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last online Apr 25, 2024 18:51:07 GMT -7
WIZARDING ADULT
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Nov 24, 2017 22:56:36 GMT -7
Post by cordelia regan smith on Nov 24, 2017 22:56:36 GMT -7
@lockhart So Mr. Lockhart wasn’t a magizoologist or a creature hunter of sorts during his time writing. Gilderoy’s explanation helped her somewhat understand, but it also didn’t seem like he was all that sure of it himself. That probably had to do with the fact that he said his father had lost his memory. That kind of sucked. There were times where her own father stared at the wall for extended periods while listening to Quidditch broadcasts. She was almost positive that memories and flashbacks were flooding in while he did that. From the sound of it, Gilderoy’s dad couldn’t even do that anymore. At least he still had the books to read from. They would give an idea of who he had once been, and who he could still be. Cordelia didn’t respond to the first statement, but decided that locating the books was a conversation she could continue to hold. Books were her second largest collection, behind photography equipment. “F-Flourish and Blotts has a l-large selection of o-old b-books still.” The last thing she wanted to do was take away Gilderoy’s copies, especially if those were the only things connecting his father to the past he couldn’t remember.
He kept asking if she liked anything else. Cordelia remained silent throughout it. There were llamas, of course. And her cat. But those were the kinds of things that were more personal to her, not the details she was going to be divulging to Gilderoy in the middle of the entrance hall. “M-Mystery books,” she said after thinking about it a little more. “And art.” The art club, while never really focusing heavily on photography, was still her home away from home. Everyone in it was nice to her, and seemed to understand that she liked to keep to herself.
Cordelia looked down at her feet as the conversation started to drift towards her stutter. She knew this was going to happen. Bringing it up on her own always jinxed it. Maybe Gilderoy was right about not actually wasting people’s time while she tried to talk, but she didn’t even want to get to the point where that was a possibility. As for speaking up, that was easier said than done. Not everyone could be the loud mouth, or the one to answer every question. She happened to be the opposite of both of those. Then he said it: the stutter was ‘cute’. She didn’t like that. “No it isn’t,” Cordelia stopped walking again. “Y-You d-don’t understand h-how hard it is t-to t-t-talk and-and that b-being c-called on in c-class m-m-makes it w-worse and ex-explaining anything t-takes t-twice as l-long.” She could hear her pulse beating in her ears. It was frustrating when someone who was so clearly versed with talking and gaining attention tried to tell her how to fix something that was never going to go away. “I h-hate it,” Cordelia said. “I-I know it’s a p-part of m-me, b-but I h-hate it.”
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last online Apr 26, 2024 17:33:47 GMT -7
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Nov 25, 2017 22:28:24 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Nov 25, 2017 22:28:24 GMT -7
Cordelia brought up the book store and it was possible they might still have a few copies of his father's books. Gilderoy had looked before being curious and didn't remember finding any but he just might not have been lucky in his search. "Probably somewhere I'd assume. If you don't find any like I said you can burrow some of mine." Gilderoy might have missed one of the copies but it wasn't like he hadn't memorized most of the pages already. Besides it was more important that someone genuinely curious could found out about his father if they wanted to. "It's been signed multiple times by him too but that's because he'll autograph anything you give him. Habit I guess and even with no memories those are hard to get rid of."
Gilderoy just smiled as Cordelia took her time but finally added some more things to what she liked. "See, like I said more than just two things." He replied with a small laugh while they walked. Sure it wasn't much he could relate to but that wasn't what he was looking for really. Gilderoy was just curious at his moment, it didn't help when the person didn't want to share either. He thought about asking more but he decided to leave it at that. Gilderoy was trying not to push her too much at the moment.
