Si, I l-... nevermind (Sienna)

[Deleted]

It felt like forever since Gus had last seen his best friend. The world had started to lose all vibrance and the greyscale that his life was slowly fading into seemed to predict and light the path to his coffin in a dim light of sadness echoing a false melancholy sense of comfort that was nothing but a lie to speed up his inpending doom. Naturally, Gus was being dramatic because he missed his best friend more than anything in the world. She was the light of his life, the gentle showers in summer, the light of the moon in the forest when you felt like the path was hidden. She was the cold breeze on a hot day, the icecubes in a refreshing glass of water. Okay, so maybe he was overkilling it but he genuinely missed her. Even if he never dared admit it to himself before, the feelings he had for the woman were far deeper than he cared to admit. She wasn't just his best friend, somewhere in the past years he'd gradually and unknowningly fallen for her.

But all that had been messed up long before it had started. He felt no need to worry. How things were right now was great! He had a best friend and somebody he could always count on and trust. Somebody he could easily be himself with and somebody that actually genuinely understood him. He'd never lightly risk it for the impossibility of them trying the relationship thing again. He chuckled in amusement as the thought even passed his mind. No, there was no way in hell that she'd ever even consider taking him back in such a way. He was lucky they'd even managed to stay friends with everything that had been wrong with his mind when they'd been together. That all was in the past.

So as he made his way up the path to the apothecary where she worked with his sunglasses on and several charms that were supposed to keep most folks from noticing him, he was in a good mood. He was going to spend time with his best friend again, if she liked it or not! She was a mad genius with potions and he had a deep envy of her skills, even though he wasn't too shabby himself. It wasn't that he was good or anything. He could make do and brew what he had to. If needed more than the basic stuff but he rarely had the patience or organisation to try. He was more the type to just wing it and see what happened. For potions? Not the best idea.

So as he sauntered into the apothecary he smiled and conjured up some flowers as he made straight towards his crush best friend. "Sienna, my darling!" He greeted her flamboyantly, "You look absolutely gorgeous today. Your beauty even more bewitching than it usually is. Invented a potion to attract men without having to feed it to them?" He was flirting and teasing as always. Then again, that was just how they rolled. It only complicated things a lot further, just the way he liked it. Made it a lot more difficult to have rejection if it was the baseline because she didn't know if he was serious or not. Safety and all that. He was NOT going to start writing love songs like a love sick teen. He refused!

Sienna Aurélie Linslee

[Sienna Aurélie Linslee]

It was unnaturally quiet in the apothecary today and the feeling set Sienna on edge. It was, unfortunately, a common enough mood for her these days – she could feel the tense set of her shoulders and the tight grip of her jaw evolving and becoming a more natural position. A byproduct of the times she was chosen to live in, she reminded herself as she forced herself to relax her shoulders. It was her own fault that she was alone. The other potioneer had stepped out for lunch, but Sienna was in the middle of a particularly tricky batch of Invigoration Draught and just couldn’t leave it alone.

Sometimes it felt as if someone had wrapped a fist around her heart and was squeezing slowly. Her mouth drew into a little frown as she considered the cauldron in front of her. Si couldn’t pretend that the feeling of malaise was solely due to the bad weather (but god above was London dreary). Somewhat glumly, she lit a fire underneath the cauldron with her wand and watched little tendrils of steam escape. She allowed herself to take a deep breath, and the curiously tangy combination of peppermint, honeywater, and lovage sharpened her senses and reduced the knot of dread that had formed in her stomach.

Sienna started to hum to try and fill the air with some noise. She wasn’t exactly England’s top singer, but she could feel herself smile. Music was her best friend’s area of specialty, and even if Gus wasn’t here she could almost feel the warmth of his presence and his cheeky smile. He was exactly the type of person who could fill a whole room with energy and he always served as a reminder that she would never be alone (and who would want to be alone if they could be around him instead?). She missed him…so much. But he was popular, and busy pursuing the dream she’d pushed him to consider in the first place, and she had made the choice to move to London to better chase her own. Life was like that sometimes, pushing you away from the ones you love to chase a future that felt so far away.

She looked up at the sound of the bell indicating someone had walked in, and it was as if she had summoned him here with her thoughts. The sight of Gus sauntering in like he owned the place caused all the tension to melt off her like it had never been there at all. She felt…indescribably light – it was so hard to capture the effect Gus had on her because it felt so normal and wholesome to be with him. She could ponder the degree of trouble she’d be in if anything ever separated them, but it was always a given that they’d always be in each other’s lives. “Gus!” Si squealed, rounding the counter to press a quick kiss to his cheek and crush him in a hug. She felt herself give off a sigh of delight before pulling away to look him up and down (she just had to make sure he was alright) and rolling her eyes playfully. “And who would need a potion like that, my love, if your attention is the only one I want?”

