i'm only a phone call away - emma

[Deleted]

@emma

karney tapped his finger against the table as he waited for his sister to arrive at the small pub in hogsmeade. she had owled him about needing to see him but he hadn't heard anything from her since and he was starting to worry. if she didn't show up to meet him he was going to have to let his parents know she might be in trouble. she was the baby of the family and he could tell something had been wrong when she'd written him. he'd been working out lesson plans when the owl had tapped on his window and the plans he had been working on lay untouched on his desk for him to return too. he hadn't told his kids he'd been coming to meet their aunt, they would have wondered what was wrong and he didn't see the point in worrying them for nothing. he ran his hand through his hair and glanced at his watch.

[Deleted]

@karney

Emma had sent her brother an owl out of desperation. She was going on a week of living in her place she shared with Duncan and she was going to go crazy if she had to look at that spot on the floor one more time... Not to mention her morning sickness was getting pretty intense and she was having a hard time motivating herself to eat anything. She needed to be around people, specifically her brother. He could keep her from going crazy. Perhaps she should be more specific. Karney could keep her from going crazy.

Karney,

I need to talk to you. ASAP. Something happened with Duncan and I might need a place to stay.

Don't worry. Everything's fine.

Now that she considered it, telling him not to worry probably made him worry even more. Not that he shouldn't, he definitely should. She needed to be worried about. But... she didn't want him to worry because there was nothing he could do. It was over and done. All she needed to do now was move on.

She knocked on the door to her brother's office, hoping he was waiting as his owl said he would be. She had sent the owl a few days ago and never responded to his, she had been a little consumed with her thoughts. She didn't wait too long before just opening the door, hoping he didn't have any students.

"Kareny?" she asked as she looked around the room, then smiled as she saw him. It wasn't a true smile, she was too tired for one of those. But it was relieved. He looked like he had in deed been worrying about her if the state of his hair was any way to judge. "I told you not to worry." she said with what she wanted to be a happy voice, but turned out rather sad. And that was when the tears started flowing.

OOC: oops.... I slipped!

[Deleted]

@emma

"Kareny?" he stood up when he saw her and moved around the table to close the distance between them. he had been so worried and now his baby sister was standing before him and he couldn't help but feel relief. she might not be okay but she was here and she was alive and that's all that counted. "I told you not to worry." he smiled softly as he moved to hug her tightly, not really giving her the chance to move away from him. he wanted to hug her and not let her go, his baby sister had been through something enough to change who she had been the last time he had seen her and he wanted to know what it was. "telling me not to worry? you know better em" he said as he kissed her head and looked at her. "are you okay?"

he's got a vice like hug hehe

[Deleted]

@karney

Her brother moved around his desk and then was wrapping his arms around her. She didn't wrap her arms around him, she could bring herself to do it. She was not worth this affection, but she needed it. So she held her hands to her chest as his hug squeezed out even more tears. She nestled her head under his chin as her tears dripped off her cheeks, landing on her clenched hands. She felt his lips kiss her head, if he knew what she had done he wouldn't be so loving. But he could never know. No one could.

"No." her voice came out thick with tears. "I'm not." there was no use in denying it, no use in trying to hide how she was feeling. Though she wouldn't tell him what happened, she could tell him that much.

She wondered why Karney was shaking her shoulder, but after a moment realized that was her sobs. When had that started? She had come to talk to him, not to cry. But his arms held her in a vice-like hug, and it was the safest she had felt in a year.

"I'm not okay." she whispered between sobs

[Deleted]

@emma

"No. I'm not." he frowned and hugged his baby sister closer when she started to cry. he wondered what had hurt her like this, if there was anything he could do. he never wanted to see em cry like this, any of his siblings would have him if they were ever upset but em was special. she was the baby of the family. he frowned and glanced down at her when she started to shake with the sobs racking her body and he bit his lip slightly. "it's okay em" he said softly as she kept crying. he knew from experience that it was better to cry and sob things out rather than hold it in. "I'm not okay." he pulled back from her slightly and looked down at her face as best he could, moving his hand to her cheek he wiped some of the tears that he could see away. "give yourself a moment .. then tell me what's wrong okay em? we can fix it. whatever it is. i promise" he said softly. he'd move the earth for his sister, she knew that.

he's got a vice like hug hehe

[Deleted]

@karney

Karney's arms were warm and comforting. She just wanted to tell him everything, get it all off of her chest. But she couldn't. She couldn't do that, he would try to fix it. And if anyone ever found out... no. She sobbed a little harder as she realized she would have to lie to her brother, to her family, to everyone. She hated lying. But if it would protect them from what she did... then she would do it.