It took him a second to realized Cordelia had stopped walking as she spoke. As she did he stopped a few feet further and turned back. Gilderoy hadn't meant to annoy her with his comment about it being cute at time. It was but that was probably back when he thought it was because of him not before he realized it was just how she spoke. Yet It was obvious just how my it bothered her even without her saying how much she hated it. "You're right, I don't understand." Gilderoy paused, debating with himself if he should keep talking about her stutter as it bugged her this much. He still had more to say though. "Still I don't think you should have to be quiet just because of it. If you don't want to is one thing and I'm sure if you can ask a professor in private they might understand and call on you less. Yet if you're worried about taking extra time well people can just deal with it and learn to be patient." Gilderoy couldn't have imagined his spur of the moment conversation with Cordelia would have gone this way even if he had tried. "No one perfect, even if I've come pretty darn close to it. No need to hate our flaws it won't make them go away."
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last online Apr 25, 2024 18:51:07 GMT -7
WIZARDING ADULT
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Nov 29, 2017 22:06:15 GMT -7
Post by cordelia regan smith on Nov 29, 2017 22:06:15 GMT -7
@lockhart Cordelia wasn’t sure if she could actually borrow something that held that much value to it. While the physical value of the books that Mr. Lockhart had once written probably decreased drastically over the years, the emotional value of them had to be through the roof to everyone in that family. She knew that handing over her signed copy of Emilia Pond’s book (received from the meet and greet earlier in the year) was a huge no-no for more than one reason – the same had to have been said about the Lockhart books. There were certain things out there that simply couldn’t be lent out or purchased from someone. Autographed, sentimental copies of books were definitely one of those. “If I c-can’t find m-my own, I’ll l-let y-you know,” she said after thinking it over for a few more seconds. Obviously she was going to look intently first; she couldn’t go and take those books away from the Lockhart family.
Even if she did like more than two things, it wasn’t like they were that important to who she was. Most people either saw her as the girl with the camera, and outside of that, they just didn’t see her. If she were to be honest, she didn’t mind being invisible most of the time. There wasn’t much that she could speak about confidently outside of charms or photography, and with the latter, most of what she said went over other people’s heads. All they wanted to see were the ‘pretty pictures’ she was taking, and how they could that themselves. She was all for helping aspiring photographers, but not the ones that asked a million unimportant questions pertaining to how they could become a professional and make a living off of it. Cordelia was positive that even she couldn’t make a living from what she shot, and some even had the blessing of a real life author. There was no such thing as a sure career with photography, unfortunately.
She hated Gilderoy. Not because of who he was, even if he was slightly annoying and badgering her more than most people would, but because he was somewhat correct in his follow up about her class issues. Cordelia looked down at her feet as he talked, absorbing most of what he said. She knew all of that already. Every single word of it. That only made everything that much harder. Of course she wanted to get past her stutter and social awkwardness. Nobody wanted to be that person in class. But she was, even if she knew what she was talking about. Telling herself that what other people thought wasn’t important had never worked before, and she figured it wouldn’t in the future either. “D-Doesn’t change how I f-feel about it,” she mumbled before walking past Gilderoy, still intent on getting to the common room. She wasn’t sure if she was up for taking photos still. Typically it took her mind off her everyday problems. That decision would be made once they arrived though.
