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last online Apr 20, 2024 1:10:30 GMT -7
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Jul 23, 2019 21:02:03 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 23, 2019 21:02:03 GMT -7
The girl was so quiet. It was a little disturbing honestly, but Mazie was trying to ignore that. She was trying to think positively of the girl and think of ways she might be able to help her. It was hard when she didn't know what all was going on with her, but Mazie wasn't going to bother her. When Mazie offered to help her, the girl thanked her and Mazie nodded. That was fine. She didn't need Chrissy to say anything else, though she wasn't entirely convinced if Chrissy would come to her if she needed something. Her eyebrows furrowed when the girl spoke again. "If you do something weird? What kind of weird?" Mazie wasn't trying to pry, but really? What the girl was saying was just making her curious, even though Mazie wasn't the type of person to take other people's actions personally in the first place. She kind of didn't care what other people did or said, as a general rule. @chrissy
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last online Apr 20, 2024 1:10:30 GMT -7
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Jul 23, 2019 21:35:16 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 23, 2019 21:35:16 GMT -7
December 30, 2024 "If you do something weird? What kind of weird?"
She probably should have put air quotes around the word "weird", Chrissy thought to herself as soon as Mazie questioned her about it. It wasn't weird to her; she was just doing what she had to do to get through the day without hitting a breaking point for something that wouldn't have fazed other people. Struggling to think of examples that wouldn't make her sound even more abnormal than she already felt, Chrissy paused. "You know how people have, um, a 'fight or flight' thing?" she asked before continuing. "That's me, only it's all the time."
Chrissy wished that she could turn it off for a while and just be, but Calming Draughts could only help her with that for so long. "Es—Especially in, um… situations like this," she explained while fiddling with her hands, "going to a new country, to a new school…" She swallowed. Usually, it was only just to a new foster home when her placement ended up disrupted for some reason or another. She hadn't ever dreamed of going outside of the United States—maybe ever.
"But it's, um… I don't know. Sometimes I don't know what's going to make me react the way I do until it happens…" Little details that she thought that she had forgotten sometimes came back when she least expected them to. Those were the worst, because she couldn't try to mitigate them before they affected her. She sighed, shaking her head. "I mean, I guess it's not really a secret that I was kidnapped."
@mazie
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last online Apr 20, 2024 1:10:30 GMT -7
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Aug 23, 2019 15:48:59 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2019 15:48:59 GMT -7
Chrissy was quiet for a little while. Mazie wasn't exactly sure if she was trying to figure out how to explain herself, or if she was trying to make things awkward enough that Mazie would just say something. Mazie didn't want to, she was truly curious, but she also didn't want to make Chrissy feel uncomfortable. She nodded when the girl started to speak, explaining that she had a major fight or flight response thing, especially in specific circumstances. "Soooooo do you normally fight or are you more flight?" Mazie asked after a moment. She thought she knew, but then again maybe Chrissy would surprise her. At least now it made sense that the girl didn't know what would set her off. Apparently all sorts of things could. Her eyes widened a little when she admitted to being kidnapped. "I didn't know that ..." Then again, Mazie didn't know most things that other people did. She didn't really like to pay attention to the news or learn about things around the world. Normally it upset her. @chrissy
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last online Apr 20, 2024 1:10:30 GMT -7
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Aug 23, 2019 16:08:03 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2019 16:08:03 GMT -7
December 30, 2024 Mazie asked her if she was more “fight” or more “flight”, in terms of the response that she had just described. Overall, she wasn’t an aggressive person; she didn’t really fight under normal circumstances. Even if someone dared her to fight, although no one ever had, Chrissy didn’t think that she had it in herself to actually hurt anyone who hadn’t already hurt her first. She was already about to be half a year behind in the spells and things that the Hogwarts kids had learned while she hadn’t been in “real” school. Truthfully, she was more of a “flight” person. She shut herself off when things got really bad; that was how she coped.
“Flight,” Chrissy shrugged at Mazie in her answer to her, “I guess.”
Mazie’s reaction to her revelation about her past didn’t surprise Chrissy much. She would have been more surprised if Mazie had treated it as perfectly normal, though at least the older girl hadn’t done what some adults did and start fawning over her as though she was a toddler and not fourteen already. “I didn’t know that…”
Chrissy shrugged a little again, not sure what else to say to that. It had happened. It was her past. It was why she acted as she did. She was glad that Mazie didn’t immediately come out with a ton of questions about it, at least. That probably would have been worse, and Mazie did seem like the questioning type. “Yeah,” Chrissy replied stiffly, not wanting their conversation to enter that territory. “I don’t really like—I mean…” She didn’t like talking about it, she meant. “So that’s… That’s kind of how Lee knows me.”
