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last online Apr 20, 2024 3:19:37 GMT -7
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Apr 29, 2017 11:19:13 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2017 11:19:13 GMT -7
@maria <3 Samuel's sister had been talking to him about a particular person. This person, with whom it took a long time to get the name, needed help. His older sister, Freya, was a Healer at St. Mungo's. She had been called into Hogwarts to go speak to this student and try to figure out what was going on. Samuel spoke with Freya here and there, and once figuring out that it was Maria, he invited himself along without approval from his sister. She didn't fight him much on it, though. Samuel ended up going dressed in his Ministry robes, and Freya had let her own boss know she was taking him along and that he worked in the Department of Mysteries and could give a different perspective to it all.
After the Yaxley siblings were thoroughly checked at the gates of the castle, they were cleared to enter. Samuel knew with who their father was, it was even more necessary to be harder on the two of them, but they hadn't found anything of course. The walk to the Hospital Wing wasn't long, and he had a small smile, reminiscing of his own years here. They were so long ago, but he still remembered clear as day. However, what he saw as his sister entered the hospital, was Maria, strapped down to the bed. Samuel clenched his teeth together tightly, suddenly angry at the way she looked.
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last online Apr 20, 2024 3:19:38 GMT -7
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Apr 29, 2017 11:51:25 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2017 11:51:25 GMT -7
@jill7
Maria was having a really.... really bad day. It'd started out pretty bad, waking up in the hospital wing, seeing how bad she'd hurt Viola, seeing that scared and worried look of Elias'. And it only got worse from there. The vivid hallucinations had come back, worse then the night before. Her arms, that had just been healed for burns now had plenty thin pink lines, marks of more healing skin from where'd she'd created gouged in the flesh. Then of course there was the bed she'd set on fire.... Basically all in all, it'd taken two of the Hogwarts healers to force her down onto a (not burned) bed and then leather straps were tightened around her wrists and opposites sides of the bed frame. Both restrains had been charmed to be fire resistant, to prevent her hands from igniting further. Being tied down was not a pleasant experience. The bed in question was slid into one of the healer's offices, to prevent her from.... disturbing any other students. Screaming and setting things on fire was pretty distracting after all.
By this point a St. Mungos healer had been called in, and thankfully Maria had calmed down (as in wasn't screaming or crying.). She wasn't doing that great though. Her whole body felt like it was on fire from the intense urge to scratch. None of the soothing ointments they'd tried had worked to solve the problem. And so, she was left to just... deal with it. Her hands periodically jerking to try and scratch but unable to move more then a few inches. The itching wasn't the worse part though. The hallucinations were much, much worse. They came and went.Sometimes there, sometimes not, but always horrifying and gut wrenching. IT was like she was living a nightmare, constantly being terrorized by things she feared and hated.
When the door opened, announcing a visitor (Samuel and his sister), Maria was currently in the clutches of another hallucination. Her hands were squeezed into the tightest fists possible, her knuckles write from the pressure and restriction of blood flow, her eyes squeezed shut as well as if to try and tune something out. She wasn't... thrashing exactly, but her whole body was shaking and periodically jerking as she tried desperately to curl up into a ball or swat at something, though the restraints never gave...
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last online Apr 20, 2024 3:19:37 GMT -7
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Apr 29, 2017 12:02:51 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2017 12:02:51 GMT -7
@maria <3 The more Samuel observed Maria, the more he saw what was wrong. He glanced at his sister, not caring if she knew how much he cared for this girl held down in front of them. Maria was a friend, and he had told Freya that. In fact, Freya held a hand up to him, basically telling him to wait. But as Samuel turned, he saw Maria shaking. Her entire body. The leather straps causing a thick red indent in her wrists from holding her down. Small, pink lines of new flesh on different spots of her body. Her eyes were shut tight, not realizing that Samuel and his sister had come into the room.
Ignoring his older sister, Samuel moved closer to Maria anyways, his black robes moving back and forth behind him. He stopped curtly beside her bed, his dreadlocks hanging down as he looked at her uncomfortable facial expression. Samuel turned his head to the left slightly, eyes glowering down at her. This was not the way to help her. If anything, he was sure it made it worse. He reached above her head, just above as to not touch her, his fingers resting in the air over her cheek. Samuel spoke a single word, not anything more. "Maria."
