a friendly face in troubled times - neville

[Deleted]

@superluigi64

walking into the leaky cauldron albus moved to the bar and sat down, dropping the bag he had with a lot of his stuff in in, that expanding charm was something that always came in handy when packing. he had left a bunch of stuff in his room at the potter house, he'd figure out what to do with it later. he hadn't wanted to be there when his parents got home so he had just grabbed what he'd needed till school started and then he'd go from there. he had written his mother a letter and left it on the table, explaining what had happened and that he wasn't going to be coming home, at least till the end of the summer. he didn't want to fight with his father again. it was something people believed albus liked doing, fighting. he hated it. he didn't like letting his temper get the better of him but it happened so often. it had been getting better though, today had been the first real time he'd wanted to loose it during the whole summer.

he ran his hand through his hair and ordered a drink. he took the glass between his fingers and downed the small glass of firewhiskey. thank merlin he was seventeen. he knew he should go knock on the door to the apartment that neville and his family lived in but he didn't think he was ready for that. it had been a hard afternoon. he hated the fact his family, at least if felt like it to him, treated him different than lily and james. he felt like he'd been expected to have a plan for when he graduated .. that he wasn't allowed to take sometime out and do nothing while he figured it all out. it hadn't felt fair to him .. though he could only imagine what his father would say if he heard that, after all he'd pretty much said everything al had done wasn't worth anything. he sighed and ordered another drink, resting his head on his hand as he watched the drink get poured into the glass.

[Deleted]

Unknown to Albus, he’d walked right past Neville as he came into the Cauldron. The former Gryffindor had been leaning against the wall by the door, waiting. The things in the letters Albus had sent him…he couldn’t resolve them inside his head. Neville just could not for the lfie of him imagine Harry being disappointed in Albus—in anyone!—for not being like he was at that age. Merlin, Harry didn’t want Harry to have the life he’d had at 17. But Harry was never the best at holding his temper, either, and Albus was more like his father than he understood. Neville wondered if Albus had managed to get under Harry’s skin without realizing it somehow.

Still, right now wasn’t the time to try and puzzle out what exactly had happened. Right now, he needed to be a godfather.

So he followed the steps of the middle Potter child over to the bar. The bartender glanced at him questioningly, but Neville nodded his assent to pouring the second drink. He would try to discourage Albus from doing this, but the boy was a legal adult, and Neville couldn’t actually stop him. More to the point, he wouldn’t. Everyone needed to make mistakes, that was how you learned. If the lesson came in the form of a splitting headache and a severe weakness to sound, well, that would drive it home all the more.

Neville sat down on the stool beside Albus, facing out into the Cauldron proper, his back against the bar, and looked over. “Drink all you want, but you’ll never be able to drink enough to make it go away.” The problem would just come back. Alcohol was a temporary fix for people at best. At worst, it could make emotional problems go away forever…at the expense of far worse mental and physical problems. He’d heard it even killed Muggles, since there seemed to be no nonmagical fix for the problems drinking too much caused to the body. “A butterbeer, please.” With the warm, foaming drink in front of him, Neville looked over at Albus at last. He still remembered being named godfather. Phil was just three months old at the time, and Neville had high hopes that the two would become good friends, the way Alice and Jamie had.

Well. Can’t have everything in life.

“We can let your dogs run around in the Grove. There’s a couple places I’ll need your help to fence off first, then you can go get them.” He knew Albus wouldn’t go for long without his pets.

@al

[Deleted]

@superluigi64

“Drink all you want, but you’ll never be able to drink enough to make it go away.” so that's why the bartender had glanced at something behind his shoulder. neville had been standing somewhere in the room. well al hadn't been looking all that hard if he was being honest with himself. he downed the second drink as neville settled on the stool next to him and he couldn't help the shrug of his shoulders. "i'm not trying to drink it away. i'm thirsty" he said, still slightly tense. he cringed inwardly. he rubbed his hand over the back of his neck and dropped his head slightly. he worked his fingers into the base of his neck lightly, where he could feel the tension still ebbing away from earlier. he didn't want to be mad still. it was a horrible feeling. it was times like this he wished he had been born a nicer person, or at least one with a healthy attitude toward letting his feelings be known. he had tried to change but that just made him feel worse in a way. no matter what he chose it was still difficult for him, telling people and holding back, both caused problems.

