I Don't Wanna Love Somebody Else (TEDTOIRE!!)

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Teddy was stationed outside of the Minister's office, outside of her office. His partner had just left for a "bathroom" break or something of the same caliber and Teddy was left alone with his thoughts. Thoughts that, when left distracted by something or someone else, all consisted of the blonde that stood just beyond these doors he guarded. Teddy stood completely still, his foot beginning to tap out of frustration. Since his partner had left about fifteen minutes ago, Teddy had been fighting the urge to bust through these doors and talk to her. To tell her how he felt, how it was killing him keeping it to himself. And until today, he had. But he couldn't do it anymore. He had to tell Victoire. It was becoming a burden not only on their relationship but now his job.

Since Teddy had been appointed a part of the Minister's guard, things had been weird between them. They hardly spoke when they were around one another and when they did it was awkward or forced. He was sick of it. He so badly wanted things to go back to the way they were, or at least for her to tell him there was never going to be another chance so he could move on or something. Though, honestly, at this point he doubted he could.

Teddy's foot stopped tapping and he abruptly turned on his heel to face the door in front of him now. He was going to do it. He took in a deep breath and then... he knocked on the door. Not exactly what he wanted to do but he figured a gentle approach was better than a forceful one. He didn't want to scare her away after all. He waited with baited breath for an answer...

@victoire
SOO-PRISE!

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It was always nerve racking knowing Teddy was standing outside her door. He wasn't always there, but whenever the guard decided to place him there she felt a strange surge in her stomach every time she looked at the door. It was bad enough knowing Seb was a few doors down. They had ended things out of professionalism, but she was still scared that Teddy would see the way they looked at each other, the way they smiled at eacher. The idea of the two of them being that close in proximity to each other freaked her out to no end.

Then she heard a knock on her door and it made her jump. Usually she just called out for people to come in, if she was elbow deep in paperwork, but right now she stood, crossing to the door and opening it by hand. When she saw Teddy standing there she shouldn't have been surprised. But she was.

"Everything all right?" she asked, professional.

@teddy

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Teddy had been expecting a much longer wait. Maybe a call to enter, even. He had not been expecting Victoire herself to answer the door so quickly so when she did, he stood there with his mouth slightly agape and staring at her. "Uh," he stuttered for a moment, his eyes looking anywhere but at her. He had been so she he could do this... so sure he could just march in and tell her what he had been feeling, what he had been thinking of every day for the last four years. But as usual... she terrified him. She was too good for him. Victoire Weasley: Minister for Magic. Teddy Lupin: deadbeat author who got a job as Minister's Guard from volunteering. He was nothing compared to her.

"Uh, yeah," Teddy nodded, trying to act nonchalant. He glanced behind him at everyone still working, passing along like it was just any other day. And it was. But for Teddy, he felt like something big was going to happen. Teddy faced Victoire again but looked down at his feet, his brow wrinkling in frustration he grimaced before finally speaking. "Um... do you mind if I come in? To talk?"

@victoire

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Uh, he said. When they were dating, she would close his mouth her hand and tell him if he wasn't going to say real words he may as well not speak at all. She wanted to do that now, but insted she just rolled her eyes as he looked around, obviously avoiding eye contact. Sometimes it was hard being the stern one in the relationship. Not that they were in a relationship. But, you know, in the past. Obviously.

He finally nodded, claiming that everything was all right. As he asked if he could come in, she side stepped and gestured inside. She didn't say anything until he was inside. She closed the door but did not move to sit down. She stayed standing, folding her arms. "What's up?" she asked, tilting her head slightly at him.

With the way he was acting, this was clearly a personal thing he wanted to talk about but... she tried to keep it professional. She was going to hold off as long as possible.

@teddy
(I found a cute gif XD, and some cute backstory added here haha)

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As Teddy stood in the doorway for a second more, stammering, flashbacks of when Victoire would press her finger to his lips flickered into his mind. He had actually kind of missed the way she used to be so assertive with him. That was just the way she was, her personality. And Teddy, being so easy going all his life, had never minded because in the end they could always smile and laugh about it no matter what. He longed to have those days back.

When Victoire stepped aside and allowed him access into her office, Teddy felt himself catch his breath. He didn't let it go again until he had walked further into the middle of her office, his back still to her when she asked him what was up. "It's a nice office," he said, looking around. "Uh," he stuttered once again and then finally turned around to face her, happy that the door was closed so they could actually talk alone. "I, uh, just wanted to talk to you about..." Teddy looked anywhere but at her, not sure of how she would react to what he was about to say. "About us."

@victoire

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He started off with complimenting her office, which was a pretty standard move on his part. She let out a breath and tilted her head to the side as if begging him to get to the point. She waited patiently until he finally got to the point.

Then her folded arms unfolded and dropped to her sides.

Was he serious? He wanted to talk about this here? In her office? Getting to this office was the exact reason why they had broken up and now he wanted to talk about it here? Granted... she had made it, hadn't she? No, no she couldn't think like that. Now more than ever she needed to stay focused and that was the exact reasons she had left him in the first place.

