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last online Apr 26, 2024 1:21:52 GMT -7
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May 8, 2017 18:51:10 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 8, 2017 18:51:10 GMT -7
dear stranger,
In the sake of total transparency, I’m a little shocked, too. My name does start with a J. Why don’t you go ahead and just say it? That way we both know you know for certain. I’m sad that you can’t tell me your second reaction, though, because I imagine it’s a lot less predictable than shock. Perhaps it’s something to do with the fact that we’ve already met each other, and your reaction is tied to that? Am I getting warmer, maybe? Stare all that you want – just know that I’ll be looking for you, too, now that you know who I am, and I won’t even feel the slightest bit guilty about it. And even better, since you know I’m looking and don’t want to be found, as soon as we make eye contact, you’ll look away, which means that I’ll be able to tell easily who you are. Either that, or I’m being too confident about my psychoanalysis of you…which could bring its own set of problems. To be fair, the mystery has been going for quite some time. Two weeks is a long time to keep an identity secret, especially when you secretly want to be found out (and the school is as small as ours).
If you’re looking for my blush, know that I am blushing profusely right now. As I’ve said, I’m going to try to be as attentive as possible in the Great Hall, but it can be difficult to be attentive when you’re excited about the piece of mail that you’re reading. It’s like the entire world fades away, until it’s just you and the parchment in front of you, you know?
Ah, yes. My cousin is a bit of a strange little duckling, but I think that’s part of the reason she’s starting to grow on me. I suppose now that you know who I am I can wear it…but it will be rather difficult for me to explain to everyone that I don’t know where I got it from, nor from whom. I don’t mind explaining that I don’t know where I got the gift. I think my friends are all rather used to me falling for people are a little bit out of the ordinary. My last romantic partner was in line for the throne of England, you know.
Somehow I don’t doubt your ability to gaze longingly at me. Like the sun, though, never fully looking at me. That is quite some dedication to a metaphor. I appreciate dedication. I do want to wait until graduation…just to see if I can. Then again, I kissed my last girlfriend for the first time at her graduation, so perhaps that draws parallels I don’t want in my head. We can discuss it more, perhaps in person when I have figured out who you are, too.
My birthday is the eighteenth of June. I won’t go looking in the student registry for you, I promise. love, me P.S. I will be sure to pass on the message. And I'm also sure he'll be an excellent teacher. He used to be a Hufflepuff, so he's patient enough to deal with the likes of me.
@lionaanna
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last online Apr 26, 2024 1:21:52 GMT -7
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May 10, 2017 2:50:22 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 10, 2017 2:50:22 GMT -7
Dear Sunshine (@jamie ),
See. I know who you are. I said it in the other letter you received this morning. Jamie, Jamie, Jamie. Jamie Greyback. Hufflepuff. Seventh Year. Cute blonde. Of course I can't remember everything I've said in previous letters but I feel like I've definitely given you a few clues at the very least to who I am. But I don't want to give too many and make it easy for you to figure out who I am. I won't confirm or deny your comment regarding the possibility that we've met before. Just know that when you find out who I am you may have the same chain of reactions. Just you saying that, that you'll be looking out for someone looking at you, means that I definitely won't be able to look at you as much as I want, though it will be very difficult. I do think you may be over psychoanalyzing what my reaction will be if you do catch me staring at you. The sooner you find out who I am, the sooner the possibility that we may meet after the fact. For one reason or another. I may give you a small hint here or there. Ask me questions to try and figure things out and if they aren't too easy I'll answer freely. I've said before but being on this side is really fun. Now you're chasing me. It's exciting and I think I like it best because I want you to chase me. I want to be found by you.
I watched you receive my letter yesterday and I hoped you'd blush. I can't wait until I'm able to see you blush up close. When I read your letters the world does fade away and it's just you and me.
The throne. Hmm. I don't think I knew that, though you did say that relationship was short, correct? I'm assuming you mean you dated one of the Windsors? They are the only muggle royalty I know. How interesting. I'm in a bit of a conflict. I would really like to remain a mystery to you for as long as possible. I also really wish for you to figure out who I am, for many many reasons one being that I want to buy myself one of those bracelets. It's a really cute bracelet and I'm sad that I don't have one for myself. If anyone asks where you got it from, you can just say that it was a gift. Or I can guess it may not be that simple with who your friends are.
I fear that I must remain dedicated to the metaphor now that you are more actively trying to figure out who I am. As for that second part... my thoughts will remain my own once again on that. Until we meet anyway. Maybe when you find out who I am, it will become harder for you to stay away from me? I think it will become harder. It's harder for me now that I know who you are and once you find out who I am it will get even harder.
June fourteenth. How funny I didn't expect them to be so close. Maybe in the summer we can celebrate together?
Sincerely,
105 .
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last online Apr 26, 2024 1:21:52 GMT -7
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May 11, 2017 11:55:57 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 11, 2017 11:55:57 GMT -7
dear stranger,
Like I said in my other letter, that is definitely me. And it’s not any less weird to see my name written down a second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth time. I agree that I’m blonde, but cute? I’m not cute. I’m a vicious werewolf. Grr. Maybe I’ll comb back through the other letters at some point… Part of it is that I’m becoming more and more consumed with writing out current letters, and I don’t have much free time to speak of. I’d rather spend it writing to you than reading the letters I’ve already written and responded to. I’m going to assume that we have already met in person, and that is how you’re sure that I’m going to have the same chain of emotions as you did. We had some sort of mutual emotion, I assume – maybe we both already met and like each other? I’m curious, but I still need more information to start making any guesses. I’ve tried not to look too much to make sure that you can stare in peace. Okay, here’s a question derived from your comment: are we in a club together (or multiple)? And if so, can you tell me which one(s), or is that giving too much away? Being the chaser is much more exhausting than being the chased, if you didn’t already know that. I like it, in a different way, though it also worries me. What if I’m not a good enough hunter, and I never get to catch my prey? I suppose the fact that you want to get caught does make it marginally easier.
