Modern Loneliness (OPEN)

[Deleted]

TW/CW: Mention of weight loss

September 6, 2025

At any other time, Claricia Freund would have been enjoying the Quidditch off-season. She couldn't say that she was enjoying the direction that her life had taken anymore, however. The long weeks of summer that had followed that last match had been a blur, and she had tried not to drink herself into oblivion. While she knew that she probably could have used a better hobby, she had kept up with her appointments at St. Mungo's. That might not have seemed like much, but it was one of the least destructive things she could do.

And, Merlin's beard, was she miserable. "Reclusive" wasn't a word that would have described her previously, but it was so much easier to stay home. The most she had gone anywhere was to purchase groceries—usually with sunglasses on all the while. Besides that, what was there to do? Taking potions took effort that she didn't have, and socializing meant the risk that she would get cameras shoved in her face.

By September, she was close to booking the next available Portkey to Germany—Freiburg, ideally, but Heidelberg would work in a pinch—and really ignoring her responsibilities. She had lost a noticeable amount of weight over the weeks that she had been practically in hiding, and she hated to look at herself. At least the tabloids had moved on from the match to discuss Viktor Krum's having been elected Minister for Magic. Claricia didn't think that he was the worst choice, but it still meant that Quidditch was brought up all the time.

She didn't know why she bothered, though she actively avoided anywhere where she knew that there would be magical people. It was easier. Muggle London was large enough that she could just… blend in, especially somewhere such as Hyde Park, which was known to locals and tourists alike. The weather wasn't bad as she walked along the length of the Serpentine, and she stopped for a moment to watch the birds on the water.

OOC: OPEN!

[Deleted]

September 6, 20225
@claricia

Clodagh didn't know if she liked or hated being back in London. Liked, because... Well there were people she cared about here! Hated because... Well, because HE was here, and she couldn't bring herself to face him yet. She felt like an absolute failure. She'd left (with his blessing, and encouragement) to go try and break the curse. She couldn't tell him she failed. So, she'd been trying to get back to a semi life of normalcy. Her new "friends" had promised her help, and seemed to understand that she was desperate. They'd promised her that, while it might take a while, they could actually do something. That... That Gaia would help her, free her of this curse. To be honest, Clodagh wasn't religious, but she was desperate and out of options. They were the ones people to actually promise to help her that she felt could actually do something. Though... She was very nervous about their... activities.

Today though, Clodagh was on her own. Not always a good thing, as she tended to get into trouble when left to her own devises. But, she needed an escape. Last night had been pretty rough, and she'd had an equally rough "return to humanity" this morning. Her head was always very jumbled, and foggy, like when you road too many rollercoasters and your brain was thoroughly scrambled. Now though, after a slow start to the day, she'd managed to get going, and decided to go to one of her favorite bakeries. They had this aaaamazing 3 cheese croissants. Strangely, they were never sold out though.... Or maybe they just knew she would show up eventually and want some so they kept a few stashed away for her....

Clodagh had just stepped out of the bakery, paper bag in hand and all giddy at the croissants that she almost didn't realize that she'd just passed someone she vaguely recognized. She stopped, and wracked her brain. Why did that woman look so familiar? After a second, it clicked and she turned around. The woman was still standing there, staring off. "Claricia... Freund? Right?" She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen the older woman. She'd never known her well, or the other Freund girls well because she'd been so much younger then them. But her elder brothers had been close in age to Claricia's sisters. With all the traveling the Fitzpatrick family had done, they knew people from all around the world.

OOC: OH HAI SISTER IN A DIFFERENT UNIVERSE!

[Deleted]

September 6, 2025

"Claricia… Freund? Right?"

Cautiously, Claricia turned her head in the direction of the voice, expecting to find a fan whom she had to calm down before they said or did anything that might break wizarding secrecy. But it wasn't a fan, Claricia realized, nor was it someone else from the Quidditch world. It took her a moment, admittedly, to place how she knew the other woman—probably, it dawned on her, because she hadn't exactly been a woman the last time she'd seen her.

