Time Doesn't Heal All [Ilija]

[Deleted]

September 27, 2025
@ilija

Renfri was surprised by the news that Ilija was back in the country. To be honest, her own presence in England was surprising. Renfri had known the Fortescue since first year. They'd been in the same year, same house, and gone on to the same careers. They'd shared many of the same habits, refusing to return home, instead focusing on work. Though for vastly different reasons. They'd even shared Hannah. Hannah had been one of her best friends in school. Now they shared horrific injuries, though at least he'd been allowed to go back to work after his. No, Renfri was forced to retire. That's what happened when you lost all feeling and mobility in your dominant arm. So, no matter how much Ilija tried to hide his pain and sorrow, he couldn't from her. They shared too much. 

So, of course, when she'd heard he was coming home for a while, she'd sent him a letter, asking to meet up. It was the weekend, one of the only times Renfri was free. Being a teacher definitely changed your schedule. But, she'd made the time to see him. It'd been a while since she'd seen her old friend. She'd heard he'd come by, when she was in the hospital, but she didn't remember it. She'd been unconscious most of her stay there. 

Renfri entered the pub, scanning the room and realizing that she'd gotten here first. So, she found a booth, and sat down to wait. While she waited, she ordered a whiskey. Despite months of recovery, it still felt awkward and clunky using her right hand to hold the glass, her left arm limp in the black sling. She raised the glass to take a sip, setting it down just as the door of the pub opened.

[Deleted]

There was a lot of history between him and Renfri. They'd been friends since first year and they'd made quite the squad along with Hannah back in the day. The good days when everything had been better. By now they both had the wear and tear on their bodies. They both had injuries that were near impossible to recover from, or at least fully recover. He dressed up a bit more than usual for meeting her, even though he knew that fooling her was impossible. At least dressing a little neatly helped in looking less messed up than he actually was.

When he entered the pub it didn't take to long to find her. He smiled, a reserved smile but a smile nonetheless. He limped over to her table, the telltale show of his injury. He sat down at her table and smiled ever so slightly. "It's good to see you Ren. How's the arm doing?" He curiously looked at the sling, knowing just how badly it impacted her. While retiring had been a possible option for him he'd managed to recover well enough to continue, despite many advising against it. He could do it though, even more so knowing the dangers in the tombs better than most. He blinked a few times as he got close but gave her a quick hug. She was the best friend he had and had been Hannah's best friend when she'd still been.... with him. "How have you been holding up?" He asked her, genuinely concerned about her. He knew how hard it could be to recover from a serious injury. He'd been there himself after all. He still hadn't recovered, although that was more mentally than physically.

@renfri

[Deleted]

September 27, 2025
@ilija

It was Ilija. Looking just as sullen and off as ever. He'd been such a lively teenager, but that had changed. When he lost Hannah. Renfri... didn't blame him. Not after what he saw. What he went through. While Renfri felt bitter and angry about her injury, he just felt pain. So much pain. But, seeing him was nice. She smiled as he took the seat opposite her. "Hey, Ilija." she greeted. At the mention of her arm she shrugged, though only one shoulder moved. The other stayed deathly still as always. "It doesn't hurt anymore, though.. it doesn't actually feel anything at all." Dead. That's what they called it. A completely useless limb. But they hadn't wanted to amputate it in the hopes that, maybe, someday, some feeling would return. But if there was anyone that understood the pain of losing a limb, it was Ilija.

She picked up her glass and took a sip as he settled, smiling a touch, then setting it back down. "About as well as can be expected. Thankfully Hogwarts is quite accommodating for a cripple. I miss the adventure, though I forgot how troublemaking teenagers can be. They've been keeping me quite busy." She leaned forward, elbow on the table. "What about you? I heard you've taken a leave?" She gave him a look, a demanding but also concerned look. Ilija had been... well he'd never been the same after Hannah. But he'd been predictable. His coming back to England and taking a leave from work was very unusual for him. Something was clearly up. She still had plenty of connections to the Curse Breaking world, so it was... concerning to hear about his change in behavior.

[Deleted]

Renfri looked the same as usual, although Ilija admitted she looked a lot better than he did. She always had, or at least since the accident. He glanced at her arm, knowing just how bad a life changing injury could be. How heavy it could weigh. He'd been in the hospital for half a year and the main reason they'd forced a prosthetic on him was in hopes of getting him some form of purpose again. It hadn't been hard to see his lack of dedication to life. They'd hoped to cheer him up by suggesting different colours but he had cared so little that he just had said whatever and pointed randomly. A part of him was just glad it hadn't been a pink limb, although gold felt a little ostentatious. Oh well, if he'd gotten over his sorrow he would have looked very bad ass as a curse breaker with a golden leg. Too bad he'd never reached that point. "Can I see it? And touch it?" There was a familiar quality to those questions that hadn't been around in years. It almost surprised him at hearing his own voice. The more curious and gentle caring figure. It mostly lacked the positivity, although he was sure he sounded better in that one moment than he had in about six years.

