Truly Madly Deeply [Zander]

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The past week had been.... quiet. Not much going on, and Braelynn hadn't had any reasons to leave the apartment. Zander had been practicing his music, and Braelynn had been working on... wands. Half of them were failures, from lack of experience, but she was slowly getting better. Only one had really worked, and they'd mailed it to Cecelia in hopes that it would bond to her. To her surprise, and joy, it had. Now, she was attempting to make her own wand, to see if one of them might work for her. Unfortunately she hadn't had much luck. Whenever she'd needed a wand, she'd had to use Zander's. Her's was, obviously, missing.

She sat at the kitchen table, her supplies spread across the top, but she'd temporarily forgotten about them. Instead she was focused on the letter in her hands. It was from Andy. Her hands had turned white from clenching the letter so hard, as had her face. Taking a deep breath, she forced her hands to relax, and released the letter. She slowly stood up, taking the letter in hand once more and crossed to the living room where Zander was playing the guitar. She held the letter out, not saying anything, still as pale as a ghost.

@zander

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Zander was just chilling in the living room, writing some music, when his beautiful wife came in from her work in the kitchen. He looked up at her with a loving grin, only for it to vanish at the sight of her face. She was incredibly pale, and she was holding a letter out to him. He quickly set the guitar aside and went to her, one hand catching the note and the other sweeping behind her back to lead her toward the couch. He attempted to direct her to sit down and he'd sit beside her, opening the letter in his lap, his other hand still on Bay's back.

He read it, skimming the happy friendly stuff until he finally saw that name Desirae. He stopped, reversing back to the beginning of the paragraph and reading it. As he did, his hand slipped off Bays back so both hands could clasp the letter. "What... Oh, Bay," he turned to look at her, shaking his head, "she's okay, though. That is... good news?" he really had no idea what Bay was thinking about all this. Zander felt disappointed, but felt bad about being disappointed. He just wanted to know what Bay felt and needed right now. He wondered what happened to Desirae... he found himself wanting more details. "Do you want me to find out what happened?"

@braelynn MA WIIIFFEE

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Braelynn didn't really... know how to feel. She didn't know if she was mad, or upset, or relieved, or.... anything. Just that she was bombarded by so many emotions all at once that she felt like there was a weight on her chest and it was making it hard to breath. That was the first time she'd seen or heard.... Desirae's name.... since it all happened. She almost didn't feel Zander's hand at the small of back, or even realize her feet were moving until he'd led her to the couch and she sat down. But once she sat down, she pulled her legs up on the couch, close to her chest and rested her forehead against her knees, taking a slow, deep breath. She hadn't thought Desirae's name would have such an affect on her. That after six months she'd be able to face what happened without any real reaction. Flashes, what memories she did have of the duel, came flooding back, and she closed her eyes, taking another breath. She finally knew what emotion this was.

Fear.

Braelynn was terrified of her own sister. She raised her head after another deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart but it hadn't helped much, and looked at Zander. Still pale, "I don't know." She managed to admit. Was it good that Desirae was okay? Would she rather have had Desirae die..? His next question didn't seem to have much more affect then the first, because she just shook her head before pressing her forehead against her knees again. "I don't know." She repeated.

@zander

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Braelynn took a deep breath and Zan was glad of it. He was worried that'd she'd stopped breathing for a moment. He kept his eyes on her as the words came out of her mouth. He wasn't surprised by them, not in the least. She shook her head and pressed her forehead against her knees. He rubbed her back gently, leaning forward to set the letter on the coffee table so he could turn toward her and place his free hand on her leg, just under her knee. "Come here," he said softly, gently tugging on her with his hand on her back to pull her toward him so that he could wrap both arms around her.

"This isn't your responsibility now. You're not a part of that," he reminded her softly. He silently wished Andy had talked to him first, but what was done was done. He understood the girl had good intentions, or so he hoped. She had to, she was one of Lynn's best friends.

@braelynn

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Braelynn didn't move for several moments. Just took slow deep breaths to try and calm that fear. It wasn't until Zander spoke up that she raised her head. She looked at him for a few silent moments, before swallowing and nodding. She leaned into him, her arms wrapping around his waist and her forehead resting against his shoulder now as she took a few more steadying breaths. She didn't want to be afraid. She was done being afraid. And yet... it was still there. Deep down, despite trying to hard to forget it or move on.

His reminder, of her not being in that anymore, was needed and sweet. She smiled just a little, but she still felt that guilt from having been involved in the first place. If she hadn't, or if she'd gone to a Professor and told them what she'd known, maybe she could have prevented some of the deaths. Especially the one she regretted the most. And that was something she'd only... partially confessed to Zander. "I... went to see him. After the first attack. Ethan.... I... I told him that I knew what had happened." She started to tell him. She hadn't told anyone this, but she needed to tell Zander. No more secrets. That came with being married. "He.... He was supposed to turn me in, so I'd tell everyone what I knew.... But they found out about you before he could. They would have hurt you if I said anything." Not they, Desirae. But she couldn't bring herself to say that name right now. If she'd told the school what she'd known. If Ethan had turned her in like she'd asked, maybe he'd still be alive. She could have saved him.

