Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2016 12:11:10 GMT -7
"but the child is lost"
@superluigi64 && @hannah
@philiplongbottom && @alice && @aurora && @lestrange
"You all have the right to mourn about this, about everything, but don't let it stop you. Don't let it change you,"he lifted his head to look at his mother. how could they keep this from changing them? he didn't get how they were supposed to do that. he hadn't realised that his hands had started shaking a little as he thought about it and he shook his head. "how do we stop that? i mean .. how do i not let seeing ethan just .. dangling there change me or how i see things or .. how do i stop seeing dad kill someone over and over in my head.. " he cut it off there and dragged his hands down his face, keeping them there so he could hide the way his face looked. he didn't want them to think him as weak, not right now. maybe later when it had all sunk in and they weren't caught up in what had happened would he let himself let them see him any different. now wasn't the time to fall apart and he took a few deep breaths to try and keep his thoughts together. but it was hard. “Before today, you didn't know. History lessons can give you cold facts, but to actually understand what it means to say I had the highest kill count at the Battle of Hogwarts...well. You cannot understand it until you see it. So you never understood what I am in war. But your mother knows. And whoever hired these people knows. They...knew, when they did this, that most of them would perish here at the castle. And when they returned to their employer, the rest would be killed off as well. The one flaw in this plan was that they didn't know Harry was here. If they had, they likely would have waited, or sent even greater numbers. It was meant to be a balancing act—enough to succeed at their task, not enough to return in numbers too great to be wiped out. They still nearly failed, simply because Harry was here.”so the people who had attacked the castle hadn't known harry was there? good. they had at least been able to spring some surprise back on the people who had done this. sitting on the steps jay's had his arms wrapped around his waist as he sat there, resting his arms down on his legs and he hunched over them a little, letting his head hang for just a moment. he didn't know what to think or how to feel. how to put it all straight in his head and how to make sense of it all. he wanted to become an auror, well how could he if something like this tore his mind apart. he chewed his lip a little as he lifted his head and looked at his father. "so harry being here helped you? maybe it's a good thing al blew up the tower then" he said softly as he looked back down at the floor. a blessing in disguise maybe? that had to be the only reason harry had been at the school that night. he shifted and dropped an arm from his waist to run his hand through his hair as he moved to get up from the stairs. “The person behind all this had a very good measure of how much damage I can do, and prepared accordingly. Aurors are currently headed to the rendezvous point that our prisoner gave us, but likely all they'll find is evidence of Disapparition or Portkeys, and there's no way to track where they went.”he started to pace the legnth of the stairs, worried that if he stayed sitting down any longer he'd fall asleep on them and not be of any use at all. not that he could be, he was the youngest and the least skilled in what they all knew .. he rubbed his hand up and down his arm lightly as he walked. "what about the trace? are any of the seventh years under seventeen? if they were and they used magic .. " he glanced in his father's direction then toward his mother. okay so it was a long shot and may sound stupid to someone who wasn't thinking like jay was but still .. it was possible. if seventeen year olds could be sixth years why couldn't a sixteen year old be seventeen. throwing idea's out there seemed like something to do. he felt like his thoughts would drive him crazy if he just stopped thinking and he didn't want that. he didn't want the scenes from earlier in the night playing over and over in his head.