duality | maria

[rhys alexander greyback]

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September 5th, 2025
@maria

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The few days before the full moon were always turbulent for Rhys as he was usually on edge, sleep deprived from his dreams and moody ever since the beginning of the summer when he'd retrieved a phone number from a very private place on his body--printed on his skin he'd found that for those two or three days preceding the full moon he'd become some sort of a libertine. Rhys had more or less just showed up to Maria's place with little warning as sometimes was custom in this intricate engagement they had been involved in since the beginning of the summer. It was destructive and corrupting but damn if it wasn't exhilarating and intoxicating. She had broken him down that day and made him an unresisting passenger in her world. When Rhys was by himself, with his thoughts and not yet a few whisky's down before lunch he thought about the past few months and it made him feel frustrated and disappointed in himself. Why couldn't he keep it together, he felt like he was slipping further and further down.

Rhys and Maria had fallen asleep rather quickly this night or at least he had from exerting so much energy and also since he hadn't been able to sleep the night before. He was fidgeting slightly and shifting, his breathing a bit erratic. In his mind he saw them, he saw those eyes and he saw the glee that the monster took in his bloodlust. He saw his father and he saw him lunging toward his mother but then as soon as he lunged suddenly Rhys' own vision was red and he could only see the pure terror in her face. He awoke suddenly and gasped a large breath. Rhys looked around, letting out hard and shuddering breaths and he registered he was not back in that village and at his childhood home and Fenrir was not here. Still, he struggled to breath--his chest felt heavy and tight. Rhys scooted to the edge of the bed and sat on it, his feet touching the cold floor but not registering the temperature. His face was in his hands as he told himself he was fine, he wasn't in the village, Fenrir wasn't here, he hadn't killed anybody.

His skin was cold and clammy but he had a thin layer of sweat worked up from the nightmare and he tried to take deep breaths. The panic was wearing off, but taking its time as he felt another emotion set in--frustration. The nightmares were recurring and usually did not vary much but it cost Rhys a lot of sleep and stress and added to his ingrained fear of losing control, turning to some depraved beast who was only out for blood. In the entire time had been trying to settle himself he had forgotten he wasn't in his own bedroom, he was in Maria's and she had fallen asleep next to him. Sleeping over had been something that had started on accident since their arrangement was hardly an intimate one and once the itch was scratched they went their separate ways. However, Rhys had quite literally only managed to stay conscious for ten minutes after one night and just fallen asleep. After that it just became and unspoken option.

Rhys could here someone stir behind him. Shit he thought, she wasn't supposed to know this side of him. She was only supposed to be there for his carnal and animalistic desires and not see the fragmented person that he actually was. Nobody was supposed to see that side of him, it was behind walls. Maria had broken down more walls that he'd imagined. He didn't speak or say anything to acknowledge the movement he heard behind him, his chest still felt tight as the panic still sat. It would pass, it always did.

[Deleted]

September 5, 2025
rhys alexander greyback

Maria didn't mind Rhys' late night visits. Sometimes expected, sometimes not. Maybe it was the convenience of her place that brought them here so often. There was sign of personality to Maria's place. It lacked any sort of "personal touch". No pictures of any kind that were of sentimental value. No family photos. No items of significant importance. It was more like a clipping from a catalogue then an actual home. But, it was comfortable. Neither of them had to worry about any accidental reminders of Elias.

Last night was no different then most nights they shared. Wild, chaotic, without a care in the world of any potential consequences. And then, there was the exhausted sleep that followed. Maria usually didn't dream at night. There were times when she had. After a particularly rough experience at Hogwarts during the tournament, when Elias died. But she didn't know when the last time she dreamed was, good or bad. Maria was also a heavy sleeper. Once she fell asleep she stayed asleep unless something dramatic happened.

As strange as it was, Maria had grown quite used to sleeping with Rhys (in both senses of the word). It was comfortable, and usually still. So when he started to stir, her subconscious had picked up on the change. She didn't rouse yet though, as if trying to deny the change. But then... There was heavier movement, the bed shifting entirely. Maria's eyes fluttered opened, still heavy with sleep as she tried to focus on what had roused her. It was Rhys, sitting on the edge of the bed. In a very iconic "depressed" position. "Morning already?" Her voice was low and slow, though from waking instead of the usual seduction. The more she roused, the more she realized that something was up. Something was.... off.