“We can let your dogs run around in the Grove. There’s a couple places I’ll need your help to fence off first, then you can go get them.” al nodded slightly and took his hand from his neck and looked at his godfather. neville had always been there for him, in ways his father had tried at times and failed to be. he trusted the man sitting before him more than he trusted anyone in his life, even his parents. it was strange he knew but that's how he felt. "thanks" well that was something, he'd been worried about leaving his dogs there but he hadn't wanted to bring them today, it would upset them and he hadn't even known if he'd be allowed to keep them here. "i wouldn't trust dad not to give them away while i'm not there" he knew it probably wouldn't happen but he'd never thought his father would say what he said earlier either so they were in unknown territory at the moment.

"butterbeer, please" he said to the bartender as he took away the empty small glass al had had the firewhiskey in. he knew neville was going to want to know what happened and al would tell him, he just wanted to make sure he was a little calmer before he did. neville knew better than anyone what happened at the moment if al got upset. though he hadn't blown anything up over the summer. "i guess you want to know what happened?" he asked as he sipped at the buttery liquid that had been placed before him. just thinking about it again started to make al's back get up and he gripped the glass tighter slightly, his knuckles slowly turning white on the handle as he took another long drink.

[Deleted]

Albus had a rather snippy response to Neville’s comment about alcohol, which meant he was really in a bad mood. He was often short with Neville, that was simply his nature, but he was almost never waspish. Whatever had gone down had been really bad. And with Albus being just as stubborn as both of his parents, he wouldn’t be returning home to them any time soon. Even if Neville tried to send him back, it wouldn’t happen. He’d go his own way, no matter how hard it was. But keeping him here, where he had food and shelter and people he could trust, was far better than anywhere else. Particularly where safety was concerned. If word got out that the middle Potter child had a vicious falling out with his own father, and had not found a good place to live? Ripe target for the Purifiers for multiple reasons.

Albus’ next comment was entirely out of hand, though. Harry wouldn’t be able to give those dogs away, no matter what had happened. This was the Weasley blood in Albus talking, now. The Weasleys were many things, most of them good, but they were not charitable when they didn’t like someone. Ron and Ginny could get downright vicious when they didn’t like someone, and not be at all fair about it.

“I guess you want to know what happened?”

Neville looked over at Albus, who was now sipping butterbeer casually. That was good, much better than slugging down firewhiskey. Neville smiled and patted him on the shoulder. “Not tonight. And not until you’re ready to talk about it.”

The smile quirked up into a smirk as Neville spun around on his stool to face the bar, setting his half-empty mug down. “Instead, let’s talk about the chores your aunt plans for you to do while you’re here.”

Heh. They would never turn any of their honorary godchildren, nieces, or nephews away, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t make them EARN their keep. Their own children had to, after all.

@al

[Deleted]

@superluigi64

al felt neville's hand on his shoulder and he turned to face him. “Not tonight. And not until you’re ready to talk about it.” odly enough a strange sensation wash over him and he didn't understand it but he wanted to tell neville now. to talk about what had happened and how neville had had the misfortune of ending up friends with someone like his father. he nodded slightly and turned the glass in his hand once more before raising his glass to his mouth and downing what was left in the glass. which had been almost half. “Instead, let’s talk about the chores your aunt plans for you to do while you’re here.” chores. a plan. things for him to do. oddly it reminded him of a conversation he'd had early that day but he knew neville had different motivations behind the chores. "i'll do what aunt hannah asks me to do" he said as he slid the glass toward the bartender for him to fill it up again. so much for not wanting to drink his feelings away but he could feel himself relaxing, even if it was just a tiny bit.