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last online Apr 26, 2024 17:33:47 GMT -7
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Dec 3, 2017 9:16:43 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2017 9:16:43 GMT -7
Cordelia explained again how she would look for herself first for his father's books. Gilderoy could only assume either she wanted to own her own copy or more likely just didn't feel comfortable burrowing them from him. Whatever the reason was he wasn't going to pry for the moment. It was just enough that someone else was interested in his father books. "Sounds good to me, just owl me sometime during the summer if you can't find one. We could make a day out of it, I'll bring you the book than we can go take photos of sights or something. Whatever it is you do like to take photos of." Gilderoy explained with a smile as he was serious about the offer but could only assume she would turn him down. Which was fine, he'd only feel bad about it being her loss after all. Time spend with him was always time well spent for other people. Gilderoy stood there being silent as Cordelia just looked at her feet. It wasn't like he was expecting anything to change right there and all the problems to be solved. Still he could only hope he hadn't pushed the girl to much in talking to her about her problems or made her mad. He genuinely wanted to help people, it wasn't completely just about getting his name out there and letting the world know how great he was. Even if that was a huge perk he was looking forward to one day. Cordelia muttered as she continued to walk once more going past him. He proceeded to walk behind her thinking of anything he could say. "There's nothing wrong with that either." Gilderoy explained with a shrug as he followed along. "Plenty of people have things they don't like about themselves. It's you're life, you can do whatever you want about it and it shouldn't matter what others think or care." Granted Gilderoy wasn't one of those people, he loved himself just the way he was. If anything he could always try and find a way to be an even greater person, somehow. "I don't mind your stutter one bit but that's only the second most important persons opinion on this matter, the most important one here would be you."cordelia regan smith
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last online Apr 25, 2024 18:51:07 GMT -7
WIZARDING ADULT
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Dec 7, 2017 22:15:22 GMT -7
Post by cordelia regan smith on Dec 7, 2017 22:15:22 GMT -7
@lockhart She wasn’t so sure about owling Gilderoy over the summer. Wouldn’t that disturb whatever he had planned? He was offering to bring it to her if she did so though, but that didn’t really fit with what she had been thinking. Preferably getting it at the start of the fall term was what she had in mind. That way she could read one or two of the books, and decide if she was going to invest any more time in the rest for the second term. That was usually how she went about with reading a series or multiple books from the same author (and sometimes even specific film directors if she felt compelled to do so). “I-I’ll think ab-about it. If I c-can’t find one on m-m-my own,” Cordelia repeated. She knew she was starting to sound like a broken record, but she didn’t really know what else to tell him. She was going to try and find Mr. Lockhart’s books, and if she couldn’t she might end up asking him in order to borrow a copy. What else was there to say about it?
As for making a day out the hand off, should it ever happen, Cordelia was unsure. Walking down a few floors with Gilderoy just to get her camera was already pretty exhausting; spending an entire day with him would probably put her in a socialization coma. “P-Probably b-buildings or something…” she responded rather quietly to his statement. How she went about getting those photographs was a different story. Straight on shots were fun, but also amateur. She had been eyeballing corners and turrets on the castle for the last few years, trying to figure out the best way to capture a building and still make it feel interesting. She was pretty sure she was close, but this summer would test that theory.
Cordelia knew that there was nothing wrong with what she had said. He didn’t need to keep hammering down on things that she already considered facts about herself. Gilderoy went on to say that it didn’t matter what others thought, but she didn’t like that answer because it didn’t change the fact that they were still thinking it. The only way to eliminate thoughts was to become invisible and disappear. Every time she had to talk up in class, that fantasy was shattered and the stuttering only became worse. Sometimes she wished she could control what they thought, or at least understood what she felt every time she had to stand up and practice a spell, or recite a passage from a book. “Wh-Why are y-you s-second?” she curiously asked as they entered the basement. Obviously what she thought about herself was the most important, but what made Gilderoy number two to that?
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last online Apr 26, 2024 17:33:47 GMT -7
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Dec 15, 2017 20:49:45 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2017 20:49:45 GMT -7
Cordelia explained how she would look for it still again and would think about owling him. Which was fine with him at this point at least another person was genuinely interested in his father's work as an adventurer and author. Gilderoy just smiled and nodded for a moment before speaking. "I'll be sure to tell my father someone is interested in his work. He won't remember what I'm talking about but it'll still make him happy I imagine." Gilderoy explained with a small laugh, he wasn't so much sad about it as much as just used to his father. He grew up with the man having no memories and while he wished it would change he knew it wouldn't. Just talking to his father made the man happy. Life with out any memories was very simple it seemed and he was happy most of the time because of it Gilderoy assumed.
"Buildings huh?" He paused after that, thinking about her answer. Buildings did seem a bit odd to him but who was he to judge here. He could suggest better things in his opinion, like himself, but this was her thing after all not his. "That could be interesting. Just make sure you don't get caught taking pictures of random people's houses or they think you're spying on them." Gilderoy attempted to make a joke, it was the only thing he could imagine but he supposed there were plenty other building than just homes. Castles like they were in for instance.