She mentioned she'd been getting on better and he nodded, it made sense. "On that point I'm glad mine just blew straight up. No bother on trying to save something that isn't worth saving. If I'd been sent home to retire....." He pulled a face and a look of pain and anguish washed over his face momentarily. He shook himself slightly as he shrugged it off. "Well I don't think that would have been better." He concluded rather lamely. At least now he'd been able to give everything a place and he'd managed to spend six more painful years as close to Hannah as possible. He knew he inflicted torture on himself but he was far from ready to let go of her. Well, he was there now. He'd sold the house they'd bought together and didn't have any short term plans to go back yet.

A leave. Well, yes. She was well informed, as expected. The curse breaker world wasn't all that big so it made sense she was a lot more up to date than his family was. Not to mention they'd been good friends throughout the years so he wasn't surprised she kept tabs on him. After they both lost Hannah all they had was each other. "I sold the house. I'm moving back here for at least half a year. I have enough financial reserves so it's not a problem on that front. My sister Vas collapsed a while back. She's working herself half to death now our dad can't manage the shop due to his illness...." He took a bit of a shaky breath and shook his head. "I just had to come back. I can't stand the idea she might work herself to death so I came back to help." He looked at Renfri, but his eyes betrayed the pain that was so deep that it was near impossible to hide. "I can't lose more people. Not after Floyd and Hannah. I'm already going to lose my dad. I can't lose my sister too." It was like he was begging her to keep his sister alive because he was terrified he couldn't do it himself. If he would lose his sister he knew that it wouldn't be long before he himself would follow them. He knew it would be too cruel for his mother and Felix to bury three of their family within a year. If only his sister could see and understand that.

@renfri

[Deleted]

September 27, 2025
@ilija

Curse breakers didn't always have the best social etiquette. Wasn't much need for it in their line of work. There also wasn't much in terms of "personal space", as you could often be stuck with someone for weeks on end, sharing everything. So, his questions, asking to touch and see her arm, weren't offensive. Someone else might have been however. It also helped, that Ilija was someone she knew quite well and trusted whole heartedly. She shifted, using her good hand to reach up behind her head to pull the sling strap up and over, then carefully lowered her arm onto the table, slipping the sling off in the process. Again, not even a twitch from the arm. Just dead weight. The stars.... well they looked better then initially, she imagined. But still quite... horrific. Horrific burns from her shoulder, down her arms, to her fingers. Though, the ones on her shoulders were covered by the sleeve of her shirt.

Renfri chuckled as he mentioned his leg being blown up. "Honestly, I'd wish the same. Either way, I would have lost my dominant hand. But the healers seem convinced that someday I might regain some mobility." There was doubt in her voice. Most people didn't even survive fiendfyre. She'd already gotten extremely lucky once. She doubted she'd get so lucky a second time. "At least the asshole had to retire too. I take some comfort in knowing he won't get anyone else hurt." Oh, there was the venom and resentment. Renfri was still very spiteful and bitter. Of course, Ilija knew the story. The other curse breaker she'd been working with at the time had ignored t he rules. The rules that were there to keep them safe. He'd almost gotten himself and Renfri killed from his blatant mistake.

MAny of Renfri's friends were still working in the field. It was easy to get information when you had so many connections into the world. Renfri's eyebrows raised high as he started to explain. He sold the house? Really, he was being quite unpredictable. She didn't interupt him to ask why though, as he soon offered the reason himself. HIs family. Oh. His sister. Renfri remembered her, she was a squib. But the family never seemed bothered by it. And also... his father. Renfri knew the diagnosis. Terminal. At least that was something she could somewaht help him with, having lost her own parents when they were finishing school. She knew what it was like to lose a parent (though in vastly different circumstances). "Oh Ilija. I'm so sorry. Is... Is she alright?" She wouldn't ask about his dad, that was just a loaded question. "So, you're going to be working at your family's shop for a while?"

