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last online May 11, 2024 3:03:34 GMT -7
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Sept 14, 2016 3:42:12 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2016 3:42:12 GMT -7
@magdalena <3 Gosh why should he stop saying it? Why? They were going to have to get used to it eventually and if she couldn't soon then oh well! It was there, it was inside her, and everything she did and felt from now on... It would know. Nikolai didn't want to take any chances of hurting the baby... Because even though he was deathly afraid, still very confused and extremely nervous, he cared for it. He didn't want it feeling any pain. Nikolai stood up and walked over to her. He sat on the couch next to her, wanting so badly to touch her belly, to talk to the baby. "No, Olli, I won't stop. I can't stop. It's what it is. And we need to figure out why this happened."
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last online May 11, 2024 3:03:34 GMT -7
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Sept 14, 2016 8:26:16 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2016 8:26:16 GMT -7
@jill9
Nikolai moved to sit next to Magdalena and she pulled her legs in tighter to herself as if to make sure they didn't touch. His words were far from comforting. How was he so calm about all this?! She buried her face in her knees as she tried to take slow and shaky deep breaths. "Isn't it to late for why?" she was still snappy. The aggressive comebacks and tones, while totally inappropriate, weren't surprising. When confronted with fear, Magi generally got quite aggressive verbally. "Oh god... What do we do?" she muttered under her breath, desperately trying to come up with an answer.
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last online May 11, 2024 3:03:34 GMT -7
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Sept 14, 2016 9:38:42 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2016 9:38:42 GMT -7
@magdalena <3 He noticed her reaction to him getting closer and his jaw dropped. Nikolai stood back up and backed away from her, even more offended at her snippy tone. "Don't talk to me that way, Magdalena. I'm trying to be as calm as possible and help you! And what's this all about, you moving away from me? Do you think I did this to you and it's my fault?" His own voice was angry, and a bit hurt all at the same time. Nikolai was completely shocked with the way she was acting towards him. Why did she move away...? His heart broke a bit as he thought of all the things that could be why she did so...
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last online May 11, 2024 3:03:34 GMT -7
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Sept 14, 2016 10:10:40 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2016 10:10:40 GMT -7
@jill9
Magdalena looked away from him, biting her lip in the process. She knew she shouldn't act like that. Or be snippy with him. She knew she shouldn't pull away like that. And yet for some reason... she couldn't help it. It just... happened. She didn't even understand why. Just that she was terrified, and confused, and trying to make some sense of all this but it wasn't working at all. What was she supposed to do? What would they do? They'd only been together a short time! They weren't ready for this kind of thing! "I don't know. I don't know!" She was repeating herself, the first time her voice had been pretty quiet but the second time it raised, matching his own. Did she think it was his fault? Well... Logically, it was, but it was just as much her fault. As the saying went, it took two to tango. But she wasn't thinking logically right now. As she was thinking was that she was pregnant, and didn't know what to do, and that was the scariest part.
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last online May 11, 2024 3:03:34 GMT -7
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Sept 14, 2016 11:07:41 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2016 11:07:41 GMT -7
@magdalena <3 Nikolai didn't know what to do either. They were both emotional and confused, and right now he didn't know how to feel. Niko didn't know if he should be upset, angry or what. But with this pregnancy... This baby! And now she didn't want to touch him! Nikolai looked at her, and then went and sat across the room from her, pulling his own legs up to his chest. This couldn't be happening. Was she afraid of him? His breathing became erratic, and he stared at the floor, a panic attack settling in.
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last online May 11, 2024 3:03:34 GMT -7
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Sept 14, 2016 11:37:46 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2016 11:37:46 GMT -7
@jill9
Nikolai moved to the opposite side of the living room, and Magdalena didn't look up. She kept her forehead against her knees, trying desperately to come up with a solution to all of this. Maybe it was a false positive. Those happened, right? Or..... Or..... Oh god, what were the solutions? Have the baby, obviously, or an abortion. That word immediately made Magi feel sick to her stomach. She couldn't do that. It'd been an accident, but that didn't mean the... the baby didn't deserve to live. Magi herself had been an accident, and her parents had decided to have her! She couldn't make the opposite decision. But at the same time she was only 18! Nikolai was 19! They weren't in any position to have a baby!
Magdalena was silent for a long time, her mind reeling but never able to come up with an answer. She kept her gaze averted the entire time. Was he blaming her for this? After all, she was the one that was pregnant. She should have been more careful or something... "I didn't..... mean for this to happen...." She finally whispered softly, her voice shaking as she finally look at him across the room. "I swear I didn't. Please believe me..." She finished, her voice just as soft and shaky.
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last online May 11, 2024 3:03:34 GMT -7
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Sept 14, 2016 15:28:20 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2016 15:28:20 GMT -7
@magdalena <3 Nikolai wrapped his arms around his legs, his chin resting on his knees. He was still only dressed in his sweatpants, but he wasn't sweating anymore. He was...shivering. He was cold. He sort of felt numb. Nikolai kept his gaze on the floor. He was nauseous again, but he was keeping it all in. He couldn't move. Magdalena didn't speak. What was going to happen? What were his parents going to think? Oh gosh. They were going to be so angry. Yes, he had a job, yes, he had a house. But...they weren't married. They hadn't been together long. Yes, Nikolai loved her and always would, but his parents might think otherwise.
