Drinking in the afternoon (Lily)

[Deleted]

Well, graduation day had come. There was a time when Adrian didn't think he'd make it, but since quitting Quidditch and focusing on school things changed. He didn't want to spend another year at school. Or leave and not have credibility for the job he wanted. He worked really hard, and now he was here. He had spoken to Lily about her grades, but more casually than trying to change anything about her... he was sure she'd be fine. Right...?

He was lining up with the other Gryffindors, getting ready to walk. Things were... unsteady here at Hogwarts. Since the news of the British Isles being quarantined had been released, things were tense at Hogwarts. The Americans wanted to go home and could not, and most of them couldn't even see their parents. Things were... to put it lightly... incredibly messy.

Adrian straightened his robes, smiling and then frowning every time he saw red hair but then it wasn't her. Where was she? It was almost time to go out?

And then she turned the corner.

His jaw dropped. He left his spot in the line and ran over to her. "Lily... Lily why aren't you in your robes?"

lily luna potter

[lily luna potter]

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There had already been meetings about the situation she had found herself in, both prior to and following final exams. Lily had failed too many of her classes and the school couldn’t look the other way. The only way they could have done that was if she passed with flying colors on each exam, which they all knew wasn’t going to happen even if she did give it her all. That was impossible considering she was still struggling with subjects from the fall term. So an agreement was struck between the school, her parents, and herself: repeat seventh year. There was a point in time where she would have protested and made a scene about the whole thing, now unable to graduate and join her friends in the workforce, but that didn’t happen at all. She accepted the decision and made arrangements to come back for her eighth year at Hogwarts – knowing that it would make her look bad and cause more than enough whispers about her family. Having Hogwarts usher her on just to get rid of her would have been worse though, so there were some silver linings in the whole situation.

The problem was that she didn’t want to be seen anywhere near the graduation or end of the year ceremonies because everyone would know. Having at least the summer to mentally prepare for whatever was to come would be better than humiliating herself now. So none of her friends knew, not even Adrian, though more than a few probably had an inkling that something was off. They were all more astute than she was and had been trying to push her to get higher grades, but by the time they stepped in it was too late and would only end up being detrimental to their own studies.

While it was beyond embarrassing, she got the courage to walk down to the Great Hall and see if she could watch a bit of the ceremony without being spotted. Hovering in the hallway near the lines of graduates that she should have been at the lead of, only one perceptive pair of eyes spotted her as she peaked around the corner, and by then it was too late. Adrian was out of his line and headed in her direction, visibly confused on why she wasn’t dressed in her robes like everyone else was. Trying to dismiss his concern with a grin and a shrug of her shoulders, it was impossible to hold eye contact with him and retreated behind the corner once again as he arrived in front of her. “I uhhh…forgot where I put them?” she attempted to lie, knowing that the tone in which it came out of her that he would see right through it. Still trying to avoid looking at him, she bit down on her lower lip while thinking about how she could easily break the news to him. “I tried, I really did Adrian. But uhh, it wasn’t enough to walk…”

@adrian ● 499 ● Blacktop by Julien Baker

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[Deleted]

She hid from him, first of all, which meant that something bad was happening. Even though she gave a shrug of her shoulders, she wouldn't meet his eyes. Then she said she forgot where she put them and he folded his arms dramatically, harshly, a classic symbol of unconsciously closing himself off. But... when she but down on her lip he knew something was wrong. His arms slowly unfolded again as the words she was saying ran through him. She tried, she really did, but she wasn't graduating.

His immediate reaction was guilt. Because he had always taken up so much of her time. Because he loved her, he didn't let her work as hard as she could, right? Cordelia mentioned she was struggling and Adrian just believed that Lily could pull through. He barely tried to help her at all. To be fair, he was having a hard enough time focus on school work himself. It took almost all his concentration to get through an assignment. She knew that. She wasn't blaming him.

