I've got issues, but you got them too[samuel]

[Deleted]

@jill7

Maria almost hadn't been up to coming on the Hogsmeade trip. There was still this constant nagging in the back of her head that she might snap af any moment. Might return to that state of hallucination and almost insanity. It was truly terrifying, and quickly becoming more terrifying to her than any of her previous fears. But, she'd decided to come. With only one purpose, to see Samuel. She remembered he'd been there, even though those days of borderline madness were still a blur. She couldn't remember what he'd seen or heard or what she'd done... but she remembered clinging to his presence like a lifeline.

She'd sent him an owl, telling him when the next trip was, a few days ago and that if he wanted to talk he'd know where to find her. Even after recovering she was still struggling with being around people. She much preferred being alone, trying to get her mind back in order. And there was only one place she knew in Hogsmeade that would give her that privacy. The hillside she'd showed him. She liked to think it was purely her spot but she knew it was almost as much his, considering everythinf that had transpired between them.

So, here she was, back against a tree as she stared down at the village below. Wondering if he'd show up or not.

[Deleted]

@maria
<3

Samuel hadn't really expected to hear from Maria. More especially, an owl from her. Granted, he had sent one the week prior to check up on her, but this one she sent meant something. She physically wanted to see him, a certain time, and a certain place. It didn't worry him, much; Samuel was just preparing himself for an argument. She was either going to freak out at him for kissing her so much, or for being there while she was like that, or even about him telling anyone of what happened. Though Samuel wasn't stupid, that's not who he was or something​ he'd do.

But he did do what Maria asked. Thankfully that Saturday he didn't have to work until late, so he had most of the morning and afternoon off. Samuel dressed casually, though it was colder out and looked like it would eventually rain. He wore dark jeans, boots and a olive green sweater. If he had the time he might've work a scarf, but he just left the way he was. The trip to that spot on the hill didn't take long. He saw her standing, back up against a tree. Samuel didn't say anything when he saw her, just continued to walk up the rest of the hill.

[Deleted]

@jill7

Maria honestly wasn't sure what she wanted to tell him. There'd been so much going on... she didn't even know where to start when he did show up. She did know that she wanted to see him, though the reason being seemed just as elusive as what she wanted to say.

Only a few minutes after her own arrival she spotted movement out of the corner of her eyes. For the briefest of moments her heart raced, the fear growing that she might be hallucinating again. When her eyes moved to follow the motion though she barely managed to hold in the sigh of relief. It was Samuel, and not another figment of her imagination.

Maria pushed away from the tree, digging her hands into the pockets of her coat as she took only two steps toward him. She'd let him decide how close to get. "Hey." she greeted softly as he approaches. "You came." obviously, seeing as he was there. But right now it was the best she could come up with.

[Deleted]

@maria
<3

Maria noticed him almost immediately. He hadn't meant to scare her if he made any noises walking up the hill. There were tons of leaves and branches he was stepping over, making sure to miss the larger rocks on the path. Samuel could already tell there was something wrong. The way she pushed off the tree, shoving her hands into her pockets and stopping short, only speaking a few words. This wasn't Maria. It was, physically of course, but she wasn't the same.

Samuel nodded his head and smiled, placing his own hands into his pockets. "You're right, I did." He walked closer to her until they stood maybe only a foot apart. She looked exhausted still, but not as malnourished as before. Samuel licked his lips and tilted his head, curious about what she wanted him up here for. It wasn't like there was anything he had done wrong, except, well, kiss her. But he had apologized for that! "How are you?"

[Deleted]

@jill7

Maria knew she was.... different. Looked the same of course. Same tight short skirt and revealing top. Same light coat as if the cold didn't bother her. Same hair style and make up... but still. Not the same. Not after three days of insanity. She hoped she'd get over all this quickly. It was just... it was just so soon that there were still echoes of te time.

His answer brought the smallest of smiles to her lips, tugging at the corners of her mouth but not quite letting anything to wise to show. As he asked how she was though, that small smile almost vanished and her eyes left him to look away. "Better. Than before." she wouldn't say she was doing great, because she wasn't. She physically felt fine now but she left so on guard and worried all the time.. but honestly this was much better than before. Anything would have been better though. Which seemed to bring up one of the reasons she wanted to see him. Her gaze moved back to Samuel. "About... everything-" she didn't need to specify what everything meant. "What you did... I... wanted to thank you." For staying with her. For trying to help her stay in reality and not get lost in the hallucinations. She'd been speaking almost with hesitation as she tried to find the right words. But once she finally got them out, a touch of confidence seemed to appear. Not near her usual but more then before. Her hands left her pockets to hang down her sides and she took a small step closer, cutting that foot of distance in half. "Thank you, Samuel."

