WITCH WEEKLY DECEMBER 2025 EDITION

[witch weekly]

Witch Weekly

ISSUE 6: December 27th 2025

SCANDAL AT THE BALL

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Rising musician Emrys "Mordrain" Holopainen has found himself in the eyes of the press for quite some time. Where did he come from? Only starting to finding himself in the public eye May of 2024, he doesn't seem to want to slow down. The young vampire has been spotted spending time with a number of adoring fans. We are all aware of his eclectic tastes in romantic encounters. He has been spotted with a number of men, women, and even those who are non-binary. It has been made clear that the young singer is more open than most. This information isn't new to any long-term fans.

He was even spotted at the Elegant, much anticipated Windsor Christmas Ball and seemed to draw attention wherever he landed. One of the highlights of this event, many agreed, was seeing the promiscuous vampire groping a scantily clad woman. The two, perhaps, would have quickly gone off to a private area if it hadn't been for another to intervene. A heated and potentially scandalous conversation ensued.

Now this would have been the highlight of the article, but no, just the other day, Emrys "Mordrain" Holopainen was seen with yet another women. This wouldn't have been anything new to anyone, until he was seen submerging his sharp fangs into the skin of intoxicated woman. Aren't vampire supposed to solely drink from blood provided from Ripam de Sanguinem, the vampire "Bank of Blood?" Now it isn't anyone place to say what a couple does behind close doors, but he was spotted committing this act in quite a public space. Anyone could have easily walked in on them. Is anyone safe? If Emrys "Mordrain" is drinking from strangers in public, who's going to be next? Is this going to spark a number of vampire feedings? Perhaps things have already gone too far.

Article by BARNABUS PERIWINKLE (Written by Sophi)

made by aspaaan

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[witch weekly]

Witch Weekly

ISSUE 6: December 27th 2025

Pop sensation Camila Calderón was spotted leaving the Windsors' Christmas ball early… with a mystery man in tow! An attendee reports that Camila looked to have injured her ankle whilst dancing. Has the singer found her knight in shining armour? Only time will tell!

Article by BARNABUS PERIWINKLE (Written by Audrey)

made by aspaaan

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[witch weekly]

Witch Weekly

ISSUE 6: December 27th 2025

Tips and Tricks to fend off those January Blues

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With the holiday season over and a dreadful winter cold snap, it’s hard to think of what we can do to keep ourselves upbeat until the first buds of spring bloom in magnificent colour. For a jollier January, we’ve compiled some activities to keep you busy until the sun warms us again.

Find some fresh air. Whether you have to apparate out of the city or just step out your front door, taking a walk does wonders for clearing your head. Rain, snow or shine, with the proper protective gear you can stretch your legs and get your blood pumping in any weather.

Set yourself a baking challenge. Whether it’s once a week or once a day, gather yourself some ingredients to make exploding cupcakes or a simple no-yeast bread. The treat at the end of it will be more than worth it!
Make a list of 5 things you are grateful at the end of each day. They don’t have to be big or powerful, just a moment that you can look back at and smile at the thought of it.

Build something to last. It can be woodwork or clay, a painting or a story, but if you can get those creative juices flowing you’ll be able to look proudly at your finished product and remember - you did this!

And if none of that works well… there’s always the endless spiral of alcoholism. But you really shouldn’t turn to that.

Article by BARNABUS PERIWINKLE (Written by Ana )

made by aspaaan

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[witch weekly]

Witch Weekly

ISSUE 6: December 27th 2025

The Beech Tree

written by anonymous

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The wind creaked through the low hanging branches, reaching, reaching but never touching the mirror-like water he hovered over. The Beech Tree had stood, stoic and unyielding over the black lake for as long as living memory served. He had heard private conversations, seen life changing alterations, and felt as lovers carved their initials into his flesh.

It was another summer day, balmy with an unforgiving sun. The Beech Tree regarded the life that sprawled across the lawns, the laughing witches and wizards as they celebrated their end of exams. He sighed, exhaling all worries and the breeze swept across the grass, playfully ruffling the hair of the passing students.

A teenager, only just having reached adulthood yet still so youthful, slumped down in the shade of the tree. She leaned against his trunk, and even without eyes or ears to hear and see, he felt her sorrow and the wetness that dripped from the tip of her nose onto his roots. He wanted to console her, to wrap his branches around her and protect her from the dangers of this world. For he knew this girl, her black robes often fraying and dulled with age. She sat by him often, and far too often the agony and hurt rolled off her like waves. He wished he could do something.

But he was just a tree.

However, it wasn’t long until the teenager was joined by another witch her age. The colours of their robes did not match, nor did their collars. How the Beech Tree knew this, he did not know. As surely as he did not know why he was a he. The second girl dropped to her knees and reached out to wipe the tears streaming down the other’s face. The Beech Tree wanted to recoil from her touch - he knew innately that this new female was the reason for the tears. But instead of pulling away, she leaned into her touch.

