frozen smiles meant to keep love away [andy <3]

[Deleted]

april 2011

Natalia Isadore Lestrange was six years old, and everyone knew it. She obediently stuck six fingers up when she was asked how old she was, because apparently none of Mother and Father's friends realized that six-year-olds were much too old for the silly finger-holding gimmick. She did it anyways, though, because it made Mother and Father happy, and when they were happy, Natalia was given a sweet before bed. She had just returned from one such performance, and the house elves were now shuttling her to the music room so that she could practice her piano for the day. Natalia liked the piano, so she sat on the bench happily, waiting for the house elves to lift the cover off of the keys so she could begin. Natalia began tapping out a more complex song, hoping that she could at least learnt he keys that day so she could focus more on the rhythm at her lesson tomorrow. Joining her song, though, was a different sound, and Natalia stopped playing, turning around on the bench so she could see what was happening.

@lestrange

[Deleted]

April 2011

Andromeda didn't mean to break the vase. She was five years old, violin in hand, and their parents weren't home. She had been practicing on her tiny violin for hours and hours. Why? Because her mother said that if she stopped playing for even a second she'd know and then Andy would be in big trouble. She did stop, though, when her mother left the house, to rest her fingers. But, not for too long out of fear. However, she started to ignore the sheet music and played her own things, all locked up in her room where no one would hear.

Soon, she heard the piano playing downstairs and she stopped. She opened her door and creeped down the stairs before turning the corner and spying on Natalia for a moment. Then, she heard a popping sound outside and panicked. Mum was back. She spun around, reading to run back up to her room when her violin smashed into a pearl vase which then toppled to the ground and completely shattered.

Andy hastily turned to a house elf, holding her broken violin out to them, "upstairs, to my room, quickly!" and the elf vanished right as their mother walked in the door, and proceeded to scream at Andy upon seeing the vase.

@natalia

[Deleted]

april 2011

The sound that had disturbed Natalia’s playing was, at first, footsteps, but as soon as her piano stopped, she heard two noises in quick succession – the popping sound of her mother returning and then the crash of something breakable, and likely very expensive, hitting the floor. Natalia hopped off the piano bench and quickly ran around the corner, to where her mother was standing, irate at seeing the vase on the floor and preparing to yell at Natalia’s sister. “It wasn’t Andromeda, Mother.” Natalia said before she could think. “I knocked into the table when I came back from seeing Father’s friends.” Natalia couldn’t believe she had just done that! She never lied to Mother and Father. Ever. And she had just stuck her fingers up so that she could get a piece of candy – there was no way that she was going to get a sweet if her parents thought she had broken something! She didn’t even like Andromeda. But it was too late now. She had lied, and now she was going to have to receive whatever punishment had originally been meant for her little sister.

@lestrange

[Deleted]

April 2011

Suddenly, Natalia was there and speaking about how it wasn't Andy who broke the vase. Andy was too in shock to say anything, especially at such a young age. Natalia took the blame herself. Andy had never seen anything like that.

Suddenly, their mother took a deep breath and bent down to Natalia, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Oh darling, that's all right. Just a mistake," she said in a sweet voice. The contrast between how she had been speaking to Andy only seconds ago was incredible.

Their mother patted Natalia on the head as she stood, then shot Andy a warning glance before walking out of the room. Andy slowly turned to look at her sister, her big eyes wide and horrified, but also filled with astonishment. "You... she... why didn't mum yell at you?"

@natalia

[Deleted]

april 2011

Thankfully, whatever anger Mother had been feeling because of Andromeda’s clumsiness dissipated quickly as soon as she realized that it was not Andromeda’s clumsiness, but rather Natalia’s, that had caused the mess. Natalia batted her eyes at her mother when she said that it was just a mistake. “I won’t do it again, Mother.” Natalia said earnestly, her eyes not even flicking to Andromeda as she did so, even though she wanted to glare at her little sister and let her know this was strictly a one time thing. Mother departed after patting Natalia on the head, and she was about to return to her piano lesson when Andromeda spoke to her.

“She didn’t yell at me because I’m her favorite daughter, of course.” Natalia said, flicking her hair over her shoulder before turning and flouncing back to the piano, not a care in the world. It was good to be the favorite.

@lestrange

[Deleted]

april 2011.

Andy realized she couldn't move as her sister said what she somehow already knew deep inside. The favorite sister. Andy knew that, always had. She also knew that she wasn't even wanted, though she didn't know that she knew. She was so young, so trusting, but still she didn't realize this. That she wasn't just unwanted, but she was treated differently. She felt her eyes welling up with tears and clenched her fists before turning and walking up the stairs. Trying to remain calm and she walked up to her room...