[Deleted]

@maria
<3

Maria's small twitch of a smile made him feel better, knowing she was still capable of smiling. He hadn't planned on going into depth about what her hallucinations had been about. Not unless she wanted him to know. Samuel didn't feel comfortable asking, and he didn't really think he'd be comfortable with the details either. However, if it came down to it and she told him, Samuel wouldn't tell her no. Maria needed to talk about what she needed to talk about and he wasn't going to stop her. "I'm glad."

She moved only slightly, finally looking back at him. And then she got closer as she spoke, and Samuel's eyes widened slightly. Her comments were not what Samuel had been expecting, at all. He truly was expecting her to yell at him, But she...thanked him. Which is why there was complete shock written all over his face. "I-You're welcome, Maria."

[Deleted]

@jill7

Maria didn't know if she'd ever be... ready to talk about what she'd seen. At least not in detail. With anyone. She wasn't the most open individual (far from it. She was extremely secretive.). But even those close to her, who she'd shared some of her secrets with... she didn't think she'd ever be able to tell them what she'd seen. those were more the personal. They were secrets she didn't even want to admit to herself, let alone others.

When she thanked him he looked thoroughly shocked, as of he expected someone else. As if her thanking him had never crossed his mind. "You didn't have to do any of that... Not for me. I've... i know I'm not a great friend, or even a good one. But it means a lot to me that... that you stayed." No matter how crazy she'd gotten he'd stayed through it all. He'd seen sides of her she'd never even showed Elias. Or anyone living in fact.

[Deleted]

@maria
<3

Samuel knew he hadn't needed to do anything. Maria wasn't his sister, cousin, or family member at all. She was a school girl he had met on a day in Hogsmeade out of nowhere. And from that day on, he continued to see her, and Samuel had begun to care for her. Considering she had shared so much about her life with him that she didn't usually share, Samuel knew he had a place in her heart even if she didn't say so,

He sighed, and rolled his eyes at the brown haired girl in front of him. Even so, a smile was left on his face. She was being unusually sweet at the moment, and while he was confused, he wasn't dumb. This wasn't something he saw her doing all the time. Samuel was going to enjoy it as it was instead of pushing it off. "I didn't. But I wanted to. Because you are a good friend, even if you don't see it. You just gotta dig deep." Samuel smiled, tilted his head, his hair falling over his shoulder.

[Deleted]

@jill7

Maria hoped she wouldn't be called out on being so... Sentimental. She usually wasn't like this. At all. In fact she didn't actually like being this way. It never felt like herself. Normally she'd have made a face at his comment, but her expression didn't change much. Instead she just slowly nodded. Not really in agreement but silent acknowledgement. Either way, the point was, she appreciated his company during those days of pure hell. And she hoped that there would never be a repeat.

Unfortunately, she still didn't feel like her apology had been good enough. Like there was still something else.... Oh, now she remembered. Samuel had realized just how much of a physical person she was. He'd kissed her multiple times now, and each time he'd managed to get her to stop for at least a moment. But for her, it felt almost wrong. Not because she was being kissed, she was fine with that. But the fact that she hadn't been able to properly kiss him each time... That's what she felt bad about. "And just once... Let me kiss you properly before I get a bad reputation." She whispered, hoping that due to It's volume it would take him a moment to realize what she said. She leaned in almost immediately, pressing her lips against his. And, to ensure he didn't run away her fingers grabbed one of his dreadlocks. Enough that he'd know she was holding it, but not hard enough to really pull on it. It was a cheap trick, using that against him. But she wanted to at least give him one good kiss and him pulling away would ruin that.

[Deleted]

@maria
<3

Maria didn't really respond to him, and Samuel became a bit nervous. He wasn't sure why exactly she hadn't responded, but he was just hoping a hallucination wouldn't appear. If anything, it wouldn't. Samuel knew the Hospital Wing wouldn't allow Maria to leave, let alone leave Hogwarts if anything was bound to happen again. Curiosity told him to ask her what they had figured out, but that could wait.

One specific reason why it could wait was because she spoke slowly and quietly, and as it processed in Samuel's brain he only had a moment to open his mouth. "Wai-" And her lips were on his. Samuel's entire body froze, his lips not moving. Her's were soft, but knew what they were doing. The moment Samuel went to move backwards, shock and slight anger running through his body, he felt Maria's hand grab his dreads. The stiffness of his body disappeared, and he became mush. Maria knew too much about him, knew that by grabbing that dreadlock, what it did to Samuel. He growled angrily, but within moments of her holding onto his hair Samuel pushed back into the kiss.

