Elvis Impersonators [Rhys]

[rhys alexander greyback]

we signal in a moonbeam

i beg you to follow me

January 13, 2029
juniper minerva mcgonagall

Rhys suspected had it not been for the ample amount of whiskey he’d consumed the night before, his sudden jolt awake would have been far more dramatic. Sometimes, he would recall, with some shame, the times it had been particularly bad. The haze after Saffron’s death caused such shifts to feel like a tidal wave out of nowhere. Nightmares full of not only his father’s face but that of his late best friend. But never enough to piece together a story or the truth of what happened that day. His chest felt tight, and invisible fingers seemed to tighten around his throat.

At least Juni was still asleep, or perhaps everything she drank kept her from feeling his tossing and turning. In all their years together she had learned to help him. It had never been a point of contention like his drinking or overworking. Much like he couldn’t change what happened at the full moon, it was just something to exist with. Rhys only thanked Merlin that he’d never physically hurt Juni on accident during one of these incidents, whether nightmare or PTSD related. That’s what the Healers had told him at one point after the accident with Saffron. PTSD was not uncommon in older cursebreakers, although far more common in Aurors and others in high-stakes law enforcement fields.

His hair felt damp from sweat, and overall Rhys felt like he wanted to crawl out of his skin but curl up into a ball at the same time. Over the past month, these nightmares and episodes had made a brutal reappearance. Shaking off the scare from a cauldron falling next to him used to be a rare occurrence, but the haze seemed to leave Rhys blind until it was too late. Maybe he’d recalled some memory from some item nearby, the pillow? But all he could hear were his own racing thoughts. Somewhere in the background, Rhys heard Juni’s sleepy voice. Time? Glancing around, he didn’t see a clock and, overall, felt too distracted to care about the time. ”I—I dunno.”

Leaning forward, Rhys let his elbows sit on his knees, and his hands cover his face. He didn’t want to feel this way, but thus far, he was failing at grounding himself. After Saffron, it had made sense as to why the reoccurrence had felt so extreme. Other times, it hadn’t made sense. Like when he was home from suspension, Merlin knew he was hardly going to sleep sober then either. The longer he kept his eyes closed and let his thoughts race, the more he couldn’t stop reliving this horror story. It was one thing to watch your mother die, but occasionally, those eyes belonged to him, or he saw his daughter. The daughter Rhys hadn’t seen in almost a month. ”Juni…” Rhys muttered involuntarily like they’d jumped back a decade. He couldn’t do this by himself.

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[juniper minerva mcgonagall]

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The couple of seconds of battle between sleep and wakefulness were brutal. Trying to lift her head up from her pillow, she felt the recognizable twinge of a hangover-induced headache. The easily curable kind with water, greasy food, and muggle pills. Groaning, Juniper shoved her face deeper into her pillow. She was getting too old for this. Newly twenty-nine and she could barely handle a night out any more. That was apparently what happened when she forced herself to work instead of doing happy hour with her coworkers.

Blindly reaching out for Rhys, already forgetting he was sitting on the edge of the bed, her hand met empty sheets. Her fingers curled into them as she turned her head to get a better look at her surroundings. Even with her glasses off and in the darkened room, she could tell he was leaning forward. Her immediate first thought was that he'd started to get up to run into the bathroom and couldn't make it, getting sick right then and there on the side of the bed. She heard him mutter her name, finally causing her to start pushing herself up.

"My head's pounding..." she said sleepily while sliding over towards him. Now that she was closer, she could see that he was leaning forward with his face in his hands. It snapped her awake. She knew what was going on now. Another nightmare. When was the last time she had seen one of these? Sitting next to him, she gently rubbed his back to tell him she was there. That was really all she had ever been able to do during these. Trying to understand what he went through had always been the difficult part of their relationship. Listening and being present when he was ready to talk had always seemed to work. "Deep breathes, remember?" she said quietly.

rhys alexander greyback ● 311

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[rhys alexander greyback]

we signal in a moonbeam

i beg you to follow me

January 13, 2029
juniper minerva mcgonagall

Rhys’s body wanted to curl up into a ball and continuously move at the same time. It was like he would crawl out of his skin at any moment to escape the discomfort. His mind whirled with racing thoughts that pulled him slowly under like quicksand. He hadn’t heard Juni move across the bed or complain about her alcohol-induced headache. For a moment he simply forgot where he’d woken up. At least until he felt someone touch him. Rhys felt a chill at the temperature difference in their skin where her hand made contact. It pulled him back a bit, enough to hear her voice.