"…Clodagh?" The younger woman had been a family friend from years before, one of the Fitzpatrick children, with her elder brothers closer in age to Claricia's younger sisters. Merlin, it had to have been at least ten or fifteen years since they had seen each other, though Claricia had been playing Quidditch professionally for nearly two decades. She breathed out, glad that it was someone she knew. Even if she hadn't seen her in ages and certainly didn't know Clodagh beyond girlhood, it was like briefly stepping back in time. "How have you been?"

@clodagh

[Deleted]

September 6, 20225
@claricia

Clodagh had been an "oops" child, quite a few years younger than her brothers (though her younger sister was the same. You'd think the Fitzpatrick parents would have learned their lesson the first time!). So, while her brothers had all been in playing age with the Friend girls, she was still a babe. Then, all the kids started going off to school. So, probably the last time Clodagh had seen the Freund family was... what, when she was a fresh faced teenager? Though, it also helped that Claricia Freund was a known name. You know, Quidditch and all that. Clodagh wasn't a big quidditch fan, but you tended to know when people from your childhood made it big.

Clo sheepishly smiled as the older woman recognized her, though just as hesitant as Clodagh had been herself. "Hi." Hi? Really? That was her answer? Ugh. Conversation. Don't blame her though, she still had mouse brain. Then, the dreaded but customary question of how she had been. What was with that question? It was a stupid question. No on ever wanted to hear the real answer. It was just... a reflex. "Oh, uuuh good. Yup. Totally good. Great even. You?" WAIT! NO! She'd heard about the Quidditch match! That was a HORRIBLE QUESTION! Curse you common curtesy that made her return the question!

[Deleted]

September 6, 2025

Clodagh's answer to her felt a little bit forced. She kept revising it, as though she didn't quite know if the answer she had given was what she was going to settle on saying, but she seemed upbeat, at least? Even when she returned her question, Claricia doubted that there was any way that Clodagh didn't actually know what had happened at the Quidditch finals a few months before. If she didn't really follow Quidditch, she still would have known.

Claricia didn't take offense at the question; it was sort of the polite thing to ask someone how they were after they had just asked the same. She could have pretended that everything was fine and that she was doing great, but it would have been a poor excuse for a lie. "Yeah, I've been better," she answered after turning to face Clodagh more clearly. It was the closest thing to admitting that she was miserable that she could say without saying anything more concerning—and more truthful.

She really didn't want to keep the focus on herself, though, and paused. "How are your family doing?" They had lost touch with one another somewhere along the way, but Claricia supposed that it happened. Life got in the way of things sometimes.

@clodagh

[Deleted]

September 6, 20225
@claricia

Clodagh wanted to facepalm herself. Who asked an explosion survivor how they were doing?! What kind of loser was she?! Ugh, Maybe... Maybe she could play it off if Claricia got offended. Yeah, pretend she hadn't been in the country at the time! Like she had nooooo idea about the Quidditch match. Maybe she'd been the deep jungle with no internet! Yeah, that'd work! And totally not crazy, cause the Fitzpatricks had always been on the move growing up. There had been times when they had no access to the outside world! Perfect, great cover story.

Though, Clodagh was saved from trying to attempt to lie, as Claricia's answer was vague and not to overwhelming. "Probably been worse too. So that's good!" Okay, THAT was a stupid blurt out. Clodagh actually winced after she spoke and realized what she said. "Sorry, not like... like that. I mean... It's not raining! That'd be worse, right? And, you know. The quarantine is starting to lift, so... that's better? Totally could be worse." Clodagh shut her mouth fast, her cheeks turning a lovely scarlet from her building embarrassment. Why couldn't she just hold her tongue? But noooo, she had to say stupid things. As a child, her inability to control her speech must have been cute. But as an adult it was most definitely slap worthy.

Clodagh looked away and nervously rubbed her nose, trying to get the blushing to go down, but it didn't. Thankfully, Claricia changed the subject, asking about her family. "Oh, good! You know. Always on the move so I don't always hear from them often. My parents aren't really the settling down type. Last I heard they were going to the Philippines and then New Guinea. But that was a month ago, so maybe they got eaten by something. Everyone else is good though! Emma just graduated. I don't know if you remember her. She was really little last time we were in Germany."

[Deleted]

September 6, 2025

"Probably been worse too. So that's good!" Clodagh said, which Claricia tried to take as some sort of reassurance, along the lines of the "misery loving company" sort of thing. That didn't seem to be it, though, because Clodagh quickly went back on her train of thought. "Sorry, not like… like that. I mean… It's not raining! That'd be worse, right? And, you know. The quarantine is starting to lift, so… that's better? Totally could be worse."

