to think i found you finally [anna]

[Deleted]

19 april, 2025

It was Oscar's birthday. His nineteenth birthday, to be exact. It was an occasion that probably warranted celebration, so Oscar had taken the day off from his work assignment so he could explore some of Wizarding Britain. While in Diagon Alley he had seen a flier for a flower festival, and decided that was as good a place as any to wander around. He found himself getting a headache from staying in Diagon Alley for too long, anyways, though he couldn't place why that was. Sure, the place was loud, but it was no louder than any other locale he frequented. Still, random headaches had been happening to him for the past few months - it seemed like the strangest things triggered them, and Oscar couldn't help but wonder if it had something to do with the feeling he constantly had, that something was missing.

The throbbing in his temples had abated slightly when he Apparated to the location of the festival, which was a welcome relief. He adjusted his robes slightly before moving towards the area where there were vendors. The small apartment he was in for the week he was in Britain was rather drab, and maybe some flowers would liven it up. It could be his birthday present to himself, since he didn't want (or particularly need) anything else. Except for maybe a little peace, but if that was something he could give himself, Oscar wouldn't have bothered waiting for his birthday to do it. He meandered closer to the vendors, turning down an aisle full of flowers.

The flowers were beautiful, but they weren't what immediately drew Oscar's attention. Ahead of him was a woman - a woman with red hair. Oscar's brow furrowed slightly. Along with the emptiness in his head there were just snatches of picture - figures dancing behind a veil, just out of his reach. One of the most common ones he saw was red hair whirling past him. Red hair in sunlight, red hair in moonlight, red hair in candlelight - but always red hair. That exact shade of red hair. He wanted to step forward, to ask the woman who she was and why on earth he felt like he knew her, but that would just be strange, wouldn't it? Instead, he stared.

@annelise

[Deleted]

Anna had the day off of training, so she could go to the flower festival. She wasn't entirely sure why they cancelled training, but she wondered if it might have to do with the fact that today was Oscar's birthday. While Anna tried to not talk about it and had somehow kept word out of the press so far, she was still nervous about them finding out. She didn't want more reminders, even though this day was a reminder. She woke up thinking about him, about all the things she would have done to celebrate with him, but couldn't. He was gone. She needed to accept that. 

So she went to the festival. Anna liked flowers, sure, but she went more as a distraction. She hoped that maybe she'd be able to run into someone that she could have fun with. Someone who could make her forget why she was so sad today. So far she hadn't seen anyone she really wanted to talk with. At least the flowers were pretty. She could enjoy those. 

Then the hairs on the back of her neck stood up and Anna had the feeling that someone was watching her. She turned around, trying to be discreet when she saw a familiar face. The blood drained from her face and she stared at him. "Oscar?" she breathed, sure that she was imaging him. But ... he was staring at her. She hurried toward him, her eyes wide and a hopeful smile on her face as she made her way through the crowd. "Oscar?" This time her voice was louder as she approached him reaching to touch his shoulder gently, to make sure she wasn't just seeing things. 

@oscar

[Deleted]

She said his name. That didn’t make sense, because there was no way he could have known her –

Monsieur Gauthier, you will be joining the Beauxbatons delegation to Hogwarts this year – The Champion for Hogwarts is Molly Weasley – Anna, would you like to go to the Yule Ball with me? – I am never not thinking about you – the sky was burning and he was falling, falling towards the water – How could I not? Marry me – a beach at sunrise.

His head hurt.

The woman with the read hair said his name again, and she was walking towards him, pale-faced. She reached out and touched his shoulder. Oscar flinched away from the hand, familiar and unfamiliar at once. He knew her but he didn’t. There were flashes of a life spinning around and around in his head, but there was no way it was his life. He would’ve remembered these things happening, wouldn’t he? Wouldn’t he have remembered going to an entirely different country, being given the chance to compete in the Triwizard Tournament? He remembered his fall from the sky – he had the scar to prove it – but in his head the context was… vanished. Everything and nothing made sense.

