Lettuce Prey [Theo]

[Theodore Marcus Flint]

a fine young galahad.

THE PAT THAT CAME AGAINST THEO'S SHOULDER was unseen, as he was bent at the waist panting. However, it still stung Theo's pride a little at the mocking sympathy offered by Tilly, who was miraculously composed for someone who had just done a mad runner. He straightened up with a great effort, pressing against his stitch once more before he forced himself to let go and appear somewhat put-together.

"Detention..." He agreed with a sombre nod, but it wasn't as if he wasn't intimately familiar with the punishment types at Hogwarts. In fact, he was something of a detention connoisseur, if he were to be asked. He took a moment to kiss his next Quidditch practice goodbye, before shrugging carelessly. "Worth it." He surmised, nudging Tilly with his shoulder gently.

Theo watched Tilly wander off ahead, hands clasped behind her head as she stretched in what he supposed could only be satisfaction. And something flipped somewhere at the back of his gut, like he'd just took a sharp dip on his Nimbus. He snorted, jogging to catch up and smack her hand in a high five before throwing an arm around her shoulders as they wandered off ahead.

"I'm a professional." He said in self-satisfaction, posturing proudly as he cast Tilly a sidelong glance. She was all pink in the face, and he considered asking her for that snog again before remembering she probably had Flobberworm breath. "Probably not." He admitted, settling his disappointment at their inevitable lifetime ban from the Flobberworm & Lettuce. "But, hey, maybe the ugly manager will die and they'll forget to pass on the ban." He posed with a quirk of his brow. It had been a hell of a work out for the old cadger. 

"You're not a bad partner-in-crime, Poole." He revealed with a slight smirk, jostling her slightly as they turned another corner and Theo led them down a flight of stairs, down toward the dungeons. Hopefully they could grab a few celebratory snacks and drinks. Seeing as they were definitely barred from the student pub for the foreseeable future. He stopped at the last step as Tilly insulted his entirely acceptable athleticism and cast her a very sharp expression of offence.

"I work out just fine, Poole!" He argued, arm still slung around her shoulder and pride smarting slightly. Then, as quickly as his face glinted in inevitable disaster, he let go of Tilly's shoulder and pushed her gently into the portraits hanging at the bottom of the staircase. "Race you to the kitchens!" He exclaimed, already taking off at a sprint, taking full advantage of his head start. Theo never said he played fair. 

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”Absolutely,” she shoulder bumped Theo back even harder. Her few times in detention had always ended up being worth it. As long as they were given something interesting, and together, than it would make a world of difference. No cleaning up the greenhouses without magic again. That was absolutely slave labor. She didn’t have much time to dwell on it though, as Theo had caught back up to her and thrown his lanky arm around her shoulders. He agreed that they probably wouldn’t be let back into the pub, which was fine with her. Going back would admit they’d made up the entire thing about the flobberworm being in the salad. Waging a war of attrition would be easy enough for her. The Great Hall’s food was perfectly fine. And free.

Down they descended, Tilly thinking about how that flobberworm was going to sit in her stomach later. If she’d been a little smarter about all this, should have excused herself to the bathroom and forced herself to throw it back up. She’d hate to lose her breakfast though. It had been divine this morning. ”Criminal mastermind, more like it,” she corrected him. ”Stick around and you’ll see all sorts of fun things.” At least they were fun to her. Plenty of their classmates seemed to think otherwise. Namely her obsession with death. They just didn’t get it.

She was about to aggressively squeeze his arms to find the supposed muscle he had, but he’d released her too quickly and shoved her at the wall. Bouncing off of a now screaming portrait of an ownerless and angry donkey, Tilly watched as Theo bolted towards the kitchens. Only a few steps remained on the staircase, and she cleared all of them in one jump, the force of her soles slapping against the marble floor echoing down the corridor in a thunderous clap. He may have had several inches and a longer gait on her, but she was used to be jostled around as a Chaser.

Bolting after him she caught him at the entrance to the basement. The first sharp turn into the stairwell down was narrow and steep. A couple of first years were coming up them at the same time. ”Out of the way!” she screamed down at them as she found her face in the back of Theo’s robes, hands trying to push him out of the way to squeeze the gap between him and the children coming up towards them.

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[Theodore Marcus Flint]

a fine young galahad.

WITH A HUMOURED EXPRESSION OF DISBELIEF, Theo was once again left to wonder about the audacity of Tilly's hidden ego. She always seemed so apathetic during practices, that when he saw the competitive side of her it still took him momentarily by surprise. "As if," He snorted, smoothing down his robes and posturing as he was prone to do. "You're my side-kick, if anything." Pinning himself as the great mastermind, even if it was a bit of a push and pull. He couldn't be outdone, not when she'd already insulted his athleticism.

Pushing her into the portrait was more for Tilly, than Theo, he thought confidently. So that she could understand how wrong she was. He sprinted with all his might, powering every muscle in his arms and legs until his lungs almost spasmed. He couldn't lose to her, not even by an inch. If he lost, how would she ever respect him enough to take her top off again?

