Food Is Overrated ... Not (Xan)

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It was time for dinner and Kinsey was hungry ... but too many people were there. She'd walked past the Great Hall, but it was full of high-strung teenagers. Everyone was excited or frustrated and there was just too much going on in there today. Too many people with differing intentions and Kinsey had no intention of giving herself a headache because of it. So she decided to go on a walk. She'd come back in about half an hour. By then the crowd at dinner should have died down, and if not she would head down to the kitchens and grab something to eat there. For now, however, she was very much enjoying the cool evening air as she walked around. She didn't really have somewhere she was going, but that was part of the fun and Kinsey was ready for some fun about now.

@xanthippe

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There was something about freedom that was positively addicting. Now that she was allowed where she wanted to go on the Hogwarts grounds, Xan was spending more and more of her time outside. She always a cloak with her, because she would hate to become sick again because she forgot to wear a cloak once or twice, but other than that, Xan was exploring Hogwarts with a kind of reckless abandon that she hadn’t ever really had. Xan didn’t realize that she was near missing dinner until her stomach gave a loud grumble of complaint. Well, that wouldn’t do! The Ravenclaw began making her way towards the castle and the endless food available, when she saw a familiar figure. “Kinsey!” Xan called to her, changing her path slightly so it would intersect with the other girl’s. “You’re missing dinner!” It looked like the other girl had just exited the castle, but Xan didn’t want anyone missing out on the chance to eat because they didn’t realize what time of day it was.

@kinsey

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The walk was going quite nicely, as she'd expected. Hardly anyone was out and about, most of them were eating, which was perfect. Kinsey paused when she heard someone call her name cheerfully. She turned toward the sound and smiled when she saw the girl heading near her. Xan was always such a positive girl. Kins couldn't ever remember having felt a bad aura around her, which made her more comfortable talking with the girl. "Xan," she greeted in response. The girl was walking toward her, so Kinsey stopped, her stomach clenching when Xan mentioned that she was missing dinner. "I'm ... not hungry yet," Kinsey said with a fake smile. "I thought I'd go on a short walk to build up my appetite. You feel free to go on in there though," she encouraged. No need for her fellow Ravenclaw to miss eating with all her friends because of Kinsey. 

@xanthippe

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Kinsey stopped walking, which made it much easier for Xan to catch up to her, still smiling at the other girl. Kinsey said that she wasn’t hungry yet, and Xan shrugged. What was she supposed to say – ‘no, you must be hungry at dinner time’? She knew that the other Ravenclaw didn’t always like to be around crowds, but Xan had thought that dinner time would be an exception. For now, she was willing to believe that it wasn’t about the crowds, though, and that Kinsey was telling the truth about not being hungry. The other girl said that she was going to go on a walk to build up her appetite, but that Xan could go, and the blonde shook her head. “No, I don’t want you to be out here alone.” She said. It wasn’t after curfew, but it was still dark out, and Xan thought that they could never be too careful, especially with the two people that had been murdered in January. “Is it alright if I walk with you?” Xan asked belatedly. She didn’t want to stick her nose in where she wasn’t wanted.

@kinsey

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Xan was smiling at her as she approached, which was nice. At least she wasn't going to be like Cara and order Kinsey around, not that she expected her to. Cara was one of a kind, after all. Xan said that she didn't want Kinsey to be out alone and she nodded. "Thanks, but you don't have to stay out here," she offered. Xan was the kind of person who wouldn't care about being hungry, Kinsey thought, but she might as well make sure she knew that Kins didn't expect her to stay out here. Then the girl asked if she could walk with Kinsey. "Of course," she answered with a smile. "How does it feel being out of the hospital wing?" Kinsey asked after a few moments. She and Xan weren't particularly close, but she felt comfortable asking that.

@xanthippe

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Kinsey once again insisted that she didn’t have to stay outside, and Xan shook her head. “I know that I don’t have to do anything. But I want to.” She hoped she was impressing upon Kinsey that Xan didn’t just see this as an obligation. She knew that Kinsey didn’t seem to have a lot of friends, and Xan had a habit of becoming friends with those sorts of people. Well, at least she had done it with Edmund, and that had turned out even better than expected. The other girl agreed that Xan could stay with her, and the Ravenclaw smiled brightly. The question about the hospital wing was a little difficult to answer. “It’s weird. I feel like I’ve missed so much but everyone’s acting like they’re just the same as they were before I was gone.” Xan wasn’t a fool; she knew that her classmates must have changed in the six months since she had shared a room with them. Maybe it was guilt that was causing them to lie to her – they felt bad for not visiting her – but it felt like they were just doing it because that’s what they thought she wanted. Xan didn’t have many expectations for coming back, since she knew that she had been gone a long time, but being handled with kid gloves wasn’t her favorite thing.

