Paradigm [Kinsey]

[cara june bainbridge]

@kinsey

Only a few more months were left in the school year. That was the light at the end of the tunnel for Cara. She had suddenly come to the realization that her classes really didn’t matter for her intended career choice, and that putting as much effort as she had been into them was slightly ridiculous. That didn’t mean she was stopping completely though; just more breaks were involved than they had been before. Scoring high was still important to her, but that was only if she wanted something to fall back on. Writing novels didn’t exactly require the majority of the content taught in Hogwarts classes. She had worked on everything of her own accord. Research for short stories and ideas was conducted during her free time, and if she was interested in learning about a certain topic, she would go ahead and do that. Shrugging off all her work and studying would be too difficult to manage. Especially after seven years of pushing herself beyond what she should have been capable of. Only one person figured it out the entire time, and that worked for her. Pissed her off, sure, but knowing that the time for the façade to drop was almost here was relieving. Just a few more months. The constant reminder was wonderful. Of course that was just another thing that she couldn’t show publically, or else her siblings would feel like they would have to slack off as well. Once they figured out their aspirations and how to go about them, they would have the pleasure of not being bossed around anymore. Until then, they had to stay on the grind. No slipping up allowed. They all had it in them.

Currently, Cara was on another one of her breaks. The frequency of them was increasing as she started to care a little less about everything. Wandering the grounds was an often occurrence, and finding quiet places to write was happening a lot more as well. She was in a much better mood when she was working on things she actually cared about. Unless she was being bothered. For some reason, that was a common occurrence these days. People didn’t know their boundaries or when to leave her alone. Just thinking about it made her sigh as she dropped her bag next to a tree and slid down to join it. Sometimes she wondered if making it look like she wasn’t doing work would keep the annoyances away. It was like they were attracted to situations where they would be bothersome on purpose. None of that mattered right now though. There was virtually no one around, and she finally had time to write.

[Deleted]

Riley was in Divination and Kinsey decided to go outside for a bit. She didn't really have anything specific that she wanted to do, but as a general rule she preferred to be out of doors more than inside. Kinsey found herself wandering around, not really sure about what she wanted to do. Then she saw a tree. For some strange reason she felt an irresistible urge to climb it, which was weird for her. Kinsey wasn't really one that was big into climbing, but ... she decided to go ahead and give it a shot for now. She moved to the trunk and jumped, grabbing the bottom branch and walking up the trunk, climbing onto the bottom branch. 

She ended up climbing a ways into the tree and resting her back against the main trunk, actually drifting off. To her complete and utter surprise, Kinsey didn't fall off the tree. When she did wake up, she decided that it was probably time for her to get down. She saw someone sitting on one side of the tree, but didn't really pay much attention to them. She tried to move to the other side so she wouldn't end up knocking sticks or something on the person. She got to the lowest branch and paused a moment. She jumped down, laughing once her feet were on the ground. This was the most impulsive thing she'd done in quite a while, climbing a tree. She wasn't even thinking about the girl on the other side of the tree.

cara june bainbridge

[cara june bainbridge]

@kinsey

Half an hour had passed. At least. Cara wasn’t sure. Time seemed to slip away when she was jotting down notes for her stories. None of her work was ever really complete, more a constant brainstorm of ideas and characters. She had pages upon pages of histories that comprised of each of them, always trying to figure out which ones would work in specific stories that she had written down elsewhere. Usually working on one or the other would create something even better in the end. The best part about her work so far was that there had yet to be another sign of life around her. Apparently everyone was keeping away from this side of the grounds. Maybe Fudge had wizened up and warned them about her nasty temper when it came to disturbing her quiet time. She probably wouldn’t have been too upset today. Then again, Cara never thought she was going to explode until someone or something pushed her too far.

Cara also had a unique habit when it came to jinxing herself, in that regard. Every time she even decided to think that she was free of annoyances, one would come along. This one though, the crackling of branches above her, didn’t exactly become bothersome until it was a full-fledged snap fest over her head. At first she had figured it was birds getting into a tussle, but as the sound increased in volume and speed, Cara was starting to think they were either ginormous birds, or something else was going on up there. And then it stopped for a moment. She barely had enough time to look back down at her notebook to hear one last creak of a branch, and then the thump of feet hitting the ground on the other side of the tree. All of it accompanied by laughter. Cara practically jumped out of her shoes as she tried to back away, unconsciously afraid that another person (or branch) would fall on her next.