@zander

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Zander looked to her as she looked up, nodding eventually. He gladly accepted her leaned into him and wrapping her arms around his waist. He stayed quiet as she took the breaths, heaven knew she needed it. He'd sit there for the rest of his life if he had to, if it would make her feel better.

He was surprised when she mentioned Ethan and stayed still, listening. She was going to help Ethan, but they ran out of time. He ran out of time to... turn her in. Zander tried to imagine what things would be like now if that had happened. Ethan would be alive, Elaine might even be imprisoned... and Bay wouldn't have to pretend to be dead, would she? But something was overcoming all those feelings of regret and sadness. A strange pride swelled in his chest at her explanation of his involvement... that she had not said anything in order to protect him from them, He could guess who they meant, but he wasn't planning to say that out loud. He nodded, biting hard on his lip as he thought for a moment. Then he turned and kissed her forehead, "I know it was hard to tell me all of that," he said slowly, "but you followed your heart Lynn, and... I'm glad you did," he admitted. "I'm glad we're here, together. I know it's scary and you feel guilty but," he took in a deep breath through his nose, "I would do the same for you. I'd do anything to keep you safe."

@braelynn

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Things would have been very different if Ethan had turned her in. She was pretty sure for one that she wouldn't have almost been killed by her sister, Desirae. Instead, she'd probably be dead for sure, killed by Elaine for betraying them. But Ethan would have been alive. But Zander.... She didn't dare think of what they would have done to him. Desirae and Elaine didn't have empty threats. They would have hurt him. Killed him maybe.

Braelynn nodded against his chest as he spoke. She wished she could tell him more. She knew there was more. That something had happened during those four days of captivity. But she just couldn't remember. It was all a haze. She was positive that someone had mess with her memories in some way. Because everytime she thought it was coming back to her, the images would blur again, and be once again out of reach. But she knew it had to do with the nightmares. The ones that still plagued her at least once a week. She'd never been able to tell Zander exactly what happened in them, her voice locking up when the images were still vivid in her mind and only releasing when she couldn't recall any details.

As he finished speaking, saying that he'd do the same for her, she pulled away just enough that she could meet his gaze. She didn't doubt it. She loved him. He was her other half, her husband, the love of her life. She wanted him to always be safe. "That's all I want too. You safe." She started. That's all she ever wanted. And she'd do anything to keep him safe.... As she'd already proven. "Thank you... for not giving up on me, even when I want to." He'd been her rock all these months. She knew she couldn't have gotten this far without him.

@zander

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Zander looked down at her as she pulled back. He nodded at her words, "of course, Bay," she said softly, bringing a hand around to place on her cheek. "I'll always be here. Right here," he promised. He smiled softly at her for a moment before leaning forward to gently kiss her. It was short and sweet, and he pressed his forehead to hers afterward, closing his eyes and resting there for just a moment.

Sure, he was the happiest man alive, but that didn't mean things were easy. Bay had nightmares still, he couldn't tell his family that he was married or that she was alive, he wanted to share his music with the world but he worried about her being exposed because of it... it was a complicated life, but at least they were side by side.

After a few long moments, he spoke, "how are the letters with Cecelia going?"

@braelynn

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Braelynn smiled softly and leaned into his hand as it pressed against her cheek. She hoped that someday she'd be able to tell him everything. That maybe someday her voice would let her speak freely about it all and that her memory would come back. That someday they wouldn't have to hide and she could tell Cecelia that she was still alive. She could find a job at a Wand shop, maybe even Ollivanders if she was lucky enough. If she kept working on learning the craft on her own. "I don't deserve you. You're so amazing." How had she ever gotten to be so lucky? He really was amazing, in every way. Returning the kiss lightly, she closed her eyes and sighed into the kiss.

The mention of the letters and Cecelia made her open her eyes for a moment, before closing them again. She kept her forehead pressed against his. This time when she sighed, it sounded more depressed. "She isn't good. She... She's where I was last year. No way out, stuck in a life she doesn't want. Only she doesn't have someone like you to pull her back. I... I don't know if she's still involved with them." She hoped she wasn't. Please, she hoped her twin was smart enough to get out of that mess when things went crazy. She hadn't been that involved last year. She hadn't known as much as Braelynn. She could have easily gotten out, because she hadn't known their plans nearly as well as Bay had.

@zander

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Zander shook his head at her words about being undeserving. It was who didn't deserve her, not the other way around. Still, he let her say the words without interrupting or countering her. It was her prerogative to say it if se wanted, of course, and he wasn't going to get into that discussion about who was in a better place. Plus, it was better to kiss then to go on about that anyway. Being married and all now, it was even easier to get lost in those kisses and forget that they had other things to discuss. But they did, so the conversation continued on.

Lynn spoke about how Cecelia wasn't good and he nodded, understanding completely. He remembered what Bay was like in the hands of Desirae, and he felt horrible that Cece had to go through the same thing. "I... maybe I could help," he started to say, but he wasn't sure how. His initial relationship with Braelynn was because of his usual flirtatious nature and need to woo all the beautiful women in the school but now... well, even since the moment he met her, his entire outlook had changed. He was useless without her, and she was the brightest light in his life. She had told him that he was the same for her, of course, but could he be that for Cecelia too? Could he help her?