He looked down now, shaking his head and absently rubbed his palms on his robes at his sides. "You... you're staying here. While I'm out there. You'll be... here," he was having a hard time wrapping his head around it. Dating someone in your own year had this nice perk of not... having to break up due to one of you... still being at school... that was a dumb reason to break up anyway, right?

He cleared his throat, looking to the side, now unable to make eye contact with her. 

lily luna potter

[lily luna potter]

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Adrian was the first person to put her situation into words other than her parents or Professor McGonagall. He didn’t seem to be getting it right away, or maybe he was refusing to believe her. That totally made sense to her. So much of her life was a joke, flippantly bouncing from one thing to the next, never treating any part of it serious. Lily felt guilty in that moment, knowing that she could have prevented all of this if she had buckled down and really given her classes a shot. There were plenty of students that had graduated that were worse off with their grades than she normally was, but this time she had really done it. Her previous blubber about having tried to get back into passing shape would give away how much she really hadn’t tried. She did, at one point, but it was too late by then. Seeing the writing on the wall at that point, it was better to at least show like she cared so her parents wouldn’t outright scold her. They did anyways – rightfully so.

“Yeah…one more year. Again.” The finality of the statement coupled with Adrian looking away from her really hurt, making her step back and away from him. “I really screwed up this time, didn’t I?” she asked, wanting to hear it from someone other than herself for once. Everything with her parents and the school had been about setting plans to make her efficiently pass next year. There was the collective disappointment somewhere in there, but she wasn’t oblivious to the fact that it seemed like they had a feeling this was coming. But with Adrian? She felt the shame of it all now.

@adrian ● 285 ● A message To Myself by Roo Panes

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[Deleted]

She said 'one more year' and he felt his stomach drop. 'Again'. Again. She stepped back, saying that she really screwed up... or rather, asking. "You..." he sighed. He was expecting the anger to envelop him but the strange thing was... it was guilt. He the necessary steps forward to reach out in an attempt to place both hands on her shoulders. His eyes softened even if his brow was furrowed. "This isn't only your fault. Plus, you lost your dad and I left and then I came back and I shouldn't have put you through everything that I did and I should have been there. I worked so hard to get here and I should have brought you along with me. This is my fault," he swallowed hard, gripping her shoulders a little tighter.

He looked down for a second and then back up at her face. "I wish I could stay here with you. Really, I can't," he furrowed his entire face and gripped her shoulders a a little tighter. "Just don't stay. Come with me. What do you need to graduate for anyway?"

lily luna potter

[lily luna potter]

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Even though she tried to leave, Adrian caught her, his hands coming down onto her shoulders. Lily stopped her retreat, knowing that she was locked in to whatever he had to say now. He was either going to agree with her, and wring her out for being a blockhead (and failing without him), or take the easy route. She had no idea which it would.

And somehow, as he answered, he made it seem like this was all of his fault. Even went as far as to place the blame on himself for it. That wasn’t what she wanted. If she had thought this was any of his doing, she wouldn’t have been hiding from admitting it to him. Lily shook her head as he continued, trying to say that she really didn’t need to graduate.

“I have to. If I don’t come back, it’ll be like I didn’t learn my lesson…” Her hands reached out for him as she admitted that. It was a step in the direction of maturity for her, though she still had to prove to everyone that she could actually do it. “And none of it’s your fault. I let myself go too far.” She knew she wouldn’t have listened to the warnings if Adrian had tried to convince her that she was going to fail. This was an inevitable fate, unfortunately.

@adrian ● 227 ● Obsession by Lorna Shore

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[Deleted]

She shook her head and he wanted to keep going but he stopped, not letting his babbling get ahead of him as it had so many times before when she could have been studying or doing something more important than spending time with him. Insecurity was not normally one of Adrians traits, so why was this hitting him so hard? She said she had to say, saying that it would be like she didn't learn her lesson. She reached out for him and he moved in, sliding his arms off her shoulders so one arm could wrap around her back and the other could move to the back of her head. He cradled her hair and pulled her in, like somehow he could just crush all the fear and insecurity he was feeling by holding onto her. She said that it wasn't his fault, that she let herself go too far and he shook his head. He kissed the top of her head and pressed his lips there for a moment in silence.