@mazie
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last online Apr 20, 2024 1:10:30 GMT -7
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Aug 28, 2019 6:38:24 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Aug 28, 2019 6:38:24 GMT -7
Mazie nodded when Chrissy said she was more of a "flight" person. That wasn't really a surprise to Mazie at all. Chrissy was so quiet and introverted, it was almost expected. She was so quiet. It wasn't a bad thing, but Mazie didn't really know how to behave around Chrissy. She was used to being with people that behaved similarly to herself. Even if they weren't as outgoing or crazy as Mazie sometimes was, they were comfortable talking with her. She felt like this conversation with Chrissy was forced, and wished she knew how to fix that. She didn't want Chrissy to feel like she didn't have a choice but to talk with Mazie. She didn't even know if the girl wanted to talk. She started to say that she didn't like ... what? What didn't she like? Talking about it? Being around loud people because of it? Mazie nodded, pretending like she knew what Chrissy meant, but she didn't. "I'm glad Lee could help you." She didn't know exactly how Lee helped Chrissy, but she didn't really need to know the details, and she was pretty sure Chrissy didn't want to go into details about it. So she'd just let Chrissy take the lead in this conversation now. @chrissy
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last online Apr 20, 2024 1:10:30 GMT -7
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Aug 31, 2019 9:37:20 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2019 9:37:20 GMT -7
December 30, 2024 “I’m glad Lee could help you.” Chrissy felt bad that the conversation was so awkward. She wasn’t exactly a conversationalist to begin with, and the conversation was about something that she really, really didn’t like talking about—not with the various MACUSA officials who dealt with her, not with any of her foster parents that she had had over the years, and not with Lee. Talking about how much Lee had helped her also felt a little weird, especially with Lee’s own sister, but at least she could do that without going into anything that really made her uncomfortable. “Yeah,” Chrissy nodded. She wished that the conversation could have come more naturally to her. “I am, too.” She had been shocked when Lee had told her that she was going to go all the way to the United Kingdom and to Hogwarts. She had a few more days to process it, but the plane trip had been so strange. “I’m glad I’m not just going to sit in front of books and do nothing all day,” Chrissy offered. There would be people at Hogwarts—actual teachers again—who could explain things to her. “I’ll actually learn stuff again,” she said, momentarily hopeful before shaking her head. “But I know that the other kids are going to think I’m dumb,” she added, sighing. “They’ll think I’m stupid because I won’t know any of the answers.”
@mazie
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last online Apr 20, 2024 1:10:30 GMT -7
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Oct 10, 2019 19:21:24 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2019 19:21:24 GMT -7
Mazie was about ready to come up with some excuse to leave the room. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk with Chrissy, but the conversation was awkward and Mazie didn't do well with awkward. She normally made lame jokes or did something crazy to try and get rid of the awkward, but she was trying to be calm so she wouldn't freak Chrissy out. It was a fine line, and Mazie did not feel comfortable walking it at all. She nodded when Chrissy agreed with her about Lee, then the girl was mentioning that she was glad she'd be able to do more. "Yeah, it's definitely easier to learn things in a class with real teachers and other students around," Mazie agreed instantly. She thrived on the sociality of school. Getting to know people and learning with them, it was always one of her favorite things about school. She frowned as Chrissy continued, "Well, that's no way to think about it," she argued. "You're going to a brand new place, with a lot of new people. You should give them a chance before you assume that they're going to judge you. I'm sure that at least some of them will be nice, and that not everyone knows everything. That's why we go to school, to learn." Mazie didn't really want to lecture Chrissy, but that kind of negativity wasn't going to help the girl any. @chrissy
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last online Apr 20, 2024 1:10:30 GMT -7
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Oct 10, 2019 20:08:53 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2019 20:08:53 GMT -7
December 30, 2024 “Yeah, it's definitely easier to learn things in a class with real teachers and other students around,” Mazie agreed with her. At least she knew what that was like—the homeschool side of it, if Chrissy could call the barely-there amount of schooling she had done that year “homeschooling”. The older girl quickly frowned at her, though, as she started to explain that she wasn’t really looking forward to the other kids’ reactions to her and that they would think that she was stupid for not knowing everything that they already knew. “Well, that's no way to think about it,” Mazie told her. “You're going to a brand new place, with a lot of new people. You should give them a chance before you assume that they're going to judge you.” Well, they had before, Chrissy thought. She didn’t see how a change of location was going to be so different this time, not when some of her peers were the same students as the ones she had known at Ilvermorny. “I'm sure that at least some of them will be nice, and that not everyone knows everything. That's why we go to school, to learn.” Chrissy shook her head. She knew that Mazie meant well, but it was just so hard to wrap her head around the idea that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Somewhere inside of herself, Chrissy knew that not everyone was going to look down on her, necessarily. But they were going to know all of whatever they had been learning without her. Nor did she want the teachers to call on her. Everybody was going to know that she had missed a whole semester, and Chrissy wished that she could have just made up for it somehow. At least at Ilvermorny, she had been there the whole time. Even if she hadn’t known where she would be living next, she knew that there would be Ilvermorny to return to, and she had lost that, too. She knew that she wasn’t stupid or a baby or any of the other things that she thought that people would likely think about her. Had she also lost her pride? “I’m tired of new places, Mazie.” She was already in one of those. It wasn’t horrible, but California sounded nice again. Home—whatever that was anymore—was somewhere back there. The familiar, at least… That was home. “It’s not fair.” How come this had become her life? “I know I’m not like other kids, but I just wanna feel normal for once.”