[rhys alexander greyback]

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September 5th, 2025
@maria

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Rhys still felt more stirring behind him. By this point he could tell when she was just shifting, rolling over or leaving the bed as if it had become instinct. They knew each other in that way, the physical way. They had begun selfishly worrying about their own pleasures but had evolved into combining that with the needs of the other--it only added to the experience. Maria knew how to drive him wild when he thought he couldn't anymore and he knew what made her breathless. "Morning already?" He heard behind him in her slow and sleepy drawl and he immediately responded. "No, go back to sleep." He couldn't let her see him like this but it was making it harder to calm down and he hadn't realized how shaky his voice would be when he spoke to her. His hope was that she was still asleep enough to just ignore it and he could calm down and try to get a few more hours of sleep before she indubitably woke him up.

"Fuck." He said in a semi-loud whisper. Had Rhys been in his own bedroom he might have had a Draught of Peace or something to help him settle, get the ache out of his chest and get back to sleep. But he didn't so he would have to ride it out like he used to when he was a boy and even at school. It must have been due to the full moon being so close because normally Maria wore him out so much he didn't have a chance to dream and actually rested despite the soreness the next day. At this point if he could not feel so panicked then he knew that it would pass quickly after that but he couldn't get the image out of his head--the image of his mother's terror and that he was the one that caused it. He knew it wasn't real, he didn't attack his mother but it felt like he had.

[Deleted]

September 5, 2025
rhys alexander greyback

Maria would have listened to him when he told her to go back to sleep. God, she was tired. She wanted to just roll over and go back to sleep. But the way he'd said it... Something was clearly off. That didn't sound like the Rhys she'd come to know. He seemed genuinely bothered by something. Had something happened earlier? No, couldn't have. If he'd come here upset she would have noticed earlier. It had to have been something recent. A nightmare?

She rolled onto her back, a position she rarely slept in, and closed her eyes. Despite his being bothered about something he clearly didn't want to talk about it. So, she wasn't one to pry. She'd just go back to sleep, and be done with this late night disturbance. Then, he spoke again. Normally she wouldn't have heard it, but the stillness of the night made even whispers seem loud. She reopened her eyes, staring at her ceiling for a moment. "Whatever it is, get it off your chest. Otherwise it'll keep you up," she whispered back. Maria bottled up most everything about herself, so she wasn't really one to talk. But she at least knew with nightmares that it always helped having someone to listen. Sometimes clients that hired her hired her just to talk. Those were always boring jobs, but they always seemed to feel better after.

[rhys alexander greyback]

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September 5th, 2025
@maria

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Rhys felt her roll over on the bed, he must have woken her up. Shit he thought, now he was going to have to deal with her too, what would she understand of this. This side of himself wasn't for her. Then came her statement or demand, rather and Rhys focus on his breathing. Talking about that wasn't his plan, he didn't want to but she wasn't wrong either. Everything panic state was telling him to just get it out because he was already in the process of everything coming out from trying to keep it in. There was a pause, he needed a second. "Just a nightmare." He admitted, which of course was the truth but not all of it. The right words seemed to be missing on how to begin.

Rhys took one big breath as he himself was beginning to feel steadier, though his voice didn't feel strong yet. "When I was a kid I watched my father kill my mother." Rhys rubbed his face, saying the memory outload was completely different than just thinking about it or seeing it in a dream. Saying it made it feel so real, almost as real as he had felt a few minutes ago in his dream. "And then he bit me a week later." Rhys continued. The words just came out as if they had been waiting for this moment to be spoken and they were ready. "So I would be like him." The shortest summary he could say about his life and his early trauma.

Rhys' breathing had calmed and he placed his hands on the bed on either side of him. "I haven't stopped dreaming about it since." This time his voice felt a little bit stronger but he kept the volume low. He was tired, and he felt numb and empty. Just a less than gentle reminder that perhaps he was the monster his father wanted him to be.