Of course it took her a second to recognize the laugh and the features of the girl on the other side of the tree. Of course it was Kinsey. Why wouldn’t it be? There was clearly some supernatural force out there trying to get back at the older Bainbridge for something she had done in a past life. She didn’t deserve to be bombarded with these kinds of things. “Merlin’s beard Kins!” she yelled in shock. “What were you thinking? What if you didn’t stick the landing?” Jumping out of trees, while probably fun to some extent, was dangerous. She really should have been watching out for her own safety. If Kinsey had fallen and gotten hurt, and she hadn’t been right there to see it, when would be the next time someone strolled by to help? Those were the questions that should have been going through her sister’s head before jumping. Instead of voicing those though, Cara decided to give her a chance to respond. Mostly so she could reorganize her own self.

[Deleted]

Kinsey was so caught up in her own pleasure and enjoyment that she honestly forgot all about the person on the other side of the tree. Heck, she didn't even pay enough attention earlier to know whether it was a boy or girl. She just noticed a figure and decided to drop elsewhere. Once she moved to the other side of the tree, she forgot entirely about the other person, who she would definitely be distracting now. 

What Kinsey never would have expected had she been thinking about it, was for her sister to suddenly appear, shouting at her. Of course, that was all Cara ever seemed to do, but this was a surprise because Kinsey never expected to find her here out in the open. Didn't Cara like to study in places where no one would bother her? Maybe she wasn't studying then ... either way she was shouting at Kinsey, who couldn't help but smile a little at the words her sister was saying. Was that ... concern in her voice? Kinsey wasn't quite close enough to sense whether or not her sister was concerned, but she thought she could figure that out on her own. "I don't know Cara. I was thinking: "huh. Don't wanna stay in this tree all day long. What's the quickest way down. Jumping!" She laughed, surprised that her sister's tone wasn't annoying her. Why was she in such a good mood? She shrugged at the second question, "But I did stick the landing, so there's no need to worry about it. I'm fine, Cara. Promise." She held her arms out and twirled in a circle, almost like she was trying to prove her well-being to her sister. Then Kinsey waited, curious to see if Cara would stick to her normal personality and get angry, or if she'd give her little sister a bit of a break.

cara june bainbridge

[cara june bainbridge]

@kinsey

Why was she so happy? Hadn’t Kinsey been a moody little brat lately? Enough that even Diana wasn’t really talking to her all that much anymore. That kind of thing probably looked bad from the outside, but if others were stuck with six siblings for the last fifteen years, they would understand her reasoning. It wasn’t that the twins hated Kinsey…just that they grew tired of the same thing in and out, all day, every day. This was different though. The typical standoffish, ‘pity me’ talk hadn’t happened yet. Usually that was the first thing out of Kinsey’s mouth after Cara reprimanded her. This time it was more sarcastic than anything, though not at the same time. The laughing made it easier to tolerate and not want to bark something back right away. Cara still didn’t think jumping out of the tree without thinking about precautions was a good idea, but she could tell that she wasn’t going to win that fight. It was said and done with, and going on and on about one stupid mistake like that wasn’t worth the time or effort. She had been happy writing things down before Kinsey had interrupted, and seeing as they were both in a semi-decent mood for once, there was no reason to ruin it now. Getting ticked off over something nonsensical would only make working more difficult.

Watching Kinsey spin around and point out that she was fine, Cara relaxed her shoulders a bit. If she said she was fine then she was fine. This went right back to the last point of not fighting over it. Letting out a sigh, Cara headed back towards the, picking up her notebook from where she had dropped it, and sat back down in the spot she had occupied previously. “Good,” she finally responded to Kinsey’s statement that she wasn’t hurt. “Don’t scare me like that again,” Cara added with a mumble before opening her notebook again. She didn’t even know how to carry on the conversation now, seeing as it usually turned into a full blown shouting match. Instead, the Ravenclaw took to staring at her pages of notes. She wasn’t processing any of her work, but it was better to stare at that absent mindedly than question Kinsey more. That never ended well.

[Deleted]

Kinsey was more than a little surprised by her sister's apparent concern for her well-being. This seemed like the kind of conversation she would have expected from Diana- well ... more like the kind of conversation she would have expected from the Old Diana, her Diana. This new one was a piece of work and Kinsey just could not understand her. She wasn't sure she wanted to either. This new Diana obviously didn't want Kinsey anywhere near her and what she said was harsh enough that Kinsey might actually give her what she wanted and stay away for good. The very thought hurt, but she had to keep reminding herself that Diana changed. Somehow. 