@mazie
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last online Apr 20, 2024 1:10:30 GMT -7
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Dec 31, 2019 13:11:05 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2019 13:11:05 GMT -7
Chrissy just seemed to be determined to take things the wrong way. She shook her head at Mazie's words, obviously not agreeing to what Mazie said. That was fine. Mazie didn't know all the things that she'd been through in her life. Chrissy didn't want to tell her either, which probably meant she didn't want to know. At the same time, she didn't like it when people were negative. From Mazie's point of view, life is what you make of it. You could be the poorest, most trodden down person, but if you have a good attitude, things will seem better. Also, you can have a fabulous life, but if all you look at is the negative, that's all you'll see. Mazie was definitely one to look at the bright side, and she generally didn't have much patience for people who did the opposite. Still, Mazie was ready to let it go. She really didn't want Chrissy to feel like she was being lectured, and she didn't want to argue with the other girl either, but then Chrissy started talking again, about how she was tired of new place and "it" wasn't fair and how she just wanted to feel normal. Mazie felt her annoyance start to grow. "Well, if that's what you want, then you need to work for it," Mazie said bluntly with a shrug of her shoulders. "Pretend like you're not tired of new places and make your life what you want it to be. Life isn't easy for anyone, so don't use that as an excuse. If you want to be "normal", you're going to have to reach out to other people, try and be more positive. I mean, you're more than welcome to sit with me and I'll introduce you to my friends," if she didn't get super annoyed at Mazie for what she was saying now. Mazie had a habit of sometimes going too far. "Look, I'm not trying to be mean, I swear. Just ... don't let people control you're life or control you. Take charge of your life and make it what you want it to be. You'll be a lot happier that way, I think." There. Maybe Chrissy would close down completely now and be angry at Mazie for telling her what to do, but that wasn't what Mazie wanted. She just ... couldn't sit here and just watch Chrissy be angry and upset about her life without doing anything about it. @chrissy
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last online Apr 20, 2024 1:10:30 GMT -7
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Jan 4, 2020 20:10:05 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2020 20:10:05 GMT -7
December 30, 2024 "Well, if that's what you want, then you need to work for it," Mazie shrugged at her, brushing off the frustrations that she had just expressed. "Pretend like you're not tired of new places and make your life what you want it to be," she urged her, something which felt far easier said than done to Chrissy. Her life would never be what she wanted it to be. In an ideal world, her parents would still be alive—at the very least. Even still having been kidnapped wouldn't have been as bad, Chrissy thought, if her mom and dad had been alive to welcome her home.
"Life isn't easy for anyone, so don't use that as an excuse," Mazie chided her. "If you want to be 'normal', you're going to have to reach out to other people, try and be more positive. I mean, you're more than welcome to sit with me and I'll introduce you to my friends." If her friends were anything like her, Chrissy thought, she wasn't sure how much of a help they would be.
Chrissy was willing to give Mazie the benefit of the doubt, though she breathed in in anticipation of a sigh. She just wanted the older girl to accept that maybe she didn't have to be a "perky-happy-fun-fun-fun" type of person. Was it just too much to ask for someone to understand the way she was feeling without trying to change her into someone she wasn't?
Mazie continued with what she had to say, and Chrissy reluctantly listened. "Look, I'm not trying to be mean, I swear," she said. "Just… don't let people control your life or control you. Take charge of your life and make it what you want it to be. You'll be a lot happier that way, I think."