“Who are you?” Oscar’s voice cracked. Two names had come up on the endless carousel of memories, but they weren’t the same name and it didn’t make any sense. He wanted this to make sense, he wanted someone to sit down and explain to him what the hell was happening – but he wasn’t going to get that, so his question was a good place to start.

@annelise

[Deleted]

It was Oscar. The closer she got, the more sure she was of that fact. She knew his face. Knew the exact shade of his eyes and his posture, but the look on his face was the weirdest thing. He wasn't smiling at her and he didn't look happy to see her. He just looked confused. When she touched him hesitantly, he pulled away quickly and her eyebrows furrowed as she frowned. Something was wrong. 

He asked who she was. Anna's jaw dropped and she tried to fight the hurt that stabbed at her heart. This had to be Oscar, but how did he not know who she was? How did he not recognize her and WHY wasn't he hugging her tight and promising he'd never leave her again "I'm Anna," she told him. "Or, I guess Molly Annelise ... Weasley." Gauthier. She bit her bottom lip to keep herself from adding the last name. He didn't know who she was. She wouldn't freak him out any more than she probably already was. "Don't you remember me?" Anna added softly, her tone pleading. He couldn't have forgotten her. Please, she'd already been through enough. 

@oscar

[Deleted]

He wasn’t expecting the reaction he got to his question. Why did she looked so shocked? Oscar took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. She said her name was Anna, which matched with a tiny fragment of his memory – though he still had no idea what the Yule Ball was – and then corrected that her name was Molly Annelise. So she was the Champion for Hogwarts in the Triwizard Tournament, which he had apparently gone to? Oscar resisted the urge to shake his head, as if that could somehow clear the memories that were somehow trapped in there.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t.” It wasn’t the whole truth, but how was Oscar supposed to explain to this woman that he dreamed about her – or rather, her hair? Even if she knew him (and it seemed she did, since she had called him by his name) wouldn’t it be strange to be told someone dreamed of you? He cleared his throat, unsure what to do next. “Should I? Remember you?” Maybe if he knew how they knew each other, Oscar could figure out what was going on here. Or maybe it would just confuse him further. Oscar massaged the bridge of his nose gingerly, trying to beat back the headache which was once again threatening to consume him.

@annelise

[Deleted]

Anna's lip trembled, but she nodded when he said he didn't remember her. Okay, that made sense, since he was treating her like a complete stranger. Why was that? What in the world happened that made him forget her? How could she have such bad luck? Not only did she lose her husband just after a few months of being married, but he forgot her entirely. 

She didn't know what to say to him. He was obviously confused and felt awkward. Maybe she should just go away and let him be. He didn't know who she was. Then he was asking if she should remember her. "Yes," Anna tried to sound normal, but her voice cracked. "We became best friends at the Triwizard Tournament. Then we dated." And got married. She didn't want to make it seem like she was trying to push him into a relationship though. She just didn't know what to say to him. 

@oscar

[Deleted]

Marry me. Marry me. Marry me. The words kept echoing in his head, in his own voice. He wanted to ask Anna if they had gotten married, but since he was pretending not to remember he at all… but Oscar needed to know, if for no other reason than his own sanity. Oscar removed his hand from his nose and slipped a look he hoped was surreptitious down to Anna’s left hand. On her ring finger, there were two rings, engagement and wedding both. Oscar looked back up at Anna, but before he could meet her eyes again, his gaze caught on a chain around her neck, and a ring matching hers looped on it.

“That’s mine.” He lifted a shaking hand, pointing to the ring on her necklace. “Isn’t it?” He didn’t know how he knew, but the ring belonged to him. It had to, didn’t it? The ring was simple, which was strange – Oscar was a metal charmer, after all, wouldn’t he have done something about that? Unless… he hadn’t always been a metal charmer? Frustration was beginning to mount in Oscar’s chest, alongside… fear? He didn’t know if that was quite the right word. It seemed unfair, though – he had lost so much and apparently he had a life here, and he had lost that, too.