Breathe. The pressure on his chest made Rhys feel like he’d been holding his breath. Merlin—would it ever stop? It was one thing to relive one of the worst days of his life, but Rhys felt the added pain of what Sage was doing to him. It hurt not seeing his daughter, and it hurt worse knowing it was his fault. A sense of déjà vu washed over him like a decade hadn’t passed, and Rhys focused on trying to breathe and the motions of her hand on his back.

These things were never quick, unfortunately, and probably made worse this time due to drinking so much the night before. The thing was, Rhys drank to avoid this, but one or two slipped through every now and again. Even though he let out a shuddering breath, he felt less panicked and less adrift. "Thanks…" He muttered. Since he hadn’t checked the time when he had initially awoken, Rhys couldn’t tell how long he was in such a state. The ideal thing would be to get some sleep, but Rhys wondered if he would fall back into another nightmare. "I’m sorry I woke you." Rhys mumbled. His mouth and throat felt like sand, and his head hurt with every word.

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[juniper minerva mcgonagall]

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Juniper could tell right away that he had been sitting there for a while. His back was cold to the touch. She focused on trying to break him away from the head holding, but that seemed like it might take some time. That had happened on occasion. From her understanding, there were levels to the nightmares. Ones he could shake and ones that were compounded on by current going-ons in his life. She assumed it was the latter this time. It had sometimes been hard to watch, because there wasn't a whole lot that she felt she could do in the moment. Telling him to relax and try to move past things wasn't something you just did. That felt cold and uncaring to her.

"Mhmm," she hummed back as he thanked her. Turning around, she found the edge of the comforter in the dark and dragged it over to them, attempting to drape it around both of their shoulders. One of the corners failed and landed halfway across him, forcing her to be a tad more aggressive than she wanted to be at this hour (whatever that happened to be) to pull it all the way around him.

"You didn't really," she responded to his apology about waking her up. Sure, she had because she noticed he wasn't right next to her, but that wasn't anything new. It was a tiny white lie, the kind that didn't matter at the end of the day. "Not like we were going to get much sleep to begin with, right?" They hadn't gotten back to her place from the bars until after two in the morning and then it had been a while later until they'd actually gone to sleep. "It was a bad one wasn't it?" she asked as she pulled the blanket all the way around both of them.

rhys alexander greyback ● 309

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[rhys alexander greyback]

we signal in a moonbeam

i beg you to follow me

January 13, 2029
juniper minerva mcgonagall

Rhys kept trying to shake off the daze, though he didn’t notice Juniper moving. Suddenly, he felt the comforter's fabric on him, and then, her arm attempted to push it over his shoulder. Rhys slowly reached up, gripped the corner with his fingers, and gently pulled it down. He didn’t feel particularly cold but didn’t want to refuse the gesture. Aside from the fact that Juniper was the one who had seen Rhys through a lot—the everyday things that others had not dealt with. Nell knew he had nightmares, but it was never her comforting him in the middle of the night when he was mildly shaken or sobbing uncontrollably after a bad one.

In moments like this, Rhys felt close to her in a way reminiscent of years prior. In moments like this, he regretted letting her slip out of his life twice. Idly, he nodded softly at her question. That part was true. Aside from the bad nightmare, canoodling as they were like lovesick teenagers also felt like a blast from the past. There wasn’t anything wrong with enjoying each other’s company, Merlin knew they’d spent all those years together. There had been good times along with the bad where they were happy and truly connected.

”Yea.” He didn’t feel the need to deny it. The dryness in his throat felt like a lump he had to contend with. ”They’ve been worse lately.” Maybe it was the present company, or maybe Rhys was that vulnerable, but he felt the need to tell her. So much cluttered his mind regarding his life. The threat of losing his career and other legal repercussions. Not to mention, he wondered when he would get to see his daughter again. The timing of everything left Rhys feeling heartbreak he couldn’t comprehend. It was different than the times he and Juniper had broken up. While those times had left him shattered, the situation with Amelia was like Sage was physically reaching into his chest and tearing out his heart.

And yet, he paused before adding more to his explanation. Internally, his body didn’t seem to know the difference, whether Juni was simply a lover or his love. Cognitively, they’d agreed to keep it casual despite their actions. Rhys hesitated. It didn’t feel fair to lean on her in that way again consciously. What if she didn’t want to? What if she left Rhys in this state to enforce that boundary?