Granted... he now worked here and would be here all the time...

She shook her head, turning her entire body away from him and facing her desk. She wasn't sure how long she had stood there not answering him before she finally opened her mouth, but did not look at him. "What about us?"

@teddy

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Coming back and working for Victoire was almost like a dream for Teddy. He had always wanted to see her happy and successful, and he knew that happiness was within the Ministry. That had been a big part of why he had let her go. But now that he was there with her almost all the time, it was harder than ever to suppress his feelings. He wanted to be able to talk to her again without it being awkward and more than anything, he wanted to feel her in his arms. Even if it was just a long overdue hug.

Teddy took in another deep breath as he finally looked up at Victoire and watched her as she looked away from him, shaking her head and turning her back to him. Of course this wasn't something she would want to talk about... Teddy really didn't want to talk about it either, but he felt like he had to. It was beginning to eat away at him. For Merlin's sake, he didn't know how to morph any part of himself anymore. The sadness and anxiety he constantly felt toward this subject was eating him alive.

"Vic," Teddy let himself close is eyes for a moment as he let out the deep breath. Then he surprised himself with how he was suddenly able to look up at her without looking away. "I can't keep pretending that nothing is wrong with me. That... that nothing happened between us. I can't not acknowledge that anymore..." he spoke softly, but loud enough for her to hear the serious tone his voice took on.

@victoire

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"Vic." She actually flinched when he said her nickname, still not turning to look at him. She wasn't sure if she could trust herself to look in his eyes in a moment like this. "I can't keep pretending that nothing is wrong with me. That... that nothing happened between us. I can't not acknowledge that anymore..." His voice came out soft and serious, and she could feel his eyes burning into her skull. It wasn't that she didn't want him, it wasn't that at all. No, it was the guilt that was gnawing at her stomach.

Not the guilt that she had dumped him. Not the guilt that she hadn't even written him while he was in Greece. Not the guilt that she had hired him causing him to be so close to her yet so far way at the same time. Not even the guilt that she wasn't looking at him right now.

It was the guilt over this.

"I slept with Sebastian," she said, finally turning to face him after she had said it, "more than once."

@teddy

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This was it. This was going to be the moment where Teddy laid it all out on the table for her. He was finally going to tell her how for the past four years, she was all he could think about... that he never really stopped loving her and continued to love her every day. He needed to let her know... he couldn't go on without her knowing. He didn't expect her to just drop everything and feel the same way he did, but as long as she knew... then Teddy would be better.

Another deep breath...

"I slept with Sebastian."

The breath never let out. Teddy's face froze. It didn't show hurt, surprise, or anything. It was blank, but his mouth hung slightly open. He thought back to that day when he had gone out to lunch with River and they had seen Victoire there with a man. A man Teddy should have recognized as the Minister's Adviser. His heart was beating so fast in his chest but it felt like it was slowing to a stop, hurt. What had he been expecting? For her to wait for him for four years? Of course not. She had always been too good for him and it should have come as no surprise that she had other suitors lining up to be with her! But why was he so shocked and hurt? Was it because it was a coworker? No, it was just the fact that she had found someone else. Someone else to keep her happy when he couldn't.

"Oh." Teddy couldn't manage anything else. He looked down at the floor for a moment and the silence between them was deafening. Finally, he looked up at her. "How long?" It had slipped out. He hadn't meant to ask that. It wasn't his place! They weren't dating! But still... Teddy felt like he had to know...

@victoire

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She could see so many emotions running through his face and they weren't good. She actually took one step forward as if she was going to go to him, but that's as far as she got. Even the one word 'oh' made her feel even more sick to her stomach. Then he asked her how long and her eyes widened slightly for a split second before she answered, looking down at the floor by his shoes now. "It was about six months. I really liked him, it wasn't just a superficial thing. We're just friends now, though. Have been for... since I was sworn in in January," she lifted her gaze to look up at him, something strange stirring in her eyes. Something she recognized but wasn't able to put a name to.

"Four months ago. It's more than over I just... thought you should know that. Because... other than you..." she found herself biting her lip then to stop herself from continuing her sentence. She knew he hadn't just come in here to listen to her confessions about her time without him. She knew that he had more to say. The question was, should she stop him now or should she let him continue?

She wanted to whisper, I really loved you, or I've only loved you or even maybe I still do love you, but she held her ground. She couldn't remember how to use her mouth and a part of her didn't want to.

@teddy

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Six months. So, definitely since Teddy had been back home. No wonder she had seemed so distant and far from him... she had been seeing someone else and she liked him. Teddy never thought Victoire to be superficial so of course she liked him. Plus, Teddy had seen Sebastian Rockefellar. There really wasn't anything to not like. Teddy didn't know how to respond now. He just sort of stared at her, his eyes blinking once or twice. She had found someone else... meanwhile, he had been too wrapped up in his feelings with her to worry about anything else. And it only made him feel worse.