Blushing is a common response I have to a lot of things. I sometimes blush when I’m angry, because I’m embarrassed by my anger and what that says about me (and the fact that a lot of people extrapolate and make my anger a werewolf thing rather than a natural emotion to have occasionally).
Yes, the relationship was very short. I dated Will, the oldest Windsor. We met at the Yule Ball and we dated for the first few weeks of January before the royal life called him back into the fold and made him unwilling to continue the relationship. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us if it always had to come second to something else, and while I gladly would have waited for him, I’m not sure that’s what he would have wanted from me. I still care about Will immensely, just to be honest with you. But I care about you, too, so I’m sure if it ever becomes an issue, we’ll be able to figure it out. It is a cute bracelet. And I will say that it’s a gift, but my friends are nosy, and would want to know who would send me jewelry.
Like I said, I admire dedication. I do anticipate that once I find out who you are, it will be hard to stay away, but the whole air of mystery about this is so interesting, and I fear that taking it away will take away some of the enjoyment, too. It doesn’t seem to have ruined anything for you, though, so maybe it’ll be the same for me?
Celebrating together would be nice. My sister’s birthday is the twentieth, so I will be doing a lot of celebrating that week, I suppose. What kind of cake do you like? love, me @lionaanna
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last online Apr 26, 2024 1:21:52 GMT -7
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May 12, 2017 11:15:27 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 12, 2017 11:15:27 GMT -7
Dear Vicious Werewolf? (@jamie),
I think your words in your last letter are the very definition of cute. You're cute. You being a werewolf and you being cute are definitely not mutually exclusive. The amount of free time I have is becoming smaller and smaller by the day. I'm being consumed by studying for regular class and studying for N.E.W.T.s and to think that it is only February. We still have months before we actually sit for them. I know it will be a bit more nerve wracking than O.W.Ls considering these really affect the rest of our lives. Now that I know who you are, and from your letters, I know you have plans on becoming a quidditch star. I honestly haven't attended many quidditch games since I've been here at Hogwarts but I think I may start. I have to see how good you are for myself. I will not tell you which one or ones but yes we are in at least one club together. Trust me when I say that even if you don't find me, I will approach you. If you ask. I'd prefer you find me but if you ask it of me, after you've given considerable effort, and you want me to reveal myself. I will. It will make me want to ignore all of the previous things I've said about not revealing myself. Because you asked it of me, I'll reveal myself to you. Only once you've tried to find me. I'm trying to figure out how serious I am about what I just wrote. No. I think I really mean it. If you wish it. Wow. I'm a bit hesitant for you to ask though. I think I've just made myself nervous.
I'd much rather you blush for other reasons. Such as me surprising you with a kiss I'd still find you cute even if you were blushing in anger. My true blush is a rare sight. Though I think you could change that easily because I find myself blushing at times when I read your words. Everyone gets angry I'm sure why people would equate that to you being a werewolf.
That's really romantic. Once again my earlier comments were wrong. He must have meant-- or he must mean a lot to you. In haven't had many relationships. I've had crushes but it wasn't long after that they proved they weren't right for me for one reason or another. As I'd said before, I used to look for relationships but as the years have passed I'm much more comfortable with being single rather than being stuck with someone who isn't right for me. You're friends with Lily Potter so there is no possible way it would stay secret for long.
It is interesting. And fun if I do say so as the one who is still shrouded in mystery. I wonder if it will take away your enjoyment. If it does, will you stop sending me letters? If you stop sending me letters then we won't be in contact because I don't think you'll approach me before your graduation deadline if you lose interest in our letters.
German Chocolate Cake. Yours?
Sincerely,
104 .
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last online Apr 26, 2024 1:21:52 GMT -7
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May 12, 2017 20:13:21 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 12, 2017 20:13:21 GMT -7
dear stranger,
Some people think they are. Mutually exclusive, I mean. I think that studying for N.E.W.T.s is eventually what’s going to lead to be having a nervous breakdown. I push myself hard in everything, including keeping an active social life, so trying to juggle everything while continuing to up the amount of time I’m studying is going to be the end of me, or at least come close. I don’t plan on becoming a Quidditch star – I want to become a Quidditch player. It’s not really my choice whether or not I become a star. If you do attend a Quidditch game, I’d love to hear what you have to say about it. You being in a club but not attending Quidditch games means you’re either in the Potions Club or the GSA…I’ll have to see if I can use that to help figure out your identity. Please, do approach me. I want to see you, even if I don’t know it’s you. I don’t want you to reveal yourself, though – I want to see if I can figure you out first.
Now it is my turn to read through your crossing out, and I will just say this: I would not mind you doing what your proposed, and it would definitely have the intended results. Maybe when we meet in person I’ll have to see if I can make that one of my goals. As for my anger – I think sometimes it’s easier for people to attribute it to something they can’t control (that is, my lycanthropy) than something they can (that is, their actions that may have angered me in the first place).
