Birds of a Feather [Fred]

[Deleted]

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Fred,

Definitely not straight.

Roxy

@fred

[Deleted]

roxy,

There's definitely a story to be told here. Don't be a tease, little sister. Tell your big brother everything.

fred

@roxanne

[Deleted]

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Fred,

Okay, okay, if you insist.

I have a crush on someone who isn’t a guy? They’re from Durmstrang and they’re nice and we danced at Lily’s latest Room of Requirement party and I like them and I think they like me? There was lots of blushing.

This is hard. Your turn to spill your soul big brother, I can’t do this alone.

Love ya,      
Roxy      

@fred

[Deleted]

roxy,

I guess that would be one way to figure out you're not straight. I'm glad that there's hope for your romantic future - if they have any sort of brains they'll realize that you're a catch. A smelly, bossy catch who chews too much gum, but a catch nonetheless.

Well, the boy I like is also from Durmstrang. Elias Greyback. The last time we talked he said he liked a girl, though, so I think I'm a no-go there.

fred

@roxanne

[Deleted]

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Fred,

It’s a pretty effective way, that’s for sure. I’m not sure what I am exactly, but I might just set all the boxes on fire and be done with it.

Thanks for your vote of confidence, oh brother of mine. I like gum. It’s stress-relieving. And GLOWS IN THE DARK. (Thanks for the restock.)

Oh, I’ve seen him. I mean, everyone has because he’s the Champion and all. The fact that he likes a girl doesn’t necessarily mean anything about your chances, silly. Bisexual and pansexual are things. Anyway he’s a fool if he doesn’t think you’re great. Because you are, even if you do call your favourite sister smelly and work too much.

Love, your favourite sister,

Roxy

@fred

[Deleted]

roxy,

Setting boxes on fire? I’m assuming that’s a metaphor that I’m not going to be able to understand without some backstory, because I didn’t really picture you as a pyromaniac. That’s more my style. Not even, though. Maybe Dad’s style, back in his heyday.

I’m glad you’re not super stressed. And you’re welcome for the restock, even if it wasn’t really a choice.

Maybe you’re going to need to teach your poor brother what some of these things mean. All I know is I’m gay as the day is long. As for Elias, eh. I’m not as great as you seem to think, because I’m not going to revoke the smelly comment, if that’s what you were going for. And if you like your gum so much, you should appreciate that I work so I can buy it for you!

fred

@roxanne

[Deleted]

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Fred,

Fine, backstory. Don’t say I don’t love you.

I was talking to Viola about labels and the GSA meeting and stuff, and they mentioned setting all the boxes on fire. As in, labels are dumb and who needs them, not us because we can’t even figure out what the right label is. But it could be kind of fun to set them on fire literally. Apparently you’d get expelled for that at Durmstrang, so now I kind of want to just because I can. Hogwarts is awesome.

Bisexual is liking both boys and girls, whichever you are. And pansexual is when you like everyone, whatever gender they are. I think, at least, the books weren’t super clear on the difference. It’s kinda confusing, but the point is for a lot of people it’s not black and white. So just because you know he likes girls - or maybe he’s pretending because he’s in the closet? Durmstrang seems like it might do that to a person - doesn’t mean he doesn’t like boys. I mean, I don’t know if that’s the case, but… it’s possible. So don’t count it out just yet.

Fine, be like that. Don’t revoke your cruel comments to your delightful sister who cheers you on and teaches you about sexuality labels and stuff the wide spectrum of human sexuality the sexuality spectrum.

That is literally the least weird and or creepy sounding way I can think of to say that. Ugh. You know what I mean.

Love you,
Roxy

@fred

[Deleted]

roxy,

If you want to set literal boxes on fire, could you maybe not do it at school? I like setting things on fire too, you know, and I think it could make a great sibling bonding experience. Because we’re not already close enough already. Also, I just don’t get to do that sort of thing anymore, since Dad would probably throw a fit if anyone tried to burn down his store. I mean, any sane person would, but it would be fun to start a fire without worrying about being charged for arson.

I will…keep that in mind. Maybe I should stop being stupid and, you know, ask him? I didn’t think that was really my style but I’m not into the whole pining thing, either. If I know then I can do something about it, or I can move on. Not knowing is what’s hurting me more, I think.

I taught you how to poop and make puppy eyes, so I think I win on the whole ‘teaching each other useful life skills’ thing. Just saying.

I do know what you mean.

fred

@roxanne

[Deleted]

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Fred,

It could be a great sibling bonding experience, but then I wouldn’t get to prove the superiority of Hogwarts. You could come visit? And bring boxes. I don’t have any.

Asking seems smart. I don’t know how to do that though, my expert sisterly advice stops there.

Well, if we’re talking about life favours, can I add one to my list? Ondina has been dosing one of my classmates with love potions for like… three weeks, and we gave him an antidote and he’s fine, but… could you cut her off? Send her something else? I mean, I’m assuming she’s getting it from the shop because she’s not that good at potions. But like… if she stopped getting more, that’d be good. I feel awful for him.

Roxy

@fred

[Deleted]

roxy,

You’re in luck, because I don’t mind visiting Hogwarts, and our dear father has kindly supplied me with some shipping boxes. I didn’t tell him that we were going to burn them, though, so keep that on the hush-hush. Will the person you like be there for the box burning?

I kind of asked him. Well, not really. But that’s a story for a different letter.

That’s…doable. I don’t know if I’m supposed to report this to anyone or anything, but I’m going to assume that keeping this as off the records as possible is a part of the favor that you’re asking. If you needed an antidote, you could have asked me, you know. I know the formula, and that would have made it a lot easier to brew the antidote.

fred

@roxanne

[Deleted]

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Fred,

You’re the best. When’ll you come then? And I’ll ask them. I think they’d like it, so probably.

It’ll be a different letter, TELL.

Yeah, I don’t want to get you in trouble. Thanks. But she’s our cousin so I feel like we’ve gotta do something, you know? And giving a bad name to the shop if word gets out, so best if it doesn’t. I would have asked about the antidote, but by the time I found out, they already had made some.

Love you,

Roxy

@fred

[Deleted]

roxy,

Does the day before Christmas Eve work? I know it’s a little late, but we’ve been busy with the holiday rush and I don’t know if I’ll have time off before then. And I can deliver your Christmas present then, too.

Maybe I shouldn’t tell you… This letter doesn’t feel quite right. Try again next time.

I understand totally, Roxy. If I can get Dad alone sometime I’ll talk to him about tracking love potion orders more closely to make sure people can’t get enough to dose someone that consistently.

fred

@roxanne

[Deleted]

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Fred,

That works! I mean, if it’d be easier for you to get time off after Christmas, that’s fine too - but it’s Boxing Day and stuff, so maybe it wouldn’t be. I don’t even mind if that means waiting for Christmas presents.

You can tell me in person, then.

I don’t like that there are love potions at all, but yeah, that’d be good.

Love you,

Roxy

@fred

[Deleted]

roxy,

Today’s the day, little sister! It probably would have been easier to wait until after Christmas, but oh well. I got time off before, so that’s that!

Come downstairs.

fred

@roxanne