This game they played was dangerous, with the terms of endearment and flirting. It would probably be better for her mental health to avoid falling into the trap of pretending they could be something more. But Gus had a way of entrapping her and it was honestly the best of prisons. Si looked over the flowers he had brought. “And who are these for, hm? Tell me you don’t have someone else in your life to take you away from me.”

[Deleted]

Her beauty and her grace where beyond that of this mortal realm, he was certain. There was just something about her that demanded his undivided attention. She was stunning and little teenage him had definitively drooled a little bit. Or just a lot. Still he had barely given her time of day before they got to be friends because he had commitment issues. It was half a miracle that they got to be such close friends to begin with. It was far too much to ask of the world for a second attempt at a relationship to work out. Especially after all he put her through in his bad days. It wouldn't be fair to her and yet he couldn't seem to let the idea go. The problem quite clearly was that he was in love. How to resolve that remained unclear, although he was certain it would come to them eventually. She'd probably help him get over her with quite a bit of enthusiasm. Their choice not to be partners had been for the good of both of them, after all.

Still as she jumped up happily as he came in and instantly came for a hug as well as that feather light kiss on the cheek he loved to receive from her, his heart fluttered. Her arms around him made him feel happy and protective. If anybody dreamed of hurting her, he'd tear the world apart looking for them. He'd have the revenge of sorts that she required. Not because she felt it was needed, she was kinder than that, but more because seeing her in pain wasn't something he could stand. The idea of losing her would send him straight into a panic attack with all the consequences that had. Luckily for him, the chances that she'd leave him were slim to none. She'd stuck with him through his darkest days and nights and had even quite literally saved his life at some point. The thing that had broken them up had somehow also brought them closer together. To see her thrive was now one of the most satisfying aspects of his life.

Her words, as always, made it seem like they could be more. It was probably just a flirtation game of sorts between them. He was known to commit to nobody and his commitment to her was already far more deep and profound than anybody could have dared expect from him. Her words that suggested envy of any that might hold his heart, made it soar in pleasure. He chuckled and kissed her forehead quickly, before she could slip from his grasp. "Those are dangerous suggestions Sienna, with all the men undoubtedly lining up at your door to win over your affection. They might stop showing up if they think your heart is taken." But he so wished that hers was. He had the greed to want her love and her attention all for himself. Not to keep her from the world of course but more to greedily fulfill his own wishes. He really ought to let it go, but she made it so impossible to even consider trying.

Her supposed jealousy did not help put a stopper on his feelings. He smiled and drew her in for a second hug, holding it a bit longer and in a scarcely audible whisper he muttered, "You have my heart, mon ami." Then he released her and offered her the flowers. "I just figured some flowers to cheer up your home and force you to think of me a little bit more often are never a bad thing. I wouldn't want you to forget about me by accident." He said with a playful smile, giving an answer she could expect and so that she might ignore his careless whisper that betrayed his true feelings. Maybe one day he'd confess, but only if he had enough certainty she would not change things between them for his confession. Odds were unlikely, as such confessions nearly always did change friendships between two individuals. If reciprocated a relationship might bloom but if the feelings were not mutual it was most common for the one to distance themselves from the other. He wasn't quite sure he could bear to put more distance between himself and Sienna. So he kept quiet and wished for better times.

Sienna Aurélie Linslee

[Sienna Aurélie Linslee]

Sienna let herself give into the temptation of keeping Gus’s arms around her and leaning into his warmth for perhaps longer than was strictly necessary after her hug. She knew exactly how much trouble she was in – staying away and keeping the right amount of distance was impossible when she had this inner voice constantly pushing to create excuses to see or touch him. It was the best and worst way of toeing the line between happiness and pain, because it was so easy to fall into a level of familiarity and affection with him that she couldn’t share with anyone else. But, it came with knowing that there needed to be a barrier between them for every interaction, every line of dialogue and familiar touch. Because they weren’t together, and he wasn’t hers, and someday he was going to give all these touches and words to someone else and she’d be left with her regrets.

As easy as it was to remember why this was wrong and ultimately going to lead to more pain in some distant future, it was also easy to forget it all and soak in the undivided attention he gave her. Sienna loved seeing the way his eyes locked on hers, and knowing that he was simply absorbing her presence the way she was his (although, maybe not the exact same way…). Her heart skipped a beat as he easily returned her little flirty words, teasing about all the men she doubtlessly had in her life. Si couldn’t respond the way she wanted to, so she let herself say it mentally (you took my heart so long ago and I don’t want it back) before choosing a much safer/riskier option.