I’m really a romantic at heart, even though I do a better job of hiding it than most, so having such a magical way of meeting…Was really nice. This is romantic in a different way, don’t you think? As for Will meaning a lot to me…I sometimes wish that he didn’t, because then it would be easier to deal with him being gone, I think. I don’t think that being in a relationship necessarily means being stuck. I’ve learned something from each of the relationships I’ve been in, so even if they weren’t right for me (and I still wonder if that was the reason for us being apart, or just poor timing) I got something out of it. And being in a relationship and then ending it isn’t bad or shameful or whatever other silly ideas you might have about them. As for Lily, she can be…different than what you see. She helped me through a really tough time, and while a lot of her personality is being crazy and loud, there’s more to it, too.
I really don’t think that it will take away my enjoyment, but it’s something that I’ve considered, just in case. I don’t us ever to fall out of touch, so I will keep writing you letters, especially since you say it hasn’t lost any of the shine for you. I like to make people happy, and if I can make you happy by sending a letter I’ll do it.
I like funfetti. Specifically, I like the little rainbow sprinkles inside. love, me @lionaanna
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last online Apr 26, 2024 1:21:52 GMT -7
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May 13, 2017 10:47:04 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 13, 2017 10:47:04 GMT -7
Dear True Hufflepuff (@jamie ),
Make sure you're taking breaks regularly so that doesn't happen. I think you know that though so I guess you don't need to hear it from me. Just make sure you're taking care of yourself so that doesn't happen, you having a nervous breakdown. I have a very strong feeling that you're going to have no problem becoming a Quidditch star, if you say you have no control over it. The crowds will adore you and if you play as well as I think you do then I'm sure you'll have plenty of fans to vouch for your star power and quality. What team do you wish to play for the most? If you had a choice? My not attending quidditch games has nothing to do with me being in either of those clubs. I never really had an interest in Quidditch before now. It just hadn't captured me like it does most people. But I won't confirm or deny your club choices either as I'm in a few clubs. I'll approach you. I won't tell you when, of course but I will approach you but I'll just have to make sure not to do or say anything so you won't figure out that I'm your letter writer.
You learn well. See, if I cross something out, it's to purposefully draw attention to it. I take my time writing my letters just to make sure I don't write anything too obviously me or something I don't want to share just yet. Would you 'not mind' me kissing you or would you want me to kiss you? There is a difference in that sentence. Just drawing attention to it. I have zero doubt that you'll succeed in that goal, getting me to blush. Once again I believe it to be one of those special qualities you have. That's a trait of idiots, looking for blame elsewhere when the blame lies within.
Coming to care for someone without meeting them though still learning them is very romantic and yes I do agree that it is romantic in a different way than the way you write of. But meeting someone a fateful night and falling in love in the span of a night... that's very beautiful. I think I may be slightly jealous. I'm not sure if it's of him or of you. Him because he got to experience you and be near you and dance with you. He was able to have your attentions as himself. You because you've had such an experience. See it is exactly as I've stated. When you love someone, you love them forever. I'm sure you always return to that night in your head, the night of the Yule Ball and think of how you felt then. Yes I think I am definitely more than a little jealous of him.
I do hope you keep writing me though I must say that I don't want you to keep writing me because it's making me happy. I want you to write me because you want to write me. Because it makes you happy. I want you to want to write me. If your enjoyment ever does wane, just tell me. We could end our letters, go our separate ways and this can be a fond memory. Just to clarify, this isn't something I wish to happen. If I could help it, I'd want your interest to... well. Just know that you no longer finding joy in it would lead to me no longer enjoy it.
I haven't had a funfetti cake in a while. It was always too sweet, even when I was younger. The rainbow sprinkles were pretty though. What was your most memorable birthday?
Sincerely,
103 .
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last online Apr 26, 2024 1:21:52 GMT -7
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May 14, 2017 16:59:24 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 14, 2017 16:59:24 GMT -7
dear stranger,
I’ve been trying to take breaks, but it seems they’re always foiled by one thing or another. I am definitely not intending to have a nervous breakdown, so I’ll stop myself from having one if it’s at all possible for me. How do you know the crowds will adore me? I think there is a very, very low chance that you’re a clairvoyant, because the ones I know in this school are either taken or not interested in girls, so you can’t actually see the future. And I’m a little different in crowds than I am one-on-one (as most people are). I want to play for the Holyhead Harpies. They’ve been my heroes since I learned how to play Quidditch, so it would be really cool to get to be one of them, and inspire more little girls to play Quidditch. Despite your protests, I still think that you’re a member of the GSA, so… keep that in mind if you choose to approach me.
You are obviously a much better writer than me, then, because I just dash out everything that I’m thinking. The quicker I send a letter, the quicker I can get a response, after all. I would want you to kiss me, but writing that down seems rather desperate, so ‘I wouldn’t mind’ sounded a little better. Not that I thought that consciously, but once you pointed it out, my subconscious decided to share its reasoning with my conscious mind. I’m glad that I will succeed – I’m much less likely to take ventures if my success is not guaranteed, so it’ll be much easier for me to try, knowing I won’t fail.
I’m sorry that you’re jealous, but I hope that you appreciate the truth. I don’t want to hide things for you, and if Will were to ever learn of this conversation, I wouldn’t want him to think that I was ashamed of them. When you love someone, you give them a piece of yourself and receive a piece of them in return, which is…an interesting thought. Do you ever wonder how many people in the world are wandering around with piece of you inside of them? Because I just started wondering, and I’m a little worried of the answer. Honestly, I think Will would be jealous of you, too. You don’t have anything to keep you from being with me. That sounds horribly narcissistic, but like I said, I like to believe that if circumstances were different, we would still be together.
