because I can’t. Not anymore. We have such a grander purpose in the world of magic, and they would rather we hide from it all and keep what we have to ourselves. They use fear and fallacies to control the opinions of those that have never left the island and don’t know any better. I understand their worries more than anyone else…but they are missing out on so much! Being scared of the unknown can be healthy, I think. But not to the degree that the mainland is being persecuted right now.” Fae had stopped walking as the words fell out of her mouth. Everything she had been bottling up through the forum, and even the past few months, spilling at the same time. Too concentrated on her small speech to Aidan, she didn’t see the flash of red vibrate through her hair, before turning back to the same dullness it had before. ”I’m sorry…I’ve been trying to keep composed in front of the others, but I have a limit too.”

Aidan Evander Ó Cuinn ● 748

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[Aidan Evander Ó Cuinn]

Aidan tried to keep a blank face as Fae suggested he attend the next meeting, but he quickly wrinkled his nose and looked away. “Ummmm…maybe.” It seemed rude to say he’d rather watch the bowtruckles build a nest, but Aidan found these town halls to be deathly boring. He’d rather get the TL;DR version from whichever family member had actually been paying attention. But then again, Aidan wasn’t exactly the intended audience for these sorts of things. He didn’t find community-wide announcements very interesting, unless maybe it was the Oakstrong family announcing free cheese samples. He could get behind that. Fae’s abrupt outburst pulled him out of his cheesy-focused thoughts, though, and Aidan snuck a glance at her as she gripped her staff tightly and fumed about the blindness of the Council.

“Maybe they’re afraid of losing themselves,” Aidan said quietly, kicking a pebble down along the path as they walked. Two steps, kick, and again and again until the pebble skipped off into the dark tree line and Aidan lost sight of it. For better or for worse, the druids kept their history alive and were constantly immersed in it. There was no such thing as forgetting the past – the ancestors were real, and their advice and warnings lived on throughout the generations. The druids had never forgotten the Romans. Whatever they’d been before, whatever old ways of life had once kept them tethered to the people they’d lived near – there were just too few druids left in the world, and surviving the enemies that’d tried to wipe them out had forced them to hide away in a closed island and restrictive culture for centuries. It was the same caution that still stayed lodged in the back of Aidan’s mind, even after spending years on the mainland. His flat was like walking into a little outpost of Hy-Brasil – if only because Aidan was deathly afraid of waking up one day and seeing no difference between himself and the mainlanders. Of losing whatever thin thread tied him to his family, and to other druids across space and time.

He never wanted to stop feeling the magic that constantly flowed in and around him…so maybe he understood the Elders a little bit. Even if their fear had driven them to dangerous and paranoid thoughts, seeing enemies everywhere they looked. In that sense, Fae did have a point. Their fears were supported by a good chunk of history (because seriously, druids had apparently been very unpopular) but not to this extent. It didn’t match what they’d seen from the mainland in the last few years (which apparently had other problems to worry about anyway, although Aidan was as uninformed about that as he was about most things). He nodded at Fae, if only to show that he at least heard her. She didn’t seem too used to that, at least from other druids. “The griffins are better listeners than most people,” he observed. He didn’t have much experience with maintaining a mask in front of others – Aidan had simply never needed to – but he often told secrets or gut-twisting truths to the magical creatures of Hy-Brasil. It was better than keeping it all bottled inside (and honestly, a lot easier than telling his family). His expression was open (for sure more so than when he’d dodged the issue of attending another town hall) as he continued. “I’m…sorry. That you have to carry this alone…”

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Fae knew that the island meetings weren’t meant for everyone. Her parents only made it to every other one, and she encouraged them to stay away from most for their own sake. They were easy going people, and she was sure that seeing their daughter get beat down over and over again by the island elders would leave a lasting impact on them. It was for their own good to stay ignorant to the majority of what she went through. With Aidan’s hesitance, Fae sighed. ”It’s okay if you don’t want to. It can be difficult to watch those you know and care about arguing with one another,” Especially when it was all directed at her. She seriously doubted that the members of the Council and their compatriots understood the effect they were having on her as of late.