Teddy's eyes finally showed something other than just a blank stare when she explained why she had felt the need to tell him. They widened slightly and he found his head leaning forward a bit to be sure he had heard that correctly. So, other than Sebastian... there was no one else. That made Teddy feel... slightly better. "Oh," he nodded again. "Uh... okay." His eyes slowly averted to the floor again.

Teddy stood there in silence then for a good five minutes. She had explained herself and now Teddy felt he had to as well. "I... I came in here today because I... I can't go any longer without telling you I still have feelings for you." He looked up and for the first time during the encounter, met her eyes and held their contact. "I... never really stopped loving you Victoire." It felt good to finally be able to say all of it, to get it off of his chest. And as he spoke, it just became easier. "And I know this may be the last thing you want to hear right now but Merlin damnit, I'm still in love you." Teddy instinctively took an emotional step toward her, that pull feeling stronger than ever.

@victoire

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"Oh, Uh... okay." She didn't want him to avert his gfaze back to the floor, but she was actually grateful that he did. It gave her a moment to catch her breath. Vic stood there in silence as well, waiting for Teddy to talk next. She didn't know what to do or what to say, so she was going to let the ball be in his court for now. That was not an easy think for Victoire Weasley, to let someone else take the reigns. But she was at a loss here. What else could they even say?

Oh, that. Her looked up at her after saying those words, those words that he still had feelings for her. Then those words that he had never stopped loving her. She kept her eyes locked on his, as if she even had a choice in the matter, and her heart was beating hard against her throat. She felt herself trying to shake her head, but it wouldn't move. Then he said he was still in love with her and took a step toward her.

She didn't move forward, or lean back. She stood there for a moment in silence, until she finally was able to rip her eyes from his and look down at the floor diagonally to her right. "I love you too," she half whispered, half choked. She took a step back however. "But I don't have time for this. I don't have space for this," she said, not daring to look up at him again as she back up even more. "I can't do this," she felt that heartbeat in her throat stronger than ever and it was choking her. She actually felt like she couldn't breathe. Is this what asthma felt like? She didn't stop backing up until her back hit the wall behind her and she realized she was hyperventilating.

@teddy

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When Victoire didn't move, Teddy stopped moving toward her. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting but... she just stood there. He supposed he should have expected that, if anything. How was she supposed to react? Rejoice and embrace him? He hardly believed so. She finally seemed to make some sort of movement when she looked away from him and down at the floor. She seemed to try to speak then as well but Teddy couldn't make out what she had said. "V-Vic?" He asked, eyebrows raised, his own heart pounding in his chest.

The next words that left her mouth shouldn't have come as a shock to Teddy, but he had to admit that hearing them still sort of stung. But something about the way Victoire was speaking didn't seem right... then she was backing up away from him and all Teddy could do was stand there and watch her. He didn't think he should get close until... she backed up and hit the wall and still didn't seem to be speaking with her normal confidence and tone. Something was wrong.

"Vic?" Teddy slowly made moves toward her, his hands reaching out to her should hesitantly and slowly. "Victoire, a-are you alright?" He asked, his tone stricken with worry for what he had brought on in her behavior.

@victoire

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"Vic?" she heard him saying her name and looked up at him, making eye contact as he moved toward her. He reached his hand out, slowly, and the moment it made contact with her shoulder she instantly felt the constriction in her throat open and she was able to take in a deep breath, slowing her breathing until it was at a normal pace. She finally lifted her gaze to his, her eyes shimmering with tears. "It's hard," she began, her voice barely louder than a whisper, "I don't think I'm cut out for this," she took a shaky breath, collapsing her shoulders forward, slightly leaning into his touch.

She lifted a hand and placed it on his cheek before pushing off the wall. She had to get it together. She had to be honest with him. "I mean I don't think I can do this and love you, Teddy. I had to push those feelings aside to get here and..." she shook her head, pulling her hand back and get voice softened again, "what if I lose my balance?"

She was reminded of her recent conversation with Royal. How they both had the careers they had wanted but weren't really happy. Vic couldn't afford happy, though. She didn't have room for happy.

@teddy

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Teddy's brow was creased in worry as he saw the tears forming in the eyes of the girl he loved. He had always hated to see her cry... much worse when he was the cause, too. Teddy could feel his body tense and strain to hear her quiet whisper when she confessed she wasn't cut of for what this was. She leaned into his touch and he felt a sense of protection immediately come over him, like he needed to envelop her in his arms to make the tears go away. But he didn't.

Edward Lupin could have sworn his heart was going to explode when he felt her soft hand briefly on his cheek. It had been the closest touch he had felt from her in four years and he let out a small gasp just as it happened, then it was over. He looked away just as she began shaking her head. He was thinking of how to respond to her. More than anything, he wanted to be with her. He was positive that that fact was never going to change. "I'd be there." He said in a quiet whisper, more to himself than to her. "I'll always be there to catch you Victoire. To keep you balanced," he said, slightly louder as he slowly shook his own head. He could see where this was going and he knew that whatever he had to say, it wasn't going to get through to the stubborn, career driven woman.

@victoire
I'm getting TASM feels here... it's like Peter telling Gwen he can't be with her but gender swapped. D':