She pulled herself back to the conversation at hand, taken aback once more when Cara simply went back to where she'd been before, telling Kinsey not to scare her again like that. "Is there a different way you'd rather me do it?" Kinsey asked softly in a teasing voice. She was hesitant, not really sure how this kind of a question would be taken by Cara, who seemed to always want to be serious, but she really wasn't trying to cause a fight. 

Cara was staring at her notes and Kinsey felt torn. Things actually seemed all right between them at the moment. Did that mean they could talk? Or something? Or did it just meant that Kinsey should walk away before things got bad again? "I thought you liked studying inside. What brings you out here?" her voice was still soft, hoping she wouldn't annoy Cara as she often did. At least this time it wasn't intentional and if Cara really didn't like the question she could just ignore it.

cara june bainbridge

[cara june bainbridge]

@kinsey

Getting scared in this manner didn’t happen a lot. Normally she was the one scaring others; intimidating them to get something through their thick skulls. This wasn’t a normal situation though, and she wasn’t doing work that was pressing in any manner, so she felt fine with getting over the fact that Kinsey had her holding her breath in the seconds after she jumped out of the tree. The shock of both someone suddenly falling and it happening to be her sister was too much to process all at once. When asked if there was a different way to go about it, Cara pondered the question. Was there? It had been a harmful act, and it wasn’t like either of them knew the other was there. Cara had gotten that much out of her sister’s own reaction to seeing her standing on the other side of the tree. At the same time, she was wondering if this was another one of Kinsey’s infamous tests to get her to bark out an order, just to get the whole thing going like usual. Cara wasn’t in her combative mood right now, and looking at Kinsey, she didn’t seem to be either. Not knowing how to answer that question without being upset sounding, Cara decided to continue to stare at her notebook.

A few seconds of silence passed between the last question and the next. Cara knew how she would normally respond. She would have yelled at Kinsey for disturbing her. The first instance, jumping out of the tree, would be excused. Maybe even the first question as well. But she never would have let the second one go by without some kind of remark. And yet she didn’t feel the need to be angry. Yes she was trying to write, but there also weren’t any ideas coming to her at the moment, so it wasn’t like Kinsey was taking her attention away from anything important. Cara swallowed as she looked up from her notebook. “I’m not studying. Decided to take a break,” she admitted. She knew how that could go over with Kinsey, especially after their last disagreement on taking breaks from work. “Working on concepts for…stuff.” She wasn’t sure if she had even told her sister that she was planning on trying to write for a living following graduation. There were so many things that were left out between the two of them because all they ever did was disagree.

[Deleted]

Cara actually didn't answer Kinsey's teasing question, which was better than Kins expected. In all honesty, a part of her was waiting for her older sister to start telling her what to do and then yelling at her when she didn't follow orders immediately. She knew that probably wasn't a very fair way of looking at her older sister, yet it was happening. It seemed that all her interactions with her sister were something of the sort. Kinsey not doing something "right", Cara telling her what to do, Kinsey refusing and an argument ensuing. It seemed inevitable, though this time something also seemed a little different. They weren't fighting and Cara was opting to say nothing instead of getting after her younger sister. Kinsey wasn't quite sure how to take that. She decided to just let the silence stand. If Cara wasn't going to answer, teasing her more might not be a good idea. 

When Cara did speak, her tone was normal and calm, which also wasn't expected. Apparently something was going on because for once she wasn't yelling at Kinsey for interrupting her or whatever else she wanted to yell at her for. She said she was taking a break and Kinsey really wasn't sure what to say. "Breaks are good," she said casually, mostly just trying to avoid starting a fight. She didn't want it to be on her if something bad came of this. Concepts for stuff, huh? Well, that was definitely very vague, but it also felt intentional, like maybe Cara didn't want to talk about it. Still, Kinsey wasn't sensing anything negative from her sister, so she decided to go out on a limb. "What kind of stuff?" she asked, taking a small step closer to her sister. A part of her wanted to sit with Cara as they talked, but she didn't know if that would upset Cara somehow. She never knew what to expect with her older sisters.

cara june bainbridge

[cara june bainbridge]

@kinsey

So this was what betraying her normal values was like. It was oddly uncomfortable. The fact that she knew exactly how she would have responded to Kinsey had she been studying instead of writing was scary. In a way, her younger sister was lucky that this was how she had found her. Any other time would have been just like usual. Cara simply nodded her head as Kinsey agreed that breaks were good. Hadn’t they had a disagreement about this a month back? She knew that this would come back to bite her eventually. All of this would be fuel for their never ending war of disagreements. At the same time, thinking that Kinsey would use it for malicious intent seemed wrong. She only wanted attention because of her ability, or at least that was Cara had always chalked it up to. Holding something like taking a study break over her head wouldn’t get the younger Bainbridge anywhere, aside from a scolding. Cara sighed, mostly at her ridiculous thought process that was currently going on. There was no reason to worry about something as stupid as this.

