a special kind of double [Parvati]

[Deleted]

The first task of the Tournament was today, and Padma was not ready for it. Oh, it was as safe and well-prepared of an event as she could possibly make it while refusing to know any details, but she was still not ready for it. It was tied up in so many memories, and few of them were good. Really, between who was running things, it was a wonder it had happened at all, but just because you were running things didn’t mean you controlled every decision, clearly.

So the Triwizard Tournament began in earnest today, and she was at Hogwarts. She would be liaising with folk from all over Europe all day, ensuring their trips went smoothly, that Scotland was treating them well, and all of that. Oh, it mattered, and her staff would handle a lot of the problems, but that was a situation for another time. For now, she was having breakfast with her sister.

She sat in the spot beside Parvati and dished some scrambled eggs onto her plate. "Wouldn’t have predicted this 28 years ago,” she said with a smile, looking out on the tables filled with students decked out in their school colours. "Did you sleep well?”

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

Having her twin sister back at Hogwarts for the time being was surreal. As Head of the Department of International Magical Cooperation, Padma was busier than ever, though Parvati felt fortunate that her sister's responsibilities had happened to cross paths with her own. Not being able to see her sister for weeks, if not entire months, at a time was difficult. Sometimes it did feel to Parvati as though she didn't have a part of her identity without Padma around, and she was especially thankful to have some time with her before the First Task.

At the House tables before them, Parvati was sure, there were probably a few students who were puzzled to see a virtually identical copy of their school counselor at the High Table. Explaining that she was, in fact, an identical twin was usually more entertaining for the person to whom she was explaining it, because shortly thereafter came the more bizarre questions. What was funniest about it was that Padma was both a Legilimens and an Occlumens; while Parvati herself was neither, she could claim that her sister was capable of reading her mind. The closest that Parvati had ever come to that, meanwhile, was in being able to finish Padma's sentences on occasion.

As Parvati was cutting into a slice of fried tomato, she heard Padma comment that she wouldn't have been able to predict “this”: that they were in the positions they were in, about to watch another Triwizard Tournament. It had been almost three decades since the last one had been held at Hogwarts, and listening to Padma say it aloud made Parvati feel incredibly old.

She was saved from that train of thought when Padma asked her if she had slept well, to which Parvati nodded and gave a laugh. “Eventually,” she replied. She had been kept awake by thoughts of the Tournament, particularly how Anna was faring. If there was enough time, she hoped that she would be able to check in with her before the task's start. Otherwise, she would have to cross her fingers and wait for her duties as a judge to be finished for the day.

Parvati didn't doubt her sister's judgment, nor did she doubt Neville's, though she was constantly reminded that Anna's safety hung in the balance. She would be alright. She had the world's eyes on her, plus countless Aurors and others stationed at the ready.

“You?” Parvati asked, turning her head to look at Padma. It must have felt odd, the way it had felt for her to return to Hogwarts as a member of its staff back in the spring, especially since it had been in the wake of the kidnappings. Parvati tried to speak her next realization conversationally, but it was impossible for it to come out as anything but concern. “You haven't been here since the battle, have you?”

@padma

[Deleted]

She laughed when Parvati admitted that she had only slept well ‘eventually’. She didn’t need to be a Legilimens to know her sister, and that the same concerns and memories ran through the event. Different perspectives, of course, but the same too. “That’s what I thought. Are you worried about Anna’s abilities, or just her nerves?” Oh, she was supposed to be one of the impartial judges, and she would be. But her sister’s charge meant that she was invested in her success - which, she would not hesitate to point out, was not the same as her victory.

She shook her head to her sister’s return of the question. “Hardly slept.” That probably wouldn’t ease her sister’s concern, but she wasn’t going to lie either. She had been so relieved when her son’s name had not been pulled from the Goblet. There was some unshakable guilt that for three families, that wouldn’t be happening, not for six more months. No matter what steps she had taken, there would be dangers. There was no point in pretending otherwise.