For this moment, however, she just let herself cry.

She cried until her tears ran out and her breathing slowed. Her feelings of awe for her brother increased as he didn't squirm or try to make her stop. He just hugged her with his arms tightly around her, squeezing the last of the tears from her eyes. She pulled back from him and took a shaking breath to calm herself.

"Duncan left." she said softly. It was partially true, better than telling an all out lie. Right?

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@emma

"Duncan left." he let his face turn into a slight frown at that little piece of news. he hadn't liked the guy from the start, what emma had said about him. just something hadn't been sitting well in the back of his mind and now he knew why. if he couldn't see what a good thing he had then em was better off without him. not that karney was going to come out and say that. he didn't think em needed to hear his big brother thoughts in that very moment. "do you want to talk about it?" he asked her softly as he stepped back and leaned against his desk lightly and kept his eyes on his baby sister.

[Deleted]

@karney

Emma knew Karney didn't like Duncan, and as it turned out, for good reason. She had known that for a while. She had avoided visiting her brother for the last few months, not wanting him to see the bruises that sometimes blossomed on her skin. Falling down the stairs was an excuse that only worked so many times. No one could be that clumsy. And she wasn't. This was one of the first times she had been to see him in a while, which was probably another reason he had been so worried about her, even though she told him not to be.

Karney stepped back and asked if she wanted to talk about it. Emma opened her mouth, as if to start talking. But she couldn't. He couldn't know. She wouldn't put him at risk. She felt her breath catch in her throat. She needed to stop crying. Her mind seemed to think otherwise. She brought her hand to her mouth, covering her gasping breaths. Calm down, she told herself, even as her other hand covered the first. She started to shake her head. No. She wouldn't talk about it. She continued to shake her head, back up from him. Maybe she shouldn't have come. A chair bumped her leg as she took another step back and she sank into it. Her arms shifted from her mouth to around her waist and she started rocking back and forth, her shaking breaths turning into sobs. She had already done this, but apparently killing someone did strange things to the psyche.

[Deleted]

@emma

he frowned slightly when she covered her mouth to try and hide, he could only assume, the gasping breaths that were heaving from her chest. it killed him to see her like this. every part of him hurt trying to figure out what he could do to make her feel better but he was lost for words. he let her back up, didn't move toward her. he didn't try and say calming words, didn't try and tell her everything was going to be okay. he knew from his own experience that things weren't always going to be okay. he waited till she was sitting in the chair she had bumped into before walking over to her, he crouched down and rested a hand on her knee gently. "em? look at me" he said softly as he looked up at his baby sister.

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@karney

She didn't want to look at him. She didn't deserve his love, sympathy. She deserved to feel these feelings. Shaking her head, Emma looked down at the ground for a long moment before looking up at her brother. His face was blurry from her tears, but the concern there was still evident. She felt her chin start to shake as she tried to hold in her sobs, to hold back the tears, so she could look at him. Her breath shook as she inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself. It didn't seem to be working.

[Deleted]

@emma

he hated this. his heart was breaking at seeing his baby sister so distraught. he squeezed her knee and shifted his hands to her arms, rubbing her upper arms lightly as her body shook with the sobs she was trying to control. he wished he had the words to make her feel better, to stop the tears that were falling and to make her feel okay. he reached to the chair next to the one she was sitting on and pulled his old sweater jacket off the back of it and he moved to wrap it around her shoulders carefully. "it's okay em .. just look at me and keep breathing .. okay?" he said as he crouched down in front of her again, his eyes not leaving hers as he reached to clasp her hands in his. "i'm here."

[Deleted]

@karney

She tried to listen. Kareny's voice was the only thing keeping her grounded. He wrapped something around her shoulders, she didn't know what it was, but she felt slightly better with it there. Slightly. Then he was kneeling in front of her, taking her hands. Eyes squeezed shut, she took a shuddering breath, using it to lift her head so she could looka t her brother. Her crying didn't stop, but she did keep eye contact with him. It took a few minutes, but eventually the contact calmed her. Her breath only came in shudders every once in a while. She moved forward, falling to her knees so she could feel like a little girl in her brother's arms again.

In the time it took her to calm down, her mind was reeling, yet in a very logical way. No one was going to find out. He had not family, they had been killed two years ago. He didn't keep any friends after school. That meant her story of him leaving... it could work. No one would come looking for him. And if they did, they wouldn't find him. They couldn't. She was very good at transfiguration. Maybe this meant she could go on with her life. She could start a new life. finally, she closed her eyes, peaceful. It would be okay.