[Deleted]

September 5, 2025
rhys alexander greyback

A nightmare. That's what Rhys said. No duh, Sherlock. Of course it was a nightmare. She opened an eye, to slightly glare at his back, then closed it again. She didn't feel like responding, as if being sassy right now was too much effort. Again, she wasn't one to pry. Just... well, didn't want his restlessness to affect her own sleep. She knew very well by this point what Rhys could do to her body, and the toll it took. She could sleep like the dead after one of their wild nights, and very much needed said sleep.

Though, after a few silent moments, to her surprise, Rhys spoke again. Sharing a... deeply personal experience. One that tugged on her own heart uncomfortably. She knew very well what was like to see a parent die. Though... His experience was different. Then, being bitten. Sounded like Elias. It seemed Fenrir had a thing for trying to change his offspring...

Maria didn't say anything, just listened to him speak, not moving as she lay on her back with her hands clasped across her stomach, eyes closed. She didn't want to feel for him. Because, this was a "no feels" arrangement they had. But it was hard not to. "You're not like him," she finally mustered in response after he'd finished sharing. "He can't make people be like him. He can try, but ultimately it's your choice." If all it took to make "people like Fenrir" was becoming a werewolf, then they'd have a shit ton of murderous psychopaths running around. She fell silent for a moment. Most people would try to comfort in this situation, but that wasn't really their style. He didn't seem like he wanted pity either. "Everyone has things that haunt them, Rhys. Sometimes those things have a face."

[rhys alexander greyback]

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September 5th, 2025
@maria

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Rhys couldn't believe all that came from him, spoken from his lips and to someone he never held in the regard that he would share anything that wasn't physical with. Maybe Rhys knew she wouldn't sugarcoat anything she said or tell him "it was going to be alright!", if she even responded at all. He could imagine it wasn't what someone expected to hear when asking about what their dream was or the nightmare, and he certainly didn't talk about to many people. His siblings knew, though maybe more at a high level as Rhys didn't care to go into too much detail with them, really he wanted them to be informed of what a monster their father was but he didn't want their pity.

There was a long pause and he really hoped Maria had gone back to sleep and he could just try to get back to sleep as well. But then he heard her speak, albeit not very loudly. Rhys leaned forward so his elbows were on his knees and processed the words. It was what he'd heard before but she said them so curtly it hit different. Another short pause, until she spoke for a last time. Rhys clenched his jaw, he wasn't naïve to think he was the only one with dark and traumatic secrets. "I know..." He muttered and he stood up, walking over to the bathroom. Rhys ran the faucet and splashed some water on his face and looked in the mirror. Even in the dim light in the mirror he could see he looked pale, slight shadows under his eyes from only having had a few hours of sleep the past few days.

With a heavy sigh he dried his face with the towel, turned off the light and went back to the bed.
Rhys lied down on his back, "I just wish I could sleep, I only seem to sleep here...." He placed his hands behind his head, his shoulder always ached when he was tense from a nightmare. The curse of a magical would, the werewolf bite--the scare that would never leave him. He closed his eyes, he wasn't going to get to sleep anytime soon.

[Deleted]

September 5, 2025
rhys alexander greyback

Rhys's response was short, though she hadn't really expected much to begin with. Maria's words weren't necessarily to comfort, more like stating a fact. Elias had once told her about how he'd been turned. Also by Fenrir, who'd broken into his house when he was nine. Elias had had nightmares about it too, from time to time. He'd had to fight the Fenrir legacy, just like Rhys. While Rhys' situation was very different from Elias', it gave Maria a unique perspective. Because she'd watched someone grow up with a slightly similar hand as Rhys.

Rhys got up, and left the bedroom. He wasn't retrieving his clothes, so he'd be back eventually. Probably just needed some air. Maria rolled onto her side, pulling the covers up a bit. While the two didn't "cuddle", the bed was always warmer when they were both in it. Maria wasn't quite asleep, but definitely on her way, when the bed shifted again, and Rhys was back. HE spoke, mentioning wishing he could sleep as he settled beside her in the bed. Maria opened her eyes, thankfully her sight still adjusted to the darkness. Well... if he wanted to sleep....

Maria shifted, sliding closer and draping an arm across his waist, her head resting against his chest, and closed her eyes again. It wasn't a risqué position at all, in fact, it was a very normal position for sleeping couples. But they weren't a couple. They didn't cuddle. "Don't take it the wrong way. You just seem to sleep well when someone's close." She spoke softly, though just was sternly. She wasn't the comforting sort, but in this moment? Well.... She could make an exception once, right?