“Maybe I’m looking for a little danger, Gus. Faint heart never won fair lady…how much longer will I have to wait?” Odds were likely that Gus, like most wizards, was unfamiliar with the Muggle proverbs she’d grown up with, but Sienna couldn’t help but fear a little that she’d shown too much of what she really wanted. It was easy to play with double meanings and hidden messages, but there was a line and Si always had to be careful not to cross it. The possibility of losing Gus was too high if she ever shared everything that she hoped for, and she couldn’t bear the idea of being the reason that drove him away. So when he drew her in for another hug, she didn’t resist and hid her face in his shoulder to hide her blush and how seriously she’d meant those words. Sienna could feel her knees weaken when Gus began to whisper to her, but those last two words sobered her. My friend.

It was a stone-cold reminder of what their relationship really was, at its core, and Si gave herself one more defeated moment of soaking in this reality before pulling away. Her smile wasn’t as bright or effortless as before, but she kept it steady on her face because Gus deserved only the best from her and because she would take anything she could get from him at this point (she really did love to cause herself pain…). She accepted the flowers but didn’t take her eyes off his face. “Well that’s absolutely impossible, mon ange. You are on my mind every day and it would take much more than an accident to forget you.” Sienna finally glanced down to look at the arrangement he’d conjured and felt her smile melt into something more natural. “But don’t you dare stop with these lovely gifts. I never want you to stop thinking about me.”

They were still in the front of the store, but Si wanted at least a semblance of privacy – something that could at least help her pretend they were really the only people in the world. She slipped her hand into his and began to lead him to her workspace in the back – away from the other potioneer, out at lunch, and away from any customers who might want her assistance. Once they were away from the front, Si absently put the flowers in an empty cauldron and turned back to Gus, her eyes searching his face again and recommitting his features to memory. She was still holding his hand and quickly vetoed the idea of letting go, letting a tinge of worry enter her face. “But have you been taking care of yourself, love?”

@auguste

[Deleted]

Some things Gus would never manage to understand. One of them was the inner workings of the female mind. He loved and adored most woman and always tried to treat them was dignity and respect, although that never excluded a little flirting on his side. Usually actually a lot. That didn't take away from the fact his heart had long since been stolen and the only thing that kept him on the grind of forget oblivion in the arms of woman that he loved for the night was the fact he was convinced she did not see any sort of options in him. Yet sometimes he could swear he caught glimpses or hidden meanings in her words.He wished so badly for it to be true, which obviously meant he was just imagining it. If she did see anything in him in the past that surely had passed after they'd gone their separate ways post relationship. The one that he'd messed up far beyond repair with his self destructive behaviour. The type of behaviour she'd saved him from. If she hadn't been there he'd have been several feet under by now.

The words that came out of her mouth were confusing sometimes. Especially went she went and started popping all the muggle stuff on him. For starters, he already was unfamiliar with most English proverbs so the likelihood he'd know one that was both English and muggle was obsolete. He blinked a few times, wondering if that was somehow meant to be a jest at him. Sienna did tend to do that sort of a thing. She liked playing with his heart and his emotions, although he knew with full certainty that there was never any malice in her playfulness. She wanted danger? And she was asking him how long she had to wait? How was he supposed to know?! Something about a faint heart not winning a fair lady. Well she was obviously the fair lady but was some guy being too boring for her? Did she absolutely have to speak in riddles? His brow furrowed slightly in confusion. "I don't get muggles." He concluded, his nose slightly scrunched up. "I mean, their ways off life are so much more complicated than those in the magical world that I can't envy them. I'm far too lazy to figure out things like... fellytones? What's the word? Mobelle? Their science is to me what magic is to them. I don't get one bit of it." She'd obviously completely derailed him for a moment there and as he realised that he grinned sheepishly. "Sorry Si. I'm a pretty airhead. You're clearly the brains in this relationship. It's mean of you to confuse me like this." He teased and jested, wrapping an arm around her and kissing the top of her head. Oh how he adored and loved this woman.

Was it him or did her smile lose part of the shine? Was it something he said or was he just imagining things? Had he somehow touched upon a painful memory? His heart roared in anger towards his own self as he wanted to fight himself and bring her smile back. Why did he mess things up again? But then his worries grew less as her smile seemed to take on that shine again upon looking at his flowers. He must have done well on his arrangement if they made her happy. He wasn't a florist but well, he was an artist of sorts and he'd seen plenty of their finest pieces to at least be able to do a beginners interpretation of a good bouquet. He laughed as she suggested he had the option of not thinking of her at all. "It's impossible for me to not think about Sienna. You are the angel in my mind that sheds her bright light on my existence with the warmth of the sun after my sun was taken and my life has slowly taken to being in orbit around the splendor and beauty of your divine light. I am merely a humbled soul to stand before you when you so kindly allow me to bask in your glory." His words came out flirting but he quite clearly was not joking. She was without a doubt the most important woman in his life.