Can’t I write you for both reasons? Because it makes you happy and just because I want to write you? I’m sure that if my enjoyment was going to take a nosedive, it would have done so by now. I don’t like the idea of having to let go of another person I care about. Two in as many months would be unbearable, and probably change my perception of the idea of love. One failed romance in one month is to be expected, but two in two months? That makes me doubt that I ought to be in a relationship at all.
No such thing as too sweet when it comes to cake, I say. My most memorable birthday was probably my last one. I was coming of age, which is obviously a pretty big deal, but my sister and I decided to have a joint birthday party, which was also really fun. All of our friends and family were there and it was just a really cool experience, since it was the first birthday we got to spend together and we were surrounded by the people that we loved. What about you? Any particularly memorable birthdays? love, me @lionaanna
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last online Apr 26, 2024 1:21:52 GMT -7
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May 17, 2017 5:17:24 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 17, 2017 5:17:24 GMT -7
Dear Just Sweet Enough (@jamie),
What's foiled your breaks? I can't imagine anything important enough that would keep me from relaxing after a long period of studying. Alas, you are correct. I am not a clairvoyant though sometimes I wish I was. I think it would be interesting to natural be able to see the future. From what I know that most clairvoyants have no way of controlling what they see or when they see it so that would be rather annoying. I wouldn't want to space out and see the future in the middle of doing something important. Your friends that are clairvoyants, how do they feel about being one? I do not need to be clairvoyant, however, to know that crowds will love you. This is just something I have a feeling about and my intuition has rarely ever lead me astray. Your mission is admirable. The Holyhead Harpies will be lucky to have you. I'll definitely keep that in mind when I approach you. I'm not worried about you finding me out just yet. Keep me updated on what you do figure out though.
I can't say if I'm a better writer or not. I write relatively quickly but to make sure that I'm not writing anything that will give you clues about who I am I usually read my letters over and rewrite them if I need to. I try to write as quickly as possible to get the letter sent quickly. As you said, the quicker I respond the faster I get your letter. I have to make sure that I'm not putting any nails in my own coffin. If you r subconscious thinks that sounds desperate, I can only imagine what your subconscious thinks of me with all I have said. I like knowing that. That you'd want me to kiss you.
I do appreciate your honesty. I don't understand why he'd think you were ashamed of him had you not mentioned him. That would be an odd way to look at things considering most people who are seeing each other don't go into many details of their previous relationships unless they are asked. How about one sided loves? If you love someone but they don't love you or they don't know that you love them, is there still an exchange? Do you just give someone a piece of yourself without getting a piece of them in return? It is an interesting thought. I've never thought about it. I have not had very many relationships where I can say I loved them and they loved me. There aren't many people who will have a piece of me and I don't have many pieces of people. I do have something keeping me from being with you. A few things actually. My hidden identity and 102 days. I can assume it is not equivalent to what kept him but there are those things. I can also assume that if those circumstances were to disappear, he'd be at your doorstep with flowers and an open heart.
Of course you can write be for both reasons.I just meant that I would rather you take enjoyment from it as well. Your enjoyment may not take a nosedive. It could be gradual. Your letters could get shorter, it could become a pain to write them. When the owl approaches and you go through your mail, seeing my letter won't inspire the same excitement it once had. It is a definite possibility. Again, not one that I wish but possible. I do hope that even were that to happen your faith in love would not disappear. As I said, I've had many crushes and courtships only for them my interest in them to disappear quickly. My faith holds without issue. I know I will find someone for me.
It sounds like you had a lot of fun. It's difficult to keep revealing details out, but when I was younger I celebrated with my parents and my brother with a huge cake. My mother thought it was a good idea to buy a huge cake though there were only four of us and there was no way we would be able to finish it. She was right, I loved the cake. It was three tiers of German chocolate cake. I tried to eat as much of it as I could, which wasn't actually very much. My father scolded my later because I got sick but my mother was the reason I'd gotten to eat so much. I wasn't happy being sick but being able to celebrate as a family, just the four of us, I was really happy.
Sincerely,
Possibly In GSA .
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last online Apr 26, 2024 1:21:52 GMT -7
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May 27, 2017 18:59:05 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 27, 2017 18:59:05 GMT -7
dear stranger,
Emotions. Emotions always foil my breaks. You know how hard it is to feel relaxed when you’re crying over something? Very hard. And being angry is even worse, because anger is more of a choice, in my opinion, than sadness. But yeah, feeling things, while excellent, is sometimes a bit of a detriment because it doesn’t allow for a lot of mental rest, especially when you’re a very emotional person like (I’m sure you’ve gathered) I am. I figured that you weren’t a clairvoyant, though I’m glad to hear it confirmed. A few more people to add to my list of ‘definitely not’ (though most were on ‘probably not’ anyways). I wouldn’t wish to be clairvoyant – it seems to add a lot of hardship to live. I’m pretty sure that it’s impossible to be a clairvoyant werewolf anyways. Imagine getting visions at the full moon, while in werewolf form! That would be Bad (with the capital B and everything). Well, my one clairvoyant friend, Hugo Weasley, seems to have made peace with the fact he’s clairvoyant. He had some wonderful things to say about the future when I talked to him – basically that, while we can change our futures, we never know what we do that causes that change, so trying to change them at all is a little nonsensical. My other clairvoyant friend, Irina Krum, only realized she was clairvoyant recently, so I haven’t been able to talk to her about it. My little sister’s best friend, Georgiana Linley, is also a clairvoyant, but again, I don’t know much about how she feels about it, though hers is different because it’s triggered by water, so she can kind of control her visions if she avoids liquids.