it wasn't the first time albus had drunk but it had only been on the rare occasion and then it had only been a small glass of firewhiskey, the stuff had never really appealed to him before today. he could feel it though, his toes were starting to get warm and he felt like leaning forward on the bar and lounging a little. but he didn't, he might be drinking but he was still albus potter. for the most part. the next words that came out of his mouth were a surprise even to him but he couldn't stop them .. he didn't even know what they were going to be till he was saying them. "how did nice people like you and aunty hannah get caught up with someone awful like my dad .." he asked, taking the glass of butterbeer back from the bartender and he took another mouthful of it, staring at the back of the pub as he spoke. "i mean he's arrogant .. egotistical .. big headed .. thinks he's better than everyone else" he muttered as he kept drinking from the glass. and at some point his muttering became less of a question to neville and more to himself.

"thinks he's so wonderful .. everything thing he's famous for he did cause of luck .. all he did was cross his fingers and hope for the best .. he's not so great." he said into the glass. "always knew he thought i was worthless .. now i know why he always played favorites" he stopped mumbling when the glass in his hand was empty. he frowned at the bottom of it. "i swear i thought there shoulda been more in this pint" he said. it was going to his head now, the room was starting to spin slightly and as he put the glass down on the bar his head dropped down too, his arm moving from hanging at his side to being put under his head as a pillow. "he always expects more from me .. it's not fair. nothing i do is ever good enough" he said into his arm as he turned his head for the first time in a while to look at neville, hoping that the older male was still sitting there and hadn't gotten bored of him talking to himself.

[Deleted]

Albus readily agreed to do any chores asked of him, which made Neville smile. Few people crossed his wife willingly. But the next words were a tumble of anger and bitterness that surprised him. Even with a little too much alcohol in him, Albus shouldn’t be this angry. But it seemed he couldn’t stop the rant. It was surprising, because Neville had heard these rants about Harry a dozen times…from his enemies. Disgraced Death Eaters, certain children of theirs, and even a couple of people who just had the misfortune of being captured by the two of them in their early Auror days, before Ron had joined them.

But the real kicker was when Albus claimed that Harry thought he was worthless.

What in Merlin’s name had happened?

Neville didn’t know about Harry playing favorites or not. But he’d been around Harry long enough to know that the man had an easier time understanding James than Albus. Maybe that was something Albus was perceiving as favoritism? What a mess.

“He always expects more from me...it's not fair. Nothing I do is ever good enough.”

The alcohol was beginning to get to him now. Neville wondered whether he would remember any of this in the morning. Not that that made a difference to his words or actions. “Higher expectations don’t feel fair, but sometimes, they're saddled onto people with higher goals, or who show more promise. Take me. I have tried to teach all my children equally, but I pushed Phil and Jayden into things that I didn’t push Alice. It’s not that I don’t think Alice could handle them, but Phil and Jay both want to be Aurors, and Alice doesn’t. So there are things they have to be able to do that she doesn’t. Phil and Jay have to be able to deal with people they don’t like, and do it fairly, where Alice does not. You miiight have noticed, she can be a bit prickly.” He smiled at the thought of his daughter’s powerful cold shoulders. “And I've made Alice do things that Phil and Jay haven't, because taking care of animals can get messy in a way that being an Auror very rarely will.”

The former Auror shrugged. He wasn't trying to cover for Harry, but he also didn't want Albus to assume the worst. “So it could be that Harry is seeing or hoping for something from you that he doesn’t from James. I don’t know. But in the end, it doesn’t matter why he expects more from you. What matters is—what do you expect from yourself? And are you living up to that? Harry’s your father, he’s always going to want a better life, a safer life, a happier life for you. But in the end, it’s your life to live. Not his. The only person you need to live up to is the one in the mirror.”

He reached over and patted his godson on the shoulder. “Just remember not to set your bar too high or too low, and you’ll be fine.”