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last online Apr 20, 2024 3:19:38 GMT -7
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Apr 29, 2017 12:25:41 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2017 12:25:41 GMT -7
@jill7
"Maria."
That was not one of the voices she's been hearing all day. Not one of the voices that belonged to her hallucinations. Was it simply a new one, trying to coax her into opening her eyes, or was someone there? It took several agonizingly long seconds (or they felt like it, really they were quite short) for her to realize that it wasn't a 'new' voice. She knew who the owner of it was. Samuel. He must be a part of the hallucinations, the chances of him being here... It was almost impossible. Almost though, not completely. That tiny possibility that Samuel might be real, and not just a figment of her imagination was enough to finally get the girl to open her eyes.
And by some sheer miracle, she found herself staring up at Samuel. Not a hallucination of him. Him. Really him. "Samuel..?" Her voice was deathly quiet, lacking all of her usual intensity and flair. No real resemblance of her. It shouldn't be possible for that agonizingly desperate whisper to be from Maria, but it was. It was... difficult to focus on him, the edges of her vision chaotic flurry. It was instinctual to look, to follow the movement, but it was a mistake. As her gaze flickered in that moment of weakness from Samuel and to a space only inches from him.... she let out a mournful whimper, her hands jerking as hard as possible against the leather straps. It'd hurt, how hard she was fighting them, but it was almost as if she couldn't even feel it. As if she was completely unaware that fighting the restraints this hard would actually cause injury. But considering those fading marks on her skin, showing just how much she'd actually hurt herself... It was likely she wasn't feeling much of anything aside from whatever tormenting her.
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last online Apr 20, 2024 3:19:37 GMT -7
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Apr 29, 2017 13:51:18 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2017 13:51:18 GMT -7
@maria <3 Not too long after he spoke, Maria opened her eyes. They looked empty, like there was no emotion. This wasn't the girl he knew. The girl he knew was seductive, confident, happy and always trying to make him uncomfortable. This girl...she was alone, scared and nervous. It didn't take a genius to know something was wrong. But what it was...that would take a while to figure out. From looking at her, other than the physical scars and exhaustion, she looked the same. But Samuel wasn't sure how much Maria knew, or could even say. Considering her voice was a whisper and shaky, Samuel didn't expect much.
He glance at Freya with concern, hoping she had some idea running in her brain about what was going on. Samuel looked back after Maria whispered, and he finally allowed his hand to fall the few centimeters to her cheek. His thumb rubbed it back and forth. "It's me, Maria. Samuel, yes." A rush of relief ran through him that she remembered who he was, and he let out a small sigh, but his expression went hard as she whimpered. "Does something hurt?"
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last online Apr 20, 2024 3:19:38 GMT -7
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Apr 29, 2017 14:12:45 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2017 14:12:45 GMT -7
@jill7
Maria hadn't noticed that Samuel wasn't alone. Right now though? She was never alone. For all she knew anyone else in this small office was just part of her hallucinations. A figment of her imagination with the intent of mental torture. The only problem though? It didn't feel like any of this was her imagination. It looked so real... felt so real. She kept fading into episodes of forgetting that she was hallucinating and getting so caught up in it all that she truly and honestly believed it was all real. And that was the most terrifying part. Falling into the delusion of the illusions.
She could tell his hand was pressed against her cheek, but she didn't feel it over that intense irritation. Her skin almost seemed to permanently be on fire right now, and every time she looked down at herself she freaked out even worse, because then she saw the reason behind the irritation. So she didn't look. Fought the urge to look every time her eyes were open. Unfortunately the illusions weren't just on her body. They were in the entire room. Which was why looking away from Samuel, or even having her eyes open right now, was just a terrible idea. She would have turned her head away from him, but there was just the slightest bit of pressure on her cheek when she shifted, his hand. It wasn't his intention probably but it was almost like he'd blocked her escape. Though there wasn't much of an escape for her to begin with. So instead she just forced her eyes shut once more, shaking and fidgeting still. He'd asked a question, but it was difficult to think of a proper response. "No." She managed to get out in that same tone as before. She didn't hurt. At least not physically.
