Someday Never Comes [Will]

[lily luna potter]

@will

Home didn’t feel like home anymore. Lily knew it was going to be like that before even stepping through the threshold. Being able to openly exhibit her emotions around the rest of the family was easier while in the house, but she was starting to get sick of it now. The atmosphere was dead and stagnant, and while that wasn’t any of their faults, it was still happening. She hated being cooped up in general, but this was on a whole new level. The normal need to get out and run because she was shaking with energy was gone; replaced by the want to clear her head and be away from it all. It was easier to forget when she wasn’t around all of it 24/7. Seeing as there were no leads to where her father could have gone, Lily had almost given up hope. A person didn’t up and disappear like that without leaving any leads. Her brain had come up with fantastically horrible scenarios in which dark wizards had finally caught up to the great Harry Potter and disposed of him in any number of ways. Those haunting dreams and the constant negative emotions had been replaced with melancholy. Sometimes it was worth it to let it all out, sometimes it wasn’t.

Because of all of these emotions and feelings that she couldn’t really understand, Lily had already taken to enjoying the few spare moments she could get outside of the house. Tonight she had managed to slip out of her bedroom window without setting all of the human-detection spells off – her professors could never complain about her magical prowess again after that feat. It was pouring out, but she hardly noticed. That would just be another problem she really didn’t want to deal with right now. Disapparating once she was out of ear-shot of any possible magical residences, Lily popped up in an alleyway somewhere in London, and probably close to Diagon Alley. She wasn’t interested in going to the shopping district at this time of night, but keeping in the vicinity would be safer than wandering around aimlessly. The presence of muggles in the London streets was also comforting. She didn’t care about them, and they didn’t care about her. Being another nameless face in the crowd was nice for once. Shoving her hands in her jacket pockets, she headed down a semi-crowded street, weaving in and out of people. A few that she accidentally bumped into seemed annoyed, but that was their fault for walking slow and taking up most of the walkway. Eventually she found herself at a crowded entrance to a shopping mall, and that was where she slowed down. “Excuse me,” she said forcefully as she tried to push by a taller man that was on the edge of the crowd. She didn’t have time to go around this mess.

[Deleted]

William was at the mall at a kids bookstore... reading books to children. That happened sometimes when you were part of the royal family. He had been invited there many times, especially since his family had frequented the store when they were younger. He had just finished one of those evenings when he was headed out the front. The cameras had faded back into the rest of the crowd and were still talking to the kids at the bookstore, so he had a good shot at getting out unnoticed. He was almost free of the crowd when he saw familiar red hair up ahead pushing by people. There were a lot of redheads in the world, sure, but none of them carried themselves quite like this one.

"Lily!" he called, only having to push past a few people before he reached her and tried to catch her hand with his. "Fancy a drink?" of course he wouldn't give Lily Potter an alcoholic drink.... but a little sugary something would do her some good. There were very few reasons why teenagers wandered alone at night and one of them was definitely depression. What happened with her dad... well, he wouldn't be surprised if this girl was falling apart. He lost a father when he was only fourteen. If anyone could relate...

lily luna potter

[lily luna potter]

@will

Despite hearing her name called, Lily didn’t turn around to see the person that was attached to the voice. That could have been for any number of Lilys out there, or maybe she had misheard it. The last thing she wanted right now was to be stopped by someone that was out looking for her or trying to stop her from doing whatever it was that this was called. It wasn’t being rebellious, because she could do that on her own at any point in time she pleased. This was being irrational and stupid, and she didn’t need someone else telling her that right now. So, she continued to push past the people in the crowd as best as her little body would let her. While she was definitely strong enough now to make people move if she wanted them to, doing that to muggles was like yelling at a dog for doing something wrong. Being the bad guy right now was too much effort.

Then a hand grabbed onto hers as she was trying to squeeze out the opposite side of the crowd. It was her that the mysterious voice had been calling for. She whipped around to tell the person off, only to stop before she even started. The first name that crossed her mind when she saw the man’s face was Edmund, but this was his older brother, Will. She should have known it was him immediately, having spent several years in the same common room and all that. Lately though, Edmund’s face had been a target of observation, especially with the game she had played with him in the abandoned classroom. Will would probably find that funny, seeing as his brother had no idea what he was doing the entire time. Or almost the entire time. “I uhh…” Lily was at a loss for words as he asked her if she wanted to go get a drink. “Why?”