And then she dragged him off to the back where people would not see them so easily and Gus was relieved. He liked being alone with her, even if the scent of her perfume was so intoxicating that he felt drunk the moment she stepped away. She was perfection to him in all the flaws she did carry. She worried about him but as long as he had her, there really was very little to worry about. He didn't exactly have a healthy lifestyle or anything but he had found enough that made life worth living it. She was one of the main reasons he was far from done exploring the various options life could bring. He smiled gently and softly squeezed the hand she'd dragged him off with. "As well as can be expected, my dear." He said sincerely and gently. "As long as my frail heart does not shatter, you have nothing to fear. Ask anything of me and you'll find I can't so easily say no to you." He took her other hand in his and smiled at her lovingly. "You saved my life Si. Once that you remember and every single day since then." He grinned a little. To the French affection was far easier to bestow than to the English and that oddly enough would always be his advantage. He could say whatever he wanted under the guise of friendship, expressing his true feelings without it being obvious that he had never gotten over her. "I love you Si. I always have and I always will. There is nothing in this world that could ever change that. You're much more important to me than just a best friend."

He sighed and smiled slightly as he stared into the distance for a moment. "Girl, I'd quit smoking if you'd ask me to. I'm not saying I could keep it up for more than a week but I'd try if you asked it. I just want to see you happy." He then looked at her face again and smiled his mischievous smile at her. "So what is it you wish?" He joked and as always broke the tension before things could get too serious. He was still too worried about rejection to come face to face with telling her what he wished for but could never actually ask of her. So he joked and flirting and kept his distance to keep his heart safe. Yet somewhere he felt she had a right to know. He'd only ever tell her in ways that suggested he didn't want more than just friendship but that was more to protect himself. He didn't want her to walk out of his life because she was worried he wouldn't be able to take no for an answer. He preferred not being put in that scenario to begin with and save them both the misery of that awkwardness hanging over their cloud of friendship.

Sienna Aurélie Linslee

[Sienna Aurélie Linslee]

Even with all the tension that still existed between them (that frustrating mix between needing to stay a certain level of detached but being intimately connected through their shared history), there were always small reminders that Si’s relationship with Gus would always be based on a strong foundation of trust. There were times, in an otherwise innocent conversation with some magical acquaintance, that Si could feel her blood run cold and her cheeks burn whenever she let slip something that betrayed her Muggle heritage. It was so difficult to remember her caution sometimes, because as much as she’d been immersed in the magical world since her school years, she would always have that non-magical background that would always show itself in small ways. Every slip-up was a reminder of just how dangerous the world had become for people like Sienna, and every edition of the Daily Prophet reminded her of what it could lead to.

So listening to Gus ramble about Muggle culture in that flighty train of thought characteristic of the musician inside him warmed Sienna completely, and her face softened in a pure fondness that, for once, was completely independent of the ‘will they/won’t they’ dynamic she’d been torturously engaged in for years. Even when Gus was absentmindedly pouring out his opinion of Muggles and his abstract analysis of their way of life, there was a poetry to his words and a cadence to his rhythm that showed how he was born to create art. Si didn’t interrupt, and let herself stare more openly than she’d usually allow herself while he was distracted, taking in the furrowed lines of his face and pensive expression. She sharpened again and returned to reality when she heard her name. Smirking slightly, she bit her lip to hide her full expression as he pulled her close again, enjoying the intimacy for one moment before putting a hand to his chest and lightly pulling away from him. “But if I didn’t confuse you with odd Muggle customs, I wouldn’t get to hear the poetry of your words or see all these lovely expressions you make when your mind is somewhere else.” Si tweaked his nose (he always scrunched it up when he was thinking and she adored it) before stepping away.

It was true that Si was hopelessly gone for this man, and that there was probably nothing she wouldn’t do if he asked her, but she was also not a helpless maiden in a fairy tale and she always fought hard not to get lost in him. Sienna was never going to be that girl that couldn’t exist outside her love for a boy, and although it seemed to get harder every time she saw him she fought to maintain some line of what was Sienna and what was Gus. She loved to watch him create his music, she loved toeing the line between what was and wasn’t appropriate to watch his reactions, and she loved how he spoke to her. But she was a challenge and it was good to remember it.

As strong as their mutual understanding was at this point, there were some things Si couldn’t read about him. The look in his eyes as he spoke to her was always top of that list. Sienna knew how to hide her blush around him, but she hadn’t learned how to resist some of his flirty words – it didn’t help that she always wanted more. That was the core of her problem. She always wanted more than what she could ask him to give her, and it wasn’t fair to even entertain the possibility of asking. She knew him, his history and his habits and what he could and couldn’t do. He was an incredibly bright light in her life, and he could dazzle anybody he spoke to or performed for. Sometimes it was impossible to look away, but it was always impossible to say no because he’d never learned how to ask for what he really needed and so she couldn’t turn away from what he did know how to ask. And, she’d learned years ago, the cost of constantly exuding so much light and energy was that he ate himself up to do it. It wasn’t healthy, and she’d already seen the cost of it once.