[rhys alexander greyback]

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September 5th, 2025
@maria

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Rhys never liked pity, the sadness in people's eyes when they found out who he was and made up their own stories of how his life must have been. The worst part was that some guesses came close, he'd never had families as his siblings had or even a parent, he would never admit the jealousy he'd feel about that but it was never resentment. Somehow it had never grown to that, but maybe it was the age gap and maturity or he was just that desperate to not be alone in this world in his situation. Rhys was exhausted, but he felt awake. It was not an unfamiliar feeling.

Rhys felt the bed move again and then encountered an actual unfamiliar feeling, her head lied on his chest just under his head and her body draped over his, it was different--more intimate they would do at all and feeling her body against his was.....calming. Though she warned to not think anything of it and Rhys didn't but it had never occurred to him the effect of this kind of physical intimacy and almost instinctively his arm arm moved from the back of his head to drape on her shoulders. The only strange part was that they weren't the type to do this, at least Rhys didn't with her--it wasn't supposed to be that. Though he supposed it did prove she was capable, though he didn't know what that meant.

His arm squeezed a bit on her shoulders as if to thank her for doing something that he'd never asked nor had he expected but she did anyway and based on an observation he'd never really noticed. He'd been alone almost all his life, what difference did it make at night? Well apparently a lot. Rhys tried to close his eyes and relax and while her closeness was helping calm him, he still felt something. Opening his eyes again he stared at the dark ceiling, he wasn't going to get to sleep like this at least not this time. So he rolled slowly so that he was faced to face on his side with Maria one arm under her holding her to him and the other had gone to cup her face as he looked at her, he must have looked desperate in his eyes. "Distract me, please..." He asked in a whisper as he kissed her, hand still on her face his other arm bringing her close. 

[Deleted]

September 5, 2025
rhys alexander greyback

The silence that followed was.... comfortable. Their bodies close, gently holding each other in the night. It was calm, an unusual thing for the two. Maria and Rhys were many things when using each other but calm was not one of them. The only "calm" between them was when they were both asleep. This was different. It was physical contact not for the sake of their own satisfaction, but for... Maria didn't know. Comfort? Safety? Security? It was many things. This was for him. And, for the first time in a while, Maria felt less selfish.

Rhys' arm wrapped round her shoulders, squeezing just a little but not too tight. Surprisingly, Maria could have fallen asleep like this. It was nice. Listening to his heart beat steadily, feel his chest rise and fall with each breath. Without even realizing it, her own breathing had slowed to match his own. It almost seemed like he might fall asleep, but alas, he didn't. Instead, he shifted underneath her, rolling until they were laying side by side, their faces only inches from each other. His arm had become her pillow as she opened her eyes, staring into his own. Despite the darkness, she could see his expression. See the desperation. For something, anything, to clear his mind. Then those words, a quite plead. He'd never... sounded like that before. The last time he'd said "please" she'd forced him out of him in a fight for domination. Now... It was sincere. Sex, for Maria, was always about herself. But tonight? Well.. Maybe it should be less about her, and more about him....

Maria pushed into the kiss, still softer than usual, as her arm wrapped around his shoulders. This was... desperate but also serene. It was missing the chaos and fire. But, that wasn't a bad thing. Just different for them. She broke the kiss after a few, sweet moments. "Lay on your back." she whispered, freeing her arm from around his shoulders so he could move. She sat up, brushing her hair off her shoulders, and threw a leg across his body, a leg on each side of his waist. She leaned back down to kiss him again, with a little more force. She ran her hands along his chest. Her hands were warm and growing warmer. Not burning, but noticeably hotter than normal. Maria had never used her Veela fire powers on him. Never dared because of how wild things got between them. It took quite a bit of concentration on her part to keep the "fire hands" at a more enjoyable temperature. But since he needed a distraction, and they were both probably not up to the task of their usual pace, it would be the best time to try something new. New was always a good distraction.