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last online Apr 20, 2024 3:19:37 GMT -7
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Apr 29, 2017 14:33:12 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2017 14:33:12 GMT -7
@maria <3 This wasn't normal. It wasn't okay, and it needed to be dealt with. Which is of course why Freya was here, but why were they leaving her tied up for hours on end? His sister spoke up and told him she was going to go speak to the head nurse, and he just nodded his head to her. Maria hadn't even noticed Freya, at least not what he could see. Samuel watched as his older sister exited the office and turned back to Maria to see her shut her eyes and try to turn away. His heart broke for her in this moment.
Samuel bent down on his knees, not caring that his work robes may become dirty. All he cared about was that Maria knew he was here and wasn't going to hurt her. "Why are you shaking if you're not in pain, Maria? What's going on?" He was worried. She hadn't answered his owl. It had been too long and he was worried something was terribly wrong, and it was. Samuel took his hand back, looking over the scars on her arms in front of him. "Why are you tied down...? Are they helping you?"
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last online Apr 20, 2024 3:19:38 GMT -7
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Apr 29, 2017 15:02:34 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2017 15:02:34 GMT -7
@jill7
Samuel wasn't the only one speaking. So when he spoke to.. someone, her mind instantly assumed it wasn't real. The voices were just as bad as the irritation on her body and the horrible sights attacking her vision. It was so... so hard to ignore them. To ignore painfully familiar voices saying terrible things. Constantly bombarding her with lies meant only to inflict emotional damage. She knew they were lies. But still... It was emotionally draining to hear them. Over and over again. Drilling them into her head.
Her eyes opened again as he spoke, though she looked feverish and pale for the first few moments. Apparently her mind was much more creative when she'd first imagined. So instead, she tried desperate to focus on his green eyes, desperately, as if hanging onto them like a life line. She had an... answer of sorts to each of his questions. But finding the words just... well, considering the color she'd turned talking wasn't always the most comfortable thing right now. But nothing was comfortable.... "Because I'm seeing things. Feeling them. Hearing them." Was her answer. All of her senses were under attack. And by the way she was acting? She didn't think it was necessary to say what she was seeing. It should be obvious that none of it was pleasant. As for the restraints... " So I don't hurt myself or anyone else..." What's worse was she didn't even realize it was happening until it was too late. Didn't realize she was going to hurt Viola until Viola was too close. Didn't realize she was hurting herself until they healed her up. And yet no one knew why it was happening yet....
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last online Apr 20, 2024 3:19:37 GMT -7
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Apr 29, 2017 15:23:14 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2017 15:23:14 GMT -7
@maria <3 So... She was having hallucinations? Samuel assumed whatever she was seeing, hearing and feeling wasn't real. There was nothing here currently for her to be so afraid of, especially since it was only him and his sister in this office. Maria couldn't be afraid of them, she'd never met Freya, and also seemed to be quite content with Samuel every time he was around. But the reasoning for her hallucinations? He had no idea. But Freya would, she was a healer. That's what she did, and he assumed that's what she was off doing with the nurse.
Maria's skin tone turned a horrible color and his eyes widened. She didn't look like she was going to actually get sick but her pale complexion said different. Samuel took in a deep breath and shook his head slightly. This was horrific. This poor girl was strapped down against her will because something was happening that she had no control over. "I'm sorry, Maria... My sister will figure this out. I'm sorry." Samuel couldn't do anything to prevent it. No one could. "Has Elias been to visit?" Had she hurt anyone else? The only person she said she wouldn't?
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last online Apr 20, 2024 3:19:38 GMT -7
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Apr 29, 2017 15:40:40 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2017 15:40:40 GMT -7
@jill7
Maria didn't look away, no matter how much the hallucinations tried to tempt her. Tried to get her to fall back under it's total control. It shouldn't be so difficult, and yet... It took all her will not to look. Why was it that even though she knew what would happen if she did she could barely stop herself? She didn't want to see, hear, or feel any of this! As he apologized she swallowed hard. He shouldn't be apologizing. He hadn't caused any of this. As for his sister... Was that why he was here? "Maybe I'm just going crazy..." She whispered. A thought that had become more and more appealing as time passed. What if she was? Going crazy. Having some psychotic break. People would believe it. Maria had always been rather.... intense. Who could blame her for finally snapping?