I hope that your intuition proves correct, but I suppose we won’t know until I actually get out in front of a real crowd. Like I tell everyone, I’m not sure I’ll get onto the Harpies – it’s just a nice goal to have in mind. I don’t think I’ll believe they want me until I’ve signed the contract.
Now that you know who I am, I can spend markedly less time rereading my letters, since I won’t have to scrub out any such clues. It’s funny how we’re trying to be so speedy, when we could say just as much in an hour-long in-person conversation… oh, the sacrifices we make for the sake of mystery and intrigue! As you can probably tell, the more time passes the more I long to know who you are, though, like I’ve said, I also don’t want to know. It’s exhausting to constantly be arguing with myself about whether or not I want to know your identity, if that persuades you one way or another. I don’t think that my subconscious could say anything negative about you without my conscious beating it to a pulp.
Some people associate not telling everything with secrecy, and secrecy with shame. The conversation warranted a discussion about our past love lives, so I discussed it – though entirely within the context of the conversation. Personally, I would be a little upset if I knew that he was purposefully not telling people about me and the topic at hand would make it natural for him to discuss me. Maybe I’m just a bit sensitive about it since the relationship was like flash paper – fast and hot but ultimately transient. People don’t seem to give enough credit to relationships like that, so flaunting it is my way of combatting the stereotype that relationships like that don’t matter.
I do think that one-sided loves do still take a big part of you – maybe even a bigger part than reciprocated ones. I don’t know if you’d get anything in return. Part of that is due to the fact that sometimes one-sided love is never even revealed. For all either of us know, half the school has had crushes on us at some point. We just don’t know. So how could we give a bit of ourselves to those people, when we don’t even know they exist, let alone that they want a piece of us to have?
I like to think that he would come back. Just like I like to think that if I asked, you too would be on my doorstep tomorrow, hidden identity be damned.
Let’s not talk any more about either of us leaving interest. It makes me feel sad, and I’d rather believe that we’re the people meant for each other unless something proves that theory definitively wrong.
I know you probably didn’t mean to give away a lot of information with what you said, but you’ve given me quite a bit. You have a brother, but not a twin brother, and your family is well-off since you could afford a frivolity like a three-tiered birthday cake. You’re definitely pureblood, and your father is a little strict – it’s likely that you’re not one of the lower tier purebloods. Everyone would recognize your surname and know it to be pureblood. Interesting, interesting… love, me @lionaanna
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last online Apr 26, 2024 1:21:52 GMT -7
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Jun 2, 2017 3:52:08 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2017 3:52:08 GMT -7
Dear Future Holyhead Harpy (@jamie ),
Oh my. That is a lot of emotion to go through. What is it that'd made you cry? Made you angry? That is, if you don't mind me asking? Yes, I could tell that you're an emotional person. It comes through well in your letters. That is somewhere I can admit we differ, if you couldn't tell. I'm more controlled when it comes to my emotions and they don't show often, as I've told you. I'd rather talk or think through how I feel rather than emote and work through whatever havoc my emotions have wreaked. For a talent so rare it seems you are surrounded by many who have that gift. Two of those three people you mentioned are names I recognize, of course, but I did not know they were clairvoyant because I do not interact with either of them regularly. I am rather curious about how the both of them possess such an ability. Triggered by water? That is a very interesting way to have visions triggered. Why do you not believe it possible for werewolves to be clairvoyant? While even rarer than the gift itself I feel as though there may have been one or two clairvoyant werewolves in history. Maybe those who manifested the ability before they were werewolves? Or is it possible that the clairvoyant would see the possibility that they'd become a werewolf and try to change it? I guess that still would not change anything because they would still become a werewolf (not that being a werewolf is something that needs to be changed!)? I apologize. My curiosity has bested me once again and I've even written most of my thoughts down here.
Just you speaking of the fact that this would be much easier in person makes me wish we could meet sooner so I could just talk with you. The mystery of our letters is gone for me now that I know who you are but the levels of intrigue are still very high. I want to know more about you. I always want to know about you. I wish I could know everything now but I know that getting to know you is a process. Plus I think knowing it all now would be less fun. I know I would learn so much more in person. Body language is usually very telling in situations and I'm sure I could have plenty of fun learning yours. I can't do that without being in front of you, Pity. I know that arguing with yourself can be exhausting but I can be patient, by forcing myself to be, when it comes to your wanting to learn my identity soon or not. I think the whole point of the subconscious is that we do so without knowing so it is entirely possible that your subconscious thinks I'm desperate. I think it may be a little right. Fortunately and unfortunately.
I am actually not one of the those people who associates secrecy with shame. I know that people have secrets but that doesn't stop me from wanting to know them.I guess it is different when it comes to relationships though. Or maybe not. All relationships that are secret aren't necessarily that way because of shame. I don't think so anyway. That is neither here nor there though. I had always believed that flaunting past relationships is... well my opinions don't really matter on the subject. I'm glad you told me. Even the way you described the relationship shows passion for what once was. It is lovely.
Yes I can definitely agree that when the love is one sided, the one who loves gives away a large piece of themselves to the ones that they love. And yes, now that I think about it that is incredibly frightening, thinking of how many people have possibly given a piece of themselves to me without me not knowing it. A frightening thought indeed. Just because we don't know that they've given a piece of themselves to us doesn't mean we don't have that piece. I think I feel a little odd thinking of that, having a piece of someone without my knowledge. What about when it is confessed? I would think someone people would give a piece of themselves away to the person who loves them even if they don't love them back. It would be remembered by them, that this person loves them and just acknowledging it sometimes can have them giving a piece right back, just because they care but not because they feel the same way.
