That's not how the force works ((Finn))

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It was November 18th, two days after Rai had come back. Poe and Finn had brought her to Saint Mungo's to stop the bleeding, but she was still there. She needed to learn how to control this thirst for blood and she wasn't ready to go out into the world and deal with that yet. In fact, other than Finn and Poe, she had refused to let anyone else see her. The thought of accidentally hurting sometime made her sick. To the point vomiting, even. There were even moments when she wouldn't let Finn in. Her parents had been informed of her attack, but they didn't know all the details yet. No one did except Finn, Poe, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger. And the healers, of course.

One of the nurses came in to tell her Finn was back, wondering if it was a time he needed to be sent away. Rai told her to go ahead and let him in, but her legs were folded up to her chest and she was staring at the window. The blinds were closed because they couldn't let any light in. She swallowed hard, trying not to get emotional at the thought.

@finn

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Finn made his way back to the Hospital Wing after being turned away earlier in the day. Rai was not allowed visitors, the Healer had said, because they weren’t sure she could control herself at the moment. The idea that his friend had become a predator whose natural instinct was to attack broke Finn’s heart. Rai was a bright and bubbly ball of sunshine, and now she wasn’t even allowed to be in direct sunlight for fear it would physically harm her. He could have no idea what she was going through; he had never met a vampire, though he’d met plenty of people who had the desire to become one, especially during his initial search for Rai. He’d never dealt with this before, and it’d be a learning process for both of them.

Finn knocked on the door and the Healer let him in, saying Rai was alright for visitors now. He made his way slowly into the room as to not shock her, and gave her a smile. “Hello Rai love,” he said, taking slow steps towards her bed. He stopped and held up his hands. “If you need me a certain distance away, just let me know,” he reassured her.


@railynn

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She smelled him before she saw him, as she was used to by now, and turned towarad him when he said hello. She gave im a small weak smile and shook her head, "I'm okay. You can come here," she said, nodding for him to come closer. She hated that she had to be checked on that now. Normally the two of them would just run and tackle each other or put their arm around the other and lead them off on some fun adventure. She didn't even know if she could have adventures now.

"Is he mad?" she asked, figuring he'd know who she was talking about. There was no doubt that Grey had some sort of reaction to her missing, of course, but he was probably angry that she was refusing to see him. What was Finn telling him, anyway? Her parents were coming later today, that was hard enough.

@finn

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Finn clucked his tongue and pulled Rai into a huge. "No Rai, he's not mad," he said quietly, knowing who she meant. Grey had come with him when he'd gone to question Uriah at Club Indigo, and he knew how worried his friend would be. He'd told him that Rai had returned of course, he wasn't so horrible to keep him in the dark. But Rai had pleaded not to tell him or anyone else about her new condition, and he'd kept that promise. "I just told him you were back and that I'd get him when you were ready for visitors, don't worry," he reassured her, patting her back lightly. He drew back, holding her at arms length. "How are you doing?" he asked her seriously.

@railynn

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Rai nodded as Finn answered her, but she didn't' feel the relief she thought she was going to feel. Maybe she wouldn't feel that until she saw him. She chewed on her lip as he went on to explain what he was telling Grey. She wasn't sure if she was ever going to be ready for anyone, but she didn't want to say that out loud. She hated even thinking it. Then Finn asked how she was doing and Rai shook her head, "I'll survive." She didn't know what that was supposed to mean and she swallowed hard, "I mean... I don't know," she felt the tears start to come back and she wondered if vampires ran out of tears at some point, because she was pretty sick of them by now. "I should have- just let him- kill me," she said between sobs that racked her entire body.

@finn

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Finn watched Rai as she spoke. He didn't know what was going to come for the future; Rai would be forever eighteen, ghostly pale with a pension for drinking blood over eating the disgustingly delicious food she has engorged on with Finn over the years. That was okay though; he had this feeling that Rai was still there inside and that they would work this out together - :she didn't have to be alone. So when she started sobbing, Finn pulled her close again, almost too tightly but he didn't care. She needed to know that he wasn't going anywhere. "Railynn Stughtattle you take that back. If you had died I don't kno if I could live with myself," he said,softly but firmly. He reached up and gently stroked her hair, hoping that would help calm her down.

@railynn

OOC: Finn is such bae <3

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Rai knew that Finn would say something like that but it didn't stop the tears from coming. She leaned forward, resting her forehead on his shoulder. Her hands found his biceps and she started to squeeze them, as if by doing so she could wring out all of her own tears. She couldn't answer him at first, the sobs practically choking her. "I never want to hurt you, Finn," she managed to get out, her hands clasping him tighter.

After another few minutes, she was finally able to look up at him, catching her breath even if it was unsteady. "But now I can more than ever. Now I could kill you," a look of horror crossed her face and another sob escaped. "Even right now, Finn. There's a part of me that," she took a hand from his arm and lifted it slowly until her fingertips were lightly tracing his jawline, "wants to. They said it'd make me feel better. Drinking the blood they're trying to give me but..." she dropped her hand and turned her face away. "I don't want to. I'd rather starve." Sure, the blood at the hospital was donated just for this but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Which, she was now realizing, was a bad idea considering how good her best friend smelled right now.

@finn

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Finn stood still, completely still as Rai talked to him about her newfound powers. When she told him she was starving herself, he shook his head and grabbed her by the arms. “Rai, don’t do that. You know that’s going to make you worse. It could even….” he hesitated. She was an emotional wreck right now and he didn’t want to make things worse. But sometimes, one had to be honest. “If you don’t drink the blood they give you, you make yourself more vulnerable to attack someone. They could be your friends, your family, and...me,” he told her. He noticed the hungry look in her eyes, so he stepped away and went over to the blood packs that were being stored in a small refrigerator. He took one out and held it out. “Drink. Otherwise, I will leave,” he instructed, feet planted firmly. He knew exactly where his wand was in his pocket in case Rai refused, or worse, if she sprang to attack him. He hoped it wouldn’t come down to that.