@al

[Deleted]

@superluigi64

“Higher expectations don’t feel fair, but sometimes, they're saddled onto people with higher goals, or who show more promise. Take me. I have tried to teach all my children equally, but I pushed Phil and Jayden into things that I didn’t push Alice. It’s not that I don’t think Alice could handle them, but Phil and Jay both want to be Aurors, and Alice doesn’t. So there are things they have to be able to do that she doesn’t. Phil and Jay have to be able to deal with people they don’t like, and do it fairly, where Alice does not. You miiight have noticed, she can be a bit prickly. And I've made Alice do things that Phil and Jay haven't, because taking care of animals can get messy in a way that being an Auror very rarely will.” all of that was true, even in his diminished mindset at the moment he knew all that about treating kids differently. but it seemed to be more extreme in his family. "i bet you never made them think you didn't love them .. you're a nice guy .. you'd never make them think that .. they're awesome" he said into his glass as he set it down and leaned his head down onto his arm and burped into it. he pulled a face and made a noise that could be a groan but he muffled it against the skin of his arm.

“So it could be that Harry is seeing or hoping for something from you that he doesn’t from James. I don’t know. But in the end, it doesn’t matter why he expects more from you. What matters is—what do you expect from yourself? And are you living up to that? Harry’s your father, he’s always going to want a better life, a safer life, a happier life for you. But in the end, it’s your life to live. Not his. The only person you need to live up to is the one in the mirror.” he was. well he thought he was. he was living up to the expecations he had set for himself. he had had goals at the start of the year and the year before and he'd completed them. he could turn into an animal and cast magic without using a wand or talking. but according to his dad that didn't mean anything. it was worth nothing. james was still better than him in his father's eyes. "i did .. i do. it's high. i set them." he burped again and lifted his head from his arm to look at neville. "but .. something from him would have been nice. i can turn into a fucking animal .. and i can cast magic without needing a wand .. or talking .. but .. but it wasn't enough. he still had a go at me about not doing anything and about it not meaning anything. i mean .. james! james has been sitting on his butt for the whole summer .. except when he's got his head buried in natalia's neck. and he lets him! hell he seems proud that james is doing nothing .. but me? nooo-oooo. i have to have a plan" he said as he hit his hand down on the bar to emphasis his point. "i'm not allowed to spend a summer doing nothing. i'm not allowed time to work out my future. i'm not allowed to do nothing but snog my girlfriend .. worthless people according to my dad have to earn their keep. only the kids he like get free rides" he shook his head slightly and pushed his hand through his hair and motioned for the bartender to pour him another drink. when the guy looked at neville al frowned and tapped his hand on the bar. "another ooooone. i'm old enough .. i want another drink" whether he needed one or not was another question but he sure as hell wanted one.

[Deleted]

Albus was quickly deteriorating into a very inebriated state. His ramblings focused on his father, on his brother, and Neville innocently swiped at his neck. If Albus looked at him, it would look like he was scratching his neck, but his bartender knew the signal for cutoff well enough to catch the real meaning.

Neville listened, but inside he was worried. This didn’t seem like Harry, but neither was Albus known for lying to him. Albus had rarely come to see Neville after starting Hogwarts, but it was always for advice or help when something was too big for him to handle on his own, and when he did come he tended to be upfront and honest. Either Harry wasn’t himself right now, or Albus was lying.

And it worried Neville that he knew Albus lying was the less likely.

Finally Albus started calling for another one, and Neville took this as his cue. He slowly, casually pulled out his wand and pressed it to the base of his godson’s skull, pushing the middle Potter child those last few steps into slumber. He sighed and stood up. “I’ve got him,” he said, waving off the bartender before he hefted the boy over his shoulder. And hefted was right. Al was about the same size as Jayden, not as muscled as himself or Phil due to their constant grunt work with Herbology, but definitely bulkier than Harry had ever been. “I’m going to put him upstairs. Floor’s yours for the next ten minutes.”

[End thread]
@al