[rhys alexander greyback]

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September 5th, 2025
@maria

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Balance, stability, harmony. Not words ever used to describe the Rhys' life, and this was no exception. His life felt full of extremes--rage, sadness, a hollowness. This fell into that, she fell into that category. A substitution for the void he carried and desperately tried to fill with anything that made him feel. The recurring nightmare always left him feeling exposed, numb and devoid of any comfort. Her body on his, skin touching his skin without feeling on fire in their usual passionate engagement had been soothing. If it was something he had been accustomed to he would have drifted off easily. Maria had not been wrong, he did sleep better with that comfort. Although his lack of a committed relationship made that a problem.

Rhys had accepted her selfless gesture, even though their interactions had been almost purely physical he had picked up that this wasn't something she normally did however she hadn't been awkward about it or hesitant. Mentally he was not in a good place, trying to sleep left him alone with his thoughts and he couldn't deal with that right now. Distraction, he needed a distraction and his request had been spoken in a desperate whisper. Rhys wanted to feel something, anything that wasn't what he was feeling that moment--the feeling he hadn't been able to shake since he woke up. She kissed him back, slowly and softly but still deeply. His mind wasn't filled with the rage Maria usually encountered from him that resulted in his animalistic nature but a man full of torment and misery. Rhys needed to feel something, to feel human again.

She told him to lay on his back, a gentle demand and he complied as she climbed on top of him. A small part of him had feared she would push him away after seeing the sad state he was in--but she didn't. Her hands run up and down his torso, warm to the touch. It was unlike anything he'd experienced before and Rhys gasped a bit at first. He watched her, it was new territory after all these months. His hands went to her thighs and ran up them stopping at her waist and moving back and forth slowly. While he wasn't his usual self he still wanted her, he knew she could make him feel better if even only for a little bit. Rhys let this be up to her.

[Deleted]

September 5, 2025
rhys alexander greyback

Maria wasn't always just fire and brimstones (though she was most the time). She was very experienced. And sometimes people just weren't into the really hot and heavy stuff. So, yeah. She knew how to take it slow, to make sure the other party enjoyed themselves. It just wasn't as satisfying for her in the long run. But he was the one that needed a distraction, not her. So, for tonight, she was selfless. And tomorrow she'd deny it ever happened.

Maria moved slow, leaving a trail of kisses down his neck, following his collar bone. Her hands grew hotter, and she slowly started to shift further and further down his body...

-YALL STOP BEING PERVERTS, LET THEM BE IN PEACE-

Maria was usually not a gentle person. She could, just chose not to. Last night Rhys had desperately needed gentle though. Gentle, and a good distraction. So, that's what he got. A long, drawn out encounter that was all about him. And after it all, if he didn't fall asleep then Maria was out of all ideas. Thankfully, they'd both fallen asleep. Separate once more. As if that quiet, emotionally deep moment between them had never happened. Though, something must have changed. A wall between them had dropped.

Maria woke slowly, the morning sun shining in through the window and casting the room in a warm glow. She let out a soft breath, eyes fluttering open and... seeing a bare chest. Rhys' to be exact. His arms were around her, and she was curled up against his chest. Full on cuddling in their sleep. What. The. Hell.

"Rhys... she started, though stopped, trying to think of the right words. "Are you going to let go of me?"

[rhys alexander greyback]

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September 5th, 2025
@maria

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Rhys stirred when Maria shifted and he tried to ignore it and focus on the warmth and comfort he was feeling in the moment. She had helped him fall asleep, helped him feel something that wasn't empty and for once he'd gotten to sleep. Rhys shifted and in his drowsy state his arms shifted and brought whatever was bringing him warmth and comfort closer to him so he continue his peaceful slumber. More stirring and shifting and then Maria's voice floated into his head, he tried to ignore that too until she asked him a question and a bit louder this time.

Rhys slowly opened his eyes and everything was a little bleary, but he looked down and saw brown eyes with a very clearly perplexed expression and as Rhys blinked a few times to regain his vision he realized what was happening. His arms were around her and she was leaning into him. Then her words registered with him. "What?" Now he was equally perplexed, were they....cuddling? "What are you doing?" Rhys rolled onto his back and took his arms from around her, they never cuddled and despite sleeping in the same bed almost all the time they always awoke separately.

