Hold On To Me, Cause I'm A Little Unsteady ** (DAN)

[Deleted]

@daniel
<3

Nikolai read all the books. He read every single one. Page to page, front to back, and studied every photo. To say he was slightly traumatized was the smallest worry. He was actually concerned for Magdalena, and concerned for himself. How was he supposed to be there? Of course, Nikolai always wanted to be a healer. However, he did not want to deal with...childbirth. And the fact that they hadn't told anyone yet, had this secret just swarming around in his brain was making it more and more difficult on him. Nikolai was actually glad he wasn't talking to Irina or Dan right now just for this instance. He didn't want to blurt anything out, but then again, he kind of did.

He thought some fresh air may do him good, so he told Magdalena he'd go pick up some candy for her at Hogsmeade. Stepping out of the house, he shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and apparated into Hogsmeade. Nikolai's eyes widened as soon as he appeared there. A woman, with a very large stomach was standing right in front of him. He made a very nervous face, coughed awkwardly, held his hand up at her and walked away, shaking his head. Niko grabbed a quick coffee and continued walking, almost bumping into a woman with a child attached to her hip. Nikolai yelped, his eyes even wider. He skipped away, looking up at the sky, then around him. They were everywhere. Feeling like he was having a small panic attack, looking from woman to woman, he immediately made a buzzkill for the park nearby, planning to find the one bench he always sat on, away from the world of reproducing humans.

[Deleted]

Dan was just at another day in Hogsmeade. but he was on his own today. He told Irina that he needed to clear his head and try to figure out how to make things all right with Niko. He loved the guy and wanted nothing more than to make him happy again. To make them happy again. As fate would have it, Dan saw Niko up ahead, hurrying toward the park bench he always sat on.

Just upon looking at his best friend, Dan could feel all the emotions coming from him. Dan's eyes widened. What on earth would have Niko feeling so... what was that, panic? Either way, he was not doing okay and Dan's worry overcame any other thoughts as he moved to Niko. "Hey, are you okay?" Dan asked as soon as he was in earshot, but the flood of emotions that came just from that question caused Dan to stumble back.

What was going on?

@jill9

[Deleted]

@daniel
<3

Nikolai sat down on the bench, trying to catch his breath as he stared straight ahead of him. He wasn't sure what to do about this feeling. When he was with Magdalena, he was always so calm and so happy about the whole situation. But sitting here by himself, seeing those pregnant women, seeing small children, Nikolai was beginning to realize how real this was all becoming. That he was going to be a father. That he was going to have a small little life to take care of and watch over and to protect.

His breath caught in his throat, and his eyes shot quickly over to Dan. Niko's shocked face disappeared and he glared at Dan, and scooted to the edge of the bench away from him. A small flash of anger ran through him, but as Dan spoke, Nikolai swallowed nervously. This wasn't good. Him and Magdalena hadn't spoken about telling anyone, or who to tell or when. And here was Mr. Feelings, and Nikolai knew he wasn't going to be able to keep it from him. Not with the worry that was probably dripping off of his body. "No, I'm not okay."

||MAZE DIRECTION:LEFT TURN||[/p]

[Deleted]

Niks emotions were bad, and Dan felt equally horrible. He wanted everything to be okay, for Nik to be able to calm down. Something bigger then their stupid little fight was happening, though, and Dan knew that was way more important. Nik was worried, incredibly. Dan frowned, folding his hands in his lap. "If you're in trouble, tell me. We'll take care of it together like we always have," he took two slow deep breaths, attempting that calming thing he had tried with Nik another time... If there was anything he could do to help, he'd do it. Fighting wasn't worth it to Dan if something was really, seriously wrong. He loved Nik, and he tried to send that emotion across right now.

@jill9

[Deleted]

@daniel
<3

Nikolai scoffed at Dan's words. He hadn't meant for his reaction to sound rude, or angry, but more or less shocked. That wasn't going to happen. They couldn't fix everything like they used to, this wasn't something to be...fixed. It was something that was going to happen whether Nikolai, Magdalena, or any of their family members liked or not. Niko shut his eyes, feeling that familiar wash of calmness flowing around him, but it wasn't working very well and he wasn't allowing it in. Not for this. Nikolai didn't look at Dan, just shook his head. "We can't take care of this, Dan. We just can't..."

[Deleted]

Dan swallowed hard. Something serious was happening. "Cedric," it had been a long time since Dan had used the full middle name. It was saved for important moments, serious ones and loving ones. It was Dan's equivalent to taking Nik's hand or putting a hand his shoulder. "You can tell me what's going on. Together we can handle anything," he saved firmly.

@jill9
DANOLAI

[Deleted]

@daniel
<3

Cedric.

Nikolai felt his breath get caught in his throat. He felt the tears well up in his eyes. He felt the stress, the fear, oh the fear. What was he going to do? What was Magdalena going to do? Here he was. His best friend. Trying to help him, trying to figure out this mess that Niko just couldn't get out of.