Losing themselves? Fae stared at him while trying to understand what he meant by that. Nothing about advancing the island meant that they as individuals had to change. She was all for retaining their customs and heritage, that had never been in question. All she wanted was the ability to allow their people to feel free to come and go as they pleased, and to understand that there is a world out there beyond Hy-Brasil. ”I think that’s a poor excuse, unfortunately,” she said after a moment’s pause. ”But I understand where you are coming from.” It sort of made a little sense to her now that she processed it longer. She certainly wouldn’t have understood parts of herself without having the mainland to go to. The things she had seen and the people she had met…how could she not become a better person after all of that? The dissenters were missing out.

She gave Aidan a weak smile as he said that the griffins were good listeners. He was absolutely right about that. The herd had listened to her problems for most of her life, even before she was named High Druid. She often wished that the other animals on the island were like that with her as well, and while they liked being around her, they didn’t have the same connection that she held with the griffins. Taking care of them had its perks after all. ”Thank you. I know there are others that feel the way I do. I’m sure I’ll figure out something eventually. It’s not like I’m going anywhere.”

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[Aidan Evander Ó Cuinn]

As usual, Aidan seemed to be projecting his innermost thoughts to anyone who could glance at his face and see what he was thinking. He didn’t know what expression he’d made, but Fae seemed to have guessed what he really thought of town halls. Her answer was understanding, definitely more gentle than he would’ve gotten from some members of the Council, and Aidan gave a carefree shrug. He couldn’t quite find it in himself to be embarrassed. After all, there was no thing that existed that could please everyone. Ashwinders were deathly afraid of water, but grindylows thrived in it. What worked for one could kill the other, and so it was with people too. Some people seemed to feed off attention and giving public speeches (or rants) in these island meetings. Aidan, meanwhile, would rather dig himself into a hole and wait to die. Different tastes.

He did feel a little more self-conscious about Fae seemingly not understanding whatever fear kept him slightly apart from the mainlanders, and other druids from leaving the island altogether. “It probably is,” Aidan said as he cracked open another sunflower seed and let the empty shells trail behind him. Fae was a lot smarter than him, so it didn’t surprise him that she’d know a lot more than he did (and understand a lot more of what she saw too). “But it’s just what people feel. It’s easy to be yourself when people let you. What happens when they stop letting you?” He might’ve spent some years on the mainland, but some things would never leave Aidan. He’d always feel a little shiver of distaste for people in Ministry robes and dead eyes. And he’d never be brave enough to venture into areas that were known for being infested with vampires or hags. And above all – he didn’t know what he’d do if someone tried to change him. Stop him from wandering in public with his staff, or forbidding certain kinds of magic for being too wild or archaic, or banning certain rituals that made others uncomfortable. He just didn’t know what he’d do.

He kicked at another rock, but missed and dug a little groove into the dirt. But Aidan barely missed a beat and did his best to keep up with Fae. They seemed to have stumbled onto a subject she was passionate about, because her face was more animated than it’d been in the clearing and her pace had picked up (like she was dragging her feet less). Whatever feelings of outrage or disbelief she had about the Council, her beliefs about what her leadership could be like clearly fueled her. “Depends where you’re standing,” Aidan said with a grin as Fae talked about not going anywhere, “You don’t feel like you’re moving on a boat, but you’re still going somewhere.” He laughed at himself for that one and stuffed the remaining seeds in his pocket. Wouldn’t do to steal all the snacks and leave nothing for his next random encounter with one of Hy-Brasil’s many magical creatures.

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Was that how it was supposed to be? Fae hadn’t felt ‘herself’ in years now, except when she left the island and the baggage of being the High Druid behind her. If there was any one particular person out there that wasn’t allowed to be genuine, it was, to some degree, her. She could tell her hair had started to darken once again as she mulled this over a few times in her head. This was part of the core problem with the druids. They had become so insular that any attempt to allow freedom of thoughts other than their own was met by rejection of the older crowd. It didn’t matter how many meetings they held to try and convince her otherwise; it simply wasn’t going to change her mind at this point. The war of lifespans was easily won out by her, unless they preferred going an alternate route and ending up banished from the island for killing her to force change. A dark thought for sure, Fae didn’t believe such a thing would actually happen though. They were too weak-willed to do anything but stall and argue with her as if their very own essence as druids depended on it.

