your obedient servant [elias]

[Deleted]

dear sir,

First, I would like to extend congratulations from all of us here at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes on your abilities as a student and a wizard; it is an honor to be chosen to enter the Triwizard Tournament and shows a higher level of academic and practical skill than many of your classmates possess. We sincerely hope you enjoy your time at Hogwarts, and wish you the best of luck in winning the position of Triwizard Champion.

We believe that playing practical jokes is an integral part to any Hogwarts experience, and selected you as a lucky recipient of this sample package! In the attached package, you will find several of our Weasley's Wizard Wheezes products in our convenient sample sizes. I invite you to try all of the products enclosed and write back with any feedback you may feel prudent. Enjoy your time at Hogwarts!

your obedient servant,
f. weasley

@jill6

[Deleted]

dear mr. f weasley,

Thank you for the congratulations. I'm hoping to enjoy my time as well, and to make the right friends. Anything you might recommend?

I will definitely be trying the products as soon as possible. May I ask your favorite product you currently have?

sincerely,
elias greyback

@fred

[Deleted]

dear mr. greyback,

I'm not sure I can make any recommendations as to what company you should keep; there are both good and bad eggs in all houses. However, I would recommend that you find someone with a healthy taste of adventure; there's a lot to explore at Hogwarts, and you're going to need a competent guide. If it would please you, I can attach a map including all of the secret passages available at Hogwarts for your perusal.

I'm not at liberty to discuss which products are my favorite, but it might be better to start with a few of the milder pranks. The professors at Hogwarts are extrmeely familiar with the Wheezes joke products so starting out slow would benefit you as you learn how to evade the more conservative staff members.

your obedient servant,
f. weasley

@jill6

[Deleted]

dear mr. f weasley,

I would definitely love to see a map of Hogwarts! That would actually be extremely beneficial. I definitely love adventure, as well...maybe since you yourself are so close by, you could show me around? Unless that goes against work policy; then completely disregard my past question.

Thank you for the advice, Mr. Weasley. I will keep that in mind, as well as make sure I can figure out which staff is more conservative than others. It isn't usual for me to do pranks or to break rules at school, so I suppose I'm a newbie at all of this? Durmstrang is exceptionally strict...we'd never get away with doing a single thing there, so I'm sure Hogwarts will be quite a ride for me.

sincerely,
elias greyback

@fred

[Deleted]

dear mr. elias,

I’ve attached a map of the school, as promised. The more notable passageways (the ones that most older students have found) are marked in red, whereas the more clandestine passages are marked in purple. The ones that teachers know about are marked in green, so you’d best be careful when using them. Sadly, I can’t come and give you a tour myself – school policy, not store policy, unfortunately. The latter I’d be willing to break for a young man who’s obviously as talented and polite as yourself. Perhaps when Hogsmeade weekends come around we can arrange a meeting?

The most wonderful thing about doing something new is the discovery process. I don’t believe I would have been able to survive at a school like Durmstang – I was a problem child even at Hogwarts. I prefer to call myself a free spirit. I hope this letter finds you in good health.

your obedient servant,
fred weasley

@jill6

[Deleted]

dear mr. fred weasley,

I would like to thank you sincerely for the map. I will try my best to stick to the purple marked passageways as I do not want to get caught; that wouldn't give me a very good reputation among Hogwarts or Durmstrang. And that is quite alright, thank you for the compliments. I'm sure you're just as talented. I would be honored to have a meeting with you in Hogsmeade. If you don't mind me asking, what is Hogsmeade?

I believe everyone would survive Durmstrang had they started at eleven, just like you had survived Hogwarts. Free spirits are the best, but why do would you consider yourself a problem child?

sincerely,
elias greyback

@fred

[Deleted]

dear elias,

You are quite welcome; I’m always willing to share my knowledge with those who are worthy of it, though you’re the first one in a long time who’s shown any interest. Well, the first one who’s shown any interest and wouldn’t cause complete anarchy with the knowledge you possess. Pardon my silliness – Hogsmeade is a small village near Hogwarts. Students third year and above are allowed to visit there once a month to buy sweets and the like from the shops there. There’s another joke shop there, but it’s not nearly as good as mine.

As for why I’m problem child…let’s just say that my father flew away from an oppressive regime at Hogwarts on his broom after setting off about a hundred Galleons worth of fireworks, and I am most certainly his child. They were very familiar with my name in detention at Hogwarts. Though not as familiar as they would have been if I got caught doing everything I did. Hope to hear from you soon.

your obedient servant,
fred

@jill6

[Deleted]

dear fred,

Well there's no need to worry about me. I've never had the interest in causing any chaos. However, maybe you can teach me the side of chaos that you so gratefully possess. And that seems quite interesting, I'll definitely try to visit every shop there, especially the other joke shop. However I'm sure just as you said, your shop is much better than any other I may come in contact with.

That would be a very delightful show to see; there has never been anything to happen like that at Durmstrang. Hogwarts seems like a very fun place and I'm excited to see how my year goes. What kind of things have you done that got you into detention so many times? I've become quite curious. Hope you're doing well.

sincerely,
elias

@fred

[Deleted]

dear elias,

I never said that you couldn’t cause chaos – I said that you couldn’t submit to anarchy. There are a few very subtle differences between the two, which I’d be happy to elaborate on when we meet in person, if it so satisfies you. If you’re interested in visiting all of the Hogsmeade shops, perhaps I can give you a tour during the first Hogsmeade weekend so you’ll know where to go even if you don’t have a tour guide.

Telling you what I’ve done to get in detention would give you too many ideas. If you want an itemized list, it would probably take at least eight hours to write, and the entire school’s worth of owls to carry. We can just leave it at the fact that I was a trouble maker with a talent for finding new ways to break the rules. Hope to see you soon.

yours,
fred

@jill6

[Deleted]

dear fred,

I would greatly enjoy a tour of Hogsmeade, as well as clarification between the two. It will be enjoyable to see what you can teach, and what you can show.

Even so, maybe there will be a chance for you to tell me some things...learning is always a great experience. I hope to see you in Hogsmeade soon, but until then, have a great rest of your afternoon.

sincerely,
elias

@fred