So she ignored his earlier flirty comments as she waited for a response to the question she desperately wanted an answer to (‘are you taking care of yourself’) even as she already knew the answer and the impossibility of the question. At some point, the smile had slowly drifted off her face and she fixed him with a look of concentration as she stared into his eyes. She gave a small sigh internally at the predictable response, and let him take her other hand as she stepped closer to him again. Even with how she worried about him, and all his little flaws, he knew how to melt her heart. And there would always be that magnetic quality to him that kept her from maintaining too large or too irreversible a distance. Hearing him tell her he loved her, even if it wasn’t in the way she wanted, was enough of a confirmation that she’d fallen so far she would never want to undo it, even if it was in her power.

Her words came out more seriously than she’d expected, and there was a clear double meaning to her that could be interpreted any way he wanted. “I love you too, mon ange. You know there’s never anything you could do that would keep me away, and that’s why I’ll always ask. Even if you give me the same answer every time.” His last question to her had his usual teasing quality to it, so Sienna took his cue and lightened her expression with a playful smile.

“Now those are the words every girl dreams of hearing,” she teased, pulling away from him and stepping back towards her half of the room. Even as she created the distance, she kept her eyes on him and hoped he’d get the silent message (‘keep following me’). “But that’s far too much power to give to someone who wants you all to herself.” She leaned back against her desk and crossed her arms as she visibly gave him a once-over, winking at him as she met his eyes again. “I could ask you to fetch my potion ingredients all over England. Or maybe to constantly follow me around and serenade me?” She paused for a moment, then decided she’d been reckless enough today that she didn’t need to be so careful. She lowered her voice. “Or, maybe I might ask that wherever you travel worldwide and whoever you meet, that you come back here. To me. Always.” Si felt her heart flutter as she smiled at Gus. “So maybe you shouldn’t give that power to someone as selfish as me. Who knows how I might abuse it?”

@auguste

[Deleted]

CW: depression, suicide/related topics, death of a parent.

Muggles and muggleborns, how absolutely blind they could be. It was almost funny how Sienna didn't realise the magic of her mere presence and the effect it had on him was far more powerful than anything he'd ever encountered in the world at large. It wasn't that he'd seen as much as the curse breakers, dragon keepers and those that studied the mysteries of magic but to him she was the biggest mystery that the magical world had ever produced. She was a beacon of light that had sene him through the deepest depths of darkness and no tentril of that darkness had ever seemed to touch her. The purity she held in her very soul went so much deeper than the obsession with blood the purists themselves would proclaim of value. She was beyond a doubt a miracle to grace his world. She didn't even seem to realise this, which struck him as exceedingly insane with every passing day. How could she not see herself in the light he saw her in? Perhaps it was better that way, as such an eye opening experience didn't usually change people for the better. Most regularly they'd hold to the image another held of them while twisting and reshaping their actual image with pride and arrogance. It was never a pretty sight.

She teased him with her muggle knowledge and the confoundable limitless energy of science. He shook his head slightly as she proclaimed his very words poetry and chuckled slightly. "My words are not those of a poet if they fall upon the ears of those unwilling or unable to see or hear the deeper meaning when there is one shaped in their very creation. Of course it merely holds meaning when riddles speak of things more common than their words suggest, if those seeking it find more than their creator might have intended. If I'd write a song about breakfast it truly might be advanced poetry." He said jokingly, adding excessive flourish and mystery into the very beat of his words, vaguely wondering if he'd drive her crazy or somehow impress her with the floral words creative enough to build either a beautiful garden or a patch filled with multiple meaningless weeds. It was all in the eye of the beholder and not all appreciated a overly complicated speech pattern.

They understood one another, which was a blessing and a curse. She knew him, almost too well. She'd been there at his darkest hour, she'd been there when he'd given in to despair. Even now the memory was like a knife to his heart and even if he tried his best to hide it, all the lights seemed to flicker and die out when those memories came back to him. Her voice and face and the beauty of her smile carried him through the darkness like a blinding light. Even as his mind travelled back to that place all those years ago when it seemed nothing would ever bring light into his life he remembered one thing that stood out more. Her.

It had seemed that ever since he'd received the news his aunt had died everything was slowly losing colour. As if somebody was trying to turn the entire world into a colourless desert. Was it just him or had the lights around him slowly been going out? He knew the world was visually identical to earlier that day but everything looked different. The calmth of the silence had grown oppressive, the sun had lost all it's warmth and no colour seemed to have any vibrance left. There seemed no use in anything that happened and nothing he did brought relief of the pain he felt. He was exhausted far beyond a point his mind could handle and had been lying on his bed for hours, drinking more than just alcohol in hopes that sleep would take him. It felt like he hadn't rested in years, not once since his mother had passed. He'd sent a message with his owl to his girlfriend, Sienna, to tell her what happened. To tell her he missed her. Even if the letter had hardly conveyed just how much he needed company, he hoped somewhere that he'd read between the lines. He hadn't been able to conjure a patronus, although he'd barely put in the effort to begin with. He didn't remember joy or happiness. They all seemed like faded concepts of the past. As time seemed to stretch on to eternity his mind lost hope, finishing the last desperate drops in his bottle. She wouldn't come. He started to sink into the darkness, breaking utterly at the idea of the thought as the brightest light he'd ever beheld in the world seemed to float into the room. It was a sheltering ray of light shining through the darkness. It was small but bright and lit up the only face he wanted to see. Finally, he felt the spark of hope ignite, even while he felt her distress begin. The world was still beautiful. She was with him.