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[juniper minerva mcgonagall]

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Juniper was fairly certain that she was never going to be privy to the complete innerworkings of Rhys’s brain. For one, that would be incredibly intrusive – everyone deserved to share what they wanted and keep things to themselves. Hell, she kept quite a bit from her few friends and family. That was what made them both human. But she also knew that he had a habit of containing everything until it reached nuclear levels. That part hadn’t quite happened yet in their recent casual dating and was what she was the most afraid of. With that being said, she was certain that she also understood all of this better than anyone else out there. If he was willing to be vulnerable right now, Juniper was going to listen and help him as best as she could.

It really didn’t take much guessing on what could have been causing all of this. Juniper knew there was something up despite him not saying anything. She was honestly surprised it hadn’t slipped out while they were drinking earlier. Not sure what to say exactly, she pulled him in closer to her. ”I’ll listen,” she said after a few moments of trying to figure out what she wanted to say. ”It doesn’t have to be right now if you don’t want it to be. But when you’re ready, I’ll be there.”

rhys alexander greyback ● 227

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[rhys alexander greyback]

we signal in a moonbeam

i beg you to follow me

January 13, 2029
juniper minerva mcgonagall

Rhys tensed momentarily and relaxed—the instinctual rise of his guard when emotions threatened to escape. Now, the lump in his throat felt more prominent as he contemplated what to say—if anything. Merlin, where did he start? Once again, he felt immense regret because simple decisions in the past created this path, though he could never have foreseen his situation. Rhys never doubted Juni’s authenticity, but he doubted himself. It would be like him not to think something through and ruin something going so well.

She pulled him in physically—but in all the ways. Rhys cleared his throat. Merlin—where did he begin? "I—erm—" His voice felt shakier than he liked, and that haze had not entirely left his brain. Closing his eyes, Rhys inhaled deeply and exhaled. With his eyes closed, Rhys tried again. "Do you think I’m…unsafe to be around?" Opening his eyes, Rhys kept his gaze on the dark floor. The idea of HOWL had floated around his head for some time, especially after those incidents the previous year and Sage’s last words to him.

He recognized how the question could be unexpected. "Sage doesn’t want me to see Amelia—" Feeling his voice waver, he stopped to gather himself as best he could. Saying the words aloud was far different than this idea floating around his skull endlessly. The words had a tactile aspect, making the challenge feel like he was being asked to climb Mount Everest without magic. The anxiety crept through the cracks. "Every time things seem okay…feels like I end up alone no matter what I do." Maybe he was too dangerous to be around? Maybe not for the risk of physical harm, but harm nonetheless. Maybe Amelia would be better off without him, Sage would find someone with some stable desk job to help raise her, and Rhys wouldn’t bother dating because that never worked out either. If this was what Fenrir wanted, well he was winning. Even in the dark, Rhys could picture that snarling look of sadistic happiness he often saw in his nightmares.

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[juniper minerva mcgonagall]

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The sinking feeling in her stomach as Rhys asked if she thought he was dangerous made her feel instantly sick. That was the sort of thing she would never truly be able to understand as a bystander and ally to him and other werewolves. The constant turmoil over whether or not a person would suddenly flip on you once they found out you turned once a month. Her grip tightened on him as he spoke, mostly to hide her own fury that he would even think she might feel that way about him. Not after everything they had been through together. But who could blame him at the same time? Especially nowadays, with the way the Ministry was acting. People she didn’t think were anti-werewolf were repeating nonsense they read in the newspapers without even realizing it. Or maybe they did, and the veil was finally lifting.

”No. Of course I don’t.” But she had also seen Rhys at moments in his life that would make people question her if she was insane by staying with him. Being a werewolf was maybe the first part of it, though that had never been a factor for her. He wasn’t any less safe than the next person with a magic stick that allowed them to have infinite possibilities. ”I’d have to be pretty stupid to keep coming back to you if I thought you were, Rhys,” she added.

Juniper pulled back slightly when he next spoke. She had thought this was about the Ministry’s recent decisions and the fights. In a way, it was. Sage what? How did she think that was going to make anything better? If this was some kind of tactile move to punish Rhys for making a few mistakes or being away too often, it was one of the pettiest things she had ever heard of.

