we hate what we don't know (ethan)

[Deleted]

i am my own

HOGWARTS HAD ONCE BEEN THE ONLY PLACE TIA HAD ALWAYS FELT SAFE. Having lost her brother, and in some ways her sister too, security became something Tia looked for in other places. Once upon a time security had been at her sisters side, attached to the hip. But, as the years went by and Tia's quiet resentments grew, as much couldn't truly be said any more. And so, Tia found comfort elsewhere. Like, for instance, the library.

Never a fan of dark corridors or lengthy shadows, one might assume that the library would be the last place Tia would find any real comfort. But, with a flickering lantern within arms reach, Tia could be found spending half days leafing through hefty books of obscure origins.

Like this particular evening, for instance. Tia had been wandering the stacks for what felt like hours. Time ceased to exist in the library, a space where  natural light never seemed to reach. 'Sunlight is no good for these old beasts', Tia had been informed once, when she'd asked rather anxiously her first year why it was 'so dark'.

Now, as a seventh year, and Prefect, Tia had long since come to recognise the place as a sort of haven. Nobody was likely to mistake her for Tamara there. Almost every student present was consumed with whatever task at hand, willing or otherwise. And recently, as Tamara fawned over her new 'friend' Ethan, the library had seemed more and more appealing. Tia couldn't remember the last time she had had a full conversation with her twin. It twisted her gut so tight she pressed the large tome in her arms against the physical ache of it. No matter, she told herself. I couldn't care less, she lied. 

@ghostethan - i hope this is alright! you are officially my first post. x.x

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[Deleted]

Ethan was often in the library, studying with Liam and reading way more books tan he really needed to for school. He practically lived there, when he wasn't with Tamara or doing his prefect duties. He felt bad whenever he saw Tia around... for the fact that she didn't know her very well, more than anything else. He knew that it would be a good thing to get to know her, to befriend her. She always seemed so... well, different from Tamara - but in a good way. Both being prefects meant Ethan had seen her at meetings and sometimes during night patrols, but he hadn't the courage to talk to her. He had just recently had the courage to really talk to Tamara.

As luck would have it, he looked up from the chair he was studying in to see Tia, one shelf over, perusing. He swallowed before he lost his nerve and stood, crossing over to her. "I wasn't aware the books needed a prefect to look after them. Well, at least not more than one," he tried to joke, but his voice was strained. How could he talk to her like they knew each other when in reality... they didn't?

@tia

[Deleted]

i am my own

WHEN TIA AND TAMARA WERE LITTLE, TIA USED TO HAVE THE BIGGEST VOICE. She was the oldest, a fact Tia had used so often that it had worn thin. When they were practically a single entity, and Tia was in charge. The bossy one. But, at Hogwarts and with age, Tia regressed. She couldn't quite remember when 'adventure' turned from climbing trees and holding imaginary courts, to balancing books and a new feathered quill.

Was it sad, she wondered. To be so comfortable in her own company that the sound of a second voice that was not her own made the girl jump?

The book in Tia's arms, a large poked leather tome, jerked and wobbled as she juggled it in fright. She hadn't expected company. It had to be getting late, and only a fair few risked the stacks past lights out. Especially with Prefects roaming around. Turning her head, she scowled in confusion, the dim lanterns casting ghostly shadows across her company's face. Ethan Johnson. 

Tia suspected she had known of Ethan before her twin sister ever really had, but that didn't change the fact that her sister spoke more of him than she ever did. Both Prefects, they shared various duties in their shared house. Sat together in meetings and ushered along younger students like herding sheep. But, Tia hadn't ever really noticed him until her sister spoke of him. Until she caught that moony expression from across corridors. Sitting a little closer, leaning in to share private conversations. Still frowning, Tia's shoulders lifted toward her ears as she hiked the book in her arms a little closer, self conscious.

"I'm not... looking after them." Tia scoffed at the ridiculous notion, her lips downturned. She knew he was joking, but given his newfound interest in her sister, Tia found herself a little tough around the edges. Why was he speaking to her? This wasn't a Prefect meeting, he didn't need to. "But if I were," She said, feeling a little bad for sniping, "you'd be out of the job. I like to work alone." She was only half-joking, chin tilted a little sharply as she turned and returned the great book to its respective shelf, watching it float above her head and find its place with ease.