@kinsey

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Kinsey smiled at the girl when she re-iterated that she wanted to do this. She could sense her sincerity and so Kins smiled and nodded. "Well thank you. It's always nicer to be with someone than alone." Unless that someone had bad intentions. Then it was definitely better to be alone, but Xanthippe was definitely not one of those, so it was a good thing. The girl seemed a little discouraged about missing so much school and time with her friends. "Maybe they haven't changed as much as you expected them to?" Kinsey asked with a shrug of her shoulders. "This year has been pretty mild, relatively speaking. I mean, nothing major has been going on in Ravenclaw that you missed out on ... at least, nothing that I noticed." She gave a small laugh. Kinsey didn't notice everything, but she was pretty observant. 

@xanthippe

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Xan nodded enthusiastically when Kinsey said that it was nicer to be with someone than to be alone. She knew that all too well from her time in the hospital wing, when she had had to spend most of the time when the others were in classes alone. It wasn’t as fun as when Hugo – or occasionally, someone else – came to visit. Kinsey said that maybe her friends hadn’t changed as much as she expected them to, and Xan chewed on her lip. “Even if they haven’t changed as much as I thought, they still have to have changed at least a little bit, right?” She asked. It was impossible that not a single thing about them had changed in so long. Even if it was something as small as their favorite color, Xan wanted to know. “I just feel like they’re trying to hide it from me because they think I won’t like it or something.” Xan wanted to know the new versions of her friends, not just the old versions she had left behind when she had gone into the hospital wing. “Lysander Scamander went blind.” Xan pointed out. “That must have been big for a while, right?” She prompted, trying to get Kinsey to remember just how long she had been away for. She only knew about the older boy because he had come to the hospital wing for a time, and she had been there. Obviously.

@kinsey

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Kinsey shrugged when Xan started explaining that people had to have changed. "Maybe, but then again maybe they've changed in ways that can't be noticed or seen," she suggested. After all, Kinsey didn't feel as though she'd changed much from the beginning of the school year until now, other than the things she'd learned. If she had changed, it would be her desire to talk more with people and make more friends. That wasn't a change that was easily visible, since she was pretty discreet about it. Kinsey's eyebrows furrowed as she thought. "Well if they're your friends, I doubt they're hiding it from you on purpose ... possibly it's more like it's become a part of who they are now that they don't realize it?" She paused a moment. "Besides, you don't seem like the kind of girl who wouldn't appreciate the changes in their friends' lives. She mentioned Lysander going blind and Kinsey nodded, "Yes, but not all of us go through major things like that, you know." She shrugged. "I think they probably don't realize the ways they've changed. I think you'll come to see the changes as you talk with them."

@xanthippe

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Xan shrugged when the other Ravenclaw said that it was possible that her friends had changed in ways that couldn’t be noticed. It was possible, but she still couldn’t stop feeling like something was being hidden from her. “They’re changing whenever they’re around me!” She protested when Kinsey said that it was possible her friends weren’t hiding things from her on purpose, because they had become so ingrained in who they were. It wasn’t like that. It was the fact that they weren’t acting natural that got to Xan. It was like every time she walked into a room everyone saw her, and then changed themselves accordingly. And it felt weird, and not good. Kinsey said that not everyone went through major changes like Lysander going blind, and Xan struggled to try to find a way to explain what she was feeling. “It’s not that everyone had to go through something life-changing like that.” She said, her voice a little tight with emotion. She was frustrated by this, because even though she was talking about Lysander, she was talking about herself, too. “It’s that when someone close to you goes through something big, you’d hope that you’d change, too.” Xan said. She didn’t want her being sick just to have affected her and those closest to her. “Like ripples in a pond. Those who are closest to the splash point are changed the most, but even the people on the edges feel a little bit of the change.” Maybe it was naïve to believe that she could make the world better and more empathetic just by being sick, or that people would care that she had gone through something like that, but Xan had always been hopeful.

