ADMIN DEE
SITE FOUNDER 5TH YEAR
1,615 posts
played by Dee
You're a kind person aren't you? Well, no, not especially.
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last online Jun 21, 2021 17:36:58 GMT -7
ADMINISTRATOR
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Jul 3, 2017 4:07:43 GMT -7
Post by ADMIN DEE on Jul 3, 2017 4:07:43 GMT -7
JULY 2017 BIRTHDAY PROMPT 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 TOKENS
PROMPT: What a glorious year it has been. Well, maybe not for a lot of our characters. Since our last anniversary, how has your character grown? Write a personal summary in first person about how your character believes they have grown or changed. What's different in their life? And what is ahead for them? - you can submit as many of your characters as you want, but you have to post on each account separately
- all submissions must be in first person
- this prompt will be worth a variable amount of tokens (see below for more information)
- entries will close July 31st
Anniversary Event: You may enter up to five times. The first time you do an entry will be worth 5 tokens. The second time will be worth 4. The third worth 3, and so on.
AWARD:
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last online Mar 28, 2024 22:09:05 GMT -7
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Jul 29, 2017 16:49:02 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2017 16:49:02 GMT -7
It’s not easy for me to say exactly how I’ve grown or changed. I don’t like to think about it, because the word change is kind of a scary one, no matter how much I want it not to me. Inside my head, I’m always the same person – I’m always Viola. I don’t want someone to come up to me and say you’ve changed like I’m no longer me, like I’m no longer Viola. Because really, change isn’t adding on new layers to yourself – it’s peeling away the bits of you that you’ve built up, the many layers of paint you’ve put on to make yourself beautiful, the mask that you wear so that someone else will care for you. I thought that I wasn’t the sort of person who did that. I thought I didn’t care about what other people thought about me, and I thought that I didn’t wear a mask.
Until someone took it off.
I think the reason that Maria was able to take off my mask was because that was never her first goal. She wanted to seduce me, she wanted to have fun, she wanted to do so many things – but making me act like myself wasn’t one of them. And after having people try to rip the mask I wore off my face, it was just so much easier when someone didn’t bother with whether or not I was wearing it. I don’t know why, and I don’t know how, and I don’t know when, but sometime since September, I took off the mask. I stopped pretending that I didn’t care about people, because anyone with two eyes could see that I cared about Maria.
I don’t know what this means for the future. I don’t want to know what it means for the future, either. I don’t want to sabotage myself, or my relationship, just because I can’t quite believe that I can live my life without my mask. I don’t want people to think that because I dislike the idea of me changing, I can’t do it. Because I can. I can get better. I can love people. I can take the mask off.
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last online Mar 28, 2024 22:09:05 GMT -7
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Jul 31, 2017 12:12:40 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2017 12:12:40 GMT -7
I don't like change. No, change scares me. Ever since I was a child change has never been a good or pleasant thing to me. Pain, and heartbreak have always followed. I know what I like, and how I like things so what is so wrong with wanting everything to stay the same? It's what I'm comfortable with. Things couldn't surprise me then. I could see things coming and divert my path before it got to far.
What I wasn't expecting was striking eyes, a sharp tongue, and a will so strong that it made me feel breathless. I wasn't expecting an intoxicating personality that drove me mad. I wasn't expecting rejection and a refusal to submit to my own will. I wasn't expecting... them.
They make me feel mad and sane at the same moment. As if being around them is just as frustrating as being apart. They have turned me into a contradiction.
I don't know what scares me more. That they make me feel this way or that I want to feel it. They make me want to change. They make me want to be with them. To have a future with them.
I can't tell them though. I can't tell them how no one else fully satisfies me anymore. I can't tell them that they make me happy. I can't tell them that I would give anything to be only their's if they would be only mine. I can't tell them how I feel about them because if I do? Everything will change. And change scares me.
I think I love Viola.
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last online Mar 22, 2024 20:49:17 GMT -7
HOGWARTS CAMPUS STAFF
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Jul 31, 2017 17:04:35 GMT -7
Post by parvati patil macmillan on Jul 31, 2017 17:04:35 GMT -7
I'm taking a bit of my own advice for a change. I know that no one will ever read this, but there's something about putting quill to parchment that feels quite good, really. (To tell the truth, I probably should have done this sooner.)
In a year's time, my marriage has been dissolved. I've learnt that maybe that isn't such an awful thing, even if it often feels like it. I'd like to think that I am a stronger woman (and mum) because of it. My sons have shown me how strong they are, and I am so fortunate that they are in my life.
I've learnt more about other people, too—particularly, the people I shouldn't have trusted. I know that I can't change the past. I know that I shouldn't be so hard on myself for it, either.
I've learnt that time, itself, is a precious commodity and that we never know how or when our lives might change—for better or for worse. I'm lucky to have my health and my family; too many people I know have lost theirs.
Even with everything that has happened, I'm trying to have a more positive outlook on life. Some days, I try not to look at the Daily Prophet. It's almost physically painful, because I never know what's next. No one seems to know anything for certain.
Still, I worry for all of the students. I worry that parents will begin to pull their children out of Hogwarts, like what almost happened to me and Padma. I worry for the students who are far away from their own countries, and I cannot imagine how their parents must feel. I worry for my own sons, even when they're never very far from me. Merlin, I worry for Anna Weasley, and she's got a massive support system.
And, of course, I worry for the students who haven't got anyone. As silly as it sounds, I still hope that I can do something to help Marcus's children. After everything that has happened to them—and I feel, in some way, complicit in it—they deserve to have hope.
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