The question of Elias visiting took longer to answer. Again, her eyes never looked away, but there were a few moments where it was almost like you could see into her mind through her eyes, watching the gears trying to turn but struggling. She'd been seeing so many things today.... Had Elias been to visit? It took several moments before she could remember he'd visited this morning. He'd been there when her second bout of hallucinations had started. "Yes." Though if they'd permitted him, or anyone else for that matter to see her since that event... That she wasn't so sure about, struggling to separate reality from illusion.
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last online Apr 20, 2024 3:19:37 GMT -7
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Apr 29, 2017 17:47:32 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2017 17:47:32 GMT -7
@maria <3 Samuel scoffed at Maria. He could make a joke, but this wasn't the time to do so. Not only that, but Maria wasn't in the state to even understand or get angry at him. It would've been useless. But she was not crazy. Well, she was, but she wasn't mentally crazy. If she was that would have been diagnosed many years ago. That wasn't something that just appeared randomly at any age. Samuel knew that, but maybe Maria didn't. "Maria listen to me. You are crazy. But you are mentally crazy. Someone must have done something to you. Freya will figure it out."
Once more, his head tilted in confusion. She couldn't remember if her favorite person had been to see her? Something was definitely wrong. That was so not normal. "Do you remember if you hurt him, Maria?" Samuel assumed getting as much information from Maria as possible for his sister would help. He was glad she responded with a yes, as Samuel assumed Elias would've gone.
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last online Apr 20, 2024 3:19:38 GMT -7
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Apr 29, 2017 18:10:03 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2017 18:10:03 GMT -7
@jill7
Normally she would have laughed at the idea of going crazy. Found it just as insane as he did. But right now? Not really. She didn't find anything funny at the moment. If anything the only thing she did 'feel' was this overwhelming stress, fear, and anxiety. She was pretty sure that her heart might just give up sometime. Despite being mostly immobile, and unable to get off the bed her heart rate was still unnervingly fast. THe healers had already sedated her once, to try to get her to calm down, but it wasn't like they could keep her so sedated she was unconscious the whole time. Especially not after bringing in an outside healer. "Samuel." She started to answer, almost choking on his name as she fought the urge to look away from him. "I feel like I'm losing my mind." She finished, sounding just as desperate as before. Heaven above, she wished it would stop. She'd do anything to make it stop...
Slowly she forced her eyes to close, her breathing still fast and shaky as she took a few forced breaths. Trying to remember. Had she hurt Elias? Please... Please say she hadn't. But unfortunately? Right now she didn't know. Everything from the point where she'd left Viola to now was just a blur. In so much that she was pretty sure she might not even remember this conversation well later. "I don't know." It shouldn't have been possible for her voice to get any quieter but it just had. So deathly quiet she didn't even hear herself. Because as much as she feared all these hallucinations, she feared hurting Elias more. And her mind, and the hallucinations knew that. Because a moment later she heard the familiar voice of her cousin, asking her how she couldn't remember what she'd done to him. In that moment, her eyes flew wide open. A terrible, terrible idea. Because she made the mistake of not looking at Samuel. And in that moment she was caught back up in the hallucinations, Samuel's presence melting away as she thrashed, fighting the restraints with all her strength but getting no where. And the sound she made... It was a sort of wounded whimper that begged to be put out of her misery. And then she was whispering, a single word over and over again as if it were a desperate prayer to a God she didn't believe in. And that word? Please. She was begging... Begging that these horrible illusions haunting her would leave her alone.
It had been a really, really rough day.
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last online Apr 20, 2024 3:19:37 GMT -7
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May 2, 2017 12:12:56 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 2, 2017 12:12:56 GMT -7
@maria <3 It looked like it was making Maria physically sick to look at him. Samuel hoped it wasn't him in general, but how was he supposed to know? Maybe he had warts on his face or something, since she was hallucinating. Though he didn't dare ask her. Her voice cracked at his name, and Samuel noticed she was beginning to sweat. Little beads of water were forming on her forehead, and it was making him nervous. "You're not, Maria. Freya will help. She'll fix this. You just need to hang in there a little longer..."