He rubbed his eyes, he was still a bit tired but only from falling asleep at a late hour rather than the usual perpetual insomnia he would have for days after a nightmare like that. Then he remembered, she'd comforted him. At least if he remembered, but based on her mood this morning he would probably fair better if he didn't bring it up, nor the the fact that she had initiated curling up with him briefly. Now awake, he considered it all in context. She'd seen him in miserable condition and hadn't pushed him away or rejected him for it. Still, it had been a while since they'd had an awkward moment--not since that first night anyway.

Rhys sat up and sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for his brain to realize it was morning and he scanned the room for his clothes from last night.

[Deleted]

September 5, 2025
rhys alexander greyback

How they'd ended up in this position was beyond Maria. Maria didn't cuddle in her sleep. Even other people. Hell, even Adonia, who Maria had been sleeping with (in both sense of the word) for several years. Just didn't happen. Like... post sex "cuddles", where neither party was up to moving, fine. She did that. But not this. Not sleeping in the arms of a man. Ugh, why the hell had this happened? When Rhys roused, he immediately asked what "she" was doing. She almost glared. "I should be asking you that." He was quick to let her go though, and they broke apart immediately. Like him, Maria rolled away, though she rolled to the edge of the bed, sitting up and reaching for a nightgown that she kept close to the bed.

Maria stood, slipping it on over her head, and then glanced over at Rhys over her shoulder. "That didn't happen," she stated. Nope, she wasn't going to admit it. And, knowing him, he would probably feel similarly. Best to just forget this whole "snuggling" fiasco. She started to walk out of the room. "I'm ordering breakfast. You staying or going?" Best to just move on, and change the subject quickly. Rhys had probably realized very quickly that Maria did not cook. Ever. Her diet consisted of eating out, or anything she could warm up.

[rhys alexander greyback]

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September 5th, 2025
@maria

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Rhys got up from where he had been sitting on the edge of the bed and walked over near the door where his pants had been somehow thrown aside. He put them on, fastening the button and then glanced around casually for his shirt. Since he didn't spot it right away he surmised it might be in the living room somewhere. Rhys looked at Maria for a second when she insisted nothing had happened and he didn't argue. It wasn't that Rhys minded, he just wasn't sure what to make of it, was it really just an accident or was it something else. Considering the interesting night they'd already had he thought it best to not dwell or mention it for now, he already felt a little rattled about the previous night. Aside from the boys dorm at Hogwarts and an ex-girlfriend nobody had really witnessed him in that state before.

Maria put on some clothing as well and then paused and looked at him. Breakfast, Rhys pondered for a second. As hungry as he was he still felt unsettled from the night before and honestly a tad confused. Really he just needed to clear his head, preferably with some whiskey somewhere. "I should get going." He stated, he wasn't in a chatty mood already feeling himself close everything off as he was accustomed to. Really, he was just trying to process and also stay in denial that he had felt good when he had woken up, her in his arms but just in the shock of it all he had pulled away. He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and he walked through the bedroom door to retrieve his shirt from the couch, quickly fastening the buttons. "I'll see you around." The morning after was never full of conversation for them, why should it be any different today.

[ 1 week later ]

September 15, 2025

A week had past since the episode of that night and it had gone unmentioned and ignored. Rhys had been back a couple days after and everything had been as it was prior to that. Well, it almost was. Suddenly Rhys had become aware of random moments in the middle of the night or in the morning when they were in one another's space. She was on his side of the bed or he was on hers and he tried to think if this was normal or he was just paying more attention now. Regardless, he didn't say anything. This was not their unspoken arrangement and not the goal either of them wanted or sought from one another. Still, Rhys found that after that night he'd felt more restless over all. He kept sleeping badly when he was alone and all that insomnia left him with this agitated moodiness he took out on Maria in their favorite way of communicating.

The sun came through the window brightly, the curtains had been left open so the room was bright and annoying. Rhys tried to move but then he realized, as he opened his eyes slowly, that she was laying on his chest and torso, her leg draped over his and her arm laying on his stomach and her hand flat on his chest. Normally, this would have shocked him and while it still did surprise him he did remember how randomly it seemed to happen now. Again, he didn't know what to make of it but he knew what she would think. Rhys wasn't really sure what to do at this point, if she was near him it was enough so he could roll over and they'd be separate again or she would very angrily roll him off her and go back to sleep. Rhys tried to nudge her gently, so she would wake up and they could continue to pretend that this didn't keep happening. "Maria..."