Shockingly, Nikolai's voice was stern. It wasn't shaky. It wasn't nervous. But he was shutting down. Magdalena didn't realize how much she hurt him by turning away from him, acting afraid of him. She had pushed him away. He was...regressing to his old self. "I never said you did."
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last online May 11, 2024 3:03:34 GMT -7
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Sept 14, 2016 15:39:50 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2016 15:39:50 GMT -7
@jill9[/center Magdalena didn't like how he was acting. And she knew it was her fault. She'd flinched away earlier, and she kept snapping at him. That wouldn't solve anything. It's just make it worse, as was already being proven. She closed her eyes, and took a slow and shaky deep breath. "I'm sorry..." There were... Consequences. What were they going to to? They were ready to raise a baby! What would his parents think? She hadn't even met them yet! Or his sisters?! What would her brother think when he found out? What if it affected his career? She pulled her hands right against her chest to stop them from shaking. "Nikolai.... I.... I'm scared." she finally admitted it.
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last online May 11, 2024 3:03:34 GMT -7
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Sept 14, 2016 15:47:15 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2016 15:47:15 GMT -7
@magdalena <3 Scared. Nikolai wasn't even sure if that defined how he was feeling. Or, what he wasn't feeling. This was...he didn't even know. Words weren't forming in his brain. How was Niko supposed to be a dad? He couldn't even be honest with his own father about what he wanted to do as a career . Hell, he couldn't even touch people. He'd have to get over that. And soon. Especially if they were going to have an infant. But then again, Nikolai knew a baby wouldn't hurt him so it might not be as hard to touch it.
His eyes finally moved up from the floor to Magdalena, down to her stomach, and back to her. "Me too."
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last online May 11, 2024 3:03:34 GMT -7
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Sept 14, 2016 20:42:32 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2016 20:42:32 GMT -7
@jill9
Why was it so.... so strange having Nikolai look at her stomach? It didn't look any different on the outside. It didn't feel any different. And yet.... yet and it was. A baby was growing in there! She shouldn't be thinking about that, because it made her breathing pick up, closer to hyperventilating again. She felt like panicking the more she thought about it, and now she really wished she hadn't flinched away from him like that. It hadn't been because of him. Just...Just the whole situation had her freaking out. She didn't know what to expect! At least Nikolai had younger sisters! HE could.... at least vaguely remember them being little, right? She didn't have any of that! She was the accidental child. HEr brother was old enough to be her father for crying out loud! She'd never spent any time around infants! Her breathing was getting a little to fast by this point. "Will you.... will you come back over here...?" She asked, desperation and pleading in her voice. She was terrified. And panicking. And confused. And she'd pulled away from the one person that would help all of that. She desperately wanted him to come back.
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last online May 11, 2024 3:03:34 GMT -7
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Sept 14, 2016 20:46:39 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2016 20:46:39 GMT -7
@magdalena <3 Nikolai shook his head. He couldn't. He couldn't go back to her. Not after that, at least not yet. He felt sort of betrayed. Yes, they were going to have a baby. Yes it was too soon and yes it was an accident. But it was still happening and that didn't mean they should push one another away this was the time they had to be honest and extremely close with each other. Nikolai looked down at the ground and then back up to Magi. "No. I can't."
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last online May 11, 2024 3:03:34 GMT -7
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Sept 14, 2016 23:01:57 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2016 23:01:57 GMT -7
@jill9
No.
Magdalena's eyes widened. That.... she hadn't expected that at all. She hadn't felt hurt until that moment. She was trying to sort this all out, and she knew she couldn't do it alone. And yet.... he'd said no. He'd even been looking at her when he said it, and she couldn't read the emotion in his eyes. He'd always been a hard one to read. She averted her eyes, unable to meet his gaze any longer and swallowed, as if trying to burying the feelings of hurt and pain down before he could see them. She, at least, was pretty good at that. Hiding her emotions when she really wanted to. But, she also had a pretty big tell that Nikolai was aware of, and that was she didn't keep eye contact when she's was upset. He'd seen it so many times before, there was no way of fooling him any more. "Fine. We'll.... talk later." She muttered, still avoiding eye contact. She slowly got up from the couch, and held onto the arm of the couch as her head swam for several moments. Thankfully, she didn't black out this time, and the spinning soon settled. When it finally did, she let go of the couch's arm, and left the living room. She refused to look at him, just headed silently upstairs. She didn't go into their bedroom though. Instead, she went down the hall, to the one farthest from the master bedroom and shut the door behind her. Only then, once alone, did she finally start crying. Magi curled up on the bed and silently cried. She wasn't ready to have a baby. She wasn't ready to be a mother. She wasn't ready to raise a child. She wasn't ready for any of this.
[END]
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