"Tamara's not here," She added dully when she turned back to find him still lingering. It was her first instinct to assume that he might be looking for her. Those days, when addressed unexpectedly, it was often to inquire about her sister. 

@ghostethan

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[Deleted]

She said she wasn't looking after them, in classic Tia fashion. He never knew how to act around her, especially since they weren't really friends and he was involved with Tamara. She didn't make it easy, either. She said that he'd be out of the job if she was indeed protecting the books, which showed him she was at least trying to be a good sport. Maybe. She said she liked to work alone and he smiled lightly, putting his hands up in surrender. "I thought we prefects were supposed to work together," he said, but the rest of the year they hadn't, so why would they start now? Just because of Tam?

She added that Tamara wasn't there and he winced a little, expecting that to come out of her mouth but still surprised that she really thought he only cared about her sister. It wasn't the craziest notion, though, considering he was dating Tam. "I wasn't looking," he added, giving a short and awkward shrug. "I mean... you are, and we don't talk, so we may as well try starting now," he suggested.

@tia

[Deleted]

i am my own

TIA PRETENDED TO CONSIDER ETHAN'S THOUGHT. 'Work together'... Yeah right. She tilted her head and squinted her eyes. "You didn't seem to mind before," Tia said flatly. "Why the sudden change of heart?" Tia thought she knew why, in fact she was quite certain. Ethan was all moony eyed over her sister, and suddenly Tia was recognisable. Not because of her wit, or her brain, but because she just so happened to have a sister that was practically her mirror image.

Sighing as Ethan eventually found his point - not here for Tamara, here to chum with Tee - Tia crossed her arms rather firmly, leaning at a slight slouch as she cocked her hip. There was attitude in the pull of her brows. "Ethan, you're perfectly nice, but I don't need you to be my friend because you fancy my sister." It came out a little harsh, but when was Tia anything else?

She pinned him with her eyes, feeling a little red then as a thought occurred to her. Did he feel sorry for her...? Had Tia said something. "It's not like I'm that desperate for friends." Tia's frown deepened and she said something that left her feeling a little raw. "Did- did Tamara tell you to talk to me..?" His answer was important. It determined whether or not the next book she had to shelf was shelved toward his head. 

@ghostethan

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[Deleted]

Ethan's brow furrowed as she said that he didn't seem to mind before, asking about his change of heart. "In all honesty, I was pretty darn sure you didn't want a partner," he said, almost harshly, but not really because this was Ethan and he was basically a big, fluffy cloud. "So, I don't bother people who I think don't... want to... be bothered... which is clearly what I'm doing now," his voice softened one word at a time, until his last word was almost inaudible. Ethan didn't do confrontation very well.

Tia crossed her arms and took a stance that made his shoulders tense. Aaaand, there it was. Her saying that he only wanted to get to know her because of Tam. Which was a little true, so he didn't know what to say right away. She went on, talking about her not being desperate for friends and asking if Tam told him to talk to her. His head shook rapidly. "No! No. I'm just... an idiot," he said, his tone pleading. "Call it what you want, Tia. I'm just here to talk," he said. In fact, he hadn't even come here to talk. She had stumbled on him.

@tia

[Deleted]

i am my own

TIA DIDN'T ALWAYS REALISE SHE PUSHED PEOPLE AWAY. Not until it was too late, and especially as a teenager. It was a defensive mechanism. She had hard opinions and a face that rarely smiled. Tia liked her own company, but she didn't hate having friends. It just so happened that her often sharp attitude could be somewhat unlikable. She spent too much time trying to avoid becoming a copy of her sister and studying that it isolated her from others. Especially people already friends with Tamara.

"I don't..." Tia began, defensive. "I never said you were bothering me." She only said it because she wanted to tell Ethan he was wrong. Wrong about her, and what he supposed she thought about him. But he liked her sister, and of course in her mind that meant the only reason he'd waste time speaking to her would be on Tamara's word. Why else? Her brain asked.

At his panicked refusal of this something settled in Tia just a fraction. She dropped the book in her arm, and slowly slid in to a seat near the table she'd been organising. "Fine..." She muttered, face flat, but not purposefully welcoming. "Talk." 

