[ F A D E D ]

[simon sixten svendsen]

Early September

Flashing lights danced off the walls of the steamy night club, heavy bass drums rumbled the concrete beneath his feet as people around him raised their hands to the beat. Simon ran a hand through his hair, eyes scanning across the sea of people for any girls after getting a proper pregame in at his mates pad. His group had a VIP booth reserved but Simon figured he’d search the floor for any pretty girls to chat up with beforehand. Truthfully, he didn’t feel like socializing much, but he knew he needed to upkeep the facade that everything was okay. In his mates eyes he was more apathetic about the situation with Luna, preferring to pretend like nothing happened. When he didn’t pretend, the gaping hole in his heart only bled harder.

To put it simply, Simon hadn’t taken the breakup with LUNA LACHESIS TRELAWNEY well. He saw it coming but it didn’t make her absence in his life any easier. Every day he wondered what she was doing, hoping that she was okay. There were a few times he considered reaching out to Claudia to see what would happen. He ultimately decided against it, wanting to keep his promise to Luna. Why did it matter when they no longer spoke to each other? Simon desperately missed what he once had with Luna but he also hated her even more for the pain and sadness. The strange mixture of emotions had him constantly at battle with himself. Fuck, it was hard trying to be a good person and not slip back into old habits.

With no luck with any girls on the dance floor, Simon beelined his way to the bar in hopes that alcohol would help uplift his mood. As the bartender handed over his drink, a hand grabbed his arm, giving it a light squeeze for attention. “Simon!” A short blond greeted him excitedly with a smile so bright and contagious, he wasn’t sure if she was happy to see him or on happy pills. Maybe a mixture of both. It made him actually smile a true smile for the first time in a month as he accepted her powerful hug. ”Heeeey, it’s nice to see you..” his voice went up an octave because he honestly couldn’t remember the girls name. ”Are you here with anyone?” She immediately asked, a puppy dog look to her big brown eyes as if she was hoping he’d say no.

Simons eyes looked her up and down for a moment, noticing that she was actually pretty hot and blessed in a deep V crop top. With a bright sunshiney demeanor, she was the complete opposite of Luna, but he couldn't help but think of her and wish she were her. He waited a beat. “I'm here with you..” he answered smoothly with a cheeky smile, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Her face lit up, tucking herself into his side as she squeezed his strong arm and gawked. "Ooo..so I get the quidditch star all to myself.." she giggled, reaching for his hand. "C’mon-Dance with me.” Christine demanded, pulling him through the crowd like a rabid animal with their prey. Simon didn't typically find her genre of female attractive, especially after his expierience with Jessie, but he gave in easily tonight. The attention was nice and she seemed like a good time...maybe she could make him feel something.

Without wasting any time, the girl ran her hands up his chest, a dangerous look in her eye as she placed a colored piece of paper in her mouth, gesturing for Simon to 'come here'. He leaned forward a tiny bit, slightly confused, and she yanked the back of his neck to fold over, smashing her lips against his and shoving her tongue inside his mouth in an aggressive manner. Simon kissed her back passionately while she devoured him, sucking the life out of him like a dementor. She passed the bitter tab to his tongue and he swallowed it, unable to keep it in his mouth because it tasted gross.

Within about 20 minutes, he could feel the creeping effects of something that made him feel a little weird. Some parts of the walls wiggled, while other sections melted, appearing to be breathing. Bodies left light trails in the flashing lights. He got lost in the moment, truly letting loose to the music and company. Simon quickly lost track of time, not realizing his mates were probably looking for him. That was the last of his thoughts when he was busy swapping spit and dancing with hotties.

Simons mates eventually found him deep on the dance floor with his lady of the night. Two of his mates bumped into them on the dance floor, looking at Simon and the girl curiously, like they expected him to introduce them. More to put him on the spot. "This is.....Briana." he stated in an uncontrollable hopeful tone.

The girl snapped her head back to look at him, appalled, mouth gaping open. "My name is Christine." she corrected him, noticeably offended that he didn't know her name after snogging her for over an hour. His mates let out a cacophony of laughs as his face flickered with a couple of stupid expressions. Christine's eyebrows threaded to the center of her forehead as she turned on her heel and left without a word. Simon cocked his head to the side in confusion, watching her walk away. The half vamp raised his shoulders up and down lazily. "Christine. Thaat's it." he mused to himself with a chuckle that bubbled into laughter.

After a good laugh, the guys made their way back to the VIP booth to drink themselves into a blur, eventually crawling back to the flat and passing out. Before falling asleep he thought he set his alarm but he really typed in 600 into the calculator app. Simon woke up to a Howler from the Falcolns coach since he never showed up for practice.

(To be continued..)

