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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2019 5:56:34 GMT -7
Learning how to use occlumens was not as easy task for Harry and at his first attempt he never actually mastered it. He remembered what it was like, sitting there in that horrible office in the dungeons of Hogwarts, learning from a man that at the time he hated more than anyone else. Dumbledore really thought that he would succeed in that kind of toxic environment?
But, after Sirius's death Harry realized that occlumens was a better thing than he let himself believe before. He didn't work on it that hard while dealing with Voldemort those next two years, though. Heaven knows he had a lot to focus on.
But upon leaving Hogwarts officially and being accepted into the Auror program Harry finally started to study it again - this time under teachers that he felt much more comfortable with.
He actually felt like he had to start over because his past experience with it was tainted and unusable. He tried to go from scratch.
Every time the legilimens helping in his lessons entered his mind Harry relieved some horrible, horrible things. He saw his parents deaths again, he saw Cedrics death, Franks death, Sirius... the first step Harry took to practice the art was to start directing the mental attacks toward happier memories. That made him more aware of when it was happening and so, slowly, he could sense when someone was trying to intrude in order to close them off.
Eventually, he was finally able to close his mind. Like putting a protective wall over his brain - but over the years he's a tempted to try making that wall a little bit sheer so he could at least see what the mind readers were reaching for. It's a work in progress, but if he can manage it then he would revolutionize the ability... but, alas, it's not an easy thing to experiment with.