As they entered the basement floor Cordelia asked why he would be second. He thought to himself for a moment, why wouldn't he be? He was great after all and the whole world would know this one day. Sadly that day hadn't come yet, he would still have a lot more to prove till the rest of the world could realize just who he was. "Well everyone else's opinion is second and I'm part of everyone else, even if I'm the best part of the everyone else group." Gilderoy laughed as he attempted to explain what he had meant to Cordelia.
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last online Apr 25, 2024 18:51:07 GMT -7
WIZARDING ADULT
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Dec 25, 2017 21:51:50 GMT -7
Post by cordelia regan smith on Dec 25, 2017 21:51:50 GMT -7
@lockhart Cordelia felt a pang of guilt hit when Gilderoy said he would tell his father, even if he wouldn’t remember any of it. That was so sad. There was a difference between actually not knowing, in Mr. Lockhart’s case, and not knowing in her own father’s case. That being one had no idea and the other was just bad with muggle things and the hobbies that she was into. He always seemed to pull through in the end, but the fact that he didn’t understand the difference between a film and digital camera was baffling. Sometimes she wondered if his head was still up in the clouds from his professional Quidditch years. That or he took too many bludgers to the head. Either could do it really. Not knowing how to respond to Gilderoy’s comment though, Cordelia decided to nod her head a bit and continue to look down at her feet as they walked. This was one of those things where it was just easier not to say anything at all. She had no idea how to respond to that anyways. He didn’t sound like he wanted pity from her because it was something that would never be changed.
“Y-Yeah…buildings.” Or whatever caught her eye. There were millions of things out there. Capturing city life was a nice change of pace from what Hogwarts had to offer. Especially after shooting the same things over and over again for the last few years. She could only imagine how stale her photos would have looked had she gotten into photography before starting school here. “Why?” Cordelia said, surprised that Gilderoy would make a comment about getting caught for taking pictures. “Do p-people get m-mad at that?” She wasn’t sure if he was being serious or not. It was starting to become difficult to discern between the two with him sometimes.
Even though she could tell he was having fun being the ‘second most important opinion’ for her, it took her a second to fully understand what he was going on about. Usually when people said that, they meant it on a more personal level, right? But in his case he was saying it because he was a part of everyone else’s opinion as a group, and that was why. Hopefully she was understanding that correctly. “I-I think I understand?” Maybe. Possibly. He was confusing most of the time, so she knew she couldn’t take it personally.
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last online Apr 26, 2024 17:33:47 GMT -7
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Dec 27, 2017 20:48:33 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2017 20:48:33 GMT -7
Cordelia responded with repeating his words about it being building she was taking pictures of. Still not what he would have picked but it wasn’t his camera after all. “Any kind of buildings? Or just whatever seems interesting?” Gilderoy asked a little curious on how she was deciding what was worth taking pictures of and what wasn’t. As he commented about taking pictures of people’s homes she asked why and if people would be mad. “Well I’m sure they would be flattered if they knew you just wanted pictures of their house because you thought they looked interesting. Still some might thing you were trying to spy on them.” Gilderoy explained now a little regretting bringing it up but he wasn’t going to lie now. “Still it’s a cute girl taking the photos so I don’t see why anyone would think that. It’s not some weirdo doing it after all.”
They walked the basement and he knew the way himself anyway pretty much. He had followed and met Fiona down here enough times to know roughly where the Hufflepuff common room was. Even if Fiona had kept the exact location a secret. Cordelia sounded more like she was asking him when she attempted to confirm she knew what he was talking about. Still he wasn’t going to keep pressuring the girl or bringing this up now. This was all suppose to be a fun moment of taking pictures of himself or at least that’s how it was suppose to go in his head when he first thought about it. That had changed to just taking photos together and now bringing up her problems with her stutter. “Hey, I’m always interested in taking photos anytime if you want.” Gilderoy attempted to be nice and provide Cordelia and out of she just wanted to be alone after all this serious talk. “Yet if you want to do this some other time that’s alright with me. I didn’t even think if I was keeping you from something.”