They had broken up not long after that. It wasn't healthy, the relationship they'd had back then. Nearly all of that was his fault as he'd ventured into something he wasn't quite ready for. By now he'd never stop being himself or doing what made him feel real and alive for the sake of somebody he loved. He'd never give himself up in order to ensure the happiness of somebody else. It made him too vulnerable and dependent. Seeing what had happened to him when he'd lost his mother despite giving every inch of his being to save her in hindsight wasn't very pretty. It still affected him very strongly. No matter how much he loved Sienna, he could not allow himself to live for her and her alone. It wasn't fair to either of them, as the pain would eventually destroy them both. He lived for himself, he knew that much now. His career and his music gave him purpose and passion. Maybe somebody in a position similar to his own one day would be able to relate and escape, just like he'd been lucky enough to do. Living a happily ever after with the girl he was more certain than ever he was truly madly and deeply in love with was a dream and a wish, but not his purpose.

Most of her threats didn't sound like the worst possible option to him. There was one that didn't quite work out, but an evil grin spread across his face as he followed her. "I could build my tour schedule around the ingredients you'd need me to get. Following you around to serenade you all the time wouldn't work that well with my career, unless I just put you on the stage. Might get a bit awkward at some point." His grin grew even bigger and a twinkle of mischief was in his eyes that always spelled out trouble. "As for the last suggestion..." he said almost purringly, "... There isn't anybody out there I'd rather endlessly go back to like some drug addict desperate for a fix." He chuckled then and pulled away a bit, stretching as he looked around. The office space was nice and cozy, which seemed kind of odd. Most potioneers seemed to have a thing for putting some of the more off putting things on full display. It didn't exactly make him feel at home to see rows of dead animals and eyes staring at him. Potions was not exactly his forte, although he was decent enough. He'd managed to graduate with passing grades, if nothing else.

He looked at Si as he made himself comfortable. "But tell me what's been up? It's been a while since we spoke and the tabloids still don't write enough about you for me to keep track of your life without a personal in depth interview so I get to go first in asking." He said with a grin and a wink.

Sienna Aurélie Linslee

[Sienna Aurélie Linslee]

Sometimes their conversations felt like a moment caught in time – one of just them caught in a bubble, and this back-and-forth where they just circled each other forever without ever breaking the dynamic and saying what seemed to be implied. At least, that’s how it felt for her. It was amazing how he was her closest confidant, someone that she shared everything with when they had the time for each other, but that there could also be this big fundamental truth that she would never be able to share with him. That it wouldn’t be fair to share with him.

Because they’d tried it, and someday she was going to have to learn how to really let him go. But that thought was too heavy to think about now, and she didn’t have him to herself for long. They had the room to themselves, but the moment would end when her coworker came back from lunch. They could go out, she supposed, and Gus had gotten quite skilled at the magical disguises. But it wouldn’t have the same intimacy, and that was something that she constantly missed. The intimacy of a close connection uninterrupted by the world or reality, which was something she’d only ever really shared with Gus.

Gus had caught on to her teasing and the playful look on his face made her heart pound as he came closer. Even with the light tone, there was a gravity to the moment that had enveloped Si. The smile on her face softened and her knees were weak enough that she was thankful for the support of the desk she was leaning on. It felt unreal sometimes to think of the situation she’d gotten herself into, how Sienna was never going to be able to forget the heat she felt when Gus looked at her like he did now. She gave a soft laugh as he broke their eye contact to look around. “Then don’t forget it, darling.” Si matched his lowered tone. “Short of putting me on stage…you’re mine. Completely. And whatever trouble you get yourself into when you’re away, it won’t trouble you when you’re with me.” Gus had taken to his new career well, and his passion showed. It was why he’d become so popular, so well-loved outside of France and now in the United Kingdom. Sienna couldn’t offer him much that he wasn’t now capable of getting on his own. But quiet, and an intimate connection, and some time alone…yeah, she could do that.

He’d broken their eye contact to look around her work space, but Sienna kept a considering gaze on him. Her eyes traced over his profile, and she had to take a deep breath in to find the willpower to look away. He was…magnetic, and he almost certainly knew the effect he had on her. She was only rescued from remaining under that spell by the sound of the little bell tinkling in the main space. It was too early to be Jamie, which meant it was the shopkeeper come back to reopen the front of the shop. There was still a door between them, but Si frowned slightly at the thought that her break would soon be over. She wasn’t ready to
separate from Gus yet.