@annelise

[Deleted]

Anna wasn't sure how long she could keep this conversation going. She loved him. She loved Oscar Gauthier, and he didn't remember a thing about her. She could tell. From the way he looked at her with that confused way and the questions he asked her. He didn't know who she was and Anna just wanted to run home and throw herself on her bed and sob. How was she supposed to come back from something like this? Maybe she could talk to Uncle Harry about it, since her aunt had some memory problems too. 

She closed her eyes, biting her lip to help keep her composure when he broke their gaze. She had no idea he was looking at her hand, that he noticed her wedding rings, or the one around her neck. Her eyes opened, confused when he said that something was his, then asking for confirmation. His wedding ring. Anna automatically reached up to touch it, eyes staring into his. How did he know that? She nodded at his words, her voice sounding strained when she answered him. "It is." Okay, so maybe he put the pieces together and realized that they were married. She still couldn't say it. "You ... you don't remember anything about me?" Anna asked, desperately hoping for him to remember her. 

@oscar

[Deleted]

She reached up to touch the ring when he asked about it, and Oscar had to resist the urge to grab for it, too. It belonged to him, and there was a part of him – a large part, in fact – that wanted it. He could just slip on the ring and become the person Anna thought he was. A husband, a friend, someone who did more than just go to work every day and come home every night and hope that someone, somewhere, noticed him that day. If only it were that easy.

“I don’t know,” Oscar answered when Anna asked if he remembered anything. “Have you ever had a dream, and when you woke up the next morning, you couldn’t remember anything about the dream except how it made you feel?” That was almost what this was like. Beneath all the confusion and frustration and fear, there was a feeling of peace and calm Oscar couldn’t explain. Or rather, he could explain it – obviously, a version of him had loved Anna immensely, to have married her – but he didn’t know why he felt that. It seemed cruel to give her hope and say he remembered snatches of her. And, of course, he remembered her hair. Of all things to remember about this life and the woman who was apparently his wife, he had to remember her hair. Oscar would’ve laughed, if it didn’t hurt so much. Leave it to him to only remember hair.

@annelise

[Deleted]

Anna's heart sank when he admitted that he didn't know if he remembered anything. She nodded to show she understood when he tried to explain herself, but the thing was ... it was hard to understand. She could hardly believe that she was standing here at the flower festival, Oscar right in front of her, but his arms weren't around her. He wasn't even holding her hand or smiling at her. She could have been any random person in the crowd and that hurt. "How does this make you feel?" she asked softly. She couldn't read him anymore. Anna didn't know if he wanted to talk to her or if he'd rather she go.

After a moment she shook her head, lifting her hands to unclasp her necklace. She took the ring off, offering it to him, someone who was now all but a stranger. "You should have this. It's yours." Anna forced a smile, though her heart felt like it was being torn in two. She didn't want to part with his ring. Considering the circumstances, it was like she was giving him up. The last thing she wanted to do. "Don't worry, I'm not ... I mean, I don't expect everything to ... be the same." Ugh, why was it so hard to talk to him? She shook her head at herself, holding the ring out further, closer to him. "Take it," she encouraged softly. 

@oscar

[Deleted]

How did it make him feel? It had been a long time since someone had asked him how he was feeling, and it took Oscar longer than it should’ve to respond. “Good, I think. Like coming home.” He swallowed hard. “But I do not know why.” He didn’t want Anna to think – Merlin, he didn’t even know what he wanted her to think, or not think. He didn’t want to leave, but it seemed wrong to stay, too. Oscar began thinking of excuses, reasons to leave and spare them both the heartbreak of looking at someone they didn’t know, not really, when Anna reached up and unclasped the necklace.

She offered him the ring, and all Oscar could do was stare at it. If he took it, what would that mean? Not taking it didn’t seem like an option. He felt sick when he thought about denying the ring. It would mean denying a part of himself, even if it was a part he didn’t remember. On Anna’s second insistence he take the ring, Oscar reached out and plucked it from her hand. Something inside him whispered he should put it on, but Oscar didn’t. He tucked it into the pocket of his robe, clearing his throat. “Thank you.” Both for the ring and not expecting things to be the same. “I… do not know what we do now.” Walking away no longer seemed like the best idea, but Oscar was lost.

