beginnings [aaron]

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Jamie Greyback was a Hogwarts graduate, and she had already cried a non-zero amount of times on her graduation day. She hadn't expected things to go the way they had, and trying to come to terms withe everything was not easy, to say the least. She had already talked to her sister, which had definitely changed her perspective on the future, if nothing else, but Jamie had also seen her brother in the crowd, and... she didn't know what to think. Aaron had just disappeared, and now he was back, and Jamie, again, wasn't sure how she felt about it. She didn't like it when people left, but in some ways it was even worse when they came back again, because it meant they acknowledged that leaving the first time was wrong. Even though it had taken Jamie a while to extricate herself from her conversation with Odette (mostly because she hadn't really wanted to leave), she was on her way to finding Aaron in the thinning crowd. Most of the students and their families were departing for graduation lunches or to finish last-minute packing, which meant that it should have been easier for Jamie to find her brother in the crowd... except it wasn't. Jamie couldn't see Aaron anywhere.

@aaron

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Graduation should have been a joyous time. It should have been a moment of shining pride for Aaron as he watched his sister graduate. But it wasn't. It was far from that. Aaron had stood as far in the back as he could while Jamie received her diploma, with just enough space to watch her walk down the aisle. He didn't want to be seen. He wasn't ready. He couldn't handle it. He..he was a coward. When the ceremony was finally over, Aaron began dodging Jamie, trying to figure out what he was supposed to say. "Sorry I abandoned you. How about lunch?" But as the families began to disperse, Aaron realized that his tip-toeing was coming to an end. He had to face Jamie like a man....and it scared the hell out of him. Finally, taking a deep breath, he carefully strolled up behind the young blonde and murmured, "You did good, kid." He then braced himself for the harsh word or slap he knew was inevitably coming.

@jamie

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Jamie wasn’t prepared for the voice behind her, so when Aaron spoke, she almost did slap him – but not because she was angry. She was just easily startled, a reflex that had become even more pronounced since the explosion. It took Jamie longer than it should’ve to register who had spoken. She hadn’t heard Aaron’s voice in so long, and it had become almost like a stranger’s to her. After a moment in which she registered who was standing in front of her (and that she had just been looking for him), Jamie looked down at her feet. She wasn’t sure that she had “done good”, like her brother had said. She was the oldest of the kids at Hogwarts – or had been – and as a part of that she had expected herself to keep all of her siblings safe, even Elias. She had failed, and even though Jamie knew that there was no way she could have predicted the explosions, she still felt that failure. “Thanks.” She muttered. “And thanks for coming.” Jamie wished that she could say that she had never doubted Aaron’s attendance at her graduation, but after the year they’d had… everything was changing.

@aaron

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Aaron stood there awkwardly, shifting from one foot to the other, trying to think of something, anything, to say to make this meeting less awkward. But there simply wasn't. He had messed up, he knew. All the apologies in the world couldn't make his cowardice any better. He wanted to wrap Jamie in his arms and make a million promises to never leave again, but he felt that slap was still waiting for him at some point. So he just stood there, looking at his little sister who wasn't so little anymore. Tears welled in his eyes even as he promised himself he wouldn't cry. He had gotten very good at breaking promises. "I..." he trailed off, trying to find the words to say. He clenched at unclenched his fists as his mouth worked itself, trying to make words.

"I'm sorry!" he blurted out, loud enough that some lingering people turned their heads at him. He stared at his feet, trembling. "I'm so sorry. I never should've left. I should've been here for you and for Max and for..." he trailed off again, unable to say Elias's name aloud. The wound was still too fresh and, like his scars, he would carry it for the rest of his life. "I don't know what else to say," he admitted. "Can you ever forgive me?"

@jamie

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Jamie couldn’t really see her brother’s nerves – she was still staring at the ground like it was the most interesting thing in the world – but she could feel them rolling off of him in waves, and in her peripheral vision she could see him shifting from one side to another. Aaron began to speak, and then stopped himself. Jamie couldn’t blame him. This wasn’t an easy conversation to have, but Jamie felt an odd sort of detachment from it all, like she just couldn’t muster the energy to be upset. At least Aaron had come back, and compared to Adrian, who was still across the ocean, and Elias, who was gone, leaving and returning seemed like a minor sin.

Jamie’s head snapped up at the suddenness of her brother’s exclamation of apology. She had known it was coming, but she hadn’t expected it to be so… violent. “Max and I weren’t the ones who needed you. Elias didn’t, either.” Jamie managed to say. It was difficult for her to be angry for her own sake, but Odette… Odette could’ve used someone to help her through everything that had happened in her life, and even though Jamie had tried, she knew there was no feeling in the world that compared with having someone older than you tell you that you were going to be alright. “Forgiveness isn’t something you have to earn by saying the right things, Aaron.” Jamie told her brother gently, reaching her hand out for him. “You came back. For now, that’s enough.” Eventually, Jamie would expect more of him, but right now his presence would suffice.

@aaron

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The young man looked down at his feet as Jamie spoke. Her voice sounded so cold, nothing like the light-hearted lilt he had come to know. That could be for many reasons, of course. After all, her graduation was being held prematurely due to a terrorist attack and the death of several foreign students. But Aaron felt like the sharp edge to her voice was his fault. He forced her to grow up too soon. Even if she could forgive him, he could never forgive himself for that. "I won't leave again. I promise," he swore. They were just words, of course. But he hoped he could force every ounce of honesty he had into them. He needed Jamie to believe him. He needed her to be his little sister again.