Kinsey went on to ask what kind of stuff she was working on. The specifics typically would have been none of her business, and that would have been the end of that particular conversation. Not today though. She would have found out about it eventually, considering graduation was just around the corner. “I’m working on concepts,” she repeated, “for a novel that I’m going to write after graduating.” That wasn’t as hard to say as she had initially made it out to be. The real question would be how Kinsey would react. Was it stupid to want to write? It was definitely different from what the rest of her classmates would be doing post-graduation. “Don’t laugh,” Cara said automatically, still unsure of what Kinsey would say.

[Deleted]

This entire conversation and situation seemed a bit surreal to Kinsey. She wasn't used to talking with her sister calmly and without a fight, but it was a nice change and not one that she wanted to mess up. Then again, Kinsey didn't know what would mess it up and what wouldn't. The truth was that, aside from Cara being bossy, Kinsey didn't know a lot about her older sister. A sad reality, but truthful nonetheless. Cara said she was working on concepts for a novel she was going to write and Kinsey's head tipped to the side. Cara wanted to write a novel? "I didn't know you liked to write that much," she spoke her thoughts out loud, then realized what she did and cleared her throat. "I mean, what kind of novel are you writing?" Kinsey asked, hoping her sister wouldn't take offense to her surprise that Cara would want to write a novel. She didn't mean it in any kind of negative way. She shook her head when Cara told her not to laugh. "I'm not laughing," she said, hoping Cara would take it as reassurance. She didn't laugh at people's dreams.

cara june bainbridge

[cara june bainbridge]

@kinsey

Of course Kinsey didn’t know that she liked to write. No one did except Diana, and maybe Dominic. That was just how things went. School had been more important at the time, so it took precedent. Writing and playing her ukulele only came when educational obligations were completed. Where had Kinsey been the last six years? That was all pretty obvious just by how Cara reacted to everything related to school. She wasn’t going to blame herself for not divulging that information to her sister, because if Kinsey had ever been intent on learning about her more, she would have gladly disclosed it. After they argued, because that was how it went. Cara decided to let this clear omission as well, not really wanting to ruin the mood that had been created. If she got pissed now, then the rest of the day would be ruined. Simple as that. “I don’t know yet…” she trailed off as she looked down at her pages of notes once again. This wasn’t the only notebook. There were dozens between her dorm and room back home. Each and every one filled with short stories and plans for potential novels. There was no difference between what she was currently working on, and what had been completed prior to today.

Cara stared up at her sister as she responded that she wasn’t laughing. That sounded…serious. But Cara knew better than to take something at face value. If Kinsey really didn’t laugh at the end of this, then she could trust her. “You’re allowed to. I know it’s stupid. Throwing away everything I learned here just to write stories that will never be successful.” She knew that was pretty cynical, but also realistic. As of right now, there wasn’t a fall back plan, so this was it.

[Deleted]

Kinsey nodded slowly when Cara said that she didn't know what she wanted to write yet. All right. Kinsey wasn't really a writer, but she imagined that it would be hard to come up with something that you wanted to write a book about. She liked reading them, of course, but she didn't think she was creative enough to actually write one. That was for people with more artistic gifts than hers. "Do you have a few ideas?" she asked curiously. Surely Cara would understand her curiosity. Kinsey was a Ravenclaw after all. She couldn't just accept the fact that her sister wanted to write without having any questions. "I mean, is that what you were doing here? Brainstorming?"