Si laughed as she watched him get comfortable and ask about her. “Well, it’s true that I have the unique opportunity to follow you even when you’re abroad. Don’t check my top drawer or you’ll find all your magazine spreads,” she teased, leaning back on her desk and fiddling with her wand, which she’d left out. Of course, she’d never admit this, but they were actually all back at her small place, probably still in the messy pile she’d left under some of her old Potions reference books. Gus would sometimes come over, but she’d skillfully hidden them because she would probably prefer to become a puffskein before admit how closely she followed him.

Still, she lit up at his question. “I’ve actually started working on something wonderful. With my coworker.” She gestured at the other work area, which Gus had already claimed as his own. He was so like Philippe at times that it made her laugh. She rounded her desk to remove the cover she’d placed over a simmering cauldron filled with a sparkling purple liquid that bubbled slowly. “One day, we were discussing the limitations of the Wolfsbane Potion when we just…had the idea to improve it. I’ve been experimenting with new ingredients. I’m planning to add this juice to the next batch during the full moon, and we’ll see!” Octopus juice was truly a Potions marvel, and it was already used in several healing draughts. There was something to be unlocked here, Si could sense it.

While she was at the cauldron, she took the opportunity to give the mixture a quick stir and observe how the color had already changed. She’d been smiling as she’d shown Gus the cauldron, but it faded slightly as she considered the unfinished mixture in front of her. “It’s something I’ve noticed since I first entered the wizarding world. The status of demi-humans, I mean,” she added quickly. Si’s face fell. “It’s just…shameful sometimes. And I’m lucky that I can hide my Muggle parents when I need to. That it isn’t visible. This is just…something I need to do. Potions is something I can do.” She sighed heavily; this was something she’d discussed with Jamie extensively, but they were still at the beginning of their partnership and there were things they couldn’t discuss yet.

Sienna sighed again. “You finally have some free time, and I’m going on about werewolves. Pardon, mon ange.” She looked up at Gus again.

@auguste

[Deleted]

One of these days he would know how to be stronger. He would know how to let go of her or his fear to lose her if he asked her out. It was possible that only a great evil would cause him to dare such an impactful thing and he wasn't exactly waiting for the day that it would happen. He dreaded the day, as it could change his life forever. It wasn't that he didn't want the change at all, but he feared the change that would not turn out well for him. If he could never see her again that would snuff out the brightest light in his life. He was far from ready to deal with that option.

Yet she made sweet, sweet promises that melted his heart and almost made him believe that the love he invisioned could possibly be real. That she could be the one he'd spend his life with, willingly and with full dedication. The one he'd live for, rather than die for. Considering his life and his mental health, that was about the biggest compliment in the world to him. To have people he was willing to go through anything at all for. He longed for her in all ways he could imagine and a vision was planted in his brain of her in a beautiful white dress, smiling at him. It was his hope and dream for that to become a reality one day, even after everything they'd gone through.

Gus smiled brightly and grinned as he reached for the top drawer. He was intensely curious if that was a joke or reality. Did she really follow him and collect the magazines? Would she be tempted to believe even half of the stories they wrote about him? Was she curious about his music? Did she know that she was one of his two muses? His head was almost spinning with all the options in both it being true or false. The idea stopped short rather quickly when she started talking potions. He understood some of the basic but it wasn't his strongest suit and to hear her speak with knowledge and passion was incredibly attractive to him. His eyes almost devoured her as she was distracted, speaking of her passion. All he wanted to do was walk over and kiss her, but naturally he couldn't exactly do that. He contented himself with admiring her while she was distracted, daydreams of a better life threatening to break through.

But the mood turned serious in a matter of seconds as she made her observations on the wizarding world that he wasn't exactly proud of. He had every advantage he might have dreamt off. He was from a rich pureblood family with fame to boot and he still didn't make enough of an impact. He knew how people were treated and above all he tried to write his music to inspire people to be better. To actually treat the demi-humans, muggleborn and those afflicted with illness like full people rather than those of lesser value. If he'd learned one thing from both his time with his parents in the pureblood circles and amazing people such as Sienna, it was the people had value, not blood. He walked over to her and gave her a quick hug. "You're right. You shouldn't have to hide who you are. You should be allowed to be proud of where you come from without having to worry what that means for your health or safety." He said as he peered into the cauldron. He couldn't help but be curious.

Then she apologised and he laughed softly. "Don't worry about it. I love seeing your passion. You make the world a better place. When you act, the things you do affect us all." He checked his watch for a moment, just to ensure he wasn't going to be late for his recording. He'd booked studio time that day and his manager would give him hell if he'd be late. He'd take it all for her, but he didn't really want his career to suffer just because he was head over heals in love. He wasn't quite ready to leave, but he could always return after his studio time was up again. The advantages of a slightly more flexible schedule.