@kinsey

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Kinsey frowned at the older girl's comment. She obviously felt very left out and alone and Kinsey felt bad for her. "Well I'll be your friend, if you want. I promise I won't treat you different." For all that was worth, though it probably wasn't worth much. "It might just take them time to get used to the fact that you're back and things are better again," she added, hoping that might help Xan. She was very upset and Kinsey hated seeing people like that. She listened to Xan's analogy to a ripple in a pond and nodded. "That makes sense." Other than that, Kinsey really didn't know what to say to the girl, who was obviously disappointed and a little upset with the way things were working out with her friends. That was a shame, but there really wasn't much that Kins could do about it. 

@xanthippe

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Kinsey offered to be her friend, and Xan furrowed her eyebrows slightly. That seemed almost too easy, especially since Kinsey wasn’t well-known in Ravenclaw for being popular or having a lot of friends. Still, it wasn’t like the other girl could treat her differently than she had before, because there had been no before. Kinsey said that it would take time for people to get used to her being back and being better, and Xan nodded. “I’ve already spent a lot of time waiting.” She said, not trying to mope but trying to explain why she was acting the way she was despite normally being the one to look on the bright side of things. “I didn’t expect to have to wait even more once I was back.” Xan had expected for things to be normal as soon as she had moved back in. “Guess I should adjust my expectations.” Xan had spent so much time seeing the best in people that being disappointed about this one, big thing was a bit like a punch to the gut, and she didn’t like it.

@kinsey

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Xan didn't say anything about Kinsey offering to be her friend and Kins bit her lip reflexively. Well, she wasn't going to offer again. She didn't want to make the girl feel obligated. Besides, Kinsey had friends. Maybe not a ton, but enough friends that she was happy. Unless she was fighting with her sister, that was.Kinsey nodded when Xan said she already waited. "That makes sense," she agreed with the other girl. She tried to imagine how she'd feel in the same situation and was sure she wouldn't want to wait for her friends to be normal again ... then again she also liked the solitude most of the time, so she didn't know how much it would annoy her. She shrugged, "I'm sure they're not trying to disappoint you," Kinsey tried to say something that might soothe Xan. She didn't think her friends were being intentionally mean, but she also had no idea what to say to the older girl. She wanted to help, but didn't know if she could.

@xanthippe

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Well, even if Kinsey disagreed with what a lot of what Xan was saying, at least the other girl could kind of see where she was coming from. That was more than Xan had expected of this conversation. Kinsey pointed out that her friends weren’t trying to ignore her, and Xan almost laughed. That was such a typical Ravenclaw response – looking past the emotions into the logic beneath it. “I know they’re not trying, but you don’t always have to try to do something like that.” People hurt the people they cared about all the time, and Xan was willing to bet that almost no one tried to do that. They were just… flawed. All of them were, Xan included, otherwise she wouldn’t be obsessing over her friends and their reaction to her return. She would just accept that things were the way they were. “About what you said earlier… about being my friend…” Xan said, glancing over at Kinsey to try to gauge the other girl’s response. She hadn’t meant to ignore the question earlier, but now, it needed to be addressed. “I would like that. If the offer still stands.” Xan wasn’t sure if it could just happen like that, but she could certainly try to spend more time with Kinsey and see where it went from there.

@kinsey

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Kinsey nodded slowly when Xan said that people didn't always try to hurt others. That was true enough. Some people did what they thought was best and ended up hurting others. Other people did what they thought the others wanted and hurt them. And some people hurt others on purpose. "I guess that makes sense," Kinsey responded, though she wished she could argue the fact. She wanted Xan to feel like she had good friends, but she didn't really know the girl so she didn't know what would help her feel better. Kinsey paused momentarily when Xan brought up what she said earlier, about them being friends. Kinsey looked at her curiously. She thought the girl discarded the idea ... but apparently not. Kinsey smiled when Xan said she wanted them to be friends. "It does," she answered instantly. "I'd like for us to be friends," Kins added, just to make sure she was being clear. Her smile turned mischievous, "Does this mean we need to do all the get-to-know-you questions?" she teased. She wasn't opposed to that idea, but she was kidding.

@xanthippe