And then they were back to Hogwarts and the Battle. She buttered her toast, and shook her head again. “I was, but I finished up my NEWTs at an accelerated rate and got out fast. It was still… well. You remember what it looked like then. ” How could she not remember - it was burned in Padma’s memory, superimposed over everything good that had happened like a shadow she couldn’t shake. That was why Padma had gone to India in the first place - something to break her out of the haze of survival and back into herself. “Now it almost looks as if it had never happened.”

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

“That’s what I thought. Are you worried about Anna’s abilities, or just her nerves?”

Taking a bite of tomato as her sister asked the question, Parvati waited until she had swallowed to respond. “She really is clever, Padma.” There was no doubt about that. “And she's every inch the Champion the media have reported,” Parvati added, “but I know she's been fretting over this…” If Anna could only see the promise that the rest of the world saw in her, Parvati knew that she would succeed.

There was some consolation in hearing that Padma hadn't slept, either. She had plenty to consider, too, from the Ministry's side, and it was likely that she would be devoting any free time she had later in the day to mingling with their foreign guests. Hopefully, none of them had any significant complaints for her.

Padma reminded her that she had been back, although it hadn't been in quite some time. She had gone on to sit her exams—the Ravenclaw that she was—although she hadn't wanted to hang around the castle any longer than necessary. “You remember what it looked like then.” It was amazing how quickly Hogwarts had returned to its former glory, although the memories of what had happened in 1998 had never once left Parvati's mind.

“Now it almost looks as if it had never happened.”

Parvati smiled somewhat. She didn't want her memories of the battle to cloud her thoughts on what was supposed to be an exciting day for all involved. “Doesn't it?”

“How've you been?” Parvati asked, changing the subject for both of their benefits. “I'm sorry I haven't had much time to write you lately.”

@padma

[Deleted]

“Nerves are good,” she reminded her sister. “Nerves mean she’ll be paying attention when the time comes, and that will help. And I know she has excellent teachers and supports - from what you say, she’ll be just fine.” And Merlin help her, she thought as she took a bit of her toast, if any of the Champions did not come out just fine, then she would give her staffers a verbal lashing to remember.

Padma looked up at the finials above the Head Table and smiled. She knew they hadn’t all made through the battle intact - there had been dust everywhere - but she couldn’t tell which ones. It was absolutely seamless. “It’s really quite remarkable. I mean, I have no doubt that it was quite the effort, but Hogwarts magic never ceases to amaze me.”

Her sister apologised for not writing, and Padma shook her head. “You’ve been busy, I know. I’ve been busy too, obviously, or I’d have written too! A lot of worry, thanks to the Tournament. And, well, all of the other goings-on have not helped matters for the department either. But apart from that, life at home has been quiet.” Although she missed her children while they were at school, there was something to be said for spending time just her and Dean. It was an island of calm in a world of crazy, and by the smile on her face it was clear that quiet was an excellent thing in Padma’s books.

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

Padma was quick to remind her that Anna's nerves weren't necessarily to her detriment. She did have a good support system, and hearing her sister say that made Parvati realize that she was probably included among them, herself.

She caught Padma looking up at something, although it took Parvati a moment to realize what she was doing. It was impossible to tell what had been reconstructed after the Battle of Hogwarts and what had been there for centuries—possibly millennia—before. “It’s really quite remarkable.” There was something special about it, and Parvati looked up and smiled, too.

About her lack of communication with her sister, Padma shrugged it off. “You’ve been busy, I know. I’ve been busy too, obviously, or I’d have written too!” That made Parvati feel better about it; it wasn't as though Padma had written her and she had left her letters unanswered.

Life at home for her, Padma said, had been quiet. It hadn't been such a long time since she and Ernie had been at home while their sons were away at school, and Parvati knew that it was wrong of her to be so envious of her twin sister's luck in love. Still, Padma had gotten everything she had ever wanted in life: She had the incredible, high-ranking job and the wonderful husband.

Every time their sons had gone off to Hogwarts, Parvati had spent her time trying to rekindle the spark that she and Ernie had felt. It had never worked out for them, though that much was apparent from their divorce.