[Deleted]

She tried to pull away at first but then turned to face him. He waited for her to speak, and she ended up asking why. "You could use it. Come on," he took another step toward her, keeping her hand in his close beside him as he started to navigate out of the crowd until they were freed. "I know a good restaurant near here," he suggested. He didn't exactly wait for her to agree, just started to guide her along by the hand. He remembered when his father died, he had been the one to lead his sisters and his mother through it. He didn't have anyone holding his hand telling him everything was going to be okay, and he was fine with that. It wasn't his role, he knew that. He was the brave one, the strong one, the one who took care of everyone else. He liked being that person, and if he could be that person for Lily Potter now then that was fine, too.

The place wasn't far, and when they arrived the hostess recognized him and took them to his usual table, in the back and mostly out of site of other people. He finally released her hand to pull out a chair for her.

lily luna potter

[lily luna potter]

@will

She wasn’t going to win this that much was obvious. Will had a pretty solid grip on her hand, and knowing him, he wouldn’t let go until he was satisfied with the answers or actions he expected out of her. He said she looked like she could use it. A drink. Did she really look that bad? Looking in the mirror lately hadn’t really been on her list of things to do, because that only reminded her that things were falling apart around her. Lily let her arm go limp, deciding that it wasn’t worth fighting against him. Will only ever had the best intentions anyways. She had seen the way he acted around his siblings while he was still in school. At times she had wished that James and Al were the same way with her, but she also knew that she was the other half to that equation. Normally things weren’t like the way they were now. Normally she wasn’t bothered by anything. She clearly didn’t deserve to have anything normal in her life anymore, and for the first time it wasn’t because of her own actions.

Following Will’s guidance, she put one foot in front of the other, often times having to speed up and match his steps. She didn’t want to make eye contact with him. That meant acknowledging that she needed help. Every time that happened as of late, it was like the flood gates opened and everything came pouring out of her. The last thing she wanted to do was bring that kind of burden on him in public. He still had an image to maintain on the muggle side of things.

They arrived at the restaurant and she gave the hostess a weak smile after they received their table. Will let go of her hand and pulled her chair out. Lily practically fell into it, having not realized how much she had been dragging her feet on their way there. It was exhausting trying to fight everything at once. “…thanks,” she said after a few seconds of silence.

[Deleted]

She thanked him after she landed in the chair, and he moved to sit beside her instead of across. He turned toward her, placing his arm on the back of her chair. "What do you want to eat? It's pretty cool, we just order from this tablet here," he said, gesturing to the electronic tablet on the table. He lifted his finger to swipe it and it showed a menu. "They have pretty much anything you could think of. Maybe... fries?" he knew that when he was feeling bad he mostly just wanted stuff that was greasy and bad for him. That kind of food always had a way of making you feel better. This place wasn't incredibly fancy so it had pretty much anything she could want... though, he also was concerned that he wasn't eating. Lucy went through a phase like that after their dad died, he wouldn't be surprised if Lily was doing that, too. Though, he really hoped she wasn't that was always hard to get passed as the person trying to help.

lily luna potter

[lily luna potter]

@will

Lily expected Will to sit across from her, because that was what normal people did while in a restaurant, but instead he sat next to her. Again, normally she would have thought that was hilarious and taken advantage of it, poking fun at him about how this would look to paparazzi. Instead she felt like pulling away, just like she had when he took her hand in the crowd earlier. Like earlier though, she didn’t reel away, instead accepting that Will was doing what he thought was best for her. Whatever that meant anymore. Adrian had thought it was best for him to leave, and so had her dad.

Will mentioned eating, and he put a tablet in front of her, showing her how to use it. Lily smiled weakly at it. Who needed house elves when you could order off of a piece of technology? Muggles had their own kind of magic after all. Will brought up maybe getting fries, and she reached forward to take hold of it, flipping through the digital pages of the menu. While she wasn’t technically hungry, having eaten some dinner earlier, passing up food would show that she was having issues. She wanted to stop being weak like that. To stop feeling like this all the time, and to go back to the way she was. Or at least say screw it all and do whatever she wanted to do without an actual care in the world. That wasn’t to be confused with how she normally was, because at least that had some oversight, some rules to stop her from going too crazy. Not caring about anything would definitely make it easier the next time someone decided to up and leave her with little to no explanation. Because doing all of this again would just kill another piece of her.