Kinsey shook her head when Cara said that she was allowed to laugh and that it was stupid. She pursed her lips, trying to decide what to say before she said it. She didn't want to do something that would offend her sister when things were going so well. "It's not stupid. Everyone should do things they're passionate about. Otherwise, they would be miserable." She smiled a little at her sister, "As much as we fight, I don't want that for you. I'm interested to see what you write." That was probably too sappy or something, but Kinsey couldn't help it. She wasn't quite sure what she wanted to do with her life yet, but she wanted it to be something she enjoyed. If someone were to laugh at her when she did make up her mind ... that would make things harder for her, which she didn't want.

cara june bainbridge

[cara june bainbridge]

@kinsey

So many questions! It wasn’t like Kinsey was being annoying by asking them, it was more that Cara didn’t really have the answers. Not yet, at least. She had barely scratched the surface of noting out this current story, and from there she would still have to go forward with developing plotlines, creating characters, and then actually writing the darn thing. For the few that she had managed to get relatively far into the developmental stages with, that time frame from the creation of the idea to writing the first page could be months, sometimes years. One short story she had finished during the previous semester was something she had been thinking of for years, but could never figure out a plot for. And then it came to her, just like that. Thus was her life as a writer. Kinsey’s question about the ideas she had for her novel fell without an answer. Cara didn’t know what to say to that. It was a yes and a no as far as she was concerned. Being this early into everything meant that anything was possible. “Yeah, something like brainstorming,” she finally answered after a few more moments of silence. There really wasn’t anything else to say than that. If he had a definite answer, she probably would have been able to give her sister a little more information.

Cara wasn’t sure if she agreed one-hundred percent with Kinsey’s feelings about her passion not being stupid. Wasn’t it though? There was absolutely no guarantee that she could even write a novel in the first place, and to follow up on that, proceed to sell enough copies to sustain herself. There were too many what-ifs, and very little assured results. She knew that was what she was going into, but that didn’t take away from the fact that it was kind of stupid to attempt such a precarious life style. Never knowing when success or failure would come was rather terrifying. “You and me both,” Cara said rather quietly when Kinsey stated that she was interested in seeing what was written. “Once I have something I think is semi-decent, I’ll let you know I guess. Merlin knows I’ll need to harsh criticism.”

[Deleted]

Cara admitted that she was doing something similar to brainstorming and Kinsey nodded, not really having anything else to say about that. She honestly knew nothing about writing novels and while she wanted to be supportive toward this not-bossy-and-overbearing Cara, she really didn't know how. Saying something like "you'll figure it out" would probably upset her older sister for some reason and Kinsey didn't want to break this tenuous hold they had on peace. She and Cara never got along this well and Kinsey kind of wanted to see if they could keep it for an entire conversation. She didn't want to do anything to it. 

Kinsey's eyebrows furrowed slightly at Cara's comment that she'd show Kinsey just because she needed harsh criticism. Really? Is that how she viewed Kinsey? Thinking over the past, Kinsey supposed she could understand that, seeing as how the two never really got along with one another, but from her side it was always Cara antagonizing first and then Kinsey would retaliate. Maybe that's not how her sister saw things. "I'd be happy to read it," Kinsey answered, not really knowing what else to say. "Do you want to start after graduation? Or when inspiration strikes?" Kinsey wasn't really a creative soul, so she couldn't begin to understand what writing a novel would entail. She might as well ask questions about it, since things seemed to be alright between them.

cara june bainbridge

[cara june bainbridge]

@kinsey

How would Kinsey answer? That was a common thought to go through her head whenever she was talking to her sister. Even now, where their conversation seemed to be on the positive end of the spectrum, Cara was still on edge. Any little comment could send it south. It had happened before, and it could happen again. Especially now, when they were talking about something that Cara wanted to do. Usually it was the reverse, where she was telling Kinsey what to do. Cara didn’t want to be on the defensive, and she was trying her hardest not to, even though it was ingrained in her. Just as she had been doing all throughout their conversation, Cara kept herself from devolving back to her normal mode. Kinsey had yet to do anything that warranted a scolding, and at most she was only being annoying because the older Bainbridge had yet to decide how to answer her questions. “You’ll have a chance eventually,” she finally responded. “Maybe…” There were so many what-ifs in the industry from what she understood, and so many chances where this could go horribly wrong. Assuming that even a successful first draft was made in the first place. “I’m actually trying to start right now,” she stated, staring down at her notes, “but that isn’t going anywhere.” From the plans that she had laid out, the best course of action seemed to be to sit and work on it as hard as possible through the holidays. After that she would need to get a part-time job, only to make it look like she was going somewhere with her life. A Ravenclaw becoming a failure wasn’t acceptable.

[OOC: ready to wrap so we can move to summer threads?]