@annelise

[Deleted]

He said he thought it felt good, like coming home. But he didn't know why. Anna wanted to say she did, but she didn't want to tell him how to feel. The thing was, they were home to one another for a year. At least, Oscar was her home. When she was with him, she felt peaceful and relaxed and content. He always knew what to say to make her smile and calm her. Her eyes started to water and Anna blinked furiously to push the tears back. She could cry in front of her Oscar, but this wasn't him and she didn't want to make him uncomfortable, trying to deal with a crying woman. "If you want, we could talk," Anna offered softly. "I could answer any questions you have or just tell you about ... us." Why was she offering to do this? Wouldn't it just hurt more? But she couldn't help herself. 

It was bittersweet when he took the ring. It was his, belonged with him, but the other version of him. The one that loved her. Seeing him tuck it in his pocket almost made Anna start crying, but she held it in. She'd have plenty of time for tears later. She nodded when he thanked her, then started to worry that he'd want to leave. He was confused. Surely he wouldn't want to stay with her long. "We can ... look at the flowers if you want." Though maybe walking around with him would be harder than him leaving. She'd want to hold his hand, make jokes to him, and act like normal, but it wasn't normal anymore. Nothing was. 

@oscar

[Deleted]

Anna offered to answer his questions about their relationship, or simply tell him about what they had been through together. “I would not know what to ask.” Except for if he had had a fascination with her hair, but that wasn’t an appropriate question for the moment. “Will it not… hurt?” He asked quietly. If tomorrow he found his mother on the street and she didn’t remember him, it would be like being ripped in two. Being asked to recount their history together would’ve been just as bad. Oscar didn’t want Anna to hurt on his account.

“We can look at the flowers,” Oscar repeated, agreeing with her. He was realizing that what he said earlier about not knowing what to ask wasn’t entirely true. He had too many questions and no way to organize them. Oscar reached out to trace the petals of a flower – he thought maybe it was a daisy, but he hardly knew flower names in French, let alone English – with the tip of his finger. “When we were married, were there many flowers?” He didn’t know if that was a good question to ask, or if he ought to have started from the beginning instead of the end, but the words were out there now. There was no way to take them back.

@annelise

[Deleted]

Anna nodded when he said that he wouldn't know what to ask. That made sense, since he didn't really remember anything about them. Or rather, since he didn't remember anything about her. Then he asked if talking about them would hurt. Anna smiled softly, touched by his concern. "I've had worse," she answered, though she wasn't entirely sure if that was true. Still, she could tell that Oscar didn't want to hurt her, so she would pretend like she was fine. She didn't want to make him feel guilty over hurting someone he didn't even know anymore

He agreed that they could look at the flowers and Anna smiled, turning her attention to the flowers beside them as she stared to walk. She touched them gently, her mind focused on the man beside her. The man who'd forgotten all about her. At his question, she turned to look at him, her smile turning reminiscent. "Yes, there were lots of flowers. They were all white ones." She'd always liked the contrast of white flowers with her hair. All those months ago, Oscar seemed to agree. "We got married on a beach," Anna added, not knowing why she said it. 

@oscar

[Deleted]

Something in Oscar’s chest pinched when Anna smiled at him. It was like the part of him that knew her was trying to break out, and it hurt. Oddly, though, the hurt wasn’t all bad. Maybe that was what Anna was talking about when she said she felt worse pain – this hurt, but the hurt was somehow good, too. Still, it didn’t make Oscar feel any better to know she had somehow gone through something that was worse than losing her husband, and then having said husband show back up again without memory of her. “Worse does not mean this does not also cause you pain.” He still wasn’t sure what he wanted to do. Being the cause of hurt wasn’t something that sat well with Oscar, but Anna was so focused on him…

“At sunrise?” Oscar asked before he could help himself. He remembered a beach, but he couldn’t say whether that was his wedding day or just some other day he happened to be at the beach. It was funny, that he would get married on a beach when Oscar hated water. Maybe Anna had wanted to – or maybe he had been trying to face his fear.

@annelise