[simon sixten svendsen]

A Week Later....

Moving to London to be closer to LUNA LACHESIS TRELAWNEY had certainly given Simon more accessibility to activities and being closer to his mates, but that came with one price. Luna. Somehow moving closer to Luna pushed her away further. Mostly because it was easier to overindulge and Simon had no self restraint or general self discipline for himself unless if it was a last resort situation. He never deprived himself of the good things in life: women, booze, partying, and general debauchery. He always had a penchant for trouble. Simon slowly came to the conclusion that moving to London was the demise the relationship he once had with Luna. And the fact that Luna held a lot of spite and resentment over Simon for his accomplishments.

Over the duration of the last week Simon found himself struggling more than usual at practice. The lingering mix of hangover-comedown and lack of sleep was finally catching up to him. One of his teammates pulled him aside and asked if everything was alright and he dismissed the question, afraid of breaking down again in front of his teammates. He never knew how to answer the 'are you okay' question. If he was too honest, most people would think he was crazy. But if he pretended the two(?) year relationship down the drain with Luna wasn't nagging at his conscience every hour of the day, that would be a bloody lie. Simon hated the feelings that surfaced when he was alone so when he wasn't at practice, he was usually high and drinking himself into oblivion. That didn't set him up for success playing with the Falcolns. Tonight he knew he should have stayed in to catch on some much needed rest, but there was a party happening in Kensington that he didn't want to miss. His mates from school would be there and he was buzzing to catch up with them. It had been since before the demise of Hogwarts since he'd seen many of his classmates.

Simon sauntered into the lavish mansion party long after the festivities started. The music was booming and the mood of the party was electric. It didn't take him long to run into familiar faces, offering his friends warm greetings and loving hugs. Many people wished him condolences over Sofia, which eventually put him in a weird headspace. As much as he loved Sofia, he didn't want to dwell on her legacy for too long that night. So he went outside for a change of scenery.

Immediately upon entering the extravagant outdoor patio, he noticed the girl from last week at the club. Christine. There was a moment of panic that quickly fizzled away after he saw her staring at him. Simon beelined over to Christine who had glitter smeared under her eyelids, nurturing a bottle of vodka in her hands.

"Hi..Christine" he greeted with an over exaggerated charming smile, offering her a playful gaze as he half expected her to tell him to kick rocks. Her mouth gaped with surprise, "Oh woooow, you actually remembered my name this time.." she teased, still giving him a stare of death.

Simon chuckled with a shrug. "I'm sorry, I was just wasted." he objected. Christine pursed her lips with crossed arms, rolling her eyes at his lame excuse. "Okay, fine, if you want the truth... I didn't remember your name."

The blonde sighed, not feeding into his shenanigans. "You get a pass only because you're-like- quidditch famous now. What do you want, Simon?" Christine asked, a moment of defeat. Simon couldn't tell if she wanted him to leave her alone or not.

The half vamp shrugged his shoulders upwards cooly, "I just wanna have fun." he stated simply, offering her a soft gaze as he pulled a joint from behind his ear and dangled it between his lips. He lit the end, puffing a couple of clouds of smoke in front of his face. Christine watched him for a moment, slits for eyes as she looked him over as a smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "Okay. Let's have fun then." she gave in easily, yanking the joint from his lips and taking a puff. Christine proceeded to skip off into the darkness where she knew Simon would eagerly follow.

And follow Christine Simon did. His feet stomped after her as she giggled, leading him him into a winding Labyrinth in the courtyard. The Labyrinth fed into a green pasture with a tree on a hill with an inviting swing. They raced to the top and Simon pushed her out of the way to hold the swing high above her head to tease her.

They quickly lost track of time. It had been hours on the hill where the moon now hung high in the sky. The pair finished the bottle of alcohol in record time before they were snorting random powders and pondering life. Usually he preferred to do the opposite on drugs but Simon was in a more reflective mood tonight. Especially after so many people were bringing up Sofia. Sometimes he couldn't help but get those intrusive thought where he wished it were him who died.

"Do you feel like it's hard to be a good person?" Simon asked, staring up at the stars glittering the sky. They lay close but there was a personal bubbled between the both of them.

"You're asking a Hufflepuff, the epitome of good." she reminded him with a smile. "I think most people are good. Good people just do bad things. Or in your case, have bad decision making skills..but I like you." she stated more as a compliment to his character.

"Why? You don't even know me.." he scoffed, plucking the joint from her finger and inhaling.

"You upkeep that broody tough guy facade, quite well, but deep down you care what people think."

Simon sighed, flicking some ash off to the side. " I don't want a girlfriend right now."