After another breath or three, he spoke again, his tone growing softer. "I guess people do this all the time, right? We can do this. Unless it's too hard for you," he swallowed hard again, choking slightly on the next words, "but if it's too hard to be here without me I understand. I know you aren't crazy about being apart and all and I'm sure you'd have more... fun... without worrying about me," woah, what the hell?

lily luna potter

[lily luna potter]

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Having him hold onto her was the reassurance Lily knew she needed, but was afraid she wasn’t going to get. It was an unreasonable thought, looking back on it, but that was the frame of mind she had been in only a few minutes earlier. When the possibilities were of virtually anything happening, she got scared. Fighting it head on like this was obviously the best now that she had hindsight. The weight of the fear from having to tell Adrian was seemingly lifted off her shoulders, and the slow trickle of tears in her eyes were of relief. This had been a whole lot easier than she thought it would be! And a lot less crying too!

She nodded her head in agreeance when Adrian mused that this was a common thing, and she took the chance to dry her eyes off. Except he added that it didn’t have to continue if it would be too difficult. Lily looked up at him in confusion. Where was this suddenly coming from? This wasn’t anything close to how Adrian normally acted. Sure, he could push and pull against her at times, but this was like a full on personality switch for him. Like when he left Hogwarts last time without saying anything to her. At least this time he was vocalizing it instead of putting it into a letter. “What are you trying to say?” she asked, even though that wasn’t the question she wanted to ask him in the first place. She wanted to give him reassurance in return for what he had just done. Not continue to poke at whatever was eating away at him.

@adrian ● 276 ● Bare by Rosie Carney

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[Deleted]

When she looked up at him Adrian had a hard time meeting her gaze. Honestly? He was terrified. Lily was a physical being, and if her boyfriend wasn't anywhere near her then wouldn't she want to find somebody else? She asked what he was trying to say and he moved his hands to the sides of her neck, holding her chin to lift her face even more towards his. "I don't want you to give up on me just because we're not here together. I'm..." he groaned in frustration, pulling his hands back and pressing his palms against his eyes. Then he chuckled and lowered his hands, "I'm scared of losing you because of this, okay? So that's why I think it's my fault, because maybe I held on to tightly and I should have let you... I don't know what I'm saying. It's an emotional day, I guess," he dropped his hands to his sides. "I love you. I'm frustrated, maybe a little mad, guilty. But I love you. So whatever you need to do just keep me in the loop?" Weird, weird.

lily luna potter

[lily luna potter]

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That was his concern? If he wasn’t being completely serious right now, she probably would have laughed at him and called him an idiot. Lily let out the breath she had been holding in while waiting for his answer, another wave of relief immediately washing over her. She was starting to think she should have told him about this a few days ago instead of like, ten minutes before actual graduation. That was definitely on her.

She wanted to interject to quell his concerns, but he kept talking, explaining in further detail his actual worries about him graduating and her having to stay for another year. Lily understood – she had been the same way when he up and left last year. But this was different, and certainly none of it was his fault for her failing all of her classes. Sure, there were times where she could have been studying and instead they were snogging. But that wasn’t any different from the year before that, was it? This time she dropped the ball, plain and simple.

“I didn’t give up on you when you left for America. Yeah, it pissed me off, but I never gave up,” she finally responded after he finished his piece. “I love you too, Adrian,” she said as she leaned up to kiss him. “And don’t worry, you’re the only idiot that would want to date a loser eighth year student anyways,” she snickered as she pulled away from him. Now that she was back to normal, he had to get there too. Because he still had to walk for graduation! Thank Merlin she didn’t have to worry about that for another year.