”You become me,” Fae answered after a moment’s pause. ”Whether I like it or not, I’m stuck here forever. All I can do is try to make it the best home for us while still upholding our values.” She knew from her own research of Hy-Brasil’s history that this wasn’t the first time there had been discord between the High Druid and the Council. It was almost expected; a way to balance out life on the island. The druids of present were far less conservative than their ancestors were as well. They allowed mainlanders to move here as long as they abided by their laws and did small amounts of trade instead of being completely closed off. Merlin, they even sent students to Hogwarts for exams (though that was starting to be put up to debate once again)!

Aidan’s comment about being on a boat and still moving was a fascinating one. While she would have loved to live a life where she allowed the current to take her wherever it pleased, something so idealistic was not possible for her anymore. At least not to the same degree that others were able to. She wasn’t physically trapped yet was still restrained by her needing to be on Hy-Brasil most of the time. ”And sometimes I wish I could get off that boat and swim wherever I wanted to,” Fae sighed. ”But I guess your point still stands then, right? I’m still going somewhere…” There was a big difference in letting herself be pulled in a direction and doing it herself though. Fae wasn’t sure what her current state was. What it did feel like to her though, was like she was being yanked in every direction all at once and not being able to move an inch without upsetting the balance. It was an amazing feeling to wake up to and drag around on her back day in and day out.

Aidan Evander Ó Cuinn ● 524

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[Aidan Evander Ó Cuinn]

Aidan sucked in a breath at Fae’s answer to his question. He hadn’t really been expecting her to take him seriously and answer, since he’d more or less thrown out the question as a rhetorical one. He’d asked himself plenty of times whether the mainland was changing him, and lately he’d wondered if that was such a bad thing once it’d became clear that the answer was yes. He’d been born and raised to maintain the status quo. Do as his ancestors had done before him, and then pass the baton along. His family had wanted him to grow up a little – go out to the mainland for a year or two, see what the real world was really like, and then come home to enjoy the comfortable life the rest of them had settled into. He’d stayed much longer than expected, and felt that decision change him in ways he couldn’t really verbalize, but there was always some part of him that expected to come home someday and continue where he’d left off.

So the words ‘stuck here forever’ caused a strange dissonance in his head, like landing too hard after flying through the clouds and trying to dizzily find his balance again. He’d never thought of being High Druid as being stuck, and definitely never staying on Hy-Brasil as a bad thing (weren’t there plenty of druids who had never left the island and were perfectly happy?). It felt wrong to hear that from Fae, and he silently pondered why she viewed it as a burden as they walked along the path. He could feel that the conversation had turned more serious, taking a turn away from the lighthearted tone of earlier. A little frown pulled at his lips and his forehead creased in concentration as he tried to sort out his thoughts. “It’s been quiet for a really long time. Every generation faced the same thing. Little things. I don’t know if we were always like this, but it’s what we remember.” It wasn’t really an answer to what Fae had said, but Aidan felt like he was grappling with this huge concept, hard to understand and just out of reach. He needed a little time to get there.

“I’m sorry you feel stuck,” Aidan said, really and truly meaning it. Even if he’d never felt it himself, he approached the subject the same way he approached everything – open, honest, genuinely himself. It was the only thing he could ever really be. He liked the boat metaphor, and decided to keep it going. “But the current that’s pushing you, it’s not the Elders. It’s…this.” He brought his arms up to gesture at everything, like he was taking in the whole world at once. Quiet and still around them, but hiding deadly storms and threats from the shadows. “What’s happening to us. The barrier. The mainland. The Dark creatures. If they’re pushing us somewhere dangerous, then you have to guide us. We can’t choose where the wind pulls us. But you decide whether we go up, or down, or through, or around. You’re the High Druid, so you can’t swim by yourself…but you can pull us with you. If you decide that’s what the island needs.” He paused for a moment, let himself rub the back of his neck anxiously at the thought of going somewhere unexplored and dangerous. But he at least knew what he’d choose to do. “We’d follow. I'd follow.”

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