@ghostethan

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[Deleted]

Ethan would never understand why talking to Tia was so hard for him. She said that she never said he was bothering her and he just nodded, then shrugged, then nodded again. He didn't know what to say to that. What, that she gave the impression? That he was making assumptions? Both of those things seemed like stupid things to say. So he didn't say anything further. But, then she agreed to talk and sat down. He nodded, gulped, and sat down across from her. "How is your day going?" that was a good place to start talking, right? He wanted her to talk too... not just him. Man, why was this so hard, and why hadn't he tried to talk to her sooner? Maybe in a subconscious fashion she was right. Maybe he hadn't taken the time to talk to her because he was so into Tamara that he didn't really think that hard about Tia. That was very possible, albeit sad.

@tia

[Deleted]

i am my own

IT HADN'T BEEN HER INTENTION TO MAKE HIM UNCOMFORTABLE. She didn't always know exactly what to say, and her inherent suspicion of him due to his connections with her sister seemed to sour any space between them. But she felt unapologetic. It was his own fault, right? Although, if so, why was her stomach so knotted?

Perching on the end of her seat, Tia licked her lips and blinked blankly. He seemed to consider her offer, and surprising Tia, agreed as he sat opposite her. But the tension in Tia was like a coiled snake. She sat looking down at her hands, tugging at a homemade woven bracelet of blue and bronze thread around her wrist. Her day, how had her day been? "Alright," She said with a shrug, hunching her shoulders and looking over at Ethan with a frown. He was trying. Why was he trying? 

"Library feels like the only place a muggleborn hasn't died yet." She said bluntly, her lips down-turned as she looked up. It wasn't unlike her to be so brash, but she wanted to see how he would react. What his face would do in the shadowy cover of the library. "What about you? Written any sonnets for my sister today?" She asked with a brief and sharp edged smile. 

@ghostethan

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[Deleted]

This was scarier than he and Tamara's first kiss! Maybe because then he already knew how Tamara felt about him. Tia, however, was a mystery. She said her day was alright and went on to speak about how the library felt like the only place no one had died. Ethan felt his stomach churn at that. Being a muggleborn himself, and a Ravenclaw like the last kid who died was, made this all even more horrible. No one should be dying, but it was scarier when you knew you were being targeted.

Then she mentioned sonnets for Tam and Ethan shook his head, chuckling nervously. "I don't write sonnets," he corrected, choosing not to comment on the murders at the moment, since she gave him a subject change. "Do you?"

@tia

[Deleted]

i am my own

HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. In fact, other than a barely perceptible flinch, he hardly reacted at all. It was better than disgust. It was better than saying anything at all, she realised. Because by staying silent, he didn't say anything that would rankle her. She couldn't pass judgement at all. Okay, so maybe he was smarter than he looked. Though she respected that. She did feel a little cheated. Maybe she was looking for an argument. A reason to hate him.

At the very least, he seemed to awkwardly react to her mention of sonnets. His laugh a little stilted, and was that a little red in his cheeks? She couldn't be sure in the low lighting. "No." She spat, rolling her eyes. "Though I've read some." Tugging at her bracelet harshly, she wrinkled her nose. "Bit sickly tbh. Simpleton." She didn't want to be seen as some kind of romantic. Realising that he'd expertly turned the conversation on her. She didn't like that one bit. "Not that it's any of your business," She sniffed, turning her head away. "I'm not dating your sister."

@ghostethan

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[Deleted]

She said that she had read sonnets, after rather aggressively making it clear that she didn't write them. He didn't understand what he had done to make her so... snappy with him. Then, she said that she didn't like them, and brought up Tamara again. Ethan was tired and, in all honesty, he wasn't sure if he had the energy to get through this conversation anymore. Plus, he had actual work to do with people and things that actually wanted him around. No, no, he didn't mean to think rudely of her. He didn't like to think rudely of anyone, but he definitely was out for the day.

She shifted to stand, nodding at her. "I'm sure you're not Annie's type," he said, meaning it as a joke but his tone was an exhausted one. "I better get going, actually. I'm sure I'll see you on patrol this week," he suggested, before gathering his things and walking away.

@tia
(the end <3)