cordelia regan smith
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last online Apr 25, 2024 18:51:07 GMT -7
WIZARDING ADULT
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Dec 29, 2017 22:47:04 GMT -7
Post by cordelia regan smith on Dec 29, 2017 22:47:04 GMT -7
@lockhart They were staying on the buildings part it seemed. That was fine. She could talk about the million and one reasons she liked looking at them through her lens, and how they were more interesting than human subjects were. That opinion always caught some odd glares and shaking heads from other photographers. She knew that portraits were an easy go to for most, but they were so boring. Buildings didn’t move and she could shoot them from virtually anywhere she could put herself. People talked back, and that only distracted her from her work. “I l-like the arch-architecture. S-Squares and-and ge-geometry m-make for interesting p-patterns.” The more time and effort put into an important building, the more likely she was going to find herself standing across from it snapping away. Plus, buildings looked pretty damn cool in black and white. “B-But anything that s-seems interesting w-works too…” Cordelia added quickly. If the Hufflepuff found something she liked, then obviously she was going to take a few photos. Sometimes that produced the most realistic, un-doctored image possible. She was a huge fan of photojournalism and street photography, but still couldn’t comprehend why someone would be upset that she found them or their house an interesting enough subject for a photo. Gilderoy went on to explain that he was sure it would never be an issue with her taking the photos, Cordelia ignoring him calling her cute again, but saying that a weirdo would probably be called out for it. “S-So you think it w-would be d-different if you to-took them instead of m-me?”
Only a few more turns separated them from the Hufflepuff common room. She wasn’t sure exactly how secret it was from other students, though she did know it could be difficult for the other houses to get inside. The Hufflepuffs would probably be glad if she kept Gilderoy out. Not that he was a bad person – it just proved to be difficult to get such a chatty person away sometimes. She stopped walking as he said that they could always take the photographs another time. That would solve her current dilemma of trying to figure out what to take pictures of, since forcing herself into it never worked. If she wasn’t feeling it, nothing good would come out of the session. “C-Could we?” she said after thinking it over for a few seconds. “M-Maybe when I p-pick up the b-books over the summer?” That sounded good to her. She was more apt to come up with better places to shoot pictures at than say the Astronomy tower or the edge of the forest. Those were starting to get boring.
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last online Apr 26, 2024 17:33:47 GMT -7
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Jan 5, 2018 20:44:22 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jan 5, 2018 20:44:22 GMT -7
“That makes sense I guess, there are plenty of interesting buildings out there.” Gilderoy replied thinking about it a little. If buildings were what she wanted to take photos of that was what she should do and she did make them sound a little interesting. Not as interesting as himself but interesting enough to be worthy of a few photos. “I’m sure they make wonderful photos.” He added while she asked what he meant about people wondering why she was taking photos of their homes. He momentarily laughed as she suggested it would be different if he took the photos instead of her. “Possibly. People are more likely to assume a guy, even a handsome guy, might be up to something than a cute girl.” That was just the truth of the world. No matter how amazing he could be he was still a stranger and people would assume worse of a male stranger than a female one normally.
As they walked the dungeon it was was very familiar to him. The turns and the scenery, sure it was all depressing looking stone to him but they were familiar none the less. After he said they could do this some other time Cordelia agreed. He wasn’t surprised with that response. The mood did seem to be a little destroyed with talking about her stutter after all. “Yeah that sounds like fun. I’m sure there are plenty of interesting building around London. If not I’m sure they could be more interesting with me around anyway.” Gilderoy replied with a smirk as he stopped walking. He’d let Cordelia make her way from here just in case the Hufflepuffs were actually that determined to keep the location of their common room a secret. “Just owl me some time this summer when your up for it or I’ll owl you to remind you. Anyway it was good talking to you Cordelia, I’ll see you around.” With a big smile and a wave he let the girl get back to what she wanted to. What he would do with the rest of his day he didn't know but like him it was bound to be amazing.
(End? or you can post again.)
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