His voice was quiet, a whisper. Niko slowly brought his eyes from the grass to his best friend.

"Magdalena's pregnant."

[Deleted]

Nik looked up at him and Dan caught his breath, sensing all that fear and he almost, almost knew what was coming before Nik said it.

Dan was frozen, at first, before taking in a long, deep breath through his nose. His eyes started to moisten and he nodded slowly. "Okay," he said firmly, "that's doable."

He wanted to reach out to Nik but didn't, knowing it probably wasn't best for either of them. "You're going to be a great dad. Or a really awful one," he cracked a smirk.

@jill9

[Deleted]

@daniel
<3

... Doable? Nikolai scrunched up his nose at Dan. What the heck was that supposed to mean? What was Niko supposed to do with a response like that? Had he not been so currently emotional and freaking out about all of the pregnant women and children around, he may have laughed.

Then his next comment brought out a small smile in Nikolai. "I'll go with terrible." Niko could hardly touch anyone still without panicking, how was a baby supposed to work?

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Dan shook nodded, folding his a arms. "Yup. I mean, at least you won't be as bad as I would be," Dan half joked, though he thought that might be true. He leaned forward slightly, his brow furrowing. "I'm serious, though. I know I have school and all but I'm going to be there as much I possibly can be. Have you told anyone else?" mainly Ri, but he also needed to know if he was supposed to keep this a secret for a while. He would do that. This wasn't his to share, it was Nik's and Magis. Magi. Dan's brow furrowed more, "how is she?"

@jill9

[Deleted]

@daniel
<3

Nikolai turned his eyes away from his best friend, not able to look at him anymore. "I don't think you'd be a bad father, Dan. At all. Maybe a bit too emotional, but not a bad father." Niko smiled slightly, a few tears falling. He glanced away so Dan couldn't see his face and shut his eyes, taking a deep breath and listening to the sounds around them. Dan's comment made him turn towards back at him, his brows furrowed. "Dan, this isn't your problem. You need to concentrate on school and getting your career together. This...this baby..."

His voice cracked slightly. "Magdalena and I need to take care of it. We haven't told anyone. I don't know when we're going to tell people. Probably...probably once she's in her second trimester so there's a better chance that she wouldn't lose the baby." Reading those books did a handful of things for him and he got quite a bit of information. "She's, well, she's okay now. The first night was terrible." A rush of emotions came back as he remembered; trying to help her, then arguing, not sleeping all night while she was upstairs.

[Deleted]

Dan hated that Nik turned away, but he understood why. It was hard for Dan to make eye contact with most people, so he couldn't blame the guy. His best friend spoke of how Dan would be a good father and Dan shook his head, but smiled slightly at the slight mention of his emotional problem. The funny thing was, Dan was usually the least emotional person you'd ever meet. He was apathetic and careless, trying not to get in touch wiht the emotions around him was easier. However, since Irina... well, he was learning that emotions weren't all bad. He felt his own eyes starting to get misty but he kept his eyes on Nik when the guy turned back toward him. Nik spoke about how it wasn't his problem and Dan shook his head, but he waited for Niko to finish.

He spoke about how he and Magi needed to take care of this, and how they didn't tell anyone yet because of the possibility of a miscarriage, which was wise. He said Magi was well, but that the first night was terrible. Those emotions that rushed into Nik at that point had Dan slightly leaning back, but not too much. He nodded, "I know you guys will get through this. But you need a support group. I call shotgun on leading that," he said with a small smile. Then, finally, he held a hand out to Niko in an offering for Nik to take it. He'd understand if he didn't, of course. "Everything's going to work out. Trust me."

@jill9

(I think we can end this soon)

[Deleted]

@daniel
<3

Nikolai was glad that Dan didn't reprimand him or cause an argument about it; he knew Dan would never just leave him and Magdalena to raise the baby, and he knew Dan would be a great Uncle. He'd be a great person for this baby to have around, and Nikolai knew that his son or daughter would love Daniel. And Nikolai appreciated everything that he would do for him and Magi, and he was sure Magi would too.

Niko looked up at Dan and smiled slightly. "You can have shotgun, you've always been first for everything, Daniel." He took a deep breath, and glanced down at Dan's hand. Slowly, Nikolai moved his own hand, staring at Dan's. He knew Daniel would never hurt him but there was always a caution he had that he had to get rid of, especially with a baby coming. Nikolai finally grabbed it, and smiled again. "I hope so Dan. I really do."

[Deleted]

Dan shook his head as Nik said he was always first for everything but didn't say anything to that. Then, Nik was taking Dan's hand and Dan let out a deep breath, smiling back at his best friend. "As long as we stick together," he said. Sure, sure this all sounded incredibly cheesy and nerdy, but Dan didn't care. He loved Nikolai, and whatever their past problems, he was ready to move on. He was ready to move forward as a team, as friends, as family. Daniel was planning on getting to know Magi better eventually as well, but there was time for that. There was plenty of time.

@jill9
(the end?)