She wanted to tell him that he wasn’t alone but stopped herself short. The gnawing guilt from years ago crept back into her because she definitely left him behind before too. How was she supposed to navigate this without sounding like a hypocrite? ”I’m sorry…that’s not fair to either of you. It’s meant to hurt you, but I think it’s only going to hurt Amelia more,” Juniper settled on as she wrapped her hands around him again in a tight hug.

rhys alexander greyback ● 389

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[rhys alexander greyback]

we signal in a moonbeam

i beg you to follow me

January 13, 2029
juniper minerva mcgonagall

Juniper’s response lacked any hesitation. Rhys already knew her answer, but hearing it aloud provided some validation that he wasn’t completely a monster. But he felt unsure of her next point. Thankfully, Rhys had never physically harmed any of his friends, but in terms of causing Juni any pain over the years—well, they’d done a good enough job hurting one another in different ways. A pang of unresolved guilt hit him in the chest as he thought about the past and when he’d last walked away. In hindsight, Rhys wondered why and could never figure out an answer.

Rhys wanted nothing more than to remain in his daughter’s life, but Sage might have had a point. Was stability and continuity for Amelia far more important than what Rhys wanted? ”I dunno…maybe her life would be easier.” Grimstone, rather than Greyback, would force the target on her back to disappear. She wouldn’t be a target once entering school or interacting with others. Rhys had never thought about how to tell Amelia about Fenrir. She’d find out one way or another. Juni’s hug was comforting but not enough to drown out how he felt.

Despite sharing those limited details, everything felt bleak and hopeless. ”As would yours.” Rhys fell into a daze, staring off into the dark as his mind spiralled further. A Greyback association was not ideal in the present political climate. If Rhys could return to work, it would afford him the freedom to keep himself busy and leave England for a while. Maybe everything HOWL-related would suddenly flip overnight while he was away on another continent. Juni deserved better than those who’d left her in the past with little explanation in the past. It didn’t matter how much Rhys cared about Juni because heartbreak felt inevitable.

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[juniper minerva mcgonagall]

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Juniper hated that, in a way, he had a point about Amelia's life being easier if she didn't have the Greyback association. But wasn't that the same for all members of the family and children of werewolves? She had been under the impression that they were trying to reclaim the name from their murderous, deadbeat father. An attempt to nullify the decades of terror he had reigned down upon their community. Such sentiments weren't going to disappear in one generation. People remembered and reacted accordingly. They were lucky that Rhys and his siblings were mostly well-adjusted members of society and capable of acting like it despite the hand they had been dealt in life.

"Maybe she would have...but that's not the reality we're in. You exist and are present for her. And from what I've seen, a damn good dad too." She didn't know if any of that would matter at this point. Rhys was in one of those spirals now, where she wasn't quite sure if anything she said would be received the correct way. Who could blame him though? Admitting that sort of information to her had to have taken a lot from him.

He went on to add that her life would have been easier as well, and that sort of ticked her off. She wanted to grab him and force him to look at her, but then he'd see the brief bubble of anger that washed over her. "Don't you decide that for me. I've chosen to be here over and over again because I want to. I'm on your side Rhys." She always had been, even when they'd been broken up. Even when she'd spent weeks on her own, wondering if he was alive or dead while out on a job.

Juniper took a deep breath and continued, knowing that what she said next was definitely going to ruffle some feathers. It had been the cause of their first break-up after all. "I think you might need to reevaluate how you go about things. Between work and the uhh...the drinking. Your first priorities are Amelia and yourself. I'm not saying I agree with Sage's decision but...I think working towards bettering yourself will make her realize that you aren't a monster. You're a person who's had an unbelievably difficult life." She paused again to try and let that all sink in, before continuing, "And I'll help you however you want me to. Okay? But everything has to come from you." This was an unbelievable conversation to be having at some unknown hour of the morning. Unfortunately there didn't seem to be a better time for it.

rhys alexander greyback ● 442

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[rhys alexander greyback]

we signal in a moonbeam

i beg you to follow me

January 13, 2029
juniper minerva mcgonagall

Rhys tried to ignore the pain slowly spreading from near his temple. It would be one of those headaches, the result of exhaustion, stress, and a hangover. While the physical pain provided a tether to the present, it reminded Rhys how tired he felt. The lack of sleep caught up faster the older he became, and more energy was required to get through the day. Sometimes, he wondered how long he could keep pushing this boulder up this endless mountain before he finally collapsed. Were he drunk or at least buzzed, Rhys wouldn’t have felt like he was struggling to come up for air as waves kept knocking him over.