"I screwed up," he finally admitted. "I thought I was protecting all of you by leaving. But all I've done is louse things up. I know I can't fix things overnight, but I want to try. I owe it to all of you." And he meant those words. The pain and anguish behind them was all too real, and he would spend the rest of his life atoning for his sins if he needed to. But in this moment, all he needed was for Jamie to believe him.

@jamie

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Jamie’s first inclination was to snap at Aaron not to make promises that he couldn’t keep. Even if he didn’t want to go away again, there were a thousand reasons why he might be forced to – and their father was only one of those many reasons. She couldn’t do that, though, not when Aaron was trying his best to reconcile. Jamie was never good at turning people away, and that was even more pronounced when those people were her family. Aaron continued to explain that he thought that he was protecting all of his siblings by leaving, and Jamie sighed a little. Why was that always the explanation – why did people always think that leaving was the best choice, when it was obvious that they were stronger when they were together? “Take it one day at a time, Aaron.” Jamie advised her brother. He was right in saying that he couldn't fix things overnight, but fixing didn't have to come in grand gestures or big speeches. It would happen all on its own. “I can’t speak for the others, but you can start fixing things by giving me a hug.” Jamie said, opening her arms. She had, after all, just graduated from Hogwarts – that warranted a hug, even if a celebration was impossible due to the extenuating circumstances.

@aaron

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Aaron waited for Jamie to respond, still expecting her to lash out at him or tell him what a coward he was. He would've accepted that as gracefully as possible because he knew it was what he deserved. He deserved that and the slap he was still waiting on. But as he stared at Jamie and saw her arms open for a hug, he made a choking sound in the back of his throat as he tried to hold back tears. He cleared his throat and tried not to seem to eager as he wrapped his arms around Jamie's thin frame. He wanted that moment to last forever, that moment where it was just him and his little sister and everyone else in the world faded away to nothingness. He squeezed gently, resting his chin on top of her head to get as close as possible. He gently kissed the top of her head, just as his mother had done to him all those years ago. No, he couldn't fix things overnight, but he wouldn't rest until he had righted all of his wrongs.

Aaron pulled away, holding Jamie at shoulder length so he could look at her clearly. He tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear and nodded, still trying to hold his emotion in. "Thank you," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

@jamie

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Hugging her siblings was definitely becoming a favorite pastime of Jamie’s, and while this hug was different from the one that she had given Odette – it was less frantic, and a touch more awkward – Jamie leaned into it nonetheless, enjoying the physical contact and the momentary sensation that everything was going to be alright. Jamie had forgotten how much taller than her Aaron was, but remembered when his body enveloped hers, his chin resting easily on top of her head. It was… nice. That was a weak word, not nearly big enough to encompass every emotion that was rushing through the Hufflepuff at that moment, but it was close enough to the truth that Jamie didn’t mind its weakness.

When Aaron pulled away, Jamie blinked at her brother, unsure that she was supposed to say now. There was a lot that he had missed out on, but a graduation didn’t seem to be the right time for a history lesson. Aaron broke the silence by thanking her, and Jamie smiled softly at him. “Forgiveness has always been my strongest suit.” She was going to need it, too, because eventually, Jamie was going to need to forgive herself, for her lack of relationship with Elias and his subsequent death. Still, beginning by letting her other brother back into her life didn’t seem like a bad way to start.

@aaron

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Aaron breathed a sigh of relief when Jamie admitted that forgiveness was one of her strong suits. "Well, it's a damn good thing," he said, feeling the weight dropping off of his shoulders. If she could forgive him, maybe the others could, too. Then, maybe, he could start to forgive himself. He began to shuffle awkwardly again, leaning from one foot to the other. Finally, he said, "Why don't we go find Max and go out to eat? Anywhere you want, my treat. Or maybe just me and you," He wasn't made of money, but it was the least he could do to begin making amends. He would enjoy seeing Max again as well after their disastrous last meeting. He was glad it spurred her on to do something for Elias, but he was still ashamed of the conditions he was living in. But he would be just as happy spending the alone time with Jamie and catching up on everything he had missed.

@jamie

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Jamie smiled when Aaron said that it was a good thing – no, a damn good thing – that she was so good at forgiveness. It wasn’t something that had been easy to come across, but consciously choosing to forgive people had done wonders for Jamie’s mental state in the past year, and she wondered if it would be just as easy for others to do if they just chose it. Aaron suggested finding Max and going out to eat as a celebration of her graduation – or at least, that was what Jamie assumed it was for – and the ex-Hufflepuff considered it a moment. “I don’t know if Max is around. But I did see Odette earlier…” Jamie trailed off. She knew that both of her other sisters would want to see that their brother was back, but she also wanted him to herself, just for a little bit. It was her graduation day, after all. “Is it selfish that I want it to be just us two?” Jamie asked, voice small as she waited for Aaron’s judgement.

@aaron

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Aaron raised an eyebrow as Jamie mentioned Odette. Truth be told, the only time he had ever seen her had been when they were all in the hospital wing hovering over Max after the girl's attempted suicide. He felt bad for never really trying to get to know the second oldest Greyback, but at least she didn't have to miss him when he ran away to Brazil. Maybe he had saved her from that. Jamie spoke again, and Aaron looked at her, once again seeing the young girl he had first gotten to know when he arrived in Great Britain. He put a comforting arm around her shoulder, and said quietly, "Not at all. Just the two of us, then." And that was okay. It was Jamie's special day, and if that was what she wanted, it's what she would get. "Come on, kid. Let's get out of here," he said with a smile, walking toward the entrance to the Great Hall.

@jamie
OOC: end?