He sighed, "I don't know how. I could write her, I suppose, but I don't think that'd be much good. I don't think anything but-" he paused. He didn't want to suggest the obvious, that the only way out of this was to remove Desirae from the picture. He sighed again, another sad sigh, reaching up a hand to stroke her cheek with his thumb, "we'll get out of this some day, right?" he asked softly, almost pleading. He was always going to her for answers.

@braelynn
((I can't with these two ahd;f <3))

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Braelynn took his hand in her own and squeezed a little, a small and sad smile on her lips. How were they supposed to help Cecelia? Neither of them were really in a position to pull her out of Desirae's clutches. Not only that, what would happen if they tried? Desirae had.... had tried to kill Braelynn rather then let her chose her own path. Her own sister. What would Desirae do if Cecelia did the same thing..? How much worse would it be? The thought was terrifying. She swallowed and shook her head. "I don't know. I just.... I hope she can get out... before it's too late." She'd released his hand when he moved to lightly stroke her cheek. Her eyes moved back to his own, holding his gaze as he asked that desperate question.

She wished she knew the answer. Would they get out of this? Would they be able to go outside someday, together, and not be in constant fear? Would they be free of her past, and Desirae? She didn't know. Not for sure. But she could have faith that they would. That someday everything would be okay. "I hope so." She answered, a silent determination in her voice.

@zander

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Zander was just grateful for her hand in his and her smile, even though it was small. That was all he had right now, really, besides his siblings and his music. The world was so small for him right now, so many other things lying just outside of it. He nodded as she said that she hoped Cece could get out of all the bad before it was too late. He didn't know what to say about that, he didn't know how to save Cece. Except for to get rid of Desirae.

Then she held his gaze, agreeing and hoping that they would get out of this someday. "When that day comes," he promised, "we're going to do great, great things, Lynn. I promise," his voice was just as determined and steady.

@braelynn
(almost time for a new thread with finding out desi is dead? maybe one with ranger soon? when shadow is free?)

[Deleted]

-Cutting to after Desi dies-
It had been a quiet few weeks since Braelynn found out about Desirae being attacked. Quiet, but good. Zander was working so hard on his music, and from her understanding he'd be recording his first official album soon! It was amazing, and Braelynn was proud of him. With Zander's help they'd even found a wand shop that was interested in a few wands she'd managed to finish. They weren't perfect, obviously, but well enough that a shop felt they had potential. Now they had to see if they actually sold. That was the real test.

Either way, it was morning, and Braelynn had just barely finished getting ready for the day. It wasn't like anyone other then Zander would see, but it made her feel at least semi normal. Stepping out of the bedroom they shared she went to the kitchen to fix a cup of coffee and then moved towards the front door. The Daily Prophet was usually slipped through the mail slot each morning, and it was one of her only ways of getting news. Well, besides Zander but he wasn't much of a news person. She was raising the mug to her lips to take a sip when she saw the front page of the Prophet. Her body froze, every muscle locking up as the mug slipped from her fingers and shattered on the wood floor. Bay didn't utter a single sound, nor could she tear her eyes away from the article on the front page.

Desirae was dead.

@zander

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Zander was still in bed when Braelynn got out. He reached out for her but he was too slow, she was already out the door. So, he just fell back to sleep. He wait jolted awake by the sound of something shattering. He didn't bother to grab a shirt because he was too busy grabbing his wand and jolting out of the bedroom. He didn't see anyone other Lynn, though. He lowered his wand and slowly approached her. Her mug was broken on the floor and she was reading the paper..

"What is it, Lynn? What happened?" he asked, panic clear in his voice. So many horrible things could have happened. Ranger. Kegan. Andrew. A lump caught in his throat and he stepped up behind Braelynn to look at the paper over her shoulder.

'High ranking member of Elaine Duprees gang, Desirae Rousseu, was apprehended and killed...' He caught his breath, frozen for a moment.

Desi was dead...

Desi was dead.

Desi was dead!

This was good news, really, not that he was going to outright say that to his wife right now. But this meant, that maybe, just maybe, Bay could come out of hiding. Zander lifted a hand and gently placed it on her shoulder.

@braelynn

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Braelynn felt... numb. Painfully numb. Dead. Her older sister was dead. Her older sister that had tried to kill her was dead. The reason she had been forced to remain in hiding for over half a year. The reason she couldn't set foot outside as a human without feeling a moment of panic. The reason everyone thought Braelynn was dead. The reason Zander couldn't tell his family where he spent so much of his time. The reason behind every single problem in her life. Dead.

She should be happy. She knew Zander would be. They didn't have to worry about Desirae any more. But Braelynn... didn't feel anything. She felt just like she had when Zander first came to her. Numb and painfully empty. His hand on her shoulder was like electricity, jolting her back to reality. When had Zander gotten there? She didn't say anything to him, just leaned back into her husband, eyes finally forced shut as she tried to remind herself to keep breathing.

@zander