Feeling as though she was being cornered, Chrissy took another deep breath. It was extraordinarily hard for her to take control of her life when it was being controlled by MACUSA most of the time. She had to remind herself that Mazie would never know that pressure; she would never know what it felt like to have to pack up everything and move at a moment's notice, never knowing for how long she might stay in a placement or how she would be treated once she got there. Even the nicest foster parents Chrissy had had had been no substitute for her real parents.
"I know you're not trying to be mean," Chrissy replied, still not entirely sure if Mazie's statement about not trying to be mean to her was the truth, "and I wish I could just snap my fingers or take a potion or something and turn my life around, but, um… I mean, it's not that easy."
@mazie
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last online Apr 20, 2024 1:10:30 GMT -7
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Apr 3, 2020 6:42:00 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2020 6:42:00 GMT -7
Okay, so she just ignored everything Mazie had to say. Fine. Then Mazie would just try to show that she was willing to be there for the girl. "I'm sorry things are so hard for you," Mazie said after a few seconds. "I really wish I could help. I mean, Lee trusts you and cares about you, so I know I can." She paused, realizing she wasn't saying what she meant to. "Sorry, things aren't coming out right. What I'm trying to say is that if you ever need anything, just let me know. I can't understand what you're going through, but if there's some way I can help you, I'd like to." Mazie meant it. She wasn't the kind of person to say things she didn't mean. She wanted to help the girl if she could. @chrissy
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last online Apr 20, 2024 1:10:30 GMT -7
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Apr 14, 2020 4:58:24 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2020 4:58:24 GMT -7
December 30, 2024 It took Mazie a little while to say anything to her after that, but what came out of her mouth wasn't as harsh as what Chrissy had expected from her. She said that she was sorry that things were so hard for her, which was more than a little surprising, and then she added, "I really wish I could help. I mean, Lee trusts you and cares about you, so I know I can." While that could have been worded less offensively, Chrissy understood that the sentiment was… sort of there. Coming from Mazie, it meant a lot.
"Sorry," Mazie went on, "things aren't coming out right. What I'm trying to say is that if you ever need anything, just let me know. I can't understand what you're going through, but if there's some way I can help you, I'd like to."
That meant even more to Chrissy, that Mazie was willing to try for her sake. Really, too, that was all she could ask; she just needed to know that Mazie was willing to see things from her perspective—or willing to try to see things from her perspective, as the case might have been. Besides, it wouldn't hurt to have Mazie there to support her once they got to Hogwarts.
"Thanks, Mazie," Chrissy spoke after a pause of her own. It was awkward—without a doubt—but she wasn't sure how much of that was also just… her and how she was normally. She wasn't exactly Mazie's type of person, and she knew that, but having her in her corner was better than not at all.
@mazie OOC: Should we wrap this one up so that we can do something more current with them?
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last online Apr 20, 2024 1:10:30 GMT -7
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May 14, 2020 15:45:05 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 14, 2020 15:45:05 GMT -7
Mazie smiled and nodded, feeling like maybe she and Chrissy understood one another for a moment. It might not be very much, but at least the girl seemed to understand that she wanted to help if she could. Mazie did hope she took her offer seriously and would come to Mazie if she needed help during the school year, though Mazie wouldn't be particularly surprised if she didn't. Chrissy seemed to be the type who liked to keep things to himself. "Well," she said, jumping up after a second, "I think I'm going to see if there's anything to watch on the TV. You can join me if you want," Mazie offered with a smile. She needed to do something where she wouldn't have to think anymore. @chrissy (End Mazie!)
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last online Apr 20, 2024 1:10:30 GMT -7
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Jun 6, 2020 21:49:06 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2020 21:49:06 GMT -7
December 30, 2024 Chrissy hadn't meant for there to be such an awkward silence between her and Mazie, but she had never claimed to be the best conversationalist. It wasn't that she didn't have conversational skills; she did, she just didn't know how to change the subject to something about which she and Mazie could find common ground. After everything that she had had to explain, it didn't seem to matter what else she brought up; it would probably be uncomfortable.
Before it fell upon her to find something to say, Mazie did. "Well," she announced, getting to her feet suddenly, "I think I'm going to see if there's anything to watch on the TV. You can join me if you want."
That was probably a good idea. Chrissy had never watched very much television, but it was increasingly popular in the magical community of the United States. "Cool," Chrissy nodded. "I'll, um… I'll be there in just a minute."
@mazie Fin!
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