@railynn

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Finn seemed not at all phased by her touching his jaw and instead focused on the starvation issue. She glared at him as he stood to get the blood himself from the frige. "I didn't ask for help," she snapped, then she realized what she'd done and she swallowed hard, her features softening. She wasn't the type to snap at her best friend like that. She was just tired. And hungry. so hungry. "Okay," she said, lifting her hands to either said in a surrender pose. "I have to admit you have a point. The more I starve myself the more I want to suck you dry," yes, that was maybe a distasteful comment, but she tried to say it fact, hoping that they would be able to joke about this someday. "Or I could just die. Seems easier. But I stayed and..." she wasn't sure if she could explain why she had decided to do that. At least not out loud. She was having trouble admitting it herself.

@finn

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Finn raised an eyebrow and lifted the bag to her. “Drink,” he said simply, waiting for her to respond. “Or we could of course continue talking,” he said casually as she said she could just die. Obviously that wasn’t going to be happening on his watch; he had something up his sleeve should she choose to continue to be stubborn. Of course, he could also take her being stubborn as a show of her old self. “Want to talk about who ‘he’ was? The one you didn’t want me to tell what happened to you?” he asked, looking directly at her. Finn of course had a feeling he already knew who she was talking about, but he needed to hear her say it out loud.

@railynn

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Rai really didn't want to drink the blood in front of Finn but... they both needed to get used to it, didn't they? She took it from him and used the straw provided to sip it, not looking at him. She immediately felt better and she breathed a sigh of relief, leaning back into her pillow. She took the straw out of her lips for a moment, "guess I'll just pretend it's kool aid," she muttered in jest, but she didn't feel any of the humor she was trying for.

Then he asked about 'who he was' as she took another sip. She lowered the bag, reaching for the water beside her next to her and took a drink before speaking. "Please don't make me say it out loud," she said slowly, looing at him. "You're not stupid," she sounded... scared and worried, not at all harsh or mad.

@finn

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Finn did not look away as Rai finally relented and took a sip of the blood pack he had given her. This was his best friend, his constant, his stability. If she was a vampire now, then he had to get used to seeing her suck down pints of blood instead of water. “It actually looks like tomato juice,” he threw out there, chuckling a little. If he thought the blood was tomato juice, it was far easier to watch. “Just drinking all those Bloody Marys,” he said, wincing a little as the joke had a double meaning now.


Ah, so it was who he thought she was talking about. Finn at one point would have paraded the fact that he was right around, but he sensed that it wasn’t the right time or place to do that. “You need to say it out loud Rai,” he said quietly, urging her to speak the truth. He didn’t need to hear her say it out loud of course to know it was true, but he knew that if she admitted it outwardly instead of keeping it inside, she’d feel better in the long run. “You can’t keep running Rai,” he told her softly.

@railynn

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Tomato Juice? Rai shook her head, smirking a little. Of course he was trying to make this easier on both of them, and she was grateful for that. Then he made the 'joke' about Bloody Marys and she winced too. She moved the bag to read the label, "I don't think this one was named Mary..." she said, trying to keep her tone light. She looked back to him, "it was donated, though. So, that's nice." Her face scrunched up, "do me a favor and don't ever donate."

He told her she had to say it out loud, his voice severe. She wanted to look away, but couldn't. He told her to stop running and she shook her head and breathed in through her nose. She looked away from him, just for a minute to gather her thoughts, then turned back to him.

"Grey," her voice cracked.

@finn

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Finn laughed as Rai made a joke back. That had to be a good sign, or at least that was how it would take it. “Bloody Mary is a type of drink Muggles drink with brunch sometimes. I think it’s tomato juice, vodka and tabasco sauce,” he explained with a smile. The very few times he’d ever had brunch, just once with Emma in recent memory, he had gotten a mimosa after making sure it was okay if he drank in front of her. The Bloody Mary cocktail just didn’t sound all that appetizing to him.


His expression softened a bit as she finally said his name out loud. “Grey,” he repeated back to her. He had known for some time, as best friends often do. But he knew that even if she didn’t think so now, Rai would feel relieved to have spoken about this finally. “You are going to have to talk about it to him eventually, not just how you feel but, what you are now,” he told her. “It has to come from you. I don’t think he should hear it from me or anyone else,” he added, crossing his arms in front of him.

@railynn

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Rai shook her head and glared, "I know what a Bloody Mary is, Finn." IN a normal circumstance she would have chuckled, but it didn't come out of her mouth. The drink sounded disgusting, actually, so she was glad that it wasn't what was in the bag... not that the thought of drinking blood was any better. But, at least the blood tasted good.

Finn repeated Greys name then and she looked away from him again, back down at her hands. Rai didn't like to think that she was an emotional person, but she was. She didn't want to admit it, but that didn't mean her eyes didn't continue to mist over. Finn spoke of how she had to talk to him eventually. About how she felt and what she was. "He's going to hate me," she muttered softly, She didn't know where this irrational fear had come from, that Grey was going to hate her for allowing herself to change like this. It was completely illogical to think that way but, for some reason, his opinion really mattered to her. Finn was right, of course. She had to be the one to talk to him.

She looked back up at her best friend. "Or," she started, "I could just forget this whole 'deciding to live' thing. Wouldn't that just be easier on everyone?" she was being ridiculous, really. The world was pretty accustomed to vampires, there was no need to feel like this. But it was new, it was different and she loved the sun. She'd always loved the sun. And at that thought, her tears came back.

@finn