Flipping back and forth through the pages, she stopped on a burger. “How do I pick it?” she asked, pushing the tablet in front of Will again. Burgers always made things better, even if they didn’t actually have an effect on whether or not Harry Potter decided to come back to his family ever again.

[Deleted]

Lily smiled sightly at the tablet and Will smiled, too, but turned toward the tablet so he wouldn't be annoying smiling at her. She looked at it, moving through the pages with her finger and he watched in silence. She stopped on a burger, asking how to order it and he pointed at a little star icon in the corner, "just tap that, and then it'll add it to our order, and when we're done I'll just select the 'close order' right there," he pointed at another button on the screen, but didn't select anything for her, so she could do it herself. "You should get a drink, too. They had a lot of good fruity drinks here that I think you'd like," he said, turning the tablet toward her a little more, "there's a pineapple guava juice that has a bit of a kick, just like you," he nudged her knee with his under the table, since he couldn't elbow her due to having his arm around her. He hated seeing her this way, but knew that telling her to 'stop' or that she 'didn't have to' feel so bad was not a good idea, either. She had every right to feel bad.

lily luna potter

[lily luna potter]

@will

Will explained how to order, and Lily watched his finger point to the correct area on the screen. That was oddly simple. She should have known that it was easy. Apparently it was idiot proof today though. Her final grades from this past term reflected on it. Flipping through the pages on it again to make sure she was making the right choice, Lily eventually made it back to the burger she had chosen earlier and hit the little star that was above it. Will added that she could get a drink as well, and that only served to extend the entire process. Pressing on the tab that differentiated between food categories, she immediately brought herself to the beverages and began her search once again. There were quite a few things on there she wanted, but couldn’t have – alcohol being the one thing her mum would kill her for if she came home stumbling drunk. Still, she found herself hanging over the page much longer than the rest. One more year was all she had needed. Then at least she would have been able to forget about some things for a few hours.

Her finger found its way to the pineapple drink-thing Will was talking about, and she hovered over the star there. A kick just like her, huh? She didn’t really feel kicky at the moment, or even close to her typical self. “I’ll pass,” she said as she handed the tablet back to him. Water would do since her choice of a more adult drink wouldn’t be possible tonight. Obviously she could simply zap her ID to say 18, or Will could technically buy it for her since he was a legal adult, but she figured both of those would be frowned on by more than one party.

[Deleted]

Will frowned as she said she would pass on the drink. "Lily..." he said softly. His hand from the back of her chair moved to rest on her shoulder instead, "what do you really want?" okay, okay, he knew she wanted alcohol. He was a serious and rule following individual but... maybe he could just let her have one drink and she could come home with him instead of going back to the Potter house. He'd feel better looking after her himself. But, he also knew he probably shouldn't let her, either. But the kid was going through so much and, well, Will couldn't deny that he occasionally had a drink when he was feeling down, or even when he was feeling up. Drinking alone was dangerous and stupid, but he was there, wasn't he? It was better for her to get into this kind of stuff with him around then sneak off on her own and do it. If he ever became a parent, he'd rather his kids try alcohol under his own roof then sneak off because they were afraid of him getting mad. He didn't like the idea of Lily drinking with anyone else, to be honest. At least not people who wouldn't look after her.

lily luna potter

[lily luna potter]

@will

Will’s question wasn’t supposed to have a double meaning, but that was the way her head interpreted it. Yeah, she was basically saying with her actions that she wanted booze. She had it once or twice on accident, only realizing it much later, and the few times she had managed to get her hands on it, it always chilled her out. That and she wanted to forget everything right now. That seemed easier than having her mind constantly going and going. She didn’t think that was too much to ask for, considering. The other side of her brain was sending off a different answer to Will’s question though. What she really wanted was for her dad to still be here. And for Adrian to be back. And for people to stop dying. It was all a waste and she hated it. If things could be taken away that easily, what was the point in trying or caring? Lily knew she wouldn’t find the answer, and Will wasn’t the person to ask for help on that, but being where she was right now was kind of a step in the right direction of not giving a damn anymore. If she had cared, she wouldn’t have jumped out of her window and come to London.