Juniper was not the only one to say Rhys was a good father. He appreciated the compliments, even if he never felt he was doing the right thing. But it also made him feel worse. Amelia was the greatest thing that ever happened to Rhys, and now he wondered when and where he’d see her again. Juniper responded quickly to his lamenting. In the same sentiment, Juniper, as a part of Rhys’s life, had been for the better despite the pain, but he wondered if the same was true the other way around. Bringing his free hand up to his face, Rhys stubbornly wiped at his eyes as he struggled to maintain composure. All he could do was nod.

It was very important that Juniper wanted to be there with him. So many aspects of their situation were conveniences, but not their connection. Still—there it was. The drinking. Were Rhys not so exhausted and dazed, he might have left to fetch a glass of something. His body tensed for a moment while he battled his mind. ”But I’m not a—“ Rhys inhaled sharply before letting out a long, shuddering breath. Logically, Rhys knew she was right. Just as he knew Si and Nell were right. And yet, something inside him refused to play ball. Maybe if he could figure out the other legal things and his suspension, he could talk to Sage.

At least he wasn’t alone. Merlin—when was the last time they’d talked like this where Rhys dared lower one of his walls? But if there was anyone who had seen behind all of those walls, it was Juniper. Not even over the course of two years had Rhys ever let Vasilia in as far as Juni had been. Part of it was a habit, and the other part was fear. And best friends could only venture through so much territory. ”I always wanted to feel worthy of you.” Rhys admitted. She had given him many chances, including one where he walked away. ”And to be a good dad.” If only the paths were clear.

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Juniper was already mentally kicking herself for deciding to broach the alcohol problem while he was in this state. The problem was that it was indeed his biggest issue. Everything stemmed from when he was drinking – never towards his friends and family of course – but the guard that kept him grounded was completely dropped under the perfect circumstances. Not to mention that he was stifling everything with the bottle. She had noticed that years ago but kept it to herself because it had never been worth the fight. Looking back, maybe it would have been. Nipping it in the bud then could have led to a wildly different present. Maybe not one that particularly suited the Rhys of today with the way his life had turned out, but it would have definitely made things easier during that first break-up.

He started to protest against it, even going as far as sounding like he was going to say he wasn’t an alcoholic. They both knew that wasn’t true. She was technically one as well by the silly standards created by muggles, all because of the few glasses of wine she drank every week. ”Either way, she thinks there’s a correlation. Right now, she has all of the power. Your only goal is to prove her wrong. Whether that’s getting sober or never drinking around Amelia, it’s up to her to decide.” She knew that was a tough ask of him, but she also knew that Rhys would do whatever it took at this point to see his daughter. If there was ever a time, it was literally now.

It all culminated with Rhys’s feelings of inadequacy. She felt the tinge of guilt again as he said that he felt like he wasn’t worth of her, knowing that it had destroyed him when she ended things the first time. It had hurt her then and was still limping behind them. At the time, she had ended things to protect her own sanity. That was the only choice she felt she had back then. ”You are,” she said as she pulled his head closer to her chest. It was sort of an answer to both, because it was true. He wouldn’t have been this torn up if he didn’t care. If only Sage could see what she had wrought.

rhys alexander greyback ● 386

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[rhys alexander greyback]

we signal in a moonbeam

i beg you to follow me

January 13, 2029
juniper minerva mcgonagall

Rhys opened his mouth to protest again but stopped. It felt condescending at times because Rhys wasn’t an idiot. He knew he drank more than the average person, but people acted as if he had no self-awareness. When he was with Amelia, he drank less, knowing it was irresponsible otherwise. Merlin knew how far she’d climb up the bookshelf if Rhys weren’t in a state to notice. Still, he hated how much power Sage held over him, especially when she weaponized the things about him that he could not change. His relationship with alcohol was not on that list, however.

He leaned into the gesture, although it was unclear which statement Juni was responding to. Considering she had previously called him a good father. Rhys assumed it was that. He supposed that was expected, considering their history. And at this point, he was too exhausted to wallow further into this bottomless hole he’d dug himself into. And maybe this was just clueing him in that it wasn’t the right time for that other conversation with this disagreement with Sage on his plate. A sinking feeling entered his chest, but he didn’t mention it. The last thing he wanted was some spontaneous declaration of how he felt to get rebuffed when he felt so awful already.

But she said she would help him and be there. It was something better than nothing from someone who knew him best. Clearing his throat again, Rhys spoke. ”We should—uh—get some sleep.” The pounding in his head was proving physically exhausting. Rhys just wanted to sleep.

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