Unfortunately, even he could hear her gaining on him, her whip fast frame quickly closing the space between them. The only advantage Theo had was his longer legs. He took most of the first staircase in one good leap, but was propelled forward by the frightening sound of Tilly doing the same. Her small feet slapping against the stone like some kind of lithe predator. The final turn almost sent Theo into a wall, but he managed to make the final steep set of stairs with his head start. He'd gripped the banister for propulsion when the sight of two ball-headed first years blocked his way. He felt Tilly smack into his back and stumbled down a few steps. The staircase was so narrow that he could hold a hand out against each wall and he did so to block her from slipping passed him.

"No. A. Chance. Poole." He grunted, pushing back against her and kicking out his legs as the first years waffled up and down the steps ahead of them. "Get a move on!" He shouted, red faced as he turned to wrap an arm around Tilly's waist and pin her against the stairwell wall to create a gap for the first years to pass without giving up his lead. It was a battle of limbs for a second as the first years squealed and passed, and Theo got a mouthful of Tilly's hair as he pressed her bodily against the wall. He hadn't even an opportunity to enjoy their proximity before it was back to business and they were neck and neck down the step staircase.

Sandwiched together and fighting gravity. Two steps away from the bottom, they both collided at just the right moment and Theo's footing was lost. He wrapped his arm around Tilly instinctively, to stop her and stop himself as he fell forward and rolled onto the dungeon floor in a tangle of limbs. Tilly's body thrown across his own, his head smarting from where it had smacked hard against the concrete floor. "Salazar, Poole, if you wanted a leg over you just had to ask." He grunted, blinking the stars from his eyes and staring up at Tilly.

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”Like hell I am,” Tilly scoffed at the idea of being sidekick. In what world did it work out that way? She absolutely had main character syndrome, otherwise she wouldn’t have just eaten the flobberworm in the middle of the pub. ”The only way I’m a sidekick is if it means I get to kick you in the side whenever I feel like it,” she added, swinging her leg aggressively at Theo but stopping before she could make any sort of contact. If anything, she was the weird secondary character that popped in to do some crazy shit when the heroes needed help. But she refused to be a sidekick.

Her attempt to squeeze by failed. Not because she couldn’t, but because the freaky little first years were scurrying up the stairwell as fast as possible. If she’d had more time, she definitely would have been able to get under and around Theo. He took up all of the available space though, and for a moment, she contemplated sneaking under his legs. That would surely be a core memory for the kids below. Theo ended up grabbing her by the waist and pressing her up against their side of the stairwell, forcibly moving her out of the way so the first years could make it by. Had it been longer, she would have blown her flobberworm breath into his face or made some sort of smarmy quip.

Off to the races once again, not a second wasted once the other students were past them. Theo had the advantage, of course, because by holding onto her he could also push himself ahead as they restarted. That didn’t stop her from putting every bit of physical strength she had into battling for position. He could swat her away like a bludger all he wanted; Tilly was used to constantly being threatened with plummeting to her death as a Chaser. Doing so down a narrow staircase didn’t even bother her.

In a matter of moments, the sensation of cold, dungeon air leaked into the staircase, signifying that they only had a single half-turn left before they were back on even ground again. Tilly gave one last push, throwing Theo’s arm up to shove her way by, timing it perfectly as they hit the landing. And then proceeded to cause both of them to tumble forward. She was unable to keep herself up, the amount of momentum as they vied for position throwing her to the ground as her legs tangled with Theo’s. He absorbed most of her fall, aside from her knee banging off of the marble flooring. She’d forgotten how much it hurt to fall inside the castle.

”Oh, I’m sorry. Next time I’ll be more obvious about it,” she said as she started to get herself up, making sure to put both of her hands on his trunk and pushing down on him. ”You good?” Tilly asked. They’d landed pretty hard. Taking a trip back up to the Hospital Wing seemed annoying to do if he was hurt now.

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[Theodore Marcus Flint]

a fine young galahad.

THEO LAUGHED BRAZENLY AS TILLY SWUNG HER leg at his side with a brutal force, flinching out of reach only for her to stop just short of where it would've hit him. Stupid, rotten, conniving Chaser reflexes. "Okay, fine, you can be my archnemesis." He batted at her ankle as she dropped it, smirking at her as she held her chin aloft. Acting very villainous with her narrowed eyes and her careful, thinking mouth. Theo liked it, made him wonder just what she was going to do. Maybe kick him in the side for real this time, which was a thrilling thought all on its own.

And then they were running, with no real thought spared for heroes and villains when they were toe-to-toe. It was a competition of egos and wits, with Tilly's sheer determination surprising Theo more than he would've liked. He'd maybe take a second to reflect on this later, about how he really didn't know Tilly as well as he thought at times. She had a well of secret motivations that he couldn't figure out, which was as frustrating as it was exciting.