I would first ask you if you were sure you wanted me to reveal myself and then I would ask you why now and what has changed that you wish to meet early. I do still wish to hold on to my identity a little bit longer so I think that would buy me a day or two.
I guess I must retract what I said about being more careful with my letters. I was caught in my memories and forgot to reread what I wrote and, again, I wanted to send it off as fast as possible so you would get it in a timely manner so I may have given away more than intended. I must be more careful. Though I can say I did feel some excitement at the thought that you were getting closer. I'm still at war with myself on you knowing my identity as well. I have confirmed that I have a brother but many pureblood families have at least one son. The other things I will not confirm or deny. Good luck. And you are absolutely more observant than you originally let on.
Sincerely,
Body Linguist .
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last online Apr 26, 2024 1:21:52 GMT -7
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Jun 3, 2017 14:46:28 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2017 14:46:28 GMT -7
dear stranger,
Why did I cry? Hard question to answer, because honestly, I’m not sure myself. Part of it is just… fear, I guess. I’m afraid about the future, and especially afraid about what me being a werewolf will do to my future. Now it’s easy to pretend I’m just a normal girl, but as I get older, the more the transformation is going to be more and more difficult for me, and it’s going to take a bigger toll on my body, and as someone who wants to make their living off of their body – not in a weird, prostitution-y way – that’s terrifying. As for angry… A lot of things make me angry. Just life in general, really…not being fair, or whatever. You would think that I would have learned by now, but I still expect the world to be fair, and people to be good, and when it isn’t, and they aren’t, I get frustrated. And when I get frustrated for too long… I guess it kind of turns into anger? Emotions are difficult to explain, as you probably know. And I don’t know whether or not I’m happy that the fact that I’m emotional comes across in my letters. I wish I was better at hiding sometimes.
Which of the two names did you recognize? I assume Irina Krum and Hugo Weasley. Georgiana – Georgie, I mean – keeps to herself enough that I wouldn’t expect someone not in Hufflepuff or not one of her friends to know much about her. But we’ve already been very thorough with our discourse about assumptions, so if that isn’t the case, feel free to correct me. I don’t know if it’s possible, but for those two abilities to converge… would be very rare, I think. I hate to say things are impossible, because it seems like the world just takes that as a challenge, but there’s only so many ways that magic can be stretched before it snaps, I think. And being a mindless beast once a month and transcending time are two very different, very opposite, gifts. And even if it was possible, I would imagine it would be difficult to be a clairvoyant werewolf… There would be so much loss of control… I’m sorry. It’s very difficult for me to think about.
I do think I could talk to you for the rest of my life. Not only could I, but I would. Happily. So in some ways, I guess it’s a good thing that we can’t meet up, yet. Otherwise I think that I probably would spend hours at a time just talking to you, when I probably ought to be doing other things, like homework… If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think you would be able to find out everything about me even if we did talk in person. My sister doesn’t know much about me, and I talk to her more than most people. I have an entire life that you have to learn up on, and secrets I have to decide to tell… I know I’m surprisingly open, but there are some things that my siblings still don’t know, and I don’t know if I’d be able to tell you before they learned. I don’t know. Maybe this is just me making excuses so that you won’t feel bad approaching me sooner rather than later.
Fun fact about me (that isn’t super secret): my body language is almost entirely shown through my knees. It’s my Quidditch weakness, so to speak. I don’t know if it’s the same in regular life, though. I’d assume so.
Maybe I associate the two because my biggest secret – that is, being a werewolf – was something that the entire world has told me to be ashamed of. I’ve tried to be more open about it, so that people don’t think of it as something to be ashamed of, but I don’t know if it’s working. If one good werewolf will change the rest of the world’s opinion, I mean. Haven’t we talked about this? I don’t even know anymore. I talk about it a lot, what it means for me to be a Greyback, but it seems like the more I talk about it the more confused I am. And the more people that tell me that I am my own person, the less I seem to believe it.
I hope that I never have to describe my relationship with you with such passion… at least not in the past tense. I would like to be very passionate in the present, though. And not through letters. Oof. That was one of the worst romantic overtures I think I’ve ever made… Hopefully you’ll allow me to make up for that?
I don’t know what happens when it’s confessed. Can you really give someone a piece of your heart if you’re not into it at all? Even pitying someone wouldn’t take a piece of your heart from you. I like to think that something would happen, but I don’t know what that something is. This theorizing is beginning to hurt my brain. Either that, or all of the studying for Charms that I just did. Or maybe both.
How about this – instead of waiting and circling (well, you circling me), we spend a day together. Twenty four hours together, just the two of us. And then we part ways until we decide what to do next. You can charm yourself if you want, to protect your identity, but I really do just want to spend the day with you. And then we can stop all of this talk, about what it would be like to meet. And you could stay secret, but I could hug you. Or do more than hug you. And we could talk, and… I am really desperate to know you.