She finally shut her eyes, and Samuel realized he had been holding his breath. What for, he didn't know. A sharp breath escaped his mouth, but it was inhaled just as quickly only a few moments later. Those three words were the last thing Maria physically spoke, for now. The moment she opened her eyes, she wasn't looking at Samuel anymore, and what he saw made his throat go dry. Samuel's breathing was frantic, and he yelled for his sister. "Freya!" He choked the name out, before yelling it again more clearly. The more he watched Maria thrash around, stuck against her will, the closer he moved to her bed. Samuel looked into her eyes, but Maria's eyes looked empty. Like they weren't seeing anything. That one word that seeped out of her mouth over and over, made Samuel scrunch his eyes together. There was only one thing that stopped Maria before, but he knew he'd get in trouble if he did that here. Shaking his head, he leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers gently.
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last online Apr 20, 2024 3:19:38 GMT -7
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May 2, 2017 19:07:29 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 2, 2017 19:07:29 GMT -7
@jill7
Maria should know it wasn't real. No, she did know it. She knew it, but every fiber of her body was telling her otherwise. All her senses. Everything. It didn't matter if she 'knew' it or not. It felt real in every possible way and nothing she did or thought could change that. Despite how terrifying these hallucinations were though, the worst part was she didn't know right now. What was real and what wasn't. And all she wanted was for it to end, to stop all of it. The school had been very wise to restrain her. She might have hurt some people by accident but right now? The person she posed the greatest risk to was herself. And she wouldn't even realize it until it was too late.
The voices wouldn't stop. In fact they were almost deafening, screaming at her from all sides. Her fault they died, how she always hurt people she cared about, about being good for one thing and needed to be obedient. Even fears from her early years as Durmstrang. Dumb, slow, gypsy. A constant verbal battering. But hey, at least it gave her something else to focus on then the cockroaches (she almost prefer the cockroaches)...
There was a pressure. Almost unnoticeable if it weren't for the fact that she couldn't say anything. Something was covering her mouth. It wasn't the same feeling as the imaginary cockroaches though. It was... someone. The fact it took her more then a second to recognize a kiss only reiterated her current state of mind. But the worse part... Who could it be? Who would be kissing her? Longer then it should have she remembered that Samuel had been the last one to visit her. It had literally only been minutes, but it felt like a life time away, the girl so caught up in the illusions. She didn't kiss him back, not because she didn't want to (she'd never pass up a chance to kiss anyone.), but because she was to busy frantically focusing on his existent, and how she didn't want to be alone. Didn't want to face these demons by herself. Didn't want those voices to be right about her destroying everything she grew close to and would be forever alone. Elias and Viola weren't here right now... But Samuel was. "Please... don't leave me alone." She was... crying as she desperately pleaded him. When that had started she didn't know, but even her eyes squeezed shut didn't stop the heavy flow of tears.
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last online Apr 20, 2024 3:19:37 GMT -7
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May 2, 2017 19:25:49 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 2, 2017 19:25:49 GMT -7
@maria <3 He didn't know if it was working or not. Or if Maria even realized he was still there, or if she thought she was dreaming and didn't think it was an actual kiss. Maria wasn't speaking, she wasn't doing anything except becoming still. Whether that was a good sign or not he was not sure. What Samuel knew was that she was now silent, and he'd try to keep it that way. Try to make sure Maria was safe and sane as much as he could. She hadn't kissed him back which gave Samuel the idea that she didn't know what the kiss was except pressure.
And then... Maria was crying. And Samuel saw her realize it was him, realize he was really there, realize that Samuel was physically in front of her. It was as if color reappeared in her eyes. The sentence that was said was something Samuel didn't think he'd ever forget, nor was it something he thought he'd ever hear from this girl. Samuel felt his heart break, knowing Maria was scared and that she needed help, she needed someone there with her. Sighing in sadness, he stood up but kept his eyes on her the entire time. "I'm here Maria. I'm not leaving, don't worry. I'm here." Samuel knew there wasn't a ton of room on the bed, so he sat on the edge and began lightly brushing her hair, keeping his eyes on hers. He began to speak, absolute nonsense, about anything he could think of just to keep her attention on him and not anything in the background.
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