Claricia really tried not to hold Clodagh's comments against her, as awkward and truly uncomfortable as they were, because she could see that Clodagh understood immediately that what she had said might not have been appropriate in that moment.

As for how her family had been, Clodagh answered that they were doing well, though they were still "on the move", as they had been years before. "Last I heard," Clodagh explained to her, "they were going to the Philippines and then New Guinea. But that was a month ago, so maybe they got eaten by something."

Pausing, Claricia didn't know what to do with that information, though she hoped that that wasn't what had happened, of course.

Even having considered such a gruesome possibility, Clodagh remained cheerful. Everyone else was doing well, she assured her. "Emma just graduated. I don't know if you remember her. She was really little last time we were in Germany."

"No! Little baby Emma?" Claricia questioned, her eyes lighting up a little bit more than they had. Had it really been that long? Merlin's beard…

@clodagh

[Deleted]

September 6, 20225
@claricia

Clodagh was definitely a talk first, think later, and probably hit your head again the wall sort of person. She just didn't know when to quit until it was already too late and someone was angry. It'd been causing a whole heap of troubles her entire life. To be honest, there was only a few people she could think of that this trait didn't totally and utterly frustrated. Ophelia, for one. Shockingly Ophelia not only tolerated her speech insanity, but was even willing to living with it. Clodagh had moved back in with her old flatmate when she returned to the country. The other... well... Was Aerick. But he probably didn't like it much now. It'd been a year since they last saw each other...

Thankfully, Claricia didn't make any comments on Clodagh's truly insensitive comments. Nor did she try to slap the girl, so that was a good sign. At least she hadn't insulted her that much. Yet. Also, thankfully, when Claricia did speak it was about about Emma.

Clodagh nodded vigorously at the question. "Not a baby anymore. I'm surprised too! You know, you always expect yourself to age, but then it's weird when people younger than you age too." The same could almost be said about Claricia and herself. The Fitzpatrick girl was at least 10 years younger than Claricia.

[Deleted]

September 6, 2025

Truthfully, Clodagh didn't seem to have much of a filter. That probably could have been said for Claricia, too, when it came to things such as using a stronger choice of words than she probably should have at times, but she wasn't as accustomed to conversing with someone who was so upbeat about it. (Of course, that was probably also because Claricia hadn't come out to Muggle London with the goal of conversation. It was more about just being and maybe finding something to occupy her time so that she wasn't just ruminating on things she couldn't change.)

At least she had a distraction; whether knowingly or not, Clodagh appeared happy to provide one. She said that she, too, was surprised that her younger sister was no longer a baby, which Claricia guessed happened with most people at some point—that moment of taking a step back and realizing that adulthood wasn't just confined to oneself. "You know, you always expect yourself to age, but then it's weird when people younger than you age too," Clodagh commented. Yeah, that.

"What are you doing these days, Clodagh?" Claricia asked, considering that she'd already asked after Clodagh's family. While her parents might have been off in the Philippines (and hopefully not eaten by something there) or wherever it was in the world that they had gone, it had sounded as though Clodagh herself hadn't been traveling near as much.

@clodagh

[Deleted]

September 6, 20225
@claricia

Clodagh was caught up in the nostalgia of growing up now. Her brothers were quite a bit older than her, so it had always been normal to see them get older. But it was also a bit odd to think they were almost all in their 30's now. The only exception being Cullen, who was 29. Emma, bless her soul, was over ten years from the nearest brother, and sixteen from the eldest, Karney. It had always felt natural to think of Emma has a child. Even for Clo, who was seven years older. Now she was wonder what her siblings were currently up to. She hadn't seen them in some time. Probably during the summer, to celebrate Emma's graduation?