@adrian ● 278 ● Scott Street by Phoebe Bridgers

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[Deleted]

She said that she didn't give up on him when he left, which made his heart sink. He gave up on her, because - like now - he was scared. So that was on him. Still, he liked hearing that she never gave up. That was an amazing feeling. Just that she cared about him that much. She said she loved him too, kissed him, and assured him that he was the only idiot that would 'want to date a loser eighth year student anyways'. He chuckled too, letting her pull away of course. "You've got a good point. And no one else would want to date a reckless dragon wrangler either, which is what I'm gonna do," he shrugged. "SO we're stuck together. Hey, wait, wait," he reached out to take her hand and pulled her back, leaning forward to kiss her one more time. The other students were clearly getting instructions, he could hear the Professors telling people to get ready. But he kissed her in quite a lengthy fashion, to the point that he had to take in a breath through his nose because he didn't want to take his lips from hers yet. He still felt... sad, maybe even guilty still, but the most important thing was that this wasn't going to change anything between them.

"Honestly," he started, kissing her one more time before continuing, "maybe the long distance will make the times we get together even better, because... you know... distance and time apart and shit," he smirked.

"Adrian Lange!? Get over here!" he heard someone call out. He flipped his head around, releasing her hand to straighten up. He turned back to her, "how do I look?"

lily luna potter

[lily luna potter]

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Did he just say dragon wrangler! Lily’s mouth dropped open, this being the first she had heard about the job that he was going to try for. That was perfect, because she knew loads about dragons too! At least she did from the picture books her Uncle Charlie always gave her for Christmas present. Those were the best books ever. “I’ve got three cousins because someone wanted my uncle,” Lily pointed out, though none of them followed in Uncle Charlie’s footsteps which was a total bummer. If her own grades were decent enough in COMC next year, maybe he would give her an internship or something. Then she would be able to keep the job in the family and be with Adrian whenever she wanted. The schemes starting to form in her head had her absentmindedly pulling away from Adrian, and she only realized this when he pulled her back in for another kiss. Wait, wait indeed! There were more important things going on today than her endgame career. She still had a year for that. Again.

“You’re a real Casanova, Adrian,” Lily teased, timing it perfectly as his name was yelled out at him from somewhere up ahead in the hallway. He asked her how he looked, straightening up in front of her. She tugged on the front of his robe, as if that was going to make it more even than it already was. “Dashing. I think you’ll knock ‘em all dead when you get your paper thingy from McGonagall.” Lily patted his shoulder a few times, before trying to turn him around to get him walking in the direction he had to go. They were both supposed to be up there today, and the guilt of having Adrian do it on his own began to creep back up on her as the ceremony got closer to starting. She bit down on her lower lip to keep her voice from shaking as she gave him another push in the back. “I’ll whistle really loud when you get up there, okay?” She had already picked out her seat all the way in the back, wanting to avoid unwanted questions and glares from the parents of other graduates. Last one in, first one out. “Good luck!” One last hug from behind and another push, and Lily ran off towards the guest area, leaving Adrian behind.

[Lily End]

@adrian ● 395 ● How Long by Roo Panes

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[Deleted]

She said she had three cousins because someone wanted her dragon wrangling uncle, which was a fair argument. Calling him a Casanova, well... that boosted his ego. She had a way of doing that even if he knew she loved him it still made him feel good every time she complimented him, almost like he hadn't heard it before. “Dashing. I think you’ll knock ‘em all dead when you get your paper thingy from McGonagall.” His goofy smirk turned into a move genuine smile when she said that and he nodded, but then she was turning his back to her and starting to push him forward. For a moment he fought back, just for good measure, laughing.

He heard her voice change slightly when she said she'd whistle really loud for him, wishing him luck and hugging him from behind. He lifted a hand, gently touching the back of hers on his stomach, about to clasp it when she ran off. He turned around to watch her go and, once again, the weight of what this meant crashed into him like a harsh wave. He looked down at his uniform, then straight up at the ceiling to blink back what was threatening to come from his eyes. There was a small part of him that was scared.

Okay, maybe it wasn't that small.

lily luna potter
The End