[Deleted]

@jill7

Maria heard that attempt to protest but it was swallowed up by the kiss, Samuel unable to even get it all out before their lips met. Maria wasn't kissing him because she wanted to seduce him. Or because she was attracted to him (she was, but she was attracting to most people, so that wasn't really a valid reason.). Nor was it because she wanted to have that sort of relationship with him. She had said it was because she wanted to keep her reputation but she honestly just didn't know how else to explain her feelings and at least get one good kiss in. She didn't want him to associate kissing her with trying to snap her out of some psychotic break after all!

Either way, he froze initially and he almost pulled away. If she hadn't thought to grab his hair he would have made it too. Unfortunately for him, she knew how he felt about people pulling on his hair. Was it a dirty trick? Yes. No doubt about it. But was it really that bad to want one good kiss? He was angry though, she could practically feel it, plus that growl against her lips... Definitely angry. But then, he seemed to give into the kiss and push back. Finally kissing her back. Maria had only planned on a good, but short kiss. But that plan was suddenly thrown out the window. She hadn't expected him to kiss her back, and definitely not like that. And being kissed like that? Oh it reminded her of just how long it had been. Weeks. Immediately she matched his intensity... And long after she'd initially intended to break the kiss she finally pulled away, releasing his hair and taking a few steps back.

And there she waited, for him to yell, chastise... Whatever he did. After forcing a kiss on him like that she deserved his wrath. But at least she could finally say she'd kissed him and not just the other way around.

[Deleted]

@maria
<3

He hadn't expected the kiss to be so long, or to even happen for that matter. Kissing this girl?! Why in the world would he do such a thing? He wouldn't, which is why she did, except he ended up kissing her back anyways. It wasn't that Samuel liked Maria, he couldn't like Maria. She was seventeen for God's sake! What he liked, was that pull on his hair and she knew it and she used it for her own advantage. Once Samuel began kissing back, Maria did as well. And he wasn't sure how long they stood there in the woods, their faces stuck together, but during, he didn't care either.

Maria pulled away first, letting go of his hair and taking a few steps back. Samuel kept his eyes closed, trying to calm himself down and take deep breaths. His thoughts were processing, realizing what just happened and what he just did. And as soon as he was calm, he wasn't again. Samuel became angry. More annoyed than angry, but not happy all the same. His eyes shot open and he glared at Maria, not even knowing what to say.

[Deleted]

@jill7

He... Didn't react for a moment. Didn't move. Just stood there with his eyes closed. Maria didn't move either as she waited. Because as he stood their in silence her initial thoughts of him yelling at her suddenly didn't seem so likely. In fact Maria had no idea what he might do, or how he might react. Would he leave? That hadn't been her intention. Anger, she could deal with, but hatred not so much. Not after everything.

And then, his eyes opened abruptly and he was glaring at her. Saying absolutely nothing. His anger and annoyance though was clear as day. And yet... No words. No yelling. Nothing. Just angry silence. Maria didn't say anything either. Just met that glare of his with a look of... Well her expression wasn't really an emotion. It was one someone wore when they knew they were in trouble and were willing to accept their fate with no fuss. Finally though, after several more seconds of silence Maria couldn't help but speak up, just in case he hadn't understood why she was waiting. "You can yell at me if you want."

[Deleted]

@maria
<3

In reality, Samuel couldn't be mad. He KNEW he couldn't be mad, and if he was, he'd be a hypocrite. Samuel wasn't a hypocrite. He hated those just as much as he hated liars. Maria only did exactly what he had done. Three times to be exact. Though...her reasons were different. What had she said? Kiss him properly so she didn't get a bad reputation. Why would she get a bad reputation? He wasn't a child like she. He wasn't kissing her to just kiss her. He had kissed her to stop what she was doing and calm her down.

And then she spoke and Samuel needed to take a deep breath. This girl was ass backwards, and Samuel wasn't sure why. "No." That was all he said in regard to yelling at her. He couldn't. He'd be the bad guy. "Why would you get a bad reputation? Do you really think I'm the type of person to go around telling everyone I kissed a young girl and she sucked at it?" Obviously that wasn't the case, but that's what he felt like Maria was stating.

[Deleted]

@jill7

No? Maria was undoubtably surprised by that refusal to yell at her. She deserved it, after all he'd made his intentions clear multiple times that such behavior was inappropriate. Even knowing that it hadn't stopped her. As he continued to speak she frowned. "I didn't say you would." brag about kissing her and her being bad at it. She knew he wouldn't. That also brought up another point. "I'm not a child, Samuel." He always treated her like she was so young and immature. A naive child. She'd turned 18-years-old last month! She was an adult by both magical and muggle standards!