While she was debating how to answer, Will had moved his arm to from the back of her chair to her shoulder. Lily leaned her head against it, staring up at the ceiling. “Am I stupid for wanting to forget about it all for a few hours?” she said after a few seconds. It was up to Will to decide on that. She couldn’t hit the button to buy alcohol, and he was the only one legally old enough to order it for her. If he thought it was in her best interests to not drink, she would be fine with that. At the same time, drinking it all away sounded like would help right now too.

[Deleted]

Lily leaned her head back against his arm and he sighed, looking back at the menu. "How about this. For now, you enjoy the food and drink water," he started, "then, after dinner we can go back to my house, where it's safe, and you can drink what you want," what she wanted, not how much she wanted. He felt like this was a good compromise but he wasn't sure if she would agree to it. It was worth a shot, though.

He waited for her to answer before selecting his own food and closing the order. Either way, she wasn't drinking alcohol at this restaurant. If she didn't want to come over to the Windsor Castle tonight then maybe he could walk her home. Either way, he wasn't going to let her go somewhere else to drink.

lily luna potter

[lily luna potter]

@will

Her head flipped from looking up at the ceiling over to Will as he said she should have water. Hadn’t he just asked her what she wanted? And now he was basically telling her no? Lily’s brain was jumping to inaccurate conclusions before he even had a chance to elaborate, as he followed up saying that they could eat, and then if she really wanted to drink, she could do it at his place. She moved her head back to its original position, staring up at the ceiling, as she thought it through a little longer. She knew it was because he wanted to keep her under control, and while that was easy enough in public by not buying more drinks, if anything got ugly (her emotions for one), then it would be better at his place than in the middle of a muggle restaurant. Letting out a sigh, she nodded her head. “Careful,” she smiled weakly at him. “Might give a girl the wrong impression.” There was the old spark. It had shown itself a few times throughout her frustrated whatever this was. It came and went though, usually only making an appearance through forced conversation that she didn’t want to have. This one was more natural, and only because Will had set himself up for it. She wasn’t in the mood for doing the setting up as much as she used to. That required time and effort that would take away from her trying to figure out other things. “Water is fine for now,” she finally relented, in case it hadn’t already been made clear.

[Deleted]

Careful, she said, and Will smiled at that weak smile she gave him. He chuckled at her words and shrugged, "or the right one," he countered, teasing. There was a little burst of that old Lily, the one underneath all this grief. If flirting and joking around with her could help give her a few moments of relief from the pain, he'd do it. She said water was fine for now, which he had guessed, and he nodded.

The order was all put in and he turned back to look at her, pushing the screen away from them again with his free hand. "So, have you talked to my brother at all lately? He could use a good influence," and by good he meant carefree, wild and a little crazy. That would be nice. He had that Addilyn girl he hung out with a lot, but she wasn't even close to Lily in the sense that she could potentially loosen Ed up. As far as will knew.

lily luna potter

[lily luna potter]

@will

A laugh popped out of her as Will said that maybe he was giving the right impression. She needed that more than she realized. The little jokes and prods towards inappropriate things were what had displaced all of her other woes prior to any of this. The only problem was that they didn’t last nearly as long as they used to, the lasting impact wearing off and leaving her with nothing to follow up with. The emptiness was what scared her more than anything. Still, she managed to keep the little smile going because it seemed to make her feel better for the time being – and she would keep it up even if she wasn’t feeling it anymore, just to satiate Will’s need to help her. She didn’t want him to think he was obligated to help her with everything. That wouldn’t be fair of her to do to him.

He asked if she had talked to Edmund lately, and she felt her face redden just a bit, thinking back on the time she had pestered him until he kissed her. Or had she kissed him first jokingly? There were too many instances of that with too many people that they all blurred together now. Those things weren’t nearly as normal anymore, so that would explain the slight embarrassment from it. She looked away from him to hopefully hide to blush until it was gone, unsure if Will had seen it already. “Might have before school ended,” she stated slowly. “He does seem out there sometimes. Lots of thinking up here.” Here being his head, Lily tapping her own head to show what she meant. “I think he already has a good influence though. He just doesn’t realize it. Makes me kind of jealous.” She meant Will, of course. It would be hard to ignore the things that he did as the oldest Windsor. Everything was impressive. Ed striving to be like that, or at least be the best person he could be like Will seemed to do, made sense to her.