Care to stop my desperation? love, me @lionaanna
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last online Apr 26, 2024 1:21:52 GMT -7
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Jun 3, 2017 18:50:16 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2017 18:50:16 GMT -7
Dear Full of Surprises (@jamie ),
I imagine that with the intense work out your body will be getting from being a quidditch player that, for a while, your body will be able to handle your transformation without issue. I know it will eventually take a toll but I believe you have a while before you'll need to start worrying about that. I assume that you plan on playing quidditch for a while as well so, again, I don't think you'll have to worry. Quidditch can be rather dangerous though so maybe it may put even more of a strain on your body? Injuries may do that so just try to avoid that. As for the world being unfair, it absolutely can be. And people can definitely be evil. Sometimes I think there is more than meets the eye to some of them but I know there are those that are just honestly and unforgivably evil. It's strange to me, those who are evil because their ideals usually lack logic. Those who are causing trouble now, their logic is flawed. But that's a different conversation, I guess, one we may have had already. It is natural that frustration progresses to anger when continuous. I'm glad you're not better at hiding, I don't want you to hide from me. That may seem a little silly considering I know that everyone has their secrets but I don't want you to want to hide things from me.
Yes, Krum and Weasley are the names that recognized from that list due to the fame attached to their last names. I assume most people would recognize their last names. Though now that you write that nickname I think I may recognize the third name as well though I do not know anything of her. It may be rather clear how that name is recognizable for me. And if not then I'll keep that secret too. The world and I definitely have that in common. I won't cause you think about it any longer but you make me ponder things I would not have before. Maybe it would be similar to your friend Georgiana and it would only manifest during certain events? I don't know. Nevermind me though! Skip this portion of the letter! I will stop writing on the subject so you no longer have to ponder it.
Oh but my dearest Jamie we absolutely can meet up. It just seems that neither of us are fully willing to give in because we seem to be at war with ourselves. I would also happily spend hours on end talking to you which would in turn cause me to do horribly on my N.E.W.T.s because I would no nothing but talk with you instead of studying. We should both be studying. I should be studying now but I'm taking time to write you. You've offered me another challenge. I did tell you that I make it a long term goal to learn the whole of those I care for. You are definitely included in that and I will learn you no matter how long it takes. I can be patient so those things that you haven't told your siblings yet I can wait until you've told them and, when you wish, you can tell me. As long as I get to approach you I won't feel bad.
Fun fact: Even though I don't show my emotions very much I do have a nervous habit. You'll see it when we meet because I'm certain I'll be nervous. I may try to hide it but it really is something that I can't help. If I tell you what it is not I might give myself away.
Yes, you are your own person and that won't change but I can't deny that people who don't know you won't connect you with your father. I've never thought about it but I don't think it's something you should be ashamed of either, being a werewolf I mean. It is just something that is. You're a werewolf. A very cute werewolf. Not to derail the conversation. I'm sure you're aren't the world's first good werewolf even if the world doesn't know it. Just be you. Again I can't speak on your experiences because I have never been in that position but if you need someone to listen or read, I'm happy to listen or read.
I will repeat your sentiment and just say let's not think about us in the past tense. You're so cute. I will happily allow you to make up to me.
I think it is definitely possible to give someone your heart when you pity them. Those who care about people and are afraid of hurting others definitely give out pieces of their heart to many people simply because they feel bad they may have hurt someone. Or those just care about people in general. I don't mean to make your brain hurt. Theories have always been fun for me. What ifs are always interesting. I do find it funny that we're both studying Charms though.
Your offer has done funny things to my heart. The only issue that I have with this offer is me having to charm myself. I fear that I cannot charm myself without changing who I am entirely and I quite like who I am and how I look. You've made me nervous, and that is something that absolutely does not happen often. It's feels like this may be all or nothing unless I can figure out a way to better hide myself in your presence. But yes, I would definitely like to take you up on your offer. How about Saturday? Unless you are busy. Maybe Sunday? That will give us both 2-3 days to prepare. And possibly shake off any nerves. Though I think that may be impossible. Do you really mean and full twenty four hours? When will it start? When will it end? What do you wish to do?
Sincerely,
Ready When You Are .
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last online Apr 26, 2024 1:21:52 GMT -7
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Jun 8, 2017 6:20:54 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2017 6:20:54 GMT -7
dear stranger,
I was thinking more that the physical stress of Quidditch would compound with the physical stress of being a werewolf. In any case, it’s something that I think about more than I should. Thinking about the future sometimes muddles the present, and I am definitely muddling my present with worrying about all the things I need to think about for the future. I think it’s fair to say that no Quidditch player tries to get injured, though, so I will definitely join those ranks. As for people being evil… Maybe it’s the Hufflepuff in me, but I like to think that no one is truly evil. Which makes me sound like an awful person, I guess, because it implies there’s a reason that Elaine Dupree and her cronies are the way that they are, but I don’t like to believe that there are people that can’t change, because then I have to wonder if I am one of those people, and that’s not something I like to think about. A lot of people hold beliefs just because it allows them to be comfortable with the way they already see the world, so I guess I’m in those ranks, too.
It always makes me kind of sad when people are recognized only for their surname. I know it’s bound to happen in a world like ours, where everyone seems to be related to someone who did something in the war, but when you happen to be related to someone who’s infamous instead of famous… When I met my previous girlfriend, I was so excited to maybe marry her, because it meant that I would be a Weasley. And being a Weasley is infinitely better than being a Greyback in terms of reputation. If you are indeed in the GSA, then you’ve at least seen Georgie before. She’s a member, though I’m not exactly sure why that is. It’s too late to skip the portion – I’ve already responded!
Being at war with myself is not a new experience with me, so I thought that it would have been slightly easier to give in this time. I think we can both agree that studying is just something that gets in the way of our owls at this point, isn’t it? I understand wanting to do well, but sometimes I wonder if my studying actually gets me anything at all. I mean, I do well in my classes, but who’s to say I wouldn’t do just as well without studying? (This is how I tend to get after a long time sitting at a desk. The Hogwarts grounds bring back a lot of bad memories for me, but I guess I’m not mean to be cooped up inside for too long. Being in the basement doesn’t help with the being cooped up thing.) I might not end up telling my siblings everything… I mean, who’s to say they even want to know? I keep going back and forth. Indecision is my nature when it comes to personal matters.