----

sept. 2016

They were at the train station, Platform nine and three quarters. It was time for Natalia to go to Hogwarts for her first year, and Andromeda would be left at home with her parents, alone, for the first time in her entire life. To say she was scared was an understatement. Sure, Natalia and Nikolai weren't great siblings, but that didn't mean having them there didn't help. Her parents focused on them, leaving Andy to her own devices often. Almost forgetting her sometimes, which was a blessing.

The ten year old Andromeda Lestrange was pushing Nikolais cart for him, toward the train, while their mother was straightening out his clothes. Natalia was near her, and Andy realized she was staring at her sister.

@natalia

[Deleted]

september 2016

The train station was loud and crowded, and Natalia didn’t like it. The Hogwarts Express was chugging cheerily at the side of the platform, waiting to depart and take her to Hogwarts. Natalia wasn’t sure that she wanted to go to Hogwarts, though. She would get to be with Nikolaj, of course, but only if she was Sorted into Slytherin. It scared Natalia that it was such a big if. Her parents would probably accept everything except Gryffindor, of course, but still…Natalia fidgeted a little, and then a little more. Someone was looking at her, Natalia realized, and that was why she was so fidgety. Well, it was part of the reason. Nat turned to find who was looking at her, and then found none other than her own sister staring back at her. “Andromeda.” Natalia snapped. “Why are you looking at me?” If her sister was going to say something like she was going to miss Natalia, the elder girl was sure that something bad was going to happen. But…why else would Andromeda be looking at her? Natalia was confused, and she wanted answers.

@lestrange

[Deleted]

Sept. 2016

Natalia said her name and Andy winced, not sure how to answer. She swallowed hard and shook her head just a little, "n-no reason. I was just... wondering what house you'd be put in," that was a good lie, because it was partly true. She really did wonder, because she wondered if she'd be in the same one. A part of her wanted to be... but another part of her didn't. In fact, the more she thought about being in a separate House from her siblings, the more amazing that sounded. That thought gave her a little confidence, and she stood a tiny bit straighter, "and I hope you're happy there," she said, completely honest. She really did, otherwise Andy would have a year of suffering at home for nothing.

@natalia
(omg these two break ma heerrrt)

[Deleted]

september 2016

No reason. Natalia sighed at the response. You didn’t just stare at someone like that for no reason, but evidently Andromeda was going to make up something rather than tell the truth. “Mother and Father will be fine as long as I’m not put into Gryffindor.” Natalia said with a shrug. “I would like to be with Nikolaj, though.” While she wasn’t close with her younger sister, Natalia loved her brother, and getting to spend more time with him at school was an appealing idea, even if Natalia wasn’t sure she belonged in Slytherin. The older girl softened a little when her sister said that she hoped Natalia was happy at school. “I hope you’re happy at home.” Natalia said after a pause. That wasn’t likely, given Andromeda’s tendency to anger their parents, or else be ignored by them. “Just don’t break any more vases and you’ll be fine.” She said, voice quieter so her parents wouldn’t hear and doubt their ruling in the incident all those years ago. The whistle blew in warning, and Natalia glanced over her shoulder. “It’s only one year until you come, too.” She wouldn’t be changing her habits to interact with her sister any more when they were at school together, of course, but since home wasn’t Andromeda’s favorite place, Natalia hoped that was some solace.

@lestrange

[Deleted]

Gryffindor. It was like that word floated on the hair and into Andy's ear, lodging there, just behind her eardrum. It sounded like a steady drum and every time someone said the word the drumbeat just got louder. She could taste it on her tongue, Gryffindor. A Gryffindor Lion.

Oh no, Nat had been talking about she hadn't been listening. She came back into the moment when Natalia said that she hoped she was happy, not to break any more phases. Was that... a joke? Or a warning? Either way, Andy managed a small smile at her sister. "Thanks for - uh- looking out," she almost said 'for me', but she cut herself off. She nodded firmly. "A year. Yeah. Hopefully I'm with you guys," but she didn't mean that. Her heart wasn't in it, either.

@natalia
(you start the next thiiinnnnng?)

[Deleted]

september 2016

Andromeda thanked her for looking out, which was a ridiculous thing to thank someone for, as far as Natalia was concerned. She nodded at her sister, who repeated what Natalia had said about it only being a year. Natalia was half-tempted to hug her sister, as she saw so many other students doing to their younger siblings, but it hardly seemed proper to do that in such a public setting. “Goodbye, Andromeda.” Natalia said, taking her luggage and hauling it onto the train. After she found a compartment and sat down in it, Natalia found herself with the strange urge to look out the window. She couldn’t pick her sister out of the crowd, but she waved goodbye when the train departed the station anyways.