Clodagh's train of thought came to an abrupt end when Claricia asked her a question. Clo blinked rapidly, processing the question she'd been unprepared for. What was she doing? Well... a lot, considering. "Oh! I work for Obscurus Books." While she aspired to write more, and technically was an author, most her work came from illustrations. In both cases though she worked under an alias. Because, let's be honest. Clodagh was terrifying of attention and so terribly shy. She wouldn't like people knowing which work was hers. Though... Her siblings knew. They'd grown up with her art and writing, so they'd catch on pretty quick if they tried to figure out what was hers. Plus, the alias she wrote under would be a dead give away to them. "It's in Horizon Alley." She added after a moment, as if the publishing company might be unknown to the older woman. "And you-" She managed to shut herself up this time, thankfully. Of course Clo knew what Claricia did! She was some hot shot Quidditch player! "So.... uh... What brings you out here?"

[Deleted]

September 6, 2025

The time in between the end of the question Claricia had asked and Clodagh's response to it was longer than it might have been. Clodagh just sort of blinked at first. It appeared that she hadn't caught what she had been asked, from what Claricia could tell, though she did respond to her.

Clodagh said that she was working for Obscurus Books, which she mentioned was in Horizont Alley. She was in publishing, then? That was interesting. Claricia wasn't sure if she could picture Clodagh in such a high-pressure environment, though deadlines alone probably weren't too bad. It must have been a different sort of pressure than that with which Claricia was most accustomed, especially because she imagined that it was nowhere near as physically taxing.

"And you—" Clodagh began, only to cut herself off abruptly. Claricia wasn't sure where Clodagh had been going with that thought, because she didn't finish it. She, instead, asked her something else. ""So… uh… What brings you out here?" she wondered.

"Nothing much. I just needed a little break," Claricia explained, but what she really wanted at that moment was a long break away from the magical world. She tried not to make herself sound so miserable, though. Even if she didn't feel that she was, she knew inside herself that she was lucky. Getting some distance from being recognized by so many people was better than nothing at all. "You?"

@clodagh

[Deleted]

September 6, 20225
@claricia

Publishing as a high pressure job, and often wreaked havoc on her nerves. Clodagh was a frazzled mess at work, but she had a few coworkers that knew how to keep her on taste and bribe her into meeting a deadline. That was usually what worked for her, briberies. Having something to look forward to at the end. IT was like a kid. Tell them to do something, and they might, but they also might not. Promise to give them candy? Oh boy that was getting done RIGHT THEN.

Clodagh opened her mouth to respond to the comment about "needing a break". Of course Claricia needed a break! She'd been blown up! But thankfully, Clo's common sense caught her in the nick of time and she she shut her mouth, instead opting to nod. Yes, nodding was good. Socially accepting able. Mentioning needing a break from being blown up was not. "Croissants!" Common sense didn't catch her this time, Clo immediately responding when the question was returned. She held the bag up a bit, the one that contained her treasure. "There's a bakery down the street that always has the best three cheese croissants!"

[Deleted]

September 6, 2025

Claricia watched as Clodagh seemed to want to say something in response to her saying that she needed a break, but it ended up that she didn't actually say anything at all to that and just nodded her head. When she directly asked what had brought Clodagh out that way, though, her response was quick, a sudden exclamation. "Croissants!"

It almost made Claricia jump, as though Clodagh had called out the incantation for a particularly dangerous spell instead of the name of a flaky pastry. She was sure that her eyes had at least widened in reaction to how abrupt it was, though being startled by croissants—without context—wasn't exactly a normal thing. It wasn't the croissants but the way in which Clodagh had delivered her answer.

Confirming that it was actually
the pastries that had gotten her so excited, Clodagh held up the bag that she was carrying. She explained to her that there was a bakery down the street from the park somewhere—although she didn't specify where it was or what it was called—that had good three-cheese croissants.

Although she wasn't sure if she would have gotten so enthused over cheese croissants, Claricia supposed that she was happy to see that Clodagh was so happy to have purchased some of them. It wasn't that she didn't like croissants; she had nothing against croissants, but she wouldn't have named croissants as being anything particularly noteworthy. Truthfully, she wasn't sure if she even had much of an opinion on croissants. She was German, not Austrian or French, so she didn't hold up croissants as a badge of pride, and she had never really thought to add cheese to a croissant, much less three varieties of cheese.

A three-cheese croissant probably was good, though. Claricia had to grant Clodagh that, and she gave a little nod of interest. "Yeah," she agreed with her, feeling her mood improve the slightest bit and wondering if it was Clodagh's happiness that was rubbing off on her. "That sounds really good. Sort of different."

@clodagh