They battled down the narrow staircase, Tilly's spindly legs catching on the back of his shoes and calves, but Theo persevered. Not entirely unsure if she was trying to win, or push him to his death. With a final crush of her shoulder against his spine, Theo's back bowed and he went sailing down the last couple of steps. Grabbing at Tilly as she attempted to duck under his arm and sending them skittering on to the ground in a great big pile of losing limbs.

"That'd be awful kind of- oof." Theo grunted midsentence as Tilly's small hands crushed the softness of his belly as she used him to leverage herself to her feet. He scrambled to a sitting position, blinking the stars from his eyes and rubbing at the back of his head. "Like you care," He taunted, prodding at the egg forming on his scalp as he slowly ambled up onto his feet with a hop. "Have a look, make sure you can't see my brains." He bent his neck down to Tilly's height awkwardly so that she could see the back of his head. "Nothing a couple treacle scones and a cuppa can't fix, you think?" He turned his head to grin at her expectantly.

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Theo was right: she sort of didn't care about tiny, almost non-existent injuries. She did care about people being hurt, as she knew the boredom that came along with being stuck in the hospital wing for an extended period of time. According to the old nurse, she could reduce that down to zero if she simply didn't get injured. A novel idea. She had never thought of that before. Tilly had guaranteed the nurse that she would have a stern talk with the bludgers about purposely targeting her during matches and practice. That went over well, her sarcasm leaving the haggard witch looking more exhausted than she had been previously. If she hadn't wanted a smarmy response, she shouldn't have asked. She knew how Tilly was by now.

He offered up his scalp to look at, which Tilly gleefully accepted, separating the usually nicely combed waves of hair. She always hoped for gore, though the chances of that were slim in most minor injuries. Even better would be if she could poke and prod the supposed goose egg Theo was claiming to already have. "Ooof," she breathed out. "Unfortunately, I think you might live." There wasn't even a sign of where he'd banged his head, at least not yet. Patting him on the spot where he supposedly hit it, Tilly backed away. "And if it doesn't, I'll give you another smack." she said in response to pilfering food from the kitchens. Theo was a Beater, he'd taken worse hits for sure. Not nearly as many as her, but she could arrange for more from the Hufflepuff Beaters if she wanted. Nothing like a little violent prank in the middle of a match. "Since I feel bad, I'll let you tickle the pear," Tilly added as she headed off in the direction of the kitchens again. "It'll be the most action you'll ever get."

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[Theodore Marcus Flint]

a fine young galahad.

BENDING OVER SO THAT TILLY COULD INSPECT his injury, Theo felt the crick in his stiff neck just as Tilly signed him off and patted the back of his head none too gently. He flinched, and batted her hand away, rubbing at the spot as he looked down at her with a curl of his mouth. "Better luck next time, Poole." He quirked his brows and started off down the corridor toward the kitchens with Tilly following shortly beside him.

"Oh, you feel bad?" Tilly nudged her teasingly as they walked, almost tripping each other as they tangled arms and legs briefly. "I didn't know you were capable." He added, anticipating an equally barbed reply for the fun of it. Tilly rarely fell behind verbally, quick by the mouth as she was at running - despite her small and deceiving stature. She had more stamina than he gave her credit for.

"That's what you think, Flobberworm breath." He said with a haughty little tilt of his chin, but he still muscled his way forward to tickle the pear before she could change her mind and deny him the pleasure. The blushing fruit giggled and the door cracked, Theo had the decency to let Tilly go ahead, sweeping his arm dramatically to hurry her up before he pinched her side gently while stepping on the back of her shoes for the fun of it. It was all fun and games.

[END THEO?]

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She wished she hadn’t said anything about feeling terrible for the accident – she didn’t actually – because Theo latched right onto it. ”I’ll make sure that when you die, they let me be the one to take your organs out. How’s that sound?” Unless he wanted to be cremated. Then she wanted to be the one to pull the lever to send him into his fiery oblivion. Either worked for her. Finishing what she started sounded metal as fuck though, and she was totally behind being his personal mortician. If it wasn’t for having magic, she absolutely would have tried to get in to mortuary school. She still could, technically, but there were bigger fish to fry in her life currently.

”Only for you,” she joked as she watched him tickle the pear. Gross. She always hated how it seemed to giggle at being fondled. What kind of sick and demented portraits were these anyways? Tilly snorted at his counter of apparently getting action. They spent a lot of time together in and out of class. ”Your hand doesn’t count,” Tilly said as she was allowed to go first into the kitchen.

She really should have known better, as she felt a finger jab her side, causing her to react to it. At the same time, Theo managed to stop her in her tracks by stepping on her shoes. Stumbling into a throng of hard at work house elves wasn’t her idea of romantic, but at least they were quick to offer assistance as she got up and dusted herself off. ”At least they have manners,” she stuck out her tongue at Theo, before they were interrupted by a squeaky-voiced elf asking them what they wanted. After abandoning her salad, she’d take whatever they willing to give this afternoon.

[THE END]

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