In the cookies of life siblings are the chocolate chips[Asa]

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They'd told her family. Lavinia knew they would, but it was hard having her parents come and see her. Her parents had always been supportive whenever she had a bad episode, but it always made her feel like she was letting them down in a way. She wanted to be their happy little girl. The one that everyone thought she was. And whenever she couldn't, she felt like she was disappointing them... Even though deep down she knew that wasn't true. She knew they'd never think that. But despite knowing that, she felt it. But more then her parents, she felt like she was disappointing Asa the most. Asa, who had so much on their plate already. The last thing she wanted was to make her older sibling worried. So when her parents had stopped by and told her Asa would be coming after they got of work she felt like she was doing exactly that.

Liv was curled up on her side on that same hospital bed as earlier, the curtains drawn shut. She didn't know how much Asa had been told. Or when they might show up. So, she picked at one of the seams on the bed, silently wasting away the hours as she waited for her older sibling...

@asa

||MAZE DIRECTION:RIGHT TURN #2||

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Asa didn’t get angry often. They prided themself on the fact that they kept a cool head no matter what the situation was. But when they got off of work, and they went back to their apartment to find an owl from their parents saying that Lavinia was in the hospital wing, they were furious. Not at Liv, never at Liv, of course, but at their parents. Asa had made it clear long ago that family came before work, every time. Liv wouldn’t have been in the hospital if it wasn’t serious, and making her wait just so Asa could get off of work was absolutely infuriating to them. They could have been called out hours ago! They had barely done anything near the end of their shift because there was simply nothing left to be done – everything that needed to be done had been done. They had had to take a solid two minutes to calm down, and even that made them a little angrier, because they shouldn’t have needed to waste that extra time when their sister needed them! Actually getting to the school had been a pain due to all of the restrictions put in place, but since Asa was a member of the Order, things were slightly expedited, and they got to the hospital wing not long after dinner. Finding Lavinia was easy, and Asa sat down at her bedside silently. “Hi, Liv.” They said quietly. As angry as they were, none of it was for their sister, and Asa didn’t want to make her feel even worse. “Want to talk?” That was always a good place to start.

@liv

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Lavinia closed her eyes when she felt the bed shift. She didn't need to hear her siblings voice to know it was Asa. She took a slow, deep breath, then opened her eyes again. Did she want to talk? She wasn't sure, to be honest. Because talking meant having to actually confront her feelings right now. And her feelings were the problem. They were what had landed her here in the first place. Because if she could control her emotions, she wouldn't be here right now. Maybe she'd be able to smile and really mean it if she could just have normal emotions. Like everyone else.

Taking another deep breath, Liv sat up and finally looked at her older sibling. Her amazing older sibling, that she didn't want to let down no matter what. But that was exactly what she was doing. Letting Asa down. "About what?" She mustered as a response.

@asa

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Asa heard the breath that Lavinia took, and they had to resist the urge to do the same thing. That was the sort of breath that people took before putting their armor on, before they had to go to war. As much as they hated the fact that a conversation could be that daunting for Liv, they knew that it was the depression talking. It wasn’t Asa’s fault that this was going to be hard any more than it was Liv’s that she was depressed in the first place. Lavinia sat up, and Asa offered their younger sister a smile. Liv asked what they were going to talk about, and Asa shrugged. “Anything you want.” Maybe with enough time, their conversation would turn to what was wrong. Maybe it wouldn’t, but even then, what did Asa have to lose? They offered their hand to Liv, unsure who it was more for – Asa, to assure themself that their sister was alright, or Liv, to have a caring hand to hold. Either way, Asa hoped that their sister would take their hand.

@liv

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Lavinia swallowed as she saw Asa's smile. She'd always loved her older siblings smile. It made her smile. Unfortunately today the corner of her lips didn't even twitch, but she was happy that her sibling had smiled. The offered hand was accepted without any hesitation, Liv closing both her hands immediately around Asa's. Her grip was tighter then she'd thought, almost as if she as desperate for something to ground her and her sibling's presence was exactly that. "I don't know." She answered after a moment. And she didn't. What was she supposed to talk about? Her mind was a jumbled mess and she could hardly make sense of her thoughts, let alone form a conversation. And yet..... The words were suddenly coming.

"I think I messed things up, and I don't know how. Or how I'm supposed to fix it."

@asa

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Asa hadn’t been sure that Liv would take their hand, but apparently that was that their sister had been waiting for, because she gripped on tightly, more tightly than Asa could ever remember being clung to. They made a soft, comforting noise in the back of their throat, stopping when Liv began to speak again. She didn’t know what she wanted to talk about, which was understandable, but Asa allowed a few moments of silence, just against something did come to Liv’s mind. Apparently that was a good choice, because more words came not long after. Asa bent their head down, brushing a soft kiss against Liv’s knuckles. “Mon ange, problems are not forever.” Asa paused, wondering if that was the best thing to say to their sister at that point. “And there are people who will help you fix them.” Like Asa.

@liv