[Deleted]

Yeah, curse breakers were not known for social ettiquette. Not to mention that he and Ren went far back so he felt a level of comfort with her that he felt around almost nobody else, except perhaps his dad. Luckily she wasn't offended and put her arm on the table for him to prod at a little. He figured it probably wouldn't hurt that much since she said it was dead with very little chance of recovery. He leaned forward and first looked at it without touching. His natural curiosity wouldn't keep contained very long though so after a preliminary glance he reach out and gently touched the scars, running his fingers over them softly. She wouldn't feel it and he felt just how rough and course the skin felt under his touch. Damaged, much like him. He gently took her hand for a moment, gentle memories washing over him for a moment. Both of Hannah and of Renfri, mostly in their school days as they dragged each other around trying to find something to do. "It looks horrible." He said honestly before letting go, gently placing it back on the table. For a moment he almost felt.. happy? It couldn't be though.

He pulled a face at the optimism of healers. Maybe one day she'd regain mobility. That was a minute possibility with very little chance of happening. They were holding out for the off chance and that was foolish at best. "F*ck the optimism of healers." He muttered, rolling his eyes. "Just chop it off, toss it in a river and demand a prosthetic. At least you'll have function again. Maybe you could even quit your job and come back to work." He knew that it was far too dramatic as a course of action but he knew that he would have done it if he'd been in her position. Sometimes it was better to cut your losses than hope things would maybe get better down the road in his opinion. It was salvaging to him, trying to save her arm, far more than healing. He was glad her antagonist had been forced into retirement, although for simple mistakes that was never the best course of action. This was far more complicated since he'd used forbidden magic in order to change a situation and had almost gotten somebody else killed in the process. Accidents killed people and while it hurt Ilija was glad his loss had been an accident rather than a stupid action of a co-worker. On that point one of the few reprieves he had was knowing that he hadn't set off the trap that killed Hannah himself. That had been her own mistake. While he wished he could have done something to prevent it he also knew better than to beat himself up over that. It had taken a few years but at least that was progress.

He shrugged and nodded. "She seems to be okay for now, but she's still pushing herself far too hard. She doesn't like accepting help." He smiled an amused but wry little smile. "I guess we have that in common. I'll be working there until I know that she's delegating work well enough to care for herself. I'm keeping an eye out for possible recruitment. It's fine if she wants to run two shops but she needs to actually get people to do the work for her rather than try to do everything on her own. Felix is helping out but knowing Vas she's not letting him help half as much as he could." His sister was a stubborn one. He had every plan to break at least one or two of her habits so he could leave home with a rested heart. He'd built a life for himself abroad and while he had given it up for now he had every intention to get back there eventually. He wasn't sure his siblings understood that. It didn't matter too much, since his presence was currently still needed here more than anywhere else.

@renfri

[Deleted]

September 27, 2025
@ilija

Renfri wasn't one to let just anyone see the scars and "oogle" her dead arm. It was something she was still very self conscious about, for obvious reasons. But Ilija was a friend. One of her oldest friends. In school it had been her, him, Hannah, and Rhys. While Hannah had obviously always been her best friend, Ilija had always been around. Now, they had each other to remember Hannah by. His fiance, her best friend.

It was strange. She could see him exam her arm. See his fingers trace the scars. And yet felt nothing. Not even the slightest sensation. Even though it had been a few months it still bothered her. To not feel anything. Even more so that it was her dominate arm. Renfri had always been very dominantly left handed. To a fault. it had even been a point of teasing that she couldn't function with just her right hand growing up. Well, that horrible prediction had come true. She'd never felt so... helpless. Before losing movement in the arm. Now? She hated the fact that she needed help almost every single day with something. It was getting better. Slowly. But not nearly fast enough. She smirked as he mentioned it looking horrible. "God, Ilija, don't you know not to tell a girl that?" She teased. It hadn't actually hurt, and she was merely messing with her friend. "Was thinking of maybe getting some tattoos to cover it. Won't hide it, obviously. But at least it wouldn't be so obvious." She added. She knew he'd appreciate the idea, considering how many tattoos he had.

Renfri chuckled at his outburst regarding the healers, advising her to just chop it off and replace it. Oh, how she wished they had at the time. Just decided it wasn't salvageable and took it then. It was healed now though, and she was learning to cope. She didn't know if she could go back through it all. Especially knowing what she did about prosthetics. Ilija's rehabilitation had been.... long and difficult. And his had been a leg. What would an arm be like? Sure, it didn't have to carry her, but... would it be worth the effort in the end? The years of rehabilitiaton... She didn't know. She liked his optimism though. So, after he finished she gave him a sad smile. "Ilija, I want to come back. But I can hardly use a wand. Even if I did, it'd be years of recovery. My time in the field is... done." She swallowed hard. She hated admitting it aloud. No, she'd be a liability. To everyone.