A nervous habit? How intriguing. I’ll keep an eye out for it.
It’s hard to think about not being something when the way society looks at us is just now changing. There are still people who think that I’m dirty for my disease, and they’d probably think I was even dirtier if they knew that it was my father who bit me, and not just one of his minions. It is something that is… but sometimes I wish it was not. I can’t even remember being bitten. I was seven years old – shouldn’t I remember? I believed for years that I was born this way, and… Sorry. I obviously have a lot I still need to work on with myself as far as accepting that happened. I know that I’m not the world’s first good werewolf, but I might well be the world’s first good Greyback. Not to say anything against my siblings, but they’re so… Different. I don’t know if they’d call themselves good. I just don’t know.
I am probably one of those people who would give someone their heart out of pity. I’ve been told that I feel too much, so it shouldn’t be surprising to me, but since I absolutely loathe when people pity me, I hate the idea that I would make someone else feel that same way. I know that you don’t mean to hurt me – it would be rather strange if we were saying all these things and then would willingly be malicious. What ifs are interesting, but dangerous. The fact that we’re both studying Charms is interesting indeed. I may tell you a story about the Charms teacher someday. (That’s vague, but it’s supposed to be.)
You don’t have to charm yourself if you don’t want to. I just thought that might be a way for you to hide your identity, if you wanted the mystery to continue – I didn’t know if that would be your first priority or not. I’m nervous, too… But it happens to me quite a lot, so it’s not quite as special. I would prefer Sunday, of the two days. I have an engagement, shall we say, starting at sundown on Saturday, and I’d hate for our day to be cut short on my account. I’d like to spend a full twenty-four hours together, but it’s occurring to me that if it was that long, we’d either have to stay up all night (not the best option on a school night) or sleep together (not the best option on a first date, even if the sleeping is the innocent kind). It can start right after breakfast? And end… Whenever we want it to end, I suppose. As for what we do, I have no idea, but we can meet by the Room of Requirement so we have plenty of freedom with what we do, if that’s amenable to you? love, me @lionaanna
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last online Apr 26, 2024 1:21:52 GMT -7
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Jun 11, 2017 23:10:02 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jun 11, 2017 23:10:02 GMT -7
Dear Full of Worries Too (@jamie ),
Oh. Well I don't think you have anything to worry about for quite a while. Quidditch and being a werewolf may change things slightly but you should be able-bodied for a while to come. She didn't play Quidditch nor was she a werewolf but look at how spry the Head Mistress is? And she has quite a bit of age behind her. She is an Animangi though so she does change form and she is still doing well. It doesn't make you sound awful. I'm sure most people would say it just makes you sound a little naive. For me to believe that no one is truly evil and there is a reason for everything that would have to mean, for me, that every thought is logical, which isn't the case. As you said, most people hold on to beliefs because it fits their own world views. People change when they accept that their own world view is not the only truth that exists in this world. I guess that may be just me thinking too much into it though.
Jamie Weasley? What an interesting thought. I know you would just be married but I just imagined you with red hair. I think you look lovely either way.
I am currently at a desk now in the library, studying my life away, but yes I definitely agree that studying is becoming a distraction from being able to write you. I feel like I've studied so much already and then I look back at my agenda and realize just how much I have left. It's very saddening but it's something that must be done. I know there are a few classes I would do perfectly well in if I were to decide not to study for them but I do it anyway.
That is ten years of memory you would have to sift through in order to remember being bitten and, unless you have an excellent memory, it is not surprising that you don't remember because it is hard for most people to remember things from that long ago. I can assume that it isn't a pleasant memory either so maybe you'd tried to forget it intentionally. I don't think it is entirely lost, just a bit hidden in your mind. Just as there are people who still believe those things about werewolves, there are people who know those things aren't true about werewolves. And just as there are those who would think that you or your other siblings are automatically bad, there are those who will give you the benefit of the doubt. Your worries are not unfounded but it does not do to dwell on it and to make the possibility of something like that happening the center of your thoughts or to even think about it any deeper than just in passing.
Professor Zhu? Now I'm rather curious. You should tell me anyway. In your next letter. How unfair for you to get pique my interest and then not satisfy my curiosities. I said that vaguely with thoughts of you in mind, the piece about someone caring enough about someone to give them a piece of their own heart anyway. I know of others who are the same way as well. It it not particularly how I am though as I try to be protective of my heart. So in situations where I know my love is unrequited, the person who is the subject of my affections would never know. I am just protective of my heart in general.
I'm still unsure. It's been distracting me since I last wrote you which is why I find myself in the library now. I had been so distracted that I had not been very successful in studying for an upcoming Divination exam so I have to study now. Although I guess I'm not getting any work done now either because I'm writing you now. I will get it done, of this I am certain. I really do not know if I should charm myself or not. No matter, I will be glad to meet you on Sunday just after breakfast near the Room of Requirement. Maybe a charm would help? But I won't be able to be myself if I'm charmed. I'll be someone else and that makes me feel odd just thinking about it. My distraction regarding the charm keeps me from being nervous. And now I;m nervous.
Sincerely,
Three Days? .
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last online Apr 26, 2024 1:21:52 GMT -7
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Jul 8, 2017 6:10:56 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2017 6:10:56 GMT -7
dear stranger liona,
It was nice to see you today. jamie @lionaanna
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