“You're so lucky, you know?” Parvati laughed. “I thought getting married would solve all my problems.” Trying to keep a straight face, she began to mimic their mother. “‘Why are you still single?’ ‘If you could cook, you would have a husband…’ I got married, and I still can't cook. I'm surprised Mummy hasn't started blaming that for my divorce.”

@padma

[Deleted]

Parvati said she was lucky, and she was. She had an amazing and supportive husband who had once moved continents to be with her as she achieved her goals, two well-behaved children, and a job that was demanding but important and rewarding. Padma was incredibly lucky. ”Oh, I never forget it.”

When Parvati started mimicking their mother and her critiques, she burst out laughing, mercifully just moments after putting her tea back on the table. “Oh, that’s just it. I thought she was going to have a conniption when I first went to India. An unmarried girl exploring on her own - what a scandal! And the second time was even worse, I think, because who would marry someone so independent-minded? Didn’t stop her from fretting even when I was married.”

“Just give her time, I’m sure she’ll get to it.” She shook her head and laughed lightly again. Their mother was wonderful, but sometime her ideas were a little traditional. “Somehow I doubt that’s the real reason.” She had her own theories about it naturally, none of them favourable to a certain former Hufflepuff, but it wasn’t the time - and even if it was, none of them involved her twin’s cooking skills.

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

It was a fortunate thing that Padma had set her teacup down before Parvati started with her imitation of their mother; otherwise, the result could have been disastrous. With the both of them in peals of laughter, however, any spilled tea would have been humorous.

“At least you went back to India!” Parvati pointed out with another giggle as Padma recalled how their mother had nearly had a fit when she had left. She understood why their parents had been frustrated by Padma's decision; they had put so much effort into building a life for their family in Britain, and they couldn't comprehend why she would want to go back to the very place that they'd left for broader horizons.

“All I got was why I couldn't be like you and appreciate my culture,” Parvati reminisced, although their mother and father had had to get past their initial shock first.

Padma told her that their mother just needed some more time to bring up all of the possible reasons behind why Parvati and Ernie's marriage had failed. “Somehow,” Parvati was pleased to hear her twin grant her, “I doubt that's the real reason.”

“I mean, my ex just so happened to be a two-timing son of a banshee,” Parvati replied, laughing again between bites of food to hide how much the divorce still stung. “Minor details, really.”

“Sometimes, I wonder what would have happened if I'd agreed to an arranged marriage.” It was an antiquated practice, yet there were still families—primarily the ones that were most concerned with matters of blood purity—who swore by it. There were all manner of problems that could have arisen with that situation, too, though imagining what could have been didn't hurt a thing… nor did it alter the present.

“…Is it selfish of me to say that I'd like to be in a relationship again?” she asked, hoping that Padma would give her an honest answer. Parvati wanted proof that there wasn't something wrong with her, despite her age and the fact that she had two teenagers. Most everyone they knew had married and had children when they were relatively young. What were the chances that anyone would want her, now that she was another man's leftovers?

@padma

[Deleted]

“Damned if you do, damned if you don't,” Padma replied to her sister noting that whatever their mother’s reactions to Padma’s leaving, she’d also despaired of Parvati for not going. It also sounded an awful lot like their mother. She loved her mother to pieces, of course, but she could worry a ridiculous amount.

No matter how her sister tried to hide it, even make jokes about it, Padma could tell that the divorce still hurt. “Well he’s a fool. And just say the word, and you know I’ll hex him silly. Or her, for that matter. And not just some Bat-Bogey Hex - things they’ll have to work to fix.” Oh, she knew she shouldn’t, knew it was rather dark, and she was sure she would be neither the first nor the last person to make the offer, but she would follow through without a moment’s regret.

It was odd to hear her sister thinking about arranged marriages. It wasn't unheard of amongst the pureblood families, and their lineage was plenty pure enough that they could have made matches that way, but an arranged marriage would probably have made her miserable. Of course, an unarranged marriage had made her sister miserable, so she supposed it was as reasonable a thought as any. “Well, I suspect the both of us would have been too independent for the cute ones, and so you’d have ended up with some broke second cousin with a harelip,” she answered, trying to make her sister smile.