The blonde shrugged with a blank stare before laughing in his face. “Aw, that's cute, you think I want to be your girlfriend." she gushed while batting her lashes before snapping her head back and laughing obnoxiously in his face. "I don't want a boyfriend. And beside that, I know you and Luna just broke up...“ she told him, looking him up and down suspiciously. "Saw it on the Nosey Witch." Christine giggled to herself with a jestful side eye.

Hearing Luna's name spill from Christine's lips so nonchalantly hurt more than he wanted to admit. There was a dagger in his heart that hadn't quite healed yet. Simon swallowed and eventually mustered a lazy shrug, puffing a couple of extra puffs in response to gain him more time. "I can't get away with shit anymore." he replied dryly, attempting to keep a careless demeanor but it was pretty obvious he was struggling. "Well, you've always done dumb shit, Svendsen... Now you make a fool of yourself for the world to see." Christine told him harshly, patting him on the shoulder sweetly. There was a moment where the blondes eyes glued to his with a smoldering look before wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him in for a languid kiss, pushing him into the dewey grass. Simon was drunk enough to drop the conversation there and enjoy the spontaneous moment. After 30 minutes of snogging and rolling around in the grass, the pair passed out.

Hours later they both woke up terrified of sprinklers showering over their hung over bodies, Simon rolled over onto the grass and puked violently.. "Ew. Simon." she paused with a disgusted expression, looking like she may puke, too. "Don't you dare try to snog me within 3-5 business days after that.." she deadpanned before disappearing with a pop. Simon apparated home where he realized he was 3 minutes late to practice.

(To Be Continued...)

[simon sixten svendsen]

* Trigger Warning: Drug Overdose / Death *

Two weeks later.. Late September

Before Simons eyes opened, the image of Christine popped into his head. There was something deep down inside that told him it wasn't a good thing and he was most likely trusting a girl too fast....but he was a weak man who appreciated any distraction from his current crumbling reality.

The day passed with a blink of an eye. Since the Falcolns were released from practice early, he quickly filled in the free time, rather than catch up on some much needed rest. It was better than being alone with his thoughts. Simon had the plan to meet up with Christine and their mutual mates who were Hogwarts alumni, who he found himself hanging around with more often. It was a blast from the past whenever he hung out with his old mates. The group of people made him feel carefree like a kid again. He didn't feel any judgement because they already knew of Simons out of pocket shenanigans from their school days, he was just a bit more "quidditch famous" now.

Simon arrived at the house party a little late after getting distracted with his paints since he knocked back a half bottle of whiskey to loosen up. As Simon climbed the steps to the familiar Kensington home, he couldn't help but notice the vibe felt off. There was no music playing and everyone was shuffling around inside. No one was smiling or laughing. It made him feel paranoid until he noticed the small crowd forming around the open bathroom door. Simon closed front door behind him as he slowly assessed the situation. At first it sounded like a drunk girl crying in the bathroom but the cries grew more desperate and pained. "Christine!! Wake up!" another girl wailed as more people gathered around the door. The name 'Christine' made a chill run down his spine. This wasn't the first time this happened to Christine. She had a bad habit of mixing muggle and magic drugs, so much to the point where she'd often forget how much she took and overindulge if someone didn't properly babysit.

His stomach sank to the floor, already knowing he was unprepared for what he was going to see next. Simon pushed his way through the crowd before bursting through the door. "Chris-" his eyes fell to his friends limp body on the bathroom floor, he was mortified by the foam coming from her mouth.

"W-what happened?!" he wept, crumbling to his knees and adding to the panic. Simon wasn't the type to cry, ever, but death would always be a hard concept for him to grasp. The vacant look in Christine's eyes and blueish tint to her pale complexion was a scary reality that his friend was gone forever.


(To Be Continued...)

[simon sixten svendsen]

Early October

Simons woke with a head splitting migraine. He smushed his face into his pillow, kicking an empty alcohol to the floor as he rolled over in bed. The contents of the bottle sloshed onto the floor. Simon groaned from the world of hurt he was experiencing, unsure of what time it was, nor did he care. Simon pryed himself out of bed, stepping in the pool of whiskey on the ground, taking a sip from a random cup that had more alcohol in it. Hair of the dog didn't really work for him anymore these days, unfortunately. Every day he woke up feeling like shit, he wished he could burrow in his bed and forget the rest of the world. But quidditch never stopped. Especially with the Falcolns.

For the third time this week, Simon was late to practice. He could actually feel his teammates disappointment in him growing each day...since he was late yesterday and the day before, promising it would be the last time. The slack was finally running out for Simon. Everyone was tired of his shit. Even he was tired of his own shit, he just didn't know how to stop! Something deep down inside of him couldn't pull himself to even care after everything he was going through, with the added grief from the loss of Christine. He didn't want to talk about it with anyone because all it did was make him re-live the horrible night. Uncontrollable flashes of his friend splayed out lifeless on the bathroom floor had him spiraling into a depressive episode. 