Sienna Aurélie Linslee

[Sienna Aurélie Linslee]

The mood had definitely dimmed after Sienna brought up her side project, but she couldn’t feel more than half-sorry about it. It was true that she enjoyed the unique dynamic she shared with Gus – teasing words wrapped up in implications and insinuations that would burn her mind if she thought too hard about what it all meant. But at the core of their relationship was a deep connection that would always transcend the romantic. He knew everything about her, all the little things she would never dare share with other wizards, and there was no topic that was ever off-limits. It was a level of trust she’d never reached with anyone else, and it was a big deal – in these chaotic times, having someone you could trust and confide in could make all the difference. And it warmed her inside to know that it was a reciprocated relationship, and she could always at least count on that.

As Gus crossed the distance between them, Si allowed herself to melt into his embrace and bury her head in his chest. It was easy to forget about the world for a few seconds like that. When she pulled away slightly to look into his face, she whispered, “Merci beaucoup, Gus. That means so much from you.” She had hopes for the future that she kept hidden safe from most people, but Gus knew about all of them. Her own personal ambitions to be recognized for her potions work, to create a potion that could change people’s lives. And more recently, a level of integration and acceptance for the periphery of the magical community that still didn’t quite exist. Lately, those two dreams had begun to merge together, and Si wondered if she was being too hopeful in her own ability to change anything. What could one person do, anyway?

Those thoughts came to a halt as she watched Gus check his watch, and her face fell slightly. “Time to go?” Sienna fought to keep the disappointment out of her voice, but it was to be expected anyway. As much as they could talk and tease about it, he wasn’t just hers, and he had many people depending on him. And she had her job – that little thing that paid her paychecks and kept her working longer and longer hours. As many forces as there were out there keeping them together, there were still enough obligations that forced them apart for good lengths of time. Still, the end of this encounter didn’t have to mean the absolute end. She could take advantage of that.

So Sienna pasted a smile on her face and kept her tone as light as she could. “Why don’t you run off to wherever you need to go and come back later?” she suggested, injecting the usual teasing quality to her tone. “After work, we could hide out at my flat. I could cook dinner, there could be a whole bowl of apples involved…” she trailed off and felt her smile fade into a more natural smirk. She knew his habits, after all, and it was easy to play to that strength. Si wouldn’t put it past his team to have arranged a packed schedule from now until summer to capitalize on his rising star value, but she could make her own offer tempting enough. As reluctant as she was to put space between them, Sienna placed a hand on his chest and lightly pushed him away. “If that sounds alright to you, then hurry back, mon ange.”

@auguste
[End post Si!]

[Deleted]

Sometimes he hated being on the clock. Sunday mornings, Friday evenings, Monday in total and any moment that he was with Sienna. She made it seem like time itself would pause if only he might wish hard enough for it to happen. To steal all the moments and live in a pocket in time with her in endless bliss. Well, if he ever managed to confess how he actually truly felt about her. It seemed that today wasn't that day, even though he'd been tempted to do so from the moment he set foot inside the shop. From the second his eyes beheld her. It was like that every single time. He just wanted to go back to the beginning and try it all over again and this time not mess up. They'd been stuck now, for such a long time. And all because they got the start wrong. Perhaps one day he could find a way to try it all over again and get it right this time. One last try and this time he'd get the ending right.

Curse watches, to begin with. He had to ensure he wouldn't be late but she had keen eyes and was quick to notice their time was running out. She even sounded a little disappointed, which broke his heart a little. Time was never enough. He sighed deeply and looked her in the eyes. "Almost. I'm afraid I don't have as much time as I might want." He admitted soberly. They both knew that their jobs would ask them to retreat and go back to a more distant state of being and that was that. He was certain of one thing though. He loved her, and as he couldn't keep it hidden forever. It got harder and harder every single time he met up with her.

But her invitation for him to come back after he had fulfilled his obligations made his heart soar. "Studio." He said with an almost apologetic shrug. But then she started dangling his weakness in front of him and he just blinked a few times. He would have come already but her promise of home made dinner and apples made it impossible to consider saying no. She knew that and was playing dirty. He absolutely loved it. A sly smile spread over his face. "Applesauce? Applepie? Applecrumble? Candied Apples? Apple turnover? Apple strudel? Baked apple? Caramel Apple?" He listed a few apple dishes that popped into his head, his eyes lighting up like those of a kid in a candy store. Apples were the only thing he loved as much as Sienna and both of it was just sheer perfection. "It sounds perfect. I'll be back before you know it." He said then and quickly kissed her forehead before half running out of the shop in order to make it on time to his appointment, but also in hopes of being able to hurry back to her sooner.

Sienna Aurélie Linslee
[end post Gus]