The Beech Tree didn’t understand human interaction. He saw pain and happiness, hurt and euphoria. He knew that these people would move on and fade away, and he would still be here standing. He did not understand when the second girl pressed her lips to the firsts’ or why they became so closely entwined. He didn’t understand much, though he existed as a sentinel through time. Unchanging. A haven for lovers and fighters.

And they thought he was just a tree.

Article by BARNABUS PERIWINKLE (Written by Ana)

made by aspaaan

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[witch weekly]

Witch Weekly

ISSUE 6: December 27th 2025

MOST CHARMING SMILE AWARD

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It seems this coveted prize can only be kept away from the Lockhart name for so long, as this issue's prize for Most Charming Smile has been won by...

GILDEROY LEROY LOCKHART JR

Taking after his father, Gilderoy Jr is known to make a girl swoon with just a look and a flash of teeth. More charming than even a veela (and without the talons, beaks, or fire throwing abilities) the young law enforcement officer stole the hearts of readers and writers of Witch Weekly alike when we visited him as a finalist. A humble and thoughtful host, Gilderoy Jr made sure that we knew he was just more than a pretty face and a dazzling smile. But don't be fooled, because he was the unanimous winner of the award. Will he beat his father's previous five times in a row record and cling on to this highly desirable prize. 

Article by BARNABUS PERIWINKLE (Written by Ana )

made by aspaaan

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[witch weekly]

Witch Weekly

ISSUE 6: December 27th 2025

Muggle Infiltration Series: Alexa

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Welcome to Witch Weekly’s new opinion column series “Infiltrating the Muggle Household” with veteran reporter Seymour Dickson. I recently ventured into the home of a willing muggle-born Wizard, Caius Smethwyck, who explained some of the various muggle technologies to me. As I ventured around the home, it was comparatively similar to a Wizard’s home but with a lot more items that contained flashing lights and made odd beeping noises. Fascinating stuff, but what caught my real attention was a small cylindrical device that was mostly gray with a blue light that illuminated from the top. I asked Caius what this contraption was in the world, and he replied it was a “muggle smart device called Alexa.” I looked upon this so-called smart device with fascination. Do all muggles own such things and name them individually as they would a household pet or perhaps their Owls? Caius explained that “Alexa” was some sort of brand, and these items were not typically individually named. Fascinating. As I clarified with another question, asking, “So, this...thing is called Alexa? What does it do?” Then the device flashed a brilliant blue light and actually seemed to speak, commenting. “Sorry, I didn’t catch that.” I leaned down and inspected the device as I reached into my coat for my glasses. I was instantly taken back to the Hogwarts Sorting ceremony as a boy (feels like a century ago now), but Alexa’s responses seemed short and to the point—it lacked that witty banter one could have with the Sorting hat as you made one of the biggest decisions of your life on that stool. Caius seemed amused at my reaction and explained that it was “programmed” to react rather than be sentient as many enchanted items were. Still, that single interaction was enough to leave me with a headache as I struggle to wrap my mind around the muggle version of enchanted items—smart devices (as they were called). Perhaps I will encounter more of these items on the next edition of the Muggle Infiltration Series with myself, Seymour Dickson.

Article by BARNABUS PERIWINKLE (Written by Vanessa)

made by aspaaan

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[witch weekly]

Witch Weekly

ISSUE 6: December 27th 2025

Mistle-do’s and Mistle-don’t’s for Under the Mistletoe!

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If you’re kissing someone sweet this Christmas, use Witch Weekly’s hottest new tips to make sure you’re getting the most out of your mistletoe!

Mistle-do: Use a Breath-Freshening Charm! No one wants to kiss someone with pumpkin juice breath, and Breath-Freshening Charms are a quick way to make sure you’re not catching someone by surprise in a bad way.

Mistle-don’t: Kiss someone without permission! While it’s always nice to have someone to kiss under the mistletoe, if someone says they’re not into it, cool your jets – consent is still important at Christmas!

Mistle-do: Move out of the way! Doorways are a common place to hang mistletoe to catch couples unawares, but people still want to be able to get to the snacks even if you and your beau or belle are making out. Take it to a corner, please!

Mistle-don’t: Kiss someone you’re not into! Like we’ve said before (and will say again), mistletoe is just a fun and flirty way to kiss someone you’re sweet on. Just like you shouldn’t pressure others into kissing you, you shouldn’t feel pressured to kiss someone else.

Mistle-do: Use all of Witch Weekly’s 27 Tips to a Great Kiss! A mistletoe kiss is just like any other kiss, and all of our amazing tips still apply. See page 61 for details.

Mistle-don’t: Kiss and tell! If you do decide to kiss someone under the mistletoe, how good of a kisser they are stays between them and you. Keep it classy, always.

Got it? Got it! Now go forth and have some great kisses this holiday season!

Article by BARNABUS PERIWINKLE (Written by Puck)

made by aspaaan

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