Though, the topic of his family was... concerning. She knew Ilija had been distant with them. Understandably so. He'd lost the beginning of his own family in such a short time. It was bound to leave scars. It was nice to know that he'd come back for them though. That despite the distance he'd placed between him and his family he still cared. As he mentioned his sister not accepting help, and that he shared that in common, she snorted. "You? Not accepting help? Woah, news to me! So Sounds like the whole Fortescue gang is back together. Isn't your ice cream making skills a little rusty?" She knew his allergies, as well, which made the irony of the shop even funnier.

Her expression though grew a little more serious. "Will you be okay, Ilija?" She asked seriously. Being back. Leaving the home he'd made with Hannah. She knew that he'd.... never adjusted after losing Hannah and Floyd.

[Deleted]

Ilija chuckled as Renfri chided him for his brutal honesty and he only replied with a shrug. "I'm sorry, it's beautiful. I especially love the way the scars wrap around your arm like an intricate piece of lace?" He said it with a peculiar mix of sarcasm and sweetness. He wanted to be genuine but it just didn't look good at all. "I can't even lightly pretend that it sounds truthful and I doubt that lying is going to make anything better about the situation. At least sugarcoating never worked for me." He still had his fair share of scars from his own accident and even if most were mental the physical ones had never really healed all that nicely. Most of it was vague white marks on his skin by now, but he hardly cared if they showed. It was part of who he was and what he'd been through. The scars would never attract as much attention as his leg would either way. Perhaps if he was intimate with somebody they might notice but if he went to the beach he knew the attention would go to his leg, not his torso.

He smiled slightly at her mention of tattoos and nodded in approval. "Oh yeah, that would be great. There are styles in which you could create a majestic retelling of how your arm got burned. I considered getting a story tattoo but I didn't really want my dirty laundry out in the open like that. There's plenty visible without me helping the process along. At least you have a better story to tell than I do." It was half a miracle she'd even survived, but he was even more glad that she'd done so. If he would have had to burry her too he was pretty sure something inside him would have snapped and broken entirely. It was already difficult to deal with the losses he'd suffered and he didn't really want it to get harder. He wasn't sure how much he'd be able to handle and he couldn't do it to his family to break down now of all times.

She'd given up on the job. It made sense, but he wanted her to be able to come back. Perhaps it was more because he himself feared having to retire and was projecting just a little bit. It didn't really matter that much what his reasons were though, she'd clearly thought it over and had decided she wasn't going to hold out hope. Just like he'd been forced to decided not to hold out hope for other aspects of his own life. He'd long since gotten used to force feeding himself and living in a near constant state of being sleep deprived. He was far from healthy and it took it's toll on his body and considering he hadn't fed himself up for Christmas yet before coming back it was showing more than it usually did when he was in the UK. His lack of health was glaringly obvious.

He rolled his eyes excessively as she commented on his lack of accepting help from anybody, ever. He hadn't even asked for help when selling his house as he's left all furniture in it and had only taken the things he couldn't live without. The rest had been off to the local thrift store, donation point or trash bin. It was one suit case filled with clothes and memories and nothing more. It was all he'd needed. He shrugged. "It seems so. I never had those ice cream making skills to begin with. My allergies kind of predicted that I wasn't going to be taking over the shop. It took quite a bit of pressure of the expectations in terms of me running the shop. Since Vas actually enjoys working with food it's probably better. Nobody seems to have any doubts about that part of the inheritence." He said with a careless shrug. He wasn't a shop owner kind of person. He lived for adventure and had done so long before his life had fallen to pieces. By now it was more of a compulsive need rather than a dream and desire like it had been when he'd started out. No more tombs sounded like a dreadful doom to him now, where it had sounded boring before.

As she asked him if he was going to be okay with a rather serious expression he felt his face turn almost to stone. He was so used to shutting people out that it came so automatically. He took a breath and released it with a shrug. "Little has changed." He said in all honesty. "I don't drink myself into oblivion, nor do I sleep around with anything that walks. When it comes to coping I might not be doing the best job but I'd like to think I'm doing fine nonetheless." He replied. It wasn't really meant as a jab towards the habits of some of his friends but well, he didn't really have many vices to speak of. He just took care of his body rather poorly and the nightmares that kept waking him up meant he rarely got a decent night of sleep. "Given time I'll probably be okay." He sighed and then smiled slightly, placing a hand on her functional one. "I'm sure I'll be better now that I don't have to go at it alone." He promised her, hoping that she was willing to be there for him as much as he was willing to be there for her. They had been friends for such a long time, maybe it was time they started depending on each other a little more.

@renfri