And then Parvati asked if it was selfish to want a relationship again. “Of course it's not selfish. You deserve to be happy. And you're gorgeous and you're loving and you're smart, and anyone who isn't a fool should be thankful you're giving them the time of day.” And yes, she might be laying it on a little thick, but she was pretty sure it was what Parvati needed to hear, and she meant all of it.

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

There really was no pleasing some people, and, as much as Parvati loved and respected her, that also held true for their mother. Padma summed it up perfectly when she said that they were damned if they did and damned if they didn't.

Parvati knew that she could always rely on Padma to back her up, and she smiled when her sister threatened to hex Ernie, or—from the sounds of it—Pansy, too. “And not just some Bat-Bogey Hex—things they’ll have to work to fix.” Parvati might have laughed in response, but she knew that Padma was dead serious. (She would have done the same for her, too.)

The momentary discussion of arranged marriages was quickly quashed before Parvati could get any ideas or become too far gone in her wishful thinking. Padma brought up the very good point that they were both far too independent for any man to whom their parents could have arranged a marriage, “and so you’d have ended up with some broke second cousin with a harelip.”

Unfortunately, there was no way to gracefully snort with laughter, so Parvati put a hand over her mouth before she could reach that point. As usual, Padma was right again, though that might have been related to her appreciation of logic.

When she brought up the idea of having another relationship post-divorce, Padma was as encouraging as Parvati had hoped. She didn't think that it was selfish of her, she said, adding that she deserved to be happy. Parvati wasn't sure if Padma could call her gorgeous, since they were identical twins, but she didn't mind that her sister was trying to make her feel better about herself with the addition of a few compliments.

“Thanks,” she said. “I know Ernie will always be the boys' father, and I don't want them to think that I'm trying to replace him…” Besides her lack of self-confidence, that was Parvati's primary worry; she didn't want her sons to think that she was trying to influence their relationship with Ernie. “But, you know…” she sighed, “I wouldn't mind having somebody else. After you've been married for so long, you know, to not have that… It makes you feel sort of lost, like maybe you're not good enough.”

@padma

[Deleted]

Padma was glad that whatever else was going on in Parvati’s head, she could still make her laugh. She rather wished she didn’t have to, but that wasn’t the primary issue at hand. She could, and as long as she could, she knew her sister would be okay.

“They’re sixteen; they’re old enough to understand the difference between trying to replace Ernie as their father, and trying to find some happiness for yourself.” At least, Padma hoped they were. But it was so hard to say she knew what her sister was going through, because she didn’t, not even remotely, and she didn’t even want to imagine it. “Of course you’re good enough. There’s just not all that many people our age who are single. That’s got nothing to do with you.”

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

“They're sixteen,” Padma was quick to remind Parvati about her sons, saying that they were old enough to understand that she wasn't trying to replace Ernie as their father; she just wanted to find happiness for herself.

If they didn't understand, Parvati thought, that was a bridge that she would cross whenever she actually found someone compatible with her—if she found someone compatible with her.

Her sister assured her, too, that she was good enough, but, given the relatively limited number of options… “That’s got nothing to do with you.”

Still, Parvati thought, it meant that all of those other people who had significant others must have been doing something right. She didn't have much time to dwell on it, though, before a voice from the side of the High Table called her over.

Excusing herself, Parvati glanced apologetically at her twin. “Sorry,” she said quickly, standing from the table and going over to see for what reason she was needed. There must have been something else that had come up in regards to the First Task, and she was somewhat glad not to be discussing her love life.

@padma

[Deleted]

Padma shook her head reassuringly at her sister as she was called away. "Go, don't worry about it." It was enough that they'd had a chance to talk, and responsibilities came first. She returned to her breakfast, knowing full well that she'd probably be called away herself any minute.

parvati patil macmillan

[andddd done!]