Sweaty hands clutched the broom with a white knuckle grip, struggling to keep himself upright. Something felt off. “Svendsen!” the Falcons coach called out, ”Dismount ya broom! We gotta chat!” he yelled up gruffly at Simon, eyebrows threaded at the center of his forehead from the sun in his eyes. The half vampire stupidly gestured to himself with a questioning look. Simon could sense he was in trouble because the team Captain stood beside him like a dog with his tail between his legs. Simon stopped in front of the two older gentleman, his mouth going dry because he knew he was in trouble. ”I heard you were late again. Third time this week to be exact.” he looked him up and down with scrutiny, disapproval creasing his sunburned forehead.

”I’m sorry, I-” the coach wiped a bead of sweat from his shiny bald head, waving an annoyed hand in the air to silence Simon. “Shut it, Svendsen. We've all heard that one from ya time and time again with no difference in results. Stop saying sorry and just do better. Your performance has been slippin'. To be frank, you look and play like dog shit when you’re like this. Pull it together, Mate!" he stated bluntly as he gestured his hands in the air.

The harsh words and delivery sent a wave of embarrassment and shame to wash over him. Something inside him finally resonated. A lightbulb lit above his head, realizing this was all of part of the vicious fucking cycle he couldn’t seem to get a grasp of. Now it was starting to affect his quidditch career and relationships.

The coach’s face softened after Simons face faltered with defeat. He swallowed hard because he didn’t know what to say to him. His mouth opened and then closed. ”Are you okay, Simon?” he finally asked, actually seeming like he cared about his well being. ”Do you have someone you can talk to?" Simon swallowed hard as he fell silent, barely able to clutch the broom in his hands.

"We can get you the help you need, but I need ya to agree right now, or else I can’t promise a spot on the team for you.” The older man stared at him expectantly. 

Simon took a breath in, ”Okay, I’ll go. I will take the help.” he agreed with tears prickling his eyes.

[simon sixten svendsen]

January 15 2029

83 Days. 83 days passed since the last time Simon played quidditch or held a broom. 83 days since he agreed to check himself into rehab, deeming his life over. White walls, cramped quarters, itchy sheets - and worst of all - days scheduled down to the minute to keep him ‘busy’. There were times Simon was convinced he was in purgatory, but he didn’t believe in any form of religion. His life just sucked.

On the second month on his road to recovery, the week before Christmas to be exact, he relapsed. Twice, in the same week.

The pressure, depression, and crippling loneliness of being in a controlled environment proved to be too much. Originally he was supposed to be enlisted for 30 days in the program, but he was set back due to a series of unfortunate events. His sponsor caught him sneaking a drink. During the second offense the leaders found a vape in Simon’s drawer during a random room inspection. It ended up being a very big deal, even with it just being nicotine. Hell he should have snuck in the weed one. In the end, the escape from reality wasn’t worth the extra month he wasted to restart the program. And the shame he had to face all over again.

Time moved slower in rehab. Every minute felt like an hour. He missed playing quidditch, the wind in his hair as his legs dangled above the clouds. Simon wished he could talk to his friends and teammates. LUNA LACHESIS TRELAWNEY was a void in his life since they parted but he knew it was for the best for the both of them. They were miserable together in the end of their relationship, but that didn’t stop him from missing her like a missing puzzle piece. It didn’t help that the ache in his heart of losing Sofia was always present. Simon knew if his sister was still alive she’d hold him accountable. It was something that used to make his blood boil…now he’d do anything for his sister to call him an idiot sandwich again. The loss of Christine also lingered like a dark cloud above him. Why couldn’t it be him?

Working out until he threw up didn’t hit like it used to. As a disciplinary action his sponsor strongly recommended Simon to start a culinary arts class. Simon could barely boil water, cooking felt more like slave work than anything. When one of the older residents requested he help frost cupcakes, that was the last straw. Why was he suddenly self conscious about his masculinity when baked goods were involved. Simon gripped the piping bag and messily layered the cupcake with pink frosting. ”Okay, I’m finally finished.” he sighed, before the older tatted gentleman pulled out another tray of danishes that were on a cooling rack. Cocking his head to the side, he should his head in disappointment.  ”Those sad lookin cakes would’ve passed while you were still a drunk, Svendsen, but not here. Scrape the frosting and redo them, how I showed ye..” the man ordered with a gruff tone, but there was a sense of humor behind it. Simon bit down on his lip and nodded, a chuckle slipping passed his lips because he wasn’t wrong, and that diss was kind of funny.