----

december 2017

Gryffindor. The word was still ringing in Natalia's ears, and she wasn't sure what she ought to do now. Her sister had been Sorted into Gryffindor that year, and it seemed to be the only thing that people were talking about at the Lestrange Christmas party. If Natalia knew her parents, they had been abusing her sister nonstop since that moment. Well, they did that already, but still. Natalia found herself scanning the room for Andromeda, finding her easily. She marched over to her sister, head held high as she did so. Maybe her family would be embarrassed to consort with Gryffindors, but Andromeda was her sister. Besides, standing next to her was a lot easier than taking the fallout for a broken vase, and Natalia had done that before. When she reached Andy, Natalia smiled, though it was a little forced. “Happy Christmas.”

@lestrange

[Deleted]

Dec. 2017

Gryffindor. Gryffindor. GRYFFINDOR. The past few months had been a whirlwind of emotions for Andy. She had cried, laughed, screamed, hissed and smiled. Most of these things were done on her own, though, for she wasn't sure if she could make friends yet. A part of her believed that her parents could take her House away from her, and she didn't want to make connections if that was going to happen... she also was just flat out afraid to make connections at all. So far she had treated her housemates rather coldly, not sure how to break down that wall she was so comfortable behind.

Her parents had sent her a letter the day after the feast. To say it was brutal was a gross understatement, it was downright horrific. They hadn't stopped writing, occasionally, just to remind her that they were so disappointed. That her house would preach 'free will' and she needed to understand that a Lestrange didn't have that. A Lestrange followed orders. She was dreading going home for break...

And here she was. Her parents were cold, often acting as if she didn't exist and casually pushing her aside when needed. The rest of her family heard, of course, and most of them had been avoiding her, whispering about her in the corner. Andy stood by the piano, her violin resting on top of it. Normally, her and Nat would perform a piece or two separately for the family at Christmas. Her parents hadn't asked her to this time.

She heard a voice and tore her eyes away from the violin to look at her sister, "Nat- Natalia," she said, surprised.

@natalia

[Deleted]

december 2017

Andromeda seemed surprised to see her, which Natalia would have expected, if she had bothered to think about it. Everyone else was avoiding Andromeda like she had a plague. Natalia was sure that if she looked over her shoulder she would see several relatives scandalized at the fact that she had even approached her sister in the first place. “My name hasn’t changed in the last three months.” Natalia informed her younger sister. “You know, I thought I was making a stir by being Sorted into Ravenclaw. Have you always wanted to upstage me this badly?” If it weren’t for the tone of voice in which Natalia was speaking – casual, almost tender – she could have come off as cold, cruel, even. And she still did, to some extent, but somehow the Ravenclaw hoped that her sister would see she wasn’t trying to antagonize her. “Do you want me to say something to Mother and Father for you?” Natalia asked bluntly. They both knew that anything and everything was better received from her lips, but Natalia didn’t want to go meddling if her sister wasn’t going to be grateful for it in the end.

@lestrange

[Deleted]

Dec. 2017

Natalia called her out on the stuttering and Andy felt her blood temperature rise just a little. It was easier to give into that anger now when you were surrounded by a house that was constantly telling you to stand up for yourself. She wasn't there yet, though. Not here. Then Natalia made the comment about Andy upstaging her but... it didn't sound like she was being mean. She was... trying to be nice? Maybe, joke? Andy swallowed, shaking her head, "I don't - I think-" she muttered, but stopped. Then Natalia asked if she wanted her to say something to their parents and Andy immediately shook her head. Then, she stopped and breathed in through her nose, a long breath, before speaking. "I," she started boldly, pausing again, "can handle it. I like where I am," she said again, her confidence wavering and coming back in small bursts. "Thank you, though. I..." she swallowed, looking at something else in the room for a moment, "wasn't trying to upstage you," then she looked back at Natalia, "but maybe it was my turn?" she tried to have that soft tone as well, to show she was trying to be nice.

@natalia

[Deleted]

december 2017

Andromeda began boldly, by saying that she could handle everything, and Natalia nodded slowly, though she didn’t necessarily agree with what her sister had to say. “If that ever changes…” Natalia said, trailing off. “The offer is a standing one.” She doubted that Andromeda would change her mind on the subject, but it eased Natalia’s mind to know that if her sister ever did come to her senses, she would be there. Not there, of course, because that wouldn’t be proper, but she could rebel in one of the little ways that she was able.

When her sister suggested that it was her turn to upstage Natalia, the older girl smiled wryly. “I would rather you not try to upstage me in that way, Andromeda.” Natalia said. “Perhaps try to upstage me in a more positive way?” The older girl suggested. Their parents wouldn’t be pleased with her if Andromeda were to earn better marks than her, but at least they’d be angry at Natalia, and not Andromeda. Then again, their parents